


Heroes Don't Cry

by Sunaiya



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: ASGZC, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Cloud Strife Needs a Hug, Cloud is a badass though, Confused Cloud Strife, Confusion, D/s themes, Dominance, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, Haphephobia, Hojo (Compilation of FFVII) Being An Asshole, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Polyamory, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Sephiroth, Protective Zack Fair, Psychological Trauma, Romance, SOLDIER - Freeform, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Submission, Temporary Character Death, The best kind though, Violence, Warning: Hojo (Compilation of FFVII), Zack Fair & Cloud Strife Friendship, hard headed Cloud
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-19
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:28:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 28
Words: 219,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25378435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sunaiya/pseuds/Sunaiya
Summary: It's all over. Geostigma is eradicated, Sephiroth is gone again, and the world is left to slowly heal itself, while Cloud is left with his thoughts. Everything and everyone else seemed like it was beginning to move on, so why does he feel like he is nothing but a broken relic of the past; a past everyone desperately wants to forget. He’d forgotten what it feels like to not be either numb to everything, or mentally writhing in silent torment. What did true laughter feel like -- not just a cock of the lips, or little huffs of comical air -- laughter from deep in one’s stomach? Does it feel good? Does it produce tears of happiness, instead of those bred from agony? He’d heard the corny line “time heals all wounds” enough times by now, to know time passing was not going to fix him.If he reached for the light, it burned him; if he turned his back on it, he’d drown in dark uncertainty. Dark, cold, alone, afraid. These were the only words that could be used to describe his reality. But what if his slate could be wiped clean? What if, in another timeline, Cloud Strife had never existed? The only question is, will he be able to push aside his pain, and try to embrace the happy life he should have had?
Relationships: Zack Fair/Angeal Hewley/Genesis Rhapsodos/Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 532
Kudos: 944





	1. Kings

**Author's Note:**

> Warning's will be posted on a chapter by chapter basis, this way you know what to expect from each page. I decided to hop on the time travel band wagon, but with my own flair added in. This story will more than likely be very different from the stereotypical time travel plots, in the fandom, you have read before, but I still hope you'll enjoy it and give it a chance. I am a fan of long chapters, and slow burn, so viewers be warned haha. That being said, still expect some hot and steamy action later on. ;) 
> 
> Additionally, the title of each chapter will be the song from which the quote at the beginning of each chapter comes from. Just to clear up any confusion. 
> 
> This first chapter is going to be an emotional roller coaster, so reader's be warned. 
> 
> **WARNINGS: Temporary Character death, implications of mental health problems (PTSD, depression), violence.** 
> 
> I think that's about it for this first chapter's warnings. So without further delay, please enjoy the story, and please comment down below to let me know what you think. ^^
> 
> -A

“I’ve been through the darkest of caves and suffered

One-hundred steps off the end of the road. 

Painted with passion my favorite color

Hope I’m alive when the story gets old.”

Hero’s Don’t Cry

Cloud laid on his back in the heated, dry dirt on the outskirts of what used to be Midgar. The sun heated his skin, causing tiny beads of sweat to trickle off his toned form. Tsurugi, lying next to him like a longtime friend, could be felt against his fingertips. The metal was smooth, and slightly chilled despite the heat of day. His thick lashes were fanned across his cheeks, for if he opened his eyes, the glow of the cloudless sky would sting his enhanced vision. 

On the outside, Cloud appeared to be a calm and composed young man, simply seeking relief after a long day. Even when he wasn’t at rest, people often took him as someone completely skilled in the action of level headedness. Something as mundane as fear, or sadness, was beneath a great hero like Cloud Strife. A man who had looked down the long blade of death more times in a single decade, than anyone else would in a lifetime. A man who had single handedly been able to defeat the return of Sephiroth’s malevolence, over and over. 

What they wouldn’t see, was a man who had never gotten the chance to realize his own dreams, in pursuit of fulfilling those of another. A man who had lost his home, his mother, his best friend, and even his most cherished memories. A man who had looked death in the face so many times, that he had secretly wondered what its blade would feel like, sinking into the flesh of his chest. A man who had brought Sephiroth to his knees on so many occasions, that he’d begun to wonder what he was even fighting for. But hero’s don’t cry, right? They don’t leave behind the people who need them, even if it costs them their sanity -- their humanity. They don’t feel afraid, because they are the ones that the nightmares should fear. They can’t feel cold, because they are the thing that warms the wounded hearts of those around them. And they can’t feel regret, because the life of a hero is filled with honor and respect, what more could they ever want? 

Every young man wished to be a hero at some point. They wanted the glory, the adoration, and the power. What they didn’t understand was the universe’s demands, for with every positive, comes a negative of equal or greater power. 

When one achieves glory, they also must learn to live with the words of those who will always demand more. Your life is no longer your own, and you are nothing but a tool of the people, of whom would ask for the very skin off your back to stave off a cold wind. 

When one receives adoration, they must learn to live with the loneliness that comes from a life of conflict. The people who adore you, will never feel they have the right to approach a man so far from the ground. Then the only time you can feel close to another, is when the two of you are facing on a battlefield of blood and bone. Each echo of metal clashing is like a hug that provides the slightest relief. It’s fleeting, and more addictive than any drug in creation. 

Power is the worst… When one receives the power to take, they must suffer with the consequences that demand something in return. Every scream echoed in his ears at night, and the mako in his veins burned hotter than fire on some days. One cannot simply receive the power to knock down their enemies, one after the other, and not feel the ache in their own chest. Over time, a person even loses their ability to see color. The world becomes monochromatic hues of grey, save for a single shade. Red. 

Cloud’s eyes fluttered as the warmth faded in the shadow of something loud moving ahead. The helicopter whired, letting him know it was time to get up and move. The aged metal glinted as it moved further away, no doubt carrying a few troublesome guests. A deep sigh fell past Cloud’s dry lips, before he lifted Tsurugi off the ground, and swung it to rest gently against his back. He was on much better terms with Reno and Rude than he had been in the past. Though, the red headed man still liked to push every one of the buttons that was Cloud’s patience. Rude, in comparison, was much easier to deal with, but even he could be annoying in the wrong circumstances. 

Tseng tended to keep his distance, along with Rufus, who, although desiring to atone for Shinra’s sins, still preferred to keep off the field. Tseng, on the other hand, simply didn’t care much for the blonde sword wielder, often referring to Cloud as “unrefined.” 

Cloud, personally, couldn’t care less if those two graced him with their presence -- the less people, the better. 

Each step in the thick dirt kicked up plumes of dust, which tickled Cloud’s nose and heavily filled his lungs. Edge was soon in view, the helicopter that had flown over him not too long ago rested on the outskirts of the newly built city. He didn’t bother checking the inside of the aircraft, knowing full well where the two Turks were headed. 

The newly built seventh heaven served as many things for Cloud, and his remaining teammates. It was his home, a safe haven for those who needed it, and the place he knew he could always return to, even after his long travels. 

“Yo! Cloud, how you been? Rude and I saw you laying around a little ways out, but we figured you were either sleeping or dead, and didn’t bother landing.” Came Reno’s overly cheerful greeting, as he hooked a heavy arm around the blonde’s shoulders. 

Cloud stiffened in the hold, grunting a bit at the over familiar actions that he’d never get used to. Even if he and the redhead had known each other for a while now, and were no longer enemies, Cloud still wasn’t too keen on physical interaction. 

“You need something,” Cloud stated the obvious, no question to be found in his voice. Old habits die hard, and he knew the only time the Turks reached out to him, of all people, was when they required his help. 

Reno finally stepped back, to Cloud’s relief, arching a well-groomed brow in his direction. 

“Oh, I’ve been good too, thanks for askin’” Reno called out Cloud on his complete avoidance of “normal” human conversation, whatever that may be. 

“Just tell me what Rufus wants, Reno, I really don’t feel like playing your games today.” Was Cloud’s gruff reply, as he walked behind the bar counter to poor himself a drink. 

SOLDIER third’s, and even second’s, generally could still get drunk, though it would take them more time than the average person. With the ridiculous levels of mako in his veins, Cloud was lucky to get a buzz from an entire bottle of hard liquor. Even knowing this, he still enjoyed the burn of a good drink, slipping down his throat like liquid heat. It was comforting, and vaguely unnerving all the same. 

Reno looked about ready to throw one of his typical tantrums, where he’d somehow manage to connect Cloud’s antisocial behavior to something completely irrelevant. Rude, however, spoke up before his partner could do any more damage. 

“The population of monster’s and old, rogue Shinra tech is growing in the ruins of Midgar.” The man stated, pushing his sunglasses a little further up on his face when they seemed to start slipping. 

“There’s always been those things crawling around Midgar, even before it became a wasteland. Why is it such a problem now if no one even lives there anymore?” Cloud asked, grimacing a little when he swallowed a particularly large mouthful of bourbon. 

“It wasn’t a problem, not until recently, that is. Some patrol units have noticed their increased numbers have caused them to stray outside of the wreckage. In time, if left the way things are, they could find their way to Edge…”

“Best to be rid of them before they can cause a bigger problem here, ya’know” Reno finished, cutting Rude off. 

Cloud glanced at an old wall clock off to the side, noticing how the ticking chimed with the rhythm of his steady heart. Flashes of Zack’s smiling face obscured his vision.

“Time is a precious thing to a SOLDIER, Cloud. We never know if we’ll wake up one day, unaware of it being our last. Each second our hearts continue to beat, is another second we get to do some real good in the world.” Zack explained to a young Cloud, who sat against a rock formation, sipping from his canteen. 

“I don’t think there is anything out there that Could shut you up.” Cloud joked, unwilling to believe Zack could one day run out of the time he so cherished. 

Zack tilted his head back in an exaggerated bout of laughter. 

“You’re probably right, but even so… I don’t fear dying, it's a part of living after all. What I fear is dying without making a difference -- without putting some good into this messed up world. Which is why I’m going to tell you what my predecessor taught me” Zack finished tending to his sword, placing it on his back so he could turn to face Cloud. The raven gave him a sideways grin, placing a heavy hand on the tufts of blonde hair. “If you want to be the good you wish to see in the world, to be a hero, you have to have dreams, and honor.” 

The memory faded, as the clock on the wall became clear in Cloud’s vision once more. A puff of gentle, choked laughter, not audible to normal ears, escaped his lips. He had never really had dreams, nor honor, that belonged solely to himself. That piece inside him that longed to do good by the people around him was, no doubt, the remnants he still held of his deceased friend. 

Before his company could start berating him on the “importance” of the job they wanted done, Cloud turned his gaze away from the clock, and faced the two men. 

“Is your team not capable of taking out a few low-level daemons? Why is this something you need me to do? Hell, even a couple of the guys on watch are more than capable enough to hold their own. I’m not a pawn at Rufus’s beck and call, and I’m certainly not yours.” The warning was clear in Cloud’s voice, as he dared them to think they could use him to do the work they were too lazy to accomplish. 

Reno’s face contorted into that childish glimmer of anger, as he stepped forwards and prepared to lecture the blonde. He was once again cut off by Rude, who extended his arm out to stop the red head’s pursuit, his gaze never leaving Cloud.

“Rufus may have sent us here, but we are asking this of you, personally. Reno and myself will be there as well, but it would get done significantly faster if the three of us split the work, and would prevent civilian casualties. While I have no doubt the watch could do well enough, I’d rather not leave such a detail oriented task in their hands. If you won’t help, then Reno and I can take care of it just fine on our own.” 

Cloud looked down at his, now empty, cup, suppressing the agitated sigh that threatened to spill from him. He adjusted the strap across his chest, which was keeping his shoulder guard firmly secured. The garment felt too suffocating right now, as he wavered under the intense scrutiny of the Turks. 

What Rude had said made sense. The job would definitely get done faster with his help, and ensure that it could be finished before any of the creatures attacked a civilian. Though he didn’t mention it, Cloud had actually stopped a few rampaging Wrath Hounds and Wererats from breaking through the edges of the ruins. He’d just hoped he could avoid going back in anytime soon. 

“1,000 gil.” Cloud resigned, naming his price if the two men wanted his help. 

“Done” was Rude’s swift reply. 

He jotted down a quick note for Tifa, letting her know not to let Denzel wait up for him, since he’d probably be out late tonight. The boy had grown quite fond of Cloud, and always wanted to be around him. In good conscience, the blonde could not allow a kid to travel with him without proper training. Though Denzel had asked, time and time again, if Cloud would teach him some stuff, the ex-SOLDIER had always been hesitant. The boy should be allowed the chance to be a kid, even if just for a short while. Now that Geostigma was no longer a constant weight in their minds, Denzel finally had that opportunity, and Cloud couldn’t be the one to take it away. He knew all too well once the battle’s started, even if just practice fights with dull swords, they’d never end. Not to mention, Cloud wasn’t exactly known for his patience with children, if his awkward interactions with Denzel and Marlene were any indication. 

He mounted Fenrir as Reno and Rude made their way back to their helicopter. Normally, he’d have demanded more time to prepare, but the blonde hadn’t really done any exhausting, or physically straining activity that day. Still, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to be a bit bitter about leaving so suddenly for an extermination, that wasn’t even his responsibility to begin with. 

Fenrir’s engine roared to life, and Cloud relished in the soft vibrations and gentle puring of one of the few things he still valued. The bike was in peak condition, and ready to handle any battle that he may find himself in. He kicked the stand up, and was probably a little flashier than he had to be as he revved the engine and hit the gas. His heart hammered in his chest with the strong purr of the engine, giving him a shot of both adrenaline and pure contentment. Each aggressive swing he made to dodge rock formations and cacti in the expansive planes of dust and sand helped to satiate his constantly troubled mind. The more he had to focus on the road ahead, the less time he would spend getting lost in his waking nightmares. The wind whipping his spiked hair caused little tendrils to tickle his cheeks. It was cool, and refreshing all the same. This was the closest Cloud got to true freedom, and he always relished in it. 

The ride there was relatively uneventful, and try as he might to stay distracted with the difficult terrain, he had traced it so many times that he could traverse it on memory alone. As consciousness faded, and memory took over, Cloud could hear the voiced memory of the last person he’d want in his head. 

Sephiroth hovered in the air above a wounded Cloud, who strained to hide the way his body shuddered with pain and coughs he refused to release. As a sharp jolt went through his abdomen, his eyes squinted tightly shut. Like an erupting volcano, the streams of red trailed down his chin, and speckled the ground beneath him. 

Red

Red

Red

Why is everything always stained in shades of sickening crimson: When he closed his eyes, when he stared at the setting sun… when he looked at his hands. Everything was always coated in a thick layer of the gag-inducing shade. 

“Do you hurt Cloud? Is it unbearable?” Sephiroth’s voice filled his ears, and before Cloud could react, the one-winged angel was right before him with his blade pointed right at his opponent's jugular. 

His green, demonic eyes gleamed dangerously at the point in Cloud’s neck where his pulse pounded under the skin. The blonde held back a shiver as the cold sting of the metal caressed along the length of the artery, tracing up higher and higher. His head was forced up by the bite of the pointed edge, Sephiroth ensuring Cloud’s gaze met his own by resting the lethal end of the weapon on his tensed jaw. 

“I could take the pain away, end it all for you, my pretty puppet. Is that what you want?”

Yes

“Go to hell, Sephiroth” he bit out between grinding teeth, blood spewing from his lips when he spoke the demon’s name. 

The silver-haired general smirked wickedly, baring his impossibly white teeth at the crumpled form of Cloud. “Are you sure that’s what you want? I could end it quickly, no more pain, no more suffering. One swipe of my blade, and you can finally sleep. Are you sure you wish you continue this pointless fighting?” 

No

“If anyone is going to be going to sleep for good today, it’s going to be you.” Came Cloud’s reply, as he mustered all of the strength in his exhausted body to swing his sword and knock Sephiroth’s out of the way. 

The ring of metal on metal sang in his ears, and his vision skewed and swayed as he made his best attempt at standing. Once he was sure he wouldn’t fall back to the ground, he fixed his stance into one that said he was ready for battle. 

Sephiroth clicked his tongue in agitation, his face remaining as mocking as every when he regarded Cloud. He began walking in slow circles around the blonde’s smaller form, making no more to attack, but ensuring the threat was still there. “You’re problem, Cloud Strife,” he purred “is that you don’t know when to quit. For whom do you fight for? Because I can tell it surely isn’t for yourself.” Suddenly, the deep voice was an all too shocking, and cruel whisper in his ear. “A true SOLDIER, knows when to quit -- knows when to let go. So tell me ‘ex-SOLDIER Strife,’ when will you give in?” 

I don’t know

“When you’re dead!” Cloud shouted, growling through the fury of emotions that could only be brought on by his greatest enemy. And as Sephiroth finally made a move to charge at Cloud’s back, the blonde was already recovered enough to continue on. 

The memory faded with the glint of his sword in the bright sun. His vision now focussed on the ruins of midgar coming into his field of vision. 

Reno and Rude had already landed, the redhead leaning lazily against the side of the chopper, and his stoic partner standing stiffly with his arms crossed. Cloud took notice that he was still moving at full speed, despite how rapidly he was nearing the two men. With a grunt of strain, he hit the brakes on Fenrir, feeling the muscles in his stomach tighten reflexively to keep him from flipping over the handlebars. 

A cloud of dust shot up from the wheels as he kicked the bike sideways and came to a sharp stop. Reno’s hands shot up to cover his face as the rubble and sand flew up and coated him in a thin layer of dirt. 

When Cloud cut his bike’s engine, the first thing he heard was the loud, aggressive voice of the turk yelling about his clothes getting all dirty. 

“If that little bit of dirt is a problem, then it’s no wonder you need my help today, Reno. Are you sure you aren’t out of practice?” Cloud snidely asked, though his voice sounded as impassive as ever. 

The redhead growled at the ex-SOLDIER, but whatever comeback he may have prepared was quickly forgotten when a shrill screech rose up from the ruins. The damaged buildings shook, and a couple of the more unstable one’s crumpled even further. 

“We’ve got a job we came here to do, you two can go at each other’s throats as long as you want, AFTER we’ve completed our objective.” Rude quickly took charge of the situation, establishing himself as the undeclared leader. 

Cloud really couldn’t care less, as he had no intention of sticking by their side like a kid with his parent’s, and every intention of getting this done quickly. 

“Tell that to blondie, he’s always the one startin’ shit.” Reno defended himself, much to Rude’s chagrin. 

Cloud, completely ignoring the two men, had already begun walking into what remained of a once grand city. Grand, as in it truly was a marvel of architecture and sheer size, but not great. Great referred to something good, and even now, Cloud could still feel the whispers of corruption that ran through the vein-like streets. It was the kind of wound that couldn’t be healed until the dead flesh was cut away, and the city was completely wiped from view and memory. It was seething, and disgusting, and right now, it was his job to help erase some of that infection. 

One at a time, he knocked down multiple rogue machines, daemons, and monsters. None of them posed a challenge, and were mostly one hit kills; hardly even worth his time. He wished for just one monster to give him a rough time -- to allow him to forget, and fill that hunger that never, ever went away. His muscles burned as he pushed himself harder and harder, cutting down his enemies in two’s and threes. The ache was welcomed, revered, and desperately needed. 

Before he even realized that his body count was already souring in the mid hundreds, he had reached the source of infection. It was the very center of the wound, where the flesh-eating poison had first been introduced. The center of Midgar held the old, weathering tower of what used to be the Shinra building. Just looking at it left a bitter taste on Cloud’s tongue, for it was where he made the bonds he would suffer losing. It was where his dream died like a flame doused in water, and where his suffering began. If he could, he would gladly summon another meteor to finish the job and completely flatten the remnants into dust. 

Just as he was about to turn his back on the building, he could feel the tell tale signs of an incoming attack to his right. The familiar shift in air, and small movements telling him to dodge out of the way. He landed perfectly on his feet, and out of harm’s reach, just as a powerful blow splintered the ground where he’d been standing. He hardly flinched as rubble and debris was kicked up through the air. As the shroud of rotten-smelling dust cleared, he came face to face with just the type of fight he’d been hoping for all day. 

The Zolom was tall, it’s serpent-like head rising at least twenty feet off the ground. It’s fangs dripped with saliva and venom as its cold eyes regarded Cloud with malicious intent. It’s forked tongue twisted out of its mouth like a wriggling, pink worm when it let out a bone-chilling hiss. Instead of feeling fear, all Cloud could feel was the rush of excitement that shook him to his core and extended him the gift he’d been praying for. His mouth upturned in the corner, as he took the blades of First Tsurugi from the holster, and connected them one at a time. When the sword was whole, he gripped it tightly before his body, enjoying the way the handle bit into his calloused hands. 

“If you want me so bad, then let’s go.” He challenged, before taking off in the only clear path he had available to him, right into the Shinra building. 

The Zolom lunged, crying out in fury when it missed Cloud and it’s head slammed right into the metal wall of the structure’s entrance. Cloud bounded up the unstable stairs, searching for an area that was steady and large enough to really get the battle going. A shout of surprise escaped his lips when a step collapsed under his weight. He grunted in pain as all of his weight pulled sharply on his shoulder when he caught himself on the chipped handrail. He ground his teeth together and surged all of his strength to swing himself up onto the next set of stairs. He barely missed the jaws of the Zolom when it struck, and destroyed the remaining steps he had just been on. 

The walls shook with the force of their skirmish, rocks and old paint falling like black, heavy rain and obscuring Cloud’s vision. 

“Stay on your feet cadet!” Zack’s voice rose up from his memories once more, the advice pushing him forwards when he skidded across the floor. He quickly righted himself, stumbling slightly as he made for the next flight of stairs. 

“It’s okay to be afraid, as long as you don’t let those fears control you.” Another lesson he’d had ingrained in his head, coming forwards when he felt that slight pang of fear niggling at the back of his consciousness. 

His fears were soon forgotten, being pushed down as far as he could get them. He wasn’t afraid, Cloud Strife had nothing left in this world to fear. 

The Zoloms jaws snapped right next to his head as he bounded through the the door at the top of the final set of stairs. On top of the building, he could see the weathered paint of the old helicopter pads, and smell the musty air of old pollution carried by the breeze. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. He felt the puff of wind caused by the serpent bursting through after him. He saw his reflection in old metal plates, reminding him of how inhumane he truly was. He was hardly different from the Zolom, in fact, he’d probably killed more people and creatures than it would in its entire life. 

His heart pounded, and he could no longer bear to look at his own figure in the reflective surface.

His body turned. 

One

His left foot planted firmly out in front of him, shadowed by his right falling behind in a balanced stance. 

Two

He brought his sword up before him, never once opening his eyes as he tried to ignore his own reflection in the weapon. 

Three…

He settled a sharp glare on the hissing beast before him, just barely managing to slice a deep wound into its slim neck. 

“Why keep fighting?” Sephiroth’s voice bubbled up much like Zack’s had. 

He took a step back as the Zolom raged, and struck forwards. 

“Wouldn’t it be so nice to let go?” 

Another step back, his resolve wavering as he began to lose balance. 

“Close your eyes Cloud…” Sephiroth’s voice faded out, echoing quietly.

His lids fell closed -- another step back. 

“I’ll catch you when you fall.” Zack’s voice finished, gentle, and soft. 

With the last step, Cloud toppled over the edge of the roof. He could feel the power of his decent beating at his body as he continued to pick up momentum. Daring to open his eyes for a split second, the scenery was astonishingly beautiful. The sun had begun to set, and he could see miles out into the desert. He could even see Edge, and all manner of creatures roaming the sandy planes. He felt weightless, and free. Nothing could reach him here, falling through the air, as the wind cradled his head like a mother does her child. His eyes began to fall shut once more, because he knew this moment would only be that -- a brief moment. It was the best thing he’d ever felt, and the last thing he’d ever feel. And even as he saw red behind his closed lids, when he finally hit the ground, he saw something he hadn’t seen in a while.

Pure white. 

There was no pain, no sound, and no fear. 

Just as soon as the cold hug of the breeze left him, he was overwhelmed with the warm embrace of thin arms wrapping around him. The scent of wild-flowers filled his senses, making him sigh contentedly. 

Aerith

He tried to speak, but it was like he was frozen in time, unable to move his lips, or any part of his body for that matter. 

“Shh. It’s going to be okay, Cloud. That which has been taken, can always be restored, better than it was before.” Aerith’s voice was how he remembered it, smooth, silky, and full of care. She hummed to him, a gentle tune that made him feel young, and relaxed, like the soft dings of a wind chime in the summer. 

He had so many things he wanted to say, so many questions he wanted to ask, but he remained frozen like a forgotten timepiece. And just as soon as Aerith’s soothing embrace, and kind voice had entered his senses, it left. He felt suffocated, as the white around him slowly faded from pure white, to harsh darkness. It was the deepest and most consuming shade of black he’d ever witnessed, and as it swallowed him, he began to lose all manner of consciousness. 

Little by little, he withered away. He had no fear to give, and no tears to shed, but that’s okay, because hero’s don’t cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Link to my twitter: https://twitter.com/AiyaniF  
> Link to my Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aiyanifleet/
> 
> On twitter, I will more than likely be posting about upcoming projects, art, etc. Feel free to send me your oneshot and story prompt requests, as well as art, and any questions you may have.
> 
> Thanks!


	2. Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud wakes up in the desert.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNINGS: mild violence, and non-consensual drug use**

“I can see the scars

And the chains ‘round your neck

All these shadows taunting you

I can feel your heart

And the urge to stop beating

Just hold on

We’ll make it through”

………………………………...

Cloud’s whole body spasmed as his back arched up off the ground. He tried to breathe, the overpowering urge to inflate his starved lungs taking over his entire being. It was primal, and desperate, but even as he tried to move his chest, it almost felt like there was something sitting on top of him. Slowly, light began to shine anew behind his tightly shut lids. The intensity of it burned his skin, making sweat instantly coat his body, and cause his clothes to stick to him. 

He felt his eyes roll into the back of his head, the lack of oxygen threatening to make him pass out all over again. Just as he was about to give back into the darkness, he surged forwards, taking in heavy lung-fulls of fresh air. His vision was blurry, overpoweringly obscured by blinding light, as he rolled over onto his stomach and coughed. Grains of sand stuck to his tongue, making the blonde feel parched. He curled his right leg up under himself, feeling it press comfortingly into his abdomen as he gagged. 

It felt like he’d just gone through three rounds with Sephiroth, and gotten a full force kick to the stomach. His muscles ached, and he desperately craved the cold caress of his box fan back home, along with a tall glass of ice water.

Blinking rapidly against the sting produced by the specs of dust that had made their way into his eyes, he tried his best to clear his vision enough to gauge his surroundings. Rocks beneath him dug into his flesh, leaving indents and small cuts. His arms drug against the ground as he attempted to pull them under his body, and gain leverage enough to push up. 

His head pounded, making him feel like there was a tiny bass drum pressing against his skull. Each attempt he made to rise up from the ground, saw his arms shuddering with strain, and his body collapsing. He felt like an infant, just learning how to crawl, and it infuriated him to the point that rage became his sole source of energy. 

Get up…

Get up.

GET UP!

With a growl, rivaling any of Barrett's outbursts, he slammed his fists into the shifting sand, managing to rise to his hands and knees. His breath came out in sharp, short pants, causing coughs to shudder through his form from the dryness. His head finally raised up, the urge to squint still making it hard to map out where exactly he was. However, vision wasn’t the only sense one relied on. 

Touch 

Soft sand, dry heat, jagged rocks. 

Taste

Dirt, earthy debris, and peppered minerals. 

Sound

Wind; strong and fierce, carrying not a single trace of water in it. 

Scent

Spiced, and musty smells that came with the overwhelming temperatures. 

He’d recognize these characteristics anywhere, and even without sight, he instantly knew he was in the desert plains that surrounded Midgar’s remains. There was no telling how long he’d been laying out here, but even just an hour of under the sun, without water to keep hydrated, could mean a death sentence. 

Judging from the way his tongue stuck disgustingly against the roof of his mouth, and the feel of sunburn itching his exposed skin, he’d say he was in trouble. How did he even get out here in the first place?

His memory had never been all too reliable, but he should still be able to at least remember the last thing he did -- the series of events that led up to him laying, exposed, in the desert. Suddenly, a sharp pang went through his head, causing white, hot flashes to explode like fireworks behind his eyes. He needed to get up now. If he wasted what little time and energy he had left, then Cloud knew he would collapse again, and that would be it. Enhanced or not, he was still human, and not immune to death by dehydration. 

He could do this, it was a simple thing. All he had to do was get on his feet, and take things one step at a time. He sat back on his legs, resting his right forearm on the top of his right leg. With a grunt, he planted his left foot firmly beneath him, and pushed up. Once he was standing, he held his arms out stiffly at his sides, making sure he wouldn’t tumble back down from the way his head was spinning. Sweat trickled in thin rivers down his face, his chest heaving with the strain. The hardest part was over, now all he had to do was make himself move, one foot before the other. 

His vision was finally beginning to clear up, and he used the newfound advantage to search the ground around him for his sword. His heart thrummed uncomfortably in his chest when he turned circles and found the weapon was nowhere to be seen. Had he been jumped? Did someone knock him out, and take his gear? No, that wasn’t possible. There was no one left on Gaia who could accomplish something like that, unless Cloud himself was already severely injured. So, how in the hell did he manage to lose the one thing he always made sure to keep glued to his side? 

The questions were piling up like a terrible collection in the blonde’s mind. He clumsily brought his hands up to ruffle his clothing, taking inventory of what exactly he did have. The few materia he always kept on his person were missing as well. He reached to caress the sides of his combat boots, where the dagger he usually holstered there was nowhere to be seen. His pockets were empty, no ID, no money, no means of defense. 

When he got to his breast pocket, a quiet metal clink rang in his ears, letting him know there was something there. He reached two fingers in, and grasped the smooth object, pulling it out so he could examine it. Brilliant shades of gold and silver reflected off the surface of the small pendant that laid in his palm. It looked a lot like a high quality bengal; a golden halo, which had highly detailed feathers winding around it, carved out of a silvery material. No, not silver. When the light hit the piece at a certain angle, the feathers appeared to be obsidian in color. This was a metal similar to that of platinum. The whole thing was very detailed, intricate, and beautiful, expressing fine craftsmanship. 

So the one thing he actually had on his person, didn’t even belong to him. Was this some sort of gang tag? A means of leaving behind the thieve’s mark? That didn’t make much sense either, as the bengal seemed rather expensive -- not something that someone would just leave laying around, let alone in the pocket of the man they had robbed. Not to mention, although clearly masculine, the piece had a high class allure to it, that did not fit with the profile of a ruffian. This looked more like something he’d see gracing the wrist of Rufus Shinra, rather than someone seedy like the scoundrels lurking through Edge. 

Pressing his brows together in a confused grimace, he moved the bengal to one of the pockets on the inside of his modified SOLDIER shirt. It might fetch him a hefty price later on down the line, and with all of his money and resources missing, even a few gil could make a difference. The sweater-like material felt gross against his skin, but he had to push down the urge to take off a few layers of his heavy outfit. The last thing he needed was to be burnt all over his body, and if he were unfortunate enough to end up in an altercation, he’d have to rely on fists rather than his blade. Too much exposed skin was dangerous in a fight. He’d modified the uniform a long time ago, much like the SOLDIER first’s did back in the day. It was definitely more breathable than it had been once upon a time, but it was also all black, meaning it trapped heat like nothing else. 

Sighing deeply in irritation, Cloud covered his face with one arm, and looked up at the sky above. Based on the positions of the shadows, the sun was clearly on its way down, setting the time between three and five in the afternoon. He craved the shade and coolness brought on by the desert evening, however, without anything to defend himself with, it would be best if he found civilization before dusk. 

Not even knowing exactly where he was, meant his best bet was to just pick a direction and stick to it. He had to run into something eventually, at least, that was what Cloud hoped. Aside from Edge, there were plenty of small settlements and towns that neighbored them in this area. His town just happened to be the largest, as it was full of all the Midgarian survivors. 

His body felt like it weighed a thousand pounds, and every second felt like an hour with the slow pace he was moving at. Even so, some progress was better than none, which meant every painfully long step was a step closer to safety. As the sun started to get lower in the sky, the soft glow of Cloud’s eyes created emerald sparkles on the grains of sand in his path. In his weakened state, he could only be thankful for the mako in him, because he was sure he would have succumbed to exhaustion a long time ago without it. 

His head was slumped downward on his shoulders, and as more and more time passed by, he started to teeter with every movement. The side to side wobbling made his stomach churn, his head pounding even harder from dizziness. He couldn’t even tell if he was still moving straight anymore; for all he knew, he could be walking in circles. It was like he was a prisoner being paraded to his death, and all he could do was keep blindly stumbling ahead. 

His time was running out, and as the sun began to touch the horizon, his ears perked at a barely there humming in the distance. Even with it so far off, the blonde recognized it from memory as the sound of a motorcycle. More importantly though, it was the sound of his rescue, if the rider was willing to help. It wasn’t like he really had anything left on him to steal, other than the bangle, that didn’t even truly belong to him. He’d gladly trade it for a ride any day. His body moved on autopilot at this point, his legs still taking trembling steps forwards. Cloud’s lips twitched with an unspoken plea for help, as the sound of the growling engine grew nearer. 

He tried to stay standing -- tried to keep moving -- but his body just wouldn’t allow it. His legs gave one last quaking shudder, before they collapsed and Cloud fell to his knees. He was so drenched in sweat at this point, that he could probably take his shirt off and wring a whole puddle out of it. His face, and uncovered arm were so burnt, that simply blinking his eyes, or shifting his body caused sharp stings. His mouth was so unbelievably dry, that if he were to take a bite of food, the lack of moisture would cause it to get stuck in his throat. The small puffs of air going in and out of his lips were hardly even enough to inflate the lungs of an infant. He was completely, irrevocably exhausted, and his last hope rested with a stranger. 

The ground vibrated with the force of the bike, and Cloud had to cover his eyes from the bright headlight stopping a short way in front of him. 

They stopped. That was a good sign, wasn’t it? However, the blonde had no idea what their intentions could be. For all he knew, they could have the desire of harming him, rather than helping. He rounded his shoulders, trying to puff his chest and appear as intimidating as he could muster. The crowning jewel to pull it all together, was flashing his blue eyes, which glowed fiercely green with the mark of an ex-SOLDIER. If this person wanted to hurt him, they would at least hesitate when they saw who he was. That moment of hesitation might allow him to make his very best attempt at an escape.

The engine of the bike shut off, revealing the dark silhouette of a rider, whose features Cloud could not make out in his current state. He curled his lip back like a feral animal, ready to strike if one wrong move was made. 

“Hey man, are you alright? What are you doing wandering around out here, do you have a death wish?” The man asked, making Cloud freeze. 

He knew that voice… but where had he heard it? Was it someone from the watch? Or maybe another lapdog of Rufus?

His head swam with a wave of dizziness that passed through him, causing him to sway and lurch forwards a bit in his kneeling position. 

“Woah” The man exclaimed, swiftly stretching gloved hands out to try and catch Cloud. However, the second the stranger made contact with his body, he lashed out and shoved as hard as he could. He was beginning to feel confused, and disoriented, and he absolutely hated being touched carelessly. About the only people he allowed to get close enough for that anymore was Tifa, and the kids when they hugged him. Even touches from people he’d known for years made him want to heave and empty the contents of his stomach. Especially right now, when he was so obviously exposed, and at a disadvantage. 

“Okay…” The man trailed off, his voice raising a couple of octaves, and his own body seeming to take a defensive stance. “Okay, I understand, stranger danger and all… but you are hurt, you need medical attention, and I can’t help you if you don’t help me. I promise, I just want to get you to Midgar, where we have the proper resources.” 

Midgar? Did he just say he wanted to get Cloud to Midgar? 

Clearly this guy was not up to date with current events if he thought the city was still standing. There was no way in hell the blonde was about to let this lunatic take him anywhere. 

“W-water” Cloud stuttered out, reflexively licking his cracked lips, before continuing. “I just need water, please.” He pleaded. He could deal with the heat, and the sunburn, if only he could hydrate his body. After that, he’d find his own way. 

He could hear the shifting of the man’s boots in the sand, no words uttered for a solid moment, as though he were thinking. Finally, he heaved a sigh and moved back towards his bike. Was that it? Was he just going to leave Cloud here to die? 

The thoughts soon faded away when the man returned, holding a leather canteen within the range of Cloud’s bleary vision. The ex-SOLDIER reached an aggressively shaking hand out to grasp it, being careful not to let his fingers graze the stranger’s. The first drops of the cold liquid on his tongue felt like something holy. He couldn’t hold back the moan that escaped his lips as he greedily drank it down. Some of it escaped the corners of his mouth, dripping along his heated skin in soothing trails. 

“Look, you need more than just water, and I’m not about to let you sit out here until you get cooked by the sun, eaten by monsters, or both. So…” 

Cloud jumped when he felt a sharp pinprick in the side of his neck. Even if he’d just met this man, he couldn’t help the feeling of betrayal that consumed him. He dropped the canteen, which was swiftly caught by the skilled hands of the stranger. His own fingers traced the side of his neck, where he could feel the tiniest bit of swelling caused by the injection. 

“I’m really sorry.” the man finished, catching Cloud as his body began to tilt backwards. 

This reminded him too much of the time he’d spent in the labs in Shinra mansion. Panic surged through him in a concoction of chemicals, but his body had already gone completely limp. The stranger hoisted Cloud’s form up with ease; like the blonde weighed nothing. With his consciousness fading, he was able to get one good look at his captors face, but felt sure he must have seen things wrong. 

Because the man looked exactly like Zack Fair. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Cloud came to for the second time, he noticed how completely pain-free, comfortable, and relaxed he felt. His fingers twitched at his sides, as he took note of the way fabric slid under his touch. The surface he laid on was cushiony, supporting his weight with ease, but it wasn’t scratchy and stiff like the bed he’d grown used to laying on. This bed was clearly much nicer, and of a higher quality. Wherever he was, it carried a scent like soft cologne, -- not too strong, but still there -- cedar, the barest hint of something sweet, and a musky lingering that was inherently male. There was a familiarity to the smell that he couldn’t quite place, but he chalked it up to maybe having smelt the cologne on someone else before. His ears perked at the sound of an annoying beeping, which grew faster and more aggressive as his senses returned to him. There was the feeling of something cold in his arm, and it took him a moment to realize it was the icy chill of fluids pouring into his veins. The beeping sound suddenly shot up, the pace becoming so fast that an alarm went off. 

He tried to move, to get up and run away, but his body still wouldn’t respond to him enough to do anything but blink his eyes open. He took in the sight of a bedroom of sorts, plain with all black furniture: a dresser, single window, nightstand, and the bed he laid in. One look down at his arm confirmed his suspicion, and he stared scornfully where the needle of the IV disappeared under his skin. The beeping was revealed to be that of a heart monitor, connected to his bare chest. His uniform was nowhere in sight, and every minute he spent frozen in this gaia-forsaken bed, was another minute he grew even more panicked.

His breathing picked up when he could vaguely hear the sound of footsteps through a closed door, heading in his direction. Whatever the contents of the medicine dripping into his body, it was clearly making his muscles feel like jelly. Some sort of antipsychotic, or anesthetic, no doubt. He, of all people, had allowed himself to get fucking kidnapped. Oh how Sephiroth must be rolling with laughter in his grave. 

Suddenly, the door leading into the room he resided in opened, and his eyes sharply focussed on the man who walked in. He was tall, and held sturdy muscles that revealed years of hard training. His hair was dark, and spiked in the back, very similarly to how Cloud remembered Zack wore his. Though he looked intimidating, there was something calm, and almost meditative about his whole presence. At least, at the current time, the blonde sensed any malice or ill intent coming from him. Still, this man was an accomplice to his capture, and not to be trusted.

The man regarded him with clear curiosity, his eyes focussing strongly on the ex-SOLDIER’s own. And that was when Cloud realized it, this man’s eyes bore the distinct glow of someone who’d been enhanced with mako. Was he an ex-SOLDIER as well? As he walked closer, the blonde felt himself stiffen, telling him he was starting to regain control of his body. Still, he made no move to get up, or to say anything, trying to get a feel of the situation before he acted. 

The black-haired man leaned over Cloud, looming too close for his comfort, before placing an open palm on his forehead. The blonde suppressed a flinch at the contact, still feeling no hurtful intentions coming from his captor. 

“You still have a bit of a fever, so it’s best if you rest up some more.” His voice was deep, and authoritative, reminding Cloud of how a father’s voice might sound. 

When the hand made a move to brush his hair from his face, he could no longer contain his instincts, which forced him to grasp the man’s wrist in a deadly grip. A frown marred his rustic features, the raven’s posture obviously stiffening at the unspoken threat. 

“I’ll ask nicely, as I’m sure you are very confused right now. Please let go of my arm, and I’ll take my hand off your head.” The words were calm, and smooth, but the hint of warning did not go undetected. 

Hesitantly, Cloud pried his fingers off his captor’s arm, who followed through with his promise and removed his hand from the blonde’s head. 

“Who the hell are you?” Cloud spat, pouring every ounce of venom he could manage into his words. 

Despite his rude behavior, the man’s lips lips quirked up slightly at the question. 

“My name is Angeal. You were brought here a couple days ago by a man named Zack. He had some things to tend to, so you have been left in my care for the time being. Can you remember anything?” 

Cloud’s whole body felt cold, causing a shiver to trace up his spine. Zack was a common name, right? It was just a coincidence. He set his jaw tightly, taking his gaze from the duvet covering his body, back up to glare darkly at Angeal. 

“I remember being drugged, and taken against my will, if that’s what you were wondering?” Truthfully, that’s all he could remember. He’d seen a motorcycle in the distance, had been offered some water, and then had a needle jabbed into the side of his neck. 

Angeal’s face revealed nothing of his inner thoughts, his mouth set in a firm line as he looked Cloud over. The blonde began to feel a bit uncomfortable under the scrutiny, but made no moves to reveal that discomfort. After a long moment of silence, Angeal finally made a move to straighten back up to his full height. 

“From what I was told, Zack was simply trying to help you, and all you seemed to do was shove him away. The only creature more idiodic than one who puts himself in harm's way, is one that won’t accept help from others after doing so.” 

The insult left a bitter taste in Cloud’s mouth, and the blonde shot forwards in the bed. 

“Whatever, you can keep your opinions, but I’m leaving this fucking place.” He growled, preparing to rip the IV line from his arm. 

He didn’t get far, however, when Angeal placed a strong hand on his chest and forced him to lay back down in the bed. 

“No, you’re still healing, and there are a lot of curiosities swarming around you right now. Zack was kind enough to take you in, and allow you to get better, but even he can’t protect you if you try to walk out. Personally, I don’t care much about what happens to a rude little thing like you, but it would hurt him, so your wellbeing has become my concern as well.” Angeal lectured, bearing down hard on Cloud as the younger gripped the offending appendage. 

The blonde’s strength still hadn’t returned to him, and he doubted he could take the enhanced man on right now, especially with the drugs coursing through him. 

“Curiosities? What the hell are you going on about!? My name is Cloud Strife, I’m an ex-SOLDIER from Edge, and all I want to do is mind my own business, and be on my way. So if you could kindly let me go, then I’ll get out of your hair!” He shouted at the top of his lung, the composure he usually made sure to keep finally shattering from the stress of his situation. 

“Ex-SOLDIER?” Angeal quizzed, one brow quirking up in disbelief. “I think if you were an ex-SOLDIER, I would have recognized you by now. Sephiroth surely would have if I hadn’t, so why is it he said that he’s never seen your face before? We’ve been through practically every SOLDIER, and every database, and all have come back negative for your profile.” Angeal, kept one hand on Cloud’s squirming chest, fiddling with the IV bag a ways away, and turning up the drip. “So, tell me, Cloud Strife, how could you be so strongly enhanced, when not a single soul in Shinra seems to recognize your face?” 

Frustrated, afraid, and above all else, completely confused, Cloud resorted to swinging a fist in Angeal’s direction. The raven caught the blow before it could reach him, aggravation beginning to show on his face. 

“You are all CRAZY! Midgar? Sephiroth? Shinra? SOLDIER? None of those things even exist anymore!” He rattled off all of the words that he’d heard more times in the past couple days, than he had heard in years. Was this some kind of cruel mind trick Rufus was trying to play on him? Break him down until he willingly eats out of the palm of the man’s hand? Whatever it was, it was messing with his head, and he really would go insane if he was forced to stay here. 

“Sleep, Cloud.” Angeal soothed, his voice sounding distant as Cloud’s consciousness began to slip away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for quote and title: Light by Nathan Wagner.


	3. Don't Let Me Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud plans his escape, and manages to get out of the apartment, until faces from his past threaten to make him lose control.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: Panic attack, mentions of drug usage, mild violence (but not really, just a bit at the end)**

“Where do we go when we walk on light

Who do we call at the edge of night

Carry me close like the teardrops in your eyes

All I can give you is memories 

Carry them with you and I’ll never leave

I’ll lay my head down

But when I lay my head down 

Don’t let me go”

\--------------------------------------------------------------

Over the next few days, Cloud tried his best to keep his patience. He didn’t utter a word to Angeal, who came in and out of the room to give him food. Each time, the raven tried to strike up a conversation, but Cloud ignored every attempt with stubborn indifference. He’d already revealed too much in his anger, going as far as to give his full name, and place of residence. He could only hope the information he’d let slip didn’t lead them back to Tifa and the kids. He’d never forgive himself if they were put in danger because he couldn’t hold his tongue. 

There was a good reason why the blonde talked less and less the more heated a conversation became. So long as he didn’t speak, he wouldn’t have the chance to slip out more in blind aggravation. His anger could be stifled, and recede eventually, but a slip of knowledge couldn’t be taken back, and ultimately could be used against him. 

Until he was sure of himself, and had a good grasp on his situation, he wouldn’t allow his mouth to open again. 

Despite his unwillingness to speak, his calm demeanor had gradually been rewarded by the reduction of whatever drugs they were feeding him. Of course, Cloud would never allow them to know that whenever Angeal brought him a drink, he would secretly unhook the IV line from his arm, and allow the contents of the bag drip into the cup. The medicine was clear, so even if the man brought him water, he could still complete the action without arousing suspicion. 

Normally, he would have just stopped the flow of the fluids completely, but if Angeal was an ex-SOLDIER like Cloud inferred he was, then he’d notice the passed time and contents of the bag didn’t match up. It was better to be safe than sorry, though he’d really prefer not to keep pulling the needle in and out of his veins. 

Even if the medicine was only cut off for short increments of time -- thirty minutes, give or take -- it allowed him to clear his mind enough to gather his thoughts. The constant drip kept his brain fuzzy, and his body weak. The primal side of him, which hungered for combat and movement, festered impatiently with each passing hour. One could say patience was both one of Cloud’s greatest strengths, and greatest weaknesses. So long as he was distracted, and on his toes, he could be as patient as they came. However, take away his ability to keep his mind and body busy, and his patience slowly weathered him down into a mess of nerves and short temper. 

In order to keep himself from losing what little control still remained, he’d taken to quiet sessions of deep meditation. He knew Angeal came in every day, always at the same exact times, to deliver his meals: a 9 AM breakfast, 1 PM lunch, and a 7 PM dinner. This revealed that he was clearly a man who kept well to a schedule, and more than likely hated tardiness. Because of this, the blonde was able to fix himself on a halfway decent schedule of his own. It wasn’t much in the way of completely soothing the stiffness out of his body, but it did help him in the sense that it forced him to focus on something other than the slow passage of time. With each delivered meal, he knew he had around ten minutes of Angeal trying to strike up a conversation, then thirty minutes free from his IV. Thirty minutes after his captor left the food, he’d come and collect the dishes. 

It was like clockwork, and though Cloud always kept an ear out to make sure the man wasn’t coming sooner than anticipated, he took comfort in the consistency. At the same time, it made him feel even more like the prisoner he knew he was. He hated confinement with every fiber of his being, freedom being something that Zack and he had both fought so hard for; the thing his best friend had lost his life for. 

Even in his hatred, he could feel himself regain more and more strength with each passing moment. The mako burned like liquid heat through his veins, revitalizing his weakened muscles, healing his burnt flesh, and strengthening his resolve. On his first day of imprisonment, he could hardly even crush an apple in his fist, but now, he felt he could crush ten, and still have the strength to knock down a stone wall. It would only be a short matter of time until the blonde was fully functioning again, and able to overpower Angeal. 

He’d gotten a taste of the other males strength, and knew his enhancements were nothing to take lightly. But with the right amounts of force, and planning, even the hardest opponents could be taken down. Additionally, he had the strong drive of anger, and desperation to back him up. He would not be stopped again, even if it took every ounce of willpower and strength in his body. 

Cloud glanced up at the digital clock on the dresser a little ways away, counting down the seconds until Angeal came through the door with his second meal. He vaguely wondered if the raven stood and stared at the clock, waiting until the precise moment to make his way down the hall. The creepy image produced in Cloud’s mind was unsettling, to say the least, and sent a shiver up his spine. He truly hoped that wasn’t the case, because there was a difference between keeping to a schedule, and being an obsessive weirdo. 

Only ten seconds after the clock struck 1 PM, the door to the small room he was contained in creaked open. Cloud had heard the soft thumps of the man’s feet hitting the floor on the way, and was already facing away from the feeling of his presence. He disliked having his back to the enemy, but if Angeal wanted to try something, he would have done so already. 

“Lunch, Cloud” He softly announced, his voice filling the silence that the blonde had grown too accustomed to. “I didn’t have much time today so I just made something simple, a sandwich and apple slices.”

Did he think Cloud was five? 

“Zack loves it when I cut the apple’s into the shape of rabbits, so I did it out of habit, I hope you don’t mind.” The plate clinked onto the nightstand as his captor set it down. 

The more that name was used, the more it caused Cloud’s whole body to stiffen from the uncomfortable memories that flooded him. Angeal couldn’t know about the blonde’s past, but it felt like he was intentionally uttering the name more and more lately, and it miffed Cloud. 

“Speaking of Zack, he should be returning today, I’m sure he’ll be happy to see you are awake and cognitive. I hope you’ll be kinder to him than you’ve been to me, he only wants to help. He could have allowed you to be locked up in a prisoner of war medical bay like others insisted on, but instead he allowed you to stay in his own home.” Though the voice was gentle, there was a slight bite to it that showed how much Angeal cared when it came to matters involving this Zack. 

Cloud spoke before he could even think to stop himself, turning his head slightly to regard Angeal with an expression devoid of any emotion. 

“Did you?” He asked, watching carefully as the man stilled in surprise over the realization that Cloud had actually spoken to him. 

He was quick to compose himself though, his eyes growing a bit softer, and to the blonde’s frustration, triumphant. He acted like Cloud voluntarily conversing with him was some big accomplishment on his part. 

“Did I what?” he countered the question with one of his own. 

“Insist I be treated like a prisoner of war?” Cloud clarified, trying his best to contain himself enough to not allow his aggravation to bleed into his words. 

It was Cloud’s turn to celebrate a victory when he’d clearly caught the raven off guard. Angeal cleared his throat, busying himself by picking up the pitcher of water he’d brought in, and pouring some of the contents into a blue-tinted glass. 

“I didn’t insist on that, but I did try to get Zack to second guess keeping you under his own roof.” He began, setting the pitcher back down on the nightstand after having filled Cloud’s glass up most of the way. “ But I knew before I even tried that it would be a useless attempt. When he’s made his mind up, you can see it in his eyes.” He paused, handing the glass over to Cloud, who hesitantly took it, and brought the edge to his lips. “You see, his eyes are very expressive. I can always seem to know exactly what he’s thinking, before he even compiles a sentence in his own head. Actually, he’s not too much unlike yourself in that sense.” 

This round definitely went to Angeal, the blonde conceded, as he coughed on the mouthful of water he’d just tried to swallow. 

Angeal huffed a subtle laugh, making no move to touch Cloud, thankfully respecting the boundaries his captive had set in place. He waited for him to stop coughing, before continuing to talk. 

“You know what I think, Cloud?”

Cloud twitched a bit at hearing his name, but refused to acknowledge Angeal after their short conversation had nearly drowned him in a cup of water. The raven didn’t seem to mind though, offering his opinion whether Cloud wanted to hear it or not. 

“I think you already knew that. It’s why, when you feel threatened, you don’t make eye contact, because you don’t want your enemy to see your insecurities.” Angeal leaned up against the dresser across from Cloud’s bed, crossing his arms over his chest, and tilting his head forwards to try and catch the blonde’s gaze. “But it’s also why when you’re angry, or passionate about something, you make unyielding eye contact. You want your enemy to see the resolve in you -- to be intimidated by you.” 

“And you’ve assumed this over the few days you’ve known me, and the two conversations we’ve had.” Cloud grumbled, further proving Angeal right by keeping his eyes glued to the wall next to him, like it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

Angeal shrugged, taking in a contemplative breath as he scratched at the side of his face. “You may think you’re smart by keeping quiet, but you should know body language can be even more expressive than physically speaking. Just watching the way you react to my words whenever I’ve tried to strike conversation before has been more than enough for me to get a good understanding of the type of man you are. You rely strongly on your own silence to keep from giving out too much information, until you’re composed enough to handle yourself. Despite trying to portray a stone-cold character, you are a man who runs highly on emotion.” Angeal’s head tilted the slightest bit, his perceptiveness and intense gaze making Cloud’s skin crawl. “The harder we try to act a certain way, the more our true image leaks out.”

Finally, the blonde met Angeal’s stare, the pressure to make eye contact being too hard to ignore. At that moment, he felt so picked apart -- so mentally violated -- that it almost felt like he abandoned his own personality entirely. He had no idea what kind of expression he bore, and the other man’s face gave no hints. 

“And if I told you you’re wrong?” Cloud asked, his voice unwavering and stern as he took to staring his captor down. 

The raven’s lips parted ever so slightly, and Cloud could barely make out the quietest hitch in his breath. A split second, unidentifiable emotion crossed Angeal’s features, disappearing almost as soon as it had been expressed. If he had any intention of responding to Cloud, the blonde never would have known. They were interrupted by the sound of a door opening and closing outside. The graceless entry was soon followed by a shout that echoed throughout the home. 

“Ang! I’m back!” 

Cloud recognized it as the same voice from the night he’d been drugged and brought here. He felt the confidence from a few seconds ago rapidly escaping him, making his form deflate exhaustedly like a balloon. His eyes tore away from Angeal’s, before he laid down and rolled over on his side, facing the wall. This was what he got for opening his mouth, he should have just kept to his silence, and none of this would have happened. 

“Please excuse me Cloud, if I ignore him, he might tear the house down. Once Zack is settled in, he’ll more than likely be taking over your care, but I’ll try to visit every now and again if you’re open to my company.”

Fuck off! Cloud wanted to spit back, but cut the words short by biting down on his tongue until he could taste the metallic tang of blood filling his mouth. 

He needed to stay calm, he needed to keep his composure. Angeal was clearly the type who was good at drawing people’s insecurities to the surface. Cloud would be damned if he was going to allow the man to use his own words against him. There was no point in getting worked up now; he should save this anger for later, when he’d need it to escape. Clearly there was more than one person here now, meaning the blonde would have to tread lightly. There was no guarantee that the other man was mako enhanced like Angeal and himself, but Cloud would rather be safe than sorry. If it came down to taking on two ex-SOLDIERS, he’d prefer not to allow himself to grow impatient. Impatience, after all, was the graveyard of delicate objectives. 

Instead of hanging onto the frustration of having to start all over again with his planning, Cloud pulled the thin needle of the IV out of his arm. He relished in the slightest sting of pain it brought him, but scoffed down at it once it was free from the confines of his skin. It was noticeably shorter, and thinner than any he’d ever been tethered to before. There were painstaking similarities between the needle resting in his palm, and the kind Tifa used to use on Denzel when he would grow ill from the pain brought by Geostigma. 

“A butterfly needle,” Cloud recognized. “They really do seem to think I’m a five year old.” He muttered grouchily, before tossing the line to the floor, without even bothering to place it in his cup this time. 

\-----------------------

The seconds ticked by, turning into minutes, before turning into hours. He waited, never planning to admit to how many times his eyes wandered over the glowing numbers on the clock. It was already twenty-three minutes past the time Angeal would normally bring in his last meal. Even if Cloud wasn’t particularly fond of human interaction, especially with his captors, he hated to say that the lonely silence filling his ears was tormenting. This whole situation in itself was torture for someone like him. Locked away with nothing but his own thoughts, in a dark room, unable to run, or fight. 

A thought suddenly dawned on him. If Angeal wasn’t bringing him his food, did that mean the man wasn’t here anymore? He’d made it perfectly clear that the home Cloud was being held in didn’t belong to him. The only reason he’d been staying here, was to take care of Cloud until the blonde’s kidnapper came back to take over. He might have a chance at sneaking out, if he was extremely careful. The mako in his body had made short work of destroying what was left of the drugs hours ago. He was fully alert and, from what he could tell, recovered to at least 75% of his full combat strength. Why wait for someone to come feed him like he was some caged animal, when he could take this opportunity to run. 

Slowly, being careful to not allow the springs on the bed to creak, he moved his body into a sitting position on the edge. The first touch of his feet on the cold floor caused a shiver to trace up his spine. His first order of business was to find something to wear; he did not prefer walking around in nothing but underwear. The ex-SOLDIER moved on cautious legs to the only other door in the room that he’d never seen open, and found it was indeed what he was hoping for. A closet. 

The clothes he’d arrived in were nowhere to be seen, but there were plenty of other items, only a bit larger than his own size. Cloud wasn’t too picky, opting for a plain black t-shirt, and a pair of grey sweatpants. He tightened the drawstring of the pants so that they fit snugly around his waist, before closing the door over gently. 

Now that he was dressed, all that was left was escaping the room, and escaping the house, all while going undetected. Piece of cake. His steps were slow, but sure, as he made sure not to step on any soft spots in the flooring, but moved fast enough that he didn’t waste time. He knew the door to the room creaked a bit when opened too much, so he needed to be cautious. 

Cloud gripped the cold metal handle, turning it to the right until he was sure the door could be opened. He released the handle, before opening the door just enough for him to squeeze his thin form through the opening. Once out in the hall, he made short work of closing the door back over, so that if anyone walked by, it wouldn’t appear that anything was off. 

The hall before him was short, and just as dark as his room had been. There were a few doors along the sides, no doubt leading to other areas of the house. He walked forwards, keeping his eyes and ears focussed for the slightest shift in shadows, or thunk of footsteps. Despite the vast number of missions he’d been on which required the highest level of stealth, none of them had made his heart beat this hard in his chest. He could hear it in his ears, and he found himself giving a silent prayer that his enemy wouldn’t hear it was well. 

As he got to the end of the hallway, he plastered his back against the wall, listening for any sounds that may signify there was someone around the corner. When he was satisfied with the long stretch of silence, he moved his head to peak ever so slightly into the next room. A breath Cloud hadn’t even known he was holding escaped his lips when he looked into a very empty sitting room. There was a large, grey couch, and two cushioned chairs in the shade of navy blue. A wooden table, cluttered with papers and folders was sitting before the furniture. The whole ensemble was comfortable and warm, yet sleek and modern. 

The blonde was about to move on, and look for the door that would lead him to his freedom, when something dawned upon him. The papers on the table could have information he needed, such as why he was being held, where, and by whom. Once back at Edge, he could put together a plan to get rid of these creepy bastards who thought kidnapping was okay. They messed with the wrong man, he’d make them remember that. 

After glancing left and right, making sure that there were still no signs of anyone nearby, he rushed over to the table. He knew the signs of important documents, and was able to separate those with no significance from those which might have something important contained. Cloud removed more than half of the stack, which included an old Wutain take out menu, sale’s magazines, and a few bills. Once he finished the whole process, he was left with three folders in front of him, one of which had a ‘classified’ stamp on the cover. 

His finger slipped along the edge of the first, leaving a papercut in its wake that Cloud ignored. He stuck the offended appendage in his mouth to lick away the blood, and used his other hand to flip through the pages. 

“Reactor maintenance… Wutai advances… Orders held off for the time being” He muttered through the first few pages, discarding it when he decided there would be nothing in here to help him. It appeared to be some type of old Shinra file, more than likely from back in the day when SOLDIER was still active. Cloud wondered why, or rather how, this person got a hold of old documents, but he’d already suspected his kidnapping had something to do with Rufus. Whatever the man was planning, he would find out soon enough. He folded up one paper pertaining to a breach in the labs, before shoving it into his pocket with little thought. 

The next folder he opened was immediately revealed to be what he was looking for. His picture, and results of medical examinations were printed on the first page. His teeth ground together at the thought of some guy coming in and examining while he was asleep, but it wasn’t like he could do anything about it now. 

“5’8” male, estimated to be around the age of 25, came in presenting with heat stroke, mild spinal swelling, and extreme dehydration. Patient is currently unresponsive, and based on the testimony given, has expressed signs of extreme mental instability, and potentially violent tendencies. IV drip has been started to help alleviate pain, ward infection, and calm any mental distress….” The medications they had him on were listed below, confirming they’d basically drugged him to high heaven. “...Higher dosage needed due to excessive mako in the patients system. Patient has presented with extremely elevated levels of mako, signifying he has been enhanced past the normal standards in SOLDIER. No signs of degradation, or mako poisoning showed up after testing. Further testing may be required….” 

Angered at just how much he had been violated while out of it, Cloud had to stop reading the medical notes before he put a crack in the polished table. He did note, however, with a sneer, that there were additional notes made all over the paper. The handwriting was clean, though clearly rushed, as if the person writing was trying to hurry and write the information out before they forgot. He recognized his name, as well as his diet, and a day by day analysis of his mental state. There was no doubt that these had been taken by Angeal in an effort to gain more information about him. 

“Fuck you Angeal” Cloud grumbled, before flipping through the next few pages. It was just full of medical garb, and baseless theories surrounding him. He froze on the last page though, and traced the emblem that sat at the top of the paper. 

‘Shinra Electric Power Company’ 

This didn’t make any sense. Just when he felt he was starting to understand things, something like this would happen and knock him back two steps. These documents were clearly current, and yet the old logo of Shinra was plastered on them. Was Rufus trying to reestablish the very company that had nearly destroyed them all? 

Cloud shook his head in frustration, tossing the folder to the other end of the table. The last file before him was the one that seemed to be the most important. Things didn’t just become classified for no reason, there had to be something in here to point him in the right direction. Maybe it would help him to figure out Rufus’s intentions. Cloud flipped the cover open, reading about what sounded like an assignment. 

“Sector 5 slums security breach type 28-B. Com systems have been temporarily shut down, President Shinra awaiting confirmation that the perpetrators have been apprehended. No casualties, or leaks of information have been reported at this time. Investigation to be handled by SOLDIER first class Genesis Rhapsodos, and SOLDIER first class Zack…” Cloud stopped short, somehow forgetting how to breath. He read the full name over and over in his head, but the words never seemed to process. There, typed in plain, black ink, was the name Zack Fair. 

Cloud stood up shakily, stumbling over his feet and did circles to search for what he was looking for. A little ways away, he spotted a window, covered with dark-grey curtains. He all but ran to it, stealth completely forgotten in a haze of panic and confusion. He ripped the curtains open, causing one of them to unhinge from the wall altogether. At this point, there was only one thing that could prove to him that this wasn’t Rufus trying to mess with his head and drive him to insanity. The proof that laid before him was what had ultimately stopped his heart, and nearly caused him to collapse under intense pressure. 

It was Midgar, but not the destroyed and crumpled Midgar he routinely passed while on delivery runs. No. This was Migar as it had once been, completely fine, and bustling with the exuberant night life he remembered. He was several stories in the air, looking over it in all of its glory, and the only building in Midgar tall enough to account for his current altitude was Shinra. 

He was a prisoner, in the Shinra building, in the middle of Midgar, and somehow, everything was fine and well again. He stared down at the street below, memories forcing their way into his mind. His last battle, his fall from the top of the destroyed Shinra building, Aerith’s voice. He should be dead. Yet here he was, the captive of a past that didn’t even seem to know who he was. 

He gripped the curtain in his hand, all of his emotions bubbling up to the surface until he ripped the rest of the curtain, and the rail it had been attached to, clean out of the wall. He felt numb, like he could be hit by a truck right now, and not feel a thing. His transparent reflection stared back at him in the glass of the window, his eyes glowing brightly with his torment. 

As if things couldn’t get any worse, his ears vibrated with the sound of footsteps nearing. His eyes shot to a door across the sitting area, before rapidly looking around him. He needed to find a place to hide until he had enough clearance to get out. He shoved the ripped curtain into a closet, and bolted for another room, just as the door to the house opened. Cloud noticed he’d run into a kitchen, and ducked behind the black, marble island in the center. Laughter filled his ears, and the blonde did his best to listen, while making sure to eliminate his presence as much as possible. 

“I’m serious, the guy must do a million push ups a day to have biceps like that. At this point, he’s trading strength for agility. In order to be any help in stealth missions, you have to be somewhat slim enough to stay hidden. That guy could hide behind a bus and still be spotted.” The voice belonged to the man who was responsible for Cloud being brought to this hell hole.

It took everything the blonde had to stay ducked down, and not go at his throat in an effort to get even. 

“That’s true, but if, let’s say, there was an attack, and it was mandatory to get everyone evacuated, he’d be good at clearing the way. There’s a place for everyone at Shinra, Zack, even for those with zero subtlety.” Angeal replied. 

Zack… The name on the folder, the familiarity of his voice. How many coincidences would Cloud have to believe in before it changed from reason to denial. Several impossible things had already happened in a matter of days, and yet he still couldn’t bring himself to believe in this. 

“The best SOLDIER’s though, we can all agree, are the ones who are a balance of both. Right?” Zack quizzed, though his tone showed he already knew he was right. 

Angeal made a sound of confirmation, before Cloud picked up on the plastic rustling of bags, and the two men began heading towards the kitchen. The kitchen he was currently hiding in, but not really because if anyone were to simply walk in far enough, they’d see him immediately. 

Cloud did his best to completely hide his presence. He slowed his breathing, and heart rate, before shifting his bodyweight so that he could move around quietly. The lights overhead flicked on, and the bags they had been carrying were placed on the island. They were on one side, while Cloud was plastered against the other. He’d need to listen carefully, and move according to the way they did. When they moved left, he moved left, when they moved right, he moved right. Gods help him if they went in opposite directions. 

“I didn’t realize it was already this late, Cloud must be starving if he hasn’t fallen asleep. I’ve been keeping him on a pretty strict schedule, so this evening has probably thrown him a bit.” Angeal stated, shifting towards the fridge, as Cloud shifted a bit in the opposite direction to avoid being spotted. 

“You’ll have to write it down for me, though I doubt we’ll be able to keep him calm much longer with drugs and schedules alone. He needs trust, not meaningless things to force relaxation. As it is he’s probably going half out of his mind being locked up all day. Even if he was never in SOLDIER, mako has the same effect. It makes you restless, makes you crave movement and a good fight. I’m surprised he hasn’t tossed you out the window already.” Zack joked. 

Cloud didn’t like that they were talking about him like they were trying to tame some kind of rabid animal into submission. They’d already destroyed any possibility of gaining his trust the moment they’d decided to make him their prisoner. Still, there was a part of the blonde that craved to peak over the counter, to see if this Zack was HIS Zack, or simply an imposter with the same name. If it was the Zack from his memories, not trusting him might be harder than he cared to admit. His brain was basically wired to only trust a few people, but once he did trust them, he did so with his life, and Zack was one of those people. 

“I felt like I was making progress with him, he’s extremely easy to read, just like you.” Cloud heard a thud, and assumed Zack had hit Angeal, or something along those lines. “Ow, geez, let me finish before you bare your fangs Zack. Like I was saying, he’s easy to read, but it’s harder to keep his focus than it is to gain it. He’s emotionally driven, but very complicated. He has these… moments.” Angeal trailed.

“Moments?”

A long pause settled in the room as Angeal thought, and Cloud tried his best to remain still. 

“You know when Seph gets overwhelmed, or extremely angry? He has this look, like he’s trying to fight you with his eyes. It terrifies you, yet breaks your heart all at the same time. It’s cold, yet expressive. Like someone who has no outlet, and is trying their best to drain all of the emotion they’ve built up by killing them.” Angeal explained, stumbling over his words a few times, as if trying to ensure he didn’t say the wrong thing. 

“But Cloud isn’t Seph, and he’s not me. There’s a person in him, behind all of the angry shouts, and stoic features. You can’t just figure out who someone is by comparing them to other people Ang. You always search for comparisons to explain things you don’t understand, but people are more complicated than that.” Zack’s voice was gentle, but still firm as he chastised the other man. 

“Oh? And when did my student become my teacher, Zack the puppy?” Angeal drawled, his tone playful. 

“I’m a first too now Angeal, I’ll be a teacher myself soon, if I can find the right student. Maybe--” Zack didn’t get a chance to finish before Angeal cut him off. 

“I know what you’re thinking and it’s a bad idea. Forget about it.” 

“What? You didn’t even hear me out--” Zack whined. 

“I didn’t need to hear it to know what you wanted. The only reason he’s not locked up somewhere is because you love to take care of wounded things. He’s your patient, not your long lost friend. We don’t even know how dangerous he is, and I’d rather not hand him a weapon until we know. Besides, his enhancements are off the charts, even more so than yours. Actually… they rival Sephiroth’s. Someone like that has the potential to be your superior in different circumstances.” 

So they were still talking about Cloud. So far, the blonde had suffered the stress of staying hidden, and had to listen to a whole conversation about himself, without any information to be gained. Other than that this Angeal was apparently Zack’s teacher. 

“Strength of the blade is only so good unless it’s matched with strength of the mind. Your words.” Zack said, before his footsteps began to fade into the sitting room, shortly followed by Angeal, who flipped the kitchen light off. 

Did Cloud just get called dumb, or was this stemming from the whole “mentally unstable” tag that everyone seemed to love plastering on him? Even Barrett always told him he was going to drive himself to insanity someday. Just because he wasn’t smiling all hours of the day, and skipping merrily down the streets, didn’t mean he was a nut case. 

Cloud listened to the distinct sound of fabric rubbing together as Zack sat on the sofa, and Angeal… Oh shit. Angeal was headed to his room. The blonde had about five seconds to get up and run, because once his absence was discovered, he’d have no hope of getting out. 

He stood up quickly, still making sure to keep his footsteps light until the front door was in sight. Once he caught sight of it, he bolted. His eyes never left the promise of his freedom, his arms pumping at his sides in a steady stride even as he heard the shouts from behind him. 

It only took him a matter of seconds to reach the entrance to the apartment, but it had felt like hours of running in slow motion. Like one of those dreams, where you are being chased, but you can’t scream, and are moving so slow it’s frustrating. Four seconds later he was slamming the door open, five seconds later and he was out in the hall, six seconds later he was speeding towards the staircase sign to the right. All of it took seconds, but he’d never believe that to be true. In Cloud’s mind, he’d already been fleeing for a century now. 

However, his muscles must have still been weakened from all of the days he spent bed ridden, because just before he made it to the stairs, his bicep was taken in a strong grip. A humiliating yelp echoed out of his mouth when he was jerked backwards after running forwards at full speed. His arm stung with the force of the fingers digging into his arm, but he refused to let out another sound in an attempt to save some of his pride. Instead, he used the grip to gain momentum, and swung his body so that his arm was ripped free, and his foot was barreling for his perpetrators face. It would have been a perfect connection had the image of the person now before him not completely thrown him off guard. His momentary fumble allowed for the man to grab his extended leg, and kick the other one off balance, sending him to the ground. 

Cloud’s vision blurred, and he feared he was in real danger of cardiac arrest with how many times it had beat this rapidly recently. His eyes bounced between the colors of silver and black standing over him. Green eyes looking cold, and vaguely curious, while blue eyes regarded him with concern. Two people he’d witnessed dying with his own eyes, one of which was eliminated multiple times by his own hands. Both of them were now looming over him like ghosts promising to make him atone for his sins. Zack’s mouth moved, but Cloud could hear no sound other than the continuous ringing in his ears. Another look passed over Sephiroth’s face, as he made to move closer to Cloud, extending one hand out. 

Angeal came up behind the two of them, shouting at Sephiroth and grabbing the man’s hand before he could touch the blonde. Cloud could do nothing but move backwards, suffocating on his own mouthfuls of air. His head began to feel fuzzy, the corners of his vision becoming obscured in dark shadows. Once Cloud’s back hit a wall, he knew he was completely trapped in this nightmare. He had nowhere left to run, no strength to fight. 

Just as he was about to allow himself to succumb to blissful darkness, a hand appeared in his vision. His body jerked, but the hand made no move to invade his space. It just lingered there, flat, and unoffending. Cloud hesitantly drew his eyes up the fingers, palm, wrist, arm, shoulder, until he could see the person’s face. In the time he’d been focussed on studying the individual, his hearing had gradually returned to him. 

“Hey, I know this isn’t usually how you’d meet someone, but I feel proper introductions are long overdue. I’m Zack Fair, and you’re Cloud, right?” 

It was Zack, really and truly was him. He was alive, he was here. Cloud made no move to accept the handshake, but did offer a barely there nod to answer his friend’s question. Zack smiled in return, and retracted his hand, seeming to understand he wasn’t going to get a return gesture. 

“I know this is probably really frustrating, and confusing, but no one here wants to hurt you. I promise, if you just come back with me I’ll make sure you’re safe. You don’t even have to go back into that room, we can sit on the couch and just talk. Not an interrogation, or me trying to gain any leverage against you, just regular conversation.” Zack promised, his eyes never leaving Cloud’s own. 

Angeal was right, Zack really was expressive with his eyes, and Cloud could feel the tension leaving his body at the sincerity he found there. He glanced past dark-black tufts of hair, to make sure his other pursuers didn’t show any signs of hostility. Angeal looked like a concerned parent, ready to pull his own hair out of his head from stress. Sephiroth… He couldn’t even look at the man long enough to know what kind of expression he wore. As soon as his eyes saw the flash of silver hair, he could no longer keep his gaze focussed. Instead, he stared back up at Zack, who was still smiling patiently, making no moves to get closer, or walk away. 

He still wanted to run, but everything in him told him that if he was going to place any semblance of trust in anyone right now, it was going to be Zack. The man in Cloud’s memories never lied to him, and had given his own life to protect him. Even if this wasn’t the same world Cloud had left behind in the destroyed remains of Midgar, some things -- some people -- had to stay the same, right?

Finally, Cloud seemed to find his voice again. “Just talk--?” He asked apprehensively, voice a bit raspy and raw. 

Zack’s face seemed to light up at the sound of his voice, as he nodded vigorously and stood from his crouched position. “Yes, I promise, Cloudy. We’re just gonna talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter title and quote: Don't let me go by RAIGN


	4. Bring Me Down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack and Cloud have a conversation as Zack attempts to calm him down. Angeal and Sephiroth have a conversation about Cloud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNINGS: implications/talk of Haphephobia (Fear of touch, or being touched by others)**
> 
> Thank you guys for all of the comments and support you have given me. ^^ each time I hear how much you guys are enjoying the story, it inspires me to continue writing more. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

“Lately I don’t feel so bright

I just wanna run away and hide

But you’re always right by my side

Telling me to go left when I should go right

I feel like my hands are tied so tight

I feel like I’m going to lose my mind

But I can no longer justify 

My actions.”

\-------------------------------------

Sure, it was just talking, and Zack had followed through on his promise. He’d led a hesitant Cloud back into his apartment, and sat him down on the lengthy couch, making sure to keep a cushions distance between them. However, the thing Cloud hadn’t accounted for, was whether or not he could even DO normal “talking” anymore. What did he and Zack like to talk about all those years ago? How do you start a conversation? 

He could slice the thick awkwardness surrounding him with a knife, as he sat with his back as stiff as a board. Even so, the black-haired boy in front of him seemed perfectly content in sitting in silence until Cloud was ready, a goofy grin plastered on his face. Zack had, thankfully, been the only one to follow him inside the home, Sephiroth and Angeal having stayed behind in the hallway. The blonde could barely contain the twitching of his muscles as he was led past the two SOLDIER’s. His entire being screamed at him to wrap his fingers around the silver haired general’s throat. While he simply wanted to push Angeal off a balcony or something, especially when the raven flashed him an apologetic glance. 

The last thing Cloud wanted was sympathy. If the man really felt sorry, then he’d give him the fight he’d been itching for. Sad glances and empty words did little to make him feel better -- only serving to ignite the fire inside of him even more. At the rate the blonde was going, he was a ticking time bomb, ready to explode the second things went south again. 

His attention was torn away from staring angrily at the exit to the apartment when Zack cleared his throat. Cloud trained his gaze back on the man, who once upon a time had been his best -- and arguably only -- friend. His eyes automatically softened when regarding Zack, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t still packing a bit of venom in the blue orbs. 

Zack subconsciously brought a hand up to scratch at the back of his head, eyes drifting upwards in thought. Eventually, the man finally seemed to understand this wasn’t going to go anywhere if he waited on Cloud. 

“Alright, how about this. What’s your favorite snack? We can get you something to eat, and hopefully calm things down a bit.” Zack offered, a hopeful look shining on his features. 

Despite the innocence of the question, the blonde couldn’t help but do a double take. The question was so mundane, that it had caught him completely off guard. He then wondered, what WAS his favorite snack? His lips parted, as he looked down at his hands resting in his lap. 

A memory flooded his vision, of the times when he and Zack would hang out in the training yards after a long day. They’d always sit on the equipment used for strength conditioning, and just talk about random things. It could be about what happened to them throughout the day, or a problem they had been dealing with, but it was never forced, and always relaxing. Zack always had these chips, with some kind of logo on them… 

A cartoon rabbit. His brain supplied him with the image of the ridiculous character, but still, Zack loved it. 

But that wasn’t Cloud’s favorite snack. No. It was his friend’s favorite. The blonde had never really liked those chips, always claiming that the crisp food was supposed to be salty and not sweet. Where the black-haired man always enjoyed sweet treats, Cloud had always been prone to enjoying more savory foods. Zack would bring him something else… 

Rice crackers. Zack used to bring him salted rice crackers when they would spend time together. 

“Rice crackers?” Zack questioned, making sure he’d heard Cloud right. 

The blonde boy hadn’t even noticed he’d spoken the food’s name out loud, but nodded nonetheless. Cloud was starting to worry for the muscles in Zack’s face if the man kept smiling like that, though made no move to speak out about it. 

“I don’t particularly like them, but there’s a vending machine down the hall that I know carries them. I can--” Zack didn’t get to finish, because as soon as he got up to venture to the apartment’s exit, Cloud had reflexively gripped the older boy’s wrist. 

The blonde froze, not understanding his own actions, and why he didn’t want Zack to leave. He wanted to let go, the feeling of skin touching his own making nausea bubble up in the back of his throat, but he couldn’t. It felt like if he were to let go, his best friend would disappear into thin air, and he just couldn’t allow that. 

Zack looked conflicted, staring down at the hand wrapped securely around his wrist. Cloud had enough pressure in the grip that he wouldn’t hurt the appendage, but Zack surely wouldn’t be set free without using force. 

“Hey Cloudy, I can’t get you crackers if you don’t let me go.” He tried, which only resulted in the tightening of Cloud’s grip. 

Cloud didn’t know what was wrong with him, but the thought of letting Zack leave right now terrified him more than anything. He was mortified by his own clingy behavior, recognizing that it was completely uncharacteristic of him. Even so, his grip remained like iron around the black-haired man’s wrist. 

“Okay, if you let me go, I’ll just go to the door so I can ask Angeal to bring them. But I can’t do anything if I can’t move.” Zack compromised, being careful to remain still enough so that the blonde wouldn’t tighten his grip even more. Though Cloud’s grasp wasn’t quite as dangerous as it could be yet, the black-haired man wasn’t about to take any chances. He needed that hand, thank you very much. 

After a moment, the irrational side of Cloud’s brain seemed to agree, allowing him to slowly remove his hand from his friend’s wrist. Zack kept a watchful eye on the younger male as he walked away. Once he made it to the front door, he spared one last glance back at Cloud, before peeking his head out. 

Cloud could hear the rumbling vibration of voices, letting him know the two SOLDIER’s were probably still standing in the hall in case he decided to bolt again. The blonde only caught the very end of the conversation, when Zack frustratedly said something along the lines of “you’re not coming back in unless you’ve got crackers in your hand.” After that, Zack shut the door behind him, and walked back over to the couch with a reassuring smile. 

This was going to be a long evening. 

\----------------------------

Out in the hall, Angeal was pacing back and forth. Zack had managed to wrangle Cloud back into the room, but who knows what might have happened had Sephiroth not seen him. The silver-haired man was lighter on his feet than the rest of them, and was able to quickly grab Cloud right before he reached the stairs. It was pure luck that they’d caught him in time, but it wasn’t something Angeal wanted to risk again.

How had he even gone unnoticed for so long? That skill of completely eliminating one's presence enough to escape the senses of two SOLDIER’s was not of someone who didn’t know what they were doing. Cloud was skilled, even more so than they had first thought. Mako enhancements, no matter how drastic, only when so far if you didn’t know how to use them. Today, the boy had certainly proved he knew exactly what he was capable of, and how to take advantage of his own abilities in the best way possible. 

“So that’s the kid Fair decided to take in, that has the higher ups going mental right now?” Sephiroth asked, his eyes closed as he leaned up against the opposite wall with his arms crossed over his broad chest. The man remained ever calm, and regal with his presence. Sephiroth was the king of hiding his true emotions and intent behind a cool mask of unmistakable, well practiced composure. The only thing that gave away the tiniest bit of the man’s inner thoughts, were the smallest of microexpressions that would fall over his smooth features. Unless someone took the time to get to know the man enough to know what those miniscule expressions meant, Sephiroth would remain a complete anomaly -- seemingly devoid of emotion. It was one of his greatest assets on the battlefield, but made having a social life virtually impossible. Not that the general minded, Angeal knew. Sephiroth preferred to keep to himself as much as his position at Shinra would allow. 

Angeal stopped his pacing long enough to regard his friend, before nodding his head and opening his mouth to answer. “Yes, his name is Cloud Strife. I haven’t been able to get much usable information out of him, he’s a pretty tight lipped guy.”

“If Zack wants to keep him, then he needs to keep a closer eye on him. Who knows what he could have done today -- what dangers he could have imposed -- had I not caught him.” Sephiroth reprimanded, his green, cat-like eyes opening long enough to pin Angeal with a look of warning. 

“I don’t think he’s dangerous, Seph… Not in the sense that I feel he wants to hurt anyone. I think he just wants to be let go, but we all know that’s not possible now that Shinra has their eyes set on him.” Angeal explained, knowing full well Cloud would not leave here unless it was dead, or as a recruit of SOLDIER. Or… worst case scenario, trapped down in the labs with Hojo. As it was, Zack had gone through hell trying to keep the scientist and his lackeys at bay. His chest ached for the kid, but this was not a matter that was up to him. He clearly showed potential, but if it wasn’t enough to meet Shinra’s strict standards… well, the raven didn’t want to think about it. 

“He seemed pretty dangerous when he was swinging his foot at my face.” Sephiroth countered, the barest hint of an implied scoff tainting his voice. 

“Well, if you were being held captive by people you didn’t know, and you got caught right as you were about to escape, I’m pretty sure you’d do worse than send a foot flying. Other than small incidents where he became overwhelmed, Cloud has never been violent in a way that has led me to be concerned. About the only thing that has concerned me, is the way he reacts to physical touch. He acts as if every person around him is out to harm him.” Angeal didn’t know why he was defending the boy, who a couple of days ago he swore he couldn’t give two fucks about. Maybe it was because, in some ways, Cloud reminded him of Zack. Maybe it was pity, or perhaps that the blonde was someone Zack seemed to care about. 

“Survival instincts,” was Sephiroth’s short reply. 

The man hardly ever gave more than a couple sentences at a time in conversations. Most people refused to talk to him more than they had to, because the general was known throughout Shinra as a conversation killer. 

Angeal glanced at the general disbelievingly, his own arms crossed defensively over his chest in agitation. “No, survival instinct is what you and I have. Reactions based on a mix of innate reflexes, and learned ones from years of training. What Cloud has is what we call trust issues, which can only be brought on by years of struggle.” He tried to explain to the difference to his friend. 

“Is it not the same thing? Conditioning over years can yield different results, whether they be good or bad. What makes his reaction to being touched any different from our reaction to a weapon unsheathing?” Sephiroth quizzed. 

“Circumstance,” Angeal fired back, aggravated, yet not surprised that the silver-haired man wasn’t understanding what he was trying to say. 

“Hm?” Sephiroth hummed, his hand twitching upwards where it was clasped on his bicep, prompting him to elaborate.

The raven let out a sigh, his eyes shifting to the ceiling for the briefest of moments. “Our survival instincts are things that help us, Cloud’s problem is a hindrance, not only to himself but to those around him. If he was choking, I think he’d sooner suffocate than allow someone to perform the heimlich on him. Survival instincts help us live longer, not increase our chances of dying foolishly.” 

“Well, perhaps whatever hole he crawled out of required him to distance himself from people in order to stay safe. Sometimes trust can be a bigger hindrance to an individual than anything else.” 

Though Angeal could keep up his debate as long as necessary with Sephiroth, he was stopped short by the sound of a door creaking open. Both he and the general’s forms stiffened to attention, prepared to stop a certain blonde if he decided to come rushing out again. The raven heaved a sigh of relief when he took in Zack’s soft features peaking around the cracked door. 

“What is it?” He inquired, his tone perhaps a bit harsher than he normally would have used with his little protege. 

Zack ignored it, seeming to understand Angeal’s current frustrations, and opting to get right to the point. “I can pay you back later, but I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind going down the hall and getting a pack of rice crackers from the vending machine?” 

“Rice crackers? You don’t even eat those, and why can’t you get them yourself? It’s not like Sephiroth and I aren’t here to stop him if he tries to run again.” 

“They aren’t for me, they’re for Cloud, and I was fully prepared to go get them myself until he had my wrist in a death grip. If I could, I would, so please just do me this favor.” Zack pleaded, his eyes giving away his desperation.

“He grabbed your wrist?” Angeal stiffened, ready to react if the blonde had reached his limit of indulgence again. “Are you alright? He didn’t hurt you, did he?” He fired the questions of one at a time, feeling protective of the man he’d spent the better part of the last few years training. 

“No, Ang.” Zack rolled his eyes. “I mean yes, he grabbed my wrist, but no, he didn’t hurt me. I’m not a porcelain vase that will break from a touch. I don’t want to test his limits right now by leaving him though. Why throw fire on an already out of control flame when it can be easily avoided?” Even the usually hyper and happy Zack Fair seemed to be a bit snippy from the night’s events, his patience obviously wearing thin. 

“Maybe I should come in with you, make sure things stay civil.” Angeal pressed. 

“Sure, you can come in, after you go get some crackers.” the younger man smirked evilly. 

“Zack… there’s plenty to eat inside -- things that are much healthier than just crackers.” 

“I promised him a snack, and you aren’t coming back inside unless there are crackers in your hand” With that, Zack shut the door in Angeal’s shocked face, turning to glare when the slightest sound rose out of Sephiroth’s throat. The silver-haired man was clearly finding this situation comical, while Angeal wanted nothing more than to go to bed. 

\-------------------------

“Okay!” 

Zack’s shout caused Cloud to jerk the smallest bit in his seat, his reflexes telling him loud noises were almost always followed with combat. 

The hyperactive man all but bounced back to the couch, a bit too cheerfully, Cloud might add. Even if he hadn’t sat like this with Zack in years, the blonde could recognize forced actions of happiness in an instant. Tifa, though obviously more feminine in her movements, would often bounce around similarly when Cloud came home in a bad mood. Of course, on more than one occasion he had seen her intentions as being a little too suggestive for his liking. Zack was simply trying to make him feel more comfortable, whereas Tifa sought to act more like his spouse than his friend. It's not that he didn’t like her, he just didn’t like her like THAT. His life had little room for anything more than conflict, let alone things like romance. Besides, the last thing he wanted was to burden her even further with his pathetic existence. 

Seeming to notice the sudden decline in Cloud’s mood, Zack was quick to snap the blonde out of his thought-induced stupor. “Angeal is getting some crackers right now, I’m sure it won't be long. Until then, I can tell you a bit about myself if it’ll help.” The second sentence came out more as a decision on Zack’s part than a question. The black-haired man was learning fast if he recognized asking Cloud questions like that was a waste of time. 

“Let’s see, I’m 25, my favorite color is dark-blue, and my weapon of choice is the buster sword. I’m a SOLDIER first, and as you can tell,” Zack gestured around them with a sweep of his hands, “I live here at Shinra,” he finished. He leaned back into the sofa, his legs long as he spread them out in front of his relaxed form, eyeing Cloud expectantly. 

The blonde really wanted to stay quiet, after all, he was in no position to be sharing personal information with his captors. But, this was Zack, would it really hurt to share a few things -- things of little value? 

In the moment of stretched out silence, his friend seemed to have taken it the wrong way, opting to urge Cloud in a more specific manner. “It’s okay, we can go slow. We can talk however long, or short you want, I’m a patient man. Not Sephiroth patient, now that takes the ultimate level of ‘I don’t give a fuck,’ but patient enough for you. Can you tell me how old you are?” 

Cloud couldn’t help the slightest twitch of his lips at the way Zack regarded the silver-haired demon. This small victory only brightened the black-haired man’s own beaming smile, to the point Cloud felt it could be used as a weapon to blind people. 

“Was that perhaps a smile I saw, Cloudy?” Zack asked, causing Cloud to move his eyes away from the imposing gaze. 

“23” Was all the blonde could muster the courage to utter. 

“Huh?” Zack’s head tilted to the side, clearly having forgotten his own question in his excitement of seeing Cloud smile -- if you could even call it that.

“My age” Cloud stressed, rolling his eyes, though not in a way that was all too annoyed. In fact, it was more playful than anything he’d done in a long time. 

“Oh, Right, sorry, I forgot I had even asked. Ha! That makes me older than you.” the older male teased him, sticking his tongue out childishly. 

For supposedly being the older of the two, Zack sure didn’t act like it, however, the simple action made warmth spread in Cloud’s chest. 

“Alright, next. What’s your favorite color? And I swear if you say orange I’m kicking you out of my home.” 

“Green, though I have no personal wars waged with the color orange.” the younger spoke coyly, not aware of how he’d finally relaxed into the sofa next to the black-haired man. 

“I can live with green, and the apparent sassiness you seem to have. So green as in forest green, or like a neon?” 

Cloud ignored the insult, knowing Zack didn’t have any hostility behind it. “No… Those are too vibrant. I prefer more of a diluted shade, like a dusty, or silvery green.” he elaborated without thought. 

“Hm,” the short hum of acknowledgment rose up out of Zack’s throat. “Any particular reason why that shade over other’s? I personally like navy blue more, because it reminds me of the ocean. Any chance I get to travel out to the shore’s, I take. It’s so relaxing, and completely unlike Midgar.” The older man leaned his head back and closed his eyes, as if imagining the scenery. “There's no clouds of pollution, or taint of machinery, nor the blaring of car horns and rumbling of the reactors. It's very pure, and calm, you know?” He tilted his head to regard Cloud with a peaceful look. 

“I’ve only seen the ocean a couple of times, and never really had the chance to think of it like that. I guess I like that shade of green more because --” Why did he like that shade? He was silent for a moment as he tried to come up with the words in his head. 

Zack remained quiet at his side, one eye closed from the brightness of the lights as his head was still tilted upwards. 

“Well, I guess it’s just because I don’t like bright colors. I’d rather them be diluted by a grey, or black; it makes them easier to look at. Bright green makes me feel-” Sick, Cloud finished in his head, images of the Mako tubes he’d be imprisoned in for years flashing behind his eyes. He squinted them, running a hand through his hair to try and ward off the sharp pangs in his head, without alerting Zack. 

“Fair enough. So, do you like to fight? You know, combat?” Zack asked his next question, which instantly made Cloud’s posture stiffen back up. 

The blonde didn’t think the older male meant anything by it in an information seeking kid of way. However, he became painfully aware that he wasn’t spending the night with his best friend right now. No, Cloud was a prisoner of Shinra, who desperately wanted to gain information on him. If he didn’t say anything, the best case scenario was Zack simply feeling upset that Cloud didn’t answer. Worst case scenario, the man would feel as though the younger man was trying to hide something from him. He needed to say something, but not TOO much. Words must be chosen carefully from here on out. 

“I used to fight to protect people, a long time ago. Now I stick to taking out daemons, and monsters for the most part. I don’t kill for the fun of it though, I only do what I have to in order to keep myself and others alive.” Cloud spoke slowly, not sure if what he shared was still too much. 

“Ah, then you’re a lot like us. Myself, Angeal, Gen, and Seph, that is. I choose to believe no person truly likes to kill, or hurt others, but maybe that’s just me being naive--” Cloud cut Zack off before he could finish. 

“You’re right, that is naive. There are plenty of people out there who’d use your kindness against you. The second you let your guard down, they’ll be there with a knife in your spine.” The blonde chastised, gritting his teeth so hard that he could hear the sharp grinding sounds in his ears. 

Zack’s attention was now fully focused back on Cloud, who looked away aggressively with a scowl. 

“People, or monster’s?” Zack asked, catching the younger off guard. 

“Is there a difference?” Cloud countered gruffly, still refusing to look at the black-haired man. 

“Of course there is. People are creatures that sometimes make mistakes, we aren’t perfect, after all. Monsters are those who were once people, whose desires and ideals became warped. I protect people, and I kill monsters.”

Zack never ceased to completely baffle Cloud, and the blonde silently wondered if maybe it was a trait the older man had picked up from Angeal. Though Zack was clearly less mature than his teacher, his perceptiveness and much of his teachings sounded painfully similar. 

“Am I interrupting?” A deeper voice spoke from the front door. 

‘Speak of the devil’ Cloud thought, making sure his form was as alert and combat ready as possible. 

“Nah, you’re good Angeal. I was actually beginning to wonder if you were pushed down the stairs or something with how long it took you to get a simple pack of crackers.” Zack teased, making no move to get up from his comfortable position. 

Cloud kept his eyes away from the raven, but still kept his ears sharp to the sound of footsteps getting closer to the couch. When the man stopped right behind where the blonde sat, Cloud was sure his back was so straight with tension that his spine would break. A crinkling sound was followed by a bag being held out in his field of vision. The front of it was printed in a large, bubble font, ‘Premium Salted Rice Crackers.’ 

“You like this snack, Cloud?” Angeal asked, like he was trying to make a mental note for the future. 

Hesitantly, Cloud took the bag from the raven’s hands, the plastic sounding way too loud on his straining eardrums. 

“I -- I do.” He forced himself to answer, trying to remember that Angeal was close with Zack, so hopefully he wasn’t a bad guy. Besides, despite all of the opportunities, now that Cloud’s head was relatively clear, he knew the man had never really hurt him.

“Hm, I’ll remember that.” Angeal replied, a smile in his voice. 

For people that were eating out of the palm of Shinra, they seemed very happy all the time. 

“Sephiroth bought them. He claims it was because you are, I quote, ‘too skinny,’ but I know it’s his way of apologizing for earlier.” Angeal explained, of course it had to be after Cloud had popped one of the crackers in his mouth. 

The blonde choked, pounding one hand on his chest to try and clear his airway. 

“This is the second…” He coughed heavily one last time, “second time you’ve tried to choke me in one day asshole.” Cloud’s voice was raspy from coughing, but still held accusatory venom in every word. 

Since when did Sephiroth give a fuck about anyone, especially in regards to whether or not they were “too skinny.” Cloud was perfectly well balanced for his height. Just because he was a bit shorter than the general (he’d never admit to their truly vast height difference), didn’t mean he was undernourished. It almost made him want to chuck the package across the room, but the salty treat was so good, and he was so hungry that his body refused to let him. 

Even after supposedly dying, he still couldn’t seem to escape the Silver General. He could only hope he’d stay off the man’s radar enough that neither of them had to be a part of the other’s life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter quote and title: Bring Me Down by B3LLA x xChenda


	5. Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud finally meets Genesis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: Night terrors (Graphic depictions of blood), violence**
> 
> This chapter gets a little graphic at the beginning. Look for this symbol (!!) to know when it's safe to read if you do not like that. Enjoy the chapter!

I can show you all the places that you’ve never seen

I can take you where your scared to go cause I’ve already been

We can keep it on the low, low, low

Your dirty secret no one knows

You know I know you wanna come with me

I’m only a nightmare

When you wake up and I’m not there

You’ll fiend for me cause I don’t play fair

I’ll be the mark you can’t erase

The demon tapping on your brain

Let me be your nightmare

\----------------------------------------------

Cloud was surrounded by a black void. Every direction he looked in came up empty, his eyes widening significantly as he tried his best to take in any light. He turned in circles, his feet making splashing sounds on the wet ground beneath him. Every once in a while, he’d swear he could see the slightest glint of reflection in the sloshing liquid. Just as soon as his eyes tried to follow the glimmer, however, it would disappear, like it never existed to begin with. Perhaps it was just tricks his mind was playing on him, as it desperately tried to fill in the gaps in his blindness. 

“Hello?” He called out, only to have his voice swallowed instantly by the nothingness. It was too quiet, aside from the wet sounds of his steps through the shallow stream at his feet. Even those sounds were swallowed almost as swiftly as they rang out. He couldn’t see anything, smell anything, feel anything, and hardly hear anything. The extreme level of sensory deprivation he was experiencing began to make his heart rate steadily increase in his chest. 

Just as he stilled completely in the virtually suffocating space, he could hear the splashing of footsteps that weren’t his own in the distance. They steadily got closer, causing Cloud to hesitantly take a few careful steps in the same direction. 

“Is someone there?” He asked, voice coming out a little quieter this time from nerves. Who could possibly be wandering around in this desert of darkness? Hell, even Cloud didn’t know how he’d gotten here. 

The sharp steps continued to ring louder the closer they got to the blonde, who stilled in anticipation. Closer and closer, until Cloud couldn’t tell which steps were the real ones, and which were simply echoes in his head. His eyes strained even further, every nerve in his body standing on edge while he set his form to be combat ready. 

Suddenly, with a final loud splash that sounded so heavy it was like a stone being tossed into a lake, everything fell into silence again. His breaths were so fast and shallow that Cloud could now distinctly hear them as they fell past his dry lips. His head swiveled on his neck, feverishly, in every direction. Just as his shoulders fell, and he began to relax once more, he caught a spark of reflection in the water again. His gaze shot to the floor, where what he saw had the air leaving his lungs, and his vision blurring from the rush of pure adrenaline. He looked down into his reflection in the water, only it wasn’t his own. 

The form reflecting his own was taller, more muscled, and tense with perfect posturing. The flesh covering stiff bone was a bit paler than the slightly sun-kissed cream shade Cloud grew accustomed to seeing in the mirror. Hair, rather than a golden shade of blonde, was a ghostly glow of platinum, and so long it swept the backs of strong thighs. However, the most striking difference lay in his eyes, which rather than being a sapphire-blue, reflected as a silvery-green cat’s glare. This wasn’t his reflection, it couldn’t be. The cold demeanor of the murderer he gazed at was nothing like him. Right?

The reflection twitched, as if coming to life upon realizing it was under intense scrutiny. Cloud fought, all of his muscles straining while his body moved in tune to the raising arm of his imposter. Cloud watched with glaring eyes, sweat beginning to bead up on his forehead when a cold hand reached its destination. A gasp escaped his chest as his fingers wrapped around the hilt of a sword he hadn’t even known he was carrying. The long katana in the reflection mirrored the broad buster sword pressing against his palm. Biceps twitching with the new weight, as Cloud was forced to hold the blade out in front of himself. His face, no doubt, was contorted into one of complete horror at the harsh understanding that he had no control. The face staring back at him though, was twisted into a sickly grin, promising pain and suffering. 

As the point of the sword finally stretched out completely in front of him, Cloud could only watch in bitter silence as the still water beneath him began changing. The liquid grew angrier, foaming and lapping at his ankles while distorting the image. He began to hear a shrill sound in the distance, high pitched and continuous. It made his eardrums ache in agitation, as it continued to get louder and louder, before being joined by other’s of varying volumes and pitches. He wanted nothing more than to cover his ears, and close his eyes, just praying for it all to stop. He recognized the sounds for what they were -- for what they represented. They weren’t simply whistles from the void, but rather, the tortured, agonizing screams and wails of people. Innocent men, women, and children, bitter in their suffering. The water faded from it’s crystal beauty, to a mortifying shade of deep crimson. And as it finally began to still once more, he recognized the features in the new reflection as being himself. This was no longer a demon of silver and green. No, it was now one of gold and Crimson, whose hands bore the blood of thousands. 

He could smell the sickening, metallic bitterness of spilt life in the air, mixing with the chemical, burnt scent of mako. It slipped into his mouth, making him heave and gag on the putrid taste. He could hear nothing but the never ending screams, threatening to take what was left of his sanity with them. His fingers were slick around the hilt of the sword, which he still could not seem to lower. Sweat mixed with the ribbons of red, pooling into his palm -- hot and thick. His vision became nothing but a blinding fury of burgundy, overwhelming the last of his senses. 

Finally, as Cloud reached the end of the thin rope that was his composure, he opened his mouth. The thickness continued to slip in, sliding over his tongue and down his throat, but he ignored it in favor of expelling a loud scream of his own. It joined with the other’s who fought to take over his mind, and forced hot, red liquid to spew out of his mouth and down his chin. His voice raised louder, and louder, until he’d completely drowned out all the rest. But one could only cry out for so long, and soon he’d be forced to take in that deep breath, which would drown him in the blood as it filled his lungs.

!! 

Shooting forwards with a shout, Cloud clawed at his chest while making choking sounds that echoed off the walls of the sitting room. His eyes were wide with panic, as he tried his best to calm himself down from the images still burned in his brain. The nightmare had seemed terrifyingly real, and he swore he could almost still taste the diluted tang of copper in his mouth.

His pulse slowly began to beat lighter against his veins. His body, though still covered in thick layers of sweat, started to cool off. The blonde took to controlled breathing exercises, inhaling deeply for a few seconds, before exhaling slowly. He cursed himself for the way each breath shuddered, but still tried to remain focussed on getting himself back to a state of calmness. 

“You wake up sounding like a dying animal often?” A bored, and snarky voice had him immediately on his feel with his arms on guard in front of him. 

He hadn’t even noticed the presence of the slim, yet imposing male, who was leaning against a counter, observing him from the entrance of the kitchen. The man was taller than Cloud by several inches, though just a tad shorter than Angeal. Jaw length, fiery red hair was slightly ruffled on his head. His eyes, glowing distinctly with the same SOLDIER mark the rest of them had, were painted in a diluted shade of cloudy blue. He was dressed in a pair of black sweatpants, hanging low on his hips, with a dark-red t-shirt. 

His brow was arched lazily as he regarded Cloud with clear interest, though his posture said he commanded respect, and held himself to a high standard. A spoon dangled from his mouth, his left hand wrapping around a cup of strawberry yoghurt, while his right supported his weight where he leaned. 

“Who the hell are you?” Cloud asked, his tone clipped, and ruder than it had to be due to his panic driven anger -- the aftermath of his grueling nightmare. 

“I believe I asked you a question first. Decorum dictates you should be the first to answer.” The man muttered around the metal between his lips. The spoon clinked a bit against his white teeth as he lifted his unoccupied hand to pull it from his mouth. Rather than scooping the creamy yoghurt up on the utensil, he simply dipped it in so it was coated in pale-pink, before placing it back in his mouth. 

“I was just coughing” Cloud replied bitterly, not wanting to show any type of weakness before a man he didn’t even know. 

Cloud received a disbelieving look in return, before the redhead looked down and took his time repeating the action of spooning yoghurt into his mouth. When he seemed satisfied enough to speak again, he focussed his eyes once more on the blonde. “You have nightmares a lot?” Was the question that escaped around the spoon. 

“None of your business, I answered your question, now answer mine.” The blonde bit out, trying not to raise his voice too much so he didn’t wake anyone up. 

“Hn. Angeal wasn’t kidding when he said you were rather rude.” The man mumbled, completely ignoring the bone-chilling glare cast in his direction. He pulled the spoon out of his mouth again, holding it in a loose grip as he let it point away from his mouth. “Genesis Rhapsodos, SOLDIER first class. I apologize if I intruded on your ever so peaceful sleep, but Zack often has better food than me, so--” He trailed off, waving the spoon around in lazy gestures as he spoke. 

So he came to raid Zack’s snack drawer, and just happened to be here at the same time Cloud woke up. The blonde doubted Genesis would have been able to get in if he didn’t already have the passcode to the apartment. Shinra security was nothing to take lightly, and going through the trouble of breaking in, all for a cup of yoghurt, was highly unlikely. Cloud allowed himself to sit back down on the couch and ignore the other man’s presence. He still kept himself alert to movement, but was not inclined to continue talking any further. 

“Are you the stray Fair took in?” 

Cloud ignored the question.

“Why are you sleeping on the couch?”

Cloud’s brow twitched in annoyance, but he continued to ignore Genesis. 

“What’d you dream about?” 

Okay, he couldn’t take this anymore. All he wanted was peace and quiet, and this nuisance of a man was grating on his last nerve. He spun around in his seat so quickly that his head span. Cloud bared his teeth at Genesis, before finally shouting. “Would you just shut up!”

The redhead seemed completely unfazed by his outburst, his eyes still appearing bored, though his head tilted ever so slightly. 

Cloud took a deep breath in, and willed himself to remain calm before he committed murder in Zack’s home. “My sleeping patterns have nothing to do with you. I have nothing to do with you, so would you please just leave me alone so I can go back to sleep.” He mentally praised himself for his ability to keep his words level, and devoid of emotion. 

A moment of silent passed between them, and Cloud allowed himself to believe Genesis had finally conceded to being quiet. That was until a shadow loomed over his body from behind, and a smooth voice asked another calm question. 

“Do you usually sleep sitting up? Is that why you had a nightmare?” 

Cloud jumped up from his seat, putting as much distance between himself and Genesis as possible. He hadn’t even heard the man moving, and didn’t even sense his presence until his shadow was hovering over the blonde. This man, for all of his sarcasm, pompous attitude, and directness, was clearly dangerous. 

Not even reacting to Cloud’s sudden defensiveness, the redhead looped around the couch to sit in the middle. His legs were crossed out in front of him, while his arms came up to splay out on the back. His whole form was relaxed, and exposed, nothing in it saying that he held any fear of his company. 

“They say our nightmares are the deepest reflections of our innermost fears. Things we fear, that perhaps we aren’t even aware of, can all rise up from our subconscious in sleep. So I suppose, rather than asking what your nightmare was about, maybe I should be asking what are you afraid of?” Genesis’s words were fluid as they rolled off the man’s tongue, his eyes connecting with Cloud’s in determination. 

“Why does it matter to you so much?” The blonde was baffled. At first, he’d simply been annoyed, and mildly disturbed by the redhead’s line of questions. Now, Cloud just couldn’t bring himself to understand what could possibly be going through the man’s head. 

“Gen? What are you doing here? it’s like four in the morning.” Zack’s voice filled the living room, sounding sleep muddled and a bit deeper from clearly having just woken up. 

The black-haired man walked out of the entrance of the hallway, and into the sitting area to join the other two. He yawned deeply, eyes squinting shut as they watered from the force. When they opened again, he took in the scene before him, noticing the way Cloud stood stiffly with his body turned to Genesis. The hand he had brought up to ruffle his hair fell to his side with a deep sigh, before he cast a disapproving look in the redhead’s direction. 

“Are you seriously bullying Cloud in the middle of the night?” Zack asked incredulously. 

“Early morning, and you think I’d waste my time on something so pointless, Fair? I wasn’t doing anything besides eating yoghurt, when he woke up like someone was choking the life out of him.” Genesis explained, making sure to leave out the parts where he’d bombarded Cloud with numerous questions. 

Zack’s eyes narrowed at the redhead, as he brought his arms up to cross over his chest. “Uh huh, and why were you here eating yoghurt at 4 in the morning, with someone sleeping on the couch? That’s weird, even for you.”

“Call it vague curiosity.” Genesis’s eyes shined with mischief, shifting to look at Cloud, before settling back on Zack. “I wanted to know what kind of snacks Angeal had stocked you up with this time. I haven’t had the opportunity to pick up any groceries, having just arrived back home late last night. Unlike you, I had to stay behind to clean things up.” 

Cloud was reminded of the folder he’d read the day before -- something about a security breach of sorts. His fingers twitched at his sides when he connected the names on the piece of paper to what Genesis was saying. Genesis and Zack must have gone to take care of the assignment, but circumstance had Genesis staying behind. Why Cloud hadn’t seen the man sooner made sense if he hadn’t been around because of a job. 

“You had to stay behind because I had other things to take care of here.” Zack countered, determined to not let the redhead pin his own misfortune on him. 

“Yes, I can see that” Genesis’s voice was deep, holding a hint of warning packed behind each short word. 

The man stood up to his full height, breezing right past Zack to head straight for Cloud. The auburn-haired man didn’t reveal any of his intentions behind calm eyes, as the blonde took steps away from him. Each inch Genesis moved closer had Cloud bristling with a feverish itch to throw the first punch before his opponent could. Still, he didn’t want to attack if the man before him had no intentions of fighting with him. If the redhead got within the foot wide radius the blonde silently set for others though, then Cloud had no doubt he’d react whether he wanted to or not. For now he just took steady steps backwards as Genesis stalked forwards, sapphire blue eyes never ceasing their glare into cloudy ones. Cloud felt the warning on his face should be enough to let the man know what would happen if he continued his trek. His taut features and stern eyes practically screamed ‘Get too close, and I will make you regret it.’ Right now, the blonde was like a coiled snake, and Genesis was the all too curious cat. 

The distance between them remained relatively the same, until Cloud's back hit the cold wall behind him. This was it, the last chance Genesis had to second guess whether or not what he was doing was smart. The blonde’s feet were already spreading shoulder width apart, one foot plastered confidently in front of the other. His arms remained loose at his sides, ready to spring up at a moment's notice. He may look cornered, but he was ready to go for blood the first chance he got. His head lowered, eyes staring sharply ahead in a lethal, almost animalistic sign of stress and restraint. 

The corner of Genesis’s lip quirked up in challenge, his pace never wavering. It was almost like he was daring Cloud to try something, and the blonde would surely take him up on it if the man passed the invisible line he’d set. 

“Genesis--” Zack’s warning fell on deaf ears, time ticking by slowly as the redhead’s foot finally began to pass into Cloud’s circle. 

The second the appendage landed on the ground, Cloud struck with blinding speed. He played on the defense at first, testing his opponents stance with a sharp palm to the chest. 

Genesis stumbled back a bit, safely outside of Cloud’s set parameters, but it did little to dissuade him. If anything, the blonde was now able to see the first strong emotion flash behind those cocky eyes. 

Excitement. 

Their eyes matched one another, as if this was a battle they had both been craving. A second of silence hung between them, before Genesis shot forwards. Cloud reacted instantly, ducking as the man’s hand made to reach for his throat. His body twisted so he was now standing to the left of the redhead’s body, his own form following through with the momentum smoothly. His next attack at Genesis was not one for testing strength, but a purely offensive maneuver with a strong bite packed in. His hand curled into a fist, muscle memory telling him to make sure his thumb was on the outside so it wouldn’t break from the pressure of his punch. He aimed straight for his opponent's ribs, enough muscle behind his swing that it would surely shatter the fragile bones if allowed to connect. 

To Cloud’s deep dissatisfaction, Genesis was light on his feet, moving with agility only seen in well practiced combatants. Even through his anger, a smile born from pure thrill plastered itself on the younger male’s face. Using his body in the way he was most familiar with beats staying cooped up in bed for days on end by a million miles. 

He had all the time in the world to revel in the feeling as Genesis shifted into a counter-stance. His hands came up to lazily guard his face while his right foot aimed for the side of Cloud’s head. Unable to dodge given the tight corner he’d been packed in, and the speed with which the auburn-haired man moved, Cloud lifted his own leg to meet Genesis’s with equal force. 

They continued like this for a while, neither able to land a hit on the other, but both clearly enjoying it just as much. Everything else around Cloud was filtered out, as he lost himself to the burning of his muscles, and the revitalizing gasps of air. 

He wanted more. 

More and more, until he could no longer breath, and became consumed by the agony of desire. This was what it felt like to be whole, fearless, and in tune with the life of another -- the only way he could rid himself of painful solitude. 

The empowerment he felt was fleeting, however, when Genesis was the slightest bit quicker in his reach towards Cloud. The redhead took that second of precise speed to send a bruising blow into the blonde’s thigh. The younger man felt his leg shudder and almost give out under his weight, his guard being dropped in the time it took him to recover. It was all Genesis needed to push forward, and wrap long fingers under Cloud’s jaw. 

The blonde growled, muscles seizing as he strained to break from the tight grip the redhead had on him. Genesis’s eyes were full of fire and heat when he locked his gaze with his opponents. 

“Calm down” He commanded, his fingers digging into the pulse point of Cloud’s neck, feeling where his life beat under the skin. It seemed to be as much of a way of gaining control of the situation as it was to count each throb to ensure the blonde was in fact calming down. 

The closeness Cloud shared with the man was more than he’d ever allow, his stomach swimming in anticipated sickness. This close, he could physically smell the scent Genesis gave off -- a mixture of burning wood, leather, and something fruity like cherries. It was a truly bitter-sweet scent, that assaulted his senses and had him stiffening in the man’s hold. 

Genesis’s eyes continued to pin him to his spot, seeming to search for something in Cloud’s own. Once the blonde stopped struggling to break free, though still remaining tense like a wooden plank, the redhead opened his mouth to ask his final question. 

“Feel better?” 

Cloud’s breath caught in his throat, a mix of emotions flooding him. It dawned on him then that Genesis had intentionally provoked him to give Cloud the fight he’d clearly wanted. The matching looks of excitement that had mirrored in both of them showed the older man was a lot like Cloud himself. Both of them felt the most at peace when engaged in combat; only after would their minds be allowed to rest. 

Genesis had recognized this, and actually tried to help the blonde. 

Cloud gave a curt nod in acknowledgment, teeth grinding from the crawling, burning feeling of his skin touching another. 

Sensing the younger male was reaching his limit of toleration, Genesis finally released him, allowing Cloud to retreat backwards. 

“I said that’s enough!” 

The blonde felt the world around him come back into focus, noticing a tall figure standing between Genesis and himself. Zack had been the one to cry out, shielding Cloud from anymore of the redhead’s attacks. They both knew the fight was over though, as Genesis made no move to try and close the distance between him and his opponent again. 

“Thank you for the yoghurt, I was just about to see myself out.” The auburn-haired man turned on his heels, his movements confident and fluid. Once he reached the door, he cast one last glance over his shoulder, his face back to being unrevealing of any emotion. “See you around Zack” he paused, his lips twitching upwards, “Cloud.” 

The blonde was left standing there with Zack in front of him, his body feeling exhausted, yet rejuvenated. Somehow, he knew that when he laid down to sleep this time, that it would be a blessedly peaceful rest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter quote and title: Nightmare by Besomorph & RIELL


	6. Nobody

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth and Genesis have a conversation, which reveals some new, potential information on Cloud. Zack has a surprise for his spike, that the blonde may or may not be happy about.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **WARNING: Brief mention of Suicide, mentions of Haphephobic tendencies, briefly graphic depictions of genetically altered creatures, Hojo (cause this guy is so twisted he needs to come with his own warning label)** 
> 
> Okay guys! Another chapter. Please enjoy, and let me know what you think. ^^

I’m doing what I can to keep what’s left of my mind

But i'm reading into everything like truth is there between the lines

Mind is screaming

Lungs aren’t breathing

Waiting for success to free me

Always was, always will be

Nobody

\---------------------------------------------------

Sephiroth sat in his office, a tired expression marring his porcelain-like features as he stared at the mountain of papers on his desk. Almost half of them pertained to a certain blonde, who was either really good at covering his tracks, or whose identity was never accounted for. The general had half a mind to not even bother looking through the files, almost certain they contained the same answer he’d received from everywhere else. 

Person not found, invalid identification, unable to process. These were the types of responses that had plagued him for days now. The worst of it was the silver-haired man hadn’t even run into a corruption error. Usually, when someone tried to erase all traces of themselves, the pieces left behind would become corrupted. This meant the data could be reverse traced back to when it still existed. It was a tedious process, but not completely impossible. Without even so much as a corrupted file, he was at a complete loss, unable to incriminate the blonde, nor prove his innocence. 

The files on his desk were the result of his last efforts to find any shred of information. He’d reached out to all corners of Gaia; every town that was advanced enough to have a digital registry of their residents. If he could even pinpoint something as small as a birth certificate, then he’d at least have a place to start. 

The General suddenly felt the cold chill on the back of his neck, which told him he was no longer alone in his office. His posture straightened instantly, before his eyes flickered to the door he hadn’t even heard open. 

“Oh? I haven’t had the pleasure of being greeted with a glare like that from you in a while. Has work really be that stressful, Mr. General?” The intruder questioned coyly. 

“Genesis, do you need something from me?” Sephiroth asked, trying his best to keep his voice devoid of the frustration he was currently feeling. 

The redhead leaned back against the entrance to the General’s office, feet crossed at the ankles in front of him. His head was tilted backwards, pressing lazily into the cold metal of the closed door. To anyone else, Genesis often appeared to be as much of a cold slate as Sephiroth himself. However, to the silver-haired man, who knew each of his firsts well after all the years they’d spent together, the redhead showed clear signs of exhaustion. 

“Not particularly. Have you met Zack’s new toy yet?” 

Of course Genesis would want to talk about Cloud. It wasn’t as if the blonde was already taking up a huge chunk of the General’s time. Still, Sephiroth had to feel a sliver of amusement over the look of curiosity that flashed over his company’s features. It generally took a lot for someone to keep Genesis’s fascination -- with the redhead being as quick to discard people as he was to discard most everything else that didn’t live up to his expectations. However, it would seem that the little blonde anomaly piqued his intrigue, and got under the auburn-haired man’s skin just as much as Cloud had to the rest of them. 

“I haven’t been formally introduced, no, but I happened to foil his escape attempt yesterday evening. Somehow, I doubt he’s too interested in seeing me again anytime soon. I assume you asking me this means you’ve already gone to see him yourself.” Sephiroth stated this in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, already knowing he was right. Keeping half of his attention on the man walking closer to his desk, he took to opening the first file in front of him. 

Genesis made a sound of confirmation deep in his throat, taking his seat in one of the black, cushioned chairs across from the General. The leather adorning his lithe frame made a quiet creaking noise as it rubbed together at the waist. He stretched his legs out, still crossing them at the ankles while he slouched back in his seat. One arm rested on the adjacent arm of the chair, while his elbow pressed into the other so the man could bring his fingers up to press his brow. The redhead seemed to be deeply contemplating something, his eyes glazing over in a distant gaze. 

“Your impression?” Sephiroth pressed, pulling his company out of his thoughts before he was too far off to remember he was there to have a conversation. 

Genesis’s eyes drew up to the silver-haired man, the hand that had been resting on his temple falling to his side. The redhead’s tongue peaked out to wet his lips, pulling Sephiroth’s attention to the action for a split second. 

“Very reserved, and defensive, but passionate.” He listed, brows pressing together slightly as if he wasn’t sure if he’d used the right terms. 

“Passionate? How so? About the only thing I’ve seen him passionate about is his desire to get as far away from Shinra and it’s SOLDIER’s as humanly possible.” Sephiroth mused, closing the file with a soft flapping noise when he determined it wasn’t worth anymore of his time. He tossed it into the trash after jotting down the town’s name on the growing list of dead ends. 

“For sure. I don’t believe he’s keen on the idea of becoming all chummy with the people holding him hostage. But that’s not what I’m referring to.” Genesis picked at a loose thread on the seam of the armrest beneath his hand. His eyes narrowed at it slightly when his fingers slipped off, the thread still remaining in place. “I’m not sure, maybe passionate isn’t the correct word. Normally, I’d say stubborn, but Zack is stubborn -- Cloud is a bit different. He’s definitely someone with skill in combat though. I’d intended to engage him in a light spar to try and get him to cool off, but if not for a small margin of error on his part, I feel as though he could have easily bested me.” The redhead explained, seeming both amused, and frustrated that the blonde was so capable. 

“He allowed you to get close enough to him to spar? He’s been completely defensive to every advance so far, only striking out long enough to force people back.” Sephiroth spared a bit more attention to Genesis at that, suddenly very focussed on hearing the man’s response. 

“One foot” Genesis announced, finally pulling the thread out of the chair and tossing it to the floor. He leaned back in the seat, closing his eyes peacefully. 

“Hm?” The General expressed his confusion. 

“Our little dance was as much of a way for me to calm him down, as it was to gauge his honest reactions. Skill level, personality, and even some thoughts can be portrayed during a fight. It’s more intimate than anyone would normally admit to. One of the things that stuck out the most to me, was a rule he’s seemed to have made for everyone around him.” Genesis kept his elbows perched on the chair, as he brought his hands up to mirror each other. The appendages were splayed approximately one foot apart in front of his face.

“When I first advanced on him, I made sure to keep it slow. I wanted to see how far I had to press him before he’d make a move against me. It wasn’t until I was one foot from him, that he finally struck. His first hit was made with an open palm.” Genesis stretched his arm out in front of him, his fingers were rigid, and his palm was perfectly flat as it faced Sephiroth. 

“It was well controlled, not revealing the full extent of his strength, and strictly defensive.” 

“A warning strike” Sephiroth confirmed, nodding his head a bit to show Genesis that he understood what the man was trying to say. 

“Exactly. He had no intentions of trying to harm me, he simply wanted to move me out of his space. It wasn’t until I rushed him that he finally became serious. His movements are smooth, and concise, and he knows how to balance himself very well between striking and retreating. however, it was his fighting style itself that intrigued me.” Genesis’s expression became very serious, as he made sure that he had Sephiroth’s undivided attention for what he was about to say next. 

“He’s clearly personalized a bit of it to match himself, making up for his shortcomings, and weaknesses, while highlighting his strengths. But the inherent pattern of the style itself is of a Shinra based kata.”

Sephiroth could feel his eyes widen the smallest fraction from the newfound information. For all his stoicism, even he couldn’t help but react to the last thing he’d expected to hear. 

“So his teacher must be, or have been someone working under Shinra at one point or another. From his current skill level, this person would have to be of considerable strength themselves.” The General pointed out, closing the file in front of him now that he was sure Cloud wasn’t going to show up on the documents. 

“Which also means this person could similarly be responsible for his enhancements. If they had a high enough clearance to get into the labs, then it wouldn’t be impossible to get a hold of Mako injections.” Genesis finished, tracing his bottom lip with his thumb while looking off to the side. 

This was the most progress Sephiroth had made in days, all because Genesis had sparred with their reserved captive. At least now he had a place to start, which would hopefully open up more locked doors to the enigma that was Cloud Strife. 

\-------------------------------

Cloud sat on the sill of the large window in Zack’s living room. Now that he was allowed out of the suffocation of the bedroom he’d been imprisoned in, he was feeling a bit calmer. He still knew he needed to find a way out of Shinra, but for now, he’d resigned himself to being patient. Even if he managed to escape the apartment, he doubted he’d make it all the way to the exit undetected -- and he certainly wouldn’t be able to accomplish this during the day hours. 

For now he’d play nice, and bide his time until he could come up with a more sound plan. At this point, no one seemed to have any ill intent, and Zack was definitely not the worst company he could have. If he had to in the future, he could force his way, but he wouldn’t do that unless he was left with no other options. 

‘387’ Cloud counted in his head. He’d been counting the number of people going into the Shinra building, and subtracting from it the number of people leaving. This action gave him a general idea of the amount of employees working on a typical day. Having this bit of information might prove useful later on, even if only a little bit. 

The blonde’s head swiveled around when the front door to the apartment opened, his spine straightening as his relaxed posture melted away. He slouched again only slightly when he realized it was just Zack returning. 

The man looked vaguely annoyed, but whatever had been bothering him was quickly pushed aside when he saw Cloud. He walked into the sitting room after closing the door behind him, offering the blonde a small smile as he set a black grocery bag on the couch. 

“Hey Spike, whatcha up to?” the black-haired man asked, his eyes glancing to the window Cloud had been starting out of. 

“Looking” the younger replied, turning his gaze back to the window so he could resume his counting. 

“For--?” Zack pressed, drawing the word out, before he began digging through the bag. 

The rustling irritated Cloud’s hearing, making him want to take the cursed piece of plastic and toss it to the other side of Gaia. He closed his eyes for a few seconds, taking a deep breath as he prepared himself to respond to Zack’s question. 

“Nothing in particular” He finally replied, not inclined to tell the older man he was looking for information invaluable to his future escape. 

“That so? Well, I bought you something today. Wanna see?” Zack’s voice went from skeptical, to excited in a matter of seconds, temporarily throwing Cloud off. 

“You usually buy your prisoners gifts?” The blonde’s tone was lazy, and bored. He made no move to show interest, though something inside his chest fluttered at the thought of Zack caring enough to think of him. 

The SOLDIER sighed, and Cloud could hear him run an agitated hand through his hair -- a habit of Zack’s that he’d noticed meant the man was stressed. 

“Look Cloud, I’m trying here. You’re not exactly an easy person to please, and half the time, I think you’d be perfectly content if I just left you to wither away into nothing. So accept the damn gift, and please stop staring out my window like you’re about to smash it and jump.” Zack chastised, the slightest twinges of anger and desperation rising out of his voice. 

‘Not a bad idea’ Cloud’s mind offered, only half seriously. After all, if things went south, and he had no way to escape, he’d rather jump than end up a lab rat of Shinra again. He wanted to stay on his friend’s good side though, and if nothing else, he at least had one person here who he felt he could somewhat rely on. If Zack decided Cloud was more trouble than he was worth, he might very well second guess his decision to keep the blonde out of the prisoner of war accommodations. 

Very hesitantly, he got up from his perch, and made his way to where Zack was pulling objects out of the bag. 

“Good boy” Zack joked, bringing his hand up to ruffle Cloud’s hair before he even realized what he was doing. 

When the blonde’s eyes widened, and his body stiffened like someone had a gun pointed to his face, the black-haired man noticed his mistake. He pulled his hand back like he’d been burned, looking down into Cloud’s eyes like he was searching for any sign the younger was about to lash out. 

Sure, the feeling had been shocking to the blonde, but he was more startled to find that the feeling in his chest wasn’t exactly unpleasant. Rather than the thick burn of nausea that usually pooled in his gut from being touched, he felt a tightness. Cloud couldn’t tell if he despised it, or how he really felt, but it was different. He should be infuriated that the man had basically spoken to him like a pet, or even upset over the fact that Zack had violated his clear boundaries. But no, he was… fine. 

“I-- Sorry Cloudy, I wasn’t even thinking… You alright?” Zack stumbled over his words a couple times, appearing to make sure he didn’t say the wrong thing. His face looked flustered, and more than anything he seemed like he wanted to offer comfort. However, after all the time Cloud had known Zack years ago, he knew the man’s way of offering comfort was usually through skinship. The ruffling of his hair, a solid hand on his shoulder, or a firm pat on the back. These were the ways the black-haired man offered comfort to his friends. So with Cloud, he was at a complete loss, and it clearly left him feeling uncomfortable himself. 

“It’s fine.” The blonde said in a hard voice, breaking eye contact with his friend, as awkwardness surrounded him. Trying to move things along, he asked “so, what did you bring me?” 

This seemed to knock Zack out of his stupor, a soft, lopsided grin filling his features. 

“I brought--” the older man trailed off to build suspense, before yanking a few items from the bag all at once. “Movie night must haves!” 

Popcorn, and a couple different kinds of candy were plopped down on the sofa in front of where Cloud stood. For a moment, the blonde just blinked down at them, not really sure how he was supposed to react. 

“Movie night?” he asked slowly, making sure he’d heard the other man correctly. 

“Yes, movie night. I know you have been bored lately, and I’m sure there’s a lot of horrifying scenarios going through your little Chocobo head right now. This is something to help you relax.” Zack explained, not even bothering to hide his motive behind the evening's plans. “I’ve already let Angeal know, since he planned on cooking dinner for us tonight…” The black-haired man hesitated, as he continued to stare at Cloud’s blank face. “It can be just us if you’re uncomfortable, but I think being around others might do you some good.” he finished. 

The blonde thought hard for a second, weighing his options and wondering if he actually had a say in this or not. He’d done something similar with his friends in Avalanche every once in a while. They would all get together at 7th heaven -- Tifa would cook, while everyone else pitched in on bringing snacks and movie options. On a few occasions, it had actually been rather enjoyable, so maybe this wouldn’t be too bad either. 

“Others?” Cloud inquired, wanting to know exactly how many people Zack intended to allow into the blonde’s happy world of peace and quiet. It would mean more people he’d have to be alert to, and increased caution. 

“You, Gen, Ang, Seph, and myself. Seph in particular hasn’t really gotten the chance to meet you yet.” Zack listed the names of all the people who had essentially been the bane of Cloud’s existence lately. Sephiroth in particular, was the last person Cloud cared to see, for the fact that the blonde couldn’t even compose himself enough to meet the General’s gaze. 

If he wanted to show he wasn’t a threat and keep the peace though, he needed to allow small discomforts into his life. Gaining trust was the first part of his skeleton of a plan, and if he didn’t have the SOLDIER’s trust, then everything else would likely fall apart. He could get by if he continuously reminded himself that this wasn’t the Sephiroth from his memories. This Sephiroth still worked for Shinra, and seemed to have his head on right. If he wanted Cloud gone, all he had to do is wave a finger and his minions would comply -- another reason why it was so imperative for him to get on the man’s good side. 

“Do as you please,” was the blonde’s disgruntled reply. He wasn’t going to go as far as to pretend he was going to enjoy this, but he’d at least express he would allow Zack to have his way. 

“Really?” Zack’s brow arched on one side of his face, his features screaming that he didn’t believe Cloud was genuinely okay with the plans he’d made. 

The blonde grunted as he plopped down on the sofa next to the snacks his friend had bought. He couldn’t contain his curiosity for long before he picked up some kind of chocolate, and turned it over in his hands to inspect it. 

“This is your house, it’s not like I can tell you who you can and can’t have over. I’ll be fine, so do whatever you want. Don’t expect me to become all social or whatever with your friends, but I’ll tolerate them.” Cloud elaborated, his eyes still scanning over the ingredients list on the wrapper of the candy. He was so transfixed with the treat, that he almost let a growl slip from his throat when it was snatched from his hands. 

He glared up at Zack, letting the man know he was not happy to have his fascination stolen from him. However, his own glare faltered at the stern look plastered on the black-haired man’s face. 

“As happy as I am to know this arrangement won’t influence my private life, I think there’s something you don’t quite understand. Tonight’s plans are about you, not me. I’m doing this to try and make you, and everyone else not feel like we’re in a war zone in our own homes.” Seeing the defensive look on Cloud’s face, Zack continued more earnestly. “And yes, I understand this isn’t actually your home, but for right now, it is. So I want a yes or no answer to my question. Are you fine with the people I mentioned coming tonight, or not?” 

Having only been treated to Zack’s playful, and sweet side, this stricter image he was projecting made the blonde feel a little small. When the black-haired man was just trying to be his friend, he almost seemed like a pushover. However, Zack had made it very clear his kindness was not to be taken for weakness. Cloud had no doubt in his mind that it was this version of the man before him that had brought grown men to their knees. This wasn’t Zack the puppy, this was Zack the SOLDIER. The distinction between the two sides was intimidating, but allowed for a certain level of respect to be earned. 

Cloud continued to stare into the man’s intense gaze a moment longer, looking way only after he determined there was no weakness in the SOLDIER’s resolve. The staring match might as well have been a contest, and Cloud had lost. 

“Yes” The blonde grunted, never once looking back at his friend. Instead, he busied himself by picking up another package of candy from the couch, pretending the other man wasn’t even there. 

Cloud was perfectly content with the idea of sitting alone on the couch until he’d perused over the copious deserts before him. However, his breath suddenly caught sharply in his throat like there was a cold, hard stone blocking his airway. Warm fingers had looped themselves around his wrist, surely feeling the way his pulse picked up, and his tendons flexed. His gaze shot back up to Zack, who seemed very unsure of himself through his strained smile. The black-haired man moved slowly, as if afraid one sharp movement would cause Cloud to run away -- a smart assumption on his part given the blonde’s previous outbursts. 

The younger man made no move to pull away, as he swallowed hardly to try and dislodge the nerves in his chest. There was that tightness again. Still disorienting, but not uncomfortable. Cloud’s eyes traced Zack's movements with calculated precision, each twitch of the black-haired man’s hands being watched closely. The SOLDIER made no moves to try and touch him further than he’d already done, his own gaze focussed strongly on Cloud’s reactions. Carefully, Zack’s other hand moved to wear the blonde’s own rested limply in his grasp. He was gentle as he maneuvered Cloud’s hand around so it was open, before placing the chocolate he had snatched away in the younger’s palm. 

There was a moment of uncertainty as slim fingers twitched around the treat, finally closing over after Cloud realized he’d gotten the stolen item back. 

Zack’s expression was a mixture of relief, and happiness when he finally released the blonde’s wrist. He watched with interest as the appendage remained in the air for a bit, until Cloud felt comfortable enough to retract his arm, and bring the candy back to himself. 

Of the millions of things going through Cloud’s head in that moment, the one he focussed on was arguably the most ridiculous. 

He didn’t even care for sweets that much but, somehow, he felt he’d really like that simple piece of chocolate. 

\----------------------------------

In the darkness of the lower levels of the Shinra building, there resided all manner of horrifying creatures. Many of them weren’t always so monstrous in their appearance, and actions -- some had even been human at one point.

No two creations looked the same. They might have grotesque fragments of bone protruding out of their spines, or a sickly coloration of green from prolonged mako exposure. A few might have crooked limbs here and there, while others might be missing their eyes, or a finger or two. The one thing they all had in common though, was the torture they had all received at the hands of a single man. 

Professor Hojo was, by far, the most terrifying monster to behold in this little piece of hell. He may not look as ghastly, or snarl nearly as much as some of his experiments, but his cruel, unforgiving nature made up for that tenfold. The man reveled in the pained shrieks of an innocent creature’s torment as he took the being apart, and remolded them to fit the image in his head. These images he created in his sick search to form the strongest, most biologically advanced specimens on the face of Gaia. 

No other human being came close to his genius, for he truly was a man of high intelligence. But in the same token, no other human, or beast for that matter, came close to his level of savagery. Calling him psychotic was more than an understatement, as he was a man without any level of remorse, nor restraint. 

He sat in the dimly lit space of his large office. Stacks of lab results and gruesome pictures of the inner workings of his specimens were arranged neatly on his desk. His hair, tied back in a tight ponytail behind his head, was slightly greasy from neglect. In the past several days, the man had spared no time for something as meaningless as a shower. He couldn’t possibly afford such luxuries, when the greatest mystery of his career had presented itself. 

He lifted bony fingers to run over the small picture of a sleeping blonde on a patient chart in front of him. A beautiful specimen, untainted, and astonishing in its perfection. He looked at the resting face of Cloud like a lump of clay, ready to be molded into something even more magnificent. 

When the young man had first arrived, and was declared to have been taken in by one of Shinra’s little SOLDIER’s, Hojo had barely even batted an eye. He didn’t bother putting his hard work on hold to go play doctor for a meaningless boy. Instead, he’d sent one of his lab assistance to take care of it for him. He lived to regret that decision as soon as the results of the blonde’s blood tests came back. 

Not only was Cloud the perfect candidate to be a carrier of Hojo’s most brilliant creation -- S cells -- but he was, in fact, already infused with them. The boy was so far along in his enhancements, that Hojo hadn’t seen this level of compatibility in decades. 

The question’s that swarmed through the scientist’s head were never ending, and barely allowed him the chance to breathe. Was this a natural anomaly, or had someone gotten a hold of his charts on Sephiroth? Was the blonde born this way, or had he been created? What potential lied ahead for this beautiful creature. 

The thoughts made him tingle from the top of his head, to the tips of his toes from excitement over the endless possibilities. 

Ever since he’d cast his tired eyes on the file beneath his palms, he’d been fighting tooth and nail to get the boy into his medical bay. He just needed a few samples of the boy’s marvelous body: a bit of saliva, the tiniest sample of bone marrow, the slightest drop of spinal fluid. With all the talent hiding in the fortress of skin and bone, Shinra would not allow his full custody for now. That was fine though, he just needed these samples -- just a smidgen to get him started. 

With the incessant protection of Fair though, he was lucky he even still had the blonde’s file to hold onto. The annoying pest of a SOLDIER was the largest barrier that stood between him, and his prize. He’d won over Shinra’s favor with the weak claims of “not wanting to put more stress on Cloud’s mental state.” 

Hojo was determined though. His gaze was fully locked onto the precious creature, who he would ensure to be in his clutches with time. 

Patience was the game, and Cloud was the brilliant, sweet reward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter title and quote: Nobody by Besomorph and RIELL


	7. breathe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud nearly freezes to death in Zack's apartment. Zack has a secret he's keeping from everyone else regarding Cloud. Sephiroth finally get's the chance to analyze Cloud himself as movie night gets off to a rocky start. Cloud finds comfort in Zack.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to add light-hearted bits in between, but I do warn you guys that this chapter is HEAVY stuff. And holy waffles is it long. Sorry I haven't updated in a few days, because my friend was going through a hard time, and wanted to stay at my place. Please take this extra long chapter as an apology! Thank you for all of your comments, and I'll reply to as many as I can shortly. :)
> 
> **WARNING: Obvious mental health struggles, graphic depictions of blood, lots of feels, no Hojo this chapter so rest easy for now my lovely readers, very brief (kinda sad) romantic bit at the end.

I hear the sound, echoes beneath

Angels and skylines meet

And I'm straining to reach

The light on the surface, light on the other side

I feel the pages turning

I see the candle burning down

Before my eyes, before my wild eyes

I feel you holding me, tighter I cannot see

when we will finally 

breathe

\-----------------------------------------

Cloud slouched back into the couch, which he had essentially taken up residence on since being allowed to roam around the apartment. His legs were drawn up to his chest, as he tried to make himself small enough to wrap a tiny throw blanket completely around his form. While Zack prepared the house for the company they’d be having that evening, he’d put the blonde’s comforter up somewhere. So now Cloud was stuck with the short, decorative blanket to stave off the coldness wracking through his body. 

He couldn’t, for the life of him, understand why the black-haired man liked to keep his apartment so chilled. Cloud had tried several times to locate the thermostat, but after coming up empty each time, he had to assume it was in Zack’s room. That was the one place in the large space he hadn’t dared to traverse yet, not wanting his friend to feel his privacy was invaded. 

There was also the fact that Zack’s bedroom was the strongest source of his scent. Anytime Cloud walked past it, his nose was overcome with sensory overload from the nostalgic smell. Most of the time, the blonde’s enhancements helped him. They made him stronger, faster, and more in tune with his environment. However, in instances like this one, Cloud’s strong sense of smell only made sharing a space with Zack more challenging. 

When he was a member of Avalanche, most of his companions were understanding of his sensitivities. None of them truly understood what it felt like, but they had at least tried to sympathize with him. Cloud could not stand perfumes, or the strong aromatics most people wore to increase their attraction. Tifa even kept her bedroom door closed most hours of the day, so he could feel as comfortable as possible in his own home. He took relative comfort in the fact that seventh heaven, after years of him living in it, was covered in his own scent. It helped to drown out those of others. 

Here in Zack’s apartment -- where he’d only been living for around a week -- he could smell nothing other than the black-haired man’s unique scent. It wasn’t as if the SOLDIER smelt bad, but it forced up old memories, most not very pleasant. Not to mention the unsettling feeling of being unable to smell anything else from the strength of it. It would take about a month for him to become fully adjusted to it, but by then, Cloud hoped to have Shinra in his rear view mirror. 

A slight twinge of loss felt like pressure in his chest when he thought of leaving Zack behind. Several times in a day, he had to remind himself that this Zack may be his Zack, but he wasn’t REALLY. This wasn’t the man who’d gone through hell and back with Cloud, he was just another version of his best friend. Even so, the black-haired man who’d been so kind to him the past several days carried the same face, and exuberant personality as the man in his memories. It hurt, but when did anything in Cloud’s screwed up life not hurt?

As if hearing the blonde’s thoughts about him, Zack walked out of the hallway and into the sitting room. He ran his fingers through his hair again, queuing Cloud in that something was stressing him out. 

“Something wrong?” the younger asked, hands pulling the blanket up closer to his chin as a shiver went through his body. 

Zack glanced at him, before letting his eyes scan over the room, a sigh falling from his lips. “You haven’t seen my PHS by chance, have you? I had it on me, like, ten minutes ago, but I must have set… You good, Spike?” the black-haired man paused his words when his eyes finally focussed on the blonde, namely the blanket he was clinging to. 

“No, I haven’t seen it” Cloud replied, ignoring the man’s inquiry, and staring at the coffee table in front of him. Warm thoughts, he had to think warm thoughts. 

“Are you, by chance, cold?” Zack pressed, his brows knitting together as he tried to figure out why the blonde was curled into a ball on his couch. 

“‘M fine” Cloud mumbled, his body betraying him when another shiver decided to force its way through him. 

“Okay, then you wouldn’t mind if I turned the thermostat down a bit?” Zack’s hands came up to rest on his hips, a knowing look plastered on his face. 

Cloud twitched in irritation this time rather than from chills. His eyes narrowed, as he turned his sharp glare in the black-haired man’s direction. If looks could kill, Zack would be dead and buried already. 

“Don’t you fucking dare.” The blonde growled, ready to fight the older man if he so much as made a single move to go turn the air down further. 

“Why does it matter if you’re ‘not cold’” the older man teased, making exaggerated air quotes in front of him while he used Cloud’s words against him. 

“I’m not Cold!... I’m chilly, there’s a difference” Cloud defended his position until the end, not willing to be caught in his lies. 

Cloud could practically hear Zack’s eyes roll in his head at the insistent denials. Without saying anything further, the black-haired man exited the room. The blonde could hear his friend’s bedroom door open, followed by a few clicks and a soft rumbling that signified the air conditioner had been shut off. That confirmed Cloud’s suspicions about the location of the thermostat -- not that it helped him any considering he still wouldn’t be going into that bedroom. 

When Zack returned, he breezed past Cloud, heading in the direction of the kitchen. The man was more than likely still continuing the search for his PHS, the blonde having no intention of interrupting him. Despite his companion being perfectly content on sitting in silence and enjoying the warmth rapidly spreading through his body, Zack decided he was going to keep talking. It made sense though, since the black-haired man had never been one to like quietude. Even when he’d carried a half-comatose Cloud across all creation for a year, the blonde could still vaguely remember Zack always talking to him. Even when his friend knew he wasn’t going to get a reply, he still spoke to fill the silence. 

“I usually keep it quite cool in here because most of the time I’m all sweaty and hot when I get home from assignments.” The older man explained, cursing after a loud crashing sound resonated from the kitchen. “I also tend to sleep with a lot of blankets, so I don’t even feel the cold at night. I’m fairly used to it, but I should have expected it might be too low of a temperature for you. Ang complains about it always being ‘sub zero’ in my home.” Zack finished, before letting out a loud exclamation of triumph. 

His head popped out of the kitchen, face beaming with a smile in Cloud’s direction as he shook his PHS in his hand. 

Cloud nodded, his lips twitching upwards a bit at Zack’s excitement. The blanket the blonde had rested around his shoulders slipped down into his lap. This time he didn’t even bother picking it back up, since the air conditioner was no longer threatening to give him frostbite. Cloud could only imagine how high Zack’s body temperature must be for the man to be completely unfazed. 

The black-haired man opened his mouth to say something else, when the device in his grip pinged loudly. His jaw closed back up as he brought the screen to his face, eyes skimming over the message he’d received. 

“Angeal said he’ll be here in a little while, and wants to know if you drink.” Zack announced, looking up at Cloud with his fingers splayed over the keypad. 

Technically, the blonde did drink, but he was not too keen on the idea of accepting alcohol from someone he hardly knew. Coming to a decision, Cloud shook his head no with a grunt. 

Zack took a few seconds to type out the message, the soft sound of it sending filling the silence at the end. Afterwards, he put the device in the pocket of his pants, and looked around as if to make sure everything was in place. 

“I was about to go take a shower, but you can get in first if you want. I’m about to run downstairs real quick to take care of something for work.” Zack announced, reaching out to grab some of his effects off a small table by the door. “There’s some clothes in the guest room, but most of them are just some old sleep attire. If you don’t like anything in there, help yourself to my closet.” He pointed in the general direction of his bedroom as he pulled on a pair of shoes. 

Cloud was suddenly reminded of something he’d completely forgotten about in the midst of the chaos. He decided to ask Zack about it before it slipped from his mind again. 

“What happened to the clothes I arrived in?” 

Zack’s mouth made an ‘o’ shape as he turned back around to answer the blonde’s question. “They were covered in dirt and blood, so I asked Angeal to wash them for you. I doubt combat clothes are very comfortable to wear for a night in, but I’ll ask if he can bring them back with him tonight.” 

Normally Cloud felt more comfortable in the protective wear than he did in civvies, but he doubted that would be the case now. If Angeal had washed his clothes, then the detergent would more than likely irritate Cloud’s already aggravated nose. 

Once Zack had closed the front door behind him, the blonde decided to take advantage of the shower. He felt disgusting considering it had been so long since he’d had a good cleanse. With the lack of dirt on his body when he’d first woken up here, it didn’t escape his notice that he’d been hosed down while unconscious. In Cloud’s experience though, he found that not thinking about things that only served to bother you, tended to be more productive. 

He stood with a shallow groan, picking the blanket up off of the floor and folding it over lazily, before throwing it on the back of the couch. 

\-----------------------------------------------

Zack walked down the halls of the large Shinra building, his body rigid with the stress he’d had to endure the past week. The black-haired man had always prided himself on his ability to read people, and Cloud was no exception. He’d learned the appropriate mannerisms needed to keep the blonde from lashing out at him. He’d learned how to calm the man’s mind, even without Cloud knowing he was doing so. However, that didn’t make his new roommate any less unpredictable. Sure, once Cloud began showing signs of stress, Zack might be able to act accordingly. But the problem arose when the SOLDIER had no idea when the blonde would act up, or what would be the cause of it. 

It was unnerving, to say the least, that Cloud was a completely random individual, whose triggers and moods seemed to shift every day. However, the worst of it all wasn’t even dealing with the blonde’s mood swings, or strange behavior. The worst thing in this whole situation was trying to keep the peace outside of his home. Half of the higher ups in Shinra were panicking over the possibility of SOLDIERs being produced by the enemy. The other half could only think of Cloud as a potential tool, which they were more than eager to add to their collection. As if that wasn’t already annoying, the science department had been a major pain in Zack’s ass. 

He stared down at the message from Lazard again, grumbling under his breath from irritation. 

‘Hojo is pressing the president for a transfer of rights. You’re going to need to fill out an accountability form, and documentation to secure yourself as the singular contract holder.’

The head of the science department, Professor Hojo, had been a thorn in Zack’s side since Cloud had arrived. The black-haired man wasn’t stupid, he knew the blonde he’d been harboring was different from himself, and other SOLDIERs. The scientist’s interest was cause for concern, as everyone knew to stay as far away from Hojo as possible. 

Apparently, the man was now pressing to have rights over Cloud’s rehabilitation, and entry into Shinra. Zack would be damned if he’d let that happen, but he’d been hoping it wouldn’t come down to this. The only way to make Hojo’s efforts obsolete, was for him to sign an accountability form, which could prove to be trouble down the road. The second his name was on that paper, he was swearing that whatever happened to Cloud, or whatever trouble the blonde got himself into, would fall back on Zack. 

In other words, if Cloud happened to harm someone, then the black-haired man could find himself on the end of major legal implications. It was a huge risk on his part, but the only thing that could keep the blonde safe for the time being. 

He wanted to hurry to Lazard’s office, and signed the cursed papers before Angeal arrived. If the man knew his protege was putting himself at risk like this, he’d definitely have a few choice words for Zack. That wasn’t to say Angeal didn’t want to try and protect Cloud as well, it was simply that the older male would not approve of things that could harm Zack. 

Zack, however, wouldn’t even consider doing this if he didn’t have the utmost faith that Cloud was not as dangerous as people feared. Sure, he was different, and clearly hadn’t come about his enhancement by normal means. The blonde may be aloof, and bad at communicating, as well as highly guarded -- but that didn’t mean he was someone to be written off as a common criminal. As far as anyone knew, Cloud could be completely innocent, 

Being different shouldn’t beget indifference. 

As Zack approached the door of the SOLDIER director, he rubbed his clammy hands on his pants, before softly wrapping on the metal. 

“It’s open” came the reply from inside. 

Lazard was definitely a man with a regal presence -- very similar to Genesis, in fact, with softer undertones. His wide, square jaw was set tight as his pen moved over the documents on the desk in front of him. His dark-blonde hair looked a little messy, probably from the added workload as of late. The glasses he’d usually keep tight on his face had slipped a bit down his nose, revealing his drooping eyes. 

Lazard glanced up briefly the first time, his gaze shifting back quickly when he realized it was Zack standing before him. 

“Zack, I hadn’t expected you to come so quickly… I supposed it was foolish for me to assume you’d think this over more before settling on any decisions.” Lazard seemed, not surprised, but perhaps a bit apprehensive. 

Zack chuckled nervously, scratching the back of his head before regarding the man. “Yah, well, you know me. I’m more about just… going for it I guess.” He spoke, trying not to think of the lecture he was going to get when this circled back around to Angeal. 

Lazard’s features visibly darkened at the young SOLDIER’s reply. He lifted his pen from the paper, bringing the hand that held it up to push his glasses closer to his face. 

“Before I give you the documentation… Zack, you need to be absolutely sure that this is something you fully understand. As soon as your name is on the paper, you become accountable for ALL of that young man’s actions at Shinra. At least until he gains his own footing in the ranks. That means his screw ups become yours. This isn’t like Angeal putting his reputation on the line when he decided to train you, this is you putting everything on the line. How well do you even know this kid?” Lazard quizzed, his exasperation finally making its way into his voice, even if it wasn’t all too visible on his face. 

“I…” Zack had to think for a second, because he truly didn’t know Cloud all that well, which made this decision all the worse. If there was one thing he believed in though, it was his gut feeling and instincts, which all told him to trust in the blonde. “I’ll be honest with you, sir. I don’t know him too well as a person, but I know he’s not a bad kid. Frustrated, sure. Scared, absolutely. But not bad. I wouldn’t be here right now if everything in me didn’t say that he needs me.” 

Lazard’s face contorted into one of disbelief, his mouth opening to refute Zack’s strong claims. However, Zack beat him to the punch, wanting to get everything out before judgement was passed. 

“Yes, I understand that once I sign the accountability form, that his faults become mine. However, it also means I have access to everything that pertains to him, on top of him staying under my roof. Even when he is issued a Shinra security card, and allowed free roam, he won’t be able to sneeze without me knowing. Everything that he does, from riding the elevator, to using the computers, all of it will be sent to me. Which means I’ll have my eyes on him to make sure he’s staying out of trouble. If…” Zack’s words got caught in his throat, the thoughts of what could happen to Cloud causing his chest to tighten. “If I don’t do this, then he gets shipped off to Hojo’s labs, where they’ll fuck him up more than he already is. The last thing they do down there is respect people’s boundaries. Cloud will be treated less as a human, and more as a means to gathering data -- a living textbook of the utmost interest as far as Hojo is concerned. And by the time Cloud has lost his mysteries, and usefulness, I doubt he’ll even be Cloud anymore.” 

“I strongly advise you not to go slinging around such accusations about one of Shinra’s branches outside of this room.” Lazard's tone was strict, yet tired, and Zack knew he’d already won. 

The man sighed deeply, opening one of the drawers on his desk to pull out the forms Zack needed. He went to hand the young SOLDIER his pen, snatching it back right before the black-haired man’s fingers could touch it. 

“I hope you don’t live to regret this decision, and I’m not even going to ask whether or not you’ve talked to Angeal about this. You’re finally where you’ve been striving to be since you first arrived at Shinra, I’d hate to see you lose it all over this kid. And I really hope your faith in him isn’t misplaced.” Lazard finished, finally placing the pen in Zack’s hand and pushing the documents towards him. 

As Zack scrawled his name next to the little ‘x’ at the bottom of the page, all he could seem to think was, ‘yah, me too.’

\------------------------------------------

When Cloud stepped out of the bathroom after his shower, the first thing he noticed was how much the apartment had warmed up. Rather than feeling like he was running around on the northern continent without clothes, he now felt fairly comfortable. It wasn’t blazingly hot like he’d grown accustomed to, living in Edge, but it was about the same as when he’d been a kid living in Nibleheim. Cool, but not uncomfortably so. 

The second thing he noticed was he was no longer alone in the home, if the sounds of pans clinking in the kitchen was any indication. He moved cautiously towards the opening of the room, careful to make sure his footfalls were soft on the ground. The towel he had used to dry off was tucking into his hands, which were only slightly covered by the long sleeved shirt he wore. Cloud assumed the clothes he’d been borrowing were Zack’s old clothes which made sense why they were much larger on his slimmer, shorter stature. The outfit he wore almost made him look like he should be part of the living room decor. The shirt being a deep shade of navy blue, and the sweats he wore almost mirroring the last pair in a slightly darker shade of gray. 

The cuffs of the pants dragged a bit on the floor, hanging very loosely on his hips. The shirt slipped off one of his shoulders, making the sleeve on that side engulf his hand entirely. He felt very childish swimming in the baggy fabric, but if nothing else, he was rather comfortable. 

As he approached the entrance to the kitchen, he was immediately assaulted by the smell of garlic and onion cooking in a pan. The two aromatics being cooked together was so satisfying, especially when it drowned out most of the other smells in the apartment. He took in the tall form of Angeal, with his back facing where Cloud stood. The muscles in his back flexed with each movement he made, once again reminding the blonde of how well trained Angeal must be. The t-shirt the man wore was tight, the black fabric stretching firmly over each contour in his body. 

Angeal seemed to finish what he was working on, as he finally turned around to face in Cloud’s direction. He nearly jumped a mile when he took in the blonde’s expressionless features standing before him. A long breath released from his tense body, as he placed a bowl on the island to his right. 

“Cloud, you startled me. Is everything alright?” Angeal asked him, trying to gauge exactly why Cloud had just been standing behind him without making a sound. The raven was clearly unsettled, but didn’t want to seem rude. 

Unfortunately, their new company, who even Cloud hadn’t heard coming, didn’t worry about things like rudeness. 

“Quit being creepy blondy.” Genesis’s voice rang out next to him. 

It was Cloud’s turn to jump, and jump he did, about three feet in the opposite direction of Genesis’s voice. Once he felt he was safely out of reach, he finally sent a searing glare the redhead’s way. 

Genesis ignored him, opting to join Angeal in the kitchen. A moment later, the raven could be heard grumbling begrudgingly at his colleague.

“I’m not about to do this with you Gen, if you can’t keep your hands out of the food until it’s done, then go sit in the living room.” Angeal warned, before moving the bowl Genesis had stuck his fingers in to a different location in the kitchen. 

That only earned a grunt from the redhead, who looked thoughtfully around them. 

“Where’s Zack?” he inquired, after establishing he couldn’t feel the black-haired man’s presence anywhere. 

“I sent him a message asking the same thing. He said there was something he had to take care of with Lazard, and that he was on his way back up. He’ll probably be here any minute, so would you please get off of the counter?” Angeal’s eyes never turned back on Genesis, yet somehow he knew the man had made a seat out of the marble countertop. 

They spoke so freely with each other, completely comfortable with one another’s presence. Cloud, who had removed himself from the area, felt completely out of place. He was just… there. An extra piece in their otherwise peaceful lives, who was valued even less than the couch he sat on. Hell, if someone decided to pull a gun on him right now, and shoot him in the head, Cloud doubted anyone at Shinra would even care. And if they did, it would be for the loss of his usefulness, and nothing more. Cloud was used to it though. That was always the extent of his value, after all, no matter where he found himself. People cared about him back home, but not in the sense that they’d be personally upset if Cloud were to drop dead. They cared about his survival, simply because it helped ensure their own. About the only people who would truly be torn, were Tifa, and the kids, and perhaps Barret. Which reminded Cloud… Didn’t he technically die where he came from? The irony in all of this was, his existence had been wiped from the one place who valued him, and been reborn in the one place he’d never existed. It all kind of made his head hurt, his fingers coming up to press the bone of his brow. 

“Oh, Cloud.” Angeal’s voice called out after he’d gone about swatting Genesis off of Zack’s countertop. 

Cloud turned his head a bit to show he was listening, but otherwise made no move to strike a conversation. 

“Zack told me you were looking for your clothes, so I set them on the bed of your room.” Angeal finished quickly, before turning his attention back on whatever Genesis was doing now. 

Not even bothering to say anything, Cloud stood up from the seat in Zack’s living room he’d grown quite fond of. He made his way back down the hall, and into the room which had been the source of his nightmares upon his first arrival. True to Angeal’s words, laying on the bed was his outfit, pauldrons, sword harness, and all. The sight of his harness without anything to hold was rather sad, but at least he still had it. If need be, he could remake a sword similar to First Tsurugi in style -- though he knew no sword would ever truly come close to the one he’d had. 

Lifting the shoulder pauldrons and harnessing off of the garments, Cloud took notice of a crumpling sound coming from under everything. He lifted the clothing up as well, setting it aside for the time being until he was ready to get back to it. Underneath of all his gear, was a bag of rice crackers with a sticky note attached. 

‘I know how sensitive an enhanced sense of smell can be, so I used a scentless detergent.’ 

It took a second for Cloud to realize something. In all of the times that he’d been around Angeal, he’d never noticed any sort of strong scent coming from the man. Zack, absolutely. Genesis, definitely. But Angeal, never. Of course the man probably had his own, light scent, but he’d never been close enough to Cloud for the blonde to smell him. At least, not when Cloud was in a sound state of mind enough to focus on finding a scent. 

Was Angeal, by any chance, as sensitive to smells as he was? Mako tended to pick and choose what to strengthen in each person, meaning not every SOLDIER would be created the same. Some were like Genesis, and gifted with the natural ability to eliminate their presence. Others were gifted with strong instinct, and natural talent like Zack had always shown. Some had good hearing, or sharper reflexes, but all exhibited strength more so in a specific area. All SOLDIER’s had a bit of a sensitivity outside of the norm as far as scent went, but none the blonde had met so far had seemed quite as disturbed about smell as Cloud. But maybe Angeal did.

This had something fluttery building in Cloud’s chest. Was it perhaps… a bit of elation over the fact that he’d found something relatable between himself and another? Cloud was no idiot, he’d always known he was different from everyone around him. Most days, this didn’t bother him, but this was the first time in a long time he’d actually felt like he wasn’t as much of a freak as he knew he was. 

Shaking his head to try and rid himself of the unfamiliar feelings, he set the gifted crackers to the side to focus on the reason he’d come in here in the first place. He picked up his sweater-like top from the bed, unzipping the front of it all the way so that he had better access. He felt around inside the shirt, until he came upon the hidden pocket he’d known was there. 

Because of the location of the pocket -- and the fact that 90% of his uniform was adorned with some form of metallic attachment -- he wasn’t too surprised to see the bengal still there. The cool feel of the piece sent a slight, soothing feeling through him. It was as if it was the real deal version of one of those charms sold in pawn shops, which claimed to help relieve stress. The bengal was small, and held no significance to Cloud, yet for some reason he really liked having it in his palm. 

Taking in a shaky breath to help relieve the rest of the nerves he hadn’t known were coursing through him, Cloud placed the bengal into the pocket of his sweatpants. He didn’t want to wear it in case Zack and his company decided to ask questions Cloud couldn’t answer. But he also took comfort in knowing it was on his person. 

Just as he was folding the sweater back up, a knock wrapped on the doorframe to the room, drawing his attention to the intruder. 

Zack stood there with a gentle smile, his arms crossing over his chest as he looked Cloud up and down. 

“You look like a kid playing dress up, Spike.” he mused, his voice laced with humor. 

Cloud, however, didn’t find it funny in the least, having half a mind to strip and throw the clothes in Zack’s face. Instead, he settled for his award winning glare, before ignoring the black-haired man completely in favor of finishing his organizing. 

If Zack noticed the foul mood he’d induced in Cloud, he didn’t comment on it, instead moving on to the next thing he wanted to say.

“So, question.” Zack started, moving closer to Cloud, who stiffened at the proximity. 

Just because he’d allowed the man to touch him way more than would normally be okay with the blonde, that didn’t mean Cloud wanted his boundaries violated. But Zack made sure to stay a good distance away at the younger man’s side, so Cloud let it be. He let out a grunt, so the black-haired man knew he was listening, though there was no promise he’d answer. 

“I’ve seen a lot of harnesses over the years, from sheaths like Seph uses for his katana, to magnetic grips, and simple latches. But I’ve never seen one quite like this.” Zack mused, before lifting Cloud’s complex harness for Tsurugi off the bed. He turned it over in his hands, making sure to be careful with it as he went along with his exploration. His face was one of confusion, as he took in the sheer number of buckles and clips. “It’s very complex, like it was made with a lot of care, and thought put in.” The black-haired man remarked, before his eyes met Cloud’s, who was quick to look away. 

The blonde thought for a minute, wondering if he had anything to lose from sharing a bit of useless information with Zack. It wasn’t like telling the man about his weapon would reveal anything, except perhaps hint to what kind of fighting style Cloud had. However, if the man had been paying attention at all to his skirmish with Genesis the other night, then he probably already had an idea of how Cloud fought. Finally, the blonde decided it wouldn’t hurt to answer Zack’s inquiries. 

“It is… It was the harness for my fusion sword. A buster sword made of multiple, interlocking blades.” Cloud began, all whilst continuing to check over the damage done to his gear. “I commissioned it from a friend I met whilst traveling. He… was always very attentive to the finer details. His way of making weaponry was unique, in that each one he designed was made to fit the owner perfectly.”

Zack was silent for a minute, looking thoughtfully down out the harness for a moment longer, before placing it back on the bed. 

“So, even you managed to make a friend.” He joked, no malice behind his words, even if the rubbed Cloud the wrong way. 

In his frustration from the insult, Cloud found himself revealing more than he’d intended. “Well, he’s dead. So it doesn’t really matter anyways.” Which wasn’t a lie, as Cloud could barely even conjure up the image of the older man in his head anymore. The only thing he really remembered about the grouchy blacksmith, was the scars that riddled his hands after years of weapon-making. Some of them were burn scars from the heated metal, others were from cuts as a result of a slip of the fingers. But all of them together made for an interesting plethora of jagged lines and raised marks on the man’s skin. 

Zack hummed thoughtfully, his eyes downcasting a bit from visible sadness. The man’s heart was always worn on his sleeve, which almost made Cloud mad at him for some unknown reason. Perhaps it was because Cloud himself had always felt the more you hide, the better off you are. 

Thankfully, Zack seemed finished with his line of questions, instead turning to head back for the door. 

“I’m gonna go try and help Angeal out in the kitchen,” Zack’s eyes flicked to the bag of crackers laying, forgotten, on the bed. “Come on back out when you’re done in here. I promise, none of us bite.” The black-haired man finished, before walking back down the hall. 

Cloud stood for a moment, feeling doubtful that what Zack had said was true. Genesis, at least, seemed daring enough to actually bite someone. In fact, the blonde had no doubt it was something the redheaded man was probably reprimanded for as a child. 

The thought actually caused the ghost of a smile to grace his features, as he envisioned a mini Genesis baring his teeth at the other kids and chasing them around. It was a rather comical image, in an unsettling sort of way. 

Even if Cloud was content with hiding out away from everyone for the evening, he knew doing so would upset Zack. After all, the man had given him a chance to back out if he didn’t want to be around the others. If Cloud were to slink off to his own little corner somewhere, the black-haired man would surely be disappointed in him…

Not that Cloud cared, of course! He just needed to gain enough trust to get them to let their guard down…

Cloud let out a frustrated grunt, before allowing the pauldron he’d been fiddling with to fall back on top of his neatly folded clothes. He gathered up his courage, pushing all of the thoughts rattling his brain back down. When he felt he’d composed himself enough to maintain his stern visage, he finally let the room. 

By the time he made it back out into the sitting area, everyone was already there. This included, much to Cloud’s great discomfort, the silver-haired General who’d grace one too many of his nightmares. His back straightened all of its own accord, a deep frown pressing itself into his brow. There was no way he felt he could let his guard down completely, but he’d try his best not to make it glaringly obvious how uncomfortable the man made him. 

Sephiroth was leaning against the frame to the entrance of the kitchen, staring in with his typical, guarded expression. Inside, Cloud could see Angeal at the stove, stirring something together in a large pot. Zack was busying himself by washing dirty dishes, clearly not trusted enough by his mentor to actually cook anything. Genesis wore a triumphant look, as he continued to sit on the counter Angeal had tried to force him down from. His hands were full with blueberries, which he snacked on as he watched his comrades move about. 

The only thing going through Cloud’s mind, was how glaringly obvious it was that there was no place for him here. Each of the men seemed to fall into a routine comfort around one another, no doubt brought on by years of trust. Cloud was the odd man out -- the stranger who’d been thrust into their lives, and caused worry and frustration. 

The blonde had never been one to care too much about fitting in, not since his days in the infantry, where he’d seeked to gain approval. But right now, he felt like an outcast among outcasts. It was enough to know that even around SOLDIERs, he couldn’t seem to feign normalcy. 

No, he couldn’t allow himself to be overcome by the petty thoughts forcing themselves to the forefront of his mind. He knew better than that, and had to keep himself at an arm's distance anyways. Growing attached led to unnecessary heartache, which had no room in Cloud’s life. He’d learned well enough over the years that nothing good every came from allowing emotion to cloud reason, and judgement. 

Just as he was turning around to go find somewhere else to sit, Angeal called out to him -- he must have caught Cloud’s retreating form out of the corner of his eye. 

“Hey, Cloud, your timing is perfect. Would you mind helping me cut these up?” He asked, pointing to a few vegetables sitting on the counter next to him. 

Cloud hesitated for a minute as all eyes were drawn to him, making him feel like an animal on display at a zoo. Zack merely glanced back at him from where he stood, a reassuring smile gracing his features. Genesis slowed his chewing from where he sat on the counter, looking back and forth between the snack in his hand, and Cloud. Sephiroth, on the other hand, seemed perfectly content with pinning the blonde with an intense stare. It felt like the silver-haired man’s eyes were trying to drill a hole in Cloud’s very being. This made the younger very uncomfortable, but he wasn’t about to show any kind of weakness before this man. 

Instead of giving in to every instinct that told him to run away, he kept his eyes straight ahead and marched right into the kitchen. If Angeal wanted him to cut vegetables, then he was going to cut some fucking vegetables. 

For a moment, he stared down at the ensemble of peppers, zucchini, and tomato, simply admiring the bright color. It’s been a long time since he’d truly taken in such bright hues of yellow and green, without them being tainted by greys and dark crimson. His spine snapped straight when the glint of a knife shifted in his peripheral, but if Angeal noticed, he didn’t comment on it. Instead, he carefully -- very carefully, as if second guessing his decision -- placed the blade before Cloud. 

The blonde’s fingers curled a bit at his sides, the shock of seeing a knife, and of Angeal getting dangerously close to his bubble of comfort making him apprehensive. He allowed all thought to melt away in a quiet haze, before he reached his hand out to the handle. 

Genesis and Zack chatted about something behind him, but Cloud couldn’t even hear it. He was lost in the sensation of Sephiroth’s tight gaze, and Angeal’s close proximity. Even though he was the one with the weapon, he couldn’t help but feel like he’d allowed himself to be cornered. It was a feeling that left his stomach bubbling with the nausea he’d grown accustomed to. That was always the first sign Cloud wasn’t feeling right -- serving as a warning to him that he needed to force his feelings back down. 

Which is exactly what he did as he reached out for the first pepper, his slim fingers nimbly moving it into position. He cut the top off, before removing the seeds from the inside with careful attention to detail. The slightly grassy smell that hit his nose was welcomed, as it drowned out the multiple scents around him. By the gods was his mind racing a thousand miles a minute today, his body attuned to every single movement, and aroma around him. It produced a sickening headache behind his eyes, and made his skin feel hot to the touch. He almost found himself wishing the apartment was back to being an icebox, because at least then he’d have something else to focus on. 

Pretty soon, his ears were ringing, and about halfway through cutting up the vegetables, his eyes began to blur with unfocus. His mind was drifting, and the hairs on his skin stood to attention as goosebumps broke out on his flesh. He wasn’t cold though, actually, he felt like he was burning. This was a feeling he’d grown all too accustomed to -- one that generally presented itself when Cloud became overwhelmed. It was one of dread, and panic, which came with the onslaught of overactive thoughts that assaulted his mind on the daily. The only thing that could break him from the haze of his increasing heart rate, and painfully queasy cramping, was…

Cloud hissed at the sting that finally tore him out of his unwelcomed stupor. He stared at the ribbons of red that began to fall down his pointer finger, and drip onto the counter. He stared at it, but didn’t quite register it. He knew he was bleeding, that it was his life making little plipping noises as it spilled from his veins. But even so, it was like a drug that had washed away all caring from his body. It became the ice that finally chilled him, as if the heat built up in his body was escaping through the wound. 

All he could do was stare at it, transfixed and completely calm. It was like the liquid was dancing down his hand, teasingly slow, before painting a picture in the marble. What kind of picture would it be? Would it be sad? Or perhaps one of exhilarating beauty? 

As the scent of iron mixed with the juicy acidity of tomato, and strong grassiness of the peppers, he found himself envisioning all the bodies he’d seen lying, forgotten, over all areas of Gaia. The picture wasn’t beautiful at all: it was ugly, rancid, and repugnant. 

“-oud…” 

He wanted to change the picture so badly; remold it into something more than what it appeared. Why could he only produce the workings of nightmares, rather than something that would reveal the humanity lurking beneath his rough exterior? 

“Cloud!” 

He jolted in his spot, his vision finally able to take in the puddle his bleeding finger had created on the counter. It had begun to spill over the edge, making little trails down the side of the surface. 

A curse erupted from his throat, as he reached out for a paper towel. He completely ignored the sting in his finger, instead setting to work on cleaning Zack’s kitchen. Somehow, he didn’t think bleeding all over the place would help with his image.

His breath caught in his throat suddenly, his form instinctively stumbling back as a shadow filled the corner of his vision. Zack stood before him, a concerned look etched on his face as he tried his best to not reach out to Cloud. 

The blonde swallowed the thickness in his throat, realizing that while cleaning the counter, his finger continued to drip onto the floor. 

Angeal took over where Cloud had been scrubbing at the counter, a wet washcloth wiping away any evidence of his blunder. Genesis came up behind Angeal, reaching around the man to grab a paper towel to dry the area off. 

Cloud’s breaths continued to come out in pants as he gripped his own, crimson-stained paper towel in his injured hand. The action caused more of the liquid to rush out of the wound, which in turn had Zack looking even more worried. 

“Hey, Cloud…” the black-haired man rushed, trying to diffuse the situation, and reaching a slow hand out to Cloud’s injury. “It’s okay, just… would you let me help you.” 

Cloud took another step back, his eyes narrowing dangerously at the thought of letting someone close to his injury -- even if it was Zack. 

“No one is upset, accidents happen, but I’d like to make sure you don’t need stitches and… you know, maybe stop you from bleeding all over the place.” Zack explained further, taking another cautious step towards Cloud, hands out as he slowly closed in. 

Cloud couldn’t deny that he did feel a little bad. He was literally “bleeding all over the place,” as Zack had so eloquently put it. Tifa had tended to his wounds plenty of times, and that had never caused him any harm. It would be a little hard to take care of a cut on his finger, since usually wrapping something up required the use of both hands. 

As Zack finally closed the last of the distance between them, he let out a relieved sigh. He was quick to wrap the hand towel in his grasp around Cloud’s injury. His brows were furrowed with clear worry, as he pulled the blonde over to the corner of the kitchen where the light was better. 

“Angeal, could you please bring me the first aid kit out from under the sink?” Zack asked politely, his voice calm, and composed. 

Angeal hummed his response, bending over to rummage through the compartment underneath of the sink as directed. He rose up a few minutes later with a small, red box in tow, before walking over to where Zack was carefully dabbing at Cloud’s sliced finger. 

He set the kit down, but loomed over Zack’s back to take in the injury himself. 

“You’re as helpless as Zack in the kitchen, no more vegetable chopping for you.” Genesis joked, as he finally finished cleaning the mess Cloud had made. 

Cloud paid him no mind though, his eyes transfixed on the delicate way Zack assessed his wound. The blonde’s whole hand had been stained with red trails, as some of the blood had begun to dry before being wiped away. The cut itself was about an inch long, trailing from one side of his finger to the other. It was relatively deep, but not cause for concern enough to need stitches. Cloud knew this within the first couple seconds of looking at it, yet Zack still seemed to be analyzing it carefully. 

The black-haired man’s fingers were cool, and a bit clammy from working with the dishes. It sent a shiver up Cloud’s spine, as he tried to ignore the fact that he was so close to another being. Why was it that Zack was able to so easily break down his tight defenses, and push his boundaries? Almost every person who dared get too close to him was swiftly put in their place, but not Zack. 

Finally, the SOLDIER gripping his hand hummed thoughtfully, before reaching into the medical kit Angeal had brought over. He took out a disinfectant wipe, along with antibiotic cream, and gauze. Tearing the package for the wipe open, he glanced up from the wound, staring into Cloud’s eyes. 

“Little sting” He warned softly, before dabbing his torn flesh with the moistened towelette. 

Cloud did feel the sharp sensation of the cut being purged of any potential infection, but didn’t move. He’d suffered literally being stabbed through like a pin cushion before, so this was hardly anything. 

After cleaning the cut itself, Zack used the wipe to scrub away any stains on his hands, before pushing it back into its wrapping to be thrown away. Next he dabbed a bit of the cream on, before taking the gauze and unraveling a small strip. His other hand preoccupied on holding Cloud’s still, Zack used his teeth to tear the cloth. When he finally got it around Cloud’s finger, he set to work wrapping it firmly. Once at the end of the strip, he tore it in half down the middle a couple inches in, and used it to tie a little bow on Cloud’s finger. 

“There.” He smiled down at Cloud proudly, finally releasing the blonde’s hand, which fell back down to his side limply. “I think Gen is right though, probably best to keep you away from vegetable cutting.” Zack remarked with a chuckle, as he turned to go put the first aid kit away. 

He bumped into Angeal with a surprised gasp, his eyes going wide for a split second. 

“Holy f--! Why are you standing so close to me?” Zack exclaimed, before walking around the man quickly. 

Cloud swore he saw the ghost of a… cocky smirk? Angeal definitely seemed pleased with the flustered way Zack was grumbling under his breath. Cloud had always thought the cockiness, and proud attitude was more Genesis’s forte, but perhaps Angeal had a teasing side as well. 

“Cloud” A deep voice rose up for the first time that evening, and made Cloud bristle a bit from the sinister familiarity leaking into his consciousness. 

He turned his attention to Sephiroth, who hadn’t moved from his spot against the doorframe the entire time. He simply stood there, looking over everything with a domineering sort of presence.

It pissed Cloud off. 

Not because the blonde had wanted him to help, but because of the sheer arrogance that always seemed to take permanent residence behind Sephiroth’s eyes. 

“Would you come with me? I think it best if we stay out of the way while they finish up here.” Sephiroth asked, though there was no room for objection in his voice. It was as much an order as it was an expression of goodwill, in that it gave him a chance to leave willingly. 

Cloud stood still for a moment, using his eyes to search Sephiroth’s own, before deciding he’d rather get out of the stuffy kitchen anyways. Besides, just because he was leaving with the general, didn’t mean he had to talk to the man. If nothing else, this was his chance to escape the uncomfortableness he’d caused to settle over the room. 

He made no move to say anything, simply walking towards the entrance and past the silver-haired man without much thought. He could feel Zack’s eyes on him as he left, as if he wanted to reach out and stop Cloud from leaving. But he knew, as well as everyone else, that it was best if the blonde went to calm down for a minute. 

Cloud could hear the light footfalls of combat boots behind him, letting him know Sephiroth was indeed leaving with him. The younger man moved around the sofa in the sitting room, before settling in the spot that he was now certain he’d claimed as his own. He stopped himself from drawing his legs up, no matter how much he wanted to close in on himself. Any sign of weakness around a man like Sephiroth was dangerous, and he wouldn’t allow it. 

Instead, he took to resting his head on a tight fist as Sephiroth sat in one of the cushioned chairs adjacent to the couch Cloud rested on.

Good, this was good. The silence was a bit awkward, but it was better than meaningless banter that would only make Cloud more tense. 

“I realize we might not have met on the best terms.” 

Oh for fucks sake. Cloud just couldn’t get a break, could he? Then again, the Sephiroth he remembered always was rather talkative when they were fighting. He just loved to say anything and everything that would rile Cloud up. Seems like that bit is still the same, considering just hearing the silver-haired man’s voice alone annoyed him. 

‘I’ve thought of a wonderful present for you…’ the memories brought on by that voice echoed in his ears.

“However, I’d like to make it known that none of us bear you any ill intent” Sephiroth continued.

‘Shall I give you despair?’ the Sephiroth in Cloud’s thoughts was trying so hard to drown out the man speaking next to him. 

“Zack especially seems quite fond of you, and I trust his judgement.”

‘Tell me what you cherish most…’ the voice in his mind was getting louder and louder, making his brow crease with discomfort as he tried to force it back down -- back to where it belonged. 

“So, although I won’t say that I harbor no concerns, I will say my door is always open if you need to speak with me.”

‘Give me the pleasure of taking it away’ The voice was so loud now, that Cloud couldn’t even hear himself thinking. He brought a stiff hand up to fiddle with his spiked hair, trying to focus on the sensation as a distraction. 

“As I understand it, your circumstances have left everyone, including myself, rather confused. I know you probably don’t trust us very much, but I will stress we are the people you should be trusting right now. We’ll keep you safe from the darker faces of Shinra, but you have to start meeting us in the middle, Cloud. Trust is a two way street.” Sephiroth finished, his voice a bit heavy from sharing more words in the past minute than he usually did in a week. 

‘I will never be a memory’ the last words played in his mind, riling him up, before tearing him down. 

A shuddered breath escaped his lips, too quiet for normal ears, but very clearly caught by Sephiroth, who examined the blonde’s pale face. 

Just as soon as the little bit of emotion slipped into Cloud’s stoic features -- that little hint of the inner turmoil he was suffering from -- it was gone. In its place, was a cold, and exhausted look, which Sephiroth recognized all too well. Emotion clearing was a trick he used quite often when he needed to keep a level head. The best way to instill fear into your enemies, was to make them think you had no feelings, and nothing to lose. After all, a heartless foe was one who could do anything without care. 

Comfort wasn’t Sephiroth’s strength. Yes, he knew how to comfort Angeal, Genesis, and Zack. But that was only after all of the years he’d spent with them. He knew the individual needs of each of them, tailored to their personality traits. Zack drew comfort from skinship, and closeness. Angeal from the scents brought on by his closeness. And Genesis drew from combat, and muscle movement. 

Cloud was, once again, an enigma to Sephiroth, who could only look on with a sense of pity. The kind of damage that had to be done to someone to bring them to such a state was gut wrenching. He should know, because he’d lived through his fair share of suffering. 

However… Sephiroth supposed that if Cloud was similar to him, in that sense, then the best comfort the general could offer was silence. The blonde needed time to sort through the struggles in his head, which meant there really wasn’t much Sephiroth could do to help, other than offer his presence. 

Each day, it appeared Cloud would need different types of care. He wasn’t black or white like the other three. One day, he might relax after sparing with Genesis, another, he might calm down after having a conversation, and some, he might just need to feel the existence of another close by. 

One thing Sephiroth was fairly certain of though, was that Cloud wasn’t a danger to them any more than a Cloud floating through the sky. Sure, some days he might grow angry like the roaring thunder, and have outbursts. But he’d never actually try to harm anyone who didn’t try to harm him. Cloud was the definition of a defensive fighter, only going offensive when he felt there was something to protect. 

He could understand Zack’s protectiveness of the blonde, because more than anything, it seemed Cloud was used to being the protector. The need to protect himself, or the need to protect others. He wasn’t used to leaning on anyone but himself for support, which was… rather sad. 

But Sephiroth already knew, the only thing he could do right now, was stay quiet, and simply exist next to the blonde. 

\-----------------------------------

“Alright, what are we watching?” Zack asked, finally sitting down on the couch with his dinner in hand. 

Sephiroth took residence in one of the chairs, Genesis filling the other. That left Angeal on one side of the couch, with Zack sitting in the middle, next to Cloud, who practically pushed himself into the edge of the arm. Recognizing the signs of the blonde’s stress, Zack inched a bit closer to Angeal, who curiously looked down at him with his mouth full. 

Zack rolled his eyes, while picking up the remote for the TV from the cluttered table in front of him. 

“Is there anything you like to watch, Cloudy?” He asked, trying to distract Cloud with questions like he usually did. 

They’d all clearly taken to their own ways of pulling Cloud out of his thoughts, which Zack would give anything to hear most days. If he knew what the blonde was thinking, he might have a better idea of how to help. 

Angeal veered closer to giving Cloud tasks, in order to busy him. Genesis, ever the exuberant one, clearly preferred throwing fists. Sephiroth was the only one who seemed content with letting Cloud sort through things himself, only pulling him away from others when he felt he needed it. 

Even if things hadn’t gone how Zack had hoped thus far, he took comfort in knowing everyone was making an effort. He could live with that for now, and deal with problems as they presented themselves. 

He understood, trust was earned, not given. 

Cloud looked up from where he’d been playing with the fraying end of the gauze bandage Zack had wrapped around his finger. The black-haired man paid close attention to each of his mannerisms, content that Cloud seemed relatively calm. 

The blonde shook his head, his attention focussing on an ad that danced across the television. It was one with Sephiroth in it, advertising for SOLDIER recruits as if it were some tropical getaway. The lines of men marching on the screen was highly edited, and not at all what real squadrons looked like in SOLDIER. The infantry maybe, but once you were enhanced, you were lucky to work in a three man cell. Most assignments were given based on ability by rank, and individual. Some required more manpower, but most of the time SOLDIERs were sent off in two’s, or alone. Unless they were shipped out to assist in war efforts, or be the backup for another team. 

The purpose of the ad was to glorify camaraderie though, and most of the men who came in wouldn’t end up in SOLDIER anyways. If they had some talent, they’d join the infantry. Only those who showed extreme promise were introduced to the harshness of mako injections. If they survived them, then they’d start the vicious climb to first, where they’d hope to make a name for themselves. Less than 10% of each year's recruits made it into SOLDIER, while less than 1% would make it all the way to first class. 

Still, in lieu of the commercial -- and the fact that Shinra almost certainly wanted Cloud in their ranks at this point -- he couldn’t help the question that spilled from his lips.

“Have you ever considered trying to join SOLDIER?” 

The room grew eerily quiet -- save for the commercial on the TV -- as Cloud stilled, and everyone else held their breath in anticipation for his answer. 

A wide range of emotions flashed through Cloud’s eyes, as if they suddenly became a palette for his innermost thoughts. There were so many, that Zack couldn’t even begin to decipher them all. So he waited as patiently as he could, hoping Cloud would share something, anything, with him. 

“A long time ago, yes,” finally fell from Cloud’s lips, his eyes finally settling back into their calm demeanor. 

“But not anymore?” Genesis pushed, which had Angeal subtly kicking his leg. 

There was a certain point at which things should no longer be pursued, but Genesis wasn’t always as delicate with these subjects as his presence might suggest he’d be. Even so, the question was already out there, so they could only see if Cloud would elaborate, or close up completely. 

“No” was his final, hard response. 

So it was the latter. He had no care for trying to clear their curiosities, and no one could force it out of him. Trying to do so would only cause the blonde to retreat back even further. 

“I just thought of a movie” Angeal interrupted, much to Zack’s relief. 

The black-haired man passed the remote to his mentor, who took it with a nod of thanks. They all settled into the action packed movie on the screen, softly critiquing the main character’s fighting every once in a while. As it neared the end, Zack’s eyes had started to droop, as he looked over to where Cloud was sitting. 

His head was slumped over, blonde spikes wilting to cover his face while soft snores escaped his mouth. Even his sleeping was as quiet as his movements throughout the day, which made a small smile stretch over Zack’s face. He himself decided to lean against Angeal, the man grunting before shifting a bit to make room for the younger. He was so tired from the day’s events, that he couldn’t stop his eyes from closing if he wanted to. 

\-------------------------------

Rather than fabrications, Cloud’s dreams were full of memories that night. 

Sweat poured down his face, soaking the collar of the infantry uniform he donned. Everywhere he looked, he saw fire licking the houses of his hometown -- shrill screams ringing out from the flames as the people inside were burned alive. His chest heaved with each searing, painful breath, smoke filling his lungs heavily. It felt suffocating, and made his bottom lip quiver with absolute terror. 

He was torn. 

Torn between wanting to stay where he sat, collapsed to his knees on the cold, hard ground -- quickly becoming soft as the heat from the fire sunk deeper. And torn between wanting to run, to do something, anything. Fight or flight. The most primal, innate response that all living creatures had. He’d been presented with the challenge of the two multiple times throughout his life, but none of those times could quite compare to now. 

Suddenly, as if the planet were reading his thoughts, a familiar hand clamped down on his shoulder, shocking him out of his panicked haze. 

“Hey, hey there Cloudy, it’s okay.” Zack soothed, even as the cut in his head oozed blood out down his face and over his lips. His features were streaked with dirt and soot, his body shaking with strain from inhaling the burnt fumes. 

Cloud couldn't help the way he sagged with relief at seeing his best friend. Nor could he prevent himself from finally breaking down, choked sobs leaving his weakened body. 

“Zack” his voice was almost a whine, as he tried to form the words on his tongue “I’m scared.” He finished, ashamed to admit that even as part of Shinra’s military, he’d been broken down. He was terrified, and could no longer contain the bitterness of sheer terror wrapping around his every nerve. 

“I know…” Zack was interrupted a bit by a cough rising up out of his chest, before he finally caught his breath enough to continue. “I know you are, that’s okay. It’s okay to be scared. You know what, I’m going to tell you a little secret.” Zack leaned in, trying to pass off the way his voice lowered as telling Cloud a secret, rather than it being because he was having a hard time staying conscious. “I’m scared too. In fact, I’m scared all the time, but you can’t let those fears get the better of you. So I need you to be brave for me, do you know how to do that?” Zack asked, his brow creasing with concentration as he fought to stay focussed. 

Cloud shook his head, his body trembling as he struggled to listen to Zack’s words. 

“You can still be brave, even when you’re so scared you want to run away. Cause you see, being brave means doing what you have to, even when it absolutely terrifies you.” Zack grunted as a wave of pain went through his bruised abdomen, causing him to double over for a second from strain. He couldn’t be like this though, he couldn’t be weak in front of Cloud, who relied so heavily on him right now. The black-haired man forced himself to straighten his spine, giving the best smile he could muster under the circumstances. 

“I need you to get up now, Spike. We’ve gotta move, otherwise things are going to get real bad.” Zack stood, reaching a hand out to Cloud’s slumped form. “Trust me, I’ll keep you safe.” 

Cloud hesitantly reached his hand out to wrap his fingers around Zack’s own. The man hefted him to his feet, before Cloud stumbled when his legs threatened to give back out. 

“I’ll protect you, no matter what, so just lean on me, okay?” Zack finished, allowing Cloud to lean his body against his broader form; tucked safely into his side. 

Cloud opened his eyes, taking in the darkness of the room around him. It took a second for his mind to comprehend that he had fallen asleep during the movie. Soft snores could be heard next to him, before he turned his head to take in the two sitting next to him. Angeal rested back against the couch, his head tilted back as soft breaths escaped his lips. Zack was laying against his mentor, his head on Angeal’s lap, while he laid on his back with one leg tucked under his other straightened one. His feet were just barely touching Cloud’s thigh, twitching a bit when the blonde moved slightly. 

Cloud looked up apprehensively, taking in the sight of Genesis, whose legs were wrapped over one arm of the cushioned chair, while his head rested against the other. Sephiroth sat across from him, only slightly slumped as his head leaned against his hand -- elbow pressing into the chair’s arm. 

It all seemed so mundane, yet Cloud felt cold, and vulnerable and…

He turned his attention back to Zack, who grunted a bit in his sleep, face scrunching before settling back into a peaceful state. 

Cloud’s chest hammered, a shuddered breath escaping him from the memories that had caused him such mental turmoil. 

“Zack” Cloud spoke the man’s name, his voice sounding so much like the pitiful whimper from when he was much younger. “I’m scared,” he mirrored the words of a weaker version of himself, not feeling any of the strength he possessed right now. It felt like he was a kid again, unable to protect anyone, including himself. 

Unable to control the turmoil of emotions pooling into his mind, he slowly scooted closer to the black-haired man, who remained completely still. He hesitated a second when he felt the heat wafting off of Zack’s muscled body, doubt there in an instant and gone the next when he finally gave into the need. 

Cloud pressed himself between the soft back of the couch, and Zack’s side, curling himself into the man, who groaned a bit from the disturbance. Cloud tried to keep as much distance as his suffering mind would allow, only getting close enough to feel his friend’s warmth. He took in Zack’s smell: warm cedar, that sweet scent he finally recognized as being very similar to vanilla, and, of course, the unique smell of Zack’s skin. It was entrancing, and comforting -- much different feeling than it had given him earlier in the day, when all he wanted to do was avoid it. Now he found himself sinking his nose into the soft fabric of Zack’s t-shirt, just hoping to take in more of it. 

As he finally drifted into a blissfully dreamless rest, he was unaware of two green, slit-pupiled eyes, focussing calmly on him from the chair adjacent to the couch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter title and quote: Breathe by Fleurie


	8. I found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud wakes up and moves before anyone else can see him with Zack, and runs into Sephiroth. Angeal and Genesis have a conversation, and fun time together. Sephiroth confronts Zack about Cloud's actions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Uhg, I know I'm the worst. I had a bit of writers block, and then I the new semester started, and I had to read a ton of my professors syllabi and yah. But here is a new chapter! I don't know how well you guys will like it, but I hope it is somewhat interesting. :)
> 
> **WARNINGS: mentions of mental health problems, steamy guy on guy action (blowjob).** 
> 
> If you do not wish to read the sexy scene, then please pay attention to this symbol (!!) It will let you know when to stop reading, and when to start again.

And I’ll use you as a makeshift gauge

Of how much to give and how much to take

I’ll use you as a warning sign

That if you talk enough sense then you’ll lose your mind

\-------------------------------------------------------------

As Cloud began to wake up from the absolute best sleep he’d had in a long time, the first thing he noticed was how warm his body was. The heat wrapping around his thin frame was borderline sweltering -- dancing on a fine line between being comfortable, and overwhelming. A barely audible groan escaped his lips, as he shifted to try and settle back into a better position. 

It was pointless though, because once Cloud was awake, it would be near possible for him to fall back to sleep. His eyes cracked open, and he found himself stifling a grunt when he saw the sun hadn’t even come up completely yet. He was relatively used to this by now though, his nights usually ending before the “night” was technically over. 

Cloud flexed the muscles in his abdomen with a little stretch, before finally deciding to plant himself up on one elbow. Something wasn’t right though, because his pillow groaned in discomfort when his elbow dug into it. Looking down, the blonde bit his lip to try and cover the shock he experienced. 

Zack was asleep on the sofa, with Cloud all but sprawled across his large form. Memories from the night before played behind his eyes, and for once he found himself thanking the gods for waking him up so early. Had he slept in like he wished he could, then the other men in the room might have seen his compromising position. 

And compromising it was. 

His leg was wrapped securely around Zack’s waist, their torso’s pressed together. His fingers were latched firmly in the material of the black-haired man’s shirt, making it look like he was clinging on for dear life. He carefully shifted most of his weight off his elbow, holding his breath when Zack let out another deep grunt of discomfort. Quickly, and smoothly, he used his upper body to swing himself into a sitting position, before stepping out onto the cool floor. His feet made a soft noise as they came into contact with the ground but, otherwise, his dismount had remained silent. 

Letting out a relieved sigh, Cloud allowed himself to come down from the adrenaline rush. Barely even awake and he was already finding himself in less than savory situations -- that couldn’t be a good sign for the rest of the day ahead of him. He took a moment to scan his surroundings, noting with satisfaction that no one seemed to have moved from their positions the night before. If anyone had moved around too much, it definitely would have woken him up, as Cloud was an extremely light sleeper. But it was still relieving to know everyone was exactly where he’d left them when his eyes closed. The last thing he wanted was to have to explain himself to the four men in the room, as to why he fell asleep on Zack. Especially when he didn’t quite understand it himself. 

Cloud took notice of the way his bladder was twinging with the need to empty its contents. As he made his way to the bathroom, it felt like he was walking through a minefield. There were objects strewn about, including a discarded bag of popcorn, empty beer cans, and candy wrappers. The bathroom wasn’t much better, as he noted, with a shake of his head, that Zack’s outfit from the day before rested in a heap on the floor. 

Seriously, these were supposed to be some of the strongest faces of Shinra’s military, and they threw stuff around like children. 

Cloud quickly relieved himself, angrily shoving the clothing out of his path with his foot when the pile nearly caused his sluggish body to trip. As he washed his hands, he looked up at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were tired, but no more than usual. The blue irises shined brilliantly with mako, which helped to hide the exhaustion that resided there. He’d slept better than normal, but it didn’t seem like any amount of rest could truly satiate him anymore. 

Cloud had always hated how feminine his features appeared. It was one of the biggest things he’d been teased for during his youth. His softly curving Jaw led into a dull point at his chin, rather than being sharp and angular like the men who surrounded him. His cheeks were full, and slightly flushed, with a small, straight nose in the middle. Lips were full and pink, coming to a smoothly curved cupid’s bow. His bottom lip was quite a bit thicker than the top one, making it look as though he had a permanent pout. Lastly were his eyes -- large, and very obvious on his small face, while curtained by thick, long lashes. 

If anyone were to give a description of him, without revealing his gender, people would naturally assume him to be a girl. Even his hair -- which wasn’t really that long -- was silky and pale in color, softening his already gentle appearance further. For fucks sake, he didn’t even have height on his side, with his head only rising to 5’7” (5’9” if you counted the spiked peaks of his hair, which he tended to do so). 

The only thing intimidating about Cloud strife, was the permanent glare attached to his face -- darkening his otherwise bright features. It was another reason he’d always been so against smiling, since the hard look in his eyes helped keep people at an arm's length. Back in Edge, he already had his reputation to attest to his strength, but here, nobody knew who he was, and what he was capable of. Cloud didn’t want a single person to think for one second that he was an easy opponent. Just because he didn’t have bulging muscles and sharp, overly masculine features, didn’t mean he could be made to bow before another.

Cloud was brought back to reality by a burning sensation wrapping around his curled hands. He took notice of the way the mirror had fogged with steam, the water running through his fingers scorching hot. He shut the faucet off, and grabbed the hand towel next to the sink so he could dry himself off. The bandage Zack had wrapped around his finger was wilting from being completely drenched. 

Cloud ripped it off, examining how the cut had already mostly closed itself. His ability to heal had always been exceptional, even for an enhanced individual. 

He cast one last disdainful glance at his reflection in the mirror, before letting out a sigh and deciding to busy himself while everyone slept. He bent over to pick up the clothes off the floor, dropping them off in a half-full basket next to the linen closet. After that, he set to work quietly maneuvering around the apartment to clean up all of the trash from the night before. Despite his displeasure in cleaning up after others, it was a welcomed distraction to all the thoughts going through his head. 

The way he moved around -- discarding various items from the floor, and wiping down counters -- reminded him a lot of cleaning up after Denzel and Marlene. The two had always seemed to leave a trail of messiness everywhere they went, but that was kids for you. Cloud couldn’t prevent the twinge of sadness that crept into his chest when he thought of his makeshift family. Sure, nothing about the life he’d built with Tifa had ever been perfect, but it had still been his. Now, the blonde didn’t really have a life at all. There were no records of him to be heard of, and his entire existence had remained locked in this little apartment. 

Cloud scrubbed up the last of the dishes from dinner, setting them gently on a towel to dry off. With that, the apartment was arguably as clean as it could be with everyone still sleeping, and Cloud had nothing to do. The blonde dried his hands free of the soapy water, before daring to glance into Zack’s fridge. He’d never been one to go rifling through other people’s homes, but his throat burned with the need for a drink. He was quick to spot a container of some kind of tropical juice, prompting him to grab it off the shelf. He uncapped the beverage, lifting the opening to his nose to take a couple of short sniffs. His eyes widened a fraction in surprise from how much it reminded him of the juice he’d buy for Tifa when he was in Costa Del Sol. Just the small wiff he got of its delicious aroma reminded him of gently curving waves, warm sand, and salty breezes. 

Glancing around himself like he was about to commit some kind of crime, Cloud pulled a small glass out from the cupboard above the sink. He didn’t want to take too much of the juice, since it obviously didn’t belong to him, but he was more than eager to feel the cold liquid on his tongue. One sip of it had him holding back a moan at the way all of his muscles relaxed from familiarity. He could feel content like this, just closing his eyes and pretending he was on a delivery run along the sandy beaches. The taste was a mixture of a lot of flavors: Acidic sweetness brought on by traces of pineapple and mango, creamness from spiced coconut milk, and the barest hint of tartness from a splash of lime. The color of it was even similar to the juice he loved, vibrantly casting a pale-orange glow on his palm, as the sun peeked through the kitchen blinds and rested on the glass.

Cloud allowed his body to slump against the counter, deep breaths filtering through his nose as his nerves finally settled. He felt content, relaxed, and amazingly satisfied with the cool chill of morning. 

“You seem to be enjoying yourself” a hushed, yet husky voice regarded him from the entryway to the kitchen. 

And there went Cloud’s peace, flitting away like a rapidly fading dream. He kept his body posture relaxed, despite everything in him wanting to rear up and prepare for a fight. His eyes opened carefully to regard the bulky frame of Sephiroth filling the doorway. Cloud resisted the urge to say ‘I was until you showed up,’ opting for bitter silence instead. 

If the lack of response bothered the general, he didn’t say anything, as he moved closer into the kitchen. Much like Cloud had, he went straight for the fridge and pulled out a drink. When he closed the door back over though, his hand held a bottle of water rather than the fruity beverage Cloud’s doned. 

“Did you sleep well?” The silver-haired man pressed, finally asking Cloud a question directly. Something in his voice was vaguely off, sending a chill up the blonde man’s spine. 

“Same as always” Cloud muttered, bringing the cup he held to the edge of his lips as a distraction. 

Every fiber of his being told him to end the man before him. How easy it would be to smash the frigid glass in his palm, and get it warm with the demon’s blood. He could do it. All it would take is three simple movements: Smash, rush, slash. However, a little niggling in the back of his mind reminded him that firstly, he’d probably never make it out of Shinra before getting shot on spot. Secondly, he doubted it would be as simple as that with Sephiroth, who refused to stay dead no matter how many times Cloud ended him. And the third -- the part of him that refused to hurt the innocent -- reminded him that this Sephiroth hadn’t done anything yet. Was it so bold of him to hope the silver-haired man in this place would never become the murderer who’d ended thousands of lives. All this Sephiroth had done in his life was protect Midgar and its people. If Cloud murdered him in cold blood, without any proof that he would become the Sephiroth from his nightmares, did that make Cloud himself the monster?

The moral dilemma was frustrating to say the least, and definitely put a stop to any movement he might have made to harm the general. 

“Same as always, huh?” There was a slight pause after Sephiroth repeated Cloud’s words, making the blonde still. “I can understand that. I myself don’t usually find sleep easily, and often stare at the ceiling more hours than I spend resting.” He finished, taking in a few heavy gulps of water from the plastic bottle in his grasp. 

When Cloud made no move to keep the conversation going again, Sephiroth once more asked him a question. 

“How do you manage to bring sleep?” The silver-haired man asked, his cat-like eyes never leaving Cloud. It was as if he was trying to learn everything about the blonde, from his posture, to his movements. 

Cloud thought about the question for a second, taking in a long, steady breath through his nose. Most nights, the blonde didn’t really sleep, or rather, he couldn’t manage to stay asleep. He also tended to remain in a game of gambling every night, as to whether he would have a dreamless rest, or one full of grim nightmares. Last night had been a rare occurrence, which Cloud preferred to wave off as a mixture of overexhaustion, mental strife, and his sleepy stupor. 

It was extremely rare for the blonde male to cling to another for comfort like that. So rare, in fact, that he could count the times he’d seeked comfort from someone else's closeness on one hand. Most of those occurrences had also been when he was younger, and not yet settled into his role in the world. In the past couple of years of his life, not once did he even turn to Tifa for physical comfort, as he found himself to be all that he needed. Hell, he didn’t even like being stuck in his own skin most days, let alone craving the touch of another.

The last thing Cloud wanted to do was tell the silver-haired general the only reason he actually slept last night was because of his clingy actions. Therefore, he settled for a more fitting answer. 

“I don’t” 

Sephiroth seemed to regard him with a look of interest for a fraction of a second, before his features relaxed. 

“Interesting, then perhaps we are more alike than I previously believed.” Sephiroth concluded, placing his, now empty, water bottle in the trash can. 

Cloud still clung to his half full glass of juice, his fingers turning white with the force at which he now gripped it. He did NOT want to be compared to Sephiroth. The inability to find proper sleep was not something that could be used to compare the two. Most people who partook in efforts on the battlefield had a difficult time drifting off peacefully. Yet the general made it sound like they were kin in their torment. 

“Hardly” Cloud practically hissed the reply, mentally berating himself for his momentary loss of composure. 

“Hm” Sephiroth hummed in thought, his eyes closed over with no obvious intent to leave just yet “There’s nothing wrong with seeking solace from other’s. I’d even go as far as to say it is necessary from time to time.” 

‘You are the reason I am uncomfortable right now’ Cloud thought to himself, not daring to speak the words aloud. At the same time, he had to push down a twinge of fear that perhaps Sephiroth HAD seen him with Zack last night. The General did say he had a hard time sleeping, and that sentence could imply he knew more than he was letting on. However, Cloud refused to believe that for the sheer level of discomfort it brought in him. Besides, Sephiroth had never been one to beat around the bush about things. If there was some shortcoming he noticed about the blonde, he always took deep pleasure in exploiting it. Additionally, Cloud’s instincts were hardly ever wrong, and the silver-haired man appeared to be in a restful sleep last night when Cloud woke from his nightmare. 

Sensing the way the blonde’s thoughts were beginning to overwhelm him, Sephiroth finally decided it was time to back off. This method of push and pull was the best way of getting information out of people, but it also came with a cost. If one pushed too much, and didn’t know when to pull back, then the person of interest would easily retreat further away. In order to dig his way deeper into Cloud’s mind, he needed to know when to stop pressing him. For now, the one he needed to have a serious conversation with was Zack. And since the black-haired man was taking a temporary break to help cloud adjust, chances were he wouldn’t be awake for another couple of hours. 

Sighing, Sephiroth pushed off of where he leaned back against the counter, giving a little nod of his head in Cloud’s direction. 

“As much as I have enjoyed our small conversation this morning, I have business I must attend to, so I will leave now. I hope to speak with you a bit more later, Cloud.” He spoke politely, turning to leave the room. 

The way Cloud’s name rolled off the demon’s tongue caused everything in the blonde’s body to go haywire. His stomach lurched with a sudden cramp, that had him bending over slightly, and placing his glass on the counter with a loud ‘clink.’ A dry heave escaped his lips, making bile rise up and burn the back of his scratchy throat. 

He hadn’t even realized how much being in a room with the general affected him. His mind had forced him to remain composed, until he was finally left to his privacy. Now that he was alone once more, his composure shattered like a bullet hitting thin glass. His hands were shaking, making him grasp at his left wrist to try and stop the violent tremors. The pain in his body was nothing compared to the borderline unbearable agony of his mental state. Cloud refused to accept his weakness though, keeping his eyes set in a stubborn glare ahead. His eyes flared brilliantly with his determination to force it all back down -- green flares of light causing shadows to be cast before him. With a large amount of willpower, he was quickly able to stop the shaking, and stabilize his aching stomach. 

‘That’s right. You don’t need to rely on Zack to keep you calm, you just need to stop being weak.’ The voice in the back of his mind reminded him, his back beginning to straighten to his usual, stiff posture. 

It was only a matter of time now. He just needed to gain a bit more freedom, so that he could start devising his plan for escape. He knew what most floors of the Shinra building looked like, and could map them out in his head from memory. He knew the wide air ducts that would allow him to avoid people, and the far off stairwells that always remained dead. He was currently housed in one of the higher floors though, which he was completely unfamiliar with. He just needed to wait a little longer -- gain a bit more trust from the four men who held him on this tight leash. Then he could slip away before anyone even noticed he was missing. 

“You only need yourself -- only rely on yourself,” Cloud whispered out loud. Whether it was a simple reminder for his wavering mind, or a more aggressive approach at trying to convince himself, he did not know. 

\--------------------------

Zack awoke to his name being called by a familiar, deep voice. His groan had a slight whine to it, as he tried to dig himself further into the couch to return to his blissful sleep. His deranged mentor, on the other hand, had other ideas for his pupil. 

With a yelp, Zack abruptly found himself lying on the floor instead of the plush cushions. He blinked the confusion out of his sleep muddled head, and stared up with a betrayed look at Angeal. The raven didn’t appear the least bit fazed at tossing the younger male to the floor before he even had a chance to wake up. Instead, he stretched his arms over his head, and let out a deep yawn. The yawn soon turned into a grunt when his back popped loudly. 

“You sound like an old man,” Zack pointed out in a teasing voice, before taking to stretching his own stiff body. 

“The only reason I sound like this, Zack, is because someone decided to sleep on me all night.” Angeal countered, though his face softened a bit when he saw Zack grimace as he stood from the ground. 

The black haired man looked around, taking notice of two things. One, Sephiroth had already left before the rest of them woke up, and two, the apartment was clean. He thought for sure he’d have an absolute disaster to wake up to this morning. Zack knew how he and the others paid little regard to cleaning up after themselves when they were enjoying one another’s company. He also distinctly remembered tossing a half-empty bag of popcorn onto the floor last night when nobody else wanted to take it. 

Wait, make that three things he noticed, because he suddenly realized a certain blonde was missing as well. His heart thudded loudly in his chest, while he began searching around the apartment. The kitchen was empty, the bathroom, empty, his room, empty. The last place he looked was at the end of the hall, where the blonde had originally been staying. Zack honestly didn’t think Cloud would spend too much time in this room, considering how long he’d been trapped in it, and how he constantly avoided sleeping in it. However, he let out a relieved sigh when he opened the door and saw Cloud fiddling with his clothing on the bed. 

The blonde looked up for a second, before going back to neatly buffing out dents in his shoulder pauldron. He seemed to wait patiently for Zack to say whatever it is he came to talk about, his fingers moving delicately over smooth metal and leather. 

“Hey, Cloudy. Sorry, didn’t mean to barge in on you so suddenly, I just noticed you weren’t in the living room and…” Zack paused, realizing the sentence he’d compiled in his head might be taken the wrong way. Unfortunately for him, Cloud was rather good at filling in the unsaid words himself. 

“You were worried I ran off.” the blonde stated, never once flinching or showing any sort of expression that would give away his inner thoughts. 

Zack ran stressed fingers through his hair, not missing the way Cloud’s eyes flickered to briefly watch the action. 

“Rest assured, Zack, I don’t feel like getting stopped in the hall again by the General anytime soon.” 

Zack did a double take at the sentence. Was Cloud… comforting him? From anyone else, the reassurance might have been a trivial thing. Coming from Cloud though, a man who hardly uttered more than two words in a single day… well, it was a bit shocking. 

Zack didn’t want to dwell on it for fear that it would cause the blonde to retreat back to a reclusive state. Instead, he decided to ask Cloud about the apartment. 

“By the way, did you clean up the apartment this morning? I know for a fact that it was a disaster last night, but now it’s spotless.” 

Cloud paused the hands moving over the leather buckles of the equipment in his lap. He stared at the wall ahead for a moment, his lips tilting downwards the slightest bit. It was as if he were trying to contemplate whether or not he should answer the question. After a bit of silence, the blonde looked back down at his gear, and continued fiddling with the buckles. 

At first, Zack thought he wasn’t going to get an answer, but just before anything else could escape his lips, Cloud’s gentle voice filled the room. 

“I did, but don’t get used to it. I’m not your maid,” was the short response the blonde gave. 

“I didn’t plan on making you clean up after me.” Zack laughed nervously, scratching the back of his head in the process. “I’m grateful, but why did you even bother? It’s not like you really had any part in making the mess.” 

The black-haired man was confused. One minute the blonde wanted nothing to do with him, and was shooting glares out of his eyes like lasers. Then the next he was offering small words of comfort, and cleaning up his apartment. Did Cloud not realize the mixed signals he was giving? Or maybe he was just the type of person who acted based on how they feel on a particular day? 

Or… just maybe the blonde is a kinder person than he wanted people to believe. 

You have people like Zack, who wear their emotions and kind words on their sleeve. The black-haired man was excitable, and nice to virtually everyone until they gave him a reason not to be. 

Then you had people like Angeal who showed kindness through gentle actions, and small gestures. The raven was more tempered, and subtle with his expressions, but was only that way with people he actually cared about. 

Genesis was the kind who showed his fondness of people through aggressive means. He hates a lot of people, and tolerates a handful. Those who are really close to him are the select few who see his teasing, and playful side. As for the rest, he always remains cordial, kind, and well mannered. In other words, the nicer he is to you, the more he dislikes you. His way of expressing care could be anything from attacking you, to forcing you to comply with things that are beneficial to your wellbeing. 

Sephiroth had always been a bit strange, and difficult to break down, but when he cares about you, you just… know. 

Cloud was, once again, an anomaly. It was difficult to tell if he was genuinely trying to be nice, or just in a good mood. Actually, was Cloud ever in a good mood?

Well, Zack had always been the head-on-approach kind of guy, what better way to find out than to just ask. 

“You seem to be in a good mood today?” Zack worded it like an uncertain question, being sure to watch Cloud closely. 

The blonde once again stilled his ministrations, the pauldron being set down gently on the bed. He finally turned his head to make eye contact with Zack, who couldn’t help feeling his chest flutter at the adorable expression. Cloud’s brow was pinched with confusion, little wrinkles maring his perfect complexion. His head was tilted the slightest bit to the side, while his lips almost seemed to be pouting with his concentration. 

When Cloud spoke, the sound of his voice was almost shocking to Zack, who had been completely focussed on the blonde’s face. 

“Not any more than usual… why?” 

Zack had expected Cloud to be defensive, but instead, he seemed unsure of himself. A slight slip in his composure, that allowed for an insecurity that Zack hadn’t seen before. Cloud always walked around, confident, and, if nothing else, defensive of himself. Reclusiveness was not to be confused with lack of confidence. However, this new expression from Cloud was a bit startling. 

“No reason, you just seem calm.” Zack tried to remedy the situation, not wanting to make the blonde feel uncomfortable. 

It seemed to work, or perhaps Cloud just regained his composure, because his face fell back into its stoic demeanor. The black-haired man would be lying though if he said he didn’t miss the adorable pout of pink lips. He mentally punched himself for his stupidity, while pushing down the unfamiliar emotions flooding his chest. 

“I’m just focussed on getting this stuff fixed up.” the blonde said, turning his attention back to the task at hand. 

“Oh? Well once you do, we should go--” Zack didn’t get to finish when Angeal decided to grace them with his presence. 

“Zack, Seph wants to talk to you. He asked me to relay the message.” The raven announced, his eyes glancing over at Cloud, who paid neither of them any attention. 

“Did he mention what it was about?” Zack asked. 

Angeal finally tore his gaze from Cloud to regard his student. “No, he just said he needed to speak as soon as it was convenient for you. He won’t be available after eleven though, so you should probably go now.” 

Since Zack didn’t know what the conversation was supposed to entail, Angeal was right about him needing to go now. If he arrived too close to the time when Sephiroth had to attend to his duties, their conversation might be rushed. It was already almost 9:30, and the general did not appreciate last minute agendas. 

“Alright, let me just wash up and get dressed.” Zack then turned his attention to Cloud, who still kept his eyes glued to his moving fingers. “See you later Spike, maybe you can bully Angeal into hanging out with you today.” The black haired man joked, but only received a nod of acknowledgement from the blonde. 

So much for him opening up a bit more, Zack might have burned that bridge today with one sentence.   
\----------------------------

“Is everything alright? I just saw the puppy leave like someone lit Firaga under his ass.” Genesis quizzed Angeal when he made his way back down the hall from Cloud’s room. 

The blonde seemed to be in a mood, and the raven did not want to exacerbate the situation. As it was, Cloud had probably had enough social interaction from the previous night he spent with them. 

“Yah, everything is fine. Zack needed to go speak with Seph, and I’m sure if it’s anything terribly important, then we’ll find out soon enough.” Angeal answered, making his way into Zack’s kitchen to make himself a much needed cup of coffee. 

He stretched his body as he waited for the espresso machine to do its job, his body sore from the position he slept in the night before. It wasn’t that he minded Zack falling asleep on him, the younger man did it quite often. But for some reason, this morning he woke up feeling like he’d had two Zacks laying in his lap last night. It didn’t help matters that his neck was agonizingly stiff from leaning back against the couch in his seated position. 

He jolted when lean arms wrapped around him from behind, and a red-crowned head rested on his shoulder. 

“You seem out of sorts this morning, darling.” Genesis purred in his ear, making a full-body shiver quake through the older SOLDIER’s body.

“Just a bit sore” Angeal mumbled, subconsciously leaning back into the welcoming embrace. “Zack decided to use me as his personal body pillow last night, and I woke up a little stiff.” 

Genesis hummed deeply in Angeal’s ear, his cheek rubbing slightly against the sharp jawline of his counterpart.

“I’m not surprised seeing as how two people essentially had their weight on you last night.”

That had the raven suddenly waking from his comfortable haze. Two people?

“What do you mean, Gen?” Angeal asked, turning his head so he could make eye contact with the redhead. 

“Our little blonde guest got very comfortable laying on Zack, while he laid on you. Were you honestly so out of it that you had no idea?” Genesis quizzed, while arching one, well groomed brow in the older man’s direction. 

Now that was definitely news to Angeal. It made sense now why he felt so sore this morning, however, what didn’t make sense was Cloud’s actions. 

“Do you know what prompted him to do that?” the raven asked, feeling very much as though he was making no progress with the blonde. Everytime he seemed to have one thing about him figured out, Cloud would do something to strike doubts. 

“All I know is before he got all buddy buddy with our little puppy, he said he was scared.” Genesis’s voice grew a little quieter, as if saying the words was a difficult thing. 

They all wanted to know more about Cloud, but Genesis, of all people, was not one to feel remorse for others easily. Angeal himself felt a sickness settling in his stomach at the thought of Cloud admitting to his fears. His actions in themself were definitely of someone who was feeling stressed, but for the blonde to admit, out loud, that he was afraid… It didn’t make Angeal feel happy in the slightest. In fact, it made him restrain every urge that would otherwise having at the blonde’s side right now. 

In many ways, Cloud reminded the raven of Zack, Gen, and Seph. He had a very unique personality, but some aspects of it were very similar to the other three men. He had Zack’s expressive eyes, Gen’s fighting spirit, and Seph’s cool demeanor. In addition to this, All the time he spent taking care of Cloud allowed him to learn how to read the man better. He knew for a fact that the younger male was not a bad person -- quite the opposite actually. Cloud’s heart bled, but he didn’t know how to pick and choose what to care about. Therefore, he cared for everything dearly. It was both admirable, and pity-worthy. 

“I’m not really sure what to do for him… I want to try and comfort him, but about the only person I’ve seen him get even the slightest bit close to, is Zack.” Ageal reasoned, his thoughts spoken out loud in hopes Genesis might help him find the answer. 

“Then send Zack” The redhead offered, his arms tightening a bit more around Angeal. 

“I would… But Zack isn’t exactly intuitive of other people’s limitations when it comes to things like things. I worry that if I send him in to comfort Cloud, that it might end up having the opposite effect. He has a good heart, but Zack can be overwhelming.” 

“Maybe that’s what Cloud likes about him.” As Genesis began nuzzling his face into Angeal’s neck, the raven had to stifle a groan.

His body began to heat up with the teasing action, and make his mind cloud over with pleasure. Still, he forced himself to focus on the conversation at hand. 

“He likes feeling overwhelmed?” He asked, his voice conveying every ounce of doubt he felt about the truth of that statement. 

“No, he likes that, rather than paying attention to his problems to try and find a way to talk, Zack just treats him like he does anyone else.”

Angeal hummed, half from the satisfaction of the man pressed against his back, and half from gaining a bit of understanding. When a velvety tongue licked a strip from the base of his neck to his ear, Angeal finally turned around in Genesis’s arms. 

“What do you think you’re doing?” the raven asked, crossing his arms over his chest to put some distance between their bodies. 

Genesis gave him a devilish smile, revealing a row of perfectly straight, white teeth.

“I’m just helping you relax,” the redhead purred, trailing one hand down Angeal’s chest to rest against his forearm. His fingers laced around the skin there, taut with well trained muscles, and gave a small tug. 

Slowly, Angeal allowed his arms to fall back to his sides, before his hands gripped the counter when Genesis attacked his neck again. Soft sucking noising rang in the raven’s ears as his lover began leaving a trail of kisses, and perhaps a few marks. 

“We can’t--” Angeal’s protest was stopped by a stifled moan escaping him, before he even had the chance to hold it back. 

Genesis detached himself from his partner’s neck, staring up at him through thick lashes with his eyes glazed over. 

“Oh? And why not?” the redhead asked, his tongue darting out teasingly over his lips. 

Angeal caught the action, his teeth clamping down on his tongue as he attempted to prevent another embarrassing sound from escaping. 

“Cloud might come out and see us.” The older male reasoned, jumping a bit when a hand dipped lower on his body to rest right over his clothed groin. 

“Like you said, Ang, he’s had enough of us for right now. I doubt he’s going to come out of the room, and if he did, we’d hear the door.” Genesis countered, his eyes never disconnecting from Angeal’s as he sunk to his knees so that his face was level with his rapidly growing prize. Pink lips breathed hot air over Angeal, whose eyes began to flutter closed from the sensation. 

Angeal was definitely in trouble, because the redhead at his feet was nothing if not determined, and persuasive. 

!!

The raven’s hands shot back to grip the edge of the smooth counter behind him, as Genesis brought thin fingers up to trace the outline of his member through his clothes. Slowly -- painfully slowly -- the redhead moved those fingers to the waistband of Angeal’s sleep pants. The material was loose on the older male, therefore, it did nothing to hide how eager he was for his lover to grant him release. 

As Genesis let the waistband glide over the raven’s hips, Angeal could swear he’d heard the younger man inhale sharply. It was no mystery among them about how giften Angeal was in the size department. He’d matured well, and the mako enhancements only served to boost his already impressive manhood. 

Angeal’s shape could now be seen very clearly through his underwear, the tip of his head, peaking out a bit from the thin waistband. Genesis, ever the tease, decided to close his mouth over him through the fabric, allowing for some moisture and heat to seep in. However, Angeal craved the velvety smoothness of his partner's tongue. His mind kept reminding him that Cloud could walk in on them any minute. It wouldn’t be the first time the blonde moved so silently that none of them had heard him. 

As Genesis allowed the last article of clothing to fall off his lover’s hips, his tongue peaked out to gather pearly liquid gathering at the tip. 

“Genesis…” Angeal gave one last, failed warning, before all rationality left him as blissful heat surrounded his pulsing cock. 

The raven’s head fell back, as a strangled moan left his slack-jawed mouth. His fingers instantly came up to tangle themselves in fiery-red locks, urging his partner to continue. Genesis hummed at the sensation of his hair being pulled in Angeal’s strong grip, causing vibrations to travel into the member in his mouth. 

Angeal’s hips bucked, the head of his heated flesh hitting the back of Genesis’s tongue, and causing the younger male to gag. The raven rubbed his thumb across the redhead’s hollowed cheeks to comfort him, whispering words of encouragement. 

“Shh, good boy.” Angeal whispered, making sure Genesis knew to keep his voice down. It was one thing if Cloud walked in accidentally, but it was another if the blonde walked in after hearing their moans, thinking something was wrong. 

A soft whimper rose up from the redhead’s throat, his eyes squinting shut as Angeal settled into a pace of thrusting. The older man kept one hand fisted in his partner’s hair, while the other was wrapped under his jaw -- thumb still stroking flushed cheeks, and fingers rubbing under his jaw to coax his throat open. 

“This is what you wanted, right? Finish what you started, gen.” Angeal teased when Genesis once again gagged around his cock. The tight throat muscles spasmed, and sent pure pleasure coursing through Angeal’s entire body. 

The more Genesis got used to his thrusts, the deeper the raven pressed himself into the back of that sweet chasm. By the time Angeal began to feel a tight coiling in his stomach, he was full on fucking his lover’s face.

With a few more uncoordinated thrusts, Angeal let out a deep and slow groan from deep in his chest. He could feel his release filling his lover’s mouth, as the heat became slick, and sticky. Genesis’s eyes shot open, his fingers clenching tightly on the material of Angeal’s low-hanging pants. He took in everything his partner gave him, his gaze never separating from the raven’s own heavily lidded one.

With a contented sigh, Angeal pulled out of Genesis’s mouth, quickly moving a finger to rest over to damp lips to prevent them from separating. 

“Don’t waste your present, sweetheart. Swallow.” Angeal commanded, bending over so his words were whispered right into the redhead’s ear. 

Despite having just cum, Angeal’s cock twitched a little when he heard the loud gulp that let him know his lover did exactly as he asked. 

When swollen lips parted to take in deep breaths, the raven wasted no time in connecting them in a deep, ravenous kiss. He could taste himself on Genesis, which caused him to feel a satisfying swell of pride. When they finally separated, the redhead smirked up at him with that same cocky grin. It had always been a wonder how the younger male could have a dick down his throat one minute, and look like a regal king on his throne the next. 

!!

“Feel better?” Genesis asked now that he was able to catch his breath, his throat a bit raspy and raw from overexertion. 

Angeal smiled down at him sweetly, wiping a stray stream of himself that managed to escape Genesis’s mouth. 

“Much.”

\----------------------------

When Zack arrived in Sephiroth’s office, he could tell the General had a lot on his mind. The silver-haired man’s biggest tell, was the way he rolled his pen between his fingers. The pen would hover a bit above the paper, but never truly touch as Sephiroth became engrossed in his thoughts. 

Zack quietly knocked on the door that he’d opened, causing Sephiroth to swiftly look up at the younger male. 

“You needed to talk to me about something, Seph?” Zack hesitantly asked, not sure if the general was in the right mood for whatever conversation he wanted to have.

“Yes” Sephiroth gestured with his pen to the seat in front of his desk, his face smoothing out a bit. 

Zack was reminded strongly of being brought before his superiors when he was just a recruit. The feeling was the same as it had been when he was reprimanded about something, and he felt nervousness bubble up in his throat. To his knowledge, the black-haired man hadn’t done anything wrong lately, and Cloud hadn’t been out of the apartment to have the opportunity to do anything that would reflect back on him. So what was this about?

“Relax Zack, I wanted to talk to you about Cloud, not anything you’ve done.” Sephiroth calmed his nerves, clearly seeing the stress on Zack’s face. 

Zack let out a sigh of relief, though a new kind of tension replaced the old at the mention of the blonde.

“Cloud? There’s nothing else I can tell you that I haven’t already said.” Zack countered, settling back in the cushioned chair, and cocking a questioning brow at Sephiroth. 

“Actually, I wanted to give you information of my own today, seeing as how you are responsible for his care, and situation here at Shinra.” 

Zack remained quiet, now interested in what Sephiroth could have possibly learned in the past 12 hours, that the rest of them hadn’t learned in the past several days. Although, the black-haired man wasn’t exactly overly surprised. Sephiroth had always been the most intuitive of the rest of them, and read human nature like one studied a textbook. His inferences were always well founded, and attentive to detail. 

“Do you have any recollection of Cloud’s unusual actions last night?” Sephiroth asked, keeping a critical eye on Zack. 

“Unusual? I mean, Cloud is always a bit unusual…” Zack paused to run his fingers through his hair, thinking back to the events that transpired the previous evening. “Other than the incident in the kitchen, nothing about him seemed uncharacteristic of his normal Cloudy self.” the younger man joked, a forced chuckle bubbling up from his chest. 

Sephiroth hummed, a deep and melodic sound, that had a shiver going up Zack’s spine. That was one thing he’d always noticed about the General -- his voice was silky, baritone, and perfectly smooth, without a single crack, or waver. 

“Last night, I noticed something very off about Cloud’s behavior, at least off in comparison to what we’ve gathered about him so far. If I were to go up to him and place my hand on his shoulder, what do you think the outcome would be?” Sephiroth asked his next question, drawing out the conversation a bit longer than Zack’s patience would normally allow. 

The black-haired man looked at the General like he’d grown a second head, for the sheer obviousness of the answer to that question. 

“He’d freak out, you know that, Seph. He values his space more than anything else. I’m sorry, but I don’t really understand--” Sephiroth cut Zack off mid sentence, seeing the limit to the younger man’s forbearance. 

“Exactly, so I’m trying to figure out why it is that he seeked comfort from you last night through physical contact.” the silver-haired man finally stated.

Zack was taken aback, not having any idea when Cloud “seeked comfort” from him. Reading the look of confusion on the black-haired man’s face, Sephiroth decided to continue. 

“Cloud awoke last night, and seemed to be extremely stressed. My guess is that it was the result of some kind of nightmare. I pretended to be sleeping in order to see what he would do, however, he did the last thing I expected. Instead of going off to some other corner of the apartment for privacy, or anything of that nature, he laid down next to you.” Sephiroth explained further, setting his pen down on the desk in front of him, and leaning back in his chair. 

So Zack had been asleep then when this transpired. It made him feel a little better to know he now understood why he had no idea what the General had been referencing. But, at the same time, he also couldn’t help but feel a tight restriction in his chest over the fact that Cloud had been so upset, with nobody to confide in. 

“Why didn’t you comfort him? I know you prefer to let him be, but Cloud clearly needed someone to be there for him.” Zack asked, anger tainting his voice despite his best efforts to keep it at bay. 

“Anything I might have done would have caused more damage than good. I know you’re aware, as well as everyone else, how much worse Cloud reacts to me. He does a pretty good job at hiding it, but anytime I’m involved, he seems to retreat even further away. It will take time for me to develop any sort of trust from him.” The Silver haired man explained carefully. 

Zack knew what Sephiroth was saying was the truth. Despite Cloud still being rather reclusive around the rest of them, he had an even harder time relaxing around the General. 

“But why? If he is as adverse to touch as we already have guessed from interactions, then wouldn’t laying with me make him feel worse?” Zack just couldn’t bring himself to understand why the blonde would be so hesitant to be near anyone, yet seek him for physical comfort. 

“It would, unless he already holds some semblance of trust in you. It could be something he isn’t fully aware of, but if he feels more comfortable with you than the rest of us, then you should take full advantage of that.” Sephiroth explained, finally revealing the truth behind why he asked to speak with Zack. 

“Take advantage of that to make Cloud more comfortable, or take advantage of him in order to gain information?” Zack bit out, hoping Sephiroth didn’t expect him to betray the blonde’s trust. 

If what the General was saying was true, and Cloud truly did trust him more than the others, then betraying that trust could have devastating consequences on the younger male. Cloud already had a hard time forging trust for others, if Zack took advantage of that, then the blonde may never be able to trust any of them again. 

“As important as it is for us to gain more information on this matter, Cloud’s mental state is a much more pressing issue. If he happens to relay anything to you, I’d like to ask you to share it with me. But no, I don’t want you to use him specifically to collect information -- I’m not cruel, Zack.” 

Zack relaxed at hearing those words, thankful that the silver-haired man wasn’t being completely heartless to this situation. 

“So how should I go about it then?” the younger male asked, wanting to make sure they were completely on the same page. 

“For the most part, just act as you have. I suspect it is something about you or your personality that has caused him to take a liking to you more. Perhaps you remind him of someone he was close to, or maybe it’s that you two are closer in age.” Spehiroth paused, taking a second to write something down on a sticky note on his desk. “Try to warm him up to your touch -- small actions, like allowing your fingers to touch when you grab something from him. Sit by him a lot, and try to strike conversations to get him used to you. The two of you are living together, so it shouldn’t be too difficult.” The general offered some tactics to the black-haired man, who gave him a disgruntled look at the last sentence. 

“Easy for you to say, have you actually met Cloud? He’s pretty much proven that just because you live with someone, doesn’t mean you have to interact with them.” Zack grunted, throwing his hand up in the air in exasperation, before letting out a resigned sigh. “Fine, I’ll do my best. But if he finds out anything, then I’m throwing your ass under the bus.” He pointed an accusing finger at Sephiroth, who merely glanced at him carelessly. 

Zack took that as his cue to leave, standing and making his way over to the entrance of the office. Before he left, he looked warily over his shoulder. 

“Hey, Seph… What do you think the chances are that the labs will get ahold of Cloud?” 

Sephiroth did look up at that question, his brows pinching together for a fraction of a second. 

“If I can help it, then they’ll never even pass him in the halls.” The silver-haired man comforted. 

Zack nodded, a small smile twitching on his lips, before he turned and left the room. 

\----------------------

Cloud sat back with a contented sigh as he finally managed to buff all of the dents out of his pauldrons. His gear looked good as new, and was ready for any type of fight he might find himself facing. His victory-induced happiness was interrupted by the sound of knuckles wrapping on his door. He didn’t bother answering, knowing the person on the other side was bound to walk in anyways. 

He expected to see Zack returning from his meeting, or Angeal checking up on him. The last person he expected to see open that door, was a certain snarky redhead. 

“Hey blondy.” Genesis greeted rudely, waltzing into the room and looking around disdainfully. 

It wasn’t even like Cloud had decorated it himself, but he still took personal offense to that, and the fact that the older male seemed determined to call him by anything but his name. 

“What do you want?” Cloud asked, unable to hide the bite in his voice. 

Genesis regarded him curiously, his eyes tracing up and down Cloud’s lithe frame, and making the blonde squirm under the attention.

“I wanted to ask if you’d like to take a little walk with me. Surely you must be going stir crazy cooped up in this apartment all day.” The redhead offered. 

That… actually seemed like something Cloud would really enjoy right now. As annoying as Genesis could be, he seemed to always know what Cloud needed before he even knew himself. 

“What’s the catch?” Cloud asked, not wanting to seem too eager, and potentially play right into Genesis’s hands. 

A bright smile replaced itself on the perfectly unblemished face, making Cloud internally gawk at Genesis’s beauty. Actually, it made him feel nice to know it wasn’t just himself who could be categorized as a “pretty boy.” 

“No catch, just a kind gesture of goodwill.” 

Cloud hesitated a moment, really wanting to believe the man’s words, but still torn between every fiber of his being screaming to not trust him. In the end, his desperation to get out, and the reasoning that he could use this opportunity to potentially start building his escape route in his mind, won. 

As he and Genesis walked down the halls of the building, Cloud was keeping a close eye on each detail. Anything that looked like it could be useful, from large air ducts, to hiding spots. The redhead rambled away at his side, Cloud only half paying attention to his words. 

However, when they wandered into a room, and a dull practice sword was tossed in his direction, Cloud suddenly realized what the “catch” was. Genesis wanted a fight, and coincidentally, Cloud had been dying for a rematch. 

“Scared blondy?” The redhead teased. 

Cloud sneered, readying himself for battle, but what he failed to remember was that fighting is the best way of distracting someone enough to gain information off them. And Cloud was about to find himself giving much more than he was prepared for.


	9. Heart Upon My Sleeve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genesis and Cloud have an invigorating battle, in which Genesis tries to overwhelm Cloud's mind enough to gain information, with devastating consequences that Angeal is left to clean up. Zack and Angeal attempt to piece together more of Cloud's story, desperately trying to gain answers on the mysterious blonde. Genesis seeks comfort from Sephiroth, as the two of them share a very rough, but intimate exchange.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter!! This one is also very long, and I'm quite proud of it. It is very late at night (or rather, very early in the morning), I have class 8 hours from now, and I have yet to sleep, so I apologize if there are grammatical errors. I will review back over it again after I get out of class in the afternoon. I truly hope you guys enjoy this chapter, as I'm not always sure if I'm really doing you guys, and the characters justice. But I'll stop rambling now, haha. 
> 
> PLEASE READ FROM HERE DOWN IF POSSIBLE
> 
> **WARNINGS (okay wow, there's a lot for this chapter): Graphic depictions of violence, PTSD, Panic attacks, graphic depictions of blood, Hojo, graphic depictions of experimentation, *HARD YAOI (this is the action of aggressive, violent, or more descriptive male on male intercourse. Readers please be warned, but also note this is all consensual, and NOT rape. If you don't wish to read this, honestly, just skip the whole scene with Sephiroth and Genesis because it's basically smut. Though, it does provide a deeper look into Sephiroth's mind, and one of the results of his life as a mutated/extremely enhanced human being.)***
> 
> Alright, I think that's all of the warnings, I hope at least. I believe this book is already tagged as explicit, if not, I will change it. From here on out, we will begin to look into Sephiroth, Zack, Angeal, and Genesis's relationship so we can prepare to see how Cloud will reshape it to find a place for himself. ^^ We will see more of their private interactions with each other, and Cloud, as well as their sexual interactions amongst their already established foursome. Cloud is a ways off from being receptive of sexual actions, so it will be a bit before his scenes get too graphic in that sense. This IS a slow burn, as stated in the tags, so although I will add these sexy scenes between the other's, the main focus of this story is on Cloud developing a relationship with the four of them, and his healing journey. 
> 
> Cool, I think I'm finally finished. ANY QUESTIONS CAN BE PUT IN THE COMMENTS SECTION BELOW. I will try my best to answer all of them without spoiling anything.

With my heart upon my sleeve

My head down low and I still feel broken

And down upon my knees

With my head down low and I still feel broken

Where are you?

Where are you?

I know that I need you most and 

And a heart upon my sleeve, broken down

\------------------------------------------------

Cloud moved carefully, and quietly on his feet. His breath was level, while his heart rate remained at a constant, steady beat in his chest. He was exhilarated by the battle ahead, but he knew from experience now that Genesis was no easy opponent. He wasn’t like the infantrymen, or lowly thirds that Cloud had fought during his efforts against Shinra. Making that mistake could lead to a world of pain if he wasn’t careful. 

Definitely -- Genesis was a predator, full of warping energy, balance, finesse, and unbridled skills. Everything, from the way the redhead mirrored Cloud’s tentative steps, to the way he held his sword before his body, showed exactly how talented he truly was. Anyone else in the blonde’s position would be rightfully fearful, but not Cloud. 

He had to pay attention though, keep calm, and not allow his hotheaded excitement cause him to slip up like he did last time. He had been lucky Genesis had no true intention to harm him, as the younger man’s underestimation of the redhead could have led to him losing his life. 

“Are you going to make a move, or wait for me to chase after you like last time?” Genesis teased, his eyes glimmering with mischief. 

Cloud knew he was being baited, and also knew better than to foolishly rush in until he was sure he could land a blow, while evading Genesis’s blade. Good swordsmanship was an art, and required, above all else, patience, and attention to detail. One had to keep an eye on each of his opponents small movements, then devise a split second plan of action based on trained instinct, and perceptiveness. It was a dance of the highest risk, where part of the thrill came from not knowing if you’d walk away the same way you entered. 

In this sense, it was poetically beautiful, and dangerously captivating -- like an addiction. 

Between one step to the next, Genesis revealed to Cloud the smallest of openings. It transpired in a microsecond to the naked eye, but it was all that the blonde needed. With a sharp exhale, Cloud released the defensive tension from his form, and felt weightless as he rushed his opponent. He aimed his dulled blade directly for that small window -- the barest of weakened points on Genesis’s left side. 

For all of Cloud’s speed, however, the redhead was still fast to react as his body twisted to cover for the blunder. A sharp ring sounded like a high-pitched melody to enhanced ears when metal met metal. Cloud glared up into Genesis’s eyes, a sneer to rival the SOLDIER’s own contouring his delicate features. 

Both of their swords came to a standstill against each other, fighting for the upper hand in a battle of pure strength. Genesis’ face grew uncomfortably close in an attempt to make Cloud even more uncomfortable -- gauging his mental strength along with the physical. A deep hum rose from a thin throat, the redhead cocking his head to the side as if admiring a painting. 

“You look better like this, much more expressive. As much as the resting bitch face works with your personality, it really ruins your pretty features.” Genesis commented, his grin as cocky as ever. 

Those words definitely pierced through Cloud’s mental defenses, making the blonde lose some of his balance. Genesis took advantage of this to grind their swords together, successfully pushing the blonde’s out of the way in a red, heated spark of fire. Before the older man could bring the blade down on an unguarded shoulder, Cloud twirled his body around. He was light on his feet, like a cat chasing a laser to a single focussed point. His spine bended back a fraction in order to hold his blade over his head, and without too much effort he managed to stop Genesis’s sword in its path. 

“You have skills, Cloud, but your movements lack because they run off of defensive reserve, rather than emotion. You put too much effort into defense, and lose balance when it comes to offense. I am not an opponent you can take down by simply parrying, surely whoever taught you told you how important it is to be a mix of both.” Genesis probed, before maneuvering himself to send a string of slashes in the blonde’s direction.

Cloud continued to forcefully take steps backward as the redhead drove him further and further into a corner. When he felt the cold metal of the training center wall against his back, he ducked, causing Genesis to leave a shallow indent in the surface where Cloud’s head had been. Exhaling old air, the younger male took in a quick, but deep breath, in order to prepare himself to throw his weight into his next swing. His sword missed Genesis by a fraction, but the force of it caused the ground beneath their feet to shake. 

“Good! Against what others might tell you, your most powerful weapon on the battlefield is not your blade, but the emotions you pour into it.” Genesis pressed, sending a powerful kick to Cloud’s chest. 

The blonde stumbled, but did not lose focus. He’d learned a long time ago how to block out the pain until the battle was over. 

“Why do you care so much about how I choose to fight?” Cloud growled, sending another blow in Genesis’s direction as anger and frustration began to fill his being.

“Because whoever trained you clearly didn’t do it right.” The redhead remarked, a dense silence following as they once again found each other’s blades locked together. 

That comment had Cloud seeing red, his heart rate picking up, and his muscles spasming with a strength he hadn’t experienced in a while. 

“He was better than you’ll ever be. You could train for a million years, and never hold a candle to him.” Cloud all but shouted, forcing Genesis’s blade back and sending a combination of lethal thrusts to the man’s toned stomach.

“Ah, so the mysterious teacher is a he? And based on your fighting style, I’d say he definitely learned to fight somewhere in, or near Midgar. Tell me, did Shinra also believe this instructor to be better than me, one of its most decorated first class combatants?” Genesis quizzed, putting more pressure on Cloud as he too strengthened his blows. 

“What Shinra thought of him doesn’t matter, nor does your opinion.” Cloud felt his control slipping, he gained more skill and strength, but began to feel his mental barriers break down in kind. It was like a trade, where he had to give up one thing to gain another. The blonde hadn’t had a battle like this in years, but something about it felt even more taxing than any fights he’d faced since Sephiroth. 

“Ah, so he did work at Shinra? I’m sure the infantry had a fine fighter at their disposal.” The redhead sprinted forwards, dodging Cloud’s defending slash to spin and aim for his back. 

Cloud fell to the ground, using the momentum of his fall to somersault forwards, and push himself out of harm's way. He continued the movement fluidly, turning his back in a rounded kick to Genesis’s face. Genesis wrapped his gloved fingers around Cloud’s ankle, grunting at the pain that coursed through his wrist. He pulled the slim leg up, pushing the blonde to the limit of his flexibility. 

“You really think I was taught by an infantryman? I WAS an infantryman at the time, so there’s no way in hell I would be the student of one.” Cloud grunted as his thigh muscles stretched painfully far. He pushed all of his weight into the weak point between Genesis’s thumb and forefinger, successfully breaking the grip on the appendage. He twirled his blade in his hand, before curving it toward the redhead’s leg. 

“So a SOLDIER then. You must have shown some potential to catch the attention of such a skilled man. Only first class SOLDIER’s are allowed to take on disciples, you know, so perhaps I knew him.” Genesis blocked another series of strikes from Cloud, noticing the way the blonde began growing weaker as his mental awareness started to return to him. “Your slacking, Cloud.” To prove his words, Genesis sent his fist into the blonde’s side -- bones shifting, but not snapping under his knuckles. “More emotion. I’ve insulted you, I’ve insulted your teacher, I’ve kicked you in the stomach at least twice now. Get frustrated, and fight back with everything you have.” He pressured Cloud more and more, making sure to drown out the last bit of hesitation the younger had left in him. “Get angry!” He finally yelled, putting all his strength into his next blow. 

And that was it, Cloud’s eyes darkened to the point the mako in them seemed to glow brighter than a neon light. His fists clenched so hard around the hilt of his sword, that blood began to pool stickily in his palm. His heart was pounding so hard, and painfully against his bruised ribs that it felt as though they would snap. He could hear the blood pumping in Genesis’s veins, and each breath the taller male took in as his sense heightened beyond their normal calibur. He could smell copper, metal, paint, and sweat all combining into a perfume that blinded him with bloodlust. He needed more pain, more blood, more anger. He needed to feel it all drifting over his consciousness, so that it could drown out the voices in his head. All of the curses thrown his way, the slandering, the lies, the spoken fears, and the screams played like a broken record on repeat in his ears. 

His body moved on its own with blinding speed, and strength, as he began to overwhelm the redhead, whose breathing had begun to pick up. As the openings in Genesis’s defense became more obvious and frequent, Cloud built up all of those emotions, tortured memories, and heartbreaks into one last, powerful strike. The force of it sent the older man flying back, his body landing a few feet away on the floor in a pained heap. Before Genesis could recover, Cloud had the point of his blade pressed against the SOLDIER’s jugular.

All of his mental barriers were knocked down, revealing all of his emotions he’d tried to keep at bay. His physical barriers also shattered into a million pieces, as he leaned in scarily close to Genesis, their noses almost touching. 

“Don’t--” He began, his breath whispering across the other man’s lips. 

The redhead’s eyes flashed with some unknown emotion, along with complete and utter fascination, and excitement. That smile never left his face, even as blood leaked out of the corner of his lips in a slow stream down his chin. 

“Ever--” Cloud’s fingers fisted in the leather lapels of his opponent’s long coat, making sure all of Genesis’s attention was on his words. “Underestimate me, or insult my teacher again, because I promise, next time, I’ll. end. you. Then you won’t have to worry about my past anymore, because I will ensure you have no future.” With that, Cloud released the man, and stalked out of the room in the direction he remembered Zack’s apartment was. 

“Thank you for the fun, Doll, it’s been a pleasure!” Genesis shouted at the blonde’s retreating form, resting his head back down on the cold floor with a grunt. 

“And for the information, though I’m not sure it was worth the cost.” Genesis muttered once he was sure the blonde was out of earshot. 

He was just gonna have to lay there for a while until he healed enough to make it back to his room. In the meantime…

The redhead reached into the deep pocket of his coat, pulling out his hardback copy of Loveless. A bit of reading ought to make the situation more bearable. 

\---------------------------

Cloud burst through the front door of the apartment, his vision still blurry with anger, and his eyes flashing between multiple emotions. 

He was mad, absolutely, but his feelings weren’t so black and white at the current moment. He felt anger and Genesis’s slandering, and his complete disregard of Cloud’s ability as a fighter. The man treated him like a petulant child who had no idea how to fight, and who had no business in battle. 

However, he also felt fearful. He was terrified over how much information the redhead had managed to squeeze out of him. Genesis seemed to have a knack for weaseling his way into other’s minds. He was obvious in his ministrations, but knew how to manipulate one in a way that they still weren’t aware what he was doing. Cloud had basically served him all of the answers on an emotional silver platter. He had no doubt there was a file in Sephiroth’s office that had his name on it, and said file was slowly growing -- of this he was now sure. 

Cloud wasn’t naive, he’d known since he’d arrived that the four men hanging around him like flies were trying to coax information out of him. He felt, all things considered, that he was doing a pretty good job at keeping his lips sealed. Today, however, he was so unprepared for Genesis’s way of interrogation, that he’d handed the man way more than he would have with a clear head. 

Despite the suffocating concoction of these two emotions mixing together -- wrapping a deadly grip around his throat as panic clouded judgement -- there was one more feeling pressing against his consciousness that he couldn’t cope with. Nor could he comprehend it enough to give said emotion a name. It was both fire and ice, spinning circles in his stomach and converging into a tight knot that felt both fluttery, and nauseating. His fight with the redhead, although detrimental, had excited him on a level he’d never experienced. His senses came alive, and his heart still thudded loudly in his chest from the aftermath. 

This unidentifiable emotion fueled both his fear and anger, as he began to pace around the room. His breathing was shallow, and fast. Ears rang with the way his blood pressure shot through the roof. He felt like an absolute mess, and with his barriers having been broken down -- in a single, thirty minute fight no less -- he had no idea how to fix them. Cloud couldn’t find a way to build his walls back up, when they had all but been crushed to dust by Genesis’s fists. There were no solid brick’s left to even begin the rebuilding process, as Cloud was left walking through the field of ash and sand in his head. 

“Cloud?” A voice rang behind the blonde. 

Cloud hadn’t even realized he now leaned heavily against the wall by the front door, his forehead pressing against the chilly structure. His fist was clenched tightly next to his head, reopening the already sore cuts in his palm. The raw flesh ripped even further, causing the blood to drip down his forearm and fall to the floor. He felt so pained. So torn. It was agony, and he had no idea what to do, nor did he have anyone he could confide in. In that moment, he longed for Tifa’s gentle words of comfort. She had always been an ear for him to express his concerns too, or even bounce his ideas off of. Here, though, he had absolutely no one. He’d always thought himself to be a completely independent, and self-sufficient person, but now he found himself wondering if that was just a delusion he’d led himself to believe. Maybe that strength had never belonged to him -- maybe it was the part of Zack he still carried, which he simply thought to be his own. Or perhaps that was what his barrier was for. His barrier, which shouldered all of his pain, grief, and suffering like a locked gate. That’s right… His barrier wasn’t made of brick, it was made of solid, iron bars. Bars which he’d allowed Genesis to bend to his will. 

‘You are nothing but a puppet’ Sephiroth’s words once again found their way into Cloud’s head. 

A high-pitched whine of sheer agony tore itself out of the blonde’s mouth, despite the pinned grip his teeth had on his bottom lip. He wanted to bang his head against the wall, just to get his mind to shut off. The flood gates had been opened, and he couldn’t stop the constant flood waves that crashed along his comfortable, sandy beach. 

He couldn’t do this. He wasn’t strong enough. He wasn’t brave enough. He wasn’t anything. Cloud strife was nothing. He didn’t deserve to live, but he didn’t deserve the mercy to die either. He was stuck in a limbo that made him feel like he was stretched as thin as a rope, and he was about to snap. 

“Cloud… sweetheart, I need you to listen to me.” That same deep voice spoke from behind him, closer this time.

He couldn’t bring himself to care if anyone invaded his space now; it seemed a trivial thing to worry about. He also couldn’t seem to focus, though, as his mind grew fuzzier and fuzzier by the minute with the way he panted and choked on every breath. 

“I can’t… I can’t.” His voice was unrecognizable to him -- so weak, and pathetic. He was pathetic, wasn’t he? 

“You can’t what? Tell me how I can help you? Focus on what you want to say, not on anything else but your words, and my voice.” The words were soft, and soothing, rolling over Cloud like a warm blanket. 

The blonde dug his head harder into the wall, blood now dripping steadily down his chin to lay next to the small puddle from his hand. He tried to focus, to heed the advice the man offered, but it felt like an impossible task. 

“I can’t breathe… I can’t think… I can’t do anything… I’m so, so, --” Cloud couldn’t bring himself to say the word that danced on the tip of his tongue, his pride still not allowing that much. Turns out he didn’t need to though, as the voice behind him offered up the word his lips wouldn’t produce. 

“Are you afraid, Cloud?” 

The blonde hesitated a moment, before nodding his head, his face burning with shame. 

“You wanna know what I used to tell Zack before we would head out to the battlefield?” The man didn’t wait for him to answer, deciding to continue anyways. “I’d tell him ‘I’m scared too, there’s no shame in fear, because it’s one of the things that makes us human.’ There is absolutely nothing wrong with admitting you are afraid, actually, I believe it takes a larger amount of strength to relent one’s shortcomings.” 

‘You know what, I’m going to tell you a little secret. I’m scared too.’ Zack’s voice from his dream the previous night countered the torturous ones in his head. And the person who taught Zack everything was…

“Angeal?” He asked, his voice cracked and weak. 

“Hm?” Angeal sounded even closer now, as if he were slowly inching nearer to Cloud. 

“Why do you even care?” Cloud hiccupped, before continuing, “Why do you even bother with someone like me?” 

There was a slight pause as Angeal thought of how to answer the question presented to him. When he finally spoke, it was the last thing he expected to hear. 

“Because you are a good person, Cloud.” 

The blonde’s eyes shot open, his vision blurry with unshed tears as he took in the wall in front of him. He finally gathered the courage, and mental stability enough to turn and face the taller man, who was right behind him. 

Angeal’s heart clenched, and practically broke in his chest with the amount of emotion plastered across Cloud’s face. The blonde’s eyes were wide, and a brilliant shade of ocean blue as they looked up into his own. A bloodied lip trembled when it was finally released from the cage of strong teeth. The raven’s mouth opened and closed, as, for the first time, he had no words he could give. 

When the tears gathered in Cloud’s eyes finally spilled silently down his cheeks, Angeal could no longer keep his instincts to wrap his arms around the younger man. When his muscled biceps closed around the smaller, leaner frame, he expected Cloud to push him away -- or even voice his discomfort. He didn’t, however, expect Cloud to break down and sob into his shirt. 

Angeal could feel the moisture soak into the material, making his heart hurt even more. It was as if he were absorbing Cloud’s emotions, and his pain, to the extent that he felt helpless. The mentor was so used to having the answers, and giving advice based on the situation. But here, with the little broken blonde locked into his embrace and crying his heart out, he was left blank. 

He brought his fingers up to thread through blonde spikes, massaging Cloud’s scalp in the same manner he would to comfort Zack. He felt his chest flutter when the younger man slowly relaxed, and turned to putty in his grasp. 

He made shushing sounds like he’d do for Genesis -- soft whispers that danced off his lips and fell against Cloud’s head. Making the blonde press himself closer, as if trying to soak up all of Angeal’s warmth. 

His arm dipped lower to wrap around a slim waist in a reassuringly tight grip, like he’d do when he was trying to alleviate Sephiroth’s stress. This had a hiccuping sigh quietly escaping swollen lips, as Cloud’s crying began to slow. 

All of these combined finally had the blonde settling down, though small shiver’s still went through his body every now and again, transferring into Angeal’s own. 

Now that he was allowed to see this vulnerable side of Cloud, and feel the smaller body pressed against his own, the raven wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to bring himself to let go. 

\--------------------------

Hojo paced back and forth in the medical bay, ignoring the gargled screams of the test subject he had on the metal table beside him. His assistants were still hard at work digging through the open flesh of the humanoid’s chest cavity. The creature -- a simple infantryman once upon a time -- struggled against the restraints around his wrists and ankles. His organs were exposed, each fleshy, pink mass of blood and muscle pulsing with his heartbeat. 

“Would you shut him up!” Hojo screamed at his assistants, causing them to jump. The scientist didn’t care though, the shrieks and hollers were interrupting his train of thought. He needed to be down here to oversee the experiment, and view the results firsthand, but he’d really prefer to be in his office right now. 

He raised up a copy of the document -- the source of his current frustrations -- before his face once more. Hojo read over each word carefully, looking for any sort of loophole, or technicality he could exploit. 

With a frustrated grunt, he slammed the file down on a metal table, watching as it slipped into a sink, filled to the brim with bloodied disinfectant from cleansing medical tools. The slightly translucent, red liquid began to swallow the words on the page as the paper sunk deeper into the basin. Once it could no longer be seen, Hojo straightened his spine, and took in a calming breath. 

He never expected Fair to go as far as to sign an accountability form. He hardly knew the boy he housed, yet he was willing to risk everything -- including his career -- on the pitiful creature. 

“Minor blunder in a broad scheme,” the scientist remarked to himself. All this meant, was that he’d have to receive his samples through more… unconventional means. 

There was more than one way to snatch up a scampering rat. Just because you couldn’t simply grab it with your bare hands, didn’t mean you couldn’t set traps. All he needed to do was find Cloud’s cheese, the thing that would lore him right into Hojo’s clutches. Once the scientist found that, then all he had to do was wait for the mechanism to spring. 

“I wonder what it is you value, Mr. Strife.” Hojo muttered, which was uncharacteristic of the vocal scientist. 

Walking over to a PHS, attached to a wall on the other side of the lab, hojo punched in the only number he’d memorized by heart. He didn’t like contacting the little cretin, what with his past failures, but the man was much more tactical in a trustworthy sense. He could snoop around, and get information much easier than Hojo, whom everyone else practically ran from. 

The Phone rang a few times in the scientist's ear, annoying him even further from how long it was taking his contact to pick up. After what felt like eons, a voice finally answered. 

“Hollander speaking.” 

“Always a pleasure to hear your voice, my dear Hollander. Tell me, how have you and your projects been as of late?” Hojo greeted, fake politeness tainting his voice the way he’d trained himself to address others. Some would argue that this falsified side of him was more unsettling than it would be were Hojo to act as the monster he truly was.

“Professor Hojo… to what do I owe this pleasant surprise?” Hollander replied, suspicion clear in his tone. 

“I have a little task I’d like to ask for your assistance in.” The scientist got right to the point, knowing Hollander was not one to usually but up with long introductions, or formalities. 

“A task? Please explain what kind of ‘task,’ and I might be inclined to help.” 

Hojo felt a little twinge of anger nibbling at the back of his mind with the way the other scientist spoke to him. His intellect was, after all, far greater than that of Hollander, and the man was acting as if it was some great treasure to gain his help. Hell, at more than one point in time, Hojo had considered making a lab rat out of the other scientist himself. However, Hollander did have his merits, one of which Hojo now seeked. 

“I have a little blonde rat running around Shinra, and I need your help gaining potentially exploitable information about him.” Hojo replied, his voice clipped, and business-like. 

Hollander’s tongue could be heard clicking on the other line, a squeaking sound ringing through the speaker as he settled back into his office chair. 

“What kind of information is it you are needing. If this man is under too much security, some aspects of his life may be impossible for even myself to gain access to.”

“I need Cloud Strife’s Kryptonite -- a weakness that I can exploit in order to lead him to me.” Hojo explained, genuinely hoping Hollander could do this simple task, otherwise the scientist might have to reconsider allowing him to run free. 

“Cloud Strife? Which program, or department is he a part of?” Hollander asked, interest clear in his voice. 

“He’s currently not employed at Shinra, though I suspect the president is eyeing him for SOLDIER recruitment. The problem is that he’s kept under lock and key by Zack Fair.” The scientist spat the first class’s name with venom. 

“...I’ll see what information I can gather, but if worse comes to worse, it’s clear Fair has taken an interest in him. It might have an effect on Cloud if you use the SOLDIER against him.” 

Hojo had thought of that already, but he’d never been one for half-assed plans. Not to mention the black-haired kid was one of Shinra’s most prized trinkets. Practically anything the boy wanted, he got. 

“Understood, let me know when you have what I seek.” With that, the professor hung up, not wanting to listen to Hollander’s voice any longer. 

“Cell mutation is a failure, sir” One of his assistants called out to him, causing the scientists attention to be drawn back to the table where the humanoid’s struggles began to slow. 

The vial the short, brunette female held carried a dark, black liquid, which had once been blood -- a clear sign of failure. If the experiment had been successful, then the liquid in the glass tube would have turned green. 

He let out a frustrated sigh, walking over to the table, and jotting down a few notes on the failures chart. 

“Normally, I might be merciful on a good day, but I’m afraid…” Hojo soaked up the humanoid’s fear like a drug, giving him a deceptively kind smile as he picked up a syringe from the medical tray. The medicine inside was tinted yellow the slightest bit, with little bubbles rising to the surface. “You are no longer of any use to me, and I’m in a rather foul mood.” He plunged the needle into the creature’s arm, reveling in the renewed struggles and screams filling the lab. 

The humanoid writhed in pain as the poison coursed through its veins, blood and fleshing spilling to the floor with the force at which it rocked on the table. After a minute or two, it finally stilled, it’s eyes hollowing while the light left them like a dying candle. 

Hojo looked down disdainfully at the messy puddle on the tile beneath his feet. He turned to the assistant at his side, who gripped the chart tightly against her chest, fear clear behind her brown eyes. 

“Clean this mess up, and bring in the next one immediately.” He ordered, making his way out of the gory room for a much needed break. He was sure the next subjects results would be the same, which was why it was so imperative that he get a hold of Cloud as soon as possible. The boy was the crowning jewel of his endeavors, and not a being the scientist would come across again. 

In order to accomplish his goal, he didn’t want Cloud -- he NEEDED him. 

\------------------------

Zack walked back into his apartment, keys jingling in his hands, while his collected mail was clenched between his teeth. He turned around, without looking up, to relatch the lock on the door, before placing the keys on the table next to the door. He sifted through the mail in his hands, reading the labels and deciding what was important, and what was simply junk mail. 

He let out a loud groan when he saw one of the envelopes contained the bill for his PHS. Not wanting to see the charge that would soon be coming off his card, the black-haired man threw the mail down on the counter with a plop. 

“Could you be any louder, Zack?” Angeal’s voice filled the space. 

“Sorry, I--” Zack stopped short when he took in the sight that awaited him on his couch. 

Angeal was leaning back against one of the arms of the sofa, his legs sprawled out in front of him. What shocked the black-haired man, was a little blonde wrapped around the raven’s torso. Cloud’s legs were laid out over Angeal’s, as he rested, chest to chest, on the older man’s larger form. A delicate face was pressing against the SOLDIER’s abdomen, peaceful with sleep, but baring the obvious tracks of shed tears. Soft snores could be heard filling the, now deathly silent, space. 

“What the hell happened?” Zack whisper-yelled, unable to hide his flabbergasted expression, even if he wanted to. 

Angeal continued running his fingers through Cloud’s thick spikes after the blonde groaned in his sleep when the raven paused the action for a few seconds. The younger male definitely needed this sleep, and Angeal would gladly sit here for however long he rested. 

“Cloud had a… breakdown of sorts.” He tried to find the words to explain the situation to his student. 

“A breakdown? Like a normal Cloudy tantrum, or…” 

“No, like a full on panic attack, sobbing, emotional mess kind of breakdown. Honestly, I’ve never seen so much emotion on his face before, and it was very concerning. He just looked so--” Angeal paused, staring thoughtfully down at Cloud’s flushed cheeks. “Broken,” He was finally able to speak the term that pressed on his tongue. 

Zack’s features visibly contorted into a painful grimace when he thought of how much Cloud had been hurting, and he wasn’t there to help. But how did…

“How did this--” Zack gestured to the scene in front of him, “happen.”

“I was trying to get him to calm down before he suffocated on his own breaths. His words… I don’t know how to describe it, but they were so full of pain that I could physically feel all of the pain in them. I wanted to comfort him, and afterwards he wouldn’t let me go, even after he passed out. So I just laid him down here, and this happened.” Angeal tried to convey what had transpired as best he could, but hearing about it, and witnessing it like he had were two completely different things. 

“What prompted it though? Knowing Spike, there had to be something that caused him to break.” Zack pressed, still not fully understanding how all of this came to pass. 

“I suspect this is Genesis’s doing.” Angeal sighed, trying not to feel angry at the redhead. 

“Gen? What does he have to do with Cloud’s breakdown?” Zack’s head tilted to the side with curiosity. He knew Genesis was a bit overwhelming, and insensitive at times, but the black-haired man couldn’t believe he’d do something to actually hurt Cloud… Unless he didn’t realize the damage he’d caused. 

“He told me he was going to take Cloud for a walk, allow him to stretch his legs, and maybe talk to him, and learn about his past a bit better. He’s always been rather overbearing with his interrogative approach, and he must have pushed Cloud a bit too far.” Angeal conveyed his suspicions to the younger male, making sure to keep his voice as hushed as possible as Zack made his way to sit on the opposite end of the sofa. 

The black-haired man hummed his understanding, his eyes watching the steady rise and fall of the blonde’s back. 

“But he let you touch him? Cloud did?” Zack specified who he was talking about, though, given the situation, he really didn’t need to. 

“I don’t think I’d have had the heart to pull away with how he clung to me. I feel, with Cloud, one just needs to go slow. If you jump up on him, or seem threatening, then he’s much more likely to run away. But if you are careful, much like you have been, and how I was today, then he has time to adjust to your presence enough to allow you into his space.” It was only a guess at this point, but a well founded one on Angeal’s part. 

Zack nodded, his eyes unfocussing as he thought over the raven’s words, before coming up with another possibility himself. 

“Either that, or he’s begun to warm up to you more like he has with me. I mean, think of Seph. I don’t think any kind of ‘slow and steady’ movement would allow him within three feet of Cloud.” Zack explained the reasoning behind his thought, knowing full well how tense the blonde became around Sephiroth. 

“Yes, but I think that’s a bit of a different scenario.” Angeal countered, growing silent when Cloud shifted on top of him, before settling back into a comfortable position and rubbing his cheek against Angeal’s chest. The raven stared fondly at the blonde, who was slowly carving a little space for himself in his thoughts. 

“What do you mean? Seph is a person too, what makes his situation any different from our own?” 

“I think circumstance makes the difference. For one, Sephiroth is the General of Shinra’s army. That in and of itself can be an intimidating prospect, and there’s also this strange look Cloud gets when he sees him--” Angeal trailed off, his mind wandering to the memory of Cloud’s face when he first saw the silver-haired man. 

“Actually, I think I’ve noticed that too. Whenever Seph enters the room, Cloud looks kind of terrified, but also…” Zack didn’t want to finish the sentence, feeling sure he must be mistaken, however, Angeal finished for him. 

“...Like he’s met him before. There’s familiarity there, but also a look of fear, as if he thinks Seph is just going to pounce on him at any moment.” Angeal began to think of the only possible way Cloud could have met Sephiroth before. 

“That’s impossible though, because for Cloud to have met him before would mean they’d have had to meet… on the battlefield.” Zack hesitated in finishing that sentence, not wanting to believe the damaged blonde laying on Angeal could have been their enemy at one point. 

“What seems even more impossible is that hypothesis, mixed with the fact that Cloud’s fighting style is Shinra based, meaning he must have learned to fight from somewhere in Midgar. Potentially even from Shinra itself.” Angeal’s fingers were now absentmindedly moving of their own accord through Cloud’s hair, as he comforted the blonde as much as himself with the action. 

“If Cloud was a student at Shinra though, first off, why don’t we have any records, and second, if he went to fight on the enemies’ side, wouldn’t that make him a traitor?” Zack just couldn’t picture his Cloudy on the frontlines of Wutai’s troops. Aside from that, Cloud had a very distinct image that was easily spottable in a crowd. He doubted he would have come across Cloud, and not have remembered him. And, of course, there was the issue of how Sephiroth didn’t remember Cloud, and how the blonde was even alive if they happened to cross blades. There were just too many holes in this logic, that made it extremely hard to believe. 

“Well, I think it’s possible he was never trained in SOLDIER techniques and fighting styles at Shinra. His mentor could have been a member themselves, and taught Cloud on the sidelines. As for his recognition of Sephiroth, it just doesn’t make sense for Cloud to have gotten into a battle with him, and for Seph to not recognize Cloud in return. I imagine we’ll just have to be patient with what information we have, and wait until things begin to reveal themselves. Cloud is a genuinely good person though, I just know it. My innate intuition may not always be as good as yours, but there is nothing remotely dark or deadly about him, aside from his tendency to glare.” Angeal rambled, trying to vouch for the blonde boy who looked so sweet, and innocent curled around him. 

“Well, then we agree on one thing.” Zack smiled, his puppy-like exuberance resurfacing, as he kicked Angeal’s boot covered foot. “You are just as bad as Gen, always putting your shoes on my couch. If you track in bugs, you’re the one who gets to call an exterminator.” the black-haired man teased half-heartedly. 

“Given the circumstances, I’d say my ‘bug tracking boots’ are justified for today. Remember to respect your elders, Puppy.” Angeal playfully chastised his former pupil. 

“Oh? So you’re an old man now? Well, I can’t really fuck and old dude, that’s a total turn off. So no more of this puppy,” Zack pointed to himself, “for you,” then pointed at Angeal. 

“What is with you insisting on calling me old these days. I’m hardly too much older than you. Should I remind you later what this ‘old man’ can do, that has you returning to my bedside so often?” Angeal’s voice grew deeper, his eyes flashing as he read each of the younger man’s expressions. 

Zack placed a hand on his chest and gasped mockingly. 

“You wouldn’t dare do what I know you’re thinking of doing with Cloud sleeping so sweetly. That has to be some sort of crime.” Zack reached over to pinch one of Cloud’s cheeks, squishing the plump flesh between his thumb and forefinger. “Just look at this innocent little face, honestly Angeal, I thought you were a man of honor, but it turns out you’re just a perv.” Zack snickered and dodge the hand aiming to swat his head, bounding off the couch while trying to remain as quiet as humanly possible. 

“Little shit” Angeal muttered as Zack made a beeline for the bathroom, after announcing he was going to take a shower. 

As the raven looked down at the form resting atop his own, he felt that familiar tightness in his chest. Slowly, as the days progressed, he began to recognize little emotions that fueled it. He wanted to protect Cloud, but today he realized a new type of feeling. A dark, almost… possessive affection he held for the blonde. It was dangerous, but also a sensation he was well acquainted with, as it was the same feeling he developed when he started taking a liking to Zack. 

If this was true, then he might be in trouble, because that spiral of emotions was a hard thing to stop, and one didn’t usually recognize it until it was too late. 

\--------------------------

Genesis made his way through the halls on his way to Sephiroth’s apartment. The general should be back home by now, and the redhead really didn’t want to spend the night alone -- if the throbbing of his ribs was any indication of his discomfort. He was mostly healed, save for a bit of soreness here and there, but he still wanted the relaxation that came with the General’s presence. 

At the same time, Genesis knew the silver-haired man all too well, and for all the man’s calm, and composed demeanor, he was an absolute fucking fiend in bed. He really wasn’t sure if he could handle what Sephiroth might try to dish out right now, so, with a bit of luck, the redhead hoped his lover would simply allow him to rest. 

Approaching the door, he wrapped on it softly, listening to the slight rustling noises on the inside that let him know Seph would answer shortly. When the door opened up, it revealed the jaw dropping image of the general shirtless, but still wearing his leather combat pants. Genesis swallowed, trying his best to cast all dirty thoughts from his head. 

‘Self control, self control.’ He repeated the words over and over in his head like a mantra. 

“Genesis… Is there something wrong?” Sephiroth purred, knowing what that tone of voice would do to the man at his doorstep. 

‘Yes there’s something wrong asshole, the problem is you flaunting your perfect body without an ounce of shame.’ Normally, Genesis might have spoken the snarky comeback out loud, but reminded himself he was trying to practice restraint. So instead, he moistened his dry lips, took in a deep breath, and replied with something a bit more tame. 

“No, not that I can recall. I just wanted to ask if I could sleep here.” The redhead worded his sentence carefully, putting emphasis on “sleep” in an effort to diffuse the sexual tension in the air. 

“Sleep here, or sleep with me?” Sephiroth asked, not an ounce of remorse or hesitation to be found in his voice. 

‘Aah fuck, self control. SELF CONTROL.’

Genesis kept his eyes locked with the silver-haired man in a challenging gaze, which had Sephiroth arching his brow at the younger male. 

“Sleep… here?” The statement, which sounded strong in his head, came out more like a question when it finally escaped his lips. 

The smallest upward twitch could be seen at the corner of Sephiroth’s mouth, before he stepped aside to allow the redhead to enter his apartment. 

The General, much as he did with his office, kept his apartment just as tidy, and organized. The colors were mostly monochrome shades of grey, black, and white. It had an ethereal, modern, sheek design, that screamed “pampered city boy.”

Genesis opened his mouth to ask if he could borrow a pair of Seph’s sleep pants, when suddenly all the air was knocked out of him. He found himself pressed against a wall, his hands pinned above his head, and hot breath trailing across his neck. The silver-haired man’s body was flush against his, allowing Genesis to already feel the growing problem in his nether regions. 

“I know you, Genesis, perhaps a bit better than you even know yourself. You want me to bend you over, and fuck you until you can’t move, you just don’t think you should give into your desires. But if you ask nicely, I might just give you exactly what you’re secretly craving.” Sephiroth purred in his ear, before licking the shell, slowly, and sensually. 

Genesis moaned, his hips bucking forwards to meet the General’s, who used the hand that wasn’t holding the redhead’s wrists to still the action. 

“Angeal told me about your dirty mouth today.” Sephiroth pressed the pad of his thumb against the lips of a very wide eyed Genesis. “And now I happen to have you here in my apartment. So answer me this, Gen, are you such a little slut that one cock wasn’t good enough for you? Do you crave more?” 

“Why is it that the most words you ever utter--” Genesis took a moment to catch his breath as his senses went into overload “--come out during sex?” He finished.

“Because communication is imperative to copulation.” Sephiroth stated matter-of-factly, grinding his hips into the redhead’s own to give him a bit of that sweet friction he craved. “Therefore, I won’t do anything to you until you give me your consent. If you truly don’t want to do this, then tell me, and I’ll stop now, though...” Sephiroth’s mouth hovered over Genesis’s, causing the younger male to thrust his head forwards in an attempt at connecting their lips. “I don’t think you want that, do you?”

Genesis’s head fell back against the wall behind him with a strangled groan, his desperation truly seeping through now. 

“Dammit, Seph!” He growled, glaring up at the silver-haired man, who looked completely unfazed. 

“You have to say the words, sweet.” Terms of endearment were rare with Sephiroth, who typically only uttered dirty, or derogatory words during sex. But when he did use them, they were always well placed, and achieved their goal of riling up his partner further. 

Genesis would never grow used to swallowing his pride in order to beg for Sephiroth to fuck him. However, something about the action excited him even more than he cared to admit. 

The redhead’s eyes were glazed over with lust, his breath coming out in short, heated pants as he stared into Sephiroth’s unyielding gaze. His eyelids fluttered closed for a second, as mentally prepared himself to concede to his lover. 

“P-please, Seph” Genesis’s voice came out as barely a whisper, being more breath than actual words. 

“Please, what, Gen?” Sephiroth pressed further, intending to make the redhead completely submit himself to his mercy.

“Please… fuck me,” the last part of the sentence were so quiet, even enhanced hearing would have a hard time picking it up. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that,” the General feigned ignorance. 

Genesis had had enough of this teasing game, and wanted his silver-haired lover to finish what he’d started. So he used one of his legs to wrap around Sephiroth’s hips, yanking them against his own with a satisfied Groan. 

“Fuck me, Sephiroth!” He demanded, his glare hard and strongly set on his partner. 

Sephiroth smirked, baring his unusually sharp incisors to the man beneath him. 

“My, aren’t we demanding tonight, and Angeal told me you were such a good boy earlier.” Sephiroth commented, attaching his lips to the redhead’s neck, and leaving a trail of dark marks in his wake. 

“Yah, well Angeal doesn’t fucking tease me, and make me beg. If anything, I’m always the one who has to start things, ah!” Genesis let out a sharp moan, that escaped more as a soft holler. 

“I suppose that might be true, Angeal is a bit softer, isn’t he? Would you prefer him?” Sephiroth whispered against the newest mark he left on pale skin, bringing the hand on Genesis’s waist up to travel beneath the man’s shirt. “Would you prefer a gentler touch, careful, and slow--” the General drew out the word “slow,” almost like the quietest of moans. 

“Is that really your style, Seph?” the redhead asked, knowing Sephiroth would assuredly be gentle if he asked, but also knowing how the silver-haired man preferred to have his lovers. Gentle sex was rarely a thing the General, and was reserved for special occasions, or when one of his boyfriends was in need of comforting. Since his conception, pacified expressions of intimacy had never been something Sephiroth was familiar with. He was capable of them to those he truly cared for, of course, but it didn’t come as naturally. 

“Hmph, not particularly,” Sephiroth released a breathy laugh, relishing in the sweet sounds that fell from his lover’s lips as he pinched a swelling nipple between his fingers. 

Genesis was so hard it was painful, his mind set on one thing alone -- release. As if reading the younger male’s mind, Sephiroth fisted his hand in red hair, yanking him around and pressing his face against the wall. The front of his larger form was now pressed against the back of the small one in his grasp. Genesis left a string of moans in his wake, as his hips were coaxed back, his pants and underwear yanked off with ease. 

“Seph…” He began with a whimper, only to be silenced by a strong grip on the back of his neck, forcing him into compliance. 

“This is your last chance, Gen, if you do not want this, then tell me now, because once I start I won’t be able to stop.” Sephiroth warned, restraint clear in his words. 

Genesis knew that much of what his partner said was true. Sephiroth’s urges during intercorse were primal by design, and nearly impossible to stop mid action. For this reason, the General had never taken on a lover until he and Angeal, who could hand it. Later, when Zack joined the group, Sephiroth wouldn’t so much as lift a finger to the youngest male in fear that he would harm him. It tore Zack up, because he thought for the longest time the silver-haired man just hated him, despite Angeal and Genesis trying to explain the situation. Even still, the black-haired man could not handle too much from Seph, his body not as enhanced as the other two male’s were. 

“I’m yours, Seph” Genesis submitted, his head tossing back in a scream of both pleasure and agony when Sephiroth entered him in one, fast, smooth thrust. 

A deep growl echoed in his ear, silver hair falling over his shoulders like a silken curtain. 

One thing Sephiroth always had going for him, that Genesis was convinced should be considered an actual talent, was his ability to alway aim directly at his partner’s prostate. The assault was almost painful, as every time the man pounded into the redhead, he was overwhelmed with intense pleasure. 

The sounds filled the air, the slapping of skin against skin, the strangled moans and cries of pleasure from Genesis, and the growls and grunts escaping Sephiroth. It was sinful, yet almost poetically beautiful. 

The younger man felt the rubber band of impending release tighten in his lower stomach. One of his hands pressed against the skin there, as the sheer size of Sephiroth seemed to penetrate him deeper than any ever could. Just as he was about to welcome the sweet sensation of an explosive orgasm, and hand gripped around the base of his cock. 

“Ah ah, not yet, be good for me and wait a bit longer.” Sephiroth grunted, picking up his pace to an inhuman speed. 

“S-Seph, please--” Genesis whined out, sounding like a petulant child, begging for a piece of candy at the grocery store. He squirmed a bit in the older man’s grip, trying to break the vice on his leaking cock. 

Sephiroth was having none of it though, returning a taming hand to squeeze the back of Genesis’s neck. He bit into the flesh on one side, leaving a deep, punishing mark that allowed a small amount of blood to leak out. 

“Be still, or I’ll finish myself off, and leave you without release. Remember well, you are not beneath me, Gen, but you will always receive me until you no longer wish to have me. I decide when you deserve to cum, that is part of the gift of your submission, and my gift to you if I so choose.” Sephiroth somehow managed to get the eloquent words out between aggressive thrusts, his grunts growing louder as he reached his peak. 

“Please--” Genesis begged in a very, extremely quiet whisper.

All of the love the General felt for the man powered his restraint into a few more softer, careful thrusts. His emotions could be felt, along with his desire to pleasure, protect, and comfort his weeping partner, who clearly had reached his limit. 

“Cum for me, sweet” Sephiroth growled silently in his lover’s ear, his own release filling the tight entrance that spasmed around him. 

Each jet of the sticky liquid heated up Genesis’s insides, making the redhead’s orgasm all the better. 

Sephiroth remained like that for a minute, as if confirming that he was finished, and that his partner truly belonged to him. When he finally removed himself, he caught Genesis’s crumpling form before it could hit the ground. 

“I’ve got you.” He comforted, wiping some of the sweat from a red-tinted brow. “So good for me” he continued mumbling his sweet words, making sure Genesis knew how much he was treasured. 

“You owe me food” Genesis grunted, sounding an awful lot like Zack at the moment. 

Sephiroth’s laugh was always the nicest thing to hear, perhaps because of its rarity. The younger male allowed the sound to surround him in a new kind of heat, one of passion, rather than arousal. 

“Anything you want.” His lover promised, bringing the redhead with him to rest after the night’s events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song for chapter title and quote: Heart upon my sleeve by Avicii and Imagine Dragons.


	10. Wicked Game

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hojo reveals why Cloud is so important to him and his new project, "Project R." Angeal really needs to pee, and Cloud has become a major obstacle in the way of that. Genesis wakes up in Seph's arms, Dying of heat, and resorting to violence as a means of escape. Not long after the redhead woke up, Angeal shows up and begins asking Genesis questions about his encounter with Cloud -- A fight ensues. Zack resorts to puppy eyes in order to force Cloud to join him in the mess hall for dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely readers. OMG thank you all so much for over 4000 hits, and 250 kudos! I never thought this story would even get anywhere near those numbers, so know I am truly grateful. Also, thank you for all the amazing comments, as I really enjoy reading them, and replying to as many as possible. :) Another chapter out, which makes it the third one this week if I'm not mistaken. Wow, have my fingers spent more time on this keyboard than they have been reading my textbooks. :'D Anyhow, I am so invested in writing this story, and it's just been so much fun. I keep having to restrain myself from giving everything away when I see some of your comments. I must exercise more self restraint than Genesis had in the last chapter. I'm rambling again, so I'll see myself out now. Thank you all again so much for your support!
> 
> **WARNINGS: Hojo (at the very beginning no less O^O), fighting between lovers (mild slut shaming, but not really meant that way if that makes sense?), heavy angst (reader be warned, you will be left on several cliffhangers after this chapter, because I am pure evil)** 
> 
> This chapter is a little soap opera-y, but I'm still rather proud of it, so I hope you enjoy!

The world was on fire 

And no one could save me but you

It's strange what desire will make foolish people do

I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you

and I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

No, I don't wanna fall in love

What a wicked game to play

to make me feel this way

what a wicked thing to do

to let me dream of you

\----------------------

The project file laid across the red-oaken desk was thick, and may seem to be a promising trove of potentially detailed, and informative ramblings. However, if one were to begin unfolding the pages, one by one -- reading each line of notes, and hesitantly drawn charts -- they would begin to see the truth that laid behind pretty words. 

This file was nothing but a glorified book of failures. 

Each night, its very presence tormented the scientist of whom it belonged to; taunting him, teasing him. For many years had Hojo been working on this, -- appropriately titled, “Project R” -- an evolution that would be the pinnacle of all his studies. A mutation of the finest, which would bear the fruits of his years of suffering.

Everyone in SOLDIER, and higher up knew the truth of mako injections, and how the cells of the host would ultimately be broken down. Each bit of muscle would be reduced to mush, and each length of bone would grow dry and brittle, as the mako stole everything they once were. 

Degradation, as they called it. 

One traded the promise of a long and healthy life, for power, and strength. The only ones safe from this cruel twist of fate, were those of first class ranking. Mako may breathe life into a third and second class SOLDIER, but the Jenova cells -- the very cells that could stop degradation -- made the first class SOLDIER what they were: practically invincible, yet borderline inhuman. 

Every young SOLDIER strived to be a first, if not for the glory, then to ensure they’d live beyond their thirtieth birthday. But of course, only a handful had the strength, and potential to become a first. It wasn’t just the mental and physical strength in combat that was needed, but also biological strength. Becoming a host to Jenova cells was dangerous, and had killed more men than it had made stronger. 

It was the one major flaw in the, seemingly perfect, system that saw them losing dozens of strong men every year. If allowed to continue, Shinra may be left weakened, which in turn posed a threat to Hojo, and his freedom to research as he pleased. 

There was but a glimmer of hope though, which laid in Project R. It would not only reduce degradation, but it could reverse the effects completely, and produce a being of infinite possibility. 

Hojo flipped through the file before him, turning to the page that detailed his theorized reasoning. 

In order for cells to be passed down to lesser candidates, one needed to have a first, pure specimen. Sephiroth had been that for the original Jenova cells, which allowed for Hojo to extract the general’s already refined cells, and implant them in first class candidates. The bodies of the new hosts would then be able to absorb these refined cells, in a way that their lesser genetics could handle. 

The cells extracted from Jenova herself had been from wherever Hojo had been able to get a clean draw at the time. However, the tomb that is the being’s body was full of infinite potentials, and different kinds of cells. One of which the scientist discovered just a few years back, and named “regenerative cells.” True to their name, these were cells that breathed mako through Jenova’s body. Not only did they prevent degradation altogether, but they actually produced their own little lifestream inside of her. Mako ran through her veins, right alongside her crimson blood. A cut could be healed in a second, while life-threatening injuries could heal in minutes. 

This was where project R came to his brilliant mind, for if he could find the perfect first host, he could birth a new line of SOLDIERs, even better than the last. These SOLDIERs would never die on the battlefield, and could become stronger than any human or beast that had ever walked this planet. Aside from this, sterility would no longer be a hindrance either. Mako tended to render all SOLDIERs completely barren, and unable to reproduce. With this, they would be able to begin a new line of enhanced humans, that would allow new SOLDIERs to be bred, rather than made. 

Indeed, a perfect creature, that would be of Hojo’s own making. 

Project R, or, Project Regeneration, required as close of a Jenovan genetic match as he could find. Other than Sephiroth, whom he no longer had the clearance to experiment on, no other had presented themselves to him. 

That was, until recently. 

Cloud Strife, the mysterious young man who had appeared in everyone's lives just recently. He was the closest genetic match to Jenova that he’d seen since Sephiroth himself. Hojo could only see the small blonde as a gift from the gods, a gift he’d been granted after years of fruitless research, and experiments. 

Each experiment he’d done on lesser beings thus far, had seen their blood turning to a black, ashen goop. This was a clear sign that the Jenova regeneration cells had been rejected by their body, causing it to kill every human cell and decay. What Hojo longed for, was to see the distinct green glow of blood cells binding with R cells. 

With Cloud, he now knew this was possible, as he stared at a test tube resting on his desk in a small, decorative glass case. The tube glowed brilliantly, and beautifully, with traces of crimson swimming inside like dancing ribbons. This was the one and only positive match he’d seen out of the thousands he had tested. And the owner of the blood, twisting around in a sea of mako as life was breathed into it, was none other than Cloud Strife.

Hojo had seen his blood results the first day the man had arrived, when one of his assistants had gone to do his medical evaluation. When he saw the words on the computer, “Jenova carrier,” he wasted no time in mixing the rest of the blood sample with his experimental R cells. It had now been several long days, and the red fluid in the test tube should have long since turned dry and brown -- blood cells dead from being outside of the host's body too long. Instead, the red ribbons survived, and continued to swirl around in the mako they had produced themselves. It was an invigorating, and tear-inducing sight, that had Hojo’s patience hanging on a thin thread. He felt the itching burn under his skin, that begged him to snatch up the blonde, and begin the assimilation process. 

The blonde’s blood would be drained out of his body in tubes, carrying it through a machine so it could be mixed completely with the Jenovan R cells. Only when Cloud was close to death, and his cheeks completely devoid of their lustrous blush, would the replacement begin. The mutated cells would be pushed back into his body, where they would become like ants and begin burrowing into their new home. 

And that was just the beginning. 

The new cells would need pampering, and careful nurturing as they began to change Cloud’s body. Organs would need to be carefully monitored, as the blonde would essentially be paralyzed while the change took place. Life would slowly be breathed through each system: starting in the Circulatory system, before moving to Respiratory, Musculoskeletal, Nervous, Digestive, Immune, Endocrine, Renal, Integumentary, and finally, the Reproductive system. 

Through each phase -- each system -- the scientist would have to be completely alert, and attentive. As the cells spilled into every part of the blonde’s body, he would need to nurture the offended system with care. He would be damned if he let Cloud die, because one part of the small body decided to explode under the pressure of the mutation. 

It would surely be grueling for Hojo, but complete agony of the highest caliber for Cloud. If the blonde’s mind broke, that could be mended with time, but if his body broke, then the scientist would be left back at the beginning. He refused to let that happen, even if it cost him what remained of his sanity. 

Project R would be a success, no matter what he had to do to make it such. 

A knock on his door had Hojo glaring at the cold metal like he could ignite the person on the other side, who dared to disturb him. 

“What?!” He shouted scornfully, chastising himself for his inability to keep up his kind and professional facade at the moment. 

Hesitantly, a young, blonde woman, donning a white lab coat walked in, carrying a small letter with a red seal in hand. Hojo didn’t miss the way the younger scientist shook as she closed the door behind her, clearly fearful of the man sitting before her. Every once in a while, her eyes would flit up to meet Hojo’s own, before darting back to the floor apprehensively. On just one occasion, her gaze seemed to drift to the vial he had all but encased like a treasure atop his desk. Like Hojo, she was enthralled by the beautiful expression of the positive result. 

“There’s a letter from Professor Hollander, sir.” She spoke timidly, her voice but a meer whisper in the small space. 

The scientist perked at that, his eyes flashing with hope over the thought that perhaps the failure of a man had succeeded at something. 

“Hand it here please, deary.” His faux kindness making its way back into his voice. 

The girl seemed to perk up at the scientist’s sudden change in mood, before nodding and rushing over to his desk. Once the envelope was secure in Hojo’s hands, he sent the assistant off to go about her duties, and put his full focus in the piece of parchment. 

The envelope itself was an off-white shade, similar to a grainy manila folder. It held but one name, Hojo’s own to let him know it was indeed intended for him. There was no return address, nor any other information that could be used to trace the letter back to its sender. Smart on Hollander’s part, since the man knew Hojo’s mood swings often led to his increased hate for the lesser scientist. 

The only thing that said the letter was from Hollander, was the red seal holding the flaps of the envelope closed. The emblem of a Banora apple was present on the seal, along with a letter ‘H.’ Hollander had always been rather partial to the apples of the village, even if he seemed to have no real connection to Banora itself. With the amount of Banora White Juice he kept scattered around his home, it didn’t surprise Hojo when the man decided to make his seal that of the infamous “dumb apple.” In fact, he thought it rather befitting of a “dumb scientist,” none the smarter than the fruit of the beverage he loved so much. 

Hojo wasted no time, as he pushed his boney forefinger under the flap, and popped the envelope open. 

\--------------------------

Angeal really, really had to piss. 

The black-haired man was trying his hardest to keep the floodgates at bay, so as not to disturb the blonde sleeping peacefully on his chest. But he wasn’t sure how much longer he’d be able to hold out against the twinges of pain in his bladder. Where before he hoped Cloud would rest for as long as possible, he now felt himself silently wishing he would wake up. 

It was already rather late into the next morning, and Angeal had spent most of that time attending to paperwork and other Shinra related matters. He got a bit of sleep in between, but not much seeing as how every time Cloud shifted it caused him to wake up Maybe if he was gentle about it, rousing Cloud from his slumber might not end too badly. After all, if the blonde didn’t wake up soon, then he would be unable to rest properly that night. 

Making up his mind, the black-haired male took a deep breath, and carefully situated himself so he was sitting up better. Cloud groaned in agitation, but his eyes still remained closed as his breath evened back out. Angeal sighed, clicking the screen of his PHS off, and placing it safely off to the side. He then outstretched the, now empty, hand out to run it through soft hair one last time -- relishing in the mundane peace of it all. Nimble fingers fell from the tufts, the backs of them smoothing over the plump flesh of a flushed cheek. After drawing the affair out for as long as possible, Angeal’s hand finally fell onto Cloud’s shoulder. He shook the smaller male, whispering his name gently in fear that speaking too loud would have him running. 

“Cloud, you need to wake up” he breathed out, teal colored eyes glancing up when Zack’s silhouette appeared at the entrance of the living room. 

“What are you doing Ang?” the younger SOLDIER whispered, his eyes flashing with worry at the prospect of an explosive reaction from Cloud. 

Zack himself had woken up rather early, as his absence from work led to a build up of paperwork on the black-haired man’s desk. He only returned about an hour ago, and had been wearing a scornful grimace from spending hours with his worst enemy. The finer details of being a SOLDIER -- namely documentation and reports -- had never been Zacks strong suit. 

“He needs to get up, or he won’t sleep tonight, and I really have to piss.” Angeal answered, before shaking Cloud’s shoulder lightly again. 

Zack crossed his arms over his chest, his face contouring into one of humor. 

“You wouldn’t be able to wake anyone up like that, I think you’re gonna need to be a little bit louder.” the black-haired man stated, while watching the pitiful attempts Angeal made at trying to get Cloud to open his eyes. 

“I don’t want to shock him,” the raven countered, staring down helplessly at the blonde when his bladder made its presence known again -- the pressure becoming almost unbearable. 

“He’s going to be shocked either way--” Zack stopped trying to reason with Angeal mid sentence. Rolling his eyes, he inhaled through his nose, before shouting “time to wake up, Spikey!”

It was almost comical how impossibly wide the raven’s eyes grew, as he looked upon his student in betrayal. It did the trick though, when, less than a second later, a blonde head popped up from where it had been resting on a toned chest. A line of drool still connected the flesh of his plump, sleep-swollen lips to Angeal’s shirt. Prompting Cloud to reach a confused fist up to wipe the liquid away with a disgusted grunt. His blue eyes were foggy, but still lost none of their luster with their faint, mako glow. Lashes fluttered a bit, the last traces of a sleepy mind slowly disappearing. 

Angeal felt his chest swell once more, causing a whispered curse to fly from his lips under his breath. He’d never seen Cloud when he was first waking up before, since the blonde was usually up before even he had the sense to roll out of bed. Seeing it now made him almost sad that he’d missed such an adorable scene in the past. When the blonde was awake, his face was always marred by contorted grimaces, glares, or simply by no emotion whatsoever. This cuter, gentler side of Cloud was enthralling if nothing else, but also short lived. 

The raven had already prepared himself for Cloud’s outburst, as realization of his predicament dawned upon blue eyes. At first, the blonde just looked around himself, taking in the smiling figure of Zack in the sitting room doorway. The black-haired man’s eyes were reassuring, as he practically begged to the gods that this situation wouldn’t go south. Then his gaze turned to Angeal, his entire body stilling on top of the raven, who sat there quietly, waiting to see what Cloud would do. 

For a solid, silent moment, the younger male did nothing but sit there, hands splayed across Angeal’s sturdy chest as he held himself up. His breaths were dangerously slow in comparison to the short, and soft snores that had been escaping not long ago. He shifted, just the barest of movements, which had a groan escaping Angeal when it put pressure on his aching bladder. And that little sound was all the blonde lightning bolt needed to jump off of the older man, and sprint out of the room. His lithe form went shooting past Zack before the black-haired man could catch him. A door slammed down the hall, which Angeal could only guess to belong to Cloud’s bedroom. 

“All things considered, that could have gone a lot worse,” Zack supplied, taking in the saddened, frustrated look on his mentor’s face. 

It wasn’t a lie. Cloud was probably overwhelmed and needed his space, and given how he could have reacted, simply leaving the room was rather tame. Still, Angeal felt a bit of loss as coldness began to spread over his body, which had previously been covered by a warm blanket known as Cloud. 

“Ang… It’s just Cloud. Don’t take it to heart, you know he’s not a touchy feely person. I don’t really understand why it’s bothering you so much, unless you--” Zack was cut off by Angeal, as the Raven sensed what the younger man was about to accuse. 

“No, I know, Zack. It’s nothing like that, I just wanted to make sure he was okay before he ran off.” Angeal tried to convince the younger SOLDIER -- tried to convince himself. He sat up fully, before clearing his throat in discomfort under his intuitive student’s scrutiny. “Do you happen to know where Gen is? I feel he should know what transpired earlier, and I have to leave for Junon soon.” 

The last part of that sentence had Zack uncrossing his arms, curiosity peaked. 

“Gen stayed with Seph last night, so as far as I know he’s still over there.” The younger rambled out quickly so he could get to what he really wanted to say. “Why are you being sent to Junon? There haven't been any reports of Wutai near that area, and monster sightings are rather low at the moment.” 

It was truly a marvel how Zack could go from teasing, and laughing one minute, to completely serious. At times, Angeal forgot how his little puppy was no longer the little cadet he’d taken under his wing all those years ago. The black-haired man had definitely matured, though he still had an immature, mischievous streak that was just inherently… well, Zack. Angeal suspected some things would probably never change, and he took comfort in that fact. The Zack he and the others fell for was the same man who stood before him now, if just a bit taller, stronger, and wiser. Underestimating him because of his happy-go-lucky attitude, and kind heart was often the last mistake many had made. Zack’s sense of mercy was a gift, not a weakness. 

Shaking himself from his thoughts, Angeal figured he should answer his student before the man grew impatient. 

“The Mako Canon in Junon has been reported by on-sight infantry as malfunctioning. It is one of Shinra’s greatest defenses, and if there is something truly wrong with it, there could be problems down the line. My suspicions are that it’s just false readings from an influx surge of mako. Shinra would rather be safe than sorry though, so I’m being sent off for a couple of days to stall ports, and make sure everything is alright.” Angeal explained, a deep frown set on his forehead as he stared off to the side. 

Truthfully, he did not want to travel to Junon for several reasons. The first, being the mountain of paperwork he still had to go through. Even though he’d been trying to play catch up, his attention having been set on Cloud for several days like the rest of them, he still wasn’t completely up to date with everything. Additionally, leaving right now didn’t settle right with him when he’d had the blonde sobbing in his arms just the day before. He knew Zack could take care of Cloud while he went away for a couple of days, but his nurturing nature still cursed him for his decision. 

“Why are they sending you out to review a Shinra military weapon though? Shouldn’t they be sending out one of Scarlet’s men, or someone else from the weapon's development department? You are a SOLDIER, not a mechanic.” Zack mused, clearly just as upset about the situation as Angeal was.

“There’s not enough personnel available for on-sight jobs at the moment, and they’re worried the malfunction could cause a high level leak. Who knows what kind of beasts could crawl out when they taste mako in the air -- it drives them to insanity. It’s best not to have weaker men exposed to that much mako, and dangerous enemies.” Angeal elaborated, knowing a SOLDIER like himself was the best candidate for the assignment. Though, they probably could have gotten away with sending a second class to the sight, rather than him. 

Zack hummed thoughtfully, digging his hands into the pockets of his uniform slacks, his hips leaning forwards a bit in a standing slouch. 

“Something feels… I don’t know. Off lately?” It was worded like a question, as if the younger man were trying to gauge whether or not the raven was feeling the same things as him. “I mean, first it was the terrorist group, then Cloud came along, and I know for a fact this isn’t the first report of Shinra tech going all screwy on us. They call it all a coincidence, but even I have noticed the increase in turks moving around Midgar. They only come out like this when Shinra has something to hide, or be wary of. It makes you wonder, ya know?” Zack quizzed, his worried eyes looking to his mentor for solace, or even advice.

Angeal didn’t have much to give though, other than empty words of propaganda driven faith. 

“Shinra knows what it’s doing. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have my suspicions, but when things get concerning, the last thing we need to be doing is turning on each other. Sephiroth is tuned into most Shinra-related affairs, and I’m sure if there was anything too worrying, he’d relay it to us.” Angeal consoled, trying to find logic where it seemed to lack. 

Zack’s face remained a bit dark for a few extra moments as he processed the words, before it all seemed to disappear with a single blink. The black-haired man was running and jumping on the older SOLDIER before Angeal even had a chance to react. 

Angeal’s head tossed back as a loud, deep groan of discomfort flew past his lips with the pressure it put on his bladder. Which reminded him, he still desperately needed to piss. 

“Cloud got you all night, now it’s my turn to take a nap on my favorite pillow.” Zack bubble excitedly, his puppy-like personality revived anew as he made himself comfortable laying on Angeal’s chest. He rubbed his face in the raven’s shirt, inhaling his smell deeply like he was trying to burn it into his memories. 

Out of all of them, Angeal’s scent was the most diluted, and difficult to pick up. In order to really breath it in, one had to practically have their nose buried against the man’s body. Zack had suspected it was because of his mentor’s dislike for strong smells, that led him to using as little product as possible. Because of this though, it also made the older SOLDIER’s scent much more natural, musky, and seductive in its own way. 

When Cloud had passed by Zack, as he retreated down the hall, the black-haired man hadn’t missed how much of Angeal’s scent the younger was now carrying. Cloud himself had a rather unique smell that, much like his looks, stood out significantly, but in a good way. It was a bit sweeter than the man beneath him, but also carried a slight bitterness to it. He smelled of a mixture of something akin to blueberries, coarse musk -- like the rain covered forests of his hometown, Gongaga -- the barest hint of metal, and something else that was almost overpoweringly sweet. 

But when Cloud had maneuvered past Zack, his bitter-sweet scent had been mixed with Angeal’s headier smell. It was like sweet and salty coming together in a teasing concoction, that could easily make one drunk with longing. That same mixture was still imprinted in Angeal’s shirt, making Zack almost let out a sigh of contentment, while he pressed his nose deeper into the material. 

“Zack, as much as I would love to keep laying here with you, if I don’t go to the bathroom right now I’m going to end up pissing on both of us.” Angeal warned, his face screwing into one of clear discomfort, as he rubbed Zack’s back reassuringly. 

A very Zack-like whine fell from frowning lips, while the black-haired man forced himself to move away from his lover. The younger SOLDIER knew, now that Angeal was up, he’d probably be leaving to go find Genesis soon. The raven’s departure was probably set sometime in the early afternoon, which meant he was running out of time to set his affairs in order before leaving. Zack would have to wait several, long days before he would be able to find comfort in that warm embrace again. 

Sure, he could run to Sephiroth’s bed, but he didn’t like leaving Cloud here alone, locked up like a caged animal. He could invite the General to his home, but the blonde did not seem to feel very comfortable in his presence -- that was something they all knew. Until he knew what happened between Cloud and Genesis, he couldn't really invite the redhead over either. It seemed that the only two people given the green light by Cloud so far, was Zack himself, and Angeal. Which meant the only one of his lovers he could spend the night with, was about to march out the door. 

Sighing, Zack pressed himself back against the plush cushions of his couch, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. 

Being a social butterfly, Zack couldn’t help but feel a bit lonely in the quiet room all by himself -- it was rather bitter. 

Perhaps, in a bit, he’d see if he could drag Cloud to the mess hall with him. It would do the blonde good to be introduced to some of the people he might be working with in the near future. But aside from that, the real reason was because Angeal was leaving, and honestly…

Zack couldn’t cook for shit. 

\---------------------------

As Genesis woke up from his deep slumber, he realized how swelteringly hot he was, and not hot as in attractive. Well, he was definitely a hot piece of ass, but this heat was physical, and sweat inducing. Sephiroth was wrapped around him like a child holds a teddy bear, and the General’s body heat was pouring from his skin. The redhead would never grow used to the furnace that was Sephiroth. In fact, the only one he could lay with, and not sweat his ass off in the process, was Angeal. 

The raven had a fairly normal body temperature, if not a little lower than Genesis’s own. But Zack was a little ball of fire, and Sephiroth was the whole fucking sun. Gods help him when he was stuck between the two of them. It was honestly like being put inside of an oven, and pressing the “broil” button. One of these days, he was going to get sunburn or something, and guilt trip them for the rest of their lives. 

“Seph,” Genesis mumbled around the arm pressed against his lips, his body squirming a bit as he tried to free himself. 

“Hm?” The General grunted, never once opening his eyes, clearly content to stay sleeping. 

“Can’t breathe,” the redhead’s words lisped, as Sephiroth tightened his grip on his lover protectively. 

This was another trait of the silver-haired man, that Genesis both loved and hated. Sephiroth’s attitude towards his lovers, especially when first waking up, was very protective, and borderline possessive. Many a time had Genesis simply been sitting down -- busying himself with a bit of light reading, or watching television -- when the General decided to pull him into a death grip. It was as if Sephiroth worried they would be whisked away if he so much as blinked his eyes. In their line of work, the redhead was honestly surprised the General didn’t go mad when they left on assignments. 

Of course, Sephiroth was rather secluded, and quiet about his protective nature. But when he first woke up in the morning, or was feeling extra anxious and insecure, instinct rose back to the forefront of his mind. Most days it made Genesis feel loved, and treasured, but right now, it was making him die of heat stroke. 

The redhead tried again. 

“Seph, you’re going to kill me.” He muttered, trying to keep his patience in check. 

“Mmm,” was the only sound that left the General’s lips, his breath evening back out. 

Genesis’s brow twitched once, then again, before he finally lost all composure and exploded. He reared his head back sharply, hearing a satisfying shout of pain as it connected with Sephiroth’s nose. The silver-haired man released him to coddle the aching appendage, allowing Genesis to gracefully hop out of the bed. 

The redhead stood and stretched his body, relishing in the cool freedom that swirled around him. It would be perfect if not for the slight ache in his ass and ribs, that reminded him of getting bested by Cloud the day before, and then pounded into the wall by the general. 

Genesis ignored the grumblings of his oldest lover, until he felt satisfied enough to turn his body and face the glaring man. 

“Good morning, darling,” the redhead spoke in a sing-song voice, his face showing no remorse whatsoever. 

The General looked like he was about to reply with something snarky, when a knock at the front door echoed through the large apartment. 

“It would seem you have company,” Genesis remarked, bounding for the door with no care that he was still naked as the day he was born. 

There were only two other people besides himself who would dare knock on the General’s door directly, and they were Zack and -- 

“Angeal, what brings you here so early in the morning?” Genesis asked, leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed. 

He was a bit peeved that the raven had shared with Sephiroth about their fun time together yesterday. It wasn’t that their relations had to be a secret, but the dirty words and images the General had conjured last night, using that information, had been a contributing factor to Genesis’s lack of restraint. 

“It’s almost the afternoon, Gen, and I actually wanted to speak with you.” Angeal replied seriously. 

The redhead didn’t miss the way teal eyes jerked down a few times to admire his nakedness. It had him feeling a bit triumphant, actually, that Angeal was definitely having a hard time keeping his hands to himself. 

“Angeal?” Sephiroth spoke the name like a question from a little ways behind Genesis. He was surprised at seeing Angeal, when he knew his lover was to be leaving for Junon soon. 

Sephiroth would always see his partner’s departure, so none of them tended to stop by before they made their way to the helicopter pads. Angeal, especially, was very attentive, and liked to make sure he was well prepared before leaving. 

“Hey Seph,” Angeal greeted with a nod of his head, pleased that the General had enough modesty to pull on a pair of loose-fitting pants, unlike a certain redhead. 

“What is it you need me for?” Genesis drew Angeal’s attention back to him, not taking a liking to being left hanging. 

“It’s about Cloud,” Angeal began, noticing the way Genesis perked, and Sephiroth stiffened in the background. “Something happened yesterday, and I wanted to know if you had a hand in it.” Angeal finished, muttering a thanks when the redhead stepped aside so he could enter the apartment. 

Genesis turned his back to the raven once he was inside, making his way to the kitchen so he could grab a drink. 

Sephiroth sat on the couch, feigning disinterest as he scrolled through his PHS, but judging his previous reaction, Angeal knew he was secretly listening in. 

After pulling a bottle of water out of the stainless steel fridge -- the only beverage Sephiroth ever seemed to cater -- he sat on a barstool, and leaned forwards on the kitchen counter. The redhead took a few large gulps, satiating his Sephiroth-induced dehydration. It was a wonder he hadn’t sweat out all of the water in his body the night before. After placing the bottle back down on the counter, and recapping it, he finally turned all of his attention to the raven standing on the other side of the counter. 

“So, what about the little blonde annoyance had you going out of your way to locate me this morning? You have to leave for Junon soon, am I correct?” he asked, tilting his head a bit, as he ran fingers over the jet-black surface beneath his arms. 

“I don’t want to make assumptions, but did you… do something to Cloud on your walk yesterday?” Angeal ignored the second question, since he knew Genesis was already aware of his assignment. The question that spilled from the raven’s own lips was spoken hesitantly, as he hoped Genesis didn’t have a hand in Cloud’s breakdown. 

“Do something?” Angeal quizzed, resting his head on one of his palms, as he traced the edge of the water bottle over his lips in thought. 

“Yes, like push him too hard for information?” Angeal elaborated, eyes flickering down to the action. 

Anytime Genesis was nervous, thoughtful, or stressed, he would always trace that plump bottom lip. Whether it be with a water bottle, like he was doing now, or simply with his fingers. It was very much like Zack’s nervous habit of scratching through his tufts of black hair, and did little to alleviate Angeal’s worries. 

“May I ask what Cloud did to cause you to seek me out?” Genesis continued their long line of questions, neither of the two men truly answering them. 

“Cloud had a breakdown of sorts when he came through the door after walking with you yesterday. At first, he just seemed to be having a panic attack, which, as you know, Zack used to get often. So I tried my best to comfort him, without actually touching him. But when I finally got him to turn to me… he just broke. He started crying so hard he could barely breathe, and wouldn’t stop until I was holding him.” Angeal was the first to break the question streak, finally relenting to explaining his reasoning behind wanting to talk to Genesis. 

“Cloud did? He let you hug him?” Sephiroth, unable to hide clear curiosity, wore as much of an astonished face as one could expect for the expressionless general. 

“And you suspect his mental lapse has something to do with me.” Genesis stated, knowing full well he was being accused. Though, he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry since he truly had been the one to cause yesterday’s events. 

If the redhead had known his actions would cause Cloud to react in that manner, he probably wouldn’t have done it, but that didn’t change the fact that it was his fault. The blonde was a difficult person to understand, his mentality, above all else, having the biggest question mark over it. Genesis had always prided himself on reading people, and didn’t think he’d pushed the blonde TOO far, but apparently he was mistaken. This lapse in judgement might prove to make things more difficult for himself, but it seemed to have given Angeal a little nudge into gaining Cloud’s trust. This could easily be seen as a lose-lose-win situation. A loss on Genesis’s part, loss on Cloud’s part, but a win on Angeal’s. 

Pinching his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger, Genesis let out a deep sight, before crossing his fingers together in front of him. 

“It was probably my doing, yes.” He relented, earning a stressed look from Angeal. 

“Gen…” Sephiroth spoke in a tone that screamed ‘oh Genesis, what did you do this time?’

“It was not intentional… or perhaps it was, in a way. The action of gaining information from him through ulterior methods was intentional, but I was unaware it would have such an effect on him.” The redhead tried to explain, not wanting it to seem like he’d bullied Cloud for information. Then again, maybe he had done just that. 

“What exactly happened on your ‘walk,’” Angeal pressed, trying hard to keep a cool head until Genesis was finished explaining himself. He loved the man, but he knew how cruel the redhead could be if left unchecked. His mind flashed back to Cloud’s tear stained face, as he sobbed into Angeal’s shirt, and cried out that he couldn’t breath. 

Why was the raven getting so worked up over this though? Yes, it was a pitiful sight, but Cloud wasn’t his, and Genesis IS. Why was he getting so angry with his lover, when he didn’t even know how innocent Cloud was in this either. 

“I used the distraction of a fight to get him to run on emotion rather than logic. I teased him, insulted his teacher, and essentially manipulated his emotions so I could use his lapse in judgement to squeeze out information.” Genesis replied in a matter-of-fact voice, not sugar coating in the least. The act of diverting guilt was unbecoming, and not something a man like him would ever do. However, he wasn’t going to hide Cloud’s guilt either. If Angeal wanted the whole story, he was going to get just that. “In turn, I had my ass handed to me by Cloud, along with a death threat if I ever talked down about his teacher again. From what little I was able to gather though, he was assuredly the student of a first class SOLDIER, who worked here at Shinra. Cloud himself said he used to be infantry, but I’m not sure of the validity of that seeing as how there is not a single record, or burnt file on ‘Infantryman Cloud Strife,’” Genesis finished, never once looking up at Angeal. 

“He threatened you?” Sephiroth growled, standing up from the couch like his redheaded lover needed to be protected. 

“He wouldn’t have done it if I hadn’t basically threatened his life first. Besides, anyone can see Cloud doesn’t have the heart to kill an innocent man. His threat was little more than anger-driven word spewage from the lips of a kitten.” Genesis waved it off, even though he had no doubt Cloud could give him a run for his money in a real life-or-death battle. 

“Be that as it may, Genesis, it was extremely irresponsible of you to antagonize an opponent, of whom you have little to know knowledge about.” Sephiroth was all but pleading with his lover to listen to his chastising words. One of the silver-haired man’s biggest fears, was that Genesis would bite off more than he could chew one day. 

“But I got more information than you, didn’t I?” That sentence from Genesis shut the General up, giving the redhead a chance to continue. “With this, we can start going through all first class SOLDIER files, and find one whose fighting style matches up the best with Cloud’s. There are cameras in the training facilities, so all you need to do is take the footage of Cloud, and run it through an analytic database. It will calculate all on-record first class movements in combat, and single in on the one who Cloud most represents. Face it, Seph, I’ve gained more information on his past in the past two fights, than all of you have gotten since he’s been here.” Genesis explained the fruits of his labor with pride, knowing that, thanks to him and his small sacrifice, they were closing in faster on Cloud’s secrets. 

“Genesis, I don’t think you understand what could have happened though, and I don’t think you understand what your actions did to Cloud.” Angeal pressed, his face rather stern in comparison to his usually kind eyes. 

This was the exact look he gave Zack when he was chastising the little puppy, and Genesis didn’t like it. He was Angeal’s childhood friend, and longest standing lover -- not some student chasing his coattail. The real question here shouldn't be about Genesis’s actions, but rather -- 

“Why does it matter so much to you what happens to the little minx, Ang? Tell me, what are your true intentions with him? Because it’s starting to seem less like you’re doing this for Shinra’s sake, and more like an infatuation.” Genesis accused, venom in his voice. 

Angeal looked taken aback, as did Sephiroth, however, the silver-haired man seemed keen on hearing Angeal’s response. Genesis simply crossed his arms over his chest, and leaned back against the back of the barstool. He waited for his lover’s response, knowing full well what Angeal looked like when he was lovesick. He’d seen it first with Zack, and now it was like history was repeating itself with Cloud. 

“I do not have an… infatuation with Cloud. Forgive me for not being so cruel as to watch him break down in front of me and not do anything about it. He was an absolute MESS, Genesis, but that’s just what I do isn’t it? I clean up after your messes.” Angeal spat bag, words laced with fire like a pinpointed spear. 

“Oh? MY messes? Let us not forget who cleaned up your mess when you got involved with Zack the first time, and then decided to toss him to the side because you were afraid. Where was that honor you so cling to then, Angeal? Is it honorable to fuck someone who trusts you, and then run away with your tail between your legs? So, I really want to know, how long until you get Cloud to trust you, and then stick your dick up his ass?” Genesis stood up from his seat, his chest puffing with anger at his lover. 

A hurt look flashed through Angeal’s eyes, letting Genesis know he’d gone too far, but through his anger, he held back the urge to apologize. 

“That’s not fair, and you know it. Who was it that fucked Zack first, me, or you? At least I know how to stop myself from being an insatiable sex fiend.” Angeal countered, though he began to lose his power when his voice cracked at Zack’s name. 

They all loved the black-haired ball of energy as much as they loved each other. Even though there was a lot of conflict surrounding them and Zack in the past, they would never blame their own stupidity on the youngest SOLDIER. They did not regret pulling their little puppy into the group, they merely regretted the manner in which they did so. 

These fights, and secrets. It reminded them so strongly of back then, and made the three men present weary, and on edge. 

“Sex fiend, huh? Well, I’ll take that over coward any day.” Genesis finished, ripping his bottle off of the counter, and making his way to Sephiroth’s room. 

The slamming of a door had Angeal flinching, his heart aching as it begged him to go comfort his suffering lover. Instead, he sat down on the seat Genesis had just vacated, hands running over his face in frustration. The raven suppressed the urge to jump with arms, only the slightest bit more muscular than his own, stretched over his torso from behind. The backwards hug was welcome to Angeal, who leaned back into Sephiroth’s naked chest. Long, silver hair tickled his neck, making him shiver a little into the embrace. 

“How things began with Zack was not the fault of one, but the fault of all of us. I myself was no more innocent than you and Gen were. Don’t beat yourself up too much over words born from anger.” Sephiroth began, giving Angeal advice where the raven would normally be giving it himself. “Though, I do feel the need to ask you to be honest with me, so we can prevent such things from happening again in the future. Do you have any feelings for Cloud, any at all, that evolve beyond being platonic?” The general asked, tightening his hold on his lover so as to seem reassuring. 

If Angeal really did have feelings for the blonde, it would assuredly be problematic, but nothing that couldn’t be solved by distancing the two. Sephiroth didn’t want to see any of his lovers getting hurt if it turned out Cloud was not who they thought he was. He believed the blonde to be good natured, and kind-hearted, but who knows what he had been involved in before coming to them. Whether the blonde had been willing or not, his involvement in potentially dangerous areas could reflect on all of them if they weren’t careful. 

“I--” Angeal stopped himself, and thought about what he should say. He knew what Sephiroth was thinking, because he knew the way the general’s mind worked. Cloud did not have the silver-haired man’s full trust yet, and although he wanted to help the blonde, he would not take lightly to one of them becoming involved with him. If Angeal said he cared for him -- even if it was only a mute suspicion on Angeal’s part that he was developing feelings for Cloud -- Sephiroth would act accordingly to keep them apart. Angeal and Zack were the only two people Cloud trusted right now, even if only the slightest bit. If Sephiroth forced Angeal to step aside, the blonde would likely be confused, and potentially feel betrayed. It was a difficult situation, but he knew what he had to say. “No, I don’t feel anything at all for Cloud. I want to help him, nothing more.” Angeal finally replied, making sure his voice was as even, and unrevealing as possible. 

Sephiroth nodded his understanding, -- deciding not to press the issue further -- but after so many years, of course he knew when one of his lover’s lied to him. 

\-----------------------

“Cloudy--” Zack sang, drawing out the ‘y’ at the end of one of many nicknames he’d given the blonde. 

“Zack,” the blonde replied emotionlessly, sounding rather depressing in comparison to the black-haired man’s boisterous greeting. 

Cloud laid on the bed much as he had when he first arrived here, and Angeal would come to visit him. His back was turned to Zack, as he stared at the wall ahead, and picked at a loose string in his pillow. 

He was confused. 

Not because of his breakdown the previous night, because he’d been expecting that as soon as he left the training room. Not because Angeal had tried to comfort him, because that was just in the raven’s nature. He wasn’t even confused about accepting the comforting gestures, because he had really, really needed them. 

What had Cloud confused, was how much he had actually liked waking up laying against the older male. He remembered how good it felt being pressed firmly on top of Angeal, so that their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces. He remembered the smell that the raven gave off, which had him both longing to press his nose into a clothed chest, and wanting to pull away. 

Normally, waking up in a predicament like that would have had him lashing out, or at least separating himself immediately. But it had taken him so long to realize it was wrong for him to be doing what he was doing. It wasn’t until Angeal groaned that Cloud was brought back to reality, and felt he had no other option but to run away from his shame. 

What was WRONG with him?

Zack, he could understand. Zack was the man who he’d spent many of the best, and worst years of his life with. Even if this Zack wasn't exactly the same, and didn’t share those memories, his personality and kindness was still just as Cloud remembered it. 

But Angeal? Cloud hadn’t even met the man until recently, and already he was fooling himself into believing he could trust the raven. Then again, why couldn’t he trust Angeal? He’d never done anything but be supportive of Cloud -- exempting the blonde’s first day here, when Angeal had upped his drug dosage to get him to sleep. Even that could be seen as an act of mercy though, for Cloud’s panic had been tearing him apart, much like it had last night. It seemed that Angeal was always there when Cloud was at his worst, giving him the comfort he so seeked. The blonde was so used to dealing with his problems and panic attacks by himself, that maybe parts of him were beginning to latch on to Zack and Angeal. 

If that was the case, then Cloud was in a world of trouble, because there was no place for him here. No one would want to have any affiliation with the mentally tormented blonde. Even those he knew seemed to avoid him on some of his worst days. But instead of avoiding Cloud when he was at his worst, Angeal and Zack seemed adamant about diving in head first to try and console him. It didn’t make any sense. None of this did. 

“Hello? Gaia to Cloud Strife.” 

A hand was waved in front of Cloud’s face, causing him to jump when he took in Zack’s distinct smell, and body heat as the taller male leaned over his sprawled form. 

“What?” Cloud bit out, rather annoyed, before pushing Zack out of his space. 

If he wanted to counter these recent effects, then he needed to keep himself as far away from Angeal and Zack as humanly possible. 

For a moment, a look of hurt flashed through the black-haired man’s eyes, making Cloud force away the urge to reach out to his best friend. Instead, he opted for giving the man an excuse. 

“You startled me” Cloud supplied, his voice a bit weak and raspy. 

Zack smiled down at him now from a safe distance, waving a hand at the blonde in a dismissing manner. 

“It’s fine, I shouldn’t have snuck up on you like that,” Zack countered, looking a bit awkward from the new distance. 

The black-haired man was so used to being close with the people whom he spoke with. Even with his friends, he couldn’t go a single conversation without physical contact. Zack craved the comfort, and companionship hat touch allowed, and he kept forgetting he couldn’t always have that with Cloud. 

“Anyways, Angeal’s gone to Junon for a couple of days, and I really cannot cook for you unless you wanna be poisoned. So I figured we could head down the the mess hall for dinner tonight.” The older man joked, a light chuckle in his voice, and a smile ever present on his face. 

“I’m not hungry, you can go on without me tonight.” Was Cloud’s swift, but honest reply.

Truthfully, the blonde wasn’t hungry most nights. He’d gotten used to a schedule with Angeal, but that quickly retreated when his eating habits became stagerous once more. Back when he was running his delivery survive, Cloud had never really had much time for meals. He’d snack here and there, but nothing too serious. Besides, if he ever wanted to escape this place, he couldn’t spend all day eating, without a proper training schedule to keep his muscles toned. 

“Wha--? Cloud, you need to eat. Seph says you're too skinny, and I agree with him. I’m not going to let you sit in here and waste away.” Zack chastised, concerned about Cloud’s physical health now, and not just his mental health. 

“I don’t give a damn what Sephiroth thinks.” Cloud spat, his eyes practically boring holes in the wall he faced. 

A moment of silence fell between the two, and a key factor in Cloud’s denial dawned upon Zack. If Cloud wanted to be hard-headed, and make him into the nagging mom, then the black-haired man would show the blonde all of the attitude that made up the man known as Zack Fair. 

“Oh, so you don’t care what Seph thinks, but you DO care what I think?” Zack exploited Cloud’s own words, or rather, lack thereof. The older male had not missed how his spike had completely avoided the part where Zack agreed with Sephiroth. 

Cloud’s body stiffened on the bed, his head turning a little in the direction of Zack, but never fully allowing the man to see his pale features. 

“I never said that,” Cloud countered, his voice sounding very tired. 

“You never denied it either,” Zack countered right back. It was as if the two were playing a game of tennis, and the ball was now back in Cloud’s court. 

Finally sitting up, Cloud fully faced Zack now, his face hard, and jaw set. 

“So what? What if I do care?” Cloud challenged, his words accomplishing their intended goal of catching the SOLDIER off guard. 

Now THIS was interesting. Was Cloud acknowledging that he really did care what Zack thought, or was he just trying to rile the black-haired man up? It was a hard call to make, and one that could mean the difference in who won this little battle of wills. 

“If you DO care, Cloudy, then you’ll get off your lazy, skinny little ass, and come with me to dinner. Don’t worry me anymore than you already do.” Zack gave the perfect puppy eyes, the ones where it didn’t look like he was trying too hard, but still invoked sadness in the one on the receiving end. 

A classic guilt trip, one which he hoped would do the trick, and pull out whatever stick Cloud had shoved up his ass. The blonde was being particularly elusive today, and Zack did not appreciate it one bit. 

Zack nearly fist pumped in the air when Cloud let out a defeated sigh, and stood up lazily from the bed. He grabbed a sweatshirt off the nightstand across the way, before breezing past the black-haired man, who was all but having a mini celebration. 

“I want crackers” Cloud grumbled like a kid who was told they had to eat their vegetables, before making his way to the front door. 

Of course, after you eat some real food.” Zack laughed, exiting Cloud’s room to join the blonde at the entrance to the house. He ruffled blonde spikes out of instinct, getting that adorable, doe-eyed response from a shocked Cloud. And, although surprised, there was something very important to be noted about that small interaction. 

Cloud didn’t flinch, glare, or pull away even once.


	11. Tortured Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack and Cloud head to the mess hall for a meal, where Zack begins to exercise a little control over Cloud's well-being. Angeal makes it to Junon, where everything only goes downhill from the moment he arrives. Cloud writes in his new notebook, many of his true thoughts and feelings finally able to come out. Genesis and Sephiroth have a conversation about Angeal's growing fondness of Cloud, and a big secret of Cloud's is revealed to Sephiroth. Genesis goes to have a normal conversation with Cloud, that doesn't involve fighting, but finds a rather disturbing sight upon his arrival.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, this chapter is a biggie. My fingers were flyinggg, though it took a while to structure things properly. SO much angst, and so much heart bleeding for Cloud. I'm the one writing this story, and even my heart is breaking for him. Things are beginning to grow a little more intense, as the SOLDIERs feelings grow for Cloud, and more secrets start to come out. I will reply to all of your amazing comments as soon as possible, and I appreciate every single one! Thank you guys so much! I highly recommend reading the song for this chapter, as it was actually one of the influencers for this story. It's called tortured soul by Chord Overstreet, and it is very beautiful, if not a bit sad when compared to the story. 
> 
> **WARNING: not much to warn about in this chapter, but here we go. Controlling behavior (Zack exercises a bit of his control over Cloud), feels, lots of feels (particularly at the end with Cloud and Gen, and when Cloud writes in his journal), erm, yah, I think thats it. ^^ ** 
> 
> I have presented you guys with a challenge at the end of this chapter, so stay tuned!

I toss and turn most every night

Insomnia is hard enough to fight

Whiskey taste is on my breath

Part of me is scared to death

What if I told you the truth

But I chase you down with not any proof

One more sip for a tortured soul

Your digging my heart in deeper hole

And a thousand thoughts going through my mind

Cigarettes keep it occupied

Damn babydoll's got so much light

But damn babydoll's got so much fight

Your cold sometimes with a lot of bite

Just one smile keeps me satisfied

One more sip for a tortured soul

\--------------------------------------------

Cloud kept his pace steady at Zack’s side, making sure to imprint the journey from the black-haired man's apartment, to the mess hall in his memory. Four floors down, with plenty of dead, adjacent hallways, and well placed shadows. If he managed to avoid the crowd which congregated around the mess hall, this could be a potential escape route. The blonde saved that thought in the back of his mind, deciding he’d sit down later and start rebuilding a map.

“Other than crackers, what else do you like eating?” Zack’s question was practically yelled over the many voices of SOLDIERs, and Shinra employees swirling around them. 

It successfully pulled Cloud out of his thoughts, much to the younger man’s displeasure. He was now painfully aware of how dense this crowd of people was, and the blonde really hated crowds. On delivery runs, he would sooner extend the length of his trip so he wouldn’t have to go through any densely populated areas. It always made him alert, and on edge, as his senses would become hyper-aware of all the loud sounds, mesh of smells -- many not all too pleasant -- and probable threats. Cloud had half a mind to forego this expedition, seeing as he’d already gathered the information he needed, and at this point he was basically just torturing himself. 

‘Don’t worry me anymore than you already do,’ 

...Fuck. Why were Zack’s words always there at the back of his mind when he thought about chickening out of something. 

The black-haired man was dead set on dragging Cloud down here to eat, and if he backed out now, his friend would be even more upset. Inhaling deeply to calm his nerves, the blonde dug his fingernails into the healing wounds on his palms. The pain was a welcome distraction, which succeeded in pulling him out of his stressed stupor for a short period of time. He was careful where he pressed the nails deep enough that he felt the sharp sting, but not enough to draw out a large amount of blood. 

“I don’t really have a favorite food,” Cloud finally replied, trying to make his voice sound as level, and calm as he could manage. 

Zack clasped his hands behind his head and looked down at his little blonde contemplatively. 

“What?” the younger asked when he noticed the black-haired man starting at him. He shifted a little under the gaze, feeling uncomfortable, and mildly defensive from the scrutiny. 

“Do you have a favorite ANYTHING, Cloudy?” Zack stressed the ‘anything,’ as his eyes screamed ‘come on, give me something to work with.’

The two continued their walk to the line against the far wall of the mess hall. Cloud was actively trying his best to avoid so much as brushing shoulders with other people, making it look like he was dancing around the room. He got a few strange looks from a couple of SOLDIERs, and a turk, but most just ignored his evasive behavior. It was a huge relief when they were standing in the line, seeing as how most of the foot traffic was through the middle of the room. Now that he was able to focus less on his maneuvering, he turned his focus to Zack’s question. 

“I… have favorites,” Cloud hesitated in admitting, but he was still human, after all, so of course he would have his likes and dislikes. They were just few and far between, as the blonde tried to keep strong attachments, and aversions to a minimum. It allowed him to keep up his composure, and prevent people from seeing too much into his personal life. Besides, both attachments and aversions could be exploited for leverage. 

“But, you don’t wanna share them?” Zack quizzed light-heartedly, as he picked up a plate containing some sort of pasta dish. 

Cloud decided to copy him, not really sure of what tasted good or bad -- if worse came to worse, he’d just push the food around so it looked like he ate some of it. 

Letting out a strangled breath, that was easily drowned out by the loud chatter around them, Cloud’s lips parted slightly. He quickly corrected his momentary lapse of facial composure, and bit down hard on his bottom lip. Gnawing on the plump bit of flesh was a welcomed distraction, as he thought about how much he really wanted to give away. But this was Zack, he would never exploit Cloud, right?

“I’ll share them if you really want to know.” The blonde finally relented, feeling as though Zack was a safe person to talk to -- as safe as he was going to get at Shinra anyway. 

“Something you should know about me, Cloud Strife, is I am a very nosy person. Of course I wanna know what will cheer you up when you’re being all grouchy.” Zack’s words were spoken light-heartedly, with the airs of a chuckle beneath them. However, they had a very big impact on Cloud himself. 

The SOLDIER wanted this information about the younger man, not so he could exploit him, but so he could use it to make Cloud feel better. That was a revelation in itself, and it had Cloud biting down even harder on the lip trapped between his teeth. 

The black-haired man glanced down at Cloud worriedly, recognizing the obvious signs that the blonde was becoming stressed. Before Zack could even try to stop himself, he reached his unoccupied hand out to press his thumb down on the offended lip. 

“You should stop doing that, eventually it’ll leave scars.” Zack chastised, his tone dropping a couple of octaves in gentle warning. 

Out of shock, or automatic compliance with the man who had once taught him everything he knew, Cloud instantly released the stinging flesh. His eyes remained impassive, though a sudden flame had ignited itself in his stomach, making him feel nauseous. This sickness wasn’t the same as the one brought on by unwelcome displays of physical affection, though. This sickness was very similar to the ones brought by nerves, like one would feel on their first day at a new job. It was a kind of nervousness that was blended, almost unrecognizably, with excitement. 

Zack’s eyes moved over the skin that was now reddened, and speckled with small drops of blood. A ‘tsk’ left his mouth, as he used the pad of his thumb to wipe the crimson fluid away.

“Why are you so hell bent on mutilating yourself, Spike?” There was a hint of desperation in Zack’s tone, making him almost sound saddened. 

But why would Zack let himself hurt for someone like Cloud? After all, it had been that very flaw which had led to the black-haired man’s death, in the place from Cloud’s memories. 

“I feel like I can’t take my eyes off of you, I have half a mind to just drag you with me everywhere I go.” The SOLDIER mumbled under his breath, more to himself than the blonde. 

After Zack affirmed that no more blood was leaking from the swollen lip, he hummed his approval, and grabbed Cloud by slim shoulders. 

The younger man became dizzy when his friend spun him around so he was facing forwards in line. This allowed the blonde to see how far behind they had fallen, causing him to nearly stumble over his feet in an attempt to catch up. Along the way, Cloud hadn’t even realized the actions of the black-haired man behind him. It wasn’t until he got to the register, that he noticed the entire trip down the line had seen Zack placing items on his tray. A few such items being: a bottle of the very juice he had all but stolen from Zack’s fridge the morning after their movie night, a rather large chocolate chip cookie, and yes, a bag of his favorite crackers. 

Cloud did glare then, now sure that Zack was trying to make him fat -- perhaps a new tactic of preventing him from being able to escape. 

“I’m paying, so I get to choose what you eat, and I expect you to eat it all. Even if you have to bring some of it back to the apartment.” Zack didn’t even so much as look at the blonde as he handed over his Shinra-issued credit card, and smiled warmly at the cashier. 

The woman behind the register was rather petite, with wavy, brown hair, and big, honey-brown eyes. She ducked her head in a slight blush at the attention from the SOLDIER, who was little more than his normal, bubbly and charming self. After their payment was processed, the woman smiled sweetly at them and said they were good to go. 

Cloud followed behind his friend begrudgingly, as Zack led them through the crowd to a nearly empty table in the back. 

“I don’t like sweets,” Cloud grumbled in annoyance, as he all but sneered at the cookie on his tray. It was almost as if he were trying to will the sugary treat to be lit on fire with his eyes alone. 

The black-haired man dropped his own tray next to Cloud’s, and plopped down in his chair. While situating himself, the blonde’s words seemed to finally dawn upon him. He cast a mock-hurt gaze in the younger man’s direction, placing his hand dramatically over his heart. 

“What kind of monster doesn’t like sweets? This is your prime, Cloudy, enjoy junk food while you can. Before you know it, you’ll be teetering down the hallway on stubby legs like Palmer.” Zack spoke comically, and walked two, chubby baby carrots across the edge of his tray as if they were legs. 

At first Cloud tried so hard -- so, very hard -- to keep his face impassive. But as he watched the black-haired man move the stubby carrots, the blonde began to feel his composure drop. A stupid look was plastered on Zack’s face, as his body took to mocking Palmer’s hobbling walk in his seated position. 

And that was when Cloud broke. He nearly choked on the juice he had been holding in his mouth, a bit of it dribbling in streams down his chin. A hand came up to wipe at the mess, as it also tried to hide something he didn’t want anyone else to see. 

Zack immediately looked concerned, his hands dropping the carrots, and reaching up to grab Cloud’s wrists, making sure his friend wasn’t dying on him. 

“Woah, don’t go choking--” Zack stopped, as shock overtook concern when Cloud’s hands were removed from his mouth. “Cloud, are you… laughing?” 

Cloud was turning red in the face with the force it took to hold back to laugh that was trying so desperately to escape. He couldn’t take it anymore, so he finally let the laughter explode out of him. It may not have been as loud, and obnoxious as Zack’s own laughs, but it WAS genuine laughter. His eyes burned with tears, his nose sniffling from the bit of his drink that came out the wrong tube. To anyone around, it might have even looked like he was sobbing, except for the large and bright smile that pressed painfully against his cheeks. 

Zack was shocked. No, he was absolutely dumb-struck. Not only because he realized this was the first time he’d seen Cloud laugh, but also because of how sweet it was. In comparison to most people’s laughter, Cloud’s was rather diluted, and almost endearing. Actually, one might even go as far as to call it a “masculine version of a giggle,” since there wasn’t much sound to be heard. The true beauty of it, however, lied in the way Cloud’s smile lit up his entire face. The blonde already had pale and delicate features; those which reflected vibrant colors of gold, cream, and sapphire blue. But when he laughed -- when his lips bore the upturn of a smile -- all of those features seemed to glow brighter than the effects of a candle being lit in a dark room. 

Unfortunately, just as soon as the laughter had rang out so vibrantly, it was gone. Cloud was now rubbing at his messy face with his napkin, a short sniffle, every once in a while, being the only reminder left of what had just transpired. The blonde now was adamant about avoiding Zack’s gaze completely, mortified by his own actions.

Sensing it was probably best to move on from the topic, as lingering would only make Cloud uncomfortable, Zack decided to delve into the conversation they never finished. 

“So, favorites” The black-haired man began, stuffing his mouth with pasta, and watching the blonde push his own around on the plate. If Cloud didn’t start eating soon then Zack might press the issue harder, but for now he’d let the younger man be. “I already know you have a strange love for rice crackers, and your favorite color is green -- not bright green, but grey or silvery green. What about--” Zack looked up as he chewed on a piece of tender meat in his mouth, the creamy pasta sauce dancing flavourful on his tongue. A thoughtful hum escaped closed lips, while he thought of something else to ask. “Oh, how about your favorite hobby ASIDE...” the SOLDIER put strong emphasis on the word aside, before continuing. “Aside from combat.” 

That was a difficult question for Cloud to answer, because what exactly did he like to do, that didn’t involve fighting? As a means of biding him more time, the blonde finally placed a bite of his own pasta in his mouth. He was pleasantly surprised over the fact that it was not only edible, but actually pretty good. The sauce itself was creamy, with a bit of an herbal freshness to it, and well seasoned. The meat had a hint of a bite to it, but still practically melted in his mouth after he chewed it a couple of times. It was a thick, and heavy dish, that served its purpose of allowing SOLDIERs to meet their caloric intake requirements. Cloud doubted he’d be able to finish it all without feeling sick, but for now, he was content with simply enjoying the flavors. 

“I guess, I used to enjoy keeping a journal.” The blonde relented, memories flashing back to the black, leather-bound book he always kept in his study. He had always used it to devise his strategies, compile his thoughts, and simply keep track of memories. Cloud would be lying if he said he didn’t have fears of one day waking up, and being back at square one without recollection of his own past. The journal was a reassurance to him, and the fact that he didn’t have it with him had, truthfully, been bothering him lately. 

“That seems very you, Cloudy,” Zack chuckled, before picking up his own drink -- some type of soda, similar to a cola. 

Cloud bristled defensively at whatever implication Zack was trying to make, allowing his fork to fall to his tray with a clatter. 

“What is that supposed to mean?” He asked, not even trying to hide the hostility in his tone. 

The black-haired man waved a hand at him while he finished taking a few more gulps of the sugary beverage. 

“Nothing, it just really seems to fit you. You strike me as the kind of guy who likes to take time to gather your thoughts. You’re much more passive than me -- I have zero patience for anything writing, or desk related. But I can see you taking the time to actually sit down, and set everything out in front of yourself.” Zack elaborated his mindset perfectly for Cloud, successfully settling the blonde down a fraction. 

However, the SOLDIER’s deduction skills were rather scary. For someone who seemed to hate compiling his thoughts, he was abnormally good at breaking down those of others. But Cloud remembered this side of Zack, which always seemed to know exactly what the blonde needed, or tried to convey. There was no filter between the older man’s mind and mouth, he was honest, and pure in his words. So one could guess Zack’s way of breaking down his own thoughts, was through sharing them with others. On the opposite end was Cloud, who was much better at putting his thoughts to paper, rather than sharing them out loud. 

“Maybe we can run by the convenience store after dinner and see about finding you a journal. I don’t think they’re too exp--” 

Cloud drowned out Zack’s words when he caught sight of a shock of brilliantly red hair across the room. His eyes zoned in on the familiar face, which caused his heart to thump loudly in his chest. How long had it been since he’d seen the turk, or spoken with him? Sure, he’d never been too close to the man, but it was the first face from his past that he recognized, and which he hadn’t witnessed die in front of him. 

Realizing who Cloud was staring at, Zack took note of the expression of familiarity on the blonde’s face. 

“You know Reno?” the black-haired man quizzed, not sure how, or when Cloud could have met the turk. 

Tearing his gaze away from the redhead, the blonde shook his head quickly to try and stave off Zack’s suspicions. As much as Cloud wanted nothing more than to run across the room, and speak with Reno, he knew it wouldn’t bode well for the secrets he held close. Besides, he doubted the man would even recognize him, and this Reno was still a lapdog of Shinra. His whole job was about seeking information, so it was best for Cloud to stay under his radar. 

Zack didn’t miss the flash of worry that presented itself on his friend’s face, and he decided he should talk to Reno later. Maybe the redhead would recognize Cloud too, and offer up some new entail on the blonde. For now, he’d focus on getting the younger man next to him to eat. 

Zack slowed his movements when his sudden reach over Cloud caused the younger man to jolt in his seat. He mumbled a brief apology, before grabbing the blonde’s fork, and using it to scoop up some of the pasta. Cloud stayed still, watching with renewed curiosity as his friend mixed up the food, which had begun to cool. That curiosity turned to frustration in the blink of an eye, when the fork was pressing up against shut lips. 

“Eat, Cloud” Zack’s voice held a hint of commanding in it, as if Cloud was once again his little trainee. 

It almost made the younger male relent, if not for the feeling of indignation the gesture brought him. Stubborn as ever, the blonde kept his lips sealed, glaring at the black-haired man as he pressed them tighter together. 

“If you aren’t going to eat on your own, then I’m going to make sure you do myself. We can sit here however long it takes.” Zack’s voice was level with determination, while he pressed the sticky, sauce-covered pasta harder to Cloud’s lips. 

The blonde would be damned if he not only relented to the command, but allowed Zack to feed him like a child as well. Choosing the lesser of two evils, he lifted his own hand up to try and grab the handle of the utensil. Zack jerked his own hand away, carrying the fork with him, much to Cloud’s aggravation. 

A niggling in the back of the black-haired man’s mind warned him he might be going too far. After all, Cloud had only recently begun to welcome his touch, and even that was still standing on shaky ground. However, there was a lesson he felt needed to be taught to his spike today -- for all the blonde’s stubbornness, Zack could be even moreso. Additionally, Cloud needed to learn that if he didn’t properly take care of himself, then someone else would do it for him. 

“I’m not--” Blonde brows shot up when the SOLDIER used the slight opening of lips to slip the fork inside. For a second, Cloud sputtered on the food, as short, choked sounds escaped his throat. 

“I’m sorry, Cloudy, you’re not what?” Zack teased in a faux-innocent voice, before setting the fork back down on Cloud’s plate. 

Even through the harsh glare the SOLDIER received from his actions, he took comfort in watching Cloud grab the fork up in his own hands. The blonde muttered unintelligible words under his breath -- probably curses at a certain puppy -- but began feeding himself nonetheless. 

‘Lesson learned,’ Zack thought to himself approvingly. He was slowly figuring out the language, and gestures that made up Cloud. And each step he took closer to the younger male was a step closer to the trust he so desperately wanted to gain. 

A small smile made its way onto the black-haired man’s face, which he quickly hid behind another bite of his own food. 

\-------------------------

The helicopter whirred loudly as it moved over never ending plains of desert sand, and sturdy rock formations. One would think the breeze brought by soaring through the air would be cool, and refreshing, but it was exactly the opposite. The wind that bit and nipped at Angeal’s face was hot, coarse, and dry. The occasional bit of sand would travel all the way from the ground, up through the air, and cause an uncomfortable scratching sensation on smooth skin. 

To say the raven was more than pleased when he saw his destination coming up was an understatement. He had no real qualms with flying, as it did get him where he needed to go quickly, but he preferred keeping his boots on the ground. 

Junon was once a beautiful destination, full of life, and a well maintained economy fueled by a successful fishing industry. In comparison to the past, the city was hardly even recognizable anymore. Shinra's military had long since moved in, all under the command of Vice President Rufus Shinra -- who took up Junon as his main base of operations. 

Everywhere one looked, they could see the results that came with urbanization. Smog covered the skies in a thick blanket, though not nearly as devastating as the plumes that shrouded Midgar. The air was heavy with the smell of Mako seeping from the underwater reactor -- Sickeningly sweet, and nauseating like the stench of petrol. 

Metal tainted the landscape now, covering up any remnants of what used to be fishing ports, beach vegetation, and well crafted docks. A few boats could be seen washed up on the shores in the distance, many lying on their sides, but all abandoned. From bow to stern, the vessels were covered in green algae, mold, and dirt, furthering the obviousness of their poor condition. 

Angeal could honestly overlook all of this, but the saddest, and most haunting part of Junon, was the conditions of its waters. Where the magnificent city had once met a beautiful, translucent, blue ocean full of all varieties of life, it now met a tarry sea of slop. The liquid, which lapped at the iron-constructed shore, was now a sickly, tealy-grey. Hints of blue remained, mixing with the black sludge of pollution, before being tinted with bits of green from the mako. It made this new, grotesque color, which reminded the raven heavily of mucus from someone who was deathly ill. Every once in a while, a patch of muck, or a dead fish would float by on the water’s surface, making his stomach twist uncomfortably. 

And in the center of it all, stood the massive, brass-colored structure of the mako cannon -- his very reason for being there. The machine was long, with a narrow, cylindrical barrel that could be pointed in any direction the enemy may march forth from. Its body was built sturdily into the base of the small Shinra building, and rested overtop of the underwater reactor. It was surely a marvel to behold, but one had to ask themselves -- at what cost?” 

Currently, the barrel of the cannon was pointed downwards, without any signs of movement, nor mechanical whirs of power. 

“Rufus shut it down?” Angeal asked the pilot of the helicopter -- a longhaired turk named, Tseng -- his voice full of disbelief. 

“No sir, it just went down on its own about an hour ago.” The turk informed him, his eyes never leaving the helicopter pad, which finally came into sight. 

Angeal hummed his acknowledgement, trying to hide the concern in his voice. A weapon like this didn’t just shut down. Even if it was in rest mode, and not armed and ready, the inner mechanisms of the machine were always hard at work. For it to simply shut itself down would mean the problems ran deeper, more than likely all the way into the reactor below the surface of the water. 

‘Could this be the terrorists doing?’ he thought to himself, before shaking his head. ‘No, they haven’t attacked any other Shinra territories outside of Midgar. It would be impossible for the group to make it all the way to Junon, and bypass every level of security between the two locations. This is something else.’ He concluded. 

“Rufus must be in a great mood right now,” the raven chuckled sarcastically, not missing the way Tseng tensed at the words. He had no doubt the blonde heir was throwing a tantrum in his office, demanding answers from his underlings. Angeal could already imagine the mess of thrown and broken objects he would see once he walked inside. 

“Mr. Vice President is rather upset,” was the turk’s stiff reply, and it was all Angeal needed to have his suspicions proven true. 

Angeal’s body bounced a bit with the force of the helicopter being stopped short by its landing. He felt a sense of relief fill him when he jumped out, and his combat boots connected with the heated asphalt of the landing pad. He inhaled deeply, living to regret that decision as the wet, mildewy scent of water rot, and mako filled his sinuses.

Scrunching his nose, Angeal began making his way towards where he heard shouting voices in the distance. One, he recognized almost instantly, belonging to Rufus. At least Angeal would be saved from going all the way up to the man’s office. 

“I don’t care what’s possible and what isn’t, is it not already impossible enough for it to just shut down completely!?” 

As Angeal rounded a rusty piped corner, the image of the Shinra heir came into view. His domineering presence towered over a young engineer, who held a clipboard close to his chest like it was a shield. The poor boy appeared as though he would break down into tears at any minute, his eyes a little glassier than they ought to be. His hair was a brown, moppy mess on top of his head, while his eyes bore the evidence of exhaustion in the form of dark circles. 

“S-sir, I can assure you we are doing everything we can at the moment, but there are a lot of components to the Sister Ray. It takes time to go through them all, and single out where the problem is.” The young man, probably an intern of sorts, stuttered out in a weak, trembling voice. 

“You have been given ONE task. Is it really so hard that I ask you to just do your jobs?” Rufus chastised, though he finally seemed to relent from his own fatigue -- his voice growing softer from simple annoyance. 

Much like the man’s father, Rufus was very adept in the art of changing faces. He could go from monstrous, angry outbursts, to the regal composure one would expect the son of a successful businessman to keep -- all in a matter of a few seconds. 

“Rufus” Angeal called the man’s name without any emotion at all, bringing attention to his presence. 

As the blonde finished running fingers through his well-kept hair, he looked up to regard the Raven. 

“Finally, someone who knows what they’re doing,” the heir breathed out with relief, before walking over to meet Angeal halfway. 

Angeal held his hands up guiltily, eyebrows raising up humorously.

“Woah, I don’t know about that, I’m not an engineer. I wasn’t even informed the Sister Ray was down until about five minutes ago.” Angeal defended, hoping Rufus didn’t get his hopes too high over the prospect of him fixing the machine. 

“I would rather have one of your mind than ten of theirs,” the blonde spat, tossing a glare over his shoulder at the intern, who was quick to scurry away. 

“Tseng informed me that it shut down about an hour ago, any guesses as to why?” The raven quizzed, staring up at the gargantuan structure of the mako cannon. 

“I was hoping to ask you that question,” Rufus countered, meeting Angeal’s gaze in a look that said ‘please help me out here.’

Angeal walked up to the weapon’s base, running gloved fingers over the smooth metal of the surface. He noted it was rather cold, where it would normally be heated from the presence of mako flowing through it. 

“Have you checked the flow of mako in the reactor yet? It feels almost as if someone flipped a switch and blocked it all out.” Angeal mused, not feeling even the slightest hint of the glowing, green substance whatsoever. 

“That’s impossible, even when the cannon is shut down for routine maintenance, the mako inside it would remain. It prevents long heat up intervals, by entrapping whatever was inside at the time of reboot.” Rufus waved off Angeal’s thought, without even so much as feeling the device for himself. Then again, only a SOLDIER would be able to feel that there truly was no mako inside. 

“You’ve been throwing the word ‘impossible’ around a lot Mr. Vice President. Doing that could make you blind to the answer, and therefore, the solution to your problem.” Angeal lectured, moving around to look at the one and only manual panel at the very back of the weapon. 

The screen of the control console lit up when it detected the motions of someone standing over it. A quiet, feminine voice offered its welcome, before a beeping noise signified it had scanned his facial features. 

The screen exploded into a long list of buttons, and details about the Sister Ray’s inner mechanics. Angeal grunted approvingly when he managed to find the tab labeled ‘mako fuel: feed and storage.’ A little pinging toon echoed off the metal contraptions around him when he clicked the button. 

“Mako feed -- insufficient. Mako storage level at - zero point zero zero percent. Pending reboot -- delayed.” The female voice of the cannon read the information to him, as the screen loaded specifics, and demographics. The last person to access the mako storage facilities of the Sister Ray was Scarlet, and that was nearly a month ago for the maintenance. This meant nobody had tampered with the flow of the mako themselves. Therefore, the problem must be with the reactor that fueled the weapon, rather than the weapon itself. 

“There isn’t enough mako being fed to the Sister Ray for it to stay operational, so it’s shut itself down.” Angeal explained to Rufus, as he made movements to access the section about the reactor.

“Junon reactor -- data access denied. Connection -- unstable. Failsafe protocols -- inoperable.” The screen spoke to the raven as he tried to get into the reactor’s data files. 

Angeal let out a frustrated grunt, and began typing faster on the screen to try and bypass the error messages. The soft, blue light of the control panel began glitching, and blinking, as static sounds erupted from the speakers. The female voice was soon drowned out, before the screen turned red. The only thing present in the ominous glow, was a triangular symbol with an exclamation mark in it. An alarm echoed out with the error for a few more seconds, until the screen finally gave out and shut down completely. 

“What the hell,” the SOLDIER spoke in a surprised huff under his breath, fingers still twitching over the dead controls. 

The silence only lasted for a moment longer -- a very eerie, confusing moment. Angeal fought the urge to cover his sensitive ears as a louder alarm blared from speakers all over Junon. The sirens were like those that warned of bad weather, changing pitch in a continuous rise and fall wail. 

“What’s going on!?” Rufus shouted over the sirens, his facial features twisting into those of concern, and disbelief. 

“I think--” Angeal didn’t get the chance to finish, as the same brown-haired intern from before came running around the corner, shouting. 

“Sir, the underwater reactor just shut down!!” He screamed at the top of his lungs in his panic, clearly not knowing what to do, and looking to his superior for direction. 

“This reactor has been operating for decades, how can it just shut down!?” Rufus turned his own questions to Angeal, putting all eyes on him.

The raven appeared composed on the outside, but even he didn’t have the answers to this problem. How could a suspected power surge turn into the complete failure of an entire reactor? The sirens, coupled with the millions of questions he had began to overwhelm Angeal. He pulled a knuckle up to his mouth, placing it gently between his teeth as he tried to clear his head enough to think. His heart thrummed in his chest, adrenaline coursing through his veins. 

“How do we fix this!?” Rufus shouted another question before Angeal even had a chance to think of an answer to the first. 

The stress of the situation, coupled with all of the outside stimulation seemed to cause his mind to draw a complete blank. He could no longer pull forth any reasonable explanations, or even formulate a hypothesis. For fucks sake, he wasn’t the goddamn engineer!

“I don’t know!” Angeal exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in a very uncharacteristic way for the SOLDIER.

Then, as if a switch had been flipped, all of the power in Junon went out. They were shrouded in the dark shadow of the small Shinra building, as the sun had already begun hanging low in the sky. The sirens turned off, and the only sounds they could now hear were the shouts and screams coming from the city itself. 

“I don’t know” Angeal repeated, this time barely above a whisper. 

This was way beyond him and his skillset. This was now the area of the heads of the engineering department, and Sephiroth. 

Rufus stood still in his shock, doing nothing but staring as Angeal flipped out his PHS. 

One ring

Then another

And one more, before a man finally picked up. 

“This is SOLDIER first class Angeal Hewley -- SOLDIER ID number 54129925. Myself and Vice President Rufus Shinra, are in need of immediate air lift from the Junon reactor base. Contact General Sephiroth, the head of engineering, and President Shinra. We need military support for the Junon residency districts forthwith.” Angeal breathed through his worries, his eyes adjusting to the rapidly increasing darkness around them. “We’ve lost communication with the underwater reactor -- all power throughout the city is suspended.” He reported, beeping greeting him on the other line, as whoever he spoke to in communications hung up to address the issue. 

As if on cue to the raven’s biggest worry, a shrill screech rang out in the air. Without lights, and the loudness of machinery -- as well as the increase in mass panic -- monsters and all manner of atrocious creatures were already making their way into the city. 

Angeal dropped his PHS back into his deep pocket, before reaching his hand back to the sword attached to its holster. He gripped the handle so tightly it burned, and prepared himself for the long fight ahead. 

\--------------------------

In the safety of his room, Cloud sat with his back leaning against the far wall. The only light in the space came from a small lamp on the black nightstand next to his bed. The glow was soft, and soothing to his eyes -- the constant ache behind them finally calming. 

His fingers moved over the packaging of the gift Zack had given him that evening. True to his word, the black-haired man had taken Cloud to a convenience store near the barracks, and bought him a notebook. 

The blonde began unwrapping the object, the brown paper taped around it crinkling loudly in the quiet room. The cover was soon revealed to Cloud, who ran his fingers over the hard, smooth surface. It wasn’t anything overly fancy -- a simple, black notebook, with a white flower imprinted into the cover. Though it may appear a bit feminine, the whole reason Cloud decided on this one was because it looked almost exactly like the one he had in Edge -- exactly like the one Aerith had given him. 

He traced the petals of the flowering longingly, wishing for nothing more than to hear the Cetra’s voice. Even if it was just to tease him like she always did. He opened up to the first page of the journal, freezing when he saw sloppy letters scrawled out. 

‘This book is now the private property of a grouchy blonde named Cloud Strife. Anyone dumb enough to look inside will be held accountable by SOLDIER first, Zack Fair.’ 

Cloud blinked down at the little message, the corners of his lips twitching up humorously. He wasn’t as surprised as he should have been, and had it been anyone else who left the message, he might have been. But this was Zack, and everything in those two sentences sounded just like him. 

A small niggling of guilt almost -- ALMOST -- made its way into the blonde’s head, when he thought of what he was about to fill the notebook with. It almost seemed he was about to sully his friend's gift with the plans of his future escape. However, he had little in the way of money and valuables, and hiding the strategy in a notebook was much better than leaving it on loose paper for the world to see. So Cloud did what he always had, and swallowed the emotions that threatened to rise up sickeningly in his throat. 

He jotted a few random things on the first several pages, hoping it would make it look like any other notebook. Over time, he found himself venting a little more into the pages than he wished, but he couldn’t help it. How long had it been since he was truly able to express his emotions in words? Too long, surely, if the way he scribbled out line after line of raw emotion was any indication. He found himself writing a letter home: a letter to Tifa, and the kids, and AVALANCHE. To his family. 

‘...They’re all strange. No matter how hard I try to understand each of them, they do something that calls me to question my knowledge. I wish you were here, Tifa. You’ve always been better at reading people, and dealing with them than me. It’s been nice getting to see Zack again, even if he isn’t really the Zack I remember -- though, in a way, he is. He still acts the same, and talks the same. Still has that stupid grin plastered on his stupid face all of the time…’ Cloud paused his writing as the black-haired man’s features flashed behind his eyes, before he continued with his honest feelings. 

‘But yah, even here -- wherever here is -- Zack is still Zack. He wears his emotions out in the open for all to see, so reading him isn’t so difficult. You would think that would mean he’s easy to predict, yet somehow he still manages to surprise me. If nothing else, it’s a small comfort to have my best friend back. Even if he’s unpredictable, something about just having him around puts me at ease from the familiarity. I feel like Marlene and Denzel would really like him, since he just seems the type to be good with kids. Actually, thinking back, Zack has always been everything I’m not. 

Outgoing, charming, strong, and happy. Maybe that’s why we get along so well, as you always say, opposites attract.’

Images of Zack playing with Marlene and Denzel drew forth in the back of his mind. He imagined the SOLDIER, little more than the puppy he was, falling to the ground in mock-death as the kids tackled him. The mental image was pure, and filled with a warm light, which forced a small smile on his face. 

‘Maybe it’s because I never really knew them before, but the others are harder to understand than Zack. I just don’t know what to do half the time Tif -- and part of me wishes I had your demanding personality, Barret. Maybe then, I’d have a little more courage in asking the questions I constantly bite back. I met Angeal my first day here, and, at first, I absolutely hated him. He had this sense of superiority about him, but he wore it well, in a way that was never demeaning. Maybe it was the extensions of kindness he made, as he tried to get me to talk to him. It was almost like every word out of his mouth was reassuring me I could say what I wanted, without any repercussions.’

Cloud pressed his lips tightly together in aggravation, the pen in his hand smoothing over his lower lip thoughtfully. He was trying to find the proper words to describe Angeal, but the man really was as much a mystery to him as this entire situation.

‘Of course, as I’m sure you know, Vince, trust is not something that should be dealt out lightly. But he’s so damn good at persuading things from you, whether it be thoughts, or emotions. Can you believe I had an entire ass breakdown in front of him, just from a few softly spoken words. He draws things from me like one does poison from a wound. Instead of hating him, over the time I’ve been here, I’ve grown to cast that hatred towards myself. Why is it I lose so much control with him, yet gain so much control with Zack? You’d be amazed at how similar they are, to the extent I’d even claim Angeal is just a more matured, and calm version of Zack. With Zack, I feel like I gain back control over my life, even enough to allow him to touch me. I feel at peace in my head often, and he’s painfully good at distracting me from the things I normally find uncomfortable. I actually laughed today… I had forgotten what that felt like.’

The memory of the warmth that filled his chest, and the tears of joy filling his eyes had Cloud’s fingers grasping the pen tighter. It had been so long since he’d felt that feeling -- and it was, as much as he hated to admit, amazing. 

‘Angeal is very different in the reactions he draws from me, but strangely, not in a bad way. Well, I suppose that depends on your definition of bad. I suppose you’d be giving me some long, drawn out moral story about how there is no good or bad right now, right Nanaki? But I truly can’t decide, within myself, whether or not I find his ability to bring forth the worst sides of me annoying, or freeing. I’d always thought true freedom could only come from the battlefield, and not from the words of another person. If anyone can prove me wrong on that notion, though, Angeal is definitely the guy. If it’s the battlefield I crave, however, Genesis is a good sparring partner. He has this smugness about him, which half the time I can’t decide whether I’m amused by, or if I simply want to beat it out of him. Sometimes, I think he’s a bit too much like Sephiroth, where I find I’ve lost myself, and all my reason over a simple battle. I can already see your scoffing face, Cid, telling me to stop complaining and get my ass in gear. I feel stuck in place with Genesis, though -- stuck in time. He peels me away, layer by layer, until I’m left exposed, and vulnerable. I told him so much the other day…”

The barest bubbling of panic settled into the blonde’s mind once more, as he thought of all the information Genesis was able to get out of him. It was all pretty words on the redheads part, sure, but those words were dangerous. 

‘Genesis IS dangerous. Unlike Angeal, who draws out my emotions, Genesis knows how to actually control them. That power is something I’ve only ever seen in Sephiroth, so perhaps why Genesis reminds me so much of him. He’s manipulative, but he’s also got this air about him, that is soothing, and bears no real intent to hurt me. That, in itself, must be what sets the two apart. Still, I don’t feel too good about seeing him again anytime too soon. Yuffie, is there such a thing as a materia that can make you disappear for awhile? If so, I could really use it right now. If disappearing is what it takes to get me away from Sephiroth, especially, it would be a blissful relief.’ 

The silver-haired man dug his way back into Cloud’s mind, the blonde squinting his eyes in something that was not completely a glare. It was more like a deep thought, or a pained realization. 

‘He doesn’t seem the same as the Sephiroth we know, but I can’t bring myself to trust him. When I’m so much as in the same room as him, every part of me screams to fight, or run away. When he does talk to me, it’s never too prying, but it’s strange. His words are like fire and ice on my skin. The fire from the desire I hold to trust him, as this Sephiroth is not the one from my memories. But the ice reminds me where that trust could leave me. The way he interacts with the others -- with his friends -- is so different from the demon I’ve killed so many times. His expressions of true humanity are startling on the best day, and equally as terrifying. I can’t bring myself to attack a man as easily as I can a demon, it seems. Even if that demon resides inside this man. Does all of this sound just as confusing to you, Tifa? Or is it just me being unable to grasp simple concepts like usual? Geez, I’ve rambled on for so long, and I wish it was this easy to talk to someone in real life. Why does putting words to paper flow so naturally from me, but speaking them out loud is like trying to get a sink to drain with the stopper still inside? Anyways, I’ll stop droning on. I hope you guys are safe, and happy, even in a world where I no longer live. I wonder if you are crying, or if you are relieved to be free of me…” 

Cloud blinked confusedly down at the paper in his lap, where the ink was now beginning to run in two different places. He wiped away at the circular, damp wrinkles in the paper, letting out a growl of frustration when the wetness kept returning. It took him a solid minute to realize that, rather than the paper, he should be wiping at his face. His face, where tears had managed to escape his notice, and roll gently down his smooth cheeks. Upon the new realization, he closed the notebook shut with a loud clap, and scrubbed profusely at his features. In his pained fury, he rubbed so aggressively at the flesh that he was sure his cheeks were red from the irritation. 

He couldn’t cry though, because Cloud Strife doesn’t cry. It was a luxury -- a weakness -- he couldn’t afford. 

Not anymore. 

\---------------------------

Genesis paced in Sephiroth’s room, unable to simply lie on the bed anymore with all of the thoughts going through his head. He couldn’t believe the nerve of Angeal, who acted as if he had any right to talk down about the redhead. Especially when the raven so clearly wore his feelings on his sleeve for the world to see. Okay, perhaps not the world. Angeal wasn’t Zack, who could be read with a single glance. But Genesis had gotten down reading the man, who had been his closest friend and first lover, to a science. The signs of the older SOLDIER’s growing infatuation was as clear as day to him. 

For Angeal to not only completely deny what was glaringly obvious, but to throw the redhead’s own faults back in his face, was low. Now Genesis was left wondering what to do, and how to rectify the situation, all while his anger at his lover burned like a fire in his veins. Cloud was too unpredictable, and quite frankly, they knew far too little about the blonde for comfort. 

Genesis wouldn’t deny that, sure, Cloud was cute -- far cuter than a man with his abilities should legally be. Everything from his features, to the delicate way he moved reminded the redhead of a graceful kitten. But when that sword came out -- when Cloud’s combative colors showed -- the blonde became more like a cougar. He was careful, sure, and deadly with his strikes. If Cloud was ever unsure of himself while fighting, he never showed it as obviously as he did when he was asked the simplest of questions. 

But a pretty face did not mean Cloud was safe. Was it so wrong for Genesis to want to protect his lover from being hurt, if it turned out the blonde was not who they thought he was? Genesis would watch over the younger man for as long as he was in their care, but if Cloud showed he was a threat, in any way, he would not hesitate to retaliate in kind. 

If Angeal had allowed himself to become enraptured by the little kitten, Genesis hoped he wouldn’t be left to pick up his broken lover in the end. 

Sephiroth looked up from his laptop, which laid on his outstretched legs in the bed. Genesis’s pacing was not only frustrating the general, but the inner turmoil of his lover was starting to have similar effects on Sephiroth himself. 

“Gen, would you please sit down, and just tell me what is going on in your head right now.” Sephiroth chastised with a low growl, in a way that was rather different from his usually calm demeanor. 

“Angeal likes Cloud,” he finally declared out loud, before plopping down on the end of the bed with an aggravated sigh. 

“I know” Sephiroth replied, his eyes moving back to the screen of his computer now that the redhead was seated. 

Genesis turned to look at the general with a gobsmacked look pressing against his features. 

“And you’re fine with this?” Genesis asked, throwing a hand up to gesture at Sephiroth, the action as exasperated as he felt. 

Sephiroth glanced up at him through thick, silver lashes, the slits of his pupils narrowing slightly more at his lover’s words. 

“I’m not fine with it so much as I am unsurprised by it,” Sephiroth concluded, his voice being followed by the sounds of his fingers typing over the computer keys. 

“Unsurprised? So what then, you like Cloud now as well?” Genesis’s eyes glared at the general disapprovingly, as he wondered if he was about to end up in another fight.

Sephiroth’s fingers paused their movements over the keyboard, his lips twitching downwards the slightest bit. This was the only thing that showed his disapproval at the redhead’s words, but it was enough to give Genesis the barest bit of relief. 

“I don’t dislike Cloud, but I do not harbor any romantic feelings for him, no. I’m unsurprised, because Cloud is exactly Angeal’s type, startlingly so, actually. Our raven, as intelligent as he may be, easily becomes blinded by wounded things. Take Zack, for example. There is a reason why Angeal took him under his wing, and was always there to help him through his panicked outbursts. Not to say Zack never showed potential, clearly he did to have made it to first, but Angeal’s motives did not stem from his ability in combat alone. Angeal looks at people like Cloud as a project, however pure his intentions may be. It’s not a bad trait to have, necessarily, it’s just not healthy for Angeal himself.” Sephiroth explained, almost seeming breathless after getting out so many words. 

Genesis was actually startled into momentary silence with how much his lover had said, and how much it all made so much sense. At the same time, he found himself becoming angry over the fact that Sephiroth knew this, yet he wasn’t doing anything about it. 

“So what then, we just let this all go like nothing is happening? Come on, Seph, you of all people cannot put so much blind faith in a person.” Genesis argued his side, unwilling to relent to the idea that any of this was a good idea. 

This time, Sephiroth had no tells as to what was going through his mind. His fingers remained at a steady pace in their typing, and his features were smooth and impassive. It wasn’t until he finished jotting down what he needed to on the screen, that he offered his reply. 

“At first, I was going to try to keep them apart until Angeal’s feelings faded away. However, the more I think about it, the more I think we should let it run its course.” The general was confident in his words, but they only made Genesis more angry. 

“Are you seriously implying we just let Angeal follow around blondy until we find them in bed together? No thanks.” Genesis’s voice wasn’t quite at a yell, but it was very indicative of his rising frustrations with the general. 

“You’re thinking with your anger, not your head, Gen. Do you honestly think Cloud, the same Cloud who hardly even allows someone within a foot of him, would allow Angeal to bed him? That’s hardly a concern.” There was a hint of teasing in Sephiroth’s voice, as he glanced up amusedly at the redhead, who still fumed where he sat. 

“Then you’re fine with Angeal getting hurt as a result?” Genesis threw another difficult question at his lover, trying his best to see how any of this could end well for anyone. 

“Of course I’m not fine with ANY of you hurting,” Sephiroth began, his voice hard, and revealing his lovers were the one weakness he held. “I’m sure we’ve already been through this, but I am relatively positive Cloud is not a bad person. Misguided, perhaps, but not inherently evil, or cruel. It is in his nature to protect, not to harm, which is another trait that I’m sure has caused Angeal to start gravitating closer to him. You know about how much Angeal believes in the valency of honor. If this is just a fleeting infatuation, it’ll pass soon without harm, and in the meantime Cloud may grow closer to Angeal as well. Over time, that same trust can lead to more answers for us.” Sephiroth concluded, his tone as sure as he clearly felt. 

“And if it isn’t a fleeting infatuation?” Genesis asked, his voice wavering a little at the implications his words held. 

Sephiroth did react then, his fingers not only freezing, but his brows also knitting together delicately. It seemed as if such thoughts were foreign to him, but now that he was thinking about it, he was trying to find a logical answer. 

After a moment of silence, he turned his entire focus on Angeal, his gaze softened. 

“You should have a proper conversation with Cloud -- one that doesn’t involve fighting. If what Angeal said was true, and you really did set off some sort of breakdown, it might do Cloud well to learn he doesn’t always have to be on guard in your presence. He’s not a bad kid, Gen, I know you at least know this much to be true. Don’t break what's already broken.” Sephiroth finished, showing he had no intention of answering Genesis’s previous question.

The redhead huffed indignantly, before he conceded and stood to go get dressed so he could seek out a certain blonde. The fact that Sephiroth seemed to come to a conclusion in his own mind, but wouldn’t share it annoyed him. It really did feel like how things had started with Zack, all beginning with the fights, secrets, and denials. What he hated above all else, however, was the secrets. And not just the ones Cloud kept locked inside, but the ones his lovers seemed keen on holding as well. 

The biggest secret he was unaware of, however, was the one Sephiroth currently stared at on his computer screen. The general had accessed the security footage of Genesis and Cloud’s fight, marveling for a moment at the blonde’s movements, before setting to work on the task at hand. He zeroed in the footage to focus on Cloud’s body alone, and then sent the markers through the Shinra database. It was Genesis’s idea, so by all rights he should be allowed to see these results, but Sephiroth wasn’t even sure he believed them himself. It simply wasn’t possible, right? 

But there, on the computer screen right before his eyes, three people he recognized all too well stared back at him. 

“Computed results, combat association by Shinra employment: 50% Zack Fair, 18% Angeal Hewley, 15% Sephiroth, 2% Genesis Rhapsodos, 15% unknown” He read the results out loud, completely unable to process the words that were so obvious in front of him. 

Cloud’s movements were a reflection of the general himself, and his three lovers. The lower percent of Genesis suggested Cloud’s skill level was enough that he was able to read his opponent’s style, and adjust his own a bit to counter. However, the other three made absolutely no sense, especially Zack. Sephiroth knew their puppy would never lie, and he had never met Cloud until recently, which made the whole thing even more confusing. The unknown aspect was probably the result of Cloud tweaking his style to match himself. The part that was Angeal was probably filtered down through Zack’s style. But Sephiroth? He had never once fought with the blonde, so how was it Cloud carried some of his combat markers? 

More and more questions always came with any of the answers they managed to receive, and Sephiroth was beginning to grow impatient. He would eventually confront Cloud himself, but in order to do that, he too had to try and gain the blonde’s trust. It seemed the only way to find the answers he seeked wasn’t in the computers and files, but through what the general was worst at. Building trust, and human connections. 

He wasn’t so cruel as to use Cloud’s trust for information -- something Zack had accused him of not too long ago. But Sephiroth would be lying if he said the way they all had to go about this didn’t concern him. Angeal’s fondness, and, as he’d recently noticed, Zack’s growing protectiveness, showed things could grow out of their control very quickly. Just how much would Cloud’s presence in their lives affect them? 

Was there any way to prepare themselves for when the truth finally came out?

\--------------------

Genesis barged into Zack’s apartment unceremoniously, barely even sparing the black-haired man a glance where he sat on the couch. The younger SOLDIER was used to this by now, ‘this’ being how the redhead often arrived unannounced. Zack did, however, attempt to rise up from his seat when he saw the direction Genesis was headed in. 

“Relax, puppy. I’m only going to have a conversation with your little pet.” Genesis halted Zack’s movements with a single, gloved hand. 

“Oh, like you did last time?” Zack all but growled, his urge to keep Cloud from further mental torment at the hands of his lover overpowering his, usually pleasant, demeanor. 

“Yes, yes. I’ve come to rectify the situation, rest assured, I don’t even have any intentions of leaving your apartment.” Genesis consoled, his tone going a little softer at the worry he saw in Zack’s eyes. 

Perhaps Angeal wasn’t the only one growing soft for the little blonde. 

That seemed to calm down Zack a fraction, his body moving back down to rest on the sofa. If Genesis and Cloud stayed here, he would at least be able to hear if anything was wrong. 

Sensing Zack’s change in demeanor, the redhead continued on his venture to the bedroom he knew held the person he was searching for. When he flung the door open, not caring to knock as he knew Cloud probably wouldn’t open it anyways, he was shocked into momentary silence. 

Instead of in the bed, Cloud was rested on the floor against the far wall, a notebook held firmly to his chest. Curled up, which knees pressing against a toned chest, the blonde looked terribly small. His face was flushed, with dry tear tracks staining the smooth skin there. The collar of the t-shirt was dark, clearly still damp from the blonde’s sadness, which meant he had likely fallen asleep not long ago. 

The redhead had seen Cloud angry, had seen him frustrated, and afraid. However, he had never seen Cloud cry. Something about it made him mad, but not at the blonde, who looked so hurt and vulnerable in his sleeping state. No, it made him angry at himself. Was this his doing? Had Cloud wept so much because of him? The constant glares that marred the younger man’s delicate features certainly wasn’t a good look for him, but gods this was much worse. Cloud was always so careful to show nothing but strength, and determination around them, but it had never occurred to him the faces Cloud might reveal when he was alone. The genuine emotions the blonde would allow himself to express, without prying eyes watching his every move. 

Instead of disturbing the deep sleep Cloud was in, Genesis decided he could be patient. It had been a while since he’d spent real time with Zack anyways, so he wouldn’t mind keeping his youngest boyfriend company while the blonde slept. What he did mind, was the uncomfortable state in which Cloud rested. With a sigh, Genesis ran a contemplative hand down his face, looking around as if to make sure he had no witnesses in the obviously empty room. 

He made his way across the room to where the smaller male was resting, and tapped his shoulder carefully to check how deep his sleep truly was. 

“I swear on Gaia’s name, if you wake up, I will drop you on your skinny little ass,” he threatened the unconscious blonde, before leaning over. 

He carefully shifted one arm under bent knees, and wrapped his other around narrow shoulders, before hefting Cloud up with little effort. It was actually quite startling how light the blonde was, even with his short stature. Cloud clearly didn’t eat as much as someone with an enhanced body should, and that showed how little he cared for his own wellbeing. Whether it be mental, or physical, Cloud appeared to have no regard for his health. 

As he bent over the bed to lay the thin frame down, he was stopped short by fingers latching against the lapels of his coat. While conscious, Cloud seemed to do nothing but push people away, but in sleep, it would seem his true nature was allowed out to play. It was rather adorable how clingy the blonde became when his mind was clouded with blissful rest. He was reminded of the night the younger man had curled up next to Zack on the sofa, and wondered if Cloud himself was aware of how much he craved affection. 

Hesitantly, Genesis brought his own hand up to encase Cloud’s carefully. He pressed his thumb into the pressure point on the blonde’s palm, which caused the boy’s fingers to release their grip. Cloud’s hand remained in Genesis’s own for a minute longer, as the redhead stared contemplatively at pale features. 

“I suppose I can see the fascination, but bless your heart, darling, what are we going to do with you?” He whispered to the unresponsive male, a frown deeply pressing onto his face. 

Finally releasing Cloud’s hand, Genesis moved to lay him down on the bed, before tucking the duvet under a softly pointed chin. Once he was satisfied Cloud looked comfortable, he left the room, flicking the lamp off, and closing the door over in his wake. 

Most intriguing. 

\-------------

CHALLENGE ALERT. 

So, I'm genuinely curious about all of your favorite ships for FFVII, therefore, I have created this fun little challenge. Below, I have posted a picture I drew as reference, but you can also just comment if you don't want to draw! ^^

This is the challenge, draw and send a link, or comment below what you would look like in the final fantasy world, based on your favorite ship. 

These are the color themes for your favorite ship. 

Zack/Cloud = blue + gold  
Seph/Cloud = green + black  
Cloud/Reno = red + gold  
Cloud/Tifa = purple + black  
Zack/Aerith = pink + gold  
Cloud/Aerith = pink + blue  
ASGZC = rainbow + black  
if your favorite isn't listed, then make your own colors that you think fits the ship! :3

These are the weapons your character will have based on romantic/sex preference in fanfiction

Hardcore/possessive = sword  
fluff/softcore = dagger  
mix of both = twin daggers or twin blades  
No smutty time at all = pepper spray

Have fun! I look forward to seeing what you guys comment/draw. :)

Link to my challenge art: https://www.instagram.com/p/CEOsi3cgCIJ/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tortured Soul by Chord Overstreet


	12. Shot in the Dark

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack and Gen have a conversation about the groups growing affection for Cloud, which leads into a very intense session between them. Angeal finally returns to Midgar, head clouded with distress as he seeks out Sephiroth. With the help from his lover, he comes to a startling realization about what exactly happened in Junon. Genesis makes an effort to get closer to Cloud through a wholesome evening of baking, and, in the process, earns the first, tiny bit of Cloud's trust. Hojo begins setting the stage for Cloud after reading Hollander's letter, finally finding a small entry into gaining something of the blonde's. Cutting away a bit of skin never hurt anyone, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These chapters just seem to get longer and longer, OML this one is 15000 words! If the length of the chapters bother you guys, please let me know, and I'll try to break them up. The reason they are so long, is because we are not only following Cloud, but the separate stories and interactions of everyone. I am a very detail oriented writer, and like to set the tone and the stage well. But again, I can always break the chapters up if you guys don't like them being so long! :) We just hit 6000 hits, and 300 Kudos! I'm just... Whutttt!? You guys are amazing, and as always, thank you so much for the support and comments!
> 
> **WARNING: buckle up my children of the ASGZC ship, this is gonna be a bumpy ride -- GRAPHIC sexual intercourse (this is very graphic, and contains themes of the following: Mildly aggressive behavior, degradation, scent play, and D/s themes. You have been warned, as this scene is not for the faint of heart. If you wish to skip over the harder edge of this scene, and go to the fluffier part, then look for this (**) symbol in the text. If you wish to skip the scene entirely, then look for this (!!) symbol, to know when to stop and start reading. IT GETS GRAPHIC, but it is all completely CONSENSUAL. Please do not confuse a D/s dynamic with rape.), brief mention of self-harming tendencies, more of the feels, Hojo (*sighs* yes, I apologize, but the eyesore has returned for another chapter).**
> 
> I think that's it, but do let me know if you feel there is something else I should warn about.

I've been left out alone like a damn criminal

I've been praying for help cause I can't take it all

I'm not done

It's not over

Now I'm fighting this war since the day of the fall

And I'm desperately holding on to it all

but I'm lost

I'm so damn lost

Oh I wish it was over

And I wish you were here

\------------------------

Genesis walked back out into the living room to join Zack on the sofa, plopping down with his legs outstretched on the floor before him.

The black-haired man looked up curiously at the redhead, who had seemed dead set on talking to Cloud just moments before. He reached for the remote on the coffee table in front of the couch, muting the movie he had been only half invested in. 

“Why do humans have emotions? What good do they serve us, other than to cause mental torment?” Genesis threw out the question to fill the silence, his head tilted back to regard the plain, white ceiling of Zack’s apartment. He seemed to genuinely struggle with the question himself, unable to grasp the use of something so apparently detrimental. 

Where Genesis may be having trouble with the thought, Zack was quick to reply. 

“Emotion is what makes us human, and separates us from the beasts we kill on a daily basis. If we weren’t able to feel, we wouldn’t be able to care.” The black-haired man replied in a matter-of-fact voice, though he was a bit confused about what brought up such a random question. 

Genesis hummed to acknowledge Zack’s words, though he made no indication as to whether or not he agreed with them. Red lashes fluttered closed, as Genesis began to settle further back into the couch peacefully. 

In truth, the older SOLDIER couldn’t bring himself to understand what could possibly justify the mental agony of the blonde resting down the hall. Emotions were the reason Cloud was hurting, and the reason why Genesis CARED that he was hurting -- for whatever gods forsaken reason. The redhead hardly wished he could take away the pain of others, as he always felt a person’s sufferings made them stronger. What level of hell would someone have to go through, in order to be reduced to a state such as the one he’d seen Cloud in?

What person was so averse to human touch, that it physically sickened them? What person couldn’t manage to share any of their inner thoughts, but still managed to weep once left alone? What person craved affection so deeply, but was so consumed by fear that they couldn’t acknowledge it? 

A gentle soul. Cloud had a very gentle soul, which clearly hated bringing pain to others -- yet he was so blind to his own pain. Genesis was aware of Cloud’s gentle nature since the first time they fought, and recently found just how much antagonizing it took to actually bring out the blonde’s ferocity. If the younger male could help it, he’d sooner disarm his opponent and let them free, rather than take their life. It was both endearing, and infuriating in its foolishness. Someone like Cloud should be blood thirsty, and angry at the world that had caused him so much agony. Instead of hatred, however, the blonde’s heart seemed to bleed for everyone and everything. He was so focussed on whatever went through that little head, that he didn’t realize all of the open wounds he carried. 

The wounds were raw, and bleeding, and barely plugged up by whatever barriers Cloud had built over the years. Yet no one could seem to get close enough to help those wounds heal -- not without Cloud’s permission. And thus far, Genesis was hardly in a better position than Sephiroth with how far he’d grown from the blonde. Sure, it may not be a competition, but Genesis couldn’t help but feel his competitive side flare when he thought of how much progress Zack and Angeal had already made. That brought up the question of, why, again. 

Why was the redhead suddenly feeling the strong urge to help Cloud, whom he’d just spent the past several hours being aggravated with. The elusive kitten was, for all he knew, a threat to not only his partners, but the four SOLDIER’s entire relationship. He’d be lying if he hadn’t spent the better part of his thoughts trying to think of how he could get rid of Cloud. 

One look at a tear-stained face, and he was ready to fall to his knees for the blonde’s every whim. It was absolutely infuriating! 

Genesis let out a low groan, bringing his arm up to cover his face and beg for some sense of relief from his inner thoughts. 

“What’s got you so grouchy?” Zack’s teasing voice rang out in the room, reminding Genesis of why he was still here. 

The redhead slid his arm down his face a bit so his eyes could peak out at his lover. Zack stared back at him, his head cocked to the side curiously in a very puppy-like way. 

“What is your personal opinion on Cloud?” Genesis mumbled out around his arm. 

Zack still had obviously caught the words, as his eyes immediately disconnected from Genesis’s own. 

A thin finger was brought up to Zack’s chin, before the black-haired man let out a thoughtful hum himself. It was an overly dramatic display of thought, meant to hide how much real mental power the younger SOLDIER was giving the redhead’s question. 

“I think he deserves to be treated better than you’ve treated him so far.” Zack finally announced, before nodding his head firmly, and turning his gaze back to Genesis. 

The older male let out a growl, his patience currently not strong enough to handle Zack’s run around declarations. This was a clear indication that the black-haired man was not only still a bit angry over Genesis’s actions, but also that he was hiding his true thoughts. 

“You know that is not what I’m asking, Zack. Save me the trouble of forcing an answer out of you -- don’t be shy on my account, pray tell, my dear.” The pet name at the end of Genesis’s words came out more bitter than it should have, as the redhead fully removed the arm completely from his face. 

“I know what you’re asking, Gen…” Zack trailed off, his voice wavering a bit when he took in the harsh look on the older man’s face. 

“Then are you refusing to answer me because you are trying to annoy me, or because you are afraid the answer will upset me?” Genesis snipped out, not completely sure who he was even angry with anymore.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Zack quizzed back, his face contorting with confusion. 

“Do you like Cloud? Is what I am asking you,” the redhead lowered his voice this time, as if worried someone might hear. 

Zack, the man who seemed to never run out of things to say, grew terribly quiet, his eyes widening a fraction. His throat bobbed up and down with the force at which it took for him to swallow. 

“You’re asking if I like Cloud as in, like LIKE him?” Zack’s eyes were doe-like with shock, his face appearing to flush a bit under the fluorescent lighting shining from above. 

“Oh for fucks sake, Zack, YES. Perhaps, for you, I need to put it into better terms. Do you hope Cloud will become your friend in arms, or your friend in the sheets?” The last of Genesis’s patience snapped like a rope holding too much weight. He loved the black-haired boy, but sometimes he had to wonder if he was too naive, or simply too thick in the skull. 

“I’ve never thought of Cloud in THAT way. Of course I want to be his friend, but even if I did end up liking him, I’d never take advantage of him like that. And I really hope you don’t think I’d allow you to do the same.” Zack’s voice lowered an octave, his eyes growing dark as he held Genesis’s gaze. 

The redhead rolled his eyes, before resting his elbow on the arm of the couch, and leaning the side of his head into his closed fist. He now completely disregarded Zack’s staring, instead deciding to bring their conversation to its grand finale. 

“You aren’t a liar, and you never have been. So no more avoiding my questions with run around responses. I’ll make it perfectly simple for you, yes or no, are you absolutely certain you have no feelings for Cloud, nor developing emotions?” Genesis made sure to keep his words level, and clear, so that his lover caught every syllable uttered. 

“I--” Zack began, but Genesis didn’t give him the chance to finish. 

“Yes or no, Zack,” the redhead repeated in a harder voice. 

Genesis heard the black-haired man curse under his breath, obviously annoyed at not being able to say what he wanted. But the older SOLDIER was tired of these games, and wanted something -- anything -- straightforward from one of his partners. 

It felt like hours before Genesis heard Zack’s voice again, as he waited for the answer he already knew was coming. 

Zack thought back to the moment he first saw Cloud, trembling and defensive like a wild animal, on his knees. The blonde had been in no shape to put up a fight, and yet he still managed to growl out his unspoken threat to the SOLDIER. Mako-infused, baby blue eyes were so tired and lost when they looked up at Zack. That event marked the moment when Zack promised to protect him -- promised he wouldn’t let Cloud end up in such a state again. 

The younger male seemed to be a ball of never ending glares and threats, but he was still as gentle as a peaceful night sky. Zack had had his doubts about whether or not he’d ever be able to get closer to the blonde, who couldn’t even stand the barest of touches. But with each interaction, he got to see a new side of Cloud, each one even better than the last. Then, that night’s events had caused new feelings to emerge -- feelings that were sickeningly sweet, yet almost painful. Protectiveness had begun to rise to dangerous levels, as he washed the blood away from a beautifully plump lip. Fondness grew from a flicker to a flame, when he’d heard a gentle laugh fall from Cloud’s mouth for the first time. And the urge to claim something that wasn’t even his drew forth, when he had made sure the little spitfire ate his entire meal. 

Cloud wasn’t his, that much was a fact… but Zack would only be lying to himself, and Gen, if he said his hopes hadn’t begun to rise at the prospect of the blonde becoming his -- becoming theirs. Genesis was right, though, Zack was not a liar, and he wouldn’t start now. 

“No.” The word was spoken softly, barely even above a whisper, but at least it was the first honest response Genesis had gotten in a while. 

“And are you prepared to deal with the consequences your interest in Cloud might lead to?” Genesis asked this question with a deep sigh, feeling defeated by the entire situation. 

Another drawn out silence filled the room, with the only sound being Zack shifting uncomfortably next to Genesis. 

Zack doubted his feelings would ever be reciprocated for several reasons. Firstly, for all they knew, Cloud was probably straight. Not only that, but even if the younger male was as far from straight as they came, a relationship with four people would be a lot for anyone. And that didn’t even scratch the surface on the bigger picture -- Cloud didn’t trust any of them. 

But…

If there was any hope at all that, in the future, Zack would get to see that heart-warming smile every day. Any hope that Cloud would one day greet him with a hug loving enough to bring him to his knees. Any pipe dream that the blonde would trust them with everything, from his everyday life, to revealing the deeper, darker sides hidden within. If any of these hopes existed, Zack would gladly take on any challenge that presented itself to him. 

He wasn’t stupid, of course. He still wanted plenty of time to get to know Cloud better, confirm his rising feelings, and gauge the blonde’s better. But if deeper emotions did arise, and Cloud grew to care for them as more than his imprisoners, and more than just friends, then why should he fight against it? Zack had always been a go-with-the-flow guy anyways. 

“Yes,” came a stronger reply from the younger male, who’s back seemed to straighten with the implied challenge. 

The redhead nodded, before placing his hand overtop of the smaller one resting next to him. He stroked his thumb over Zack’s knuckles, relishing in the feeling of baby smooth skin, but hating the surge of protectiveness he felt rise in his chest. 

“Very well… You should know, Angeal seems similarly fond of Cloud, so you two should be careful not to overwhelm him.” Genesis resigned, knowing he was fighting a losing battle if he tried to keep both Angeal AND Zack away from the blonde. His love for the black-haired man at his side swelled stronger though, over the knowledge that at least Zack hadn’t lied to him. 

Zack’s hand jolted with the words from Genesis, his eyes growing even wider than they had previously been.

“Ang? Really? Are you sure?” Zack cleared his ears with his pinky fingers, making sure he was hearing Genesis right. 

It wasn’t like the black-haired man didn’t know Angeal was nicer to Cloud than most people. However, he had just chalked that up to the man’s fatherly side coming forth at the sight of Cloud’s tears. Zack would like to think that anyone would try to comfort someone who cried so painfully. It wasn’t completely uncharacteristic of Angeal to be gentle, and develop some level of skinship with those he was fond of on a platonic level. Since when did Genesis know for sure that Angeal had actual, rising feelings for Cloud?

Genesis looked down at his lover with a “are you thick?” look, which Zack was already used to receiving by now. For all the black-haired man’s smarts, he also tended to miss the obvious on a few occasions. 

The redhead raised the hand that wasn’t holding Zack’s up to the younger’s head, and tapped a finger against the side of his skull. 

“It’s as plain as day, puppy. Angeal may not wear every emotion on his sleeve like you do, but it’s quite clear when he’s grown fond of someone. Why do you think I made such an effort to get closer to you when the two of you started running off together?” Genesis muttered, his breath dancing over Zack’s lips with how close he’d gotten to his lover’s face. 

“And what about Cloud?” Zack asked, his voice coming out breathily, as dark-blue eyes shifted back and forth between Genesis’s gaze, and his flushed lips. 

“What of him?” The redhead asked, a playful tone now making its way into his words. 

“Are you going to make an effort?” 

Genesis hummed, a devilish smirk rising on his face when Zack attempted to lean closer. 

“That remains to be seen -- perhaps you can persuade me with this pretty mouth of yours.” Genesis commented, his thumb brushing over Zack’s parting lips. 

!!

The black-haired man’s eyes fluttered when the appendage slipped past his teeth and pressed against his thumb. The taste of leather exploded on his taste buds, as his tongue came up to run over the gloved skin. 

Genesis’s eyes glowed painfully bright, his excitement growing more prominent with each skillful movement of his lover’s wicked tongue. He kept his thumb settled in the younger SOLDIER’s mouth, as he leaned in to swipe his own tongue over a soft cheek. Each lick was followed by a nip of sharp incisors, before the sting was kissed away. He continued this trail of pain and pleasure all the way down to Zack’s slender neck, where he settled into the man’s weak spot. 

With his thumb keeping the black-haired man’s lips parted, soft moans began to fill the room. Genesis sucked and bit down hard on the pale flesh, making sure to leave his mark imprinted darkly. 

“N--ah” Zack began to try and form words, but was cut off by a sharp nip from his lover. 

“What is it, pet?” The redhead asked, pausing his movements, and removing his thumb from Zack’s mouth. 

“Don’t leave a mark, Cloud might see it,” the younger practically begged, his cheeks flaming red from the idea of his activities being known. 

“Hn, well, too bad you already carry my mark right here--” Genesis began, running his tongue over the dark bruise he’d left behind, and eliciting a pitiful moan from his partner. “I think you want Cloud to see how dirty you are, though. How, while he was asleep, you allowed yourself to be bent over and taken like a little whore. If I ‘make an effort’ with him, as you’ve asked me to, would he not wear my mark as well one day? You’re merely giving him a sneak peek of what to expect.” The redhead finished his words, making sure to bite down even harder on his mark so as to darken it further. Even makeup would be unable to hide the evident claim -- not that Genesis would allow Zack to hide the gift he’d given him anyways. 

“Gen,” Zack whimpered the name out weakly, a bulge clearly growing in the front of his uniform pants. 

“So dirty…” Genesis rubbed the bulge with his knuckles, applying enough pressure that Zack could feel it, but not as hard as he knew his lover wanted. “I want you on your knees, my dear,” He whispered into a flushed ear, before nipping the lobe. 

“N-no, Cloud will come out and--” Once again, Zack was cut short by a sharp squeeze to his clothed groin, eliciting a gasp from agape lips. 

“You shouldn’t be worried about Cloud in your position, and focus on what I’m telling you to do. I want you on. Your. Knees, puppy.” Genesis enunciated each word of his order carefully, applying more pressure to the erection beneath his palm as he spoke.

“Fuck you,” Zack snapped, his head falling backwards at the delicious friction. 

“Oh?” Genesis’s tone was amused, but his eyes grew dark at the back talk he had known was coming. 

Zack could be beautifully submissive to their whims, but controlling him in bed wasn’t without its challenges. Genesis was surprised the black-haired man had gone this long without mouthing off. But the redhead knew how to play this game all too well, and knew exactly how to bend his little mischief maker to his will. But first…

“What are your safe words?” Genesis asked, pausing all of his actions so Zack’s mind was clear enough to give an answer. It was important to make sure the two important words were remembered before he went any further. 

“Hng…” Zack’s back arched beautifully at the loss of contact, his eyes squinting shut, while his hips searched for his lover’s hand. 

“Focus, precious. I will not touch you any further until I know you remember how to stop this.” Genesis made his voice as soothing as possible, even as he strained to hold himself back. 

“Flame to slow down, inferno to stop.” Zack bit out through clenched teeth, his arousal pressing painfully against the confines of his pants. 

“Good boy,” Genesis praised, but the younger man had no time to relish in those words, when the redhead took a fistful of thick, black hair in his grasp. 

He pulled, but made sure not to exert too much force as not to harm Zack’s neck. It was more of a harsh guidance, as he forced his lover’s body to move with the pulls. 

A yelp escaped Zack’s throat, before his hands came up to grasp Genesis’s wrist. He was pulled swiftly off the couch, and made to fall to his knees between the redheads' spread legs. Between the rough handling, and sexual frustration, a deep growl of dissatisfaction rumbled from Zack’s chest. 

Genesis chuckled at the sound, before using his hold on Zack to press the younger’s face into his clothed crotch. 

“It seems the only time I can get you to listen to a command, is if I give you a sweet punishment as incentive. Is that right, puppy?” Genesis asked, knowing full well Zack couldn’t reply to the teasing with his mouth pressed against his growing bulge. 

That didn’t mean Zack couldn’t use his eyes though, as he glared up at his lover’s smirking features. 

“You should try to be quiet though, you’re afraid Cloud will come out and see you like this, right?” Genesis reminded, his words having their desired effect of making narrowed eyes widen with a glimmer of fear. The redhead knew he was being cruel by not telling Zack Cloud was asleep. But where the younger SOLDIER lacked in his ability to take rougher physical treatment like Genesis could, he made up for in his ability to take harsh teasings, and degradation. So long as cruel words were balanced with sweet actions, Zack soaked up the humiliating tongue lashes like a sponge. 

Genesis kept eye contact with Zack as his fingers moved to the button on his pants. He made sure to make the action as slow as possible -- his nimble fingers moving over the rounded metal, before popping it free. The sound of his zipper lowering echoed in the silent room, furthering Zack’s fears of Cloud hearing. After all, if it was so quiet a zipper could be heard, how would he ever be able to hide the sounds of being fucked. 

With his fly undone, Genesis pressed his bulge harder against Zack’s face, getting a deep grunt from the younger male. The redhead had no doubt he still smelt of the sex he’d had with Sephiroth, as he didn’t have a chance to pick up new clothes from home before he arrived. SOLDIER noses were sensitive, and the silver-haired general had a very distinctive scent. 

Zack’s eyes grew even wider when he finally picked up the traces of their other lover on Genesis’s underwear. This made Genesis smile down evilly sweet at the black-haired man, his fist grabbing the locks between his fingers harder. He used his hold to rub Zack’s nose into the material, which elicited a whimper. 

“How does it feel to know you’re just my little pet, Zack? How does it feel to know I’ve satisfied myself with another, as I press your filthy nose into our leftovers?” Genesis made sure to stroke his thumb over one of Zack’s flushed cheeks; following the stinging words up with a gentle gesture. 

Another growl billowed from the younger man’s throat, his eyes squinting shut from the assault of scents. Sephiroth’s heavy musk was intimidating on any day, as it carried all of his primal desire with it. With Zack’s nose pressed directly into its remnants, Genesis had no doubt it was borderline overwhelming. 

“That’s right, pet, breath it in. I want you naked from the waist down in ten seconds.” Genesis commanded, punctuating his words with an implied threat as he continued rubbing Zack’s face over his crotch. 

Another whimper left the younger male, but he complied with his orders, and swiftly pulled his own pants and underwear down his legs. He fumbled a bit as he tried to work them completely off, with his face still pressed into his lover’s erection. 

“That’s a good, pretty boy.” Genesis cooed, before moving his boot clad foot to bump against Zack’s own hardened member. 

The younger moaned, his eyes snapping open from the touch. 

“You really are a little slut, getting hard in this position.” Genesis growled out, finally losing his composure as he pushed Zack’s head up off his groin. 

Zack took in deep breaths of fresh air hungrily, his eyes watering slightly from relief. However, his break only lasted a few seconds, before Genesis took advantage of his open mouth, and shoved his leaking cock inside. The redhead stilled for a moment, massaging his lover’s throat when Zack gagged and choked on the hot flesh. He started off at a slow rhythm of fucking into the younger man’s mouth, before continuing to use his grip on Zack’s hair to quicken his pace. He slammed his cock into the awaiting throat over and over, watching with satisfaction as drool began to dribble down his lover’s chin. 

“Get it nice and wet, because you know where it’s going next, don’t you, puppy?” Genesis asked, receiving a nod from Zack, along with a choking sound. 

This was the redhead’s way of making sure his partner hadn’t reached his limit. If Zack hadn’t answered, Genesis would have removed his cock from his mouth so he had a chance to speak, and utter his safe word. The fact that Zack nodded meant he was still okay. 

“Prepare yourself for me. Stick your fingers into your greedy hole, and look up at me as you fuck yourself while choking on my dick.” Genesis’s command came out with a moan, as Zack’s velvety tongue rubbed against the head of his length. 

However, when Zack shook his head in refusal, he let out a growl of frustration. He removed his painfully hard member from the soft, wet heat, allowing Zack to speak. 

“C-can we please go back to your apartment, I don’t think I’ll be able to keep quiet enough if we continue out here.” Zack pleaded, though Genesis didn’t miss the way his fingers had already gravitated towards his ass. 

His lover was dangerously close to reaching subspace, meaning it wouldn’t be long now before all of that defiance and attitude melted away completely. It was both exhilarating, and a shame, as breaking down that defiance was part of the fun. 

“You have three choices, Zack. Either I take you here, and you moan and beg for me like a good little pet. Or I drag you into the hallway and fuck you there against the wall, if you’re so worried about Cloud hearing. And the last option is you use your safe word, and we stop everything now. If you slip your fingers inside that tight little hole, I’ll take it you want the first option. If you stand up, I’ll take it as the second. The third is obvious.” Genesis presented Zack’s options before him, making sure to carefully watch his puppy’s facial expressions for any signs of distress. 

It took a couple of seconds before Zack acted. A beautiful, drawn out moan escaped swollen lips, as the younger man pierced himself on one finger. 

Genesis smiled, though this time much kinder. He ran a soothing hand over Zack’s hair, rubbing away any sting from the harsh grip he’d had on the tufts. 

“So needy,” Genesis whispered tenderly, before placing a kiss to the crown of his lover’s head. “So beautiful,” He praised, before trailing his kisses down Zack’s face, until he finally laid a deeper one on damp lips. “Don’t worry, precious, I’ll take good care of you. Forget about your fears, forget about everything else, and give yourself to me.” 

Those words were the last it took for Zack’s eyes to glaze over completely, as he fell beneath the waves, and the last of his defiance left his body. 

**

As Genesis watched his lover slip into a blissful subspace, a thought went through his head before he could stop it. 

‘What would Cloud look like in this position? On his knees and at my mercy?’ 

He had yet to see too many submissive markers in Cloud, but he hadn’t exactly been looking either. The blonde might be slighter in stature than the rest of them, but size and height did not determine sexual preference. The first time Genesis sparred with Cloud, he managed to grab ahold of the blonde, and sooth him in a manner similar to that he’d use with Zack. It was the only remotely submissive tendency the older SOLDIER had seen, and even that wasn’t exactly evidence. 

Genesis hadn’t missed Cloud’s obvious liking for pain, as the blonde often took comfort in it. But again, a masochistic streak -- or potentially concerning self-harming issue -- was not indicative of a true submissive. 

Well, at this point both Zack and Sephiroth wanted Genesis to spend a little time with the kitten, and he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t interested in doing so. It might not be too bad to try and seek out which side of the spectrum, if any, Cloud was on. He could gauge the younger man’s behavior through little things, like giving him small orders, or maybe even watching his interactions with Zack. It was no secret how much more the blonde allowed with their youngest boyfriend. Which meant the one with the least subtlety now had all the power Genesis desired. If he played his cards right thought, it shouldn’t take too long for him to change that. 

Genesis was broken out of deep thoughts by a needy whine from the man at his feet. Zack had already managed to work his way up to three fingers, and was all but begging for more. His face was flushed, and his lips were parted with the soft pants that escaped them. Every time the black-haired man would push his fingers in, he tried so desperately to get them to brush against that delicious spot inside. Alas, pleasuring oneself in that sense was a lot harder than simply gaining satisfaction from one who could breach deeper. In this instance, Genesis was that one endowed with what Zack was craving. 

Genesis grabbed himself by the base of his cock, as he slapped and rubbed the head against his lover’s face. 

“Is this what you want, precious?” He asked, licking his lips from the wet sounds that filled the room. He bit down hard on his bottom lip when his little pet gave a vigorous nod, and laid his head against Genesis’s thigh. 

There were many reasons why Zack had been given the nickname, puppy, and this was one of them. Once the younger male hit subspace, he turned into an affectionate, whimpering mess, who listened to his master’s every word. Getting the black-haired man into subspace was a chore, and usually accomplished through a lot of effort. Genesis was always keen on forcing Zack into submission through degrading him, but once Zack reached this sweet, adorable frame of mind, he couldn’t bring himself to be so cruel anymore. Most of the time, neither could Angeal. In fact, Seph seemed to be the only one who would keep playing roughly, even after Zack hit subspace. That was just in Seph’s nature though, and he was more than a caring, gentle lover after the fact. Maybe it was because he was so conscious of his own brutalities during the act, but Sephiroth was better at aftercare than the rest of them. Above all, the three of them knew, and trusted, that the silver-haired man would never, ever bring true harm to them. 

That did raise concern, however, for the prospect of what Cloud would be able to handle. Even if the blonde was a dominant type, he would need to retain some submissive tendencies in order to be active with Sephiroth. Additionally, Genesis simply could not imagine submitting to Cloud -- the whole mental image he got just seemed foolish, and out of place. Really, the only person Genesis could see submitting to Cloud was Zack, and even that was a very big stretch. It wasn’t hard to control Zack once the foundations were laid, but it was the amount of patience, and finesse it took to get them in place that was difficult. It took Genesis himself several failed sessions, before he finally learned the best ways to tame their puppy. He was not too keen on sharing those secrets he’d worked so hard to uncover. 

“Gen, please -- please pay attention to me. I want you.” Zack’s words were breathy, and practically moaned out. This was one man who had mastered the art of begging with eyes alone, in a way that always left them all speechless. 

“Patience, my dear.” Genesis chastised, before shifting himself properly on the couch to give Zack what he wanted. Once he leaned back comfortably on the plush surface, with his feet braced against the floor, he patted his thigh. “Come, sit on my lap.” The words may have sounded like a command, but they were soft, and open for debate if Zack didn’t like the idea. 

That was hardly the case though, as Zack made short work of climbing into his lover’s lap.

Genesis wrapped his lean arms around Zack’s slim waist, using the leverage of his feet on the ground to lift the younger man up a bit. Once he was positioned right at that soft, welcoming entrance, he began to settle Zack down onto his pulsing member. 

Genesis made shushing noises when his lover began to whimper halfway down his length. He vaguely wondered when the last time Zack had had sex was, as he knew it had been a solid few weeks since he’d breached the tight heat of the younger man himself. 

“Too big,” the black-haired male cried out, his back arching as he tried to move away from the intrusion. 

“Shh, no it’s not -- you can take it, I know you can. You’ve done it before, haven’t you? You’ve taken in Sephiroth down here…” Genesis traced the rim of the stretched hole to both further the weight of his words, and massage it into compliance. “...And he’s much bigger than me, isn’t he?” 

Zack keened, but nodded his head in agreeance, knowing full well he had taken in larger than Genesis. This didn’t change the obvious fact though, that his redheaded lover was still very well endowed. Even so, the younger man took what was given to him in stride, and finally managed to sink down completely on the entire length. 

A moment passed where the two men sitting on the sofa remained completely still, with nothing but the sounds of ragged breaths passing between them. Genesis let out a deep groan, nuzzling his face into the juncture of his lover’s shoulder, and inhaling Zack’s scent deeply. He wrapped one hand around the smaller male’s neck -- not applying too much pressure, but instead offering reassurance. With his thumb against the pulse point in his Zack’s slim neck, Genesis was able to pay careful attention that the younger’s heart rate didn’t race too high. 

Once the redhead was certain Zack could handle it, he shifted his hips down into the cushion beneath him. One hand remained braced under Zack’s thigh, pushing the smaller male up off his dick a bit. This caused a strangled groan to press out of Zack, which soon turned into a quiet shout when Genesis allowed him to fall back down on his cock. The older man thrusted up at the same time, causing his member to hit that sweet spot inside his lover. 

At the loud exclamation that came out of Zack, Genesis moved the hand, holding the black-haired man’s neck, up to cover his mouth. 

“Hush now, sweet thing, remember we’re trying to be quiet,” Genesis reminded into Zack’s ear, before placing a wet kiss on his jaw. 

They continued in that position for a long while, until their movements became more desperate. Genesis, no longer satisfied with the limitations their current orientation presented, growled out his frustration. The low, threatening rumble in his chest caused Zack to squirm, fueling the possessive battle Genesis was having within himself. He didn’t just want to have Zack, he wanted to completely claim him -- to make sure the smaller male knew exactly who he belonged to. 

With a grunt from muscle strain, Genesis flipped them both onto the couch so that he now towered over Zack’s lean form. He buried his nose into the black-haired man’s neck, and set to work placing a new mark opposite to the previous one. With his hand still clamped over Zack’s mouth, the younger let out puffs of air through his nose that tickled Genesis’s ear. The redhead’s other hand traveled down Zack’s chest, pinching hardened nipples through the material of his shirt. The appendage continued lower, and lower, until Genesis’s soft fingers wrapped around his prize. 

His hands had always been the smoothest of all his lovers -- despite their combative line of work creating deep callouses on most SOLDIER’s palms. He constantly moisturized his skin, knowing full well how much his partners loved the soft touch. 

At the contact, Zack let out a pitiful, pleading groan through the hand covering his mouth. Eyelashes fluttered, as narrow hips bucked up into the tight grasp. The sudden action caused him to meet a particularly powerful thrust from Genesis head on, making both of them growl with pleasure. The sounds now filling the room, though greatly diluted because of their company just a room away, grew animalistic and desperate. 

Genesis thrusted harder into the smaller form his body was wrapped around, his hips jerking forwards and back impossibly fast. His abdomen strained both from the physical exertion, as well as the tight coiling of heat beginning to form there. He began stroking his lover’s member with renewed vigor, determined not to release before he made Zack come undone. 

Zack jerked around at the double stimulation to his cock and his prostate, which Genesis now made sure to hit with every thrust. The younger male’s face was now streaked with tears of pleasure and frustration. He was torn between trying to escape the intense onslaught of the man penetrating him, and wanting more. Desperate pleas were mumbled out around the hand covering his mouth.

The sight pulled at Genesis’s sympathy, making him remove his hand from soft lips, and replace it with his own pair. He swallowed each of Zack’s moans, the grinding of his hips causing his cock to press in deeper. This, combined with the stroking of the younger’s cock, and the tongue now entering Zack’s mouth, tipped him over the edge. 

Zack’s muscles spasmed, and his lashes fluttered as his eyes rolled into the back of his head. The orgasm was explosive, pulling forth pitiful whimpers, and throaty grunts from Zack’s throat. The muscles around Genesis’s cock clamped down, alternating between a tight, almost painful, grip, and soft wetness. That was all it took for Genesis to fall over the edge with his partner. He bit down roughly on his lip to stifle the shouts of pleasure his throat craved to let free. However, even if Cloud was sleeping, he knew not to allow too much noise to fill the room. 

Zack went limp beneath him, his eyes closed as he took everything his lover gave him into his twitching hole. Genesis’s release was hot, feeling like a small fire as it coated his insides. All Zack could do was lay there and wait for the redhead to finish, while letting out his own sounds of satisfaction. 

It took a few moments before the larger man could manage to slip his softening member from the black-haired male’s body. He let out a surprised grunt, when the separation of their bodies allowed him to feel the stickiness coating his stomach where his shirt had risen up. He ran his fingers through the thick fluid, a hum bubbling up from his chest. 

Zack’s eyes remained closed, even when he felt his lover’s wet fingers pressing into his lips. The salty flavor of himself spread over his tongue, but in his pleasurable afterglow, he sucked the digits clean compliantly. 

“You’ve made such a mess, puppy. Did it feel that good?” Genesis teased, receiving a growl of protest in return, before Zack pressed his teeth warningly against the redhead’s fingers. 

!!

It was clear his lover was no longer in his perfectly submissive frame of mind, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t in need of the appropriate care from such an exhaustive session. Genesis sat back on the couch, pulling Zack with him, and resting the younger against his chest. His fingers carded through dark locks, as the knuckles of his other hand made soothing circles on Zack’s hip. 

“‘Gonna make ‘n effort with Cloud now?” Zack asked through his relaxation, prompting a chuckle from Genesis. 

“How could I possibly say no now that you’ve gifted me with such a pleasant time,” Genesis began, a soft smile resting on his face as he placed a chaste kiss to the top of Zack’s head. “Thank you, precious, you are amazing.” 

Zack hummed, a smile of his own gracing his face, while he snuggled into the material of Genesis’s shirt. 

“Wanna bath,” the black-haired man stated, tapping a hand on the redhead’s shoulder. 

“Of course, it’s waiting for you just down the hall,” the older male teased, not making any movements to get up. 

“Gen--” Zack whined, before grabbing onto a lock of red hair, and yanking. 

Genesis grunted, but still managed to laugh at the action, knowing full well how demanding his lover became after the fact. He’d better get his ass in gear, before Zack decided to burn the whole place down with his tantrums. 

After he got his lover settled in his room to rest, he’d go wake Cloud up from his nap, and make due on his promise. 

\-------------------

Angeal arrived back at Shinra at an ungodly hour, his body exhausted, and covered in a grotesque mixture of blood. He couldn’t even differentiate his own crimson fluid from those of the monster’s he’d fought anymore. He ignored all of the questions of the infantryman and medical staff crowding around him. The young combatants swirled all over the place, aggravating Angeal as they tried to offer him towels, and water. He batted them away with a frustrated growl, just as easily as he shoved the medical staff from his path as they tried to get his vitals. 

“Mr. Hewley, please, sir, we need to get you to the hospital bay and tend to your wounds.” A rather tall nurse, with auburn hair, and worried features pressed. 

Though most of the time Angeal was okay with humoring their concerns, this was not the right time. He felt disgusting, tired, and, above all, the raven needed to report to Sephiroth about what happened. He wanted all of the information to still be fresh in his mind when he spoke to the general, and the people who grouped around him only served as a distraction. 

“Sir, please take this,” a 3rd class SOLDIER tried to offer him a towel, staring disgustedly at the trail of mud and blood Angeal was leaving behind. 

“Sir, drink this,” an infantry man tried to shove an electrolyte drink into his palm. 

“Would you like me to escort you back to your quarters sir?” someone from the back of the crowd called out. 

Angeal really, really didn’t have time for this, and his patience was wearing thin by the second. 

“Leave me!” He shouted, shoving his way through the crowd more aggressively than he probably had to. It did the trick though, as the stunned hoard finally stopped in their tracks, and watched his retreating form. 

Angeal didn’t even bother with the elevator, not keen on the idea of it stopping every other floor to let more people in. He opted for taking the stairs, striding up them three at a time and ignoring the way his legs burned with the extra strain on his wounded body. He continued to ignore the stunned looks of the occasional passerby, his desperation to make it to Sephiroth being the only thing keeping him going. 

He let out a grunt of impatience when he had to scan his key card on their residency floor. The mechanisms light flashed from red to green when it validated his identity, allowing him to press through. The raven stalked down the dimmed hallway, before letting out a breath of relief when he finally made it to his destination. His body seemed to be deflating by the minute, as adrenaline left him to the mercy of the weakness which was slowly consuming him. 

Angeal didn’t bother knocking, reaching a shaking hand out to grasp the knob and push the door open. 

“Seph!” He called out once inside, grimacing at the sound of his own scratchy voice. 

He tried again when he received no response, his call growing more desperate. There was a rumbling, and a sound like something heavy falling on the ground. Sephiroth emerged from his bedroom, hair slightly mussed, and eyes a bit droopy from sleep. Angeal would normally have felt bad for waking his lover from what was clearly a rare deep sleep. However, there were more pressing matters to deal with, and he could afford the guilt when he had so much to say. 

“Angeal--” Sephiroth breathed out, his words sounding strained with worry as he took in the deplorable state of the raven. He managed to cross the distance between them in just a few strides, grasping Angeal’s chin between his thumb and forefinger. He turned the man’s head from side to side, grimacing at all of the blood stuck to dirty skin, and matted in dark hair. “What the hell happened?” His question came out softly, but there was the slightest hint of malice in it. Such casual, and vulgar words were very unusual for the general, unless he was genuinely angry. 

Angeal batted Sephiroth’s hands from his face, not too comfortable on being under such scrutiny right now. He needed his space, and thankfully the silver-haired man got the hint and granted it to him. 

“Talk to me, what has you coming to me in such a state?” Sephiroth pressed carefully, even if his tone was full of its usually strictness. 

“For starters, Junon is pretty much out of commission right now.” Angeal began, the weariness in his limbs finally making him sit down on one of Sephiroth’s immaculately white coaches. He’d pay to get it replaced if need be, but right now he needed to sit before he collapsed. 

Sephiroth looked up at the raven from where he now stood in the kitchen, his hands moving expertly over a tea kettle. 

“What do you mean ‘out of commission’?” Sephiroth inquired, his gaze now shifting back to continue with his task. 

“I mean everything has completely shut down, including the reactor.” Angeal winced at the memories that assaulted him. Junon was an absolute shit show right now, but the biggest thing irking the raven, was how nobody could seem to explain WHY. Everything felt like it had happened in the blink of an eye, and only now was he fully able to process it. 

“Judging from your condition, and the fact that you’ve decided to come here rather than the medical bay--” Sephiroth did cast a disapproving look in Angeal’s direction at that, wishing the man had at least gotten himself looked over. “I’m assuming it was not an intentional shut down -- not on Shinra’s part, at least.” 

“Not an intentional shutdown on anyone’s part, not just Shinra’s. Even a terrorist organization wouldn’t have been able to accomplish something like this, and leave absolutely no traces behind. I mean... It’s hell out there right now, and no one has any answers. Not a single record shows signs of tampering, and it was almost as if someone just pulled a plug to turn everything off.” Angeal explained in more detail, muttering a soft ‘thank you,’ when he was presented with a cup of warm tea. He’d never been too partial to the oddly floral drink, but he’d welcome anything warm on his throat right now. Perhaps it would help to calm his nerves, which were still on edge. 

“What do you infer happened, then?” Sephiroth asked, taking a sip of his own heated beverage where he sat next to Angeal. 

“Honestly, I have no idea. There isn’t even a single shred of logic in my head that could point to an answer on this one. It just seems… impossible” The raven’s brows knitted together, his headache rising anew behind his eyes. 

Sephiroth, well attuned to the signs of distress in his partner, lifted a hand up so that he could press his thumb into the skin between two brows. The general massaged the area gently, earning a satisfied moan from Angeal. 

“Sure there is, angel, you just haven’t calmed your mind enough to find it yet.” Sephiroth was the only person alive who could call Angeal, angel. 

It was a pet name full of tenderness now, where it had been a means of teasing in the past. People had often made fun of his name when he was younger, and a few had still dared to even after the raven had become a SOLDIER. When his relationship with the silver-haired man had begun to grow though, Sephiroth would always silence those who thought it funny to mess with Angeal. It was almost like Sephiroth was trying to replace all of the bad memories Angeal had of the name, with good ones from himself. 

They all had their own names for each, just as Sephiroth had his own names for each of them. Angeal was “angel,” a nickname that now had a lot of nostalgia when the raven thought of their shared past. 

Genesis was “sweet,” though the connotation behind that pet name was almost laughable. Anyone who met Genesis, and really got to know him, knew how hard it was to bring out that sweeter, gentler side. Once someone did get to see it though, it meant that person not only had his respect, but a part of the redhead as well. Genesis gave away pieces of himself like one put rare artifacts on display in a museum. These fragments were given out slowly, but each one held a heavy weight. Once the piece was given, it was forever theirs. And should the person who held one of those pieces leave or die, so too did that fragment of Genesis. It meant Genesis’s trust, and that sweeter side was the hardest to gain out of all of them. 

And Zack, well, they all called him “puppy” quite often, even if they all still had their own terms of endearment for the black-haired man. Sephiroth’s chosen term, however, was “flower.” It was a name chosen carefully when the general realized how fond Zack was of the sweet smelling, petaled objects. He had almost changed it once though, when he learned why the younger SOLDIER liked them so. 

Zack had seen many terrible things in his short lifetime, but the loss of his girlfriend -- a gentle girl who loved growing flowers -- had been something agonizing for him. Whenever the anniversary of her death came around, they all knew the one thing that seemed to soothe their mourning boyfriend, was a colorful arrangement. Particularly Azalea’s, which apparently symbolized “first love.” 

None of them held his sorrow against him, knowing that Zack’s heart belonged to them, even if a part of it was left behind with another. 

Sephiroth had offered to change the pet name, not wanting it to bring up sad memories whenever it was uttered. But Zack had given the silver-haired man one of the warmest, most genuine smiles he’d ever received, and said something that doused any doubt. 

“Don’t change it, it makes me feel like when I see them -- the flowers -- I don’t have to be sad anymore… or something.” The black-haired man had laughed the words away at the end, not keen on seeming weak, but the other three knew they were his true feelings. 

They all held their pet names for one another close, and didn’t choose them frivolously, but Sephiroth’s were always the most heartfelt. Whenever asked about the terms he’d chosen, he always said “meaningless words, those without thought, hold no place with me.” It made no sense to any of them for the longest time, but they soon came to realize what he meant. 

“If the names I choose to gift have no meaning, then I’d rather not use them, because something meaningless is worthless.” 

It was one of the reasons why the general didn’t use terms of endearment often, because he wanted to make sure, if he did use them, that it was a real expression of his adoration. Not just words spoken without feeling, or thought. 

Anyone who dared to say Sephiroth didn’t feel anything, was only ignorant in their mind's eye. The silver-haired man held so much emotion, that the very reason he couldn’t get a proper night’s rest was because of the weight he carried. The weight of all the lives he’d taken, and all the horrors he’d witnessed. 

Angeal was torn from his thoughts by another pressured rub on his forehead. He looked up at the concerned gaze of his lover, whose own brow was scrunching with his worry for the raven. 

“You need to relax your mind a bit, clear out all of the folly, and think from a different angle. You are incredibly intelligent, Angeal. Words like “impossible,” don’t suit you very well, nor have they ever. You’ve allowed yourself to be overwhelmed, and your judgement to be clouded by fear. So listen to my words, calm yourself, and use that brilliant mind.” Sephiroth consoled, finally rubbing away the lines between the raven’s brows. 

Think from a different angle… 

What did he already know? Yesterday, the Sister Ray had started malfunctioning, which was why he’d been called out to Junon in the first place. Around the same time the next day, all operations of the cannon had been halted completely. A few hours after that, power throughout Junon shut down… He had been wrong, it wasn’t like a switch being shut off -- it wasn’t that sudden. This was gradual, like a…

“Wait…” Angeal muttered softly, before his eyes grew wide, and he shot forwards in his seat. 

Sephiroth seemed surprised by the action, but was quick to right himself, and give Angeal a disapproving look. 

“Sorry, but I just had a thought,” Angeal’s voice was airing on the edge of disbelief, as if his own thought was impossible to be true. 

“Care to share?” Sephiroth inquired, grabbing a few tissues off of the center table so he could clean off a small spilling of tea on his pant leg. No doubt put there by Angeal’s sudden movement.

“I was wrong, it wasn’t like a switch being turned off, it all happened more like a domino effect,” he began, grabbing a few books off of Sephiroth’s bookshelf. He stood three books up on the coffee table, gaining a confused look from the silver-haired man on the couch. “In order for a chain of events to begin, you have to have a source -- in this case, the first book,” he pointed to the first book in line. It was bigger, and thicker than the others, which were all around the same size. “Suppose the last book in this line is the reactor, and the middle is the Sister Ray. When I first arrived, the cannon was already non operational. Tseng told me it went down about an hour before my arrival, and when I looked through its database, it told me there was no mako being fed. Like all mechanical objects built by Shinra, the Sister Ray needs a constant flow of mako to stay running. It’s reach is the last in a long line, as the mako has to pass out of the ground, through the reactor, and into the weapon,” Angeal looked up at Sephiroth, making sure the man was paying attention. 

“Yes, that’s how mako works,” the general nodded his head, not really sure where Angeal was going with this display. 

The raven rolled his eyes, before pointing to the book that apparently symbolized the mako cannon. 

“The reason the mako cannon went down, was because there wasn’t enough mako in the reactor,” he then pointed to the last book. “The reactor didn’t have enough mako, because there wasn’t enough being fed to it from the planet,” he finally pointed to the book, which Sephiroth now realized must symbolize the part of the lifestream that flowed through Junon. “This artery of mako is one of many, think of it like an artery in an arm -- an appendage -- of Gaia. If my artery becomes clogged, or infected, what does the body do to compensate for this loss of connection?” Angeal asked, looking up expectantly at the general. 

“I’m a SOLDIER, not a biologist, Angeal,” Sephiroth grunted, taking a sip of his drink. 

“And I’m not an engineer, yet here we are. This is basic stuff, Seph. If the blood flow is blocked through an artery, then the body begins to discard the appendage it no longer has a connection with. Starting in my fingers, necrosis would set in, as my arm slowly begins to die. Little by little, all operations of my arm would cease, and the old flesh would die out,” Angeal concluded, before tapping the first, larger book. One at a time, the books toppled over, each one being knocked over by the last. “It isn’t a switch, Seph, it’s a disconnection, or an infection. The part of the lifestream that runs through Junon has either been clogged, or infected somehow. The fingers are the Sister Ray, the wrist is the reactor, and the arm is where the problem started.”

Sephiroth stared down at the fallen books, pressing his thumb and forefinger into his temple and jaw as he leaned his head on his hand. 

“The hard part is figuring out what caused the problem in the first place,” the silver-haired man concluded, now understanding the elaborate analogy. 

“I’m just hoping, now that the dead flesh has been eroded away, that this is the one and only occurrence. If it’s a clog, the removal of the limb should have put an end to it. If it’s an infection…” Angeal paused, not wanting to say the words dancing on his tongue. 

“Infections spread,” Sephiroth finished for him, filling his lungs with a deep breath of air. 

The silence that fell between them was heavy, and full of understanding for what an infection could mean. 

“So then, who's going to tell Rufus Junon is probably done for as far as Shinra is concerned?” Angeal joked, earning a kick in the back from his boyfriend. 

“Jokes that concern Shinra on a corporate level do not suit you any more than the word ‘impossible’ does. Leave stuff like that to Zack, and Gen, and give me a chance to think of how to bring this up to the President.” Even as he teased his lover, Angeal didn’t miss the faint smile rising on the, otherwise composed, features of Sephiroth. 

“Where do you think the puppy got some of his best jokes from?” Angeal shot back, though his voice was laughing. He finally allowed his mind to rest, exhaustion taking him over as he laid back on the soft carpeting. 

“If you wish to rest, please put my books back, and take a shower first. You may use my bed, I don’t anticipate I’ll find sleep again,” Sephiroth instructed, his voice leaving no room for rebuttal. 

Angeal cast a saddened look in the general’s direction, but nodded anyways, and stood to do as asked. 

The joy of finding an answer had been swiftly replaced by the heavy weight of what this answer implied. A clogged vein was infinitely better than an infection, but only time would tell which one had caused the catastrophe in Junon. 

\--------------------

Genesis took great care in making sure Zack was settled in bed, soft snores leaving his lover’s lips. A thin line of drool leaked out the corner of the younger’s mouth, and every once in a while his face would scrunch the slightest bit. The redhead couldn’t help the small smirk etching itself into his features, knowing full well Zack always looked like this when he was completely worn out. 

“Is Zack alright?” A quiet voice suddenly asked from behind Genesis. The SOLDIER’s body stiffened with the sudden presence of another, but otherwise he remained perfectly unaffected by the intruder. 

Genesis turned around where he stood, taking in the smaller stature of Cloud standing in the doorframe. The blonde’s spiked hair was a little bit more disheveled than usual, and his face was still flushed from sleep. He seemed to be expending a great deal of effort to breathe through his mouth, making the redhead wonder if perhaps he was over-sensitive to smells like Angeal. This was Zack’s room, meaning it had the highest concentration of the black-haired man’s scent. 

“He’s just fine, a bit worn out, but still perfectly fine nonetheless.” Genesis elaborated, arching one brow of interest at Cloud’s obvious concern for Zack. 

The blonde gave a curt nod, avoiding all eye contact with the redhead, before moving to leave the doorway. 

“Are you worried for him, Cloud? Or are you worried I’ve done something to him, and, by extension, worried I’ll do something to you?” Genesis spoke before the younger man could escape. 

His words succeeded in stopping Cloud in his tracks, slim shoulders stiffening almost as soon as his name was called out. Sea-blue eyes met stormy blue in a hard stare off. Cloud’s eyes were hard, and unyielding in their search of Genesis’s own, which were shining with unspoken challenge. 

This kid was just so fucking amusing. 

“I’m not afraid of you,” Cloud’s voice filled the space, sounding just as sure and confident as his gaze was. Slim fingers gripped the doorframe, making the wood there creak under the strain. 

Genesis was baffled, not knowing whether Cloud truly had no fear of him, or if he was just putting on a good show. 

“So then you’re worried for Zack, is it?” Genesis pressed further, though much more carefully than he had in their previous encounters. The redhead was a naturally inquisitive person, and he couldn’t change that, but he now knew he needed to tread lightly with Cloud. 

The younger man’s eyes widened a fraction, but the action was quickly covered up before Genesis could read any type of emotion. Cloud’s tongue swiped his lower lip, lapping at the remains of teeth-inflicted wounds in the flesh there. He let out a tired sigh, before bringing a hand up to rub along his forehead. 

All of these actions alone were small, but put together, Genesis could read the stress in them. Perhaps Cloud wasn’t as hard to read as he’d previously thought him to be; maybe he merely needed to pay more attention to the smaller details. 

“I’m really tired of your mind games, Genesis. Could we please not do this today?” Cloud asked, his voice almost airing on the side of desperation. 

It was a plea, a subtle one, but still a plea nonetheless. 

“I’m not playing mind games with you this time, blondy, I’m just asking a question.” Genesis replied gently, turning his gaze to Zack one last time. When he was satisfied the black-haired man was completely settled in, he plugged in Zack’s PHS on the nightstand next to him, and made to leave. 

As if in tuned to Genesis’s own movements, Cloud backed out of the door at the same speed. The blonde had obviously made sure to not plaster himself against the wall, but he also made it glaringly evident he wasn’t comfortable with Genesis’s presence. 

“Someone who isn’t afraid, has no need to avoid the person they don’t fear,” Genesis remarked as he closed Zack’s door over. It may have sounded like a tease in words, but in tone, it was just a comment. 

“Just because I don’t fear you, doesn’t mean I like being around you,” Cloud spat, the kitten’s claws coming out once more. 

As much as Genesis craved seeing this kitten turn into a cougar, that wasn’t his objective today. He was trying to get closer to Cloud, not push him further away than he already had. 

“Ouch, harsh words, you should be careful where you aim them,” Genesis chuckled, turning to face his company head on. They were a solid few feet apart, but close enough that the redhead could see the stiffening, and twitching of muscles under pale skin. “Relax Cloud, I just want to have a normal, non-violent conversation with you. I’d like to think you owe me this much after leaving me on the floor of the training room.” 

Cloud scoffed, though some of the tension visibly left his body. 

“You were fine, I hardly did enough damage to kill you, and it wasn’t like I was the one who started it.”

“Oh so we’re playing the blame game now? How childish, and here I thought you were mature beyond your years. What a pity,” Genesis continued his playful banter, gesturing for Cloud to follow him down the hall. 

The blonde hesitated a moment, trying to decide whether or not he should follow, or if he should turn and run. When Genesis noticed the blonde’s lack of presence behind him, he turned his body sideways at the entrance to the living room. 

“Come along, Cloud,” he made his voice a little stricter, swishing his hand in a ‘this way’ motion. 

The younger’s hesitation lasted just a few seconds longer, before his feet finally decided to make him move in Genesis’s direction. 

The redhead let out an inaudible grunt of approval, as he made his way past the living room, and into the kitchen. 

“I can’t cook as well as Angeal, but I do have some handiness in the kitchen. What do you like to eat?” Genesis asked, opening Zack’s fridge to try and figure out what ingredients the black-haired youth might have. 

“I’m not hungry, Zack and I already ate earlier,” Cloud remarked, his demeanor as comfortable now as Genesis assumed he was going to get. He made no movement to come further into the kitchen, but he didn’t look like he was going to duck and run anymore either. 

“Well, I’m offering home cooked food, something I certainly don’t very often. It looks like Zack might have enough ingredients in here to make a desert of sorts. A pastry, maybe.” The last part Genesis spoke mainly to himself, hands rifling through the inside of the fridge. 

“What is with all of you and trying to force food down my throat, are you determined to make me fat?” Cloud grumbled, before he seemed to remember something important. “I don’t like sweets anyways, so I won’t eat it.” 

“No sweets? You and Zack are complete, polar opposites.” Genesis stated as he ducked out of the fridge, carrying a few ingredients with him. He placed on the counter a couple of eggs, milk, and a container of mixed fruit. “This won’t be something overpoweringly sweet, only mildly so. While we aren’t trying to make you fat, you could benefit from gaining a few extra pounds. You’re way too thin, and I know it displeases Sephiroth. So hush up and sit.” 

“Since when did my diet become any of your concern? And I’ll tell you what I told Zack earlier -- I don’t give a damn what Sephiroth thinks,” Cloud refuted, a hint of annoyance in his voice. 

The most remarkable thing, Genesis had to notice, was how the blonde did, in fact, sit as he had been instructed. Now how far could he play with this before Cloud told him to fuck off? Genesis grew more excited with their little conversation by the minute, even to the extent he had to remind himself patience is a virtue. 

“Your diet became our concern when we took on the task of keeping you healthy. Even if you gain a few pounds, I promise it won’t be the end of the world. They call me dramatic, but sometimes I think you have me beat -- pass me the flour from over there, please,” The redhead nodded to a glass container with a white, powdery substance inside. His hands were already hard at work mixing the wet ingredients in a small bowl. 

Cloud nodded, hopping down from the bar chair in front of the island, and making his way towards the jar. When he went to push it towards Genesis, the SOLDIER instead pushed a large bowl in front of the blonde. He was careful not to breach Cloud’s little bubble too far, but did press his hand closer than he should have. 

Remarkably, though, Cloud remained as calm-faced, and unaffected as he did before the action -- if maybe just a bit confused as to why he was being handed a bowl. 

“Fill it up about a quarter of the way with flour,” he instructed, before stopping Cloud just as he went to complete the task. “Ah, wait one moment.” Genesis dipped one finger into the container, and brought it to his lips. He licked the powdery substance off, before humming, and nodding to himself. “Zack’s apartment is just as wild and disorganized as his personality. I wanted to make sure it was actually flour, and not cornstarch or sugar,” the redhead explained when he saw the confusion on Cloud’s face. He nodded for the blonde to continue, which, to Genesis’s pleasure, he did. 

“Good?” Cloud mumbled the question out as he tilted the bowl, now containing some of the flour, in Genesis’s direction. 

Deciding to press his luck further, the SOLDIER pretended he couldn’t see properly from the other side of the island. He reached out and grabbed the bowl from Cloud, making sure their fingers brushed ever so slightly. The blonde’s breath seemed to hiccup in his throat at the sudden contact, but he made no move to get away. 

“A tad more,” Genesis responded, pushing the bowl back to Cloud, who complied and poured a bit more flour in with the rest. 

“Why don’t you like sweets, if I may be so bold to ask? Doesn’t your mother ever make you cupcakes, or cookies, or something of a similar nature when you visit home?” Genesis quizzed, his eyes glancing up at Cloud, while he began mixing the wet ingredients into the bowl of flour. 

He knew almost instantly he had asked the wrong question, when a sorrowful look filled Cloud’s eyes. 

“You don’t have to--” Genesis began trying to take the words back, but was soon cut off by Cloud. 

“It’s fine. No, my mother is long gone, but Tif… A friend of mine used to make me those things sometimes when I returned home from work.” There was no hint of sadness in the blonde’s words -- and it looked almost like he’d pushed down his emotions completely. 

It worried Genesis, but he knew dwelling on it would do more harm than good. Instead, he decided to reward Cloud with sharing a bit himself. 

“Sounds like a good friend. Angeal tends to stuff all of us like a turkey when we get back from assignments. One thing he hates is when people turn down his food, in fact, he’s almost like a doting parent in that sense. This one time, during the last war, Seph came home after an entire month of being in the field. I’ve never seen our esteemed general so close to crying than when he sat at the dinner table with three empty plates in front of him. The look on his face when Ang pushed over a fourth was priceless,” Genesis laughed at the memory, his eyes turned skyward as he let out a contented hum. 

Cloud’s lips twitched upwards, but he made no sounds of laughter like the redhead did. His features aired a bit more on the thoughtful side, as if he was trying hard to visualize it himself. 

“That… Sounds like something Angeal would do,” Cloud mused, rubbing his palms on the legs of his pants. 

“Oh? And you know him well enough to think this?” Genesis’s question wasn’t asked with any malice behind it, but rather, vague curiosity. 

Cloud shook his head, blonde hair shifting back and forth a tad with the movement. 

“No, I don’t really know him that well, but…” Cloud stopped speaking, his brow creasing a little with whatever thought went through his head. 

“Don’t stop now, say what you wish,” Genesis pressed, all too curious to know what the blonde would say. 

“I guess it’s just -- what I mean to say is… you all have very expressive personalities. After a while, it’s not too hard to understand the types of people you are. Though some of you are harder than others.” Cloud explained, his forehead wrinkling in concentration. 

“And what do you understand of me?” Genesis dared to ask, pausing his mixing of a cream filling so he could catch the blonde’s gaze with his own. 

“You are harder… but, you seem like the kind of man who is passionate about the things he cares for, and pays little mind to the things he doesn’t. You keep your friends close, but that doesn’t stop you from being an asshole.” Cloud started out sounding timid, but his voice achieved a hint of grouchiness at the end. 

Genesis blinked at Cloud for a second, unable to figure out if he’d just been complimented or insulted. In the end, a cocky smirk graced his features -- wide enough for Cloud to see his teeth. 

Oh if only Cloud knew how the redhead was a bigger asshole to the people he tended to have a liking for. Then the blonde would probably be even more scared of Genesis than before. 

“Fair enough. I can’t say you’re wrong, in some ways. Would it shock you to hear I think you are no less expressive than the rest of us, Cloud?” The redhead’s words held a hint of laughter in them, as he found himself more intrigued by Cloud with each passing minute. 

“Me? As if,” Cloud disregarded Genesis’s comment completely, his head leaning forward curiously to peek into the bowl the redhead was dropping vanilla in. 

Genesis didn’t appreciate not being taken seriously, and snapped his fingers in front of Cloud’s face. The blonde jolted, but it earned the SOLDIER Cloud’s attention once more. 

“I’m serious -- my dear, I don’t think you understand exactly how easy you are to read, once one figures out where to look. You try so hard to cover up everything that makes you a human being, that you actually leave yourself more exposed. For example, with Zack, it’s harder to tell when he’s genuinely happy, because he has such an excitable personality. However, it’s easier to tell when he’s upset, because his demeanor changes more dramatically. For Angeal, it’s harder to tell when he’s in pain, because he has such a… well, I guess you could call it an angry brow.” Genesis chuckled at the term coined by Zack, used to describe how the raven’s brow always seemed to be furrowed. “But it’s easier to tell when he’s feeling at ease, because his features smooth out. And Seph, it’s easier to tell when he’s happy, because he always has such a calm, neutral expression. In that sense, it’s harder to tell when he’s genuinely relaxed. But with you, Cloud, you are always trying to hide everything, which makes it so much easier to see how things affect you. You give up so little, that you give up everything at the same time. So, going off of the time we have shared together, would you like to hear what I understand of you?” Genesis asked, popping a raspberry into his mouth. 

Cloud didn’t nod, but he didn’t say no either. Actually, the blonde seemed to be frozen in his seat, as if Genesis’s words had put a spell on him that made him forget how to even breathe. The redhead took that as a sign to continue, politely waiting until he swallowed the fruit in his mouth. 

“You’ve gone through your life thinking showing emotions is detrimental. Somewhere along the line, perhaps more than once, you experienced great loss. You use this as motivation to protect the people around you, even at the cost of yourself, because you can’t bear to feel that pain again. Pain is a weakness in your mind. Keeping silent is your way of making sure you don’t share too much, because you worry opening yourself up to another will end up hurting you, or worse, the people you care about. You have a bleeding heart, heavily driven by emotions you can’t handle, because you never learned how to understand them.” Genesis made sure to keep his eyes glued on Cloud’s, wanting to take in everything those small, blue seas had to offer. 

“When you become overwhelmed, you shut down completely so as to protect yourself. You can’t stand the touch of another, because you’ve learned to associate it with hurt, meaning your defenses are always up. However, you take comfort in pain, because it is the one thing you feel that you can comprehend. Pain is, in a sense, your release -- your outlet -- that blocks out the other emotions you don’t understand. To summarize… honestly, darling, you are a compassionate, and emotionally compelled individual, who never learned how to trust, and discern his own feelings. But you fear what allowing them in will lead to, because you have no one there to help you with the aftermath. You crave, above all else, affection.” Genesis finished, unnerved by the fact that he couldn’t read Cloud’s expressions. 

The silence that fell between them was heavy, and borderline exhaustive. The redhead made no moves to press Cloud, but he made sure his presence was a heavy force in front of the blonde. When Cloud did speak, his voice was both quiet, and full of disgust. 

“Affection? So what then, I need a fucking hug?” Cloud’s tone bordered on a growl, but his eyes were suddenly full of unspoken pain. A look Genesis was growing all to familiar with on such a delicate face. 

“Affection is not always physical, though it can be, but oftentimes, affection can be given through the other person simply knowing they can come to you. In that same token, affection cannot be received unless the other individual is willing to accept it. You, who cannot handle his own emotions, have never been able to receive, because you cannot accept.” A beeping filled the room, cutting through the next round of impending silence like a knife. “And with that, I believe our conversation is over.” Genesis remarked, before pulling a crust of sorts out of the oven.

He set it on the counter, and looked back and forth between the two bowls in front of him. One with a slightly pink-tinted cream, and the other with a pure white batch. He hummed thoughtfully, glancing up at Cloud, who stared off to the side.

The blonde had his head rested on his open palm, his eyes fixed on a light above the oven. It seemed as though he’d blocked out all outside stimulus, and had taken to getting lost in his own mind. Cloud might call this a momentary escape, but Genesis called it an opportunity. 

“Cloud, Aah,” Genesis’s open-mouthed croon echoed off the tiled walls of the kitchen, pulling Cloud from his thoughts. 

“Aah?” The blonde clearly didn’t understand what ‘aah’ meant, and opted for repeating the sound like a child does when learning a new word. This was exactly what Genesis had hoped for, taking the gifted opportunity to shove a cream-covered finger into Cloud’s mouth. 

Blue eyes opened impossibly wide, but pink lips closed around the appendage instinctually. Genesis felt the danger of teeth pressing into his skin, but thankfully, Cloud seemed to realize the sweet flavor pouring over his tongue. He still looked a bit disgruntled by the unwelcome action, but swallowed the dessert anyways. 

“I need you to pick a filling. I made two, but I’m not sure which would be more to your liking.” Genesis stated, trying to ignore the sweep of a velvety tongue as he removed his finger from Cloud’s mouth. “The one I just gave you is strawberry flavored, and this one is plain. I didn’t put too much sugar in, because most of the sweetness comes from the fruit. It’s supposed to be a more refreshing dessert than a cavity inducing one.” The redhead explained further, gathering up some of the white cream on his finger this time. 

Cloud watched him warily, clearly worried Genesis was just going to shove his finger in his mouth again. This time, though, the SOLDIER was going to try and get the grouchy blonde to come to him. It was a test of comfort, as much as it was a test of receptiveness. 

“Here,” Genesis offered up the thick cream, which was the consistency of a slightly thinner whipped cream. It was thick enough that it wasn’t runny, but thin enough that it was smooth, and rich. 

Cloud’s gaze shifted between the cream-covered finger, and Genesis’s face. He appeared terribly unsure of himself, making no movements forwards, or backwards. 

Maybe the blonde wasn’t the type to take initiative -- maybe he needed to be guided. Going off this guess, Genesis chanced the first strong command he’d ever uttered to Cloud. 

“Open, Cloud,” he ordered, bringing his finger up to slightly parted lips. If the younger male did as Genesis told him, and opened his mouth, then it was safe to assume he was relatively comfortable with the SOLDIER. It would also give the redhead his answer, about whether Cloud was a commander, or the commanded. 

He almost gave up when Cloud remained still -- almost -- but just as he was about to apologize and pull back, those pink lips slowly opened. The blonde still looked very unsure about himself, and probably unsure as to why he was actually doing what Genesis told him to. Behind all of that uncertainty, however, was the smallest glimmer of something else. A look Genesis never thought he’d see cast towards him from Cloud. 

Faith. 

It wasn’t genuine trust -- trust that would allow the blonde to fully open himself up. But it was a faith that said he trusted Genesis enough not to cause him harm, nor take advantage of him. 

Chest swelling heatedly to almost uncomfortable levels, Genesis wasted no time in pressing the second serving of cream onto Cloud’s tongue. The whole interaction lasted for a few seconds, but it had felt like days to the two involved. He had to suppress the urge to praise Cloud like he might with Zack, knowing that extra pressure would only cause the blonde to retreat. This was more than good enough for now, and paved the way for Genesis to keep pushing further in the future. 

“The second one,” Cloud decided, his voice raspy, and little more than a whisper. 

Genesis smiled warmly, the soft words giving him the chance to offer a more subtle praise. One where Cloud would have no real understanding of what he was receiving, but would no doubt have a good effect on both of them. 

“Good choice,” he commended, before moving to pour the white cream into the tart crust, but not before mixing in some fresh fruit. It was a fruit tart, after all, and would be incomplete without it. 

“Oh and, Cloud,” the redhead began, licking his own fingers clean of a small amount of cream, which had leaked out while he was transferring it. 

“Hm?” The younger male cast him a questioning look, his face more relaxed, and expressive than Genesis could remember seeing. 

“In case you weren’t aware, that was an expression of affection, and you accepted it,” Genesis vindicated, his words holding none of its usual cockiness. On the contrary, it was terribly sweet, and gentle. 

Cloud didn’t reply this time, but he didn’t need to, because they both knew Genesis was right. And though Cloud would never admit it outloud, he couldn’t deny a glaring fact -- he felt good.

\--------------------

Hojo read over the letter he’d received from Hollander for, what felt like, the fiftieth time.

“Now this truly is intriguing, isn’t it?” He asked no one, his office as empty as his cold, hardened heart. 

He stared down at a naked picture of the blonde, one which his assistant had been forbidden to release due to patient confidentiality reasons. It was from when the blonde had first arrived, and had gone through his physical examination. The assistant, who was quite an esteemed doctor -- a praise Hojo didn’t give lightly -- had made a note about laceration scars. However, what the assistant failed to recognize, or rather, wouldn’t have been able to, was where those lacerations came from. 

The marks all over the blonde’s torso were unmistakable to him. After all, he had been the one to gift the current SOLDIER general his weapon. He would recognize the marks that blade left behind anywhere, even without seeing them in person. 

Sephiroth clearly had no recollection of the blonde, yet the mark of his blade was imprinted on pale flesh. There was no account of Cloud ever coming into contact with the silver-haired man, not from Sephiroth himself, nor any other man in Shinra’s army. Not a single soul recognized the small male, so how exactly was this possible? 

“What are your secrets, Cloud Strife? Every time I see you, I’m filled with even more questions, yet even more fascination. Your very existence is like fire in my veins, and a spark in my mind. Won’t you please spill for me? Give me a little glimpse inside?” He spoke to the picture, wishing the beautifully scarred body was on his medical table, rather than in the bed of Zack Fair. 

This new information both proved useful, and useless at the same time. Useful in that it would allow him to potentially uncover more in the future, useless because he had no idea what to do with it at the current time. He couldn’t even get the blonde down into his lab for a routine checkup, as apparently Fair had set Cloud up with his own private medical official. The “Shinra Puppy,” was clearly much smarter than many gave him credit for. 

Hojo tossed his head back in a bout of manic laughter, the letter from Hollander slipping from his hands. He brought fingers up to grasp at the sides of his heads, and pull on the tendrils of hair that had slipped from his ponytail. 

“Alas, I am at a loss! How exciting, I haven’t had this level of thrill hunting down a specimen in a while!” He shouted up to the ceiling, shivers wracking through his body, and tears streaming from the corners of his eyes. He moaned after that, a deep, hissing moan, that would make anyone cringe from the sound. “I love our games, Cloud, but have mercy and throw this old scientist a bone.” 

Suddenly, as if lightning had struck the man’s bony body, Hojo righted himself in his chair. He stood up quickly, and strode out of his office, the door slamming open with a loud crack. His movement down the hall was quick, and forceful, causing many of his assistants to dodge out of his way. 

When he made it to his destination -- one of many labs where an experiment laid, crying, strapped to the metal expanse of the table -- he searched for the person he wished to speak to. His eyes fell upon the form of Ark, the very doctor he had been praising just moments before. 

The young man, only 31 years of age, looked up from the flasks of chemicals he tended to. His eyes were ever impassive, and unrevealing, despite listening to the sobs and pleas from the specimen who laid a few feet away. Ark’s features were narrow, and sleek. His hair was white, and his eyes shined a brilliant shade of violet. His eyes were slanted on his head, much like a fox, with a great talent for sight. This boy had been an experiment of his own birthing a long time ago, and the results bore him the best assistant he’d ever had in this talentless place. 

“Ark, my boy, I have a very important task for you,” Hojo bellowed excitedly, getting a tired look from the younger scientist in return. 

“Why not send Kavery to do it? I know he’s just dying to lick your boots, professor,” Ark replied, but turned around in his swiveling stool anyways. 

“I’m afraid you are the only one with the ability to accomplish this assignment, as it will require the utmost precision,” Hojo pressed, not at all perturbed by the man’s standoffish behavior. He was quite used to the foul mood of Ark by now, as the boy's attitude was always accepted in stride, so long as he did his job. 

“What is this oh-so-important task you’ve decided to give me, as if I’m not already swamped with work from you. Managing your labs is not as easy as you might suspect, sir,” the ‘sir’ was packed full of venom. 

The malice cast in Hojo’s direction was met with a sinister smirk. 

“I need you to make a phone call for me, you know who to contact, but it is important you are insistent, and sound concerned. Say you are worried about some of the scar tissue on Strife’s body, that some of it may have become cancerous. Use this leverage to request a skin biopsy, and insist that it is urgent, otherwise you wouldn’t have called so suddenly. Once you have it, you are to bring it directly to me. Can I trust you with this?” Hojo explained exactly what he needed the white-haired male to do carefully. 

“A skin biopsy? Why in Gaia’s name would we need that?” Ark asked, not even questioning how the scientist knew of the scars that riddled Cloud’s body, but Hojo had already turned on his heels to leave. 

The professor waved a hand over his head, dismissing the question with a single remark. 

“Cell research,” he called out, making his way to the break room at the end of the hall. 

A nice cup of coffee would help quell his impatience, and keep him awake for the events he so desperately wanted to watch unfold.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shot in the Dark by: Within Temptation


	13. One more night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud answers the door to a creepy doctor, who is insistent on performing a "five minute test," on the blonde. He concedes, but Zack, he is not very pleased by the end of things. Genesis, while teaching an introductory class on materia, has an interesting revelation, that might just put him at the front of the pack. Angeal shows up at Zack's house, and ends up startling a sleeping Cloud, who ends up in the middle of a PTSD episode. After Cloud calms down, he is still on edge and throws more than a few hateful words at Zack, prompting a scolding from Angeal. Sephiroth reviews a notice about strange happenings in another reactor, and, as a result, begins to plan his first excursion with Cloud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gotta be honest, I experienced a bit of writers block when producing this one, so I'm not completely sure how it turned out. I hope you guys like it, but if not, I'm sorry! Zack and Angeal will reveal their more domineering sides to Cloud, which ends up giving Cloud a bit of emotional whiplash. I knew the effect I was trying to produce, but it was a bit hard to type it out this time *sighs*.
> 
> Really quickly, a friend of mine who is reading this story asked me a question the other day, and I realized some other people may be wondering the same (maybe, not really sure). And that question was "why didn't you make this a/b/o dynamics because of the D/s themes?" Well, the answer to that is very simple, I wanted this to be closer to the FF7 world, and not getting into tropes like that. This was supposed to be focussing on Cloud as he battles his mental problems, and builds a relationship with the others, and I felt a/b/o might take away from that main focus. Not to mention D/s dynamics are a real world thing, and I wanted to kinda shine a little spotlight on that in this story. :)
> 
> HOWEVER! I am about to post a new fic, that will be Cloud/Zack (Clack!!:) and it WILL contain a/b/o dynamics. So if you're interested, keep an eye out. I am not a huge fan of being too mainstream, so this story I am making will be set in a fantasy/mythological world of human (but not so human) characters. It sounds weird... I know. :'D but I really am proud of the plan I have made, so hopefully a few of you will check it out. 
> 
> **WARNINGS: D/s themes (Zack and Angeal begin exercising some of their dominant sides over Cloud), Dissociation PTSD episode**
> 
> Thanks everyone!! :)

Fight for your life

for your right

Are you afraid to die?

Is there fear deep inside?

Just hang on one more night

I'll be there, by your side

There's no hope in suicide

So hang on for your life

Just hang on one more night

\------------------------

A knock at Zack’s door billowed out through the apartment. The first knock, Cloud ignored, on the second knock, he stood up from where he’d been watching T.V. on the couch. Upon the third knock, he was beginning to get annoyed. 

“I’m coming!” He shouted out in his aggravation, grumbling under his breath about it not even being his house. 

Zack must still be asleep. Genesis said he was worn out, but he must be completely enervated if he was able to sleep through this annoying pounding on his front door. It also begged the question, though, about what Zack was doing during his short nap. Maybe he got called out for a quick job?

Grunting, Cloud finally made it to the door, and swung it open with an angry glare. He’d expected to find himself yelling at the annoying face of Genesis, Angeal, or hell, even Sephiroth. He hadn’t expected to be greeted with a strange looking man in a white coat. He carried a case with him, and a stethoscope dangled around his neck.

A doctor. 

Well, fuck this. If there was one thing Cloud hated above all else, it was anyone in the medical field. The man with white hair, and strangely slanted, violet eyes smiled down at him, before opening his mouth to begin saying something. Cloud didn’t even give him the chance, though, and opted for slamming the door in his face. 

A choked up sound reverberated from behind the metal, making Cloud smile with satisfaction. He went back to sitting on his sofa, and trying his best to ignore the insistent knocks that continued. Soon, the knocks began turning into garbled shouts, slowly pounding on Cloud’s last nerve. 

“Hello, I’m from the Shinra medical facilities, I must insist we speak, Mr. Strife!” The man hollered, all while continuing to beat his fist against the door. 

“Damn persistent,” the blonde growled, as he tore himself from his comfortable seat yet again. 

This time, when he opened the door, he had to restrain himself from punching the aggravating pest square in the jaw. 

“What the hell do you want!?” He shouted, not missing the way the other man’s fingers tightened on the case he carried. 

‘Good, he better be scared, I have half a mind to toss him to the curb,’ Cloud thought to himself, his eyes narrowing at the white-haired man even further. 

“I apologize for bothering you this morning Mr. Strife, but it was important that I came to speak with you,” the man began. His face contorted into a smile, which normally would have set someone’s nerves at ease. However, the sly way his lips turned up on his face, as he bared straight teeth, and sharp incisors, unnerved Cloud. 

“Who even are you?” Cloud asked, sounding more drained than angry at this point. 

“That’s a good question,” a deep voice echoed out behind Cloud, before a muscled arm came around the blonde. 

The palm of their new company pressed against the frame of the door, and Cloud could feel the heat of someone pressing eerily close behind him. He felt caged, but, strangely, rather than feeling distressed about it, the familiar smell that assaulted his senses soothed him. 

“Mr. Fair--” the fox-like man’s voice suddenly grew a bit strained when he addressed Zack. He still kept that same, unsettling smile, but now you could visibly make out stress lines pressing into his forehead. 

“This is my home. Because of you, I’m now awake, and not in a very good mood. The least you can do is introduce yourself to me, and stop harassing my guest,” Zack chastised, his voice deep, and airing on the edge of dangerous. 

Zack obviously didn’t trust this man, and that fact helped to validate Cloud’s own worries. Cloud could count on his hands the number of times he’d heard Zack so… was angry the right word? The emotion by the words sounded a bit off from anger, but was no less threatening. It was strange to see his best friend do a complete one-eighty from his normally overly kind, happy attitude. 

“Of course, sir. I didn’t mean to impose, so please forgive me for my intrusion this morning. My name is Doctor Ark -- I am the medical professional who was responsible for Mr. Strife’s evaluation when he first arrived. May I?” The man, Ark, gestured his hand to the inside of Zack’s apartment in askance. 

“You may not. I’ve been taking care of Cloud, and, as you can see, he is doing pretty good as far as I’m concerned. I’m sure your supervisors let you know he is no longer under the medical attention of Shinra’s staff.” The presence behind Cloud grew even more dark, and Cloud could practically feel his back melting with the heat of Zack’s form. 

And even still, the blonde felt more at ease by the force of his friend than he felt worried.

“Yes, I’ve been informed, however, I received back some concerning results from one of the tests. I figured it prudent that I come by, just to make sure the readings are not anything to be overly worried about,” Ark explained. 

Sharp, violet eyes never left Zack’s rapidly darkening one’s making Cloud swallow saliva that had gotten caught in his throat. 

“What kind of ‘concerning results,’ or, better yet, what kind of test?” Zack quizzed further, making no movements to back down. 

“I’m sure you understand, the remarkably swift healing abilities of many enhanced individuals, with whom mako does not always agree with, can lead to some anomalies during the healing process itself. I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but Mr. Strife has extensive amounts of scar tissue on his abdomen. The results I received indicated some potentially dangerous cell growths, put there by the body trying to overcompensate for the old injury.” Ark looked like he was struggling to find the words, even as they fell from his mouth smooth like water. 

“Look, buddy, I don’t understand any of that medical stuff, I’m going to need you to speak human, please,” Zack grouched, his fingers pressing harder into the cold metal of the doorframe. 

“I’m talking about cancerous cells, Mr. Fair. It is not uncommon for people like Mr. Strife to end up with something like this as a result of too much scar tissue. It is probably nothing to be too concerned about, however, it is important to catch these things early to alleviate the chance of the bad cells spreading. I only need about five minutes of your time, long enough to examine the area, and get a small sample.” The doctor urged, clearly hell bent on staying until he got his way. 

“And do you have the authority, given Cloud’s current medical arrangements, to be overseeing this?” Zack inquired, his gaze calculating. 

“Wait,” Cloud interjected, something akin to a bitter laugh lacing into his words. “You think I could have cancer, seriously?” Though Cloud wasn’t smiling, the icy humor was all too thick with his disbelief. 

“Is that so hard to believe?” The doctor inquired, tilting his head to the side as he regarded Cloud with curious eyes. 

‘Ha! You have no idea,’ Cloud thought to himself, the very thought of him having something as mundane as cancer unbelievable at its best. He stilled himself though, knowing he was trying to keep a low profile. If he came out and said there was no way in hell the cells he carried would allow cancer to settle in, it would raise too many questions. If this man really was a lackey of the labs, that meant he was Hojo’s underling and not to be trusted. 

“It’s… shocking,” Cloud supplied the word, even as he knew it wasn’t exactly the correct term for the impossibility alone.

“Look, can’t it wait long enough for me to get a hold of our private physician? If he’s been fine this long, then I doubt an extra day or two would be a big deal.” Zack was trying to be polite, Cloud could tell, but the black-haired man’s instincts rang true. He knew it was a mistake to put any fair in the medical staff offered by Shinra. 

“As I said, I really must insist. I would hate for something… unfortunate to happen because you wouldn’t humor me for five simple minutes.”

Was that… a threat? 

Cloud couldn’t tell, but something about those words set warning bells off in his head. Was this man threatening him, or could he be threatening Zack? The very thought of his friend being put in harm's way because of Cloud’s stubbornness caused the blonde’s throat to tighten painfully. His breaths felt forced, as a heavy weight seemed to settle on his chest like the tide bearing down on a beach. 

He didn’t want this doctor, or any doctor for that matter, within fifty feet of him. If allowing one test would satiate whatever curiosity the man had for the time being though, then it was a necessary sacrifice. 

‘For Zack’s sake. I have to protect Zack.’

“Five minutes, one test,” Cloud confirmed. There was no question in his voice, and his tone said he would be paying very close attention to the clock. 

“Of course, I am a man of my word if nothing else, Mr. Strife,” the fox-eyed man placed a hand on his chest as he spoke, as if swearing on some unspoken code of honor. 

There was no deceit that Cloud could detect, but that still didn’t make him feel any relief when he thought of what was to come. 

“Wah, Cloud! You don’t have to do this, I can call for someone… else.” Zack was clearly displeased with this decision, his gaze flitting aggressively back and forth between Ark and Cloud. 

“It’s just five minutes Zack, I’ll be fine,” Cloud tried to comfort, though his voice came out stiff, and coarse. He wasn’t capable of comforting himself most days, let alone another, but he did make an effort. 

Zack was silent for a minute, as many emotions passed through his eyes: concern, frustration, distrust, until it finally settled on one. 

Resolve.

“Fine, but I’m going to be there during this ‘one test,’” Zack stated, his back straightening even as his body still loomed confidently over Cloud’s smaller frame. 

“No, I’m--” Cloud began, but was quickly cut off by the black-haired man’s hard gaze. 

“This is not up for discussion, Cloud, either this test is done with me there, or it’s not done at all, your call,” Zack held his ground. 

This was a new side to his friend that Cloud was slowly having to adjust himself to. Perhaps it wasn’t all that new though. Zack had always been very observant of Cloud’s well being, from the time the blonde was a cadet, to the days where he dragged his half-dead body around Gaia. However, this somehow felt different from those friendly concerns the older harbored years ago. There was something a bit more… Cloud couldn’t really place a word for it, but the feeling he got was much stronger, and harder. 

Cloud inhaled through his nerves, making sure to keep his face a blank slate. He grunted, not outright replying to Zack’s set condition, but his gesturing of the doctor into the apartment was answer enough. 

“Thank you,” Ark muttered politely, before following closely behind the blonde. 

They made for the living space, but the doctor clearing his throat had the other two turning to face him. Both Cloud and Zack wore equally annoyed expressions that just screamed “what now?”

“Perhaps this would be more comfortably done in a better setting, a bed, perhaps? The test isn’t overly invasive or painful, but it is rather uncomfortable,” the white-haired man supplied, though his eyes were on Cloud alone. 

Cloud already had a hard enough time ignoring the memories that already surrounded his room in Zack’s apartment. His first recollection of laying in that bed had been tinged with the bitter taste of fear and anger. He’d just barely found himself adjusting enough to sleep in it with relative calm, and wasn’t keen on the idea of adding more discomfort to the only private space he had. 

As if reading Cloud’s thoughts, Zack wrapped a hand under the blonde’s elbow, and gave him a reassuring smile. It was one that had two meanings “don’t worry,” and “It’s not too late to back out.”

“We can use my room,” Zack affirmed, his smiled meant for Cloud only, as he turned cold eyes back to the doctor. 

‘No. No, no, no that was WORSE,’ Cloud thought with panic. He’d been avoiding the black-haired man’s room up until this point for a reason. To be in the space sounded challenging enough, but to be laying on the SOLDIER’s bed… The material was no doubt absolutely drenched in Zack’s heavy scent. He was sure that, mixed with the foreboding touch of the doctor, would overwhelm him in seconds. 

“Wherever my patient is most comfortable,” Ark bowed his head politely, though his eyes said he KNEW. 

He knew how uncomfortable Cloud had suddenly become at the mention of the black-haired man’s room. He knew Cloud was extremely uncomfortable with his very presence. Yet he also knew Cloud wouldn’t do anything to speak up against either. 

He was trapped. 

Cloud had to force himself to keep his breathing level in his chest, knowing Zack would pick up on his distress immediately if he heard the blonde panting. If that happened, Cloud had no doubt Ark would be sent away, and then the younger would have to suffer fearing for his friend’s safety. 

Composing himself, Cloud gave a curt nod, before following Zack’s lead to his bedroom. The closed door was like a cold, dark wall of ice, which promised him so much misery. 

He couldn’t back down though, he had to stay firm. No fear. No tears. No emotion. 

A blank slate -- that is what he must become in order to stay sane. 

Cloud was assaulted by Zack’s musky, sweet scent as soon as he stepped over the threshold into the space. He had to resist the urge to cover his nose with his palm, and instead tried his best to subtly breathe through his mouth. 

Ark followed in closely behind them, quickly making himself at home as he set his medical bag on Zack’s nightstand. He barely cast a glance over his shoulder when he gestured for Cloud to lay atop the bed. 

The blonde swallowed heavily, suddenly feeling like there was not only limited oxygen, but also rather parched. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth like glue, and his lips felt like rubber with the way they tried to curl back from his teeth. 

“You okay, Spike?” A deep, husky voice whispered into his ear, making him jolt out of his apprehensive stupor. 

He couldn’t form words, even if he wanted to, but he did manage to nod in an attempt at dousing Zack’s worries. It felt like weights had been strapped to his ankles when he left the comfort of his friend’s heat behind him. He felt cold, and vulnerable, and it disgusted him. 

‘Coward’ the voice in his head whispered while he slowly neared the edge of the mattress. 

‘Weak’ it growled as he sat down with trembling legs. He clasped one of his hands around his thigh in a claw-like grip, trying to ignore the way his vision swam. 

‘Worthless’ it finally stated, just barely above a whisper, but that hushed mesh of letters carried more weight than the other two almost-wails combined.

His back came to settle on the mattress, his spine as stiff as a board when the doctor leaned over him. A hand was placed on his shoulder, and if Cloud hadn’t been so on edge, it might have seemed reassuring. But he could sense it for what it truly was -- a reminder. A reminder that there was no escaping his fears, weaknesses, and lack of worth. 

“Alright, I’m going to lift your shirt up a bit, just to gain access to the scarred areas on your lower abdomen,” Ark warned, his tone all business with little remorse. 

Cloud didn’t reply, but he knew he didn’t have to, since the doctor was going to do what he wanted regardless of Cloud’s trepidation. 

“Keep your fingers where they need to be, and not anywhere else,” Zack’s voice grumbled across the room. 

The sudden sound of it had Cloud taking a sharp intake of breath through his nose, causing his sinuses to be flooded. He intook the strong scents of musk, cedar, and the sweetness he now identified as being very similar to honey. Honey that was born from the middle of spring, warm, enchanting, and heavily floral. His mind went fuzzy for a few, long seconds as the aroma rolled over him in waves. It was dizzying, and made his body go limp almost immediately. 

Unfortunately, the white-haired doctor towering over him took this as a sign that he’d finally relaxed enough to proceed. His mistake was realized instantly. 

As soon as he grasped the edge of Cloud’s shirt, and pulled it up over smooth plains of lean muscle, a pale hand latched around his wrist in an unyieldingly tight grip. 

There was the sound of a hiccuped breath, but nothing more came out of the doctor’s mouth to reveal the pain those constricting fingers brought. For every ounce of tightness Cloud felt in his throat, the grip of his hand on the slim wrist was all the more crushing. 

“Mr. Strife,” Ark began, his words coming out choked with the strain it took him to ignore the pain. “I need you to release my hand if we are to get this done within your five minute time limit.”

‘Time limit? Oh, that’s right. One test. Five minutes. That was the deal.’ Cloud internally reminded himself, though it still took a moment for him to will his fingers to release their hold. 

With his limb now freed, Ark made sure to continue on a bit more carefully, now knowing just how unstable his patient was. If the white-haired man wasn’t careful, he knew for certain his bone would be snapped in half the next time. 

Cloud chanced a glance up at his friend across the room. Zack was visibly fighting the urge to step in after witnessing the blonde’s clear discomfort. His form already stood much closer than it had before, his feet having carried him closer to the bed without his knowledge. His arms remained crossed over his chest, his knuckles whitening as he grasped onto the material of his shirt. 

Cloud wanted to try and comfort him, however, he was sure if he tried to talk right now it would come out a garbled mess. No, he did not trust his ability to articulate proper words with his mind reduced to mush from the strong scent, and fear. 

He WAS grateful for Zack’s presence in that moment though, as something in the back of his mind whispered that his friend would not let Ark do anything to harm him beyond repair. But that didn’t mean he liked this situation any more, it just meant he despised it a small fraction less. 

“Alright, Cloud,” Ark began, stating the blonde’s foremost name for the first time since their conversations began. 

It almost felt like the white-haired man was genuinely trying to sooth him. Cloud couldn’t let himself believe anyone who worked for a madman like Hojo had any sense of compassion for others though. Trust was dangerous. If misplaced, he wouldn’t find himself anywhere good, and he refused to relive any of the horrors in his past. It was much easier to pretend everyone was the enemy, this way he saved himself the disappointment when they ultimately betrayed him. 

“So, skin biopsies are nothing to get too worried over. I have this…” Ark held up a slim, metal device, which looked no longer than a pen in length, and had a cylindrical, hollow tip. “Punch tool. All that’s going to happen, is I’m going to use this to snatch up a bit of skin from the scar tissue on your abdomen. The pain is like a sharp pinch, but it fades quickly, and the bleeding will be minimal.” Ark finished explaining the process, but Cloud’s mind was already drifting. 

‘He’s going to cut me. He’s going to make me bleed,’ his mind went in all directions, and none of them were comforting. Cloud forced himself to stay still on the bed, even as he felt those hands pressing into the muscle between the slight ‘V’ indentions of his lower abdomen. He knew a very pronounced scar laid there, and feeling another touch it made a fiery burn spread over his skin. He hadn’t even realized how tightly he was gripping the sheets beneath him, nausea spilling into his gut at the disgusting feeling of another’s fingers on his body. This wasn’t someone he trusted, or anyone he had had the time to grow accustomed to being around. There was no reason this person should even be within a foot of him, yet it was happening still. This was someone who wanted to HURT him -- who wanted to cut the very flesh from his bones. 

“Deep breath,” the doctor instructed after sanitizing the area with iodine. 

Cloud could feel it now, the place where those fingers framed, the area where he’d soon be pierced. His breath was stuck in his throat, making it impossible to comply with Ark’s words. The backs of his clenched eyes burned, but he refused to allow any tears to fall. He would not give anyone the satisfaction of seeing his stained face. 

The first touch of the metal on his skin had his eyes flying open with panic. The mako in them stirred and swirled in a fury of power and emotion, while his muscles shifted under his skin. He wanted so badly to escape, to run away, or even to send the doctor flying for even daring to lay a finger on him. 

He felt everything with his hyper aware body -- the way the metal felt like liquid nitrogen and lava at the same time, the pressure of it pressing harder into his skin, and of course, the way it cut his flesh so easily. It sunk beneath several layers in, what seemed like, an agonizingly slow descent. He felt the twisting of it as it sliced the tissue free, and the way it pulled on his torn flesh when it began to slide back out. He felt the sudden rush of coldness when it was free, as the air around him began cooling his sticky blood. He. Felt. It. All. 

It was sickening, and awakened the side of himself he hated to acknowledge, the side that hungered for blood in return -- for compensation. Before he could give into the urges, a strong, muscled arm came into view. 

Zack grabbed the doctor’s wrist as he made to cover the bleeding area with gauze, his eyes sharp, and carrying a heavy warning: ‘touch him again, and you will regret it.’

It managed to pull Cloud from the panicked trance he had been under, and crushed those instinctual urges to fight back in an instant. Zack was protecting him. Zack wouldn’t let Ark near him again. 

“Our time is up, as I understand it, so I’ll see myself out then. Please make sure to clean, and bandage the wound so it doesn’t get infected,” Ark supplied. He pushed the sliver of Cloud’s bloody skin from the punching device, and into a slim sample tube. After the white-haired man made sure the container was safely sealed, he placed it, and the rest of his equipment back into his bag. 

“Thank you for your time,” he nodded to the two of them, casting Cloud one last calculating gaze, before he turned and left. 

As soon as the sound of the front door closing echoed in the apartment, Zack turned his undivided attention to Cloud. 

The blonde laid in his bed lifelessly, with his eyes staring straight ahead at the ceiling, his face pale, and a cold sweat glistening on his forehead. 

Zack immediately felt that surge of emotion inside of him again, which compelled him to comfort his ailing charge. Like this, Cloud just looked so small, fragile, and simply wounded. The blonde was his responsibility, and he had allowed a stranger to pretty much cut a hole into his stomach. Even with how awful that sounded alone, it was only made much worse when he was reminded of Cloud’s hatred for physical contact. The whole ordeal must have been pure torture for the younger male, who didn’t even seem to be breathing. 

Actually… he wasn’t breathing. 

Zack acted quickly, knowing Cloud would hold his breath until he passed out if he didn’t pull the blonde from the haze he was in. He used a trick Angeal had used on him whenever he would wake up from nightmares, where his breathing was restricted. Placing his palm underneath Cloud’s neck in a loose grasp, he lifted up so that the man’s head tilted back. Then, with cautionary ease, he leaned in and blew softly on the blonde’s face. This was a method often used on children who cried so hard that they stopped breathing. It was simple, and a little strange, but he knew from experience that it worked. 

As if his head had broken through the surface of an expanse of deep water, Cloud’s chest seized upwards. The sound of the large gasp of air was like a shuddery wheeze in the otherwise quiet room. 

“There ya go Cloudy, you’re alright, in and out slowly,” Zack whispered the soft reassurances, even after Cloud’s face contorted into that of clear displeasure. 

“I’m fine,” Cloud argued after catching his breath. The blonde tried to break free of the hold Zack had on him, but the black-haired man was having none of it. 

“You are so not fine, you’re freaked out, and need to stay lying down. Stop worrying about saving face for a goddamn minute and let me take care of you,” Zack spoke sternly. His first sentence had come out gently, but the second one carried a hint of authority, and clear irritation. 

“I don’t NEED to be taken care of, Zack, I just needed a moment to relax, and now I am, so I’m fine,” Cloud protested further. The blonde hated relying on anyone, and he was expressing an amount of weakness right now that made him feel angry. He wasn’t just angry at his own shortcoming though, he was ALSO upset that ZACK was upset BECAUSE of him. 

Cloud was quick to tear himself from the SOLDIER’s grip, and moved as fast as he could on his shaky legs to the doorway. Just as he was about to head to his own room, however, he was stopped dead in his tracks by one word from Zack. 

“Stop,” the black-haired man commanded, his voice hard, and unyielding. 

Cloud did just that, his entire body freezing as if a spell had been put on him. It felt like if he dared to take another step forward, he’d regret it. It didn’t terrify him like it should have, but it did make his chest swell with foreign feelings. 

“Come here, Cloud,” Zack instructed in that same tone, which left absolutely no room for debate. 

Cloud found his body moving on it’s own, his breath shuddering when he turned to face Zack.

The older man still stood where he had been next to the bed before Cloud had gotten up, though his form was now set completely differently. His shoulders were taught, and squared, making him look even larger than he already was. His eyes were still the kind orbs of dark-blue the blonde remembered, but there was a distinct hardness in them now. Zack’s head was held high, his chin upturned a bit with authority as he pointed to the floor in front of him. 

“Now,” the black-haired man pressed when Cloud still didn’t make any movements closer. 

Once again, the younger man’s body moved of its own volition, his heart thrumming in his aching chest. He felt… bad, somehow. It was almost as if he’d violated some unspoken rule, and guilt ate at his gut in a way he hadn’t felt in a while. With each step closer he got to Zack, the worse the feeling became, until he was standing exactly where the man was pointing. He looked up through his lashes at the SOLDIER, who suddenly seemed so much taller. 

“Since you clearly have no worries for your own wellbeing, I want you to listen to me very carefully. You are going to lay in this bed, you are going to do as I say, and you are not to move. Do you understand what I am telling you, Cloud?” Zack asked, his voice growing a little softer when he uttered the blonde’s name. 

For a long moment, Cloud couldn’t bring himself to reply, too stunned by this new side of Zack to articulate any words. Though the taller man’s eyes bore into him intensely, he waited patiently for the blonde to speak. 

“Okay--” Cloud’s breath once again got caught in his throat, his voice sounding weak, and yielding to his own ears. 

This wasn’t like him. He was a warrior -- a man who decided his own actions. Yet when he looked up into Zack’s intense gaze, Cloud suddenly felt compelled to do anything the man told him to. He was pretty sure, in that moment, that if Zack had told him to do a handstand and drink a glass of milk at the same time, he’d ask “whole milk or fat free?” 

It was a strange, foreign feeling, but something about giving up this little sliver of control felt… no, he dare not say it. This was a one time thing. He’d humor Zack just this once, and then go back to doing things for himself as he pleased. 

A small smirk curved on Zack’s lips when Cloud relented, before the black-haired man reached up and ruffled blonde spikes. The atmosphere was completely different from how it had been just seconds before, as the pressure from their intense exchange eased up. 

“Good,” Zack chirped happily through his, now blinding, smile, his hands soon guiding Cloud to lay back on the bed. 

The scent of the room still tickled at the younger man’s nose, but it was much more soothing than it was overwhelming now. The surrounding familiarity of the musky-sweet aroma was like a warm blanket being draped over his exhausted body. It beckoned him further into the comforting confines of the sheets, making Cloud have to fight the urge to pull the edge of the soft material to his face. 

Zack did a once over, before nodding to himself approvingly, and laying a gentle hand on where Cloud’s knee was under the blankets. 

“Alrighty then, that’s better, Ang is supposed to be here really soon to hang out since all that stuff with Junon has kept him busy the past couple days. So I’ll get him to cook something yummy for us,” Zack winked, before heading to the entrance of the room. He turned back around just before exiting, and cast a calm glance over Cloud’s form once more. “Remember, don’t move from that bed. I’ll be back in just a bit with some bandages to cover up your wound,” Zack warned, though there wasn’t any anger, or bitterness in his voice. It was almost velvety with the calming way it washed over the blonde. 

Cloud found he could do nothing more than nod absently, and lay back on the bad as all tension left his muscles. Maybe it wasn’t so bad being doted on every once in a while, even if it hurt his pride a little. 

\-----------------------

“The opportunity to use summoning materia is something every SOLDIER may try, but few will succeed, and even fewer will master it.” Genesis wrote on the board up front as he spoke to the lecture hall of third class SOLDIERs. 

At the top of the board sat the name of the course, ‘Basics of Material Usage in Battle’ aka ‘MAT 120.’ It was a mandatory course for all new SOLDIERs, and one Genesis always found he either loved or hated. It all depended on the class, and their receptiveness to his teachings. Some groups would hold a gem just waiting to be polished, while others were just full of wannabe heroes with no actual talent -- those who would never see themselves being promoted beyond third. 

He continued his writing while lost in thought, the words ‘types of summonings and their usages,’ being scrawled out mindlessly. 

“It is my job, in this class at least, to introduce you to all types of materia, but it is not my job to hold your hand. You are all SOLDIERs now, meaning you have all received the enhancements necessary for your protection, and the protection of others. However, do not allow your heads to swell with those words, because it will surely lead to your fall from grace. Look to me as your guide, but do not look to me as your friend who is going to go drinking with you on Saturdays, nor your safety net to catch you when you fall. Let me make this quite clear here and now, if you fall going forwards, you will die.” Genesis finished, punctuating his words by tapping the pen harshly against the board, drawing a dramatic period. 

He looked on with satisfaction at the traces of fear in young eyes around him. Some students fidgeted nervously in their seats: tugging at their collars, playing with the ends of their hair, or rubbing their legs together under the desk. Only a couple sat their plainly, no movements or emotions to reveal their innermost thoughts. Time would tell if those were the few who had potential, or were just too cocky for their own good. 

Out of every new group of SOLDIERs, only a handful would be promoted to second, and hardly any -- the rare talents -- would don the uniform of a first class. Many of the students who sat before him would die on the field in their first year, so naturally, it was his job to use fear to try and spare the lives of the foolish. The purpose of these introductory courses was as much to figure out where the new recruits talents lied, as much as it was a means of whittling out the weak of body and mind. 

And oh how Genesis took pleasure. 

A smirk played on his lips as he let the weight of his words sink in, before he opened his mouth to balance their harshness with reassurance. 

“Rest assured, if you follow my guidance properly, it will soon be revealed who deserves to be here, and who does not. Those of you who have talent, and pay attention to my lessons will no doubt thrive here at Shinra. Those of you who don’t, well, I implore you to leave of your own volition in the future. At the end of the course period, I will sit down in individual meetings with you all, and will give you an honest evaluation based on what I’ve seen in this semester.”

“Materia usage is a basic fundamental of any SOLDIER, and you must be able to cast a cure, at the very least, for yourself and your comrades, should injury befall you. For those of you who cannot cast anything by the time our meetings roll around, I’m sure you’ll know what my words will be. For those of you who can cast decently enough to scrape by, it is unlikely that you will ever rise in the ranks. And for those of you who show promise, I will put in a good word. My praise does not come easily, though, and I will be watching each and every one of you for both your strengths, and shortcomings.” His introductory speech came to a close, and Genesis took in the head bobs, and the few mutterings of “yes sir,” that swept throughout the classroom. 

“Good, now that we understand each other, who can tell me how many levels a summon materia has?” He asked, receiving blank stares in return. Genesis scoffed and rolled his eyes, his hand hovering over the board as he waited for someone to at least take a guess. “Come on, one of you has to know, or at least have the courage to guess a number,” he pushed. 

Finally, a short, black-haired man in the back raised his hand rather timidly. Genesis nodded at him, fingers more firmly grasping the pen he held poised over the board. 

“There are five levels, sir,” he answered, his voice shaking a little under the attention. 

“Correct,” Genesis praised, ignoring the boy’s clear self confidence issues for the time being. 

“Each summon can be brought to max level five, with the exception of a master summoning, though I do not anticipate many of you ever handling one of those. They all follow the rules of elemental properties binded to a single entity, and should be used to exploit the enemies own elemental weakness. For example, you would not summon Shiva to fight against a cerulean drake, as ice will do hardly any damage against it. You might, however, find yourself summoning Typhon, whose wind abilities will weaken your opponent significantly. This is, of course, just an example, as I hope you all could manage yourselves against such a weak enemy without the help of a summon.” Genesis scrawled the information on the board, listening to the sounds of pencils running over paper throughout the room. 

His hand suddenly froze midway through, as a thought occurred to him out of the blue. The redhead would be lying if he said his thoughts hadn’t been consumed by a certain blonde as of late. He had been wracking his brain with ways he could not only get closer to Cloud, but also unravel some of the younger man’s secrets as well. He figured the two were separate entities at this point, but maybe they were one in the same, and could be approached the same way. 

His own lectured words echoed in his head. What if they all had been going about this in the wrong way? You wouldn’t use fire against an enemy who was resilient to fire. Similarly, you wouldn’t uncover another being’s secrets while being secretive yourself. They all wanted to get to know Cloud better, and seeked to help understand him and his inner demons. But they were all blind to the fact that they hadn’t been trying to give anything in return. 

Genesis was reminded of the other night when he and Cloud had baked together. The blonde had opened up and shared a bit about his mother’s death, and a friend of his who he seemed to treasure. Genesis had shared information in return, and that seemed to have been a turning point in their conversation. Cloud had been significantly more relaxed after the exchange, enough to even allow Genesis’s touch. 

Opposite poles connected. In other words, they had to give in order to earn the right to gain. That was why Cloud had opened up so much faster to Zack, because from their first encounter, the two had exchanged information on equal grounds. It was all simple, and borderline foolish gab -- favorite colors, favorite snacks -- but the key component is it was MUTUALITY. Mutual understanding. Mutual respect. It was in a SOLDIER’s nature to be closed off, a characteristic bred by an innate fear that information could lead to exploitation. They had all been keeping Cloud at an arm's distance, without even realizing it. It was almost like trying to pull someone closer, while a stone wall was laid between them and yourself. 

Seph had been right about half of it -- Gaining trust did lead to gaining knowledge -- but it was not just trust that was needed. They also needed that equal footing, that level playing field, that fair exchange, in order to truly begin forming bridges between themselves and Cloud. 

Placing the pen down in the tray after quickly scribbling out the rest of the information, Genesis turned to regard his class with an impassive look. 

“I believe that’s a good enough start for now, remember your required readings, and I’ll see you all back in here on Wednesday,” Genesis rushed out. The redhead grabbed his coat from the back of the desk chair at the front of the room. “Class dismissed,” he announced, before stalking out the door without even waiting to see if his students had questions for him. 

He had just uncovered a curious revelation, and wanted to think about how to put it to the test. If he shared something personal with Cloud, and the blonde opened up a bit in return, then maybe, just maybe, he will have found a way in. 

After all, a wall was only as strong as its weakest stone. All it took was a hard push to that delicate area, and the whole structure would come tumbling down. 

\---------------------  
Angeal rapped on the door to Zack’s apartment, trying his best to keep his posture from revealing how exhausted he was. He’d promised the younger SOLDIER that he’d come visit for a while, since the incident in Junon had been occupying all of his time. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be with his puppy, but he hadn’t even had the opportunity to sleep, let alone sit down and have small talk. 

He heard Zack coming before the door even opened, rolling his eyes at the ungraceful way in which the younger always moved. Stealth had never been Zack’s strong suit, which was why he was hardly ever assigned for infiltration missions. The black-haired man’s talents lied in what happened after the infiltration was a success, and brute force came into play. 

“Ang!” Zack smiled up at him with his eyes practically shining, his excitement at seeing Angeal obvious. 

Angeal smiled gently back down at the younger, using a curled forefinger to softly bump under Zack’s chin. 

“It’s good to see you too, Zack. How have you been?” The raven asked, all of his previous tensions leaving his body with Zack’s exuberance. 

Zack gestured to the inside of his apartment, leaving the door open as he walked back inside. Angeal followed the direction, and stepped over the threshold into the space, immediately assaulted by his lover’s scent. 

“I’ve been pretty good, though taking care of Cloudy is never without its challenges…” Zack paused his words, picking up a can of soda from the coffee table in the living room. He took two big gulps of the sugar-packed drink, before continuing. “One of Hojo’s lackeys decided to pay a visit today.”

Angeal’s head shot up at the mention of the twisted scientist, his eyes pinning Zack with a serious look.

“Hojo? I thought you said he wasn’t going to be a problem for us anymore? What was one of his assistants doing in your apartment? You didn’t let him near Cloud, I presume?” Angeal threw out the questions rapid fire, concern lacing his every word. 

“Woah, chill out Ang,” Zack’s brows pinched together as he tried to formulate words to answer all of his boyfriend’s inquiries. “He said they were worried about the scar tissue on Cloud’s abdomen, and it was important for him to get a sample. I wasn’t even the one who opened the door, otherwise I would have slammed it on his face before he got the chance to explain.”

“Cloud answered the door? Where were you?” Angeal pressed, his tone wasn’t angry, just confused, and a bit wary. 

“Yah, Cloud answered while I was sleeping. Gen and I uh -- hung out yesterday,” Zack’s cheeks were tinged with red, as he hoped the raven would understand what ‘hung out’ meant. “I tried to send him away, and explained Cloud wasn’t Shinra’s patient anymore, but Hojo’s rats are damn persistent. In the end, Cloud was the one who gave permission, so I wasn’t really left with a choice.”

“Of course you had a choice, Zack, this is your home, and Cloud is under your care,” Angeal deadpanned, his mouth set in a grim line. 

“Cloud is in my care, but he’s not my prisoner, Ang. He said he could handle it, so I let him make the decision for his own well being -- though I doubt I’ll be doing that again anytime soon,” Zack grumbled out the last part, crushing his, now empty, soda can in his fist. 

“Cloud has no regards for his self preservation in anything outside of combat, and I doubt he has any knowledge of what kind of man Hojo is. This should have been your call to make, not his,” Angeal chastised, though he decided to let things go for the time being. It was already done, and whining about it would accomplish nothing. “Where is Cloud, then? I want to examine this scar tissue. I’m no doctor, but I’ll be able to tell if there truly is something abnormal, or potentially dangerous about it.”

Angeal had seen all manner of wounds in his time at Shinra, including those that became infected, and those that didn’t heal properly. His guess was that the doctor had used some far-fetched claim in order to weasel his way in.

“He’s in my room, but hold on, there’s something else I should tell you,” Zack’s voice grew quieter, meaning whatever he was about to say he should have done so much sooner. 

“What did you do?” Angeal asked without a beat of hesitation. He was familiar with the younger SOLDIER’s antics by now, and always knew ‘I have something to tell you’ was a bad sign Zack had done something he probably shouldn’t have. 

“Well, when Cloud first got here, we all knew Hojo was already sniffing around too close. What I didn’t tell you guys, was he was trying to gain control over Cloud’s rehabilitation, and induction into Shinra. I tried to argue there was no one better to look after a future SOLDIER than another SOLDIER, but…” Zack trailed off because Angeal’s face was growing darker by the minute. 

“Zack, no. Please tell me you didn’t actually do what I think you did?” Angeal pleaded.

“I signed an accountability form for Cloud, putting me in charge of everything pertaining to him,” Zack finished, his voice much stricter now, with a tinge of pride. He stared up at Angeal, making sure the raven knew he wasn’t the least bit guilty about signing the papers, and he’d do it again if given the option. 

“It gives you the rights to Cloud, but it also makes you responsible for his actions!” Angeal whisper-yelled, not wanting the blonde to hear their conversation. 

“Yah, and I can keep a closer eye on him like this. Cloudy won’t do anything bad, and this is the only reason he’s in my bed right now, and not laying on some metal table downstairs. 

Angeal took a couple steps back, feeling things were getting a little heated. If they didn’t stop now, this would turn into a full blown argument. Not to mention, there was some validity in Zack’s claim. It seemed his puppy had been pushed between a rock and a hard place, and Angeal knew if he himself were given the choice, he’d have done the same. He just wished Zack hadn’t kept this from him and the others for so long. 

“Alright, there's no point in arguing about what’s already done. All we can do is damage control if things go south. I wanna see Cloud now,” Angeal consoled Zack, who already looked ready for a fight. 

The younger SOLDIER deflated at the calm words, before nodding his head and letting out a relieved sigh. 

“He was in rough shape when the doctor left, I literally had to force him to stay in bed,” Zack explained quietly, as he began leading the way to his bedroom. 

The black-haired man knocked on the door twice, before turning the handle and walking in. 

“Hey Spike! Angeal’s here to say hi.” Zack’s tone went cheerful in an instant upon regarding the blonde. However, he quieted down his tone immediately when he took in the soft snores coming from under the blankets. 

Cloud was tucked under the covers with nothing but his closed eyes, and golden hair peeking out. His features were relaxed, and his chest rose and fell softly with each breath. 

“Aw, he fell asleep,” Zack grumbled, seemingly disappointed. 

“It’s probably best for him to be asleep when I examine him anyways. It will mean less stress for the both of us,” Angeal concluded, before crossing over the room to where Cloud was resting. “You said the scars were on his abdomen?” Angeal quizzed, already carefully pulling the blankets back from Cloud’s form. 

“Yah, and the doctor cut out a sample from his lower stomach,” Zack cringed at the memory. 

Angeal hummed, making sure to keep his movements slow as he watched Cloud’s face for any signs of consciousness. He pushed the shirt up off the younger, all the way up to his neck, and took in the many scars littering Cloud’s body. It looked as if the blonde had been used as a combat dummy, the white marks angry against his smooth skin. 

A chill traced up the ravens spine, his brows furrowing as he traced his fingers over several scattered marks. 

Zack glanced back and forth between where Angeal’s fingers were running over the scars, and the older man’s face. 

“What? What’s wrong? Is there actually a health problem we should be concerned about?” Zack asked worriedly, his voice growing desperate the longer Angeal kept silent. 

Angeal shook his head, the pad of his thumb running over where Zack had bandaged the area the doctor had sampled. 

“No… there’s nothing medically wrong with him but--” Angeal trailed off, his voice sounding gravely. 

“But?” Zack urged, his own features pulled with anticipation. 

“I can’t place it, but I feel like I’ve seen these markings before. The scars left behind look so familiar -- I know what weapon caused them -- yet I can’t remember.” 

Just then, both of the men who had been leaning over the smaller form jumped. Thin fingers wrapped harshly around Angeal’s wrists, as angry blue eyes glared daggers at the raven in particular. 

“C-Cloud, it’s alright. Angeal was just making sure there was nothing wrong with you, so you can let go,” Zack’s nervous voice tried to sooth the blonde, whose grip looked painfully tight on Angeal’s wrist. 

Cloud seemed to ignore Zack completely, his eyes boring into Angeal’s own in a way that looked nothing like the blonde they knew. This was a dark, sinister glare, which promised agony and suffering to the one on the other end. 

“Hey… it’s gonna be fine, Cloud. I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I’ll move my hand now, if you’ll just release me,” Angeal tried, the ache in his wrist growing with each passing second. If he didn’t get Cloud to release him soon, then he’d probably be needing a cure. In fact, the raven was sure if he wasn’t enhanced, the appendage would have long since been snapped in two. 

“Never,” Cloud began, his eyes now looking like the blonde was having an internal battle for control. “Touch me while I’m sleeping,” the younger finished his warning darkly, finally prying his fingers from Angeal’s skin. 

Zack let out an audible sigh of relief when Angeal retracted his wrist into his chest. They both stared down into the darkness that had become Cloud’s eyes -- was this actually Cloud, though? 

Acting on instinct, Zack grabbed Angeal’s shoulders, and pulled him back a few steps from the bed. He didn’t want to offend the blonde, but everything in him was screaming at him to make sure he and his partner were out of the strike zone if Cloud lashed out. 

Cloud’s hand had remained suspended in air, his attention focused completely on the palm that had been holding Angeal’s wrist hostage seconds prior. Like a curious kitten, the younger man’s head cocked slightly to the side, as if he didn’t recognize his own limb. It was like Cloud was staring at an alien, rather than a part of himself, his fingers twitching curiously every once in a while. Blonde brows pressed together, before Cloud rested that palm against his head with a deep sigh. 

It was bazaar to say the least, almost like Cloud was reacquainting himself with the appendage. His eyes were closed over, the stress lines that had taken up residency on his face slowly smoothing out. When his lids finally drifted back open, they revealed two, bright blue irises where darkness had previously been. 

“M’sorry, I’m sometimes a bit… confused when I first wake up,” Cloud mumbled out the apology without even looking at the other two. 

It was a bit eerie, as if he were talking to someone else, and not the befuddled Angeal and Zack. Cloud’s gaze kept shifting to the ceiling, his palm still resting against one eye like it was hurting. It definitely didn’t feel like he was talking to the other two men, but then, who else would he be talking to?

“Uh--” Zack trailed, his own gaze flicking back and forth between the ceiling Cloud spoke to, and the blonde himself. “It’s alright, Cloudy, no harm done. Are you -- are you alright?” the black-haired man dared to ask, not sure if speaking to the blonde would set off another episode of… well, of whatever the fuck that was. 

Zack may not recognize what had just happened, but Angeal himself knew from experience. He’d already guessed at Cloud having PTSD from some sort of trauma, but this had just confirmed it. The blonde had clearly had a dissociation episode, and was trying to pull himself back out of it by focussing on his senses. Zack’s smell was enough for scent, sight was focussed on his hand to help reconnect himself to his body, touch was his palm against his face, hearing was speaking. All that was left was-- 

“Are you hungry, Cloud? I can make you something to eat if you’d like?” Angeal offered. 

If Cloud knew how to recognize his own episodes, and pull himself out of them, then the raven had no doubt the younger was rather familiar with them at this point. He felt the urge to comfort the blonde, but he also knew touching Cloud was the worst thing any of them could do in these circumstances. Touch had been the thing to send the man into dissociation in the first place -- that and probably the disorientation of waking up from sleep -- so attempting to cross those boundaries would only make the problem worse. 

For the first time since Zack and Angeal stepped away from the bed, Cloud looked over at their forms. His palm was still covering up one eye, but the other one was expressive enough to let them know the blonde was hurting. 

“Hn,” Cloud grunted, but nodded his head nonetheless, before turning his gaze back to the ceiling. 

Angeal smiled softly, and moved to leave the room, but not before placing a firm hand on Zack’s shoulder. He leaned in close to his startled boyfriend’s ear, and whispered out a low warning. 

“Don’t leave him alone, not for one second, Zack,” he whispered so quietly, that even someone with enhanced hearing wouldn’t be able to pick it up.

Zack nodded his head, his own face set with understanding of the order. This wasn’t his boyfriend asking him to do something, this was his superior giving him an assignment. 

Angeal’s biggest concern with Cloud coming out of his little episode, was that the blonde would do something to harm himself. It wasn’t uncommon for people experiencing strong dissociation to try and damage themselves, or even take their own lives. Cloud’s fight or flight was probably off the walls right now, and any lapse in his resolve could cause him to take off, or lash out. 

Angeal hadn’t been in the kitchen for five minutes when he heard shouting down the hall. Stiffening, he prepared himself to intercept Cloud should the blonde try to run off. 

“Hold up, you shouldn’t be up walking around yet,” Zack’s shouting rang out.

Not two seconds later, the blonde came walking around the corner. Instead of heading for the front door though, he made for the couch. 

“The last thing I want to be doing is laying down, Zack. I may be your prisoner, but that doesn’t mean I take orders from you, so fuck off,” Cloud growled, his face grim, and almost pained. 

Zack, who came around the corner not long after Cloud, visibly flinched at the cruel words. 

“That’s not--” Zack began, but didn’t have a chance to finish. 

“That’s not it? Really? Tell me, if I wanted to, could I walk out of this building right now?” Cloud asked, still not looking Zack in the eye. 

“Well, no, but--” Once again, Zack was cut off. 

“No freedom to leave, isn’t that the definition of a prisoner?” Cloud growled, his eyes narrowing at the table in front of him. 

“You’re not--” Zack was visibly growing frustrated, the muscles in his jaw ticking as he ground his teeth together. 

“So as far as I’m concerned, I am well within my rights to tell the one holding me hostage to go to hell,” Cloud continued on, never giving anyone a moment to breath, let alone speak. 

But Zack had had enough. This wasn’t the Cloud he had seen laughing in the mess hall. This wasn’t the Cloud whose face scrunched up when he was thinking really hard about something. This wasn’t the Cloud who had a weird obsession with rice crackers… This wasn’t the Cloud he was growing to care for. 

“That’s enough, Cloud!” 

Zack was shocked to hear the words he had been planning to yell come from someone else. 

Angeal stood a few paces away, his own features set in an angry glare at the blonde. He was understanding of Cloud’s current mental struggle, but he wasn’t going to allow him to hurt Zack like that. If the younger man wasn’t going to listen to calm words of reason, then maybe he needed a firmer voice. 

Cloud visibly jolted in his seat, though he was quick to cover it up as he sent his cold glare in Angeal’s direction. 

“I--” This time, Cloud was the one to be cut off. 

Zack may like being softer with Cloud until the tantrum subsided, but Angeal was more than fine with taking control early on. 

“You are many things, but our prisoner is not one of them. Have any of us ever once mistreated you? Denied you food, raised a hand to you, or locked you up in some cell? Have we even once tried to make you do something you absolutely didn’t want to do? Hell, most of us have been trying our damnedest to help you. You may have restrictions, but you are not a prisoner,’ Angeal ground the last words out, before closing in on the blonde. 

He knew he was supposed to be giving Cloud his space, but he needed to get his point across here and now. Much like Genesis often did with Zack when he was trying to get the younger’s attention, Angeal grasped Cloud’s chin between his thumb and forefinger. He could feel the way the smaller male’s teeth grinded together, a snarl already placing itself on Cloud’s face. Angeal remained firm, using his grip to force blue eyes to meet his own. 

This was already uncharacteristic of Angeal as it was -- using forceful means to make his point -- but what he was about to do was even more so. 

“Or would you rather we did treat you like a prisoner? I could set you up with a cozy cell in the prisoner-of-war bay, where you’d be lucky to get one hot meal a week. Where they don’t give a damn if you’re crying, afraid, or even dying. Where you’d be interrogated every day for the secrets we all know you are keeping, yet are kind enough not to force out of you,” Angeal finished. He took in the faintest glimmer of fear in Cloud’s eyes, which made his chest constrict painfully. 

Fear tactic was much more Genesis’s style, and not his own. Angeal didn’t like manipulating people’s emotions to meet his goals, but he felt Cloud hadn’t left him with much choice. 

“Ang!” Zack deadpanned, obviously ready to step in and put a stop to Angeal’s torment. 

The raven held up a hand, his eyes still locked with Cloud’s. 

“Hush, Zack. This is a conversation between myself and Cloud,” Angeal warned, his voice deep, and commanding. This was a side not many saw of the older SOLDIER, one that revealed how, despite his kinder, gentler nature, Angeal was always in control where people didn’t realize it. 

“Is that what you want, Cloud?” He questioned the frozen male beneath his looming form, daring to move his thumb from Cloud’s chin to brush over parted lips. 

Zack watched the whole exchange now with interest, recognizing the confusing method Angeal had used on him before. It was a balancing act that only the raven himself had perfected, in which he exercised dominance, and then followed it up with a gentle touch. It tossed one’s ability to think out the window… but it also was something he’d only ever done to his lovers. It was strangely intimate, and very difficult to break from -- almost like a snake charmer playing his tune, and Cloud was the snake. 

Perhaps Genesis was right. Maybe Angeal was growing to like Cloud more than he was letting on. 

“Answer me, otherwise I’ll take your silence as a yes, and set it up to have you transferred immediately,” Angeal warned, his voice now much gentler, but still showing who was really in control. 

It was still a couple more seconds of silence, as Cloud stared into the raven’s teal eyes, searching. He was searching for any weakness there, or any hint that Angeal would give in, but there was none. Cloud had been cornered, but not in any way that he was particularly used to. This was a test of mental strength and resolve, and Angeal had clearly won this battle. 

“No,” the blonde finally answered, his face a little more relaxed. There was still the slightest narrowing of eyes, but this time it was more from confusion than it was an actual glare. “Will you let me go?” Cloud asked, his voice emotionless but for the smallest remnants of fear, and that was not the effect he wanted the blonde to remember whenever they met. 

“Of course,” Angeal spoke tenderly now, stroking Cloud’s lip one last time before stepping back. 

The raven heard Cloud mutter something under his breath about “boundaries,” but decided to let it go. He’d already made his point, and trying to push further would only push Cloud away. Instead, he made his way back into the kitchen to continue making food, trusting in Zack’s social skills to calm things down. 

Zack was hesitant to move closer to the blonde, who leaned exhaustedly back against the couch without anything revealing his inner thoughts. He was feeling rather awkward after being the outsider looking in during that whole exchange, and didn’t even know if it was possible to just strike up casual conversation anymore. 

The second the black-haired man’s weight settled in the cushion next to him, Cloud’s head snapped in Zack’s direction. He was on high alert, but that was to be expected. 

Zack hadn’t mentioned his own action towards Cloud earlier that day, and the blonde was no doubt feeling like he was being held on the end of a double edged sword. He’d seen first hand how quickly Zack and Angeal could switch from being kind, and supportive, to revealing their darker, more demanding sides. And Zack had no doubt Cloud was suffering from emotional whiplash as a result. 

A serious conversation needed to take place between Zack, Angeal, Genesis, and Sephiroth. A serious conversation regarding a certain blonde, whom three out of four of them seemed to be pining for. If things continued the way they were trending, they all needed to be on the same page, lest they risk completely overwhelming Cloud. With how they’d been approaching this, it was clearly sporadic, lacked the proper preparations, and just all over the place. 

Cloud needed the chance to get used to all of them individually, both their loving sides, and their more domineering ones. Though, from what Zack had witnessed so far, the blonde clearly took guidance better than he gave it. Cloud had listened to Zack’s command back in the bedroom, and he’d relented to Angeal just now. It may seem like the younger male was the type who needed to be in control, but it was becoming increasingly obvious he gained that emotional crutch from being controlled by another. 

But that didn’t change the fact that if they weren’t careful, they’d do more harm than help. 

Uhg, this was a delicate situation, and Zack had never been very good at those… Oh well, no good would come from him frying his brain trying to find a solution on his own. He’d just have to rely on the other three when they finally sat down for a proper conversation -- and he had a feeling that would come sooner rather than later. 

\---------------------

Sephiroth sat behind his desk, staring darkly at the investigation order on his computer monitor. There were reports of strange readings from the Fort Condor reactor, which were concerning, to say the least. It wasn’t even a full week since the reactor in Junon had started malfunctioning, and it only took a couple days for it to shut down completely. Not to mention, this would mean, by Angeal’s logic, that the problem with the lifestream hadn’t been a simple blockage. No, it would mean they were dealing with the one thing they hoped it wasn’t -- an infection. 

But how did one even go about curing an infection in the planet, and what had caused it to begin with? 

Sephiroth didn’t want to throw around blind accusations, but all of this had started not long after Cloud showed up. Did the blonde have something to do with the problems Shinra was facing with its reactors, and if so, what did he do to cause it in the first place?

He didn’t want to believe Cloud could be their enemy, but he also didn’t want to blindly trust him either. His lovers were getting dangerously close to the blonde, meaning it was about time for him to make his presence a more regular occurrence in Cloud’s life. If their thoughts became clouded by infatuation, then he would be the only one left with a level enough head to seek answers. 

Sephiroth looked down at his schedule he’d mapped out in his PHS, and found he had some time in the afternoon the next day. He could probably carve out that two hour long section to take Cloud for a walk, or perhaps somewhere a bit more entertaining. The blonde had been cooped up for Gaia knows how long now, and the general was sure he’d jump at the opportunity to go somewhere else. Perhaps spoiling him was the way to get him to let down his guard, even if just a little. Genesis loved to be spoiled, and Cloud shared some similar traits with the redhead. 

Sephiroth despised these games of trial and error, especially when they involved people. But he was aware how far behind he was in this race called “getting to know Cloud Strife,” and he was not one for tardiness. 

Only question was, how did a standoffish person like Cloud like to be spoiled?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more night by: From The Ash


	14. Author’s note

Hey guys! 

So firstly I apologize for any typos in advance. I’m on the go right now, so I’m having to type this out on my phone. This is an authors note tapping into the events of last chapter. I was going to reply to each of your comments about Zack and Angeal’s approaches to Cloud in the previous chapter, but I realized I’d probably sound like a broken record, and be typing the same thing over and over haha 😂 

Alright, let’s dive in. So the biggest thing I noticed was many of your concerns for Angeal’s approach specifically. I wanted to briefly mention, that the events of this story have been preplanned out over several months of charting. This means that everything I write, from the interactions, to the events have been done this way intentionally. I did have worries about the response to this chapter in particular, but I hope this note will help alleviate some of your concerns. (Please don’t hate me! 😅) 

At the end of the chapter, Zack, if you guys caught it, mentions the prospect of overwhelming Cloud, and he and the others needing to sit down and have a conversation. He understands, in his own way, that their actions could be starting to get out of control. Delicate is not exactly Zack’s strong point, and he is someone easily controlled by his own emotions. This is why he ended up expressing dominance over Cloud at the beginning of the chapter. In his mind, Cloud was being damaging to himself, and he became frustrated that Cloud wasn’t listening to his concerns. Both Zack and Cloud are STUBBORN, which means sometimes it’s a battle of wills. By no means was Zack intending to harm Cloud, he was simply being overprotective, and wound up himself from seeing Cloud’s reaction to Ark. His actions in no way harmed Cloud mentally, if only just made Cloud a bit frustrated. However, his actions also calmed Cloud down, because that small, momentary lapse of control allowed him to think clearer. 

Now mind you, Cloud hasn’t shared anything of his darker past with the others yet. Because of this, the other four are left to walk on a blind path of uncertainty, where they are only doing what they think will benefit him best. They are also all struggling with their growing feelings for Cloud, but are frustrated that they can’t seem to knock down his walls. Because of this frustration, and this infatuation mixing together, they will sometimes make bad judgment calls, or bad actions bred from confusion and strong emotion. No, they will never physically harm Cloud, so no worries there. They are growing to care for him, but are completely unsure of how to help him. An action that they believed could be beneficial, could actually have the opposite effect! 

Analogy time. Think of it like this. You are stumbling around in the dark, and are trying to find your way to the exit. Along the way, you are given several paths, and you have to go off little clues to determine which path to take. Some clues might be little flashes of light, a cold draft, or a soft sound — but the clues are all incredibly small, and difficult to read. Sometimes you might make a wrong turn, and need to trace back your steps to figure out where you went wrong. This is what it’s like for the four who are responsible for Cloud! 

Also be aware, that the further you go up the chain, the stronger the dominant urges become. What this means, is Zack has less calls to dominate that the others, so he is a bit shaky with his understanding. He is going based off the protective instincts he feels over Cloud. This means he can also sympathize with Cloud better though, because he understands both the benefits and potential detriments to being on the receiving end of these behaviors. Then you have Genesis, he is perfect at calculation with these matters, because he has had the experience with Zack, but he also has the understanding from his own times on the receiving end with Angeal and Seph. He is a critical thinker, and, in this sense, is able to approach these situations calmer, and with more reasoning. Additionally, he’s already had a major blunder with Cloud, when he ended up setting off a panic attack from his actions in the training room. He is now more cautious, which is something the others have yet to experience. 

So, now we can finally get to Angeal. Although most of Angeal’s actions are born from the natural (almost paternal) urge to protect, he is also human, and can make mistakes. He makes a judgement call based on what he thinks is right, but that doesn’t mean those calls ARE always right. In this case with Cloud, he doesn’t fully realize how his words could have come off. He doesn’t realize that Cloud struggles so badly with his own self worth, and he doesn’t realize he made it sound like all Cloud is to them is a chore. He was angered at the way Cloud was lashing out at Zack, but also concerned about potentially self destructive behavior. He was trying to be a diffuser, not a tyrant. It is even mentioned that Angeal is not the type to use fear tactic, meaning Angeal himself lost control. THIS IS NOT YET A D/S RELATIONSHIP. No rules have been set between them and Cloud, and all of them are going based off of instinct, and what they believe is the right course of action. So please, don’t make the mistake in thinking that this is what a dominant and submissive relationship that has been well thought out, and planned looks like. The relationship between the other four is a proper D/s dynamic (As we especially saw with the actions between Gen and Zack not too long ago), but Cloud isn’t apart of it yet. 

Did Angeal make a good call? No. Will it come around to bite him in the ass? Yah, probably (not gonna give a definitive yes or no answer because I don’t wanna spoil too much). Genesis messed up and regretted his mistake, Angeal is not immune to messing up either. One last time, these events are intentional, and written this way for a reason. 😊 

HOWEVER. If the events of the last chapter truly made a lot of you uncomfortable, or you felt something was way too vague, then comment down below and let me know. I can try to tweak the chapter a bit, or change some stuff that made a lot of you uncomfortable. 

Aaah, okay, I think that pretty much covers it. If you have questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to leave them down below. 😄

Thanks guys!


	15. I'm Dangerous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud finally begins planning his escape after his disastrous last interaction with Angeal. Sephiroth invites Cloud out, leading an interesting chain of events. Sephiroth and Angeal talk about Fort Condor, and about Cloud -- Angeal gets scolded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At the beginning of this chapter, there is a writing piece I created for this story called "A Lament For My Senses." It grows very, very gruesome and descriptive in a violent, gory sense. There is a lot of double connotation in it, and symbolism, where many of these graphic events are really symbolic of something else. I'm curious to see the responses of whatever brave souls rise to the challenge and can stomach it. If you do not want to read it, just skip the first section down to the typical ---- section breakers. It isn't too long, but it does add a heavier weight to the story, and to Cloud's internal struggle. 
> 
> Additionally, I'd like to apologize for it taking so long for me to come out with this update (over a week, I think). I was trying to make the decision on whether or not I should tweak some things from the last chapter, based on my personal opinion, and all of your responses to my note. I've decided to leave it as is, though I may change things a bit when I finish the story, and go back to edit. I just like the way it goes with the trial and error methods of our four favorite SOLDIERs in the story. They aren't gonna get it right with Cloud every time, and I feel that is a great portrayal of their humanity, as they are often seen as these strong, or even god-like beings. So sorry if that upsets some people :(
> 
> **WARNINGS: (For the lament at the beginning - Graphic GRAPHIC, gore and violence. Not for people with weak stomachs. Self harm/self mutilation but mostly in a figurative way, though still graphic.) character thoughts of worthlessness(Cloud), Cloud being a diligent and smart little devil, Sephiroth being two steps ahead as usual, cursing, flashbacks (Zack sings because why not, it's cute).** I think that's it, but as always, if I missed something, just comment below :)
> 
> Thank you guys so so so much for all the support. I can't believe this story is about to hit 9k hits, and almost 400 kudos. You all are the best! I will reply to comments soon (I know I've been slacking T^T) I just have to finish some of my assignments for my classes first.
> 
> OH! And quick note about this chapter. Sephiroth may or may not have found his term of endearment for Cloud, even if he has yet to officially use it hehe.

At first I was afraid, I was afraid

Down in the darkness,

I was crawling through the human race

I heard the voices through the dark

So I beat my fist

Against my chest, against my heart.

Silence the voices in my head

I picked my poison, now I'll drink it to the bitter end.

Standing on the edge of the fire

I don't know how I ever survived

I feel it burning under my skin

And now I'm back on my feet again.

My heart is bleeding out

Now, I'm dangerous.

\-----------------------------

A Lament For My Senses

The voices inside had long since beckoned me to join them in the darkness. I fought for the longest time, clawing my way through each layer of my writhing mind. Then my claws trained their deadly point to my physical being. 

I saw the darkness surrounding, so I clawed out my eyes -- the feeling of the pain radiating into the back of my mind, as the blood dripped around the demonic fingers I hardly recognized as my own. Why should I allow the darkness to have its way, when I could send myself there of my own determined volition. 

Then, I could taste the thick, chemical tinges of mako on my tongue. So I used my claws to slice the muscle free from my mouth. I felt it wriggling and twitching as it was ripped from the heated cavern -- copper filled the orifice it left behind like a dam shattering. The floodgates have opened, and all I can do now is swallow the blood -- swallow the words -- that I so desperately crave to spit out like a poison. 

Next was my lungs, which burned with the stale air, and scents that poured in from the world in which I no longer mattered. With my tongue laid upon the floor, all I could do was continue swallowing the screams echoing about. I plunged my clawed fingers deep into my throat, and grabbed a hold of my burning trachea. My windpipe constrained under the pressure of the grasp, and it reminded me of a squirming worm trying to escape the tight beak of a bird. Even through the agony, and the torment, I willed myself to rip my lungs from my chest. As they exited through my leaking mouth, I listened as they still swelled and sputtered -- still tried to inflate with air. 

But even after all of this -- even after my eyes, tongue, and lungs were gone -- I could still hear the voices. So with the last ounces of strength in my weak body, I used my claws to pierce my eardrums. It sounded like an explosion in my head -- like a sickening bass pounding against my brain. However, as soon as crimson reflections trailed out of my ears, I was finally cast into sweet silence. 

My claws twitched at my sides, but I had long since lost the ability to feel the pain anymore.

I was finally numb.

I could not see my failures, nor see the disappointment lingering on the faces of those I loved. 

I could no longer taste the mourning wails on my tongue, nor choke on my own salty tears as I cried out in fear, agony, and sadness. I would no longer be able to speak my secrets, which I was determined to keep locked away deep inside. Only Gaia would bear witness to the words I would not utter. 

I could no longer breathe in the stench of mako, the green fluid which pumped through my very veins. I could no longer smell the blood of those whom I sliced open, and left for dead under the eyes of the waning moon. No more did I have to share the very breath of my lungs with those who sought nothing but to use me for my virtues. 

And I could finally no longer hear the voices, which had plagued my every waking and sleeping moment with their whispers. If you screamed for me, I would not hear. If you screamed because of me, I would not hear. Please, I beg of you to damn the one who seeks to utter a word to me -- for it will go unheard, and I will be left to bathe in their blood. No, I would not hear another. 

My fingers were stained in my blood, but they were also tainted with the life of others. They were cursed, and ugly, with their claws protruding from chafed skin. They were a sin, and their corruption could only be wiped clean one way. 

As I slipped further and further from the conscious world, I bared my teeth and stuck each finger between my lips. One by one, I bit off the slim appendages with little effort, and listened to them fall to the floor with a sickeningly wet sound. My palms were sticky, and slippery with the heat that pooled down them. The tendrils danced down my arm, and tickled my elbow -- the only gentle caress I’d ever be deserving of. 

Finally…

FINALLY!

I could no longer feel the skin of another. I could no longer feel flesh tearing, and bones crunching. Without touch, I’d never have to feel the torture of loving another, only to have them slip through my fingers. Touch was a curse, and I would not touch another, nor would they be allowed to touch me. 

The distance to the normal, living world, and myself was vast, and no longer would I see my humanity. Without my senses, I could finally rest in the solitude of the life of a murderer, a coward, a weakling -- a worthless being was I. 

Cursed is he who seeks retribution after unforgivable sin. 

Cast into the darkness he will be -- and it is there where he shall remain.

Forevermore. 

\--------------------------

Cloud sat in the middle of his room, his journal once again open in his lap. He’d wasted enough time playing nice, and his last encounter with Angeal made it glaringly obvious that his presence was less than optimal. He’d rather not wait around with his hands in his pants until they decided he was too much of a burden, and locked him away somewhere. 

He had wanted to scream at Angeal, curse him -- hell, even punching him would have sufficed. Under the pressure of that stare though, and the gentleness of that touch, he had felt himself become speechless. His weakness in that moment was disgusting, allowing him to be played like an instrument in the hands of the raven. 

Why was he so scared to be abandoned by these men? Zack, he could understand a little better. The blonde, after all, still harbored that tiny spark of youthful innocence, which told him he needed to listen, and impress the man who meant the world to him. But when had Angeal ever earned the right to treat Cloud like a petulant child, and bend him with threats? And when did Cloud ever ALLOW himself to bend under such threats? 

By the gods, Cloud was the physical embodiment of a threat: a threat to the peace, a threat to others, and, of course, a threat to himself. His very existence had been called into question several times after meteor, if not for his connection to Sephiroth, then because of his extended connection to Janova. 

So what? Even if Angeal kept to his word, and threw Cloud in a dark cell somewhere, why did he care? Things such no longer scared him -- his fears existed only in mundane actions, not in those like imprisonment. He was numb to the typical fear tactics that were often used by the people who wished to bring him harm. 

If he held any semblance of trust for Angeal, it had been quickly stamped out like water on a campfire. With this he now knew he had to speed up his escape, which meant actually putting a solid plan to paper. 

Cloud stared down blankly at the blank sheet of lined paper before him, trying to figure out where he should even begin. After a moment, he supposed he could start with sketching out a basic route with the information he’d gathered from the few excursions he’d taken out of the apartment. 

Four floors down from this one was the mess hall, which was definitely an area he wanted to avoid. Most people didn’t take the stairwell to the far left, as it was out of the way of most important areas. He could take this down four floors, and never even have to go past the mess hall. 

Not too far from where he’d exit the stairs was a darkened hall, which bore the clear indications of an older Shinra structure. Rather than renovating these lesser used halls, Shinra was perfectly keen on just ignoring them, hence lighting being significantly cut off. This also meant the ventilation shafts would be much larger, and allow for him to crawl through to another level further down. It would be a lot of movement in a small space, and he’d have to be careful when sliding down to lower floors, but it was doable. 

The airflow would, without a doubt, be cold through the metal vents, meaning he’d want to bundle up. It was also best for him to not wear his uniform, since it would attract much more attention. He could take a sweatshirt and pants from the old pile in the closet, and just pack his own clothes away in a bag. Perhaps an old grocery bag would be the most subtle…

After he was out of the air ducts -- he should probably wait until he was at least on the tenth floor or lower -- he could blend in with the massive crowd of Shinra employees and typical, day-to-day guests. He’d just need to be warry of anyone who might recognize his profile, which was any individual who looked like a turk, or wore a SOLDIER uniform past second. Infantrymen were no problem, so long as he didn’t call attention on his way out. 

Going off that last statement, he should probably exit from the northernmost entrance. It was the busiest, and represented a much lesser threat to his discovery. All he had to do, was keep his eyes down, stay quiet, and move with the flow of the crowd. If he was lucky, his escape after crawling from the ventilation system could be accomplished in a matter of thirty minutes or less. 

Cloud’s brow twitched down at the paper where he’d messily drawn out a 2D map with several notes. He put a big circle around an area close to the exit, suddenly remembering a little detail that might be a problem. 

The ID detection scanners took note of everyone who came in and out of the building, just a little ways before the front doors. If it detected someone without an ID, the information would be sent through the system, and an alarm would go off on the PHS’s of all Shinra military. This also meant the four men he would be trying to escape from would get this notification. Once they recognized Cloud’s image, they would definitely come after him. Worse case scenario, the building would be shut down. Should that happen, it would be next to impossible for him to get out -- at least impossible without fighting his way through. He didn’t want to hurt innocent people, and from his fight with Genesis, and past experiences with Sephiroth, he wasn’t sure if even he could take them all on at once.

If he was caught, it was game over. He would not get another chance again. He’d always have eyes on him, and that was if he was fortunate enough to not be locked up completely. 

This scanner stretched across the entire floor, from one wall to the other, and it was not visible to the naked eye. Cloud himself only knew it was there from past experience, being in Shinra’s military and all. The only way to avoid it was to go over, or under the beam, but it was perfectly level at his waist. Going over it would mean jumping rather high, and that would definitely draw attention, but slipping under it wouldn’t be much better. He didn’t want to make a scene, but he also couldn’t risk the detector touching him. 

Cloud tapped his pen on the paper a couple of times, his hand coming up to rub under his chin thoughtfully as he slouched over his notebook. 

He had two options, he could either wait until the eyes of any potential Shinra employees were off of him, and slide under. Or, he could potentially pretend to trip, and stand up on the other side. The first option was much more controlled, but also less subtle, and clearly a deliberate evasion. The second option left the potential for him to accidentally touch the beam on his way down, not to mention draw attention from bystanders who might try to help him up. He’d have to play it based on circumstance once he got to that point, and make a quick decision based on his surroundings. 

There was one other option, however, it was a much safer plan with more than one person involved, and not just his own efforts. If he had an inside guy, he wouldn’t be hesitant at all, but with it being just him, things became riskier. One floor up from the exit was a control room, hidden safely at the very back of the building. He still had all of his Shinra passcodes, meaning he could have the security scanner shut down long enough for him to slip through. But if his timing was off, even by a small fraction, he’d be screwed. 

Right after Shinra’s security is tampered with, the building automatically goes on lockdown until the problem is located. He’d have just a few seconds to slip through the security scanner, and exit the building. That was about ten meters of ground he’d have to cover, from the doors to the scanner, surrounded on all sides by crowds of foot traffic. This would require a quicker pace, which also could draw attention to him if he wasn’t careful. At most, he could have the scanner shut down for a ten second interval. He’d set it to happen five minutes after leaving the control room, and pass through just as the countdown started. It represented the least risk of accidentally getting scanned, but the most risk of being caught in a locked down building. Timing was also the most important part, meaning he’d need some type of watch. 

Cloud sighed, and let out a frustrated grunt, bringing a hand through his blonde spikes in an exasperated gesture. It was a difficult situation, that had the blue-eyed man weighing the pros and cons of just jumping out of a second floor window. He’d be out in seconds, without having to worry about internal security problems, but he’d also have all of Shinra on his ass until he got out of Midgar. Actually, considering the amount of mystery and concern revolving around him, he’d probably have to dodge them even once he was out of the city. Without a vehicle, going unnoticed would be difficult, and reminded him very strongly of his time on the run with Zack -- what he could remember of that year-long period, anyways. 

There was no doubt in his mind that he’d need as much of a head start as he could get, so forcing an escape like that was not an option. He had to be quick, inconspicuous, and above all else, very, very precise. From the moment he left this room, the clock would start ticking to the realization that he was missing. He didn’t want to take any longer than an hour getting out, and even that was pushing it. Every move he’d make, and every little decision could mean the difference between waking up a free man the next day, and waking up in shackles. 

“Fuck,” Cloud muttered, bringing his hand from his hair and down across his face. 

Why was getting into Shinra so much easier than getting out? Why did he allow himself to get caught up here in the first place? Why hadn’t he started planning this sooner? 

On top of all of the technicalities and little things he needed to be aware of, he was also very aware of his lack of equipment. He needed materia, an easily concealed weapon, a watch, and it definitely wouldn’t hurt to have a potion or two. Even if he didn’t have to fight anyone, just one slip moving downwards in the vents could cause a broken bone or two. The last thing he wanted was to steal from Zack -- if not for the risk it presented, should the black-haired man notice some of his stuff going missing, then for the respect he held for him -- but he had no idea how he would come about these things himself. 

He’d hoped to be out of here in a week’s time, but it was looking more and more like it would be a bit longer than that. He’d have to keep playing nice until then, and that thought alone left a sour taste on his tongue after his encounter with Angeal. 

After making a checklist for items he’d need, Cloud slammed the book closed, unable to look at the source of his current frustration any longer. He’d keep a keen eye out for any opportunities to nab some of the equipment he needed, but for now, the blonde would try to stay patient a little longer. Chances revealed their faces when one least expected, and if he was diligent, he may be able to start his escape plan soon. 

With one last glance at the cover of his notebook, Cloud stood up and walked over to the bed. He lifted the mattress with ease, and slipped the object into a small tear he’d made in the cloth bottom. One would have to lift the mattress up completely in order to notice it, so, considering his lack of hiding spots, it was good enough for now. It wouldn’t do him any good to be caught before his escape even started. 

He set the mattress back down gently, and pulled the sheet back over the edge of the bed so that it was hanging loosely. With a silent nod to himself, he placed the pen behind his ear, and laid on his back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. It was quiet, and he felt a little disoriented, but he was otherwise rather calm in comparison to his usual, high-strung self. He began humming a gentle tune -- one that he distinctly remembered Zack singing while he and Cloud were evading Shinra’s military -- and, in time, found himself relaxing even further into the mattress, the memory and lyrics playing in his head. 

Zack sat in the back of the truck as it bounced over the dust-covered, desert hills. He leaned against the side of the bed, his head tilted back with the wind flowing through his hair. No doubt it was a refreshing feeling considering how long he’d spent traveling by foot, with the weight of another rested against him. 

Cloud laid, lifeless, across from Zack. Every jerk of the vehicle caused his limp body to flop heavily on the cold metal. He was there though, his mind was conscious, even if his muscles refused to listen to him. Most of the time, when his brain rose up to some level of awareness, it was rather torturous. He could feel, hear, and think, but like being stuck with a never ending curse of sleep paralysis, he could not move. Some days it became so maddening, that the only thing keeping him tethered to his sanity was Zack’s warm voice. 

The black-haired man’s rumbled words were soft, and flowed like warm honey from his lips, soothing Cloud’s panic down to just a simmer of anxiety. Zack had always been a talker, and although sometimes it had annoyed the people around him, Cloud had always enjoyed listening to the other. 

Zack had been going on and on through his mental thought process of what he was going to do once he reached Midgar. After talking to himself, with the occasional question thrown at the old man driving the truck, he settled on becoming a mercenary. Cloud couldn’t help but feel it was fitting for someone like the black-haired man, who was always looking for something else to occupy himself, and who always wanted to help people. 

“So when we get to Midgar, where are you going to stay?” Zack asks the lifeless blonde, who can hear the joking in the other man’s voice. 

As if on cue with Cloud’s mental eye roll, Zack confirms with words what his tone already gave away. 

“I’m just kidding, you know I wouldn’t do that to you,” Zack’s speech sounds lazy as the words escape his lips, but that lightness helps to settle the otherwise tense atmosphere that had surrounded them as of late. 

“We’re friends, right?” Zack asks, and Cloud can feel the black-haired man’s eyes on him. 

He wants to reply. Wants to reassure Zack that of course they are friends -- that Zack is the closest friend Cloud has ever had. But he can’t form any coherent words of his own, and nothing but sputtered mumbles and groans escape his lips. 

Cloud feels a hand ruffle his blonde spikes, messing up his, more than likely, already mussed hair. If this was a normal day for the two friends, Cloud would have groaned and batted Zack’s hands away, before trying to readjust the tufts. This was anything but a normal day, though… actually, all things considered, maybe this was their new normal. It had already been a year, which was more than long enough for friendships to change. 

“I’ll take care of you, Cloudy,” Zack muttered, his voice a little more gravely than it previously was. This tone was serious, and heavy; packed with sincerity. 

That made Cloud’s chest hurt, because it shouldn’t be Zack’s JOB to take care of him. He’d been doing that long enough, and all Cloud had been was a major burden. Had Zack been traveling on his own, without the blonde as dead weight, he might’ve already been in Midgar. 

Cloud tried to gargle out his protest, but it came out sounding like a whine more than anything else. He grunted his displeasure, earning a soft chuckle from Zack in response. A moment of silence held between the two, but it wasn’t uncomfortable, just a little solemn. It didn’t last too long though, as Zack’s warm voice began humming a tune, which soon turned into a muttered song. The song wasn’t sung loudly like one would hear from someone trying to impress, it was rather diluted, the words almost indiscernible under the black-haired man’s breath. But it held pain and passion on a level that would pull an emotional response from anyone. 

“I would be lost, drifting along

Floating up high time after time

And there you'd be shining brightly

Your smiling face to guide my way

Bloody and bruised, brought to my knees

When beaten down, when broken up

You would appear, reach out to me

Heal every wound and make me whole”

Even with the sadness in those words, Cloud found they soothed him like no other. He began drifting back out of consciousness, his mind relaxing so much that made it impossible for him to keep a strong grip wrapped around reality. But it was okay, because the sleep that followed was blissful. Only, what he didn’t know, was that the next time he came to, he’d be watching his best friend march off to his death. 

Cloud laid still on the bed, his eyes having drifted closed as he finished humming the song. He knew he wouldn’t find sleep soon, but this was the closest he’d get to it. He felt a sense of peace, which mixed a bit with the slightest twinge of pain. 

It was a bittersweet feeling, which also felt nostalgic in a way, and he gratefully relaxed into it.  
\--------------------------

Okay, to answer the question of how one Cloud Strife liked to be spoiled… well, Sephiroth could say this was not it. 

The silver-haired general stood awkwardly in the doorway of Zack’s apartment. In one hand, he held nothing but his own clenched fist, which opened and closed slightly from the stress of the current situation. In his other, he tried to hold out a wrapped sweet roll to Cloud, who looked at him like he’d lost his mind. 

The blonde stood with his arms crossed, and a grimace on his face from the weirdness of the entire scene before him. 

“Did you not get the memo or something? Aren’t the four of you like a living system of walkie talkies? I tell Zack something, which he ends up accidentally spilling to Angeal, who then ends up being grilled out by Genesis, who then exploits my words. Then, you pull Genesis to the side and give him a lecture or whatever about playing nice. Or did it just not get around to you this time that I hate sweets, but I hate being stuffed like a turkey every waking minute even more?” Somehow, Cloud managed to get all of the words out in a single breath. 

The worst part, though, was he was surprisingly… accurate in his analysis of how information often passed around their little circle. This pulled a diluted version of a grimace out of Sephiroth, who pulled the sweet back to his body. 

“My apologies… You and Zack seem to get along well, so I thought perhaps you both shared a similar liking for sweets,” Sephiroth explained, knowing how terrible it sounded out loud. It probably sounded like he was comparing Cloud to Zack, rather than making an effort to actually find out what the blonde did and didn’t like. 

Cloud rolled his eyes, before leaning his head tiredly on the frame of the door. He allowed himself to relax a bit, not feeling anything threatening come off of the silver-haired man before him. He wasn’t about to get any closer to Sephiroth than he already was though, determined to keep some level of distance for his own sanity’s sake. 

“Anyone who spends enough time around Zack, and myself, would know he and I are completely opposite. Just because two people supposedly ‘get along,’ does not mean they are the same,” Cloud dared to chastise, his voice firm, but growing a little more mumbled at the end. 

Sephiroth nodded, his lips pulling a little tightly on his face, as if he were making a strong effort to absorb the words. 

“You’re right, I shouldn’t have made assumptions. You strike me as someone who likes to get right to the point, so I’ll admit, I’m here to ask you if you’ll accompany me for a short while.” Sephiroth had meant the words to be a question, but realized they came out more as a command. Rather than asking Cloud to accompany him, it sounded like he was ordering a subordinate to complete an assignment. 

Cloud looked hesitant, an unidentifiable emotion flashing through his eyes as his arms pulled up more defensively across his chest. His posture was tense, and it was near impossible to identify anything other than discomfort in him. 

“Why?” The blonde quizzed, something akin to suspicion maring his soft features. 

That hadn’t exactly been the question Sephiroth was expecting, but if there was anyone who was good at calculating things quickly, it was him. 

“I’m assuming you don’t get out of this apartment much, aside from your unsavory experience with Genesis, or your excursions to the mess hall with Zack. I’d like to take you to do something you might find a bit more, shall I say, relaxing,” Sephiroth explained, his gaze never wavering as he looked down at Cloud. 

The blonde remained tense, as if ready to fight at the drop of a dime. Even though there was a very obvious size difference between the general and Cloud, the younger of the two held himself strongly. There were no openings in his form, and Sephiroth knew Cloud could strike at any moment, and he’d never see it coming. His own instincts rose to the challenge, and potential threat, as the silver-haired man fought to keep himself as relaxed as possible. Should he tense up similarly, it might confirm some suspicion Cloud could have about him, and thus cast Sephiroth even further away. 

After Cloud searched his face for a good while, searching for something Sephiroth didn’t know, his gaze dropped off to the side. Blue eyes closed for just a second, before the blonde let out a grunt. Cloud turned in the doorway, walking off and leaving the general standing there. 

Sephiroth was left wondering if he had done something wrong, but how could that be when literally all he’d done was stand there? Had he read something incorrectly? Had he read Cloud incorrectly? The questions rolled through his head, until he was alerted to the sound of footsteps. 

Cloud returned, now wearing a sweatshirt that hung a little loosely on his slim frame. Sephiroth recognized it as one of the old articles of clothing Zack had worn before he outgrew it. The blonde’s hands were tucked away in the pockets, his form still a bit stiff, but a tad less so now that he wore the extra layer. Perhaps it felt something like armor to Cloud, just to have that extra bit of cloth covering him. 

What was it about Sephiroth in particular that always had Cloud so much more guarded? He’d warmed up almost instantly to Zack, and he’d gained some semblance of comfort with Angeal soon enough. Genesis had problems at the beginning -- the result of his own stupid actions -- but even he didn’t rouse this instant disdain from the blonde, just by being in the same room. What had Sephiroth ever done to merit such automatic discomfort, and overwhelming distrust? If Cloud’s trust level with everyone else was set at zero, then the silver-haired man, in particular, was in the negatives. 

He supposed Cloud even agreeing to come with him was a step in the right direction though, as he could have just as easily walked off and saved himself the pain. Was the blonde trying to make an effort just as much as he was, or was he worried saying no would lead to repercussions? Sephiroth wasn’t the best when it came to people, but he was the best when it came to reading people based on their actions, and smallest tells. However, Cloud often created more questions that he answered. With every answer uncovered, two more were produced like a hydra having its heads cut off. 

As they left the room and began walking down the hall -- Sephiroth walking a couple of paces ahead as he was leading them to their destination -- he decided to just speak his mind. 

“Have you agreed to come because you want to, or because you feel as though you have to?” The general asked, his voice level, and unrevealing of the true amount of curiosity he held. 

Cloud was silent for a while, and Sephiroth almost thought he wasn’t going to answer at all. 

“I have no preference,” Cloud finally responded quietly, though it really didn’t answer the question he was presented. 

“You have no preference, meaning you don’t care whether or not you join me?” Sephiroth pressed further, his eyes flicking to the side for a moment to try and gauge Cloud’s reaction. 

The blonde looked up instantly at the feeling of the silver-haired man’s eyes on him, before looking back down at the floor with faux disinterest. He nodded his head, his hands shifting in pocket of the sweatshirt in a nervous action. 

“Hm. Sorry to call you out, Cloud, but that is a lie if I ever heard one. It is obvious to anyone with eyes how uncomfortable I make you, though I don’t understand why?” Something like humor made its way into Sephiroth’s voice, the general not believing the blonde’s words for a second. 

“You don--” Cloud began refuting the claim, but Sephiroth cut him off, not particularly in the mood for being fed blatant lies. 

“I’d like to offer a proposal: If you promise to be honest with me, I will be honest with you. If there is something you don’t want to answer to, then all you have to do is say as such.” Sephiroth offered calmly, as he pushed the button to call the elevator. 

“You make it sound so simple,” Cloud scoffed, his face contorting into a small grimace when he followed Sephiroth into the elevator. 

“Because it is that simple,” the general countered, pinning the blonde with a look as the elevator doors closed. 

“Really?” Cloud looked disbelieving, before continuing, “So if I said ‘general, please tell me your darkest secret?’” Cloud tried, his eyes flashing over to Sephiroth, as if making sure he was still a good distance away. 

“I’d say I prefer not to answer -- that is to say I prefer not to answer this moment, given the clear lack of trust between us. That isn’t to say trust can’t be built between two people, so long as both are receptive of the possibility,” Sephiroth elaborated. 

Cloud let out a sound like a bitter laugh, though no smile tilted his lips. Exactly the opposite, actually, as his lips were set in a deep frown. 

“So what? You want to be my friend then? Sorry if this comes off as rude, but I’m not exactly jumping for joy at the idea of playing twenty questions in the elevator of my prison. Oh wait, no, not a prison according to Angeal, since he’s made it rather obvious how easy it is to toss me into a real prison cell.” Cloud’s words were spat out with venom, his eyes flashing a bit with anger. The blonde took a deep breath, clearly trying to settle the tension that had made itself a home in his squared shoulders. 

“Angeal said that?” Sephiroth asked, unable to hide the slightest bit of surprise in his voice. 

“I thought we agreed not to lie to each other? You want me to believe that you four don’t sit around and gossip about how much of a burden I am?” Cloud’s voice was still stiff, but it had been diluted significantly after his momentary lapse of composure. 

“Actually, you’ve not agreed to anything yet, Cloud. And no, I don’t know exactly what Angeal has said to make you believe that, but I can assure you none of us have thought of you as a burden. Difficult to understand at times, perhaps, but not a burden. If that was so, you would have been cast out a long time ago -- and let me clarify before you get any ideas, none of us have intentions of allowing anything bad to befall to you.” Sephiroth paused a minute, trying to find the right next words to say. He wanted to figure out what might set the blonde’s mind at ease. 

“Angeal… He is a man who always has good intentions, and is typically much better behaved that Zack or Genesis. He’s incredibly smart, and calculates every move as if he’s staring at a chess board. However, even he can fall prey to word spewage bred from strong emotion -- particularly frustration. I know for absolute certainty that he would never ‘toss you into a prison cell,’ not that Zack would let him even if he tried. I’m sure you are aware of Zack’s fondness for you, at the very least.” Sephiroth allowed a small smile to rest on his features. He didn’t reveal Angeal’s fondness for Cloud, wanting his boyfriend to clean up after some of this mess he’d caused on his own. But it was very clear how much their puppy enjoyed the blonde’s company. 

“Zack? Zack is fond of practically everyone. He has no concept for self-preservation, and would befriend a bird if it landed on his window sill,” Cloud countered. 

Sephiroth hummed as they stepped off the elevator, finally having reached their intended floor. 

“There may be some truth in that, however, I can tell you there are very few people Zack acknowledges, and protects like he has with you. Tell me, for argument's sake, do you think you would have woken up in his apartment had he not fought tooth and nail to have you accommodated as such? Zack, though he does lack self-preservation, has always been the best man I’ve ever known at judging character. When he says someone is worth it, it almost certainly means they are.” Sephiroth glanced interestedly at the emotions passing through Cloud’s eyes like a slideshow. Yet found it even more interesting that it was hard to place them. It was clear the blonde wanted to not believe him, yet he was having a hard time battling with some inner thought. 

“I’ve always found it’s easier to get the answers you seek if you simply ask the questions you wish to,” the general offered, making sure Cloud knew he didn’t just have to answer questions, he could ask them himself. 

“I can tell you Zack was wrong this time… I’m definitely not worth it, and if Zack was smart he’d have left me to die in the desert,” Cloud mumbled his words, but Sephiroth heard each one of them clearly. 

He stopped them both in the middle of the hall they were walking down by placing an arm out in front of the blonde. Cloud froze instantly, his eyes widening a fraction at the pale flesh right in front of his face. Sephiroth turned to face him, crowding into the blonde’s space as much as he would allow. Cloud did take a step back, only when they were a hairsbreadth away from being chest to chest. 

The silver-haired man leaned down a bit, making sure his eyes were locked firmly with Cloud’s so that the younger male could not escape his gaze. Green met blue in a mesh of mako-infused intensity, both unyielding in their beliefs. 

“And who told you you aren’t worth it? I’ve seen a lot of horrible people in my lifetime, Cloud, and have taken many of their lives. I’ve seen the looks in the eyes of the cruelest beings right before death, and saw no regret, nor remorse for anything they’ve done -- only the self-pity of them being sorry they got caught. So trust my words when I say that someone who isn’t worth it, typically believes that they are; but many who are worth it, seem to think they are not. And you are most certainly the latter. I promise, you are worth much more than you think.”

A puff of air escaped Cloud’s lips, as if Sephiroth’s words had knocked the air from his lungs. He held strongly with the general’s firm gaze for a few seconds longer, before cutting off the connection and ducking away. With his back now to Sephiroth, his chest rose and fell unevenly as he fought to fix his breathing. 

“You don’t know me -- none of you do. I don’t make promises, not anymore, and neither should you. Promises lead to nothing but bad ends, death, and hurt. If you are wrong, and I’m not who you think I am; if I suddenly just spill everything, can you really say you’ll look at me the same way?” Cloud asked, turning his head a bit to the side so he could glance in Sephiroth’s direction. 

“No”

“Right--”

“Let me finish -- no, but just because I don’t see you the same way, doesn’t mean what I see will be bad. It just means I’ll be seeing you completely as you are, without some ridiculous facade you seem to think you have to keep up. Either way, we’ve arrived at our destination,” Sephiroth announced, changing the subject before things could become too heated. 

Cloud muttered something under his breath like ‘what are you a fucking gps system,’ but Sephiroth chose to ignore it. 

Sephiroth walked confidently into a room, whose double doors had been locked before the general decided to open them. The silver-haired man held himself with confidence, each of his steps light, and unable to be heard. Never once did the general of Shinra’s military ever look down, his eyes always set determinedly on his objective. 

Cloud, on the other hand, walked with confidence, but didn’t express it the same way. He held himself like a man who had nothing to fear, and walked straight ahead with sure steps, however, his eyes refused to look up from the ground. More often than not, Cloud was seen walking with his vision glued to the floor beneath his feet, even as his body squared up, and his steps fell before him with thundering precision. 

Just one of many ‘facades’ he put on, as Sephiroth had so eloquently titled it. 

It wasn’t the first time Sephiroth had noticed the way Cloud carried himself, but it was the first time he was concerned with how the blonde viewed his own self-worth. There were some things a glare, and a bad attitude could not hide, and this was one of those things. 

The room they entered was an armory of sorts, the walls lined completely with weaponry, armor, materia, and the like. It made sense now why it was kept locked, as this room would only be open to higher officials, and those who were receiving their first collection of SOLDIER gear. Many of the weapons were only authorized to be used by SOLDIERs of second class and higher. And with the amount of mastered materia, set in neat rows, Cloud could say for certain the amount of gil it would cost to replace everything in here was more than he’d ever see in his life. 

“Why are we here?” Cloud asked, his voice not revealing any level of excitement. 

“One materia, one weapon, your choice,” Sephiroth announced, clearly back to his short responses after their earlier conversation. 

Cloud looked over at the silver-haired man, his brows crinkled a bit on his forehead. 

“You’d give me a weapon? Not worried I’d use it against you?” Cloud asked, disbelief in his tone like he thought this was some sort of test. 

Perhaps, in a way, it was though, just not one of whether or not Cloud would turn his blade to him. This was a test of WHAT Cloud would choose, rather than how he would use it. Sephiroth also felt Cloud might relax a little more if he felt he had something to protect himself with. A good weapon could go a long way in relaxing the mind of a cornered warrior. 

“Are you my enemy, Cloud?” Sephiroth asked, arching one silver brow as he leaned against one wall, his arms crossed over his chest. 

“Hn,” the blonde let out that half-chuckle sounding noise again, and walked over to a wall holding swords. He picked up a random one, turning it over in his hand and running his fingers down the smooth, silver blade. Cloud bounced the handle a bit in his grasp, obviously testing the weight ratio. The style of the weapon was rather plain altogether, being the typical sword you might see on a battlefield with nothing special about it. Pink lips tilted up at one corner in something that wasn’t quite a smile, before Cloud raised the tip of the sword to point lazily at Sephiroth. “I could be -- is that what you perceive me to be?” Cloud asked, his tone plain, and emotionless. 

“Try again. Somehow, I don’t think that weapon suits you very well. Its weight is off, judging from the way you flail it about. Something a bit heavier, perhaps?” Sephiroth supplied, completely ignoring Cloud’s earlier question.

The blonde scowled, but did place the sword back on the pegs with a short nod of agreement. His fingers traced the ledge of the shelf expanding the width of the wall, blue eyes calculating each weapon carefully. The next weapon Cloud picked up wasn’t much better than the last, in fact, it was probably worse. Cloud picked up a pair of dual short swords, twirling them through his fingers with graceful precision. 

Although clearly versed in the usage of different weapons, this particular one would definitely leave openings in Cloud’s defenses. Perhaps as a throwing weapon, launched from a safe distance, these would do, but as far as a fitting close-combat sword went, the twin blades were transparently foreign in the blonde’s grasp. 

“Again,” Sephiroth instructed, shaking his head disapprovingly at the terrible choice. 

“Why? These are easily concealed, and would be good to have in a situation where you didn’t want your enemy to know you were armed.” Cloud mumbled the words out as if he were trying to convince himself more than he was Sephiroth.

“You ask ‘why’ too much. I’m not going to let you pick something that so obviously doesn’t work with you. Your weapon is an extension of yourself, so choose one that feels comfortable to you, without worrying about minor things like that,” Sephiroth warned. It was Cloud’s choice what weapon he picked, but Sephiroth would only approve of it if it looked like the blonde was actually familiar with its use. 

Cloud hesitated for a moment, looking down at the blades in his hands, before ultimately putting them back up on the shelf. 

Sephiroth wanted to steer him in the right direction, but he couldn’t force the decision. Cloud needed to get there on his one if the general wanted the results to be real. Those were his thoughts, that is, until the bonde very obviously avoided the one section of weapons the general knew would suit him best. As soon as Cloud glanced at the buster swords, he completely avoided looking at them any longer. Anyone looking for a good weapon would have at least looked at them with some level of consideration, but Cloud disregarded them as soon as he saw them. He was trying to hide his weapon of choice from Sephiroth, and that… irked the silver-haired man. In his mind, it was the same as if Cloud had lied to him, and he didn’t like liars. 

“Stop,” Sephiroth commanded, crossing the room to stand a couple of feet from Cloud. 

The blonde tensed, but didn’t make any moves to run for the hills quite yet. Instead, he seemed vaguely curious as to what Sephiorth was doing. That interest turned to a small flash of horror though, when the general picked up a buster sword from the shelf Cloud had avoided. Sephiroth ran his eyes over it, before holding it out -- handle first, blade pointed down -- to Cloud. 

“Try this one,” the general prompted the blonde, who looked as if touching the grip of the weapon would burn him. 

“It’s too big--” Cloud tried, turning his gaze away from the sword with struggle. 

“I doubt that,” Sephiroth snipped, his voice loosing some of its typical composure, and revealing he knew exactly what kind of weapon Cloud used. 

“Under what assumption?” The blonde glared, baring his teeth to the challenge Sephiroth had started. 

“Call it intuition, if that will make you feel better,” Sephiroth replied curtly, gesturing the handle in Cloud’s direction, while nodding down at it. 

Cloud looked like he was going to protest again, his features flat, and grim. Sephiroth knew he wanted to ask a question, but had none he could voice without revealing something he didn’t want to. After a while, he ultimately did reach out for the handle, careful not to touch Sephiroth’s gloved hand as he took it. 

“Save me the clumsy display of you pretending to be unfamiliar with this type of weapon, and tell me how it feels,” Sephiroth spoke calmly once more, though his voice did reveal he didn’t want to play games anymore. 

Clouds lips pressed together a tad, his eyes flickering from the sword in his hand, to Sephiroth’s own calculating gaze. The sharpness of his own stare never faltered as he turned his focus completely to the blade. He held it up in front of his face, eyes tracing up from the base of the blade, to the tip. 

“Decent weight distribution between the blade -- steel, from the look and feel of it -- and the handle. The handle itself is a little long, leaving room for loss of control, but reasonably thick, and sturdy. Reinforced with solid, connected, metal brackets, meaning it is unlikely to break off from a heavy-force impact.” Cloud swung the sword in a slow, downward motion, his hands twisting around the grip to get a good feel for how it handled. He let out a grunt, before continuing his analysis. “Fairly easy to maneuver, though it’s sharpened on both sides. Based on this, and the way the weight is heavier in the center of the blade, means it is more for side-to-side, slashing motions than it is for precise, downward strikes. This would also make it a difficult guarding weapon, and has the potential to harm the user if they try to reinforce with their arm. It is a good weapon for a beginner, who is trying to warm up to the buster sword, but doesn’t work well with my style of combat,” Cloud finished, his gaze staying trained on the ground as he handed the sword back to Sephiroth. 

Sephiroth hummed, and nodded, taking the sword back, before picking up another that seemed to match what Cloud was looking for. 

“This one?” Sephiroth prompted Cloud to take the second sword.

This time, the blonde did so without hesitation, pulling the weapon to himself and automatically beginning to determine its worth. Something like peace made its way into his face when he tested it with a few slow strikes in the air. Sephiroth knew it was a good match before Cloud even said anything because of this. When someone has found the right weapon, their visage looks like that of someone returning home after a long time away. For many SOLDIERs, their weapon IS their tiny piece of home while they are on the battlefield. It is a companion that will stay by their side, even in death -- hence why one’s blade is referred to as an extension of themselves. 

Cloud’s eyes never left the sword, even as he gave his answer. 

“This one… it’s good,” he confirmed, his head nodding once, sharply. 

“It’s yours,” Sephiroth replied, before moving to the wall of materia next. 

The general froze, however, when he felt the tip of that blade resting against his spine. His eyes narrowed, but he didn’t feel any fear, nor did he feel any ill intent coming off of Cloud. 

“You’re giving me this weapon, but I’ll ask again, how do you know I won’t use it on you? How do you know I’m not your enemy? Is it like you to put so much blind faith in a person you’ve barely had a proper conversation with?” Cloud asked the question without an ounce of hesitation in his voice, even as there were still no signs of malice in his presence. 

“It is unclear. What do you think, Cloud? Who do you perceive me to be? Maybe if I had your answer, then I could begin to understand why my existence terrifies you so much. Are you trying desperately to prove you are a bad person, or are you simply trying to push me away?” Sephiroth responded coyly, not revealing any of his own emotions in his voice. 

“You and Genesis both seem to think I’m afraid of you. Is it just in your nature to mistake malice for fear, or are you both just so high on your thrones that you assume everyone bows to your presence?” Cloud countered back, just as swiftly, with the tiniest hint of anger in his words. It was not anger directed at Sephiroth, though, it was just general frustration. 

“There are many things that are in my nature, most of which do tend to make men fear me, but haughtiness is not one of them. I don’t mistake malice for fear -- it is very clear when someone wants to run from me, or put a knife in my neck -- but perhaps you are trying very hard to convince yourself to feal hatred for me?” Sephiroth quizzed, taking Cloud’s silence as a sign to continue. “I’m unarmed, you could have spared yourself this conversation, and have been rid of me already. You could have chucked my body to the side, and ran as far from here as you wanted. Everyone knows you’re with me, so no one would suspect you to have escaped. Instead, you’ve stood here with your sword that, might I add, you have been pressing lighter and lighter into my back. You won’t hurt me, Cloud, and I promise,” after Cloud’s earlier reaction to the word promise, Sephiroth made sure to add extra emphasis on it this time. “That I will not hurt you.” 

At the end of his words, Sephiroth felt Cloud’s blade was pressing gently enough against his spine that he could safely move. He turned around, slowly, making sure not to startle Cloud into accidentally striking, and pushed the blade to the side. 

The blonde let it fall to his right, so that the metal point of the sword was touching the ground, while the handle was held loosely in his hands. 

“You’re right -- I do want to hate you,” Cloud stated quietly, his voice sounding a bit grainy and strained. 

“Then why don’t you?” Sephiroth asked, never moving from his position in front of the smaller form. 

“Because you -- this you -- hasn’t given me a reason why I should.” The words were mumbled, and almost inaudible. 

Sephiroth recognized, by now, when Cloud said something to the person he was conversing with, and when the blonde said something more to himself. This was the latter, and the younger’s words made no sense…

“This me? What other me would you have seen?” Sephiroth pressed, hoping the phrase from Cloud was code for something that might give him more answers. 

Cloud glanced up at Sephiroth, the far away look that had been in his eyes being replaced with shadowed indifference. 

“It doesn’t matter. I’m going to head back to Zack’s apartment -- thanks for the… gift.” Cloud hesitated on saying the last word, though something in his eyes softened minutely after it was uttered. He turned his back to Sephiroth, and left the armory, not even remembering he was supposed to pick out a materia too. 

Sephiroth sighed, his eyes training on the wall of glowing, colorful orbs. He studied it for a moment, before picking up the one he felt suited Cloud more than any other. The healing materia was green, and warm in the general’s hand. The ribbons of mako swirled inside, creating a silent hum -- a smooth vibration -- of energy to course through his fingers. 

The bright coloration of the green had always reminded Sephiroth of the spring grass in other countries. It was cool, and refreshing, yet full of life. Its healing properties not only suited Cloud, but its coloration seemed to fit well too. For if this materia was the grass, then the golden-haired male was the sunshine. Sometimes it was hidden by foggy, or stormy skies. Other times, it gave its position in the sky away to the moon. But it always came back, and always shined brightly, even when it looked so lonely up there by itself. 

As locked in his own solitude, and burning hurt as Cloud may be, his personality shined. 

Cloud was sunshine. 

\-----------------------

“Fort Condor too? You’re sure?” Angeal asked Sephiroth, who sat, turning an ordinary healing materia over in his fingers.

The raven’s silver-haired boyfriend had seemed fixated on the object for a good bit of their conversation, making Angeal wonder why. 

“It would seem so,” Sephiroth replied, resting the materia against his knee, and leaning his head on a closed fist. “What’s more, is I don’t think Cloud is aware of what’s going on. I highly doubt he is the cause of it, nor do I think he has anyone operating from the outside.” 

“I could have told you that myself, but what has you realizing this on your own? Does it have anything to do with you looking at that healing materia like it has gold locked inside?” Angeal quizzed, his brow arching at the silver-haired man, who glanced disdainfully in his direction. 

“This was part of a gift I gave to him, but he forgot to take it when we parted. On the matter of the topic at hand, if Cloud was doing something to hurt the lifestream, or the people of Shinra, then he would have stuck his sword in my back today. Cloud wouldn’t hurt anyone who wasn’t deserving of it. Even then, I feel it would come with much hesitancy, and more cost to himself than most might recognize.” Sephiroth finally placed the materia down on the table in front of the couch, his attention turning fully to Angeal. 

“You gave him a sword? I guess Zack hasn’t told you about Cloud’s… outburst, the other day then. Otherwise you might’ve thought twice about that,” Angeal stated with a hint of concern in his voice. 

“Outburst? Any correlation to the fact that Cloud told me today you threatened to throw him in a jail cell?” Sephiroth was composed, and calm, little to no emotion in his words, but Angeal could hear the slightest hint of curiosity. 

“The threat was empty, even Zack knows it was just to get Cloud to calm down,” the raven waved it off, leaning back against the sofa with his face tilted towards the ceiling. 

“Perhaps, but Cloud doesn’t know that. He also doesn’t seem to like you very much right now, and accused us all of ‘gossiping about how much of a burden’ he is.” Sephiroth had to admit, he was feeling a bit smug to know he wasn’t the only one on shaky ground with the blonde anymore. 

“A burden? When did anyone say that? Unless he took my explaining all that we’ve done to help him as me complaining. It was meant to be a reassurance, not a list of moanings,” Angeal cursed under his breath. He couldn’t help thinking he should have stuck to his roots, rather than try to play a game that was better suited to someone like Genesis. “I also might’ve gone a bit overboard with my general tone--” Angeal trailed off, his brow shifting into an even deeper furrow than normal. 

“What kind of tone did you use?” Sephiroth asked, vaguely certain he knew what the answer would be. 

“I was… overbearing. I used a tone I might’ve used with Zack which, in this case, probably just came off as forceful. I only did it because Cloud was acting like a ticking time bomb, and he was hurting Zack,” Angeal tried to defend his case. 

“And you wonder why he is upset? You tried to tighten the leash on something that isn’t yours, Angeal. Even if Cloud was in an argument with Zack, you know him well enough to know the puppy would have snapped back eventually. Zack would have told him to stop, and calm down -- and Cloud probably would have apologized for his words by now, rather than be angry at you.” Sephiroth chastised, resisting the very strong urge to knock his lover upside the head. “A lesson you should learn well: Sometimes, a bomb needs to just go off. You may have to pick up some pieces when it’s done and over with, but it’s better than the risk of getting blown up while trying to diffuse it without clear instructions.” 

“You’ve been more talkative than usual lately, and I’m not sure if I like it or not,” Angeal grumbled, not particularly liking being lectured at. 

“I am such when the situation merits it,” Sephiroth stated, adjusting one of his gloves that had twisted out of place. 

“So, you did spend time with him today, and he actually spoke to you without running away?” Angeal mused, knowing as well as the rest of them how much more uncomfortable Cloud was around Sephiroth. If not for the blondes earliest reaction to seeing the general, then for every other time the two have been in the same room together. 

“He technically did end up running away in the end,” Sephiroth corrected, his brows pressing together for a split second in thought. “But yes, I did get a chance to understand Cloud a bit more thoroughly. Which brings us back to the concerning topic of our reactors shutting down. I stand behind my belief that it doesn’t have anything to do with Cloud himself, but we still have no idea what is really going on outside of speculation.” 

“Yes, the reactors are a very important topic -- a topic which isn’t going anywhere. We can get to that in a moment, so stop trying to change the subject, Seph. I know you well enough to know when you are trying to divert attention away from something you don’t want to speak about. You and Cloud were actually coexisting together for more than five minutes, and--” Angeal drew out the last word, motioning his hands for Sephiroth to continue where he left off. 

“Do you want to know because you’re actually interested in how it went, or because there is something in particular you want to hear?” Sephiroth’s voice wasn’t exactly accusing, but it definitely said he was suspicious. 

“Just tell me what happened,” Angeal pressed, his tone gruff. 

“Careful, Angeal. Your impatience will get you in trouble,” Sephiroth warned, not at all humored by the way his lover was speaking to him. “My conversation with Cloud revealed to me that he is probably not behind any of our current problems with the reactors. It proved he has no intention of harming anyone, as he very well could have ended me today. And it told me he has very little in the ways of recognizing his own self-worth. In blatant terms, he has no self-confidence.”

“Really?” Angeal looked genuinely surprised. “I’ve noticed he definitely has his struggles, as we all have seen, but he carries himself like someone with complete confidence in themselves.”

“A facade. Any strength he shows is bred from his determination, and fight or flight response. He’s incredibly intelligent, and very well trained, but he doesn’t see himself as worthy of anything. He told me Zack should have left him to die.” Sephiroth managed to get the last sentence out without anything in his voice, though that didn’t mean he liked to say them. 

“This is only speculation… but maybe he blames himself for something? People who think they are worthless, oftentimes feel that way because they feel they’ve done something wrong. Guilt can go a long way, and can tear even the most prideful of men apart,” Angeal shared his thoughts, his own voice a bit strained. 

“Hn. Perhaps. Fort Condor -- this is really a conversation we need to have. If this is an infection of sorts, it’s bad enough that it’s shutting down outlying reactors. Should it reach Midgar, there will be an even bigger problem.” Sephiroth changed the topic, no longer wishing to carry on with their previous subject. 

“Communications down, a mass panic on a scale that even we wouldn’t be able to keep under control, transits stopped, and basically all internal operations forced to a stand still. Yes, I’d definitely say it would be complete chaos. Under the absolute worst circumstances, Midgar and Shinra might even fall completely -- especially if word manages to slip through to Wutai,” Angeal sounded as frustrated as Sephiroth felt. It was one thing to deal with a problem that had a tedious solution; it was another thing to deal with a problem that seemed to have no clear solution at all. 

“I’ve sent a few second class SOLDIERs to do some on-the-surface investigation in Fort Condor. Eventually it might do some good for one of us to go out there personally, and see if there is any evidence or clues that might hint to an answer. For now, I want you, Genesis, and Zack to make sure that none of this information gets to Cloud. Not a word,” Sephiroth ordered, his eyes locking with Angeal. 

“Why do we need to hide it from him? Even if he isn’t a part of what’s going on, he could have insight that the rest of us don’t. He could even know who, or what, is behind it,” Angeal argued. 

“Yes, or he could close off even more if he becomes worried we’ll do something to him in order to gain answers. The more trapped a person feels, the more likely they are to shut down completely, or lash out. I’m not going to risk it,” Sephiroth stated, his word final. 

“Are you worried he’ll close off and we won’t get any answers, or are you worried he’ll close off and grow further away?” Angeal quizzed, his eyes examining the silver-haired man closely for any signs that would point to either direction. 

“I’m worried about a lot of things right now, Angeal,” Sephiroth completely dismissed Angeal’s question, his eyes now resting back on the healing materia sitting on the table. 

There was some truth to those words though, even if they were meant to be dismissive. 

There was a lot to worry about…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song in the middle of this story, sung by Zack, is called Hollow by: Yosh. It is a song created for FF7 remake and I just fell in love with it. 
> 
> Song for chapter quote and title Dangerous by: The Everlove


	16. Little Poor Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genesis and Cloud work on tending to their weapons, a tinder interaction being the last thing Cloud expected to experience with the snarky redhead. Zack and Cloud play video games together, but things don't exactly end the way either of them planned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaah! Writer's block was a mean jerk to me for most of this past week. I blame it on all of the essays I've been having to write. I'm so happy I was finally able to sit down, and really get into writing this chapter though. Also! OMG, this story is about to hit 10,000 hits, and passed 400 Kudos. I'm screaming. I really recommend listening to this chapter's song, as it reminds me so heavily of Cloud for some reason. Also, I just feel it sets the vibe for this chapter. 
> 
> This chapter is... hmm, I guess you could call it angsty, which you'll understand what I mean by that when you read the first section of it. I'm evil, as always. We get a little bit more interaction between Genesis and Cloud, which is both sad, and sweet. 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think! I read all of your comments, and it really helps to motivate me to continue writing when I know there are people who are, not only enjoying it, but really getting engaged with my story, and who start forming their own hypothesis' and such. Thanks for all of your support, kudos, and comments!
> 
> **WARNINGS: Angst! Lots of feels, mentions of death, guilt, self-worth issues.**
> 
> I shall try to add a smut scene into the next chapter, as I know it's been a while since we've seen one of those haha. The purpose of this story is not all about sexual interaction, so I don't want to make that drown out the other stuff. I feel like it'll make the story less meaningful, and have it become lost.

I tried hard, you know I care

I care, I care

Mirror mirror on the wall

I'll make sure you crack and fall

I made strides, don't call me sweet

Chaos organizes me 

I can see you're wondering, oh why?

When I'm with you, I crumble alive

I have to leave this place.

I'm gone

Not going home

Going down that lonely road 

I can't tell you what I feel inside

This feeling burns inside my mind

Just a little poor me.

\--------------------

The sounds of the pounding on his door made Cloud curl in on himself even more, his hand covering his ears like a child hiding from a thunderstorm. His heart was still racing in his chest, as choking sounds escaped his lips. He refused to cry though -- he didn’t even deserve to be breathing, let alone crying. 

“Cloud! I swear on the gods if you don’t open this door and talk to me, I’m going to break it down!” Zack’s concerned voice broke through the barrier his fists had created over his ear drums. 

It was a mistake! He hadn’t meant to do it. WHY. Why did he do it? He blamed Genesis for putting these thoughts in his head, but at the end of the day, it wasn’t like someone had put a gun to his head and forced him to do it. 

“Three!” 

His head was pounding, and his chest felt tighter than it ever had, even before taking part in a battle. His eyes stung, but he couldn’t let the tears fall, he had to keep it inside. 

“Two!” 

It was suffocating, and just so painful. Why was he stupid? Why did he fuck up anything he touched? A dry heave escaped his lips, his stomach suddenly rolling with a strong wave of nausea, even though there was nothing in it to eject. 

It’s painful. 

“One!” 

A moment of silence passed -- the calm before the storm -- and suddenly, the door to his protected little space was forced open. 

The strength Zack exerted to break the lock caused the door to bang heavily on the wall, leaving a hole there where the door knob had connected. 

Cloud couldn’t look. He couldn’t see the disappointment on Zack’s face. He couldn’t witness that, and have that be the last thing on his mind as he was marched to some cold, dark cell. 

It’s painful…

How did this even happen?

\--------------------

A few hours earlier...

Cloud flipped through the pages of his notebook, making sure he had the skeleton of his forming plan conformed to memory. Should something happen, where he was forced to destroy the pages he’d written on, he wanted to make sure he wasn’t starting from zero again. His lips subconsciously mouthed the words, though he was careful not to speak anything out loud. He had just always found it easier to memorize things if he acted like he was verbalizing them. It was like the movements of his mouth were wrapping around each syllable, and copying them into his brain. 

The blonde pulled his knees closer to his chest, one of his hands rubbing his brow bone while he concentrated. His back was plastered against a wall, meaning there wasn’t the chance for someone to come up behind him and read anything. All things considered, he was actually rather comfortable, and Zack’s apartment wasn’t in the negatives anymore, as far as temperature went. The home was very quiet, as Zack had gone out for a while to do something or another. He didn’t tell Cloud, of course, because nobody seemed to want to share anything with him, even though they were quite content with prying into his affairs. 

The black-haired man had left with a smile and exuberance, as always, and stated that he’d “be back in a couple of hours.” 

Cloud might’ve considered the fact that the man was willing to leave him for extended periods of time as an accomplishment. After all, if Zack were to make it a habit of leaving Cloud unattended, then it might give the blonde that golden opportunity to slip out. Like everything else in the blonde’s life though, it just couldn’t be that simple. 

When Zack left this time, Cloud made sure to pay close attention to the door itself. He hoped it would be a normal entryway, without any more complications he’d have to add to his already painfully long plan. Unfortunately, he could see the subtle, red glow of a sensor between the door and its frame. It looked to be some type of Shinra-based technology that would alert Zack whenever his door was opened. If it was complex enough, it might even tell him who entered and left. Testing this theory wasn’t a risk Cloud was willing to take, and he’d have to find a way to work around it -- yet another hurdle that would take time to jump over. 

Cloud jotted the note down on the page next to the rest of his jumbled thought processes.

“When did he even have time to get that installed?” Cloud mumbled to himself under his breath. Since he was talking to himself, he obviously hadn’t been expecting a reply -- it was okay to talk to oneself in order to compile thoughts, but when you start answering, then you’ve definitely got a problem. He did get an answer, however, just not from himself. 

“When did who install what?” The deep voice rang out in front of Cloud.

The blonde automatically recoiled, jumping to his feet in a matter of seconds, before chucking the closest object he could find to distract his opponent. It was only his misfortune that the closest object was the notebook in his hand, which was easily caught by his uninvited guest. 

Cloud pinned Genesis with a glare strong enough to curdle milk, and was greeted in return with a lopsided smirk. 

‘Asshole’ Cloud thought to himself, even though he’d grown to expect that cocky look on the redhead’s face. It was pretty much a package deal when it came to Genesis -- come for the snarky commentary, stay for the cocky smirks that make you want to punch your host in the face! 

“It’s lovely to see you again too, Cloud, as always” Genesis stated, his voice dripping with sarcastic humor at Cloud’s antics. Antics, which he too had grown accustomed to after his time with Cloud -- Come for the objects thrown at your head, stay for the death glares!

Cloud didn’t reply to the redhead’s greeting. Instead, his eyes zeroed in on the notebook that was now in Genesis’s hand, rather than in his own where it should be. Of all things, he had to throw the ONE thing he didn’t want in someone else’s possession. 

Genesis followed his line of sight to the black book he held, then back up to Cloud, whose eyes quickly snapped to the side. 

“This is yours?” Genesis asked, waving the journal in the air to grab back the blonde’s attention. 

Cloud nodded, his narrowed eyes now holding contact with Genesis’s. His shoulders were stiff, and his hands were clenched into fists at his side. The tension in his body was obvious, but in order to not attract unwanted attention to his discomfort, Cloud forced himself to relax. At least relax as much as was humanly possible. 

Genesis hummed thoughtfully, before turning the notebook over in his hand, admiring the front and back of the cover. His eyes were inquisitive when he finally regarded Cloud once more, a mischievous glint behind them that set off warning sirens in the blonde’s head. 

“This journal is very nice, though it doesn’t seem quite your…” Genesis paused at the end of his thought to mull over what word was appropriate. “Style,” He finished, tracing the indented design of the flower imprinted in the cover. 

Cloud’s lips pursed, as he struggled to keep to his impassive composure. At first, staying an emotionless slate around these men had been almost as easy as breathing. After getting to know each of them, and realizing how effortless it was to get ensnared in their games, he found himself struggling to keep that same level of calm. He knew he could end up running right into Genesis’s traps, and not even notice it until it was too late. The fact that the redhead now held the one private thing Cloud was allotted, made it feel as if he had a knife pressed against his neck. 

“Back to not talking again?” Genesis quizzed, quirking a brow in reaction to Cloud’s silence. 

Cloud ignored the question, but eventually did speak when the nerves wracking his core became too much to bear. 

“Give it back,” Cloud ordered, outstretching one hand in the journal’s direction, and leaning slightly closer to Genesis. 

Genesis’s face contorted into a look that Cloud couldn’t quite read: lips pressed firmly together along with his brows, while his eyes narrowed. 

“Why? Is there something in these pages that you don’t want me to see, Cloud?” Genesis asked this all too calmly, as if he already knew what the journal entailed. 

Cloud took a moment to mull over the question, not sure how to go about answering. On one hand, he could lie and say it was just frivolous writing of no importance, but that might make Genesis wonder why he was trying so hard to reclaim it. On the other hand, he could just be honest, and explain it was private. Would Genesis be the type to respect privacy though?

“Yes. It’s a private journal, and I want to keep it that way, so--” Cloud trailed off, stretching his hand closer to the book to emphasize his desire to have the journal back. 

“So what I’m hearing is--” Genesis began, his fingers now tracing the edges of the closed book’s white pages dangerously. Every once in a while, the skin on the pad of his thumb would caress the paper with a tad more pressure, causing the fluttery noise like a turning page to fill the room. “To pry your secrets from you, I simply need to read this little book that you have, so conveniently, all but placed directly into my hand?” The redhead stopped tracing the pages, but the inflection of his words were a heavy enough weight in the air that it made Cloud’s breath stop in his throat. 

For a moment, the room grew deathly silent, but the feeling was like electricity bouncing back and forth between the two. Cloud didn’t want to answer, because it was obvious enough that Genesis was right. All he had to do was flip the book open, and he’d have not only the answers he wanted, but also the blonde’s entire plan for escape. Genesis had been the one to pry information out of Cloud not too long ago, in a manner that was almost cruel. Why was this any different? Cloud could fight -- could try to stop him -- but in the end, he really was just a prisoner. 

A soft thump rang out in the small space, but it was loud enough that it caused the slightest jolt in Cloud’s form. Blue eyes turned to his bed, where his journal now laid like a child’s forgotten toy. 

“I’d like to believe my moral compass dictates what I want is better when earned, rather than taken,” Genesis declared light-heartedly, the smirk, ever present on his face, now a little softer as he regarded Cloud. 

“Huh?” Cloud asked dumbly, though his face appeared rather…dumbstruck. 

Genesis scoffed, rolling his eyes, before leaving Cloud’s room, along with the forgotten journal. 

“I want to earn the right to your secrets, darling, I don’t want to steal them -- such things are beneath me.” Genesis waved his hand dismissively as he called out to Cloud, who began following behind him blindly. 

“Why?” The blonde inquired, his brows pinching with confusion, and a bit of frustration. He was their prisoner, their captive, their hostage. He thought he’d drilled that fact pretty clearly into his mind by now, with that little added help from Angeal. One second he felt as trapped as a bird in a cage, where he could see the rest of the world, but not touch it. Then the next second, one of them was doing something like this, and just…

It was confusing! 

Genesis plopped down on the couch in Zack’s living room with a contented sigh, and peaked one eye open at Cloud’s question. 

“Why do I want to respect your privacy? We’re not animals, Cloud. I consider such things to be a basic human right. Who hurt you to where you expect us to be so cruel all the time?” Genesis’s tone was full of light humor, but the blonde’s frame stiffened a fraction.

Why? Because the answer to that last question was ‘too many.’ Cloud had grown to expect people to be cruel, or to betray every trust he dared to give. Humans were just inherently selfish, and would do anything to satisfy their own needs and desires. Even if it meant hurting those around them, or dragging those they claimed to care for through the dirt. 

Zack had been the first to teach him that lesson. The man had put his faith in Shinra, but when all was said and done, they ended his life. 

Friends, family, lovers. All of these bonds were just superficial, minutely stronger than those between strangers. If the ties that bound two strangers together were made of thin string, then the bonds that tied affiliated people together was a rope. Even still, with just enough pressure, the strongest of ropes could be ripped apart. Nothing was forever, and the thicker that rope, the more it hurt when it was ultimately broken. 

“None of you make any sense,” Cloud stated out loud, the feeling of the words on his tongue like deja vu. 

“You’re probably right,” Genesis replied. It might have come out sounding like a joke, if not for the fact that the redhead’s voice had grown a bit thicker with seriousness. 

After a moment of silence, Cloud already felt the mental exhaustion, which usually came with dealing with these four, creeping up on him. Though he made sure to keep the usual distance between himself and another, he eventually found himself sitting on the couch next to Genesis. 

“I don’t like you,” Cloud grumbled quietly, his arms crossed over his chest, but there was no heavy weight in his tone. It was almost like a joke, just that it lacked the typical chuckle that would normally follow behind one. 

“You say that as if you presume to know me, and I don’t mean superficial traits, I mean really know me,” Genesis countered. 

“You say that as if you want me to know you,” Cloud deadpanned, his eyes narrowing a bit in something that wasn’t a glare, but also wasn’t all too kind. 

“Would you like to know me?” Genesis asked, meeting Cloud’s gaze, and challenge, head on. 

There it goes again… That feeling in the blonde’s stomach, the one that he still couldn’t quite name. It was fluttery, and nerve wracking, in just all around uncomfortable, yet it wasn’t really unwelcome. His face felt hot, and his mouth opened and closed clumsily in a way that was very uncharacteristic of him. 

Genesis’s eyes widened a tad, causing something like nervousness to fill Cloud’s chest. 

What the hell was happening to him?!

“Is that a blush I see?” Genesis teased, leaning his face a little closer to the younger male as if to get a better look. 

Cloud used the back of his hand to pretend to rub something off his face, a choked sound rising from his throat in a failed attempt at clearing it. 

“Careful now, these sweet reactions of yours might make someone get the wrong idea,” Genesis chuckled, before leaning back out of Cloud’s space. 

“Wrong idea?” Cloud mumbled the question, not really sure what ‘wrong idea’ someone could get from him making a fool out of himself. 

Genesis stared at him with complete impassivity, his mouth set in a thin line, and his jaw tense. 

“I too find solace in the written word -- more specifically in reading than in writing. My favorite is a play called Loveless, a highly underrated story of the goddess, and her creation. Do you have a favorite story?” Genesis finally broke eye contact with Cloud, changing the subject completely. 

Cloud, who had still been trying to sort through his inner turmoil, was caught off guard by the sudden question. 

“Actually, hold that thought,” Genesis held up one finger in a ‘one moment’ sort of gesture. “I heard Sephiroth gave you a gift, and it just so happens my Rapier is in need of some basic maintenance. If you accompany me to my apartment, I’ll allow you to use my sharpening tools, polishing materials and such,” the redhead offered, the look he gave Cloud almost hopeful. 

Well, the offer seemed innocent enough, though the blonde never could be sure with Genesis. However, the older man had actually been rather kind as of late. It was just weapon maintenance and small talk, so it couldn’t be that bad to accept, could it? Granted Cloud wasn’t the best at small talk, he trusted Genesis could talk enough for the both of them the majority of the time. 

After weighing his options, Cloud bobbed his head up and down in silent agreement. He took a moment to go grab his new buster sword from his room. The heavy weapon was leaned against the wall next to his bed -- a small comfort for him whenever he slept. He’d grown used to having Tsurugi within reach while resting, and having this sword, though it was still a bit foreign to him, allowed him to sleep significantly better. 

He followed Genesis out of Zack’s apartment, relishing in the lightness that came with being free of the black-haired man’s scent. Though, he refused to admit out loud how fond he’d grown of it, and how many times it actually brought him solace. 

Upon crossing the threshold of the front door, Cloud couldn’t prevent his eyes from glancing down at that little red glow. Now that he knew it was there, the bitterness that filled him wouldn’t allow him to ignore it. 

Genesis noticed where Cloud’s eyes had drifted, his own following that gaze down the sensor. 

“He’s had that for a while now, it is not something he got because of you. Since most of us tend to gather in Zack’s apartment, for one reason or another, he started leaving his door unlocked. About six months ago, Angeal finally pestered him into getting that installed so a stranger didn’t just waltz into his home. Not that many people have access to this floor, but Angeal is a worrier,” Genesis finished explaining, clearly making a strong effort to sooth the blonde. 

“I wouldn’t care either way,” Cloud stated, though there was a slight snip in his voice that suggested he did care. 

Who wouldn’t? It was bad enough being kept against your will, but to find out someone went as far to instal a whole security system, to ensure you didn’t so much as walk out the front door, would upset anyone. 

Unsurprisingly, Genesis’s apartment was just a hop over from Zack’s. Cloud had figured someone like the redhead wouldn’t waste time traveling far. With how often Genesis was in Zack’s apartment, the blonde felt he lived fairly close. 

They skipped over one door, before stopping in front of the next one down. Cloud hadn’t intended on asking who the owner of the apartment they passed was, but Genesis seemed keen on telling him anyways. 

“This one is mine, the one we passed is Angeal’s, and Sephiroth’s is on the other side,” Genesis explained, jerking his head backwards when he spoke of the general’s home. 

Curiosity getting the better of him, Cloud couldn’t help but glance over his shoulder to look at the door on the opposite side of the hall. Sephiroth’s place was probably a bit bigger than the other three first’s, his rank being higher than theirs. So it made sense why his door was the only one on that side. However, it did make Cloud wonder why they all congregated in Zack’s apartment instead of the silver-haired man’s larger one. Did Sephiroth just prefer his space, or was it deeper than that?

The blonde’s attention was brought back to the door in front of him when he heard it click open. When his eyes gazed at the, now agape, entryway, he took note of the scent that instantly filled his sinuses. 

Out of the frying pan and into the fire. 

If Zack’s scent was overwhelming, then Genesis’s was tear inducing. Again, it wasn’t bad, it was just incredibly STRONG. Burnt wood, leather, and tart berries became all he knew as he stepped inside. It reminded him heavily of the fall in Nibelheim, even containing that mixture of fire brought warmth, with the slightest acidic chill. It was nostalgic in a different way from Zack’s scent, and ten times more dizzying. Cloud fought the urge to place a stabilizing hand on the wall, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention. 

“You’re like Angeal,” Genesis stated, his lips upturning at the revelation. 

“How?” Cloud quizzed gruffly, not liking the idea of being compared to the raven. 

“You’re both very sensitive to scent -- he often complains that we all actively ‘attack his nose.’ If it’s any consolation though, I’m the same way, just with… hn, well, I guess you could call it people’s presences. It’s like a crawling on the skin, where I’m always hyper aware of those moving around me. It’s good in battle, not so much in public situations. It tends to make me rather abrupt, and snippy on a bad day,” Genesis shared, gesturing for Cloud to go down a hallway to the right. 

The redhead’s apartment was a lot like Zack’s in structure, but nothing like it in decor. Instead of carrying shades of navy and grey, it carried those of crimson and black, much like the clothing Genesis himself wore. 

The redhead closed the door behind Cloud, before following him down the hall. He passed the blonde on light feet, and led the rest of the way to their destination. 

“Why would I need consolation? Things are just the way they are. There’s nothing complaining can do to fix it,” Cloud finally responded to Genesis’s banter. 

“Complaining may not fix the problem, but it can make you feel better to relay your frustrations. Take it from someone who knows, bottling things up until you explode -- and when you can no longer handle it, you will, in fact, lash out -- doesn’t do anyone any good. Least of all yourself,” Genesis pinned Cloud with a look cast over his shoulder. A look that was both chastising, and vaguely comforting. 

After making their way to the back of Genesis’s apartment, the redhead opened a door at the end of the hall. 

“Why is your bedroom in the back of your apartment? Doesn’t it make more sense to have it closer to the front?” Cloud asked before he could hold his tongue, the words falling out as easily as flowing water. He was getting too comfortable, and that was dangerous. 

“For the same reason I prefer to stay away from crowds. I don’t want to know every time someone walks past my door,” Genesis answered honestly, not an ounce of shame or hesitation in his words. This was a man who was sure of himself, and who obviously didn’t care what another person thought of this show of weakness. 

Cloud couldn’t relate. 

“Why do you cover your face when someone walks in? It’s okay to be honest, Cloud, in fact I prefer it,” Genesis countered.

Be honest? Honesty was just as dangerous as getting too comfortable, if not more so. But… Genesis had been nothing but honest with him so far, and it couldn’t hurt to exchange information on equal grounds. Nothing he’d asked about so far was something that he could exploit, lest Cloud exploit the things Genesis had shared in turn. 

“Scents… bother me. It doesn’t have to be bad for it to be overwhelming, and it takes time for me to get used to them. By covering my nose, I dilute a person’s scent enough for me to get used to it,” Cloud explained in a swift jumble of words. He felt if he didn’t get them all out quickly, then he might begin to overthink again, and second guess whether or not he should say anything at all. 

Genesis hummed thoughtfully while rummaging through his closet, his voice a little muffled by the sounds of him shifting stuff around. After a few minutes, he turned back around and left the closet with a few jars and containers in hand. He didn’t speak again until he carried all of the items to his dining room, dumping them on the table in a way that was much less graceful than Cloud had come to know the redhead to be. Maybe he relaxed more when he was in his own home, or maybe he just didn’t care for keeping up appearances with Cloud. Was that a good thing or a bad thing though, if it was the latter?

“And what of my scent?” Genesis asked, turning to face the blonde, who had dutifully followed him around throughout his home. 

“What of it?” Cloud countered, his head cocking to the side ever so slightly in a rare, honest display of confusion. 

“I already know it overwhelmed you from the way your nose twitched, and your body tensed when you walked in.”

‘My nose twitches?’ Cloud thought, feeling a rise of something like indignation in the back of his mind. Subconsciously, he brought a hand up to rub over the peak of his nose, making it appear as if he were only scratching it. 

“The question is, did it overwhelm you in a way that was bad, or in a way that you found enjoyable?” 

Enjoyable? How could feeling overwhelmed be enjoyable? It was either a bad feeling, or it was just a feeling -- like a fly that you try to wave away, but ultimately comes around every so often. 

“Uh--” Cloud trailed, the mental chain of curses following him soon after. “You don’t smell bad?” The words came out like a question, even though he had meant them to be more a firm statement. 

“What do you smell?” Genesis pressed harder, his eye ever watchful of Cloud’s reactions as he took his seat at the table, and unsheathed his sword. 

“Ask Angeal,” Cloud refused, taking his own seat at the opposite end of the table, and casting his eyes down to the smooth, black surface. 

“I already know what Angeal smells, but you should know that no two people perceive a scent the same way. What he smells is probably very different from what you do -- pine, apples, and leather is what he picks up,” Genesis paused for a moment while unscrewing the cap off of, what looked like, lacquer thinner. “I’ll make you a deal, you tell me what you smell, and I’ll tell you what I smell,” the redhead finished, tapping the end of his nose in soft emphasis.

“Why would I care what you smell? This whole conversation is really weird,” Cloud deadpanned, his nose scrunching the slightest bit. 

“Because you want to know me, and I want to know you. It is an exchange of knowledge, in a way. Besides, aren’t you even the tiniest bit curious about how I perceive it?” Genesis asked while looking down, running his finger along the edge of his red blade to test for dullness. 

Well when Genesis put it like that, yah, it did make him curious. He wasn’t before, but damn this manipulative asshole for putting things in his head. Cloud sighed deeply, knowing Genesis had, once again, won a battle against him. 

“You smell like Nibelheim in the fall -- firewood, and chilled fruit, though the leather Angeal and I smell is probably just because you wear so much of it,” Cloud voiced, his words barely anything more than a whisper. 

“Nibelheim? You spent some time there, then?” Genesis asked, his voice innocent enough that Cloud didn’t think it was a grilling for information, as much as it was just a genuine question. 

“...Yah, quite a while when I was younger,” Cloud’s eyes fogged over at some of the memories that forced themselves into his mind. His mother, and Tifa. The beautiful, starlit evenings where not a cloud tainted the sky, and every star in the heavens was visible. The fire, the screaming, the death, the heated pain, and the tears falling down his cheeks, evaporating almost as soon as they managed to reach his chin. 

Genesis nodded, his eyes glancing up to regard Cloud’s hands, which had frozen in their movements over his sword. Definitely time to change the topic back. 

“An autumn scent, you say? Interesting--” the redhead trailed, the corner of his lips twitching upward. 

Cloud, who had begun to run an oiled cloth down the massive length of his blade, felt his brow jerk. 

“How?” He asked, realizing with mild aggravation that Sephiroth was right -- he asked ‘how’ and ‘why’ way too often. 

“Because you, my dear, have a scent like the spring -- rain, watercress, and strawberry,” Genesis expressed with complete composure. 

Cloud, on the other hand, nearly sliced his palm open with the way he jerked. A hiss escaped his lips from the shocking sting that ran through the skin there, his heart rate slowly coming down when he saw no blood had been drawn. He’d already bled all over Zack’s kitchen, the last thing he needed was to do the same in Genesis’s dining room. They might be inclined to just secure him in bubble wrap at that point. 

The redhead looked like he was about to reach out for Cloud to check for damage, but froze mid action, and played it off like he was merely trying to grab another container. 

“Strawberry?” Cloud practically spat the word out, unable to believe someone like himself could carry a scent so sweet. To himself, he smelled like sweat, desert heat, and, on a bad day, metallic blood. He’d never picked up any of the things Genesis claimed to have found. 

“Surprising?” Genesis asked, a knowing look behind his eyes making Cloud squirm a fraction in his seat. 

“It would be if I believed it,” the younger scoffed, the pressure he applied to the edge of his blade now a bit harsher. 

“As I said, what one person smells on another, is almost never the same way another person perceives it. I’m sure Angeal, Zack, and Sephiroth pick up something different than I do--” Genesis stopped himself short from finishing his thought. A look filled his eyes which Cloud couldn’t quite read, as the redhead mulled over whatever was going through his mind. 

After a moment of silence, Genesis’s finger tapped on the table, that far off look in his eyes clearing up.

“They say people tend to pick up the scents that enthrall them the most, or bring them the most comfort in the environments around them. When those scents are found on people, it is usually a sign of attraction,” Genesis finished, stormy-blue eyes flashing upwards for the shortest second. 

‘You must really hate strawberries,’ Cloud thought to himself, his mind evilly envisioning buying a whole container of strawberries just to piss the older man off. 

There was nothing attractive about him, and anyone who thought so was either insane, dumb, or just blind. 

“Keeping with this trend, a scent can even change over time, and become sweeter, or more bitter depending on the level of attraction--” Genesis never got the chance to finish, Cloud cutting him off before he did. 

“What does this have to do with anything?” Cloud’s voice grew a little louder, the emphasis on his words being more obvious. 

“Have you ever felt attraction for someone, Cloud?” Genesis asked, and Cloud would have laughed in his face if not for the dead serious look the older man pinned him with. 

“No,” Cloud responded shortly. He’d never really had the chance, nor the level of comfort required for developing those kinds of feelings. He’d had a mild attraction to Tifa at one point, but that disappeared almost as quickly as it came. His attraction to Aerith was only because of the memories he possessed of Zack’s. So no, he truthfully didn’t allow himself the luxury. 

“Really?” Genesis didn’t even bother hiding the surprise in his voice. “You’re a young male, whose enhancements should give him a labido to match, and you’ve never been attracted to another? Not someone on the street, for whom you had to spare a second glance? Or a fan, whose crying for your attention caused a little swell of heat to rise in your chest? Or even a friend--”

Cloud closed his eyes, Genesis’s voice fading away, even as the redhead continued talking. Flashes of a smiling face filled his vision, the lopsided curve of a thin top lip, and plumper bottom lip being painfully familiar. A sweet chuckle -- deep and sultry -- sounded out as if the source was right next to him. Black hair, dark-blue eyes, a strong yet gentle grasp, the scent of honey and cedar mixing together in a dangerous cocktail. 

His eyes snapped open as realization of who he was thinking about dawned on him. 

“No!” Cloud shouted, his fist coming down on the table next to his sword, and making the wood creak uncomfortably under the strain. 

“Alright,” Genesis conceded, his own breath catching in his throat from surprise at Cloud’s sudden, strong reaction. Of course, this outburst did tell him the blonde must have had feelings for someone -- just those which he refused to acknowledge. 

No. He couldn’t have feelings for Zack like THAT. Zack was his best friend, and one of the few people who treated Cloud more like a person than a head case, monster, or even just an enemy. Feeling anything other than platonic affection was almost like betraying the black-haired man’s trust. Cloud didn’t FEEL things, least of all those as mundane as attraction. He can’t… he shouldn’t.

“Hey, it’s alright.” Genesis’s voice cut through Cloud’s panicked thoughts. The redhead was regarding him calmly, with maybe a hint of concern in his gaze. 

But Cloud couldn’t help thinking--

Was it really?

“You’re not applying that correctly,” Genesis, once again the king of random topic change, stated. He was watching, with a grimace, at the way Cloud mindlessly rubbed the white mineral oil over the broad blade in circular motions. “You apply oil to your blade the same way as Zack, and it’s honestly painful to watch. Perhaps you two are more similar than I thought,” Genesis grumbled the last part, before getting up to take a seat closer to Cloud. The blonde’s back straightened reflexively, but he continued to sit still. “My hope is you’ll take to my advice a tad better, as I’m sure you are aware how much Zack hates being told he’s doing something wrong.”

Genesis leaned in closer to Cloud, very slowly, and cautiously. His darker blue eyes glanced back and forth between Cloud’s impassive features, and the cloth the blonde held -- now suspended over the sword, rather than rubbing across it. 

The redhead grabbed the part of the rag that dangled in Cloud’s grip, tugging on it gently as a sign for the younger man to release it. With slight hesitation, Cloud did just that, the oil-coated cloth falling into Genesis’s own palm. 

“When you apply in circular motions, it causes a buildup of excess oil on the blade in some areas, while not enough in others. The coating is too uneven, meaning you could get patches of rust overtime, as well as corrosion in spots where there was too much oil,” Genesis began explaining. The hand that held the rag was suspended in front of Cloud’s face, moving in circular motions similarly to how Cloud had been doing.

“I choose to believe that the mark of a truly good swordsman, is how he treats his blade. The weapon is already used for enough violence, and that gentle care establishes respect for those lives it has taken, and will take. ‘The caring heart of the warrior is measured by the time he takes to mourn over his blade.’” Genesis spoke the last sentence of his instruction like he was quoting something, and Cloud remembered the redhead mentioning he enjoyed reading. 

“Is that from a book?” He found himself asking, his eyes focussed on Genesis’s face, rather than how the man delicately re-oiled the cloth. 

Genesis glanced up from the action, a gentle look etched into his features where he normally wore a cocky one. His lips upturned a little, before he concentrated on massaging the oil into the rag. 

“It is. My favorite book -- or written play, rather -- is Loveless. This particular quote comes from another story though, about a warrior who sees himself as little more than a monster. So blinded by his self-hatred, he can’t see all of the good he’s done through the memories of screams, from those whose lives he’s taken. As Angeal would say, what we have to learn with our lives on the battlefield, is that we can’t save everyone. ‘Don’t feel pity for those you couldn’t save from their darkened path, but do respect them enough to mourn them. For somewhere out there, be it in the lifestream, or on Gaia’s surface, there was someone who loved them.’” Genesis quoted once more, his voice a little thicker from the heaviness of the topic. It was as if the story he spoke of both pained him greatly, and comforted him. 

“You respect your enemies? You mourn for them?” Cloud asked, his tone sounding as unsure as he felt.

“But of course. Even if our views differ, what really separates me from the enemies I have slaughtered in battle? Both of us were fighting for a cause we believed in, and both of us were fighting for those we cared for, and love. The only difference is I got to walk away, while they did not.” A frown caused Genesis’s lips to downturn, as he took in the darkened look in Cloud’s eyes. “Of course, this does not make me wrong, nor does it make me a monster. It takes a lot more compassion, and bravery to admit to oneself the reality of what they’ve done, than it does to ignore it. A man with a weapon, who does not feel anything when taking a life, is ten times more dangerous than one who allows themself to feel emotion. As such, they are also infinitely more tragic. I’d rather mourn than forget.” 

Cloud nodded, his fogged eyes looking down at the sword beneath his fingers. Genesis often spoke in riddles, but his words now were something that the blonde not only understood, but connected with. Even the lives he hadn’t directly taken himself still haunted him. He was always at war in his head, thinking about all of the ‘what if’’s. In truth, Cloud had always thought this side of him -- the side that wept over the blood he’d spilt -- was a weakness, but the way Genesis spoke of it made it sound the opposite. Not only that, but Genesis made it seem like it made him more human. 

Cloud was torn from his thoughts by the feeling of the redhead moving closer. A feather-light touch fell upon the side of his face, making him feel both that strange fluttery feeling again, as well as the taint of anxiety from the close proximity. With someone this close, it made him feel vulnerable, and he had no idea all of that emotion and vulnerability was on full display in his features. He had no idea of how much his pained, and saddened expression tugged at Genesis’s own heartstrings. 

“You mourn, sweetheart, but then you let go,” Genesis spoke tenderly, the pad of his thumb lightly caressing the skin of Cloud’s cheek. “That applies to the lives you hate that you had to take, and the lives of those you loved and lost.” 

Cloud nodded, subconsciously allowing his cheek to press closer into the redhead’s comforting touch. He wouldn’t admit it to himself, let alone to Genesis, how much that caress was, not only welcome, but enjoyed. 

“Now, back to the topic at hand. I refuse to allow you to treat your sword with such disrespect, so make sure you pay attention,” Genesis ordered, his tone lighter. He pulled his hand back from Cloud’s face, using it to place a steadying hold on the hilt of Cloud’s sword. The hand still holding the rag was poised over the blade, as his eyes glanced up to make sure the blonde was paying attention. 

“Instead of applying the oil in circular motions, you want to use long, upward strokes. This makes for an even coating, and also wipes away any excess,” Genesis instructed, moving the oiled rag along the length of the sword with practiced precision. “Your sword is much larger than the average weapon, so it will take more time, but I can assure you the results are worth it.

The older man paused his actions after one more swipe, reapplying a small amount of oil to the cloth, before holding it out to Cloud. 

The blonde blinked down at it uncertainly, making no moves to take ahold of it. 

Genesis rolled his eyes, before carefully grabbing Cloud’s hand, and pressing the rag into the smaller palm. 

“Your turn. I’m not going to do it for you -- instruct, yes. Take over, no.”

Cloud gripped the cloth in his hand, his gaze moving back down the silver blade of his buster sword. Some areas were smoother, and shinier than others from Genesis’s attention, almost reflecting like a mirror. After a few seconds of processing the information he’d been given, Cloud placed the rag on the metal, and copied the maneuvers of the redhead. 

“Good,” Genesis praised, leaning over a bit so he could observe from a better angle. Every once in a while, he would place his hand over Cloud’s to guide the motions, but for the most part, he let the blonde work on his own. 

The atmosphere that settled between them was calm, and dare Cloud say serene. That was until, as usual, life decided to become more lively. 

“Zack’s coming,” Genesis announced suddenly, catching Cloud off guard. 

“Huh?” He barely managed to get the quizzing sound out, before the door to Genesis’s apartment burst open. 

The younger male jumped, what felt like, fifty feet in the air, going from his relaxed slump, to a bone straight posture immediately. 

“Gen, you kidnapped Cloud!” Zack shouted, his face comically dumbstruck, while his arms crossed over his chest. 

“If you paid attention to that security system you have, then you would have known I took him almost two hours ago,” Genesis stated plainly, though the teasing could be heard in his tone. 

‘So it did tell Zack who entered and left…’ Cloud thought to himself, his brow creasing a little with his frustration. Also, had it really already been two hours since he left with Genesis? It felt like only thirty minutes passed, at most. 

“I was in a meeting. Would it really have been so hard for you to just send me a text?” Zack countered, his annoyance clear on his face from being out of the loop. 

“All I did was bring him two doors down to fix up his sword. You’re acting like I dragged him on a flight to another continent,” Genesis argued back, though there was no real venom in his words -- maybe even a bit of light humor, as if here were used to this sort of thing. 

“It’s the principal. The prin-ci-pal,” Zack enunciated each syllable on the word twice, trying to drill it into the redhead’s skull. 

“Aww, Zack, were you worried for Cloud?” Genesis cooed in a teasing voice, leaning his head against his palm as he regarded the other. 

‘Worried I escaped’ Cloud thought a little bitterly. As the two had their little squabble, it was almost like he was arguing with them. Though he didn’t dare to voice his own thoughts out loud. 

Zack flipped Genesis off, but the redhead saw the red staining the black-haired man’s cheeks. 

“Come on, Cloudy. Genesis is being an asshole today,” Zack stated, urging Cloud to follow him back to his own home. 

Cloud couldn’t help the glance he spared in Genesis’s direction. It wasn’t like he was asking for permission or anything -- no, absolutely not -- but it was rude to just up and leave, right?

“It’s alright, I enjoyed our time today, but you should run along before Zack bursts a blood vessel,” Genesis consoled, his eyes softening a fraction from the submission Cloud unknowingly offered him. 

Cloud nodded, standing up, and grabbing his well-oiled sword. 

“Thanks,” he made sure to mumble to the man who had spent so much time helping him, before he turned to join Zack in the doorway. 

“Possessive puppy,” Genesis grumbled under his breath after he was sure the other two were out of earshot. He leaned back in his chair, now aware of how hollow and silent his apartment felt without the little blonde. 

He was happy to know, however, that his theory about giving information to receive it was correct. He had learned a lot about Cloud today, and it helped to cover any twinge of loss he felt at the lack of the younger man’s presence. 

Well… perhaps it didn’t cover it completely, but it was too soon to admit that to himself. 

\-------------------

Zack hated this feeling he had in his chest. 

It had dimmed down a bit now that he had Cloud back with him, but to come home and not find any trace of the blonde had caused his anxiety to spike higher than he cared to admit. 

He trudged down the hall with the blonde carefully walking after him, and it didn’t escape his notice how silent cloud’s footsteps were in comparison to his own. Like his name, the younger moved with utmost silence, which sometimes unnerved Zack, as he didn’t like the lack of presence. He wanted to know where Cloud was, and wanted to feel that the blonde was there. 

With an exasperated sigh, he slowed his own pace down so he could walk beside Cloud, rather than in front of him. 

“Did you have fun with Gen?” He forced himself to ask, trying his best to hide the mild frustration that still plagued him. Besides, as long as Cloud was safe, it shouldn’t matter if he was in Zack’s apartment, or one of the other’s.

“It wasn’t bad,” Cloud finally answered after a moment of silence, his sapphire-blue eyes glancing up at his friend. 

“Well, not bad is better than bad,” Zack joked, his posture now relaxing more after hearing Cloud’s voice. 

“Really? What gave you that idea?” The blonde replied sarcastically. It was the most of a teasing joke Zack was going to get in return. Sarcasm, the black-haired man had come to know, WAS Cloud’s way of joking around. 

Zack only fully allowed himself to relax again when they were both back in his apartment. He noted with distaste, however, that the blonde was already making his way back to his room. He didn’t want Cloud to leave, he wanted him to spend time with him the same way the younger had been spending time with Genesis, and Seph. Not so much Angeal after the last experience the two shared. 

“Hey, Cloudy, I was going to make some snacks and play video games for a while. Wanna join?” Zack asked, his voice much more desperate than he wanted it to be. 

Cloud glanced back at him, his face unrevealing of whatever he was thinking. It almost made Zack squirm in his place with uncertainty, but he wasn’t so weak as to stoop that low. Finally, after what felt like years, Cloud nodded his head. 

“Sure… let me just go put this down,” Cloud gestured to the buster sword in his grip, which Zack couldn’t help but glance at approvingly. He liked that they shared this similar taste in weaponry, and made a mental note to take Cloud to the training rooms to see what the blonde was made of. 

When Cloud returned, Zack noticed the tenseness in his shoulders, and the way he moved. Where the younger typically carried himself with grace, he now shifted much more clumsily. Was it because he felt more vulnerable without his weapon, or because of something else?

“You alright?” Zack asked, his brows crinkling in confusion at the startled look Cloud gave him in return. 

“Yes,” the blonde replied, way too quickly to be believable. 

Zack hummed his acknowledgement, and let the topic go. He didn’t want to press too hard, but if Cloud behaved any weirder, then he might start demanding more answers. 

While Cloud had gone off to put his weapon up, Zack had taken it upon himself to spill out a concoction of junk food on the living room table. His friend stared down at most of them with a glare of distaste, until his gaze settled on the one thing Zack no made sure he always had in stock. 

A faint glimmer of contentment filled Cloud’s eyes as he snatched up a bag of rice crackers, and settled into the couch a little ways from Zack. Zack, who was actively fighting the urge to pull Cloud closer. He knew the younger needed time to get used to his presence before he’d allow for anything more. However, there was a slight burn in Zack’s chest when he thought of how close Cloud had allowed Genesis to be. It was like a mixture of happiness, and jealousy, and was infinitely more confusing. 

“Are you ever going to get tired of eating those?” Zack chuckled, pushing the feeling down as he nodded to the cracker Cloud nibbled on. 

That was an action the older man just found adorable, for as he had spent more time around Cloud, he realized the blonde was a very slow eater. Rather than shoveling food in his mouth like Zack did, Cloud was content with taking small bites that were incredibly endearing. 

Instead of verbalizing an answer, the blonde just looked down at the bag in his hand, and shrugged. 

A frown tugged on Zack’s lips at this standoffish behavior, as he thought Cloud had grown comfortable enough with him by now to at least hold a conversation. Again, he pushed the feelings down. 

“What games do you like to play? I like this one best, but if you are more like Ang who prefers more story than combat, you might prefer something like this. The first one we can play together, but the second one we’d just have to take turns with the controller,” Zack explained, holding out two games before Cloud. He knew the blonde preferred making “either--or” decisions, rather than having an overwhelming array in front of him. Because of this, Zack picked out two games from his vast collection. 

Cloud looked down at the options presented to him, the first game Zack held having a picture like a battlefield, with two men holding swords at each other. The second one was much more geared towards beauty than violence, and had the image of a girl holding a staff under a sky full of stars. The vision the one with the girl gave, tugged at the blonde’s chest uncomfortably, his heart constricting as it reminded him of Aerith. So, ultimately, he chose the first one. 

“A man after my own heart,” Zack dramatically sighed, placing a hand over his chest as if Cloud’s decision warmed his heart. A smile broke out onto his face seconds after, as he jumped up to place the disk into his game system. 

After the sponsors rolled over the screen, a very upbeat, rock song began spilling from the speakers. The title of the game smashing onto the screen with a sound like swords clashing. 

“Immortal Combat,” A deep, male voice announced the title after it displayed, the sound cutting through the aggressive music. 

Cloud jumped when something was plopped into his lap, relaxing when he looked down and realized it was just a controller. The one Zack held in his own had was the same shade of Navy blue the man decorated everything else in his life with. Lines all over the controller glowed bright-green though, like mako veins were running through the plastic. While the one in Cloud’s lap was white, fading into black at the bottom in a pixel-like transition. Each of the buttons on his controller had a white, glowing ring around them, adding to the flashiness. The blonde had no doubt these were limited edition remotes, that must cost a hefty sum of gil. 

“Alright, so the goal is to try to kill my character before I kill yours,” Zack instructed, quickly going over the mechanics, and what each button made Cloud’s character do. He explained how, at the end of the fight, his character would do a really cool final move. Apparently, each of the fighters on the screen had their own finishing strike, which went with their own style of combat. Cloud would just have to watch to see what each one was. 

The atmosphere quickly relaxed as the two men fell into competition with one another, each resorting to dirty tricks to try and break the other’s concentration. 

Because Cloud was unfamiliar with the game, Zack won most of the first few rounds. After he grew used to it though, the blonde took over the crown, continuously slaughtering Zack’s character. He’d be lying if he said his determination wasn’t because he wanted to see each fighter’s final moves. Since the older man seemed content playing with the same avatar each time, it meant Cloud would have to win in order to experience the crazy ways each one ended a fight. 

“How are you so good at this?! Are you cheating?” Zack asked, leaning over Cloud to inspect his controller with a dumbstruck look on his face. 

“How would I cheat?” Cloud quizzed in return, pulling his controller behind his back like he was trying to hide something. 

Zack’s laughter, and Cloud grunts of strain rang out through the apartment as the two wrestled. The black-haired man was determined to get the younger’s controller, while Cloud was determined to keep it hidden. 

“People who don’t cheat have nothing to hide!” Zack shouted, his body all but laying over Cloud’s now, as he tried to shimmy his hands under the blonde’s back. 

Cloud squirmed, fighting to keep the smile off his face, and ignore the ticklish sensation. It wasn’t until he became aware of Zack’s chest, flush against his own, that he realized how close they really were. He wanted to shift so he could pull the remote out from under himself, and just give it to the black-haired man. However, Zack was much heavier than him, so with his weight bearing down on the smaller male, Cloud found himself unable to move. 

“Z-zack,” Cloud tried weakly, a little breathless from their antics, and from the weight on his chest. 

The other clearly hadn’t heard the protest, his tongue sticking out of his mouth a little as he still fought to get to the remote. His face was so close to Cloud’s, to the point where the blonde could feel each of those puffed breaths fanning over his cheeks. When Zack pulled his tongue back into his mouth, blue eyes focussed in on the glossy wetness left behind. They looked warm, and soft, and nearly impossible to resist. 

So he didn’t…

Before Cloud could even allow logic back in, he pressed his own lips onto Zack’s. The older male immediately stilled on top of him, a sound of shock vibrating between them. Zack didn’t push away, but he also didn’t make any movement either. Perhaps out of shock, he just sat there. Cloud made no movements either, almost like he was testing the waters, or maybe because he’d never shared a kiss with someone before. He knew little more than that a kiss involved the lips being pressed together. 

Reality crashed down on the blonde full force, as he realized exactly what he was doing. 

He kissed Zack! 

He kissed his best friend! 

As if he’d been burned, Cloud retreated even faster than he had dove in, his eyes wide and panicked. 

Zack was still frozen above him, his breath coming out a little ragged. Whether it be from surprise, their wrestling match, or the fluttering feeling in his chest, he didn’t know. 

“Cloud--” Zack didn’t get a chance to say anything further, as he was launched off of Cloud’s body with an impressive display of strength. His back hit the other side of the couch hard, knocking the air out of his lungs in a huff. His ribs ached a little, but he couldn’t be bothered with that as he watched Cloud bolt out of the room. 

Why was Cloud always like this?! He would do something startling, and then run away before anyone could even say something. If anyone here deserved an explanation, it was definitely Zack, and he wasn’t going to let Cloud get away that easily. 

A slam down the hall told the black-haired man that the blonde had retreated to his room, and he was fully prepared to pursue. He wanted answers, starting with why Cloud had just kissed him.

Did Cloud like Zack?

Was it just a spur of the moment thing?

Was it an accident?

He had to know! Because if Cloud did have feelings for him, then the last thing Zack wanted was for the blonde to hide away, and beat himself up over his actions. Normally Zack was understanding, and didn’t force the younger man to confront things he was uncomfortable with talking about. But this situation was way different, and he was going to get Cloud to talk to him, one way or another. 

The guessing game wasn’t one a person should play when it came to matters of affection, because that was a dangerous thing.

\----------------------

Right… so that was how it happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song -- Little Poor Me by: Layto


	17. Dancing With Your Ghost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack and Cloud have a little argument, which does not end how either of them expected. Angeal, Genesis, Sephiroth, and Zack finally sit down and have their much needed conversation about Cloud. A look inside Fort Condor reveals some concerning events. Cloud wakes up from a strange dream. Disoriented, he wanders out into the hall, and runs right into a familiar face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I had my midterm for one of my classes yesterday, so that is why it took me a while to get this chapter out, as I had to study. I've gotta say, I'm not sure how I feel about this chapter. I kinda like it, but kinda don't like other parts haha. Either way, I hope you guys find it interesting at least! Sexual content didn't make its way into this chapter unfortunately, and neither did Hojo. I was trying really hard to fit them in, but the chapter itself just became too long. It already has some heavier plot points, and I didn't want to add more on top of that, lest it become confusing ^^ However, this chapter IS supposed to feel a little foggy and confusing towards the end. It is intentional, though you might find it frustrating. 
> 
> **WARNINGS: Angst, arguments, panic attacks, graphic depictions of illness, mentions of mental health problems, some discussion of D/s themes, temporary memory loss.**
> 
> I think that's all the warnings, but you know the drill, let me know if I missed one. :)

How do I love 

How do I love again?

How do I trust

How do I trust again?

I stay up all night

Tell myself I’m alright

Baby you’re just harder to see than most

I put the record on

Wait ‘til I hear our song

Every night I’m dancing with your ghost.

\--------------------------------

He refused to look up…

He just couldn’t bring his eyes away from the floor beneath his body. The footsteps grew nearer and nearer, but there was nowhere for him to retreat to. Everything in his body screamed for him to get away, for him to avoid confrontation at all cost. At this point, if Zack got too close, Cloud didn’t even trust himself not to lash out completely. It would be involuntary -- a reflex ingrained from years of survival instinct -- but it would still happen nonetheless. 

Stay away...

Stay away. 

Stay away!

“Stay away!” Cloud finally managed to get the words out, his shout echoing off the walls of the room. 

He noted with just the tiniest, tiniest bit of relief breaking through his panic, that the footsteps had frozen in their approach. His nails had dug so strongly into where they clenched his biceps, that the skin had broken. He felt the blood trickling down in a slow stream, traversing its way to his elbows. But Cloud needed the physical pain, for it helped to dull the mental by the barest of fractions. It wasn’t enough though, so his nails began raking downwards along the flesh against Cloud’s will, tearing up all skin in their path. Four lengthening lines on either arm, bloody and raw from the rough treatment. 

“Cloud, stop,” Zack’s desperate voice pleaded, his voice significantly more gentle than it had been when he was shouting outside the bedroom door. But even those words hurt Cloud. 

Stop.

That’s what he should have done. 

He should have stopped trying to keep the controller hidden from Zack. He should have stopped their roughhousing as soon as it had begun. He should have stopped the thoughts that pulled him to do something he’d regret. 

He should have stopped himself from kissing Zack. 

The worst part was that he didn’t really regret it. He regretted where the action had landed him, but he didn’t regret the action itself. Kissing Zack had been even better than he thought, and that just made his gut clench with even more guilt. 

This was his best friend! The one and only friend Cloud had made, not because of circumstance, but because they genuinely connected. Even if this Zack didn’t share the same memories as the deceased one from Cloud’s timeline, the blonde had no doubt anymore that they were the same. The older man still smiled the same way, with his face contorting into a look that was almost goofy, but incredibly endearing. He still looked out for Cloud, making sure he took care of himself, and didn’t get hurt. He still acted like an excited puppy at the smallest of things, especially when it came to affairs such as making Cloud smile. He still stuck by Cloud’s side, even if no true memories bound them together.

And Cloud had fucked it all up in mere seconds. 

A gentle touch on the back of Cloud’s hands startled him into actually letting out a shout of surprise. Then, just as he had predicted, he struck out. 

Zack’s own grunt of pain felt like a knife on the younger man’s ear drums, his gaze finally shooting up to the black-haired man’s face in alarm. 

Zack had leaned back a bit from where he was resting on his knees, a hand covering one side of his jaw. A thin trickle of blood dribbled from Zack’s lip onto his chin, while thicker streams fell from the spot his palm had covered. 

Cloud’s fingers, that had once been covered in just his own crimson fluid, now donned the thick scent of Zack’s as well. That had hurt the smaller male’s heart enough, but what completely shattered it was the way his friend turned and smiled at him like nothing was wrong. 

“There we go -- there’s those pretty blue eyes,” Zack whispered softly between them, disregarding his injury entirely. 

Suddenly, Cloud felt a coolness on his cheeks where they had previously been heated like fire. A coolness that came when air hit water on one’s skin, and that’s when he realized, the tears he’d been trying so hard to keep locked away had escaped. He quickly turned his face away from Zack, not wanting to seem weaker than he already appeared. 

“Hey, don’t do that Cloudy. It’s fine, just a scratch is all. I shouldn’t have approached like that, so it’s my bad,” Zack tried to console, not realizing he was making a new feeling rise in Cloud. 

Anger.

“Don’t talk to me like that! Don’t treat me like that -- Like you -- like I’m…” Cloud stumbled over the words, while frustration, anger, anxiety, and guilt ripped him apart from the inside out. “Stop treating me like I’m something that needs to be fixed!” He finally yelled so loudly, that even Zack cringed at the way the tone assaulted his ears. 

Bright blue eyes shot back to stare directly into a darker pair, all of his emotions finally forcing him to lose his control. 

“Hate me, Zack! Do something! Don’t just forgive me -- hurt me back, hit me, anything!” Cloud’s speech came out in the mixed tone of a desperate plea, and pure fury. 

“You want me to hate you? To hurt you?” Zack asked, his words dead serious as he asked for an honest answer. 

“Yes-- no-- I don’t know! I don’t know what I want!” Cloud brought his blood coated fingers up to grip his blonde spikes, the red staining them. “I never know what I want! I never know what to do, or say! All I know, is that I DON’T KNOW what the fuck I’m doing!” Cloud’s voice began to crack from the sobs that were threatening to rise up in his throat, and overuse. He hardly talked as it was, and he never yelled. 

“It’s alright--” Zack began, reaching out to try and pull Cloud’s fingers out of his hair, worried too much more force would cause damage. He didn’t get to finish, however, when his hand was slapped away and Cloud abruptly stood up to tower over Zack’s crouched form. 

“Stop saying everything is alright! It’s NOT! It never has been… never.” Cloud’s voice faded into a whisper at the end, his legs feeling weak, causing him to stumble back until his shaking shoulders settled against the wall behind him. 

“I can make it alright if you just talk to me, Cloud!” Zack raised his voice back, standing up to face the blonde head on, while desperately trying to drill his words into Cloud’s head. 

“Talk?!” Cloud let out a bitter laugh, the sneer painted on his lips appearing more like a snarl than anything. “Can’t you tell by now, or have I not made it perfectly clear? I don’t know how! You all expect me to just lay out all of my shit on a silver platter for you, but I can’t do that! I don’t talk, I run! I don’t talk, I fight! I fuck everything up, because that is just what I do! Not a damn thing in my life has ever been anything but death, and destruction, endlessly piled on top of each other! And not a single fucking one of you care to think about how your pestering makes me feel! How it makes me feel when I’m forced to stay in the one place in the world I never wanted to see again! How it makes me feel when you ask me questions I can’t answer! How it makes me feel when you force me to relive things that I only wish I could bury! How it makes me feel to see your face every day, and remember that I couldn’t save you! If you gave a damn about me, Zack Fair, then you would have left me in that desert!” Cloud grew hysterical, absolutely no filter left to keep him from spilling every thought in his head. His breaths came out choked and shallow, the tears streaming down his face, in a never ending current, long forgotten by him. 

Zack was completely unaware what Cloud really meant when he said the man should have left him in the desert. In his mind, the black-haired man thought Cloud was referring to when he’d brought him to Shinra from the desert outside of Midgar. The blonde’s mind, however, was plagued only by images of Zack’s dying form, battered and bloody, laid out on the ground because of his decision to protect Cloud, rather than save himself. 

“We can’t understand how something makes you feel if we don’t know anything about you, Cloud! Even now, you’re not making any sense! When have I ever asked you to save me? When did you ever feel like you needed to save me? You don’t want me to touch you, but then you’re falling asleep on top of me. You supposedly want me to hate you, but then you kiss me?! Can’t you see how confusing it is for me -- for all of us?! I WANT to help you -- I promise I can help you, but I can’t do anything for someone who doesn’t want to be helped.” Zack alternated between shouting, and monitored aggravation. He had always been someone who fed off of the emotions and atmosphere around him. So when Cloud yelled at him, it made him want to yell back. As the one person in the room with any sense of rationality left though, he felt he needed to make a conscious effort to stay calm. He sensed the blonde was too much like him in that aspect, where he just as easily fed off of the chaos around him. 

The younger man flinched from something Zack said, the action causing more tears to spill from his squinted eyes. The black-haired man’s chest clenched painfully, but he knew there was no way he could rush getting close to Cloud while he was so worked up. 

“Easy to make that promise…” Cloud whispered, a sound like a dry heave following his words. 

“I never make a promise I can’t keep.” Zack pressed firmly, his back straightening, and his shadow covering Cloud’s smaller form. It made the hurt blonde seem frail, and vulnerable, even though Zack knew just how much damage Cloud could do if he wished to. 

Feeling as though the atmosphere around them had calmed a little more, the older man chanced a step forward. Cloud’s eyes flickered up at the movement, but he didn’t make any effort to maneuver himself away. 

“I promise, Cloud,” Zack said again.

“Stop,” Cloud practically begged, his fists pressing into the wall behind him. 

“I promise,” Zack repeated. 

Again, Cloud flinched, his lower lip trembling in a way the black-haired man had never seen before. 

The SOLDIER grew closer and closer, his movements slow, fluid, and calculated. It wasn’t until he had his hands wrapped around Cloud’s wrists, preventing the blonde from doing any more damage to himself, that he said it one last time. 

“I promise, Spike,” he whispered, before pulling Cloud’s arms around his midsection in a guided hug. Once the blonde hesitantly held on, Zack wrapped him up in his own arms -- one hand smoothing over blonde spikes, while the other pulled Cloud’s smaller frame against his own. 

Man, Zack had come in here to figure out why Cloud had kissed him, and ended up with more questions. However, he did feel he was able to understand the blonde a little better now -- understand why certain approaches worked with him, while others made him lash out. Cloud had suffered greatly, and that much became very apparent to the older man now. They had unknowingly done a lot of things wrong, even if the fault was on both sides. After all, there was merit to what Zack had said. They truly couldn’t understand how something would make Cloud feel, if the younger man didn’t tell them anything. As it was, they were left playing a guessing game -- poking at lumps in the ground, and hoping they weren’t mines ready to go off. 

Communication was extremely important, but getting that proper channel open between themselves and Cloud was going to be way harder than he thought. 

It would have to start today. As soon as he got Cloud fully settled, he was going to contact the others and have a conversation that was well overdue. 

There was one thing he was certain of though, that he wasn’t going to fail in bringing up this time. He was no longer denying his strong affection for the blonde, and knew himself and the others well enough to know there was an attraction, and protectiveness they all shared for the young man who fell into their lives. Zack wanted Cloud, not just to help him, and not just the secrets he held, but he genuinely WANTED him. So much so that the thought of him leaving made his heart feel like it had been taken into a fist. 

To not only help the blonde, but also gain his affections was going to be a challenge. Based on prior experience, Zack also knew Cloud responded well to certain levels of control being exercised over him. It was completely possible that the reason for this wasn’t because the blonde had experience in a D/s lifestyle, but because that lapse of control allowed him to feel MORE in control of his own life. Actually, not only was this possible, but it was highly likely. 

But they had to be careful.

Too tight of a grip on Cloud, and he would feel suffocated and fight to break free. Too little, and he’d slip right through their fingers. This was something that needed to be planned carefully, and with his boyfriends as a group. If all of them agreed to start efforts to court Cloud, then with all of their heads put together, and all of the information they’d gathered through their individual interactions so far, they would be able to figure out a proper course of action. 

Things were about to get very complicated.

With the level of mental exhaustion he felt now though, the only thing Zack could think about was how much he wished their kiss had lasted longer. 

Just a little longer.

\------------------------

“What’s going on puppy? As much as I love getting out of meetings, this one was rather important,” Genesis stated as he entered Sephiroth’s apartment. 

Because the meeting room he had been in was on the other side of the building, the redhead was the last to join their little gathering. After receiving Zack’s message, he had announced there were important matters that needed his urgent attention. This meeting, in particular, was minutely more significant that others for the simple fact that it was detailing his next mission. With all that had been going on in Fort Condor, they needed someone of his standing in SOLDIER to begin stabilizing things. Playing peacemaker was much more Angeal’s thing, but the raven had been the last person to investigate these odd occurrences, so it looked like Genesis was up. 

Zack’s own meeting that morning had been asking him about whether or not he wanted to take over the task. However, with Cloud virtually being Zack’s full-time assignment right now in Shinra’s eyes, it was deemed best he not take on missions that took him too far for too long. 

“Our schedules never match up unless we plan it ahead of time, and this is something we’ve been needing to talk about, that couldn’t wait any longer,” Zack replied. 

“About Cloud,” Angeal stated rather than asked, because he, and everyone else knew exactly what it was they had been needing to talk about. “Why so suddenly though?” Angeal quizzed, voicing the exact question Genesis had been about to ask as he took his seat next to the raven.

“Because I didn’t realize how deep Cloud’s problems were until today,” Zack replied, a shadow falling over his face at the memory of his encounter with Cloud. 

“Another episode?” Angeal asked the question, once again before Genesis could get a word in. 

The redhead glared at the back of his lover’s head, snatching the cup of coffee Angeal nursed out of his hands. If the older man was going to be blabbing his mouth and not letting anyone else speak, then he wouldn’t have that much use for it anyways. 

“Kinda? Well--” Zack trailed, trying to figure out where he should even begin. The best place to do so was usually the beginning though, so… “Cloud kissed me,” he announced after a moment. 

Genesis, who was normally as well mannered as they came -- especially when eating and drinking -- suddenly made a sputtering noise as he choked on his sip of Angeal’s coffee. Some of the caramel-colored liquid dripped down his chin as he coughed his way through swallowing what he could. 

Angeal, startled by both Zack’s words, and the fact that Genesis was choking, was patting the redhead’s back while pinning the youngest SOLDIER with a dumbstruck look. 

“With his fist?” Genesis finally managed to sputter out through his panting. 

Zack, who had forgotten about the wound he still wore on his cheek, ran his fingers over his jawline. 

“Well, that too, but I mean he actually kissed me,” the black-haired man replied, letting his fingers drop from his face afterwards. 

“Cloud kissed you?” Sephiroth, who had been very quiet until now, finally asked a question of his own. It was obvious in his tone that he was just as surprised as the other two, if maybe a little disbelieving. 

Zack didn’t blame him though; even he was still having a hard time believing it, and he was the one who received said kiss. 

“Yah-- but I’m sure you can picture how that ended,” Zack grumbled, leaning back in his seat with a bit of a pout pressing on his lips. 

“He ran away,” Angeal finished for him, knowing from personal experience how Cloud reacted when he felt he’d exposed too much emotion. 

Zack nodded, crossing his arms over his chest as he reminisced the image of the blonde running off. 

Genesis himself was lost in thought at this new bit of information. He’d known there was someone Cloud liked based on his reaction to their conversation earlier that same day. He never would have guessed the blonde had developed feelings for Zack though -- not with how distant he was. Maybe he’d miscalculated though. Maybe that aloof, standoffish attitude was just part of Cloud’s personality, rather than a sign of distrust. Did this mean Cloud was growing to trust Zack? 

Why did that make him feel a little… What did that make him feel? 

On one hand, the redhead hated to admit he was feeling a little glimmer of hope that maybe Cloud COULD grow a liking for them. On the other hand, he hated to admit even more that he wished it had been him who received that kiss. 

“Well, you couldn’t really call it much of a kiss,” Zack chuckled, his thumb running over his bottom lip, as if he could still feel the ghost of Cloud’s touch. “He didn’t seem like he knew what he was doing, so our lips were just pressed together. I was too shocked to try and push it further, and by the time my brain began to catch up, Cloudy had become a ‘cloud-y’ of dust. He could take his disappearing act on the road and make a good chunk of gil,” the younger joked. 

Angeal hummed his agreement, a small smile of his own upturning his lips, while Genesis’s eyes rolled. Sephiroth sat eerily still, his arms crossed over his chest, while his head was tilted downward with thoughts of his own. 

“Do you know WHY he kissed you out of the blue?” Genesis asked his next question, confusion riddling his brain. Cloud’s actions had moments like this, where they simply didn’t match his typical behavior at all. If nothing else, one could never get bored around the blonde, but it was still a little disconcerting for someone who prided themself on their ability to read people. 

“I… Have a guess,” Zack tripped over his words a bit, his head cocking to the side in a very puppy-like manner. 

“Care to share?” Genesis pressed calmly, hoping to wring whatever he could out of his lover. 

“We all know Cloud is not really the best at expressing himself -- even small shifts in the way he moves can mean a complete mood change. I think -- I hope -- it was because he has feelings he isn’t sure how to put to words. He’s a very action-based person, and to me, it almost felt like a confession that couldn’t be voiced. With his reaction though, I think it was a confession to himself too, not just me,” Zack explained, his gaze staying trained down for a few seconds, before continuing his train of thought. “But, I could be wrong. For all I know, it could’ve been a complete accident. My gut is telling me it wasn’t, but it’s not always right, so--” 

“You hope he has feelings?” Sephiroth repeated Zack’s words as a question, his features as stoic as ever as he searched Zack’s eyes. 

“Yah, I do. This is something else I think we need to talk about, because I know I’m not the only one who likes Cloud,” Zack announced bravely, making sure to make eye contact with each of his boyfriends, one at a time. 

“Well, we already know Angeal has been infatuated since the beginning,” Genesis accused, his expression daring Angeal to prove him wrong. 

“Yes, I’m fond of Cloud, but what about you, Gen? You’ve been investing an awful lot of time in someone you ‘don’t care’ about,” Angeal countered right back, not denying that Genesis was right, but also not exactly allowing the redhead a win. 

“I--” Genesis began, but stopped short, because he knew Angeal was just as right as he had been. “I don’t dislike him,” the redhead finally huffed, crossing his arms defensively over his chest. 

“Saying you don’t dislike someone is pretty much the same thing as a confession,” Zack smirked cockily at Genesis, who flipped Zack off with a glare. “What about you, Seph?” Zack asked, turning the attention to the silver-haired man, who looked like he hadn’t moved a muscle since the conversation started. 

“He’s a lot of work,” Sephiroth began, feeling a little guilty at the nervous look his response prompted on Zack’s face. The general thought back to his last encounter with Cloud, his gaze shifting to the glowing, green materia still sitting on his living room table. There was something very important he still wanted to make Cloud understand. “But he’s worth it,” Sephiroth finished, remembering his words to Cloud, and his promise that the blonde was most definitely worth it. 

“Okay, but even if we all share a similar fondness for Cloud, it doesn’t mean things will just go smoothly. For one, even if he likes Zack, we have no idea what his feelings are for the rest of us, and last time I checked, he and Ang weren’t on the best of terms.” Genesis tossed his head in Angeal’s direction, not missing the way the raven grimaced. “Secondly, even if it turns out he does grow similar emotions, we have no idea what his beliefs are on a polyamorous relationship. Today when I was speaking to him, he mentioned spending quite a bit of time in Nibelheim as a child. He very well could have been born there, and if not, he still could have picked up on some of their values. Their beliefs are very conservative in small towns, so a relationship that goes so far outside the norm may not be okay with him,” Genesis became the voice of reason with this speech. He wasn’t trying to be an ass, but he wanted to make the others understand: Just because you like someone, doesn’t mean it’ll work out. They had gotten lucky with their relationship, but that didn’t mean its development wasn’t without its flaws. 

“I see your point, and the question of his views on such a relationship could possibly be worked into a future conversation. However, Cloud is anything but ‘the norm,’ and although he is very reserved, he’s never been judgmental towards anything from what I could tell,” Angeal nodded his agreement, but also added a bit of his own thoughts to the table. 

“Cloud doesn’t exactly show strong likes or dislikes for much of anything though. He could have opinions on stuff, he just chooses not to share those thoughts,” Zack filtered in his input, 

“He’s not judgmental of anyone but himself -- harshly so,” Sephiroth chimed in as well. 

“And what of his beliefs on the TYPE of relationship we have? I’m not talking about the quantity of partners, I’m referring to our lifestyle in general,” Genesis shifted their conversation to the next wall that still stood between them, and Cloud. 

“Didn’t you say so yourself that he expresses some submissive tendencies, Gen? Not to mention his interactions between Angeal and I. Cloud definitely has typical markers for someone of the lifestyle,” Zack pointed out.

“There’s a difference between having markers for the lifestyle, and actually being willing to live in it. We could believe Cloud to be absolutely perfect for it, but in the end, the decision is his own,” Sephiroth lectured, pinning Zack with a hard look.

“It could be something we slowly introduce him to though. We’ve already been exercising a bit more of the lifestyle with Cloud than we should be, but if we discuss how to go about things, we are less likely to risk overwhelming him,” Angeal supplied, staring up at the ceiling as he went through his own thoughts. 

“Isn’t that risky too though? I mean, we don’t exactly have an instruction manual labeled ‘Cloud Strife’s Mind Map.’ With each of us, we sat down and had a long talk about what’s okay, and what’s not. With Cloud, we’d just be guessing -- I really think this dynamic is something he could benefit from, but if we fuck up, the fall out could be hell.” Zack scratched the back of his head with his growing frustration, not sure which way was the right path to go down. 

“I think we can assume anything we do, which relates to Cloud, will be a risk,” Genesis consoled Zack with a look that said he understood the younger man’s stress. 

“Damned if ya do, damned if ya don’t,” Zack nodded in the redhead’s direction, pulling a leg up so his ankle was resting on the opposite knee. 

Angeal, processing way later that his coffee had been snatched up by Genesis, took it back from him with a grunt of disapproval. The raven took a sip, and instantly grimaced when he realized it was ice cold. 

“I believe--” Genesis began, making sure he had everyone’s attention before continuing. “The first order of business should be to get Angeal and Cloud back on good terms. It won’t bode well for any of us if Cloud continues thinking Ang has it out for him.” 

“And what about our courting efforts?” Angeal asked, fully prepared to fix things with Cloud, but not sure how he should act while doing so. He wanted to make sure all of them were on the same page, this way there was less of a chance for him to fuck up again. 

“How did you court Zack?” Sephiroth answered Angeal’s question with one of his own, his gaze cool, and calculating as he regarded the raven. 

“Nuh uh, we’re not about to talk about me like I’m not in here,” Zack stopped the conversation, right as Angeal opened his mouth to reply. 

“Oh please, it’s not like it’s some big secret, puppy. Seph is just proving a point.” 

“Once again, for the second time today, IT’S. THE. PRINCIPLE. How about this, rather than asking ourselves what we should be doing, how about we set guidelines for what we shouldn’t do,” Zack desperately tried to change the course of the conversation, his face burning. 

“Rules,” Sephiroth nodded his understanding, leaning in to where his thumb and forefinger pressed against the side of his face. 

“Self-rules,” Angeal corrected, sitting back in his seat with a thoughtful look. 

“Rules that will help us not to go over the line with Spike,” Zack furthered their definition. 

“No means no,” Genesis gave the first, more obvious rule. 

“We’re not idiots, Gen. None of us would force him to do something he didn’t want to do,” Zack deadpanned, his mouth slacking a bit. 

“No, I don’t mean in a sexual manner, Zack; he’s definitely not ready for anything like that, and I don’t think we are either. I mean if we try to push Cloud into doing something -- anything at all -- and he flat out says no, then we stop trying to force it. Trust me, when he gets pushed past his limits, he can do real damage. Not just to you, but also to himself,” Genesis explained, remembering very distinctly what happened when he pushed Cloud too far. 

“I agree that we shouldn’t push Cloud more than he can handle, however, if he is doing something harmful to himself, I’m not going to allow that,” Angeal countered. 

“Yah, I second that,” Zack agreed, raising his hand in the air as if he was voting. 

“First rule,” Sephiroth announced, his voice holding authority, and bringing everyone’s attention to him. “We cease all advancements towards Cloud if he says no, or shows very clear discomfort. If his behavior becomes self-destructive, then it can be assumed Cloud is not in the right frame of mind to make a decision for his own well-being. In which case, we exercise whatever control we have to in order to stop said behavior. Is this rule understood, and accepted?” 

There was a symphony of yes’s and nods throughout the room, no one opposed to the revised rule set in place by the silver-haired man. 

“For the second, we should report to each other as often as possible, so we can make sure we are communicating properly,” Angeal stated.

“What if there’s something I don’t want to share?” Genesis asked, his tone full of humor, though you could tell it was a serious question. 

“Cloud isn’t a competition, Genesis. This is not a game to see who can bed him first; it is a mutual effort amongst us all to help him, and to court him,” Sephiroth lectured the redhead, his eyes narrowing a bit in the younger man’s direction. 

“I’m not saying it is. I’m simply stating that some things are private, and not everything is meant to be shared -- even amongst partners. If Cloud tells me something in confidence, that he only wishes for me to know, then I’m not betraying that trust. I wouldn’t do that with any of you, and if we are trying to bring him into our little circle, then I’m not about to do it to him.” Genesis didn’t mention that he had, in a way, thought of Cloud as a competition at one point. A competition to see who could wring the most information out of the blonde before Shinra locked him down. Now, he simply wanted to sooth the wild screams inside of him, that told him Shinra, nor anyone else, could snatch Cloud away. 

Possessiveness was not a good look on the redhead… But oh how good it felt to imagine Cloud, safe and sound in his apartment. Kept safely where no one but himself, and his boyfriends could access the sweet little thing. 

Genesis jerked his head to the side, subtly trying to shake the thoughts and images from his mind before they became too dangerous. 

“Gen might be right about that--” Zack trailed, trying to find the words to back up his claim. “Important stuff can be shared, like when Spike has an episode, or if, like today, something more physical happens. But I know we each have our own ways of…” Zack couldn’t find the word he was looking for, his face scrunching with frustration. 

“Interacting?” Angeal supplied. 

“Yes!” Zack pointed to the raven, his eyes lighting up a bit as that previously aggravated look fled from his features. ”We all have our own ways of interacting with Cloud, just like we do with each other. And I don’t think sharing personal details about every little thing will help -- especially if he finds out.”

“It is the details we earn; details which are gifted. If he says something important, for example, something which might point to what’s been going on with the reactors, then that’s one thing. But if he tells me something personal about himself, I’m keeping it between him and I, because I’ll assume it was meant to be as such,” Genesis elaborated on Zack’s thoughts.

The two of them were trying to make Sephiroth and Angeal see things from their point of view, and could only hope it worked. For both Zack and Genesis knew that once rules were set down, nothing good would come of breaking them.

“Then how about this. Rule number two: important information about Cloud or other matters, which we all need to be aware of, should be shared. Personal information, which has been told through confidence, or trust, can be kept between Cloud, and whomever he shares with.” Angeal amended the previous rule he’d set, making it much more specific so that it catered to the group effort, and to Zack and Genesis’s concerns. 

“Yes,” Zack nodded earnestly, liking the new changes.

He was soon followed by a mutter of agreement from Genesis, who appeared much more pleased, and a nod from Sephiroth. 

“No Cloud hogging,” Zack announced a rule of his own, casting a not so subtle glance in Genesis’s direction. 

“He’s in your apartment twenty-four hours a day, Zack. If anyone is ‘Cloud hogging,’ it’s you,” The redhead refuted, his lips pulling back from his teeth in a half-snarl. 

“He’s always in the guest room, even if he is staying at my place. So it’s not like I get to see him all of the time. You’re the one who just came in and kidnapped him today, without so much as sending me a text,” Zack argued back, sitting up in his seat defensively. 

“Calm down,” Angeal ordered, placing a hand on Genesis’ shoulder so he could push the younger man back into his own seat. He gave Zack a hard look, the one his former student knew as the ‘do as I say or you’ll be in trouble later,’ look. “What are you two going on about this time?” The raven asked after the tension settled down a bit. 

“The puppy is only yipping because I brought Cloud to my place today for a couple of hours. It was just to tend to our swords, but Zack here is acting like I took him on a three week vacation to Costa Del Sol,” Genesis defended, jerking his hand fluidly in Zack’s direction. 

“He could have at least sent me a text! I just came home and Cloud was gone,” Zack argued, glaring at Genesis from where he sat. 

“Zack, it was just down the hall, and not the end of the world -- check your security system once in a while and you might’ve known. Genesis, you know how all of us value communication. Next time, please just send a quick text to let Zack know what you’re doing,” Angeal chastised the both of them, shutting the argument down almost as soon as it began.

Genesis and Zack were clashing forces in their relationship. The two of them loved each other greatly, that much was very obvious to all of them. However, their personalities often caused them to clash. They were both complete opposites, and painfully similar at the same time. While Zack was a loud ball of excitement, and expressiveness, Genesis was rather passive, and refined. They were evenly matched in their stubbornness though, which is what often led to their arguments. 

“I have a suggestion,” Sephiroth joined in, subtly working with Angeal to help diffuse some of the tension still hanging in the room. “Cloud has been staying in the guest room of Zack’s apartment because of the circumstances. Now that things have settled somewhat, what if we have Cloud alternate arrangements throughout the week?” 

“That’s-- not a bad idea actually,” Genesis sounded like he was going to argue, before his processing of the words led him to considering the possibility. 

“You don’t think it would be difficult on Cloud to have his environment changed so much? He seems like he values consistency,” Angeal seemed hesitant, casting a dubious look in the silver-haired man’s direction. 

“On the contrary, I think it will be good for him. Cloud is an action based individual, who is probably very used to changes in his life, and things being thrown at him. This quiet, monotonous life that has been forced upon him is more than likely making him feel more on edge. It will also give him the chance to become more accustomed to interacting with each of us, and prevent, as Zack put it, ‘Cloud hogging,’” Sephiroth explained, his lips twitching upward at Zack’s terminology. 

“Changing so much and so often might be a problem though,” Angeal stated more firmly, not completely liking the idea.

“We could do a two day system? For example, since we’re trying to get Angeal and Cloud to make up, he could stay with Angeal tonight and tomorrow night, then stay with someone else for the next couple of days,” Zack offered, even as he looked a little disgruntled by the idea of Cloud leaving his apartment at all. 

“If we keep with the same pattern, let’s say Angeal, myself, Seph, then Zack, for two day increments, that should be a comfortable level of consistency.” Genesis nodded, tracing his lower lip while he considered it. 

“And if one of us is busy?” Angeal voiced his last concern, but seemed like he too was prepared to accept this new idea. 

“Then he goes with the next person whom he was supposed to stay with. This also will allow Zack to start working again.” Genesis’s last sentence hit home with everyone, as it was no secret to any of them how restless Zack was becoming without taking on proper assignments. While watching Cloud, he’d basically been limiting himself to tasks more suited for third and second class SOLDIERs. Tasks which didn’t send him too far, for too long. 

“So rule three: No Cloud hogging -- Spike stays with whoever he is supposed to, unless that person is busy,” Zack announced his own revised rule, and sounds of agreement once again broke out amongst the other three. 

“Gen, myself, and Zack have all set our own rules. Do you have any, Seph?” Angeal asked the silver-haired man. 

Even though Sephiroth had been the one to give the final revision on Genesis’s rule, he still hadn’t really voiced any of his own. So before they moved on, Angeal wanted to make sure the aloof male didn’t have one he wanted to share. 

“One,” Sephiroth stated after a short stretch of silence, jerking up the pointer finger on one hand to enunciate the word. “There is to be no showing of favoritism. Yes, we are putting a bit more of our time and effort into Cloud for obvious reasons. However, if there are any signs of feelings growing more for one person than another, then things must be amended.” 

“Favoritism is the death of multiple-partner relationships,” Genesis nodded his agreement, knowing this rule was not up for debate like the others had been. 

Zack and Angeal, although not having anything to voice themselves, understood this as well, and agreed. 

Favoritism, even favoritism that was only thought to exist, truly was the death of a polyamorous relationship. 

\-------------------

The sirens were blaring, and everywhere a young, third class SOLDIER looked, he could see nothing but decay. The sounds of the rise and fall shrieking pounded on his eardrums, obscuring his ability to hear much else aside from the shouts and screams around him. The siren and the cries of agony soon melted together to become a horrifying ring in his ears. 

The stench filling the air was thick, and putrid, so much so that he could almost taste it -- the smell of rot, heavy with bile, and the coppery tinges of blood. It was as if the dead carcass of an animal had been left out under the sun for days, and then covered in some of the sludge from Junon’s waters. It left a swampy taste on his tongue, and made him gag into the dirt he was crawling across. 

His arms dug into the rocky terrain, but he could hardly feel the pain of it through the overload on the rest of his senses. He drug the rest of his body behind him, his knees bending and shifting as he fought to stay low to the ground. His brown hair stuck to his face with sweat and grime, his dark-green eyes, glowing faintly with fresh mako, shifting nervously about him. 

This young SOLDIER's name was Mekka Bevarly, and he was currently one of the few surviving witnesses remaining in Fort Condor. His enemy, he could not see, but he could hear them through the tormented throats of his dying companions. 

A thick, black, tar-like substance littered the ground in puddles and raunchy rivers all over the terrain. And as Mekka floundered across the floor, his stomach being cut up by the sharp rocks beneath his body, he made sure to avoid any trace of the mysterious goop. 

Some of it had bubbled up from the ground, while some of it still oozed from the nose, mouth, eyes, ears, and skin of the dead. He didn’t know what this black slime was -- he only knew that if the slightest bit leaked from your body, it meant a sure death sentence. 

It all started yesterday, when a second class SOLDIER’s nose began to bleed. The color of the liquid, which would normally be crimson, was uncharacteristically dark. No one thought much of it though, and the SOLDIER had been taken to a medical advisor for some cotton to stop the bleeding. Not long after, however, more and more people developed bloody noses. Their blood was pitch black, and smelled nothing of copper. Instead, the scent that plagued the noses of the mako enhanced was akin to a rotting corpse. 

By the time anyone truly became concerned, the first to be infected had begun to bleed black from his ears. Then it poured from his mouth, choking him until black tears began to fall. He suffocated in agony as the sweat pouring from his skin caused a sheen of grey to spread over his body. And, in the end, he died crying, confused, terrified, and in an obvious amount of incurable pain. 

One at a time, everyone who previously presented with a bloody nose began to meet the same end, as more people began developing their own early symptoms. 

Three hours…

Three hours was all it took, between the time the infection presented itself, and the time the host died. 

Panic had spread, as the higher ups desperately tried to reach out for help at Shinra. However, Fort Condor’s reactor -- the sole reason for their being here in the first place -- shut down not long after people began to realize something terribly wrong was happening. The communication systems were all over the place, and proper connection could not be established with the home-city. 

And so people continued to die left and right, their bodies lying strewn about all over the place. Eventually, the roads entering and exiting Fort Condor were shut down completely, and the area was put under lockdown. It was a complete quarantine, where the people on the outside were simply waiting for the rest of them to die. 

Mekka understood, in some way, that it was better to close off the borders and prevent an outbreak, than risk it spreading throughout Gaia. He understood, but that didn’t mean he was okay with the decision. This was his life, and now he was almost positive he was about to lose it. Shinra may think him expendable, but he was so young, and had so much to live for. There were so many things he never got to do, or see. He’d never gotten married, or sat down to have drinks with his friends. He’d just gotten into SOLDIER, and was barely even old enough to be here. He didn’t want to die! 

It just wasn’t fair. 

He wasn’t even supposed to be at Fort Condor in the first place. It was a last minute assignment for him to bring some files from Midgar to the head of operations here. Mekka had only accepted the task because he was still creating a name for himself in SOLDIER, and couldn’t afford to deny his commanding officer’s orders. 

He didn’t want to be here! He’d never wanted to be here…

They didn’t even know what the disease was, or if it was contagious. For all they knew, it could just be some strange form of radioactive poisoning. By forcing those still alive to stay here, they were signing off on their death sentence. How could they be okay with that!?

The sound of thumping broke through the sounds of the sirens blaring overhead. At first, Mekka had no idea what this sound was, and pressed his ear closer to the ground in an attempt to pick up vibrations. His heart thudded loudly in his chest, as he quickly pulled himself up against a boulder in an attempt at hiding. The thumping noise was the sound of footsteps hitting the ground, and they were getting closer and closer to the young man. 

The closer the person got to where the brunette was hiding, the more sound he could pick up. The frantic sounds of gagging and choking, and the wet plipping of liquid pouring from the body. It was infected, and they were heading right in Mekka’s direction. 

His breath shuddered in his throat, tears leaking from the corners of his eyes. Louder and louder they grew, until the footsteps halted right on the other side of the rock the young SOLDIER hid behind. Mekka brought a hand up to cover his mouth, trying to fight back the sobs of absolute terror threatening to break free. He watched with fearful eyes as black, goopy ribbons trailed down the surface of the boulder, one line of the liquid dripping dangerously close to his knee. He pulled his legs closer to his chest, curling himself up into a small ball in hopes that none of the infection would fall upon him. 

The gargled choking continued, the wet sounds of more and more of that black tar pouring out onto the rock. Mekka was still safe though, for none of it had touched him. He just had to wait it out -- just a little longer, and he could crawl as far away from here as possible. Just a little longer!

Slowly, the choking sounds began to die out and grow softer, and Mekka’s breathing matched it, becoming slower and steadier. The tears still leaked from his eyes, for he knew this was one of his comrades, one of the men he had probably shared lunch with, and even laughed with. A man he might’ve died with in battle, whom he now ignored as he listened to his last breaths. This was not the battle he had signed up for. 

No. 

The brunette had signed up for sword fights, and battles of glory on a field of companions. He had signed up for the clangs of metal, and the shifting of gravel under his feet as he countered his opponent. For the shouts of victory after a battle was won, and mournful silence as they remembered those they had lost. 

He hadn’t signed up for-- for THIS. The sounds of his companions choking on their own breaths, and the stench of decay filling the air. The terror filling him as the infection spread, and the powerless he felt knowing it was an enemy he could not fight. This was torture, as he was basically locked up in this god forsaken place, and forced to simply await his death. 

Mekka let the last few tears roll down his cheeks as the sounds of the dying man finally faded out. He thought he was in the clear, preparing to resume his crawling across the ground. Perhaps if he could make it to the edge of Fort Condor, he could find an opening in the borders that had been put up to trap them inside. If he could just find a spot to slip through, then he might be able to live! 

He thought it might be okay…

He hadn’t expected to hear one last, loud, forceful cough bubble up from the mouth of the man on the other side of the boulder. A cough that caused a mass of black liquid to spew from his lips, and spill all over Mekka’s head. 

The young boy cried out in horror, his subtlety previously forgotten as he stood up and began to run. Panicked noises escaped him while he desperately tried to wipe the liquid away. It stung his eyes, and burned his tongue when it slipped into his mouth. The texture was sticky, and slimy at the same time, feeling impossible to do anything more than smudge across his skin in his cleansing efforts. 

Unable to watch where he was going, the young brunette ran right into another formation of rock, several meters from where he had been hiding. His head span, as his eyes rolled into the back of his head, and though he fought to keep his consciousness, Mekka was eventually shrouded in a blissful darkness. A darkness from which he almost hoped he wouldn’t awaken.

\-------------------

“The sickness is spreading--” 

A soft, gentle voice filled Cloud’s head, even as the blonde couldn’t seem to open his eyes and face the owner. 

“The… sickness?” He managed to force out, making sure the confusion was evident in his voice. The words were quickly swallowed by the void surrounding him, until all he heard was an echoed whisper. 

“Tar as black as soot -- pain, and decay in every living being.” 

The voice whispered back, this time much closer than before, until it sounded as if the woman was standing right behind him. 

Cloud recognized the owner, yet he couldn’t name them. It was like a faded dream, which he could not seem to pull up from his subconscious. He did know the sickness which she described though, and could feel the echoed remnants of pain in his left arm. 

“Geostigma,” he replied to the woman, flinching when he felt a gentle touch on his cheek. 

“A life has been given, for a life to be reborn. The responsibility is your own, but you will never suffer alone -- not again, Cloud,” the woman consoled, her touch like a mothers on his skin. 

“Whose life was given? Who are you?” Cloud asked, turning his face into the touch, only for it to disappear seconds later. “What is my responsibility?” He asked another question, hoping for any kind of answer. 

He thought he wasn’t going to receive a response, his head jerking from side to side as he tried to seek out the owner of the voice again. What felt like hours passed, before he felt a strong presence on his left side, a petite hand gripping his forearm stronger than they should be able to. 

“Jenova,” was whispered right into his ear, a shiver tracing up his spine from both fear, and shock. The echo remained, playing over and over in the void, while the grip on his arm squeezed tighter. It wasn’t until he grimaced that the woman finally released her hold, her presence disappearing completely, though her words still echoed in the air. 

Jenova.

Cloud woke with a start, something inside of him not feeling… right. He shot into a sitting position on the bed, sweat covering his whole body. A few of his blonde spikes were plastered to his forehead, as his chest heaved with panicked breaths. 

He managed to stumble up into a slow stride, heading right for the exit to Zack’s apartment. He was searching for something, but he didn’t know what it was. All Cloud knew was that he needed to find it, otherwise the darkness would swallow him again. 

All but slamming the apartment door open, Cloud stumbled out into the hall, his body pressed against the side of the wall. 

“Hey!” A voice called out behind him, though the blonde paid no attention to it, for it wasn’t what he was searching for. 

Cloud continued to trip over his feet, his side leaning completely on the wall for support by now, sweat pouring from his body. Each breath came out short and sharp, clearly painful and barely doing their job at providing his lungs with oxygen. 

“Yo! You good, blondie?” The man called out again, closing in quickly. 

Where was he going? What was he doing?

A hand clamped down on Cloud’s shoulder, pulling a strangled shout from his mouth as he turned and slapped it away quickly. The jerky movement caused him to stumble back, and his ass might’ve hit the floor if he hadn’t been caught beforehand. 

Cloud found his back pressing into a warm chest, which was broad, and very muscled. 

“Cloud? What are you doing out here? Are you alright?” The owner of the amazing muscles asked. 

More questions he couldn’t answer -- more questions he couldn’t even process in his fogged mind. 

He needed to find it. Where was it?

Blue eyes trailed up to look at the owner of the hand that had clamped down on his shoulder. Red hair cascaded in a thin ponytail down down the back of a thin frame, while two red, curved marks framed turquoise eyes. 

“I-- I know you,” Cloud gasped out between pants, his brows crinkling with frustration and confusion. Why couldn’t he remember? What was wrong with him?

“Me? Not likely,” The redhead chuckled, leaning in a little closer to see what was up with the blonde. 

“What do you need, Reno?” The deep voice behind him asked, his body being jerked further backwards, and away from the redhead. 

Reno… He knew that name. Where had he heard that name? 

“Reno…” Cloud tried saying the name, tried forcing the memories back inside. 

“Yah?” The redhead responded to his name, completely ignoring the question of the man holding Cloud. “Did you drug him or something?” Reno asked, glancing up over Cloud’s head.

“Of course I didn’t drug him, Zack and I were just coming to check on him,” was the reply.

Hands grabbed the sides of Cloud’s cheeks, forcing him to look into dark-blue eyes that were so deep, they were almost purple in color. 

“Spike, what’s wrong?” A concerned voice asked. A voice that caused a painful twinge in his chest. 

“Reno, and Rude,” Cloud spoke of the first memory he was able to pull forth, his heart thrumming from excitement over the fact that he remembered something. 

“You know Reno and Rude?” The man in front of him asked, squishing his cheeks to try and get him to concentrate. 

The harder Cloud dug for memories, the worse his breathing and sweating became, his body nearly slipping out of the grasp of the large man behind him. 

“Is he sick, Ang?” The man holding his cheeks asked, his voice dripping with even more concern. 

Cloud was turned around in the grasp, his chin taken in a gentle grip, before his head was turned from side to side. 

“I… I don’t know,” an equally concerned voice responded to the question. 

He needed to remember! Cloud had to know who these people were! What was he doing here? What was he looking for? What was it?

WHAT WAS IT?

“Jenova,” Cloud suddenly whispered, his eyes growing wide with realization. 

Then, as if a freight train had slammed into his brain and knocked everything back into place, his memories flooded forth. 

Angeal: that’s who held him -- the man with angry brows, but a kind personality.

Reno: the turk he remembered he was trying to avoid, who had a loud and personality, but never made the days boring. 

And Zack: His best friend, with the most puppy-like personality, biggest heart, and brightest smile. The man he’d kissed not hours before. 

“Jenova?” Angeal quizzed, his face coming into focus at last when Cloud looked up at his features. 

The blonde quickly shoved himself out of the grip, and stumbled a bit as he realized his balance wasn’t completely back. 

“Cloud?” Zack asked, stepping forwards to catch him if he fell, his eyes betraying all of the concern he felt. 

“Has there been anything strange going on lately?” Cloud blurted, ignoring Zack’s inquiry about his well being, and hoping his dream had been just that -- a dream. 

Everyone in the space froze, glances bouncing around the blonde, but none falling directly on him. The avoidance of the topic didn’t help to sooth the anxiety filling Cloud’s entire being.

“Strange how?” Angeal was the first to say anything, asking the blonde to be more specific. 

“Strange like… maybe there’s been some problems with reactors, or-- or strange illnesses. Any weird measurements taken from the lifestream?” Cloud, very hesitantly, elaborated. 

Again, looks exchanged, but no answers, and Cloud was growing more anxious by the second. 

“Not that I know of… Should we be worried if we experience these things?” Angeal replied, nearly jumping out of his skin when Cloud whipped around and pinned him with a serious look. A look that he couldn’t quite read, but that he recognized as housing both fear and harshness. 

“Yes,” the blonde confirmed, not an ounce of denial, or doubt in his tone. 

“Why should we be worried, Cloud?” Zack asked this time, the softness of his tone being replaced with a harsher seriousness. 

The blonde looked at his best friend, not sure if answering was the right thing to do. He’d already said enough that he could potentially be incriminated for any future events, should they transpire. However, the side of Cloud that refused to let innocent people suffer and die forced one word from his lips. 

“Carnage,” the younger man stated, his voice hard, as if he were ready for a fight. His body was shaking with strain, as his muscles still hadn’t caught up with his cognitive state yet. 

The blonde didn’t miss the way glances were exchanged again, as if the men were communicating with their eyes. Perhaps they were, because Cloud felt very out of the loop, and was sure his frustration was showing. 

“Alright -- alright Cloudy, don’t worry. There hasn’t been anything like that from what I have been told, so how about you Ang and I go inside and uh, eat or something?” Zack tried, shooing Reno away behind Cloud’s back when he went to grab the blonde’s arm and guide him to the apartment. 

They weren’t listening to him…

They weren’t taking him seriously…

If things went south, they couldn’t say Cloud hadn’t warned them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song -- Dancing With Your Ghost by: Sasha Sloan


	18. Cover Art

Hey guys! This isn’t an update, though you can anticipate that soon! I wanted to share with you all a roughly done cover for this book. Though it isn’t amazing or anything, I suddenly got the inspiration and went for it haha. I might put it on the first chapter later as a link, but we’ll see. ^^ thank you all for your comments, and I’ll try to reply to them as soon as possible! Originally, I wasn’t actually going to post this, as I think it’s not my best work, and it was just for fun, but then I decided to just go for it and post haha. 

Cover art link: https://www.instagram.com/p/CF8tTgzArFR/


	19. Amnesia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud tries to settle in to his new arrangement with the four, his first night being spent with Angeal, who tries his best to amend things. Ark is scheming against someone, but it may not be who you think, but he's smooth enough to get things done. Genesis has a hard time swallowing the scene at Fort Condor, and is prepared to tear everyone who was responsible to the ground. Reno and Rude have a job to do, but Reno is ever the talkative one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! So this note is probably going to be a bit long, because I wanted to answer some questions you guys have been asking me, and because I wanted to explain why it took me so long to update. The past week and a half has been chaotic. I was swamped with both school work, and going to work (every shift felt like it lasted a million years T^T). So by the time I got a chance to breathe, I really just wanted to sleep. I also drove down and visited my Grandmother for a few days as well, just to clear my head. So yah, I’m doing much better now!
> 
> So this brings me to the questions. I’m just gonna kinda go down the line, and answer them as best as I can. I apologize if I missed, or didn’t get to yours, and feel free to leave me a comment down below with any questions you may have. 
> 
> Is my Cloud a virgin in this story? Yes. I felt like, based on the way I write Cloud, and his personality as a whole (and also depending on how you viewed that one Cloud/Tifa scene at the Golden Saucer, which I choose to ignore entirely), I felt it likely that he would be a virgin. I also believe this adds more to be lost by him, and more to be gained by you, the readers, for Cloud’s discovery of his own sensuality. *coughs* we may or may not get a Cloud masturbation scene soon *coughs*
> 
> The topic of Cloud’s escape plan, is this still going to happen? So, I always struggle to answer questions like this (and this one has been recurring), when it comes to big plot points in the story. I will not say the events that lead to it, when it will happen, or if he will be successful, but yes, Cloud will have his badass escape moment. I hope that was enough for you guys, and didn’t reveal more than you wanted. 
> 
> Is Reno somehow his future self too? Hmm, I don’t know. I mean, we didn’t see what happened to Reno and Rude after Cloud, and you guys will be getting a wide variety of character perspective as the story gets deeper and more complicated. With my stories, you really have to look at the subtle clues I give you. I’m a teasing writer (or a bully, as my friend calls me lol) so the smallest of details, some of which I was so happy a few of you have been picking up on, can give away big things. Or, at least, they can hint to major things, or events leading up to major things. My stories are often full of different perspectives and working parts that start out separated, and converge into a bigger picture, like one big puzzle. All of this will eventually come together, and you’ll just have a moment like “ooooh, I totally get it now, this makes so much sense!” MANY of you have made accurate guesses, though I obviously won’t tell you you’re correct for the sake of not spoiling the story. 
> 
> Is Aerith the one referenced as to have taken Cloud’s place? Aerith is dead in this timeline, isn’t she? Well, I guess we’ll have to wait and see after we get more details from Zack about the mystery surrounding Aeirth’s death. :)
> 
> Okay, I don’t think I can answer anymore of your questions, without revealing too much. >~< I’m sorry! 
> 
> Thank you guys for all of you sweet comments about my cover art! It really made me feel happy. :)
> 
> **WARNINGS: Mild mentions and implications of D/s dynamic, mentions of sexual activity (kinda, but not really lol) Hojo (that's right, the devil in a lab coat is back! Grab your pitch forks people!), Graphic and very tragic depictions of death, lots of feels, big plot point revealed at the end so be prepared ** 
> 
> You know the drill amazing people, if you think I missed a warning, let me know! Happy reading :3

There's a house on the hills

And it knows who you are

Sold your soul for a pill

To see how it could feel

Dive into your green eyes

Don't know what I will find

There's a pain in your heart

Somebody tore you apart

\---------------------

Cloud, for the first time ever, stood in the middle of Angeal’s apartment. He’d now seen all of the men’s homes, except for Sephiroth’s of course, but he was in no hurry to be locked in a room with the silver-haired vision of his nightmares. 

The blonde wasn’t too surprised to find Angeal’s scent coating the clean, warm space, however, it wasn’t nearly as overwhelming as Genesis’s and Zack’s homes. It was muskier, and thicker -- one certainly couldn’t mistake it for anything other than being purely male -- but it was also clean and crisp. Out of all of them, the raven’s scent was the heaviest, and most rustically natural. If Cloud was an animal scenting for its mate, Angeal’s trails would scream “powerful protector.”

“Why am I really here?” Cloud finally willed himself to concentrate on the question he’d been meaning to ask. 

The more accurate question should have been “why did I agree to be here in the first place?” But that would probably just get him a disapproving look. This way, he could try and make out their exact motives for this new game of “pass the prisoner.” 

Angeal, who had done little more than glance at Cloud from time to time as he went about settling into his apartment, fully turned to face the blonde. 

“Well, there are several reasons, so I can give you the short and sweet response, or the longer, truthful one.” Angeal’s version of a smile, more often than not, was a simple, lopsided grin. The image of it was rather charming, and very befitting of a man who was the epitome of masculinity. At the same time, that sort of macho, confident vibe grated on Cloud’s nerves. 

“I prefer honesty,” Cloud replied, his arms crossed over his chest defensively while he still refused to move away from the doorway. He’d only agreed to this thing in the first place because of Zack’s puppy eyes, and the fact that Cloud felt he owed it to his friend. It also helped with the overwhelming guilt and awkwardness, that now felt suffocating when he was in the same room as the black-haired man. 

Angeal’s smirk faltered for the barest fraction of a second, his gaze focussed on fixing up a scattered stack of documents and folders on his living room table. 

“The honest answer--” The raven trailed for a second, the amount of time he was taking to compose his thoughts mildly frustrating. “We want the opportunity to get to know you a bit better, and I personally feel like I have caused you stress. It wasn’t intentional, but I think you took our last conversation the wrong way,” Angeal finished speaking and organizing the mess on the table at the same time. 

The disorganized clump of paper was now arranged in a neat stack from the largest documents to the smallest. Though Cloud had never been a neat freak, he could appreciate the aesthetically pleasing sight. 

“I don’t think I misunderstood anything,” the younger man stated blandly, with the slightest bite in his tone. 

“I disagree. You seem to think I was calling you a burden, and threatening to lock you up for the slightest misstep, but that was not what I was trying to say…” Angeal almost looked embarrassed for a moment, a tiny tinge of pink painting his cheeks. “Even if it was a threat, I wouldn’t have really sent you to a prison cell, Cloud. There was a lot of stress in the three of us at the time, and I acted based on my emotions in the moment. For that, I apologize.” 

“Sephiroth said the same thing,” Cloud mumbled, his shoulders a little less tense than they had been previously, even if his arms were still crossed over his chest. 

“Sephiroth said what?” Angeal quizzed, a little annoyed by the fact that the silver-haired general had been talking about him. 

“You can get over-emotional, and you would never actually have the heart to lock me up,” Cloud spoke, almost with a twinge of cocky amusement in his voice. It was clear enough that he was amused by, not just Sephiroth’s words, but also by how accurate they were. 

Angeal didn’t look too pleased, but after a moment or two he merely sighed in defeat, his broad shoulders deflating. 

“Then why are you still upset if you already knew I didn’t mean what I said?” Angeal asked, his gaze accusing. 

“Who says I knew? Just because ‘Shinra’s great general’ says something is true, doesn’t mean it is,” Cloud shot back defensively, matching the raven’s stare with a sharp glare. 

“So Sephiroth could tell you it’s midday and the sky is blue, and you wouldn’t believe him?” Angeal asked, his tone changing into something more humorous. 

“Until I’ve seen it with my own eyes, no,” Cloud affirmed, his head nodding stubbornly. 

Angeal broke out into a soft bout of laughter, one of his hands smoothing down across his face. 

“You really are something else, Cloud. Is it Sephiroth, specifically, who you wouldn’t believe, or would you take someone else’s word for it? Say, Zack?” Angeal quizzed, trying to make sure he kept the question subtle enough, lest Cloud find out he knew about Zack and the blonde’s kiss. 

In some ways, Cloud looked a lot like a frazzled child when he was thinking of a way to answer a question. Sometimes, if one looked close enough, they could tell if they were about to be fed the truth, or a mess of pretty lies. In this case, however, Angeal didn’t need to look close to know what answer was the accurate one. His only hope was that Cloud would be honest with him, otherwise he wouldn’t know whether or not to trust the blonde moving forwards. 

“I would believe Zack,” Cloud finally responded truthfully, much to Angeal’s satisfaction. 

“What about Gen?” Angeal quizzed right away, now truly curious what Cloud’s new response might be. 

Cloud’s scoff was almost instantaneous, his bottom lip subconsciously sucked between gnawing teeth. 

“I-- would probably believe Genesis. He doesn’t seem like the type of person to lie about something so plain. If he were going to lie, it would be about something elaborate for the sake of gaining leverage,” Cloud confirmed, revealing a lot about how his thought process was working. 

With Zack, it was as if Cloud just had blind faith, whereas with Sephiroth, Cloud just held pure distrust. Those two reactions were made based on emotional connection, and repulsion. With Genesis, however, Cloud began to grow calculating, and drew his conclusions based on personal experience rather than feelings for the individual. 

“And me?” Angeal dared to force the question out, Cloud surely already expecting it. 

“Why do you want to know? I won’t sugar coat my answer just because I’m talking about you to your face,” Cloud asked back, his head tilting to the side in a very inquisitive way. It wasn’t the adorable tilt like you’d see in Zack, or perhaps in Cloud when his defenses were down. This tilting of the blonde’s head was predatory, as if he were making sure Angeal knew he would still bite back, regardless of whose home he was in. 

“Since you said you’d prefer honesty, I’ll be honest with you, I want to know how much trust you have for me. I figure this method of asking is less painful for both of us, and much more honest. Your answer will give me mine,” Angeal stated, sitting on a stool in front of the bar counter separating the kitchen from the living room. 

Cloud still stood, though he had allowed himself to step a bit further into the apartment. He didn’t want the raven to think his guard was dropped completely, but he also was beginning to feel weird standing in the doorway. 

“If you told Zack the sky was blue, rather than me, I would believe you. If you told me directly, right now, then I probably wouldn’t. To me, Angeal, you are the type to lie based on circumstance, not necessarily for gain like Genesis, but instead to cover your own ass. I do believe, though, that you would never lie to Zack. Even if you had to withhold the truth from him, and beat around the bush by saying something like ‘the sky is pretty today,’ you wouldn’t outright lie to him.” Cloud finished, his response causing Angeal’s curiosity to pique even higher. 

“And you know I wouldn’t lie to Zack because--?” The raven trailed, wondering how much Cloud knew about his relationship with his former protege. 

“Because you care about him, and hurting Zack is the same thing as hurting yourself.” The words coming from the blonde were stated like a fact, rather than a guess. 

Angeal didn’t want to press much harder. Cloud was like a permanently tight-strung rubber band, and one never knew when, or what it would take for him to snap. However, he did want to say one more thing before changing the topic entirely. 

“Zack is important to me, and I can’t help but feel he might be important to you as well. You look to him like he holds all of the answers, and even today, you didn’t agree to come with me until he pressed the matter. You obviously trust him much more than the rest of us, but why?” Angeal asked, taking in the sound of Cloud’s breath catching in his throat, and the way his scent shifted from bitter defensiveness, to completely sour apprehension. 

“Zack is… my friend,” Cloud conceded, clearly not willing to give up any more than that. 

Angeal still took the response he did receive as a well-earned reward, and personal victory. He’d peel back all of those defenses like the layers of a handcrafted candy, until he got to the sweet core. He couldn’t stop from wondering, what flavor would he taste there?

“Alright, I’ll take it,” Angeal smiled warmly, feeling relief when he saw Cloud visibly relax. “Go take a shower, and settle in a bit, and I’ll put something together for dinner,” Angeal ordered, pointing in the direction where his bathroom would be located. 

The structure of the apartments were relatively the same, even if the decor was different. Cloud had a general idea of where the bathroom would be, but… 

He didn’t really like the idea of being so exposed in Angeal’s apartment. Even if the blonde were protected behind the bathroom doors, the idea of taking a shower here made him feel a bit anxious. Fuck it, he went weeks sometimes without a shower in the delivery business, and hadn’t even gone anywhere today. He could wait until he either had a chance to run back over to Zack’s place for a few, or was more comfortable -- if the latter ever happened, that is. 

“It’s fine, I think I just want to go to bed,” Cloud tried, averting his gaze from Angeal under the weight of that disapproving stare. 

“You’ll feel gross getting into bed without washing up first, and I’m not going to let you sleep without eating. You don’t eat nearly enough to keep up with the enhancements you have, and I’m surprised you haven’t wasted away already if this is how you take care of yourself,” the raven complained, his eyes calculating. 

“I’m used to going without meals sometimes, it’s really not as big of a deal as you all like to make it out to be,” Cloud argued, making his way to the couch. 

“First off, I’m not going to have you sleeping on the couch. Like Zack, I have a guest bedroom where you can sleep going forwards. Secondly, that was then and this is now, go take a shower, and then please eat something before you rest,” Angeal pressed, throwing in the ‘please,’ in hopes that he wouldn’t come off too aggressively. 

“Are you my father now?” Cloud asked, his tone deadly, level, and calm. 

“No, I’m not your father, Cloud, but I AM trying to take care of you,” Angeal stated, his brows furrowing with some unknown emotion.

“Why?” The blonde quickly quizzed, his tone clipped, and slightly biting. 

“Why is it so hard for you to believe, that maybe we just want to do so? To keep you healthy, and dare I say happy.” Angeal’s eyes narrowed thoughtfully at Cloud from where he now stood in the middle of the kitchen. The raven did nothing to hide the confused look in his gaze, taking notice of a reddish tint on Cloud’s pale features. 

“I don’t have clothes with me anyways, and if I go back to Zack’s apartment, I’m staying there,” Cloud threatened, feeling like he might’ve won this argument for a change. 

Unfortunately, for him, Angeal was getting better and better at keeping up with the blonde’s antics, and was quick to respond.

“That’s fine, you can borrow something of mine.” Angeal finished setting a pot on one of the stove burners, rubbing his palms on his pants, before exiting the kitchen. His eyes fell on Cloud for a microsecond, before he jerked his head in a manner that said ‘follow me.’ 

The younger man was led down the hall, his eyes surveying his surroundings with vague curiosity. Angeal’s sense of decorating was much more plain, and minimalist than Genesis’s, and even Zack’s. There wasn’t exactly a color scheme he went by, but most of the furniture adorning the house was brown, or black. It almost felt like walking through the woods at night, shadows falling along the walls like hushed secrets. Cloud had noticed none of them really kept anything in their homes of an overly-sentimental value, not a single picture frame in sight. Even so, Cloud could practically feel the memories surrounding him, and imagined all of the time the four must have spent together here. 

Suddenly, the air was knocked out of Cloud in a huff, the front of his body feeling like it had been electrocuted. The heat of Angeal’s back, mixed with the sudden contact, felt like running into a bolt of lightning. Rather than making him tense like such things normally would have, it made his lean limbs feel weak and tingly. The blonde held his breath, taking a few steps back as quickly as his wobbly body would allow. 

If Angeal noticed the odd behavior, he didn’t say anything about it, only sparing Cloud a glance over his shoulder as he entered his bedroom. 

There it was, the source of the highest concentration of a person’s scent in their home. People spent much of their time in their rooms, and everything from their clothing, to the nights they spent sweating in their bed combined into a deadly cocktail. This scent was more overpowering than Cloud had ever picked up on Angeal by himself, reflexively making him rub a hand over his nose. 

“It’s strong, right?” Angeal asked, sounding rather apologetic for something he couldn’t even control. “It’s the same for me when I go into other people’s spaces. I’ve gotten used to the others, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand. Scent can tell you a lot about a person in normal doses, but with people like us, we can decipher many things about an individual by merely entering their room: the detergent they use, their age, their profession, and even how sexually active they are. For example, when I walk into your room in Zack’s apartment, I can tell you use Zack’s soap to wash your hair. I know by the muskier undertones that you are young -- in your prime -- but definitely not a child. I can tell you are physically active, and spend a lot of your time there exercising. And the lack of… certain hormones, tells me you are anything but sexually active.” 

Cloud felt completely flustered, not just by the accuracy of Angeal’s deduction, but also because it felt like the raven had pried his way into something extremely private. 

“Stop doing that,” Cloud deadpanned, his heart rate feeling overwhelmingly fast in his chest. 

“Stop what? My sense of smell? I can’t stop it anymore than you can, Cloud. If you spent more time focussing on what a scent tells you, rather than trying to hide from it, you’d be capable of the same,” Angeal sounded amused while he leaned over his dresser, rummaging through the articles of clothing in there. 

“I don’t care what soap people use, how old they are, or what their profession is, and I especially don’t care about what they do in bed.” Cloud’s words were a bit raspy, and disgruntled, like a child who was just told they had to go to time out. 

“Not a curious person?” Angeal chuckled, finding the younger man’s shift in behavior rather adorable. 

“Not a nosy person,” Cloud fixed Angeal’s sentence, giving the man a look that said the blonde felt like the raven was being nosy himself. 

“Using the gift you have isn’t being nosy, it’s just taking advantage of your own abilities,” the SOLDIER corrected. 

“You knowing what soap I use feels pretty nosy to me. I didn’t peg you to be such an invasive person, Angeal,” Cloud sassed, and for a second, Angeal almost felt like he was talking to Zack instead of a certain blonde. 

Lips twitching upwards, the raven pulled out a t-shirt, and a pair of sweats that were too tight on him. They would probably still be large on Cloud, but he could adjust the string on the pants so they fit better. Before the younger man had a chance to react, Angeal tossed the clothes at his face. 

Cloud sputtered in surprise, his hands shooting up to try and catch the cloth that was smothering him. 

“What the fuck--” Cloud growled, not quite yelling, but definitely louder than he normally spoke. His gaze was sharp and angry when he finally managed to rip the clothing off of his face.

Angeal had to cover his mouth with one of his hands to stop himself from outright laughing at Cloud, his shoulders shaking with strain. 

“It’s not funny,” Cloud almost WHINED, and if the blonde’s behavior before wasn’t enough to make Angeal burst, then that was. 

“You know, you can be rather cute when you aren’t acting like you’re going to bring the building down,” Angeal teased through his laughter, but his words were met with a stunned silence. 

“I’ll go take a shower then, since you're so dead set on it--” Cloud muttered, turning around so he could head to the bathroom. 

“One more thing, Cloud!” Angeal shouted after him.

Cloud rolled his eyes, turning on his heel to face Angeal, only to find himself facing a sturdy chest. He stumbled backwards from shock, finding his movement halted by a hand on his wrist. The strength Angeal exerted to hold him in place was strong, but not painful. It was successful in keeping Cloud grounded, but not making him feel restricted. 

The raven dared to rub his thumb over the pulse-point there, feeling the barest traces of a shiver course through the blonde, who stared up at him with widened eyes. 

“Soup, or porridge?” Angeal asked, the muscles in his jaw clenching as he tried his best to bite back a smile from the dumb look Cloud gave him. 

“What?” The younger asked, shaking his head to either clear it, or show he didn’t understand. Maybe both?

“For dinner, do you want to eat soup, or porridge?” Angeal repeated the question in more detail, his eyes watching the way the blonde’s throat moved when he swallowed. 

“Uh, whatever you choose is fine,” Cloud finally replied, still looking confused by the situation, and a bit wary. 

The answer made something warm swell inside the raven. It may have been such a simple thing, but, in his head, this was Cloud giving him the reins on deciding what the blonde should eat. It was both endearing, and mildly exhilarating, making him unable to not smile fondly down at Cloud. If the blonde knew what reaction his response prompted in Angeal, he might’ve realized that sweet, gentle smile was the older man’s way of rewarding him. However, Cloud was blissfully ignorant to what was really happening here. 

“Alright, it should be ready by the time you get out. Clean yourself up well, but don’t take too long or it’ll go cold,” Angeal instructed, pressing his luck even further. 

“Yah, sure,” Cloud replied, nodding his head in one sharp jerk, even as his eyes narrowed suspiciously. He couldn’t help feeling there was something else going on here; something more than what he could see in the strange look on Angeal’s face. He had to admit, he was now looking forward to the brief moment of solitude he would get from showering. 

Again, the raven smiled, but this time he released Cloud’s wrist, allowing the blonde to step backwards. 

Cloud didn’t feel fear, definitely some apprehension from not knowing, but he always felt that. The feeling had basically melted into his everyday life, where he now came to accept it as a part of him. This wasn’t fear, but it WAS strange. His wrist tingled from where Angeal had been holding it, and his heart rate was a bit erratic in his chest. His hands felt clammy, even though they gripped the dry material of the clothing Angeal had given him. The strangest thing though, perhaps, was the heat he felt coursing through his body. He felt it often with Zack, and recently had begun to feel it around Genesis, but now he was feeling it with Angeal too. Was this just what developing a certain level of trust with someone felt like, or was it something else entirely? 

Zack, he understood. The two were close, and Cloud knew he had feelings for the black-haired man he needed to kill, before they got too complicated. 

Genesis, well, Cloud couldn’t deny he was growing to at least accept the redhead’s presence, actually seeing a lot of similarities between them. Under different circumstances, Cloud even felt he could grow to have a friendship with the man, almost as close as the one he had with Zack. 

Angeal though? The man had seen his ugliest sides, threatened him, and then tried to throw a bandaid on that threat. He made Cloud feel both frustrated, at times, while also feeling curious. Yet his touch felt like pure heat, and his presence felt strong, and vaguely comforting. 

His feelings for Sephiroth were like those of walking through the Nibel mountains, in the winter, without a coat -- icy cold. He’d grown to accept that Sephiroth was here, and even tolerated him in short doses, but no warmth came from being around the silver-haired man. If this icy feeling was fear, distrust, and hatred… 

Then what were these warm feelings he got around the others? 

Common sense would say the opposite, but Cloud was too scared to even allow himself to ponder that possibility for a second. 

So when the door to the bathroom was closed over, and he was left alone in blissful silence, he allowed his head to rest back against the cold surface. He sighed, feeling the smoothness of the door behind him against his finger tips. 

Just a moment to breathe -- that was all he needed. 

\------------------------------

Ark came from, what one might call, “not-so-humble beginnings.” His birth, or rather, his creation was unorthodox at its best, being the product of one of Hojo’s weekend projects. 

Well, maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration. In truth, Ark had been planned throughout years of genetic manipulation and research. Though the idea for his creation might’ve actually come from a whim Hojo had during his Sunday downtime. 

The combination of some of the brightest minds at Shinra, including the crazy scientist himself, and the careful nurturing of Ark’s brain cells led to his birth. A man whose intelligence far surpassed most, and even rivaled Hojo’s. So, what was the difference between them, aside from appearance and age? Simply put, Ark had something the older man seemed to lack completely.

Compassion. 

Sure, Hojo had tried to force that out of him as he got older, even making Ark kill a pregnant woman begging for her life. Even so, Ark’s heart may have hardened significantly over the years of mental torment, but it hadn’t closed off completely. 

He did what he was told, with the exception of the few times he tampered with his creator’s experiments. He behaved, aside from the two occasions when he dared to rat Hojo out to Shinra. What could he say? The words had “accidentally” slipped from his mouth. 

The intelligence Hojo had given him, also backfired on the crazed scientist, for Ark learned early on how to cover his tracks well. 

This situation, however, was a bit difficult, and very delicate. The man he’d seen, Cloud Strife, had the eyes of someone who’d seen the devil himself, and spat in his face. Yet, at the same time, he was fragile, and it would be all too easy to exploit the weaknesses he left on full display. It would take but one meeting with Hojo, and the scientist would see all of those weaknesses in his face. He would twist, and mold Cloud like a lump of clay, until he got the specimen he craved. 

Then again, he could be wrong. Cloud, while quite expressive in his torment, was also tough as hell. Ark had given him multiple opportunities to back out, or even fight back, and he still saw it through until the end. 

He had to admit, he could see the fascination, not necessarily medically speaking, but with Cloud himself. Fear mixed with courage, igniting a blazing fire behind icy-blue eyes. So either Cloud was plain stupid, or he was a lot stronger than people gave him credit for. 

What did he value? What did he protect? What would it take for Hojo to actually break him? 

As it was, Cloud was merely bent, not broken, and the material that made him up was like metal. He could continuously bend, and bounce back for eternity, but to actually break him would take a force of exceptional strength. 

Ark looked down at the contents of the jar in front of him, not able to see what was inside because of the ominous, chemical concoction inside. He knew, though, that it was the skin sample he’d taken from the blonde, and grit his teeth as he pondered over it. He rolled a small, glass vial in his hand, considering his options. 

If he did this, Hojo would go crazy trying to figure out what happened. Cloud’s test as an acceptable match to be a Jenova cell r-cell recipient wouldn’t match up with the results given here. It would drive Hojo crazy, and at least get him off the blonde’s ass for a little bit; just long enough for the scientist to reevaluate his data, and the mixture he’d created for the skin sample. 

It could just be delaying the inevitable, but Arks heart did hurt for the man, who was still so young, and had already seen enough pain in his lifetime. 

Sighing, Ark unscrewed the cap on the flesh-eating liquid, carefully taking the dropper out, and allowing it to drip twice into the jar. Quickly, he looked around himself, and screwed the cap back on. This would completely destroy the skin sample he’d brought back, and send Hojo into one of his temper tantrums. If Ark was lucky, the older man would lock himself in his office for a couple days, giving him a much needed break. 

Ark made quick work of hiding the jar in his pocket, and leaving the lab. On his way out, he pressed a button on his watch, successfully unfreezing the camera’s to the room. No evidence of his being here would exist, meaning, so long as he kept the vial in his pocket hidden, it couldn’t be traced back to him. Hojo would see it as a simple anomaly, or miscalculation, and eventually let it go as a minor setback in a broader scheme. 

“Ark!” An eerily-familiar voice called out to the white-haired scientist as he walked down the hall, hands secured in his pockets. 

“Professor Hojo,” Ark replied, not turning to face the older man, but making sure to keep his voice smooth, and professional. 

“How are things coming along with your assignment?” The professor quizzed, finally forcing Ark to face him. 

“They’re coming,” Ark stated in a bored tone of voice, even as he felt tense. He held something in his pocket that he couldn’t let Hojo see, no matter what. 

“I trust you’ll keep the people down here in line. You are, after all, one of my best creations,” Hojo spoke like a proud father, whose son just brought him home straight A’s. 

“Of course, sir,” Ark nodded in agreeance, fighting back the scowl that wanted to press against his features. 

The young scientist’s eyes suddenly darted to the door he’d just exited, one of Hojo’s assistants going in to check on the sample, no doubt. He needed to get out of here, because if the sample showed up bad, and he was the only one seen in this hall, fingers might start being pointed. 

“I actually have to go check on one of my subjects now, sir. So, if you’ll excuse me,” Ark began to nod to the professor for his departure, turning his back to the man once more. 

“Oh, before you leave, Hollandar mentioned something rather interesting to me today--” Hojo trailed, his voice taking on a new, more dangerous tone. 

“Interesting? You find a lot of things interesting, professor, do you not think you might be growing a bit sentimental?” Ark quizzed, his eyes narrowing at the hall before him. 

“Be that as it may, this really is something quite intriguing. You see, it would seem his latest letter was intercepted by Shinra dogs, and I can’t think of any way that would happen, unless someone said something of our interactions.” Hojo was clearly fishing for something, but whether or not he suspected Ark remained to be seen. 

“Really? Well, I don’t know who would have the guts to do something like that, but I’ll keep my eyes open for you,” Ark stated, trying to mend the scientists’ faith in him. 

“Professor Hojo! Sir, there’s a problem with the r-cell sample!” The assistant from before came rushing out, and Ark cursed under his breath. 

“A problem?! What do you mean?” Yah, Hojo was pissed, that much was clear.

He shoved the assistant out of the way, and rushed into the lab, his footsteps louder than anything Ark had ever heard. 

Talk about ungraceful. 

Now, the white-haired man was left with two options. He could either run off to “tend to his subjects,” and risk looking even more suspicious. Or, he could go help with the problem, and risk getting found out. 

He tipped his head back, sighing up at the ceiling out of frustration. 

What to do? What to do?

Ark turned to the lab assistant who was standing outside the entrance to the lab, clearly terrified of Hojo’s impending outburst at the failure. The fox-like man smiled thoughtfully, and began walking in her direction. Once he was close enough, he pretended to stumble, successfully running right into her. The, already terrified, girl, shrieked in surprise, but thankfully didn’t notice what Ark had done. 

With that, the younger man slipped into the lab, standing on the opposite side of the table, and watching as Hojo pulled out a barely-there scrap of flesh. The acidic compound had already done its job, and left little more than a sliver of skin behind. Hojo slammed the tongs down on the tray, making some glass vials tip over, and shatter. 

“It looks like cell degradation,” Ark replied, pretending to be ignorant, and interested in the state of the sample. 

“That’s impossible! Strife’s DNA was a perfect match, I saw the results with my own eyes. Unless the measurements were off, or…” Hojo turned a deadly gaze in Ark’s direction, the younger scientist feeling both proud, and slightly nervous. 

“Or?” Ark pressed, still playing the ignorant act. 

“What were you doing in this hall, Ark?” Hojo asked, glaring sharply at his little creation.

“I’m sorry, what do you mean, sir?” the white-haired man forced his brow to crinkle in faux-confusion. 

“Both your office, and your projects are located on the other side of the labs right now, so what. Were. you. Doing. In this hall?” The professor’s voice grew deadlier, and was packed with more venom by the minute. 

“I came here for the vending machines. The one on the other side of the labs is out of rice crackers,” Ark defended, hoping it would hold up. 

“The only other thing that could do this, would be a chemical reaction, that would be designed to dissipate, and leave no traces of itself. Something like that could only be concocted by someone with at least two brain-cells, and other than myself, you’re the only one who might have the capability of procuring such things,” Hojo accused, stepping around the table to face his underling head on. 

This close, Ark could smell the disgusting mixture of the man’s greasy hair, sweat, chemicals, blood, and, of course, his milk-curdling breath. 

“Why would I do something like that? I’m the one who went through the trouble of getting the sample in the first place,” Ark refuted, forcing himself not to take a step back from the professor. 

“You wouldn’t mind turning out your pockets then -- if you have nothing to hide, that is,” Hojo ordered, his eyes glancing down to where Ark’s hands rested in his pockets. 

A moment of silence stretched between them, the air surrounding the two thick, and heavy. 

“Not at all, sir,” Ark conceded, pulling his hands out of his pockets, and successfully flipping them inside out. 

Empty. 

Hojo looked both relieved, and shocked that the younger man’s pockets were completely empty. 

“Alright-- Alright, I apologize, my boy,” Hojo’s voice spoke softly, almost tenderly, if one didn’t know the scientist wasn’t capable of feeling such things. “I am a bit stressed as of late, and I know you would never be foolish enough to betray me,” Hojo nodded to himself. 

The wording didn’t go unnoticed by Ark. Foolish, implying a threat, and great pain to the white-haired man, should he actually betray Hojo. Not to be mistaken with want, which would imply Ark not being willing to betray the man who called himself the younger’s father. 

“I’d never, I swear it,” Ark replied, making his voice hold a bit of child-like innocence, and successfully pulling his grand act to a close. 

“I’m going to review the data, just…” Hojo sighed, running a hand over his face, “don’t bother me.” 

Ark nodded, watching the retreating form of the professor make its way back to his office. Once he felt safe, and could no longer hear the footsteps outside the lab, he walked up to the assistant, who still stood like a frozen statue in the door. 

“Pardon me, darling,” he spoke the endearment in the same bored tone at which he said everything else. 

Ark ignored the squeak the assistant let out when he dove his hand into her lab coat pocket. He pulled out the vial from earlier, noticing the wide eyed look he got when the girl realized what he’d done. Ark placed a finger over his lips, that foxy sneer now resting there. 

“Not a word of this, or I swear, you’ll be the next one on that table, and by the time Hojo has grown bored of you, your remains will be able to fit in that jar over there.” Ark jerked his head to the jar that once held the skin sample of Cloud, watching as all the color drained from the assistant’s face. “Am I understood?” 

She nodded her head vigorously, turning, and all but running away from the white-haired man. 

Ark tossed the vial in the air, catching it with a smirk of victory, before plopping it back into his pocket where it belonged. 

Now, the final part of his plan, time to go purge the vending machine on the other side of the labs of its rice crackers. 

No traces.

\-----------------------

Genesis looked out at the disaster before him, unable to comprehend how everything went to hell in a manner of days. 

Fort Condor was completely sealed off, materia-born shields surrounding it in a shimmery, blue glow. They managed to dilute the horrifying sounds inside minutely, but not completely. He could hear the screams, and the sounds of people gagging, gurgling, and choking on the black fluid, which now covered the land inside like paint. 

“What the hell happened here?!” He shouted to the infantry leader, who shied away from his domineering form. Everyone knew not to piss of the redhead, and knew even more not to stand against him when he was pissed. 

“We don’t know sir. One of the SOLDIER’s, second class, grew ill, but it was just a bloody nose. By the time it started spreading, and people started dying, we’d already lost communications because of the reactor shutdown. All we could think to do, was to quarantine the area until the sickness passed, or killed everyone inside off. 

“And you and your men just happen to be nice, safe, and cozy out here, while my men were left in there to die!” Genesis growled, towering over the shorter man, and making him quiver where he stood. “You’re so pathetic you can’t even hold your ground against me, and yet you gave them a death sentence when one of them is better than a dozen of you!” Genesis continued his shouting, feeling nothing but pure fury raging inside him. 

“I’m sorry, sir. Please, it was not what I wanted to do--” the man didn’t get a chance to finish. 

“Then this wasn’t your decision? Tell me it wasn’t your decision, and then I might let you off easier,” Genesis’s voice was growing eerily calm, his eyes still full of the fire in which he used in battle. 

“It… It was my decision, sir,” the infantryman whimpered, unable to look Genesis in the eye any longer. 

“Tseng,” the redhead called out, getting a grunt of acknowledgement in return. “Take this piece of shit out of here, before I cut off his dick and feed it to him,” Genesis asked, almost sweetly, loving the way his prey cowered beneath him. 

Just as Tseng began dragging the shorter male into the helicopter, Genesis cast one last glare over his shoulder. “Don’t think this is over, you will pay for your choice.” 

The infantryman visibly gulped, and nodded, climbing into the helicopter before Tseng did. 

“Release the barriers!” Genesis shouted the order, yet nobody moved. The SOLDIER looked around himself, wondering if all of these men had a death wish today. “Are you deaf, or just idiots? I said release the barriers!” 

“But sir… the infection will--” One man, who had the nerve to try and refuse, was met with an icy, petrifying glare. 

“If you don’t release these barriers in the next five seconds, I swear on the goddess, the infection will be the least of your worries,” he swore, causing the younger man to take a couple of steps back from him. 

“R-releasing the barriers! Standby!” A voice announced from the crowd. 

By the time the barriers were finally lifted completely, no sound could be heard inside the remnants of what was once Fort Condor. Genesis mourned as he walked, even though his face was set hard, and angry. So many men, and young SOLDIERs, most of them still young, laid about. Some of their eyes were still open with terror, while others you might think were merely sleeping. 

Genesis came upon a blonde SOLDIER, whose hair was matted with the thick, black liquid. 

“What’s his name?” Genesis asked, trying to keep his voice level. 

“Sir?” One infantryman quizzed, obviously confused by the sudden question. 

“I asked what his name is?!” The redhead yelled, his voice echoing harshly in the wasteland. 

“Valon Pike, sir,” came the reply.

Genesis nodded, continuing along through the mess, and making sure every single one of these bastards was following behind. 

He stopped again before a, no doubt, once handsome boy, with bright, red hair, not too much unlike his own. 

“And his?” 

“Ian Averit, sir,” a different voice announced. 

Once again, Genesis started walking, stopping next to a boulder, where a SOLDIER -- so young and new that the redhead didn’t even recognize his face yet -- laid dead, dry tear tracks staining his face. He couldn’t be older than sixteen, the youthfulness visible in his face soft, and sweet. 

“And his?” Genesis asked, one last time, the final test to what he was trying to prove. 

“Mekka Bevarly, sir…” the last man said, his voice straining, whether it be from fear, or pity, nobody knew.

“You know their names, so what does that tell you?” Genesis’s voice was bordering on desperation, as he tried to make them understand something that should be so simple. 

“We-- we don’t know sir…” Another infantryman stated, words coming out shaky, and uneven.

“It should tell you that these are OUR people! Not just mine, but OURS! You ate with these men, slept alongside them, put your lives in their hands, and yet when the time came for them to place their lives in yours, you abandoned them! And you all condemned them here to die, without even looking back-- All of you are pathetic, lousy excuses for men, and soil the Shinra name.” Genesis announced, walking along the group of men, so each one of them could see the hatred in his eyes. “Look at this boy’s face!” He ordered, pointing to Mekka’s body. “And yes, he is JUST a boy… Why was he even out here in the first place?! Can anyone tell me that? Because I sure as hell know he is not old enough, nor experienced enough to be cleared for outside-Shinra, unsupervised battle!” Genesis grew more angry with each blank stare he got. “No one?!” 

The redhead turned his back to the group, running a hand down his face, and trying to keep himself from lighting them all on fire. 

“Just… Get out of here, and if I were you, I’d start packing my stuff when you get back to Shinra,” Genesis finally commanded, feeling completely defeated. 

He heard the footsteps fade out behind him, and allowed himself to crouch down next to the young boy’s body. For all of the stuff he preached about a SOLDIER’s life being in their own hands, this NEVER should have happened. He doubted this boy -- this kid -- had even finished his required courses to do proper, SOLDIER field work. And yet, his body now laid out here like a forgotten, discarded piece of trash. 

Genesis, still trying to keep his anger at bay, tenderly stroked the boy’s matted hair out of his face. He removed his red coat, the very trademark of his being at Shinra, and placed it over Mekka’s body. It was so large, that it covered him from the top of his head, to the tips of his toes, with some material still left over. 

So small. 

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry I didn’t get here sooner. May the goddess protect you, and may you find peace,” Genesis spoke the final words to the boy, placing a hand over his chest, and looking out around him to the others who laid dead, sending off the same words for them. 

This wasn’t just a sickness -- this was absolute carnage. 

\---------------------

Reno walked alongside Rude through the halls of Shinra, both of them heading towards their ultimate destination at the loading dock. 

“Why are they sending us to do this shit? It’s gotta be someone else’s job to handle package delivery,” the redhead whined. He shoved his hands into his pockets, and crossed his feet over one another playfully as he walked. 

“This isn’t just package delivery, Reno, this is mail interception for the investigation of accusations. Very much our job,” Rude replied, pushing his sunglasses up further on his nose. 

“So what then? We open the letter, and if it is suspicious, we take it to the big man, and if it isn’t, we just put it back in and hope no one notices?” Reno quizzed, his tone revealing he was about as patient as a pot of boiling water. 

A stiff grunt was the only reply the younger turk received this time. 

Reno was not too keen on the idea of being a lapdog of Shinra again. It was good to see Rude, don’t get him wrong, but weaseling his way in here without causing suspicion had been hard enough. Now he actually had to do WORK. 

Both of the turks jumped out of the way, when a very angry looking SOLDIER with red hair barreled down the hall. 

“See!” The young turk gestured to the retreating back of the fuming man. “This is what I’m talking about, we don’t get any respect for what we do! That guy has a stick so far up his ass, he can probably feel it in his throat,” Reno grumbled the last part, but Rude heard it nonetheless. 

“Genesis Rhapsodos, first class SOLDIER elite. With the publicity, and fighting skills on him, he’s allowed to have a stick up his ass if he wants. He’s known for being rather short tempered, and probably just got back from his assignment at Fort Condor,” Rude replied, his face taut, as though he didn’t agree, nor disagree. Then again, that was just rude -- a permanent blank slate most days. 

“Guess things didn’t go so well out there then,” Reno hummed thoughtfully, staring up at the ceiling lights overhead. “Hey rude,” Reno called out to his partner, once again getting a grunt in response. “Would you miss me if, ya know, I suddenly kicked the can,” the redhead asked, being uncharacteristically sentimental. 

“It’s not in our job to miss people, Reno. I already thought you were dead for three years,” the older turk stated, his voice sounding vaguely strained. 

“I know, but just for the hell of it, would you?” Reno pressed harder, now staring at the back of Rude’s head. 

“My job became harder after you went missing, so in some ways, I suppose I would. Death comes easily in our line of work though,” Rude responded, his voice sounding strained, yet reassuring. 

“Don’t I know it,” Reno laughed from the sheer irony of those words, having already experienced death’s grasp once before. 

“Is there something you feel you need to tell me, Reno?” Rude asked after a moment of silence passed, the man being all too analytical for his own good. 

“Nah, just bored I guess,” Reno replied cheerfully, though his smile didn’t quite meet his eyes this time. “To the loading dock we go then! Two dogs of Shinra, working from the shadows!” He cheered out like the beginning to some kind of superhero movie. 

“Hn, maybe I wouldn’t miss you as much as I thought, it was quieter without you,” Rude grumbled, but Reno had known him long enough to recognize the joking tone in his voice. 

“Rude!” He deadpanned, shoving the other man in the back playfully. 

Some things never change, do they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song: Amnesia by: DREAMDNVR


	20. Lovely

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud hears shouting out in the hall, and goes to investigate, which somehow lands him in Genesis's room. Sephiroth is trying to find answers about Fort Condor, his mood pretty sour after the events that transpired the previous night. He ends up running into Zack, who knows how to push all the wrong buttons (or the right ones?). Cloud wakes up in a strange situation, and ends up having a rather childish argument with a certain redhead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okayyyy, so, this chapter is full of emotions, breakthroughs, and pure SIN. The long awaited smut scene has finally managed to wiggle its way into the story, and boy is it steamy. @.@ 
> 
> The ending, I already apologize for, with probably leave you guys angry with me haha. The cliffhanger is one of my worst yet, I believe. 
> 
> Additionally, I'd like to mention that, on the first chapter, I've linked both my instagram page, as well as my Twitter. Instagram is where most of my artwork will go, and where you can tag me in anything you've made that you'd like me to share on here. 
> 
> My twitter is where you guys can check out any potential updates on stories that I'm planning to come out with, and make requests for stories you might like me to write (Short or long, though longer ones will take me more time to plan). This page is still brand new, so there is not much of anything on it yet, but that will be changing shortly. 
> 
> Alrighty, you guys know how it goes :)
> 
> **WARNINGS: emotional turmoil, hurt feelings, first (real) kiss, D/s elements, bed-sharing, SMUT (the sections with smut will be marked off with this (***) symbol, so if you don't want to read it, you can skip. This scene will include the following warnings: mild semi-public actions, strong Dom/sub elements, mild degradation, dirty talk, and anal penetration. You have been warned.), cliffhanger.** 
> 
> Okie doke I think that's it. Happy reading!

Isn't it lovely, all alone?

Heart made of glass, my mind of stone

Tear me to pieces, skin and bone

hello, welcome home

\------------------

Cloud jolted from his, not so peaceful, sleep with a sharp jerk. groggy confusion fogged his brain for a moment, before he heard what it was that had pulled him from his rest. 

Outside Angeal’s apartment, he could hear shouting and cursing, though the exact words being exchanged were rather muddled. The blonde swung his legs over the side of the bed, his feet touching the cool ground, and chilling his heated skin. As soon as he stood up, he felt the clothing Angeal had lent him be pulled down by gravity. The pants were rolled at the ankles, but still covered the tops of his feet, while the shirt hung loosely on his frame, and fell off one shoulder completely. The blonde really, really needed to get some of his own clothing, because right now he looked like a kid playing dress-up. 

He exited the bedroom, walking down the hallway that led into Angeal’s living room. Across the way, he could see light spilling in from the cracked front door. The closer he got, the more he realized it was one person shouting, and another person just talking in a clipped tone of voice. 

“You were the one who was scheduled to leave yesterday, Genesis. It’s not my fault you got there too late,” a fluid voice, whom Cloud recognized as belonging to Sephiroth, stated. 

Cloud’s head tilted curiously to the side, his palm gripping the edge of the front door so he could pull it open. When he stepped out into the bright hallway, he squinted at the image of Sephiroth and Genesis facing each other. Genesis was fuming, squaring up against Sephiroth like a bear would a human when they drew too close to its cubs. Even though the General had quite a bit more height on him, the redhead’s fury was enough to make one realize he could more than hold his own. 

Angeal stood just a little ways outside the entrance to the apartment, arms crossed, and concern pressing into his brow. Zack was also there, his eyes still droopy from the sleep he’d clearly woken from, but his stance saying he was ready to step in if necessary -- one foot placed before the other, shoulders squared, and arms out at his sides. 

The first to notice Cloud’s presence joining them, thanks to his close proximity, was Angeal. The raven looked down at the blonde, his eyes widening a little in an anxious way. He stepped closer to the younger, his arms uncrossing so he could wrap thick fingers around Cloud’s bicep, and pull him closer. 

“You should go back to bed, Cloud, things aren’t very good out here right now,” Angeal whispered, the huskyness in his voice the only indicator that he too had woken from sleep not too long ago. 

“How can I go back to bed with these two shouting?” The blonde refuted, pulling his arm out of the grasp, and stepping away from Angeal. 

The raven looked distressed, but realized he couldn’t really force Cloud back into the apartment if he didn’t want to go there. Anything else he might’ve said was cut off by Genesis shouting a rebuttal to Sephiroth’s prior statement. 

“No! Don’t you dare pin this on me, Sephiroth. In what frame of mind did you think sending out so many unqualified SOLDIERs would be okay?! And that boy who you sent to deliver documents, he wasn’t even ready to be doing work in the slums, let alone out in Fort Condor! Their blood is on YOUR hands, so don’t you fucking DARE try to say I did this!” The redhead fumed, his face contorted in a way that Cloud had never seen on those delicate features before. 

So this was what Genesis looked like when he was angry, and not keeping himself muted by manners. In a way, it was both Beautifully transfixing, and terrifying. Cloud had never been so sure the redhead could do serious damage than he was now. 

It wasn’t just Genesis’s fury that had Cloud concerned though, it was also the words he used. Something had happened out in Fort Condor that killed a lot of people… Gaia, please don’t let it be what he was hoping it wasn’t. The blonde wanted to ask, but he knew better than to insert himself in the path of two warring SOLDIERs. Especially when it came to the General, and one of the first class elites, he was sure they could bring the whole building down if things got too heated. 

“How was I supposed to have an understanding of what would happen out there? The last reactor shutdown, while highly upsetting, showed no signs of anything this horrific. I’m not a fortune teller -- I can’t see into the future -- and I’m not the one who gave the order to close them all in there to die,” Sephiroth shot back. The silver-haired man didn’t need to yell to make his anger, and frustration known. 

Shouting wasn’t exactly Sephiroth’s style either, for in all the time Cloud had known him, he’d never once heard the man actually yell. Get passionate in a creepy, terrifying way, where his voice became louder and more exaggerated, sure, but never yelling. 

“You may not have given the order, but you are just as guilty! You are the great General Sephiroth of Shinra’s army, meaning every decision you make has you holding our lives in your hands. When Fort Condor went dark, you didn’t even send out a coordinator to check if everything was still alright, I know, because I fucking checked!” Genesis bit out, making sure to exaggerate ‘the great General Sephiroth’ with pure venom and mocking. 

The blow obviously did a great deal of damage to Sephiroth, who appeared stunned as the slightest glimmer of hurt passed through his eyes. Genesis, even through his anger, faltered for a moment, but his face quickly hardened back up. 

Angeal, now very distressed, finally had seen enough, and had no intention of letting this fight continue on much longer. He stepped closer to the two, reaching out a hand to Genesis so he could place it on the younger’s shoulder. 

“Calm down, Genesis, you are upset, and saying things you don’t mean… This isn’t Seph’s fault--” Angeal tried, and for a moment it looked like the redhead was calming down, only for him to jerk away from the raven’s touch when Sephiroth began talking again. 

“I didn’t know Fort Condor went dark, because nobody informed me. While I feel remorse for the men we lost, they all understood what they were signing up for when they joined SOLDIER.” Sephiroth’s tone, and features, were now an icy slate, devoid of any type of emotion. 

This was the defense mechanism Cloud recognized all too well, for he had adopted the same one from the General himself. Hiding your emotions, especially in an argument, was even more unsettling to your opponent than fury burning behind narrowed eyes. It also protected you, by allowing you to shove your emotions away for a brief period of time. 

Sephiroth had killed his emotions, and Genesis already knew this if the pained look on his face didn’t make that obvious. 

“So that’s it then?” Genesis let out a bitter laugh, his lips pulling back into a snarl. “They signed a contract, so their deaths don’t mean a thing I guess. Isn’t that right, General?” The redhead finished, not even looking the silver-haired man in the eyes anymore. He looked tired, fragile, and deflated in comparison to his earlier fire. 

This Genesis tugged at Cloud’s heart in a way very few people could. Zack, yes. Tifa, of course. Aerith… All of these people were very dear to the blonde, but right now, his heart was hurting for someone who had attacked him his first week here. 

The blonde reached for it… That switch in his own mind that would kill his forming emotions. He searched for it desperately, but each time he came up empty. It was like only the whispered ghost of it existed, and made him feel both weak and scared at the same time. He shouldn’t be feeling these things -- he shouldn’t be feeling anything. 

Cloud Strife was much more suited for being an emotionless tool of war. After all, he was the only one who could handle the pain of the things he’d seen and done. 

But now, his switch was missing, and his heart felt like it had been cut open for this man. He was bleeding from the inside, all because of the pain expressed by another. 

This wasn’t like him. 

“Genesis!” Angeal shouted, pulling Cloud back into the present, and out of his small panic. 

The redhead was already stalking away, and disappearing into his own apartment. He didn’t spare the other four in the hall a single glance before he slammed the door shut, leaving them all in stiff silence. 

Angeal moved to go after Genesis, his own features revealing how upset he was by this entire situation. The only one who didn’t visibly appear upset -- though Cloud, somehow, could tell he was -- was Sephiroth. The raven was stopped in his tracks by Zack, who gave him a look of understanding. 

“Leave him alone, Ang-- he needs a moment,” Zack said gently, though the strain in his voice could be heard clearly by all of them. 

This wasn’t right. 

These four were so close, and clearly had a tight bond with one another. Cloud had never seen Sephiroth get so upset, and so dedicated in an argument before. He’d also never seen such a hurt expression on the silver-haired man’s face than when Genesis had jabbed at him with his words. 

He couldn’t shake there was something more -- a lot of things, actually -- going on here, but he also couldn’t stand the idea of Genesis upset and alone in his apartment. 

Taking advantage of Zack and Angeal’s attention being on one another, and Sephiroth not looking at anything but the wall, Cloud tread lightly on his feet. He slipped past the others, only sparing one last glance at them, as he disappeared into Genesis’s apartment. He closed the door softly, leaning into it for a moment as a way to ground himself, and let out a slow breath that echoed against the surface. 

Turning around, he was faced with the darkness of the apartment, Genesis clearly not having bothered to flip on any lights in his emotional turmoil. Cloud didn’t make a single sound as he slowly walked through the space, an eerie shiver tracing up his spine. He checked the couches in the living room, the kitchen, and the bathroom, until he was standing before the redhead’s closed bedroom door. The mix of the strong scents slipping under the door made heat pool in Cloud’s stomach, his heart pounding erratically in his chest. Concentrating on the smell, like Angeal had told him, he found he could pick up the traces of something bitter in it. 

Pain, sadness, anger…

His mind supplied him with these emotions easily, and he knew they were Genesis’s. 

Cloud swallowed thickly, his hand frozen, poised over the door in an not-yet-enacted knock. 

“I know you’re there, Cloud, what do you want?” Genesis called from inside, and the blonde cursed himself for forgetting the redhead’s ability to feel the presences of others. 

Well, he was already here, and Genesis knew that, so there was no turning back now. Cloud reached out for the handle on the door, his eyes having a hard time adjusting to the harsh darkness inside. It was even thicker than the darkness outside the apartment, not a single sliver of light to be seen from anywhere. Nowhere, other than from the two, green-glowing eyes, staring at him from where he knew the bed to be located. 

“Genesis-- I can’t see,” Cloud stated nervously, his eyes widening to try and take in as much light as possible. Even with his enhancements, vision came from the small traces of light that reflected in the eyes. Without any light whatsoever, his sight was just as bad as the average person. 

“Why are you here?” Genesis asked sharply, ignoring the blonde’s obvious discomfort. 

“I-- I don’t know,” Cloud replied honestly, still unable to sort through the thoughts in his head. 

He heard something that sounded a lot like a scoff coming from the bed, and then, those eyes were gone. He could barely hear movement, just the faintest whooshes of air past his ears. It wasn’t enough for him to figure out what was going on though, and instinct forced him to back up towards the door. His eyes tried to pick up anything, a useless effort, but they still tried. His breath now came out loud and rushed, his body stiff and ready for a fight if necessary. 

The nerves, mixed with the lack of senses, made him let out a shout of surprise when his back hit something that was way too warm and soft to be the door. He sent a fist flying out of reflex, only for his wrist to be caught, and his back trapped against that warmth. 

“Genesis, what--” Cloud began, his breath catching when a soft hand stroked his cheek, just underneath his eye. 

“You rely too much on your sight, Cloud. What if I had intentions to hurt you? I could’ve done anything: Hit you,” Genesis trailed his fingers down the side of Cloud’s cheek to emphasize his words. “Choked you,” the redhead continued, wrapping thin fingers around the blonde’s throat for a single second. He squeezed, just the smallest bit of pressure, which made Cloud shiver involuntarily. “Or--” the older man trailed, his fingers pressed firmly against his captive’s chest, and leaving his last statement hanging in the air. 

“But you wouldn’t,” Cloud supplied, putting much more faith in Genesis right now than he really felt he should. 

“Oh? And what makes you think that?” Genesis asked, bitter humor lacing his words. 

“Because you didn’t, and--” Cloud trailed, shifting his weight subtly, and hoping the taller male wouldn’t notice. 

“And?” Genesis pressed, his mouth now very close to the blonde’s ear. 

Cloud used the close proximity to grab the back of Genesis’s neck, using his strength to bend his body forwards, and send the redhead flying to the floor. The SOLDIER landed on his back with a grunt, Cloud’s hand under his head, protecting the back of his skull from hitting the ground. 

“And, you aren’t adverse to the effects of darkness either, Genesis,” Cloud finished, about to move his hand when his wrist was gripped once more. 

The younger man suppressed his shout of surprise this time, when he was yanked off balance, and slammed into the ground where Genesis had been laying. He was pressed into the floor by a strong arm, a toned body hovering over him. 

“You do not want to push your luck with me right now, Cloud. I am not in a proper frame of mind, and I will not go easy on you. If you want a fight, you’ll get one, but do not blame me for what happens,” Genesis threatened, his voice sounding extremely strained in the void that surrounded them. 

Cloud found himself wishing he could see the redhead’s face, not realizing how much he based his actions and words around expression. Maybe Genesis was right; maybe he did rely too strongly on sight. 

“I don’t want a fight--” Cloud paused, taking in a sharp breath when Genesis’s body settled more on his own. He could feel the other man’s thighs on either side of his own, and every time Genesis inhaled, his chest brushed Cloud’s. He felt trapped, and scared, but he refused to show weakness.

He had to hold his ground. 

“Then WHAT do you want? You say you don’t know, but I don’t think that’s completely true. Are you lying to me, sweetheart?” Genesis asked, his voice deadly, and holding some kind of emotion Cloud couldn’t name. 

Genesis had called him all manner of names before, from ‘blondie,’ to ‘darling’, and the same term he just used. This time was different though, for it was spoken softly, yet daringly, and the concoction of emotions bouncing between them was dangerous at best. 

“I’ve never lied to any of you… I’ve jumped around giving straight answers, but I’ve never lied,” Cloud defended, trying to tame the demon that trapped him. 

“That’s basically the same thing, do you think it not? Withholding information is just as bad as lying, so be honest, no ‘jumping around,’ little jack rabbit. Tell me the truth,” Genesis’s words continuously got softer, and gentler as he spoke -- as he coaxed Cloud into giving him the answer he was seeking. 

“I--” Cloud tried, the words getting stuck in his throat. He turned his head away, unknowingly baring his neck to a ravenous beast. 

“Hm?” Genesis hummed the questioning sound out, letting his fingers brush against the pulse point of a pale neck when he felt the shift in movement. 

“I want to help you -- I didn’t want you to be alone,” Cloud finally forced out, cursing the weakness in his words, and just the cringy line as a whole. “You’re… hurting,” the blonde found a term he could be satisfied with, feeling the form over top of him stiffen. 

“What if I am? What business is it of yours? Last I checked, you ‘hate’ us, and only see yourself as a ‘prisoner’. So why would my pain have any affect on you?” Genesis sent the questions out, throwing Cloud’s own words back in his face. 

“Because it does -- because I don’t want you to hurt,” Cloud gave the only answer he could think of, because that truthfully was the only explanation he could give. “Is it so hard to believe I just want to help?” Cloud asked a question of his own, using the very same words Angeal had used on him earlier in the evening. 

Genesis still felt painfully stiff overtop of him, but Cloud thought he could hear a hiccup of sorts fall from those lips. Just the barest whisper of emotion, which felt strained, and alarmed. 

“Forgive me,” Genesis muttered breathlessly.

The apology confused Cloud for only a few seconds, before he felt something soft, wet, and warm closing over his lips. 

If the blonde’s eyes weren’t already wide from trying to source out light, they were nearly bulging out of his head now. Genesis remained rather still, and a little hesitant. He refused to make any more movement until Cloud gave a reaction. Should the blonde turn his head away, Genesis would stop, but should he give any indication of desiring it as much as the redhead himself did...

Cloud didn’t really know what to do. He didn’t dislike the feeling, which was more wet, and salty than the kiss he’d shared with Zack. 

Tears, his mind supplied. 

Genesis was crying. 

That’s what that hiccuping sound had been. 

His anxiety slowly built inside him, as he knew he shouldn’t be doing this -- shouldn’t be allowing this. However, when Genesis made a move to pull back, Cloud quickly clamped a hand over the back of the redhead’s neck. His body reacted on its own, refusing to lose the connection it had established. This physical connection, that felt like liquid heat, stinging pain, and pure affection. 

Genesis growled against his lips, pressing both them, and his body closer to Cloud’s. He grasped the hand that still held onto his nape, and slammed it into the floor by the blonde’s head. He reached around with his free hand, searching for Cloud’s other wrist. When he found it, he let out a satisfied grunt, pulling it up to the opposite side of the younger’s head. It felt so right to have Cloud pinned beneath him, a soft sound escaping those plump lips, and making the redhead go crazy. 

Cloud, on the other hand, felt both overwhelmed, and pure bliss. His kiss with Zack, where he had no idea what he was even doing, felt like child’s play in comparison to the one Genesis led him in. Unable to see anything, his senses of sound, smell and touch were heightened, and he felt no fear in the way the larger man pinned him to the ground. It felt nice -- this loss of control, where nothing was expected of him. He simply had to let Genesis show him the way, and give in to that burning ache in his stomach. 

This heat -- he recognized it. He recognized it so horrifyingly well, that he knew he could no longer hide from the growing emotions. 

The opposite indeed. 

His emotions for sephiroth were icy, because they were fueled by fear, and resentment. 

His emotions for the others felt like heat, because they were fueled by want, and growing trust. 

Gaia help him. 

Genesis didn’t try pushing his tongue inside the smaller male’s mouth. Nor did he try to thrust his growing erection into the hips beneath his own. He knew he wouldn’t take it any further than this, and he could be content with that. Cloud wouldn’t be able to handle that, and he wasn’t sure if he could either. 

This kiss, innocent in some ways when compared to the ones he’d shared with the others, was perfect. It didn’t need to be tainted by sex-driven instincts, because this was all the comfort he could hope to receive. 

It was perfect.

Cloud was perfect. 

So good for him. 

Genesis’s mind was reeling, his body feeling intoxicated by the scents, and the very existence of this body against his own. 

When he finally pulled away, he couldn’t stop himself from uttering the words of reward out of reflex. 

“Good boy,” he mumbled, stroking Cloud’s palm with the pad of his thumb. He nuzzled into the side of the younger’s neck, forcing his blonde head back. He wouldn’t use his mouth -- wouldn’t leave a mark -- but he needed to feel this. He needed to feel these emotions, which weren’t drowned in sorrow. 

“Gen--” Cloud uttered the nickname, not knowing what that simple word would do. 

It felt so nice -- so right. 

“Shh,” Genesis consoled, his gentleness preparing Cloud for when they inevitably broke apart. 

The redhead took a deep breath to calm down, before finally raising up from the juncture between Cloud’s head and shoulder. 

“You’re very good at ‘helping,’ Cloud,” Genesis joked, feeling thrill race through his veins at the way the blonde growled, and jerked thin wrists in his hold. “Hush -- relax. I’m only teasing you, precious, no need to get worked up,” Genesis soothed, content when Cloud stopped his attempt at, no doubt, punching the redhead in the face. 

Once he was sure the situation had calmed down, the older man separated himself from the form beneath him. He felt the cold loss, as he knew he would no matter how long he delayed it, but they couldn’t just lie on the floor all night. 

Genesis walked over to the light switch on the wall, prepared to flip it. 

“Light warning,” Genesis announced, before switching the lights on. He caught Cloud just in enough time to see the blonde hide his face in his arms. 

Going from complete darkness, to a brightly lit room was hard for the average person, but for the enhanced, it was like electrocuting the eyes. Genesis himself squinted at the harsh assault to his vision, everything whitening out for a solid moment. 

“Why don’t you lie down, you’re welcome to use my bed. I’m going to go get you a drink,” Genesis offered, noticing the sudden conflict imprinting itself on the blonde’s features. 

“Angeal is going to wonder where I’ve gone,” Cloud stated, knowing it was only a matter of time before the raven realized the blonde wasn’t anywhere in his apartment. 

“I’ll handle it, and he still has you tomorrow night as well. Just relax, and let me do my job--” Genesis froze at the end of his words, realizing he’d made a mistake, and might’ve said too much. 

“Your job?” Cloud asked quizzically, his brow pinching with confusion. 

Now what? The redhead asked himself internally. How did one explain the concept of aftercare to someone who didn’t know about the lifestyle? He and Cloud hadn’t even done an actual scene, all they’d done was kiss, yet he still felt instinctually responsible for providing comfort. 

He knew something like what they’d exchanged was a big thing for the blonde, who he was almost certain had never partaken in anything sexual at this point. The way he’d heard Cloud had kissed Zack already made him guess this, but the clumsy, yet adorable way he followed Genesis’s lead this evening proved it. And goddess help him, Cloud was so blissfully unaware of how perfectly he offered his submission. It both excited him to think he was the younger’s first real kiss, and scared him. So much gained, with the potential of so much lost if he wasn’t careful. 

Back on the topic at hand: how did Genesis explain this?

“You’ve done more than enough in taking care of me, and my needs this evening, so indulge me in tending to yours, won’t you?” Genesis asked sweetly, loving the way Cloud’s face pinked, just a fraction. 

Cloud didn’t verbally answer, but he did nod, which was enough for the redhead to be satisfied with. 

“Up on the bed then,” Genesis ordered, nodding his head in the direction of his mattress, before heading in the direction of the kitchen. 

Once there, he pulled a container of juice out of the fridge, a cup from the cupboard, and hesitated in reaching for a bottle of vitamins. Since Zack didn’t take vitamins himself, aside from when Genesis or Angeal slipped them in his food, the redhead was sure he hadn’t been giving Cloud any. Concerned for the blonde’s health, especially with the lack of sunlight, and therefore vitamin D he was receiving, Genesis made up his mind. He pulled another cup from the cabinet, and tried to crush the pill up with the bottom of it as quietly as possible. Once satisfied that it would dissolve well, he filled the other cup up with juice, and brushed the powder inside. It disappeared into the liquid almost instantly, leaving no traces of it ever being there in the first place. 

Genesis made short work of cleaning up the kitchen, and carried the glass back to his bedroom. He had to suppress the urge to smile fondly when he saw Cloud laying in his bed, looking rather exhausted. 

“Here, make sure you drink all of it.” Genesis handed the glass over, the blonde gratefully taking it. “You’re wearing Angeal’s clothing,” the redhead remarked, taking in the way the clothes engulfed the smaller form. 

Again, Cloud nodded, not revealing any of his inner thoughts to Genesis, but not seeming uncomfortable either. There was only one thing bothering the SOLDIER right now. 

“I’ll see what I can do about getting some proper clothing for you. In the meantime, I can give you some of mine to sleep in. They’ll still be big on you, but not nearly as big as Angeal’s,” Genesis offered. He really hoped Cloud said yes, because for all he loved his raven-haired lover, he felt like he needed the blonde in something of his. After all, the younger man came to comfort HIM, kissed HIM, and was laying in HIS bed. To have Cloud wearing the clothing of another felt wrong, and ignited something darker, and more possessive inside. 

“I’m fine,” Cloud replied after swallowing the last mouthful of his juice, tongue peeking out to clean up any remains. 

Genesis’s eyes glanced at action, but quickly looked away so as not to get too distracted. 

“I have things that are much more suitable, and probably more comfortable -- those clothes are rather old,” Genesis tried again, taking the glass Cloud looked all too interested in from the other’s hands. 

The blonde looked up at him with confusion, his hands resting in front of him as if he were still holding the cup. 

“I’ve worn worse, trust me, the material is fine,” Cloud grumbled, as memories of his experience with Andrea at the Honeybee Inn years ago crept into his mind. He’d toss himself off another building before ever wearing a dress again. The corset alone had been enough for him to feel like he was dying from lack of breath intake. 

Cloud couldn’t understand why Genesis was pushing the issue so much, seeing as how, aside from the size, the clothing was good for sleeping in. Yes, he’d prefer clothing of his own, but it seemed kind of pointless to change out of what he wore, and into another pair that also didn’t belong to him. 

The look on Genesis’s face appeared conflicted, as if the redhead was going through some mental battle with himself. 

Through all of the uncertainty, Cloud was sure of one thing: in that moment, he felt extremely awkward. 

“I’m sure you're tired, and I’ve pretty much been tired, so I’m going to--” Cloud was about to get off the bed so he could go lay on the couch, but was stopped short by a hand pressing his shoulders back towards the bed. 

“No -- stay,” Genesis ordered, feeling extremely out of his element, and rather insecure. He knew he was overstepping boundaries, and he knew that he needed to slow down before things went downhill, but he just couldn’t stand this feeling. 

Not only was Cloud refusing to change out of Angeal’s clothing, but now he was trying to leave as well. Genesis couldn’t let that happen, he needed Cloud to stay right where he was. The warnings in the back of his mind told him this wasn’t Zack, so he had no right to be throwing orders around. But the other side of him -- the side that already saw Cloud as theirs -- told him otherwise. 

“I can’t take your bed, Genesis,” Cloud retorted, his shoulders straining against the older man’s palms. He didn’t want to use force to get himself free, but he also didn’t like his words to be disregarded. 

“I can sleep here too,” the redhead pressed, his eyes revealing that he was dead serious. 

Cloud gawked at him, allowing himself to fall back against the bed from shock alone. Not once, in all his years, had he shared a bed with someone, nor been asked to. Sleeping on the couch next to Angeal and Zack during a movie was one thing, but sharing a bed? That felt way different, and way more… 

Intimate. 

It’s not that he didn’t trust Genesis not to strangle him in his sleep -- though a few weeks ago he knew his feelings would be the complete opposite -- but the thought still made him feel vulnerable. 

“I don’t think--” Once again, Cloud was cut off. 

“Stay,” Genesis said again, all rationality seeming to have been lost. 

“Listen to me!” Cloud shouted, his frustration at constantly being cut off finally causing him to snap. 

“I am listening to you, and I knew what you were going to say, and I’m asking you to stay,” Genesis replied, his voice significantly calmer, even though it was a bit stiff. 

“Asking, or ordering?” Cloud quizzed, satisfied when Genesis removed his hands from his shoulders. 

The redhead looked a bit startled by himself, as he battled to regain some semblance of composure. 

“This time... I’m asking. Stay, please?” Genesis’s voice was pleading, his eyes conveying how much he really wanted the blonde to stay with him. 

And Cloud… found himself unable to say no. 

Sighing, Cloud laid all the way back down on the pillows, forcing his eyes to shut. It was going to take forever to fall asleep so close to another person, so might as well get a jump start on things. 

Genesis made no other sounds, other than to walk across the room, and switch the lights off. The younger heard the slightest ruffling noise before he felt warmth spreading under the covers. His eyelids squeezed together, as he tried to get his heart rate to settle down. 

“Relax,” Genesis’s melodic voice soother, his hand smoothing over the stress lines in Cloud’s forehead. 

“I am relaxed,” the blonde refuted, shooing the hand away from his face. 

The one thing he would never admit about that night, though, was how quickly he actually did fall asleep. There in the warmth, and the quiet.

There, with Genesis at his side. 

\---------------------

“Does nobody have answers about what happened in Fort Condor?” Sephiroth asked, his tone exhausted, and annoyed. 

“We have some guesses, sir, but no straight answers, especially since many of those who were on scene when it started are now deceased. The sickness, something the survivors have been calling ‘Reaper’s kiss,’ is quite aggressive. The first person to be infected was stated to have presented with a bloody nose, followed not long after by complete hemorrhaging throughout the body. The illness causes the blood and pus of the infected to turn black, and death follows three hours after the first symptom presents itself,” the man, a middle aged brunette, named Dr. Erdith, from the medical bay explained, his face set grimly. 

“What is the ultimate cause of death?” Sephiroth asked, glancing down at the autopsy reports beneath the doctor’s arms. 

Dr. Erdith looked hesitant as his own gaze settled on the gruesome images he held in his hands. Finally, he sighed to himself, and tossed the pictures onto the table for Sephiroth to see. 

All of them were of each of the victims they’d managed to take from Fort Condor. The abdomens of the men had been cut open, revealing the inside of their chest cavity, where the organs and tissues looked little more than black sludge. 

“They bled to death from the inside out,” the doctor answered, pausing for a moment in order to compose himself. “It’s like the inside of the victims bodies were sliced open, and boiled -- all of the organs have been drained and drowned in their own fluids, to the point that they’ve become a deflated mess. The death of these men, even if it only took a few hours, would have been the most excruciating three hours of their entire lives. To be honest, general, I can’t give you any definitive answers right now, because I’ve never seen anything like this in all my years as a practitioner.” Dr. Erdith avoided eye contact with Sephiroth as he spoke, but his facial features were enough for the silver-haired man to see one thing. 

Fear. 

“Then point me in the direction of someone with a clearer head on their shoulders, because you are of no use to me like this,” Sephiroth instructed, his tone icy, and his impassive features unyielding. 

The doctor looked shocked by the insult for a moment, but that quickly disappeared to be replaced by understanding. This was General Sephiroth, after all, he didn’t want to hear about the “could be”’s, or the fears of another. He only wanted answers, and if he couldn’t get that, then the individual before him was as useless as anything else beneath Sephiroth’s boot. 

“I understand, sir, allow me to call my superior. He’s retired, but he has many more years in the medical field than I do, and might provide a better insight.” Dr. Erdith nodded as he spoke, and set to work gathering up the files scattered across the table. 

“See to it that you do.” With these last few words, Sephiroth stood from his seat, and exited the conference room with two of his subordinates on his coattails. 

“Sir, what do you want to do about Fort Condor in the meantime? Head of public security has us treating it like a radioactivity leak, but he’s unsure exactly who should be sent in to mark the parameters, and set up the field gates,” One of them -- a second class SOLDIER working on his first class recommendation -- asked the general about their next move. 

“Until we know what this thing is, I don’t want anyone, especially SOLDIERs, within a five-hundred yard radius of the abandoned campsite. See to it that the fences are put up far enough out, that you’d barely be able to see Fort Condor, let alone be infected by it. You also need to get a hold of Heidegger, and the people down in General Affairs. I don’t want to see a single helicopter heading into that airspace, so we’ll need to reroute the traveling paths for now.” Sephiroth walked with purpose through the halls, his gaze fixated ahead, while he remained uncaring of the people who scurried out of his path. 

“Yes sit,” the SOLDIER saluted him, before walking off to perform the tasks he’d been given. 

“What of Mr. Genesis Rhapsodos’s scheduled return to help with the site, sir? It says here it’s still pending your approval,” the other underling following him asked, this man, though not in the elite unit like Gen, Ang, and Zack, was one of his more talented first class SOLDIERs. He was a great fighter, who found himself a place in the MAT unit, where many of the best materia users worked. Seeing as how Genesis himself had trained this man, and shared a similar love for materia, the young SOLDIER was quite fond of the redhead. 

“I want you to see to it that all traveling to Fort Condor for Genesis is suspended until investigations have been completed, and the matter has been resolved. The last place he needs to be right now, is back there. I also have reason to believe SOLDIERs are much more susceptible to the illness than ordinary combatants, so I’d like to limit it to infantrymen as much as we can. Two hours,” Sephiroth paused, turning around to face the SOLDIER, who stopped when he noticed the silver-haired man blocking the path. “Two hours, I want Genesis’s traveling rights to Fort Condor suspended, and I want a listing of the men we plan to send in to mark off the sight,” the general ordered, looking down expectantly at his underling. 

“Just two hours is… okay, I understand, I’ll see to it immediately, General.” Their conversation was finished with one last salute, which Sephiroth merely nodded his acknowledgement to. 

After his argument with Genesis, Sephiroth was left in a rather foul mood. Being the head of Shinra’s army came with the expectancy of him being a hard ass, and his reputation as a man of little emotion made it so that most didn’t notice when he was actually in a bad mood. Only those who were close to the general, which was very few people, would recognize the deep frown on his brow, and the stiffness of his form. 

When Genesis went into one of his little tantrums, Sephiroth was usually pretty good at diffusing things before they went too far. This time, however, had been different, as the redhead had hit more than a few nerves that made it impossible for Sephiroth to stay calm and collected. 

Sephiroth sighed, his silvery-green eyes shifting to some new recruits messing around down the hall. They’d just received their first set of training equipment, and therefore were having fun showing off. Most had swords like Genesis’s, though the redhead’s was much flashier, and tailored to his own style. They were simple in shape, and basic in design, but the recruits still showed them off with pride. These swords were for a more general, broad range fighting style, where the owner was well-balanced between strength, and speed. 

A couple had Katana-styled blades like Sephiroth, even if they were much shorter than the general’s massive Masamune. These thin blades cut easily through the air, and typically meant the wielder was more adapted for speed, and light on their feet. 

Very few -- in fact, only one in this particular group -- held a sword like the ones Angeal, Zack, and Cloud worked with. Buster swords were rare, as they required a massive amount of training and conditioning to be able to control. The wielder had to hold a significant level of strength, and make up for their lack of speed with the ability to read little movements from their opponent, so that they could block attacks smaller sword wielders would normally be able to dodge. It was a brutal weapon, which usually matched the fighting spirit of the one who held it. 

Actually, it was a little known fact at Shinra that one of the first things that had piqued Angeal’s interest in Zack, had been his weapon match. 

It made the barest shadow of a smile form on the silver-haired man’s face, as he thought of how much Cloud’s weapon suited him, even if, by all logic, it shouldn’t. For someone like the blonde, most weapons masters wouldn’t have hesitated to give him a general sword. He was lean, but not bulky, and his height definitely would have come off as a disadvantage in the face of such a massive weapon. 

What made the sword suit Cloud so well, wasn’t his outward appearance, but his fighting spirit. Enhancements generally helped clear the strength gap, and the height problem could be worked around with conditioning, but in the end, it all came down to the personality of a SOLDIER. Many of the students showing off their new weapons in this hall, would have completely different ones later on. 

The tiny smirk melted off Sephiroth's face, when another thought filtered into his mind. With everything that has been going on lately, between Junon, and now Fort Condor, he had begun to second guess his plan to keep the blonde in the dark. Angeal and Zack had messaged him about Cloud’s strange words in the hallway the previous night, and it was becoming more and more apparent that he might know something they didn’t. Even so, this didn’t make any sense. 

Cloud clearly wasn’t the person behind these issues, as he was already under their watch before anything started happening. Not to mention, the blonde, according to Angeal, seemed extremely shaken up by what he believed could be transpiring. Did Cloud know the person behind these incidents? And, if so, could he know how to stop them? 

It was a risky thing, to consider bringing Cloud into this mess. Firstly, the younger man wasn’t even inducted into Shinra yet. As far as the company was concerned, Cloud was still an outsider under their guardianship. Plans had been made to try and set things in motion to assimilate him into their department, but they were only plans, and not a guaranteed course of action yet. Revealing classified information to an outsider could be bad, even if Sephiroth was almost positive Cloud was innocent in all of this. 

The second risk came in the face of Cloud’s current mental state. All four of them had already agreed not to push the blonde too far until they were sure he could handle it. Cloud wasn’t fragile, not in the sense of his physical being. However, if he did know what was happening, and he truly was as terrified of the very idea as Angeal thought him to be, then revealing the truth could make things messy. 

On the other hand, if he didn’t seek Cloud out for information on this matter, they were still stumbling blindly in the dark. They had no idea what face the next catastrophe would take on, nor when it would happen. 

It felt like a game of chance, and Sephiroth didn’t care for those all too much. 

“Seph? Are you alright?” A concerned voice asked, just a short ways away from where the silver-haired man was looking through one of the glass windows of a training facility. 

Sephiroth turned to face the owner of the voice, and was greeted with Zack. The black-haired man appeared as though he’d just gotten out of the shower not that long ago, little droplets still falling from the ends of his hair. His face was a bit flushed, no doubt from the heat at which he turned the water up to. For how cold he kept his apartment, the younger SOLDIER took showers that would make the devil himself cry. 

“Fine,” Sephiroth answered shortly, turning his attention back to the students practicing inside the combat room. His eyes watched their movements calculatingly, even as his brain wandered off somewhere else. 

He knew Zack was moving closer by the sound of his footsteps hitting the floor, he didn’t react, however, until a drop of air-chilled water fell onto the back of his hand. He glanced down at the glistening drop as it cascaded down his ring finger, and plipped onto the ground. 

“Do you not know how to dry your own hair?” Sephiroth asked, giving Zack a disapproving look. 

“I do, but I swear my hair is like a sponge -- it doesn’t matter how many times I dry it, it’s still soaking wet,” Zack replied, tugging a strand of his black hair in front of his face. 

The silver-haired man sighed, before pulling Zack along with him to one of the public locker room facilities. They were typically only used by recruits, who needed to wash up after training or working. Inside, there was no lack of dull, white towels, piled high on a rack next to the showers. 

Sephiroth sat Zack down on one of the rows of benches between the lockers themselves, and clicked his tongue when the SOLDIER tried to pop back up. 

“Stay,” the older man ordered, pressing back down on Zack’s shoulders so he was forced to sit back down. 

“My hair is fine, Seph,” the black-haired man complained, his face displaying exactly how much he wanted to protest. 

“You’re going to fall ill if you walk around like this,” Sephiroth fired back, his tone hard, and unyielding. This was his normal demeanor, but more so today than usual. 

Sephiroth grabbed one of the white towels, before making his way back over to where Zack sat. He wrapped the younger man’s head up in the material, swatting his hand away when Zack tried to take hold of the cloth himself. 

“I’ll do it, just sit still and be good,” Sephiroth chastised. The way he ruffled the towel over the black spikes was done so with a firm hand, yet he was also gentle in the way he made sure not to press too hard, or jostle Zack’s neck. 

“You wanna talk about the sour ass mood you’re in?” Zack quizzed, peeking up at the silver-haired man through the bottom of the towel. 

Sephiroth pressed the cloth down over his eyes, eliciting a whine of disapproval from the younger man. 

“I’m not,” the general refuted, continuing to work the towel, more gently, over Zack's head. 

“Are to,” Zack argued back, in a childishly mocking tone. 

“Are you five?” Sephiroth asked, half expecting his youngest lover to poke his head out of the towel, and stick his tongue out at him. 

“Are you afraid of talking about your feelings?” Zack, ever the barking little puppy, fired back his own question. 

“I already have ‘spoken about my feelings,’ and I’ve told you I’m fine.” With those words, Sephiroth finally managed to get the tufts of black hair dry enough that they were no longer dripping all over the place. He made short work of rolling up the towel, before throwing it in the laundry hamper next to the rack. 

“And I’m telling you, that I’ve known you long enough to know when something is bothering you. Is it your fight with Gen? Work? Cloud?” Zack began firing out his guesses as to what could be gnawing at the back of the general’s head. 

Sephiroth unhappily admitted in his own mind, that it was technically all of the above. His fight with Gen had him aggravated, work had him stressed, and Cloud had him concerned. And somehow, in all of this, he had zero answers for how to fix any of it. 

“It isn’t something for you to be concerned with,” Sephiroth finally answered, his mouth settling into a thin line from the defiant glare he received. 

“It is my concern, because according to the universal laws of dating, YOU are my concern. When you’re upset, it upsets me too.” Zack continued his angry half-pout, half-glare, which began stirring up more unwanted emotions in the general. 

“Watch your attitude, flower,” Sephiroth warned in a deep, dangerous voice. “If you really suspect me of being in a foul mood, then under what pretence do you think I won’t punish you for bad behavior?” He asked, his hands already twitching at his sides from the desire to make do on his implied warning. 

Silver-green eyes honed in on Zack’s throat, where it moved from the younger swallowing hard. 

“This is about your attitude, not mine.” Zack tried to pull their conversation back on track, even as logic was slowly leaving his mind from the fiery look Sephiroth pinned him with. 

“Are you certain? Because, to me, it seems like you’re thinking about a lot more than my ‘attitude,’” Sephiroth teased, able to smell in the air the way Zack’s arousal was piquing. 

This time, before Zack even had the opportunity to sass off, Sephiroth closed the distance between them, placing a firm hand on a tanned hip, and tangling the other in damp hair. 

***

“Seph--” Zack began, but was silenced immediately by sharp canines nipping at his lower lip. 

The silver-haired man had always had a pair of rather sharp incisors, which he knew how to use quite well. They weren’t any different from normal canines in the sense of size and shape; they were just much sharper at the ends. 

Zack knew, when those incisors grazed across the skin of his lip, it was a sign for him to be quiet. Heat had already begun to pool into his stomach, while his heart started beating more erratically in his chest, and his breathing picked up its pace. This was getting dangerous though, as they weren’t exactly in one of their beds back home. 

At the sound of an involuntary groan bubbling up from Zack’s throat, Sephiroth found he was quickly losing control. With little to no effort, he flipped the younger man onto his stomach on the bench, looming over him possessively as he pressed the smaller body down with his own. When Zack tried to press back up, the silver-haired man grunted and placed a hand on the back of that slim neck. The younger SOLDIER was trapped against the bench, with his growing erection pressing painfully into the hard wood. 

“Seph, we can’t do this here… anyone could walk in,” Zack pleaded, wondering why both Sephiroth and Genesis seemed adamant about trying to get caught in such a situation. 

“Are you scared, puppy? Scared someone who admires you as a hero will walk through that door, and see you getting fucked by your general?” Sephiroth asked, tracing his tongue along the edge of Zack’s ear after he finished speaking. 

Something like a growl started to rise out of Zack’s throat, but it soon changed into a soft moan at the hot, wet sensation on his ear. 

“What would they say, I wonder? Rumors would probably spread that you slept your way into first class. People might start accusing you of getting passed around by all of your fellow elites--” Sephiroth trailed, thrusting his hips down into Zack’s ass. “Though,” the silver-haired man leaned in closer so he could whisper directly into Zack’s ear, “They’d be right, wouldn’t they? Angeal, Genesis, and myself, you’ve been had by us all.” 

“Seph, please -- stop,” Zack begged, his voice coming out more like an aroused mewl than a cry for mercy. 

“You know your safe words, flower. Just one little word, and we can walk out of here right now,” Sephiroth reminded, making sure Zack knew he had a way out of this. 

Zack, as much as he didn’t want to get caught in this position, also couldn’t imagine just walking out the way he was now. So instead of stopping everything like logic told him he should, he found himself thrusting his ass back into Sephiroth’s clothed groin. 

“Good boy,” Sephiroth growled, before wrapping his hand around Zack’s neck, and pulling him up. 

Zack let out a gasp of shock, but followed the older man’s lead as he dragged them to the back of the locker room. The black-haired man stumbled when he was pushed into a bathroom stall at the very back of the space. He would have fallen had Sephiroth not taken great care in grabbing his arm to steady him. 

“Turn around,” the general commanded, and Zack knew better than to get too cocky with Sephiroth like he would have with Gen or Angeal. 

When Sephiroth told you to do something, you did it, otherwise you would definitely find yourself regretting it. So instead of mouthing off, Zack did as he was told, though he did allow himself the pleasure of glaring at the wall. 

“Bend,” Sephiroth barked the next order, placing a hand on Zack’s lower back so he bent forward. He made short work of grabbing both of the younger’s slim wrists in his hands, pressing Zack’s palms onto the back of the toilet he leaned over. 

It felt filthy, and Zack was quickly growing to love it. 

“Do not move your hands from this spot, or you will be punished, am I understood?” Sephiroth asked, making Zack repeat the words so the general knew he had grasped them. 

In one swift motion, the silver-haired man yanked both Zack’s pants, and underwear down to his knees. The younger’s hardened cock got caught in the fabric during its descent, causing the member to bounce up and hit his stomach when it was freed. 

“Ah!” Zack shouted from the sensation, his eyes shooting wide open, and breaking the glare he’d been holding. 

Sephiroth tsked at the way the sound echoed in the small space, and quickly tore the underwear Zack had been wearing from around the man’s legs. The sound of tearing fabric only served to make a shiver go down the black-haired man’s spine, as he now knew he’d be going home commando. 

He had no idea what the general planned to use his tattered underwear for, until he felt it pressing against his lips. 

“Open,” Sephiroth, living up to his reputation among the four as the king of short commands, prompted the younger man. 

Zack couldn’t give in to every order he was given though, because that just wasn’t his style. So instead of doing as told, he shook his head defiantly, and kept his lips sealed. This didn’t last long, however, when a strong hand, quite literally, had him by the balls. The sudden, sharp pain, though not unbearable, did shock him into opening his mouth in a gasp. 

The material of the underwear, which carried the saltiness of some of his own precum, was pressed against his tongue in a way that it couldn’t be forced back out. He coughed a little, but sighed when Sephiroth stroked his throat lovingly. 

“Listen to my words carefully, Zack. Seeing as how you cannot use safe words in this position, we need to set a couple of new guidelines. If you want for me to slow down, you knock once,” Sephiroth stated, running his fingers along the knuckles of one of Zack’s hands. “If you want me to stop everything immediately, you knock twice.” The silver-haired man finished his statement by knocking his own knuckles against the porcelain beneath the younger’s palms. “Nod if you understand.” 

Zack’s head bobbed up and down, his mind clouded over with lust enough that he wanted Sephiroth to keep going, but also understood the importance of listening to these words. 

“Good,” was the only uttering from Sephiroth that Zack got, before he felt a finger probing his entrance. 

Reflexively, the black-haired man jerked his hips away from the sudden sensation, only for his hips to be caught by Sephiroth’s free hand, and pulled back. Zack groaned when the single digit penetrated the tight ring of muscle, unsurprised by the burn considering the lack of lubrication. 

“You’re tight, almost like a virgin. How long has it been since you’ve been had down here?” Sephiroth asked, knowing Zack would find frustration alone in the fact that he couldn’t say anything snarky in reply. “I could just force my way inside, without care for preparation, but you’re not a pain slut like Genesis is, are you?” Sephiroth quizzed, more to himself this time than the man beneath him. 

Zack grunted nervously, shaking his head no. His legs shook from the thought alone of Sephiroth, with his practically illegal size, pressing into him without lubricant or prep first. 

“You know who else I’m positive is a whore for pain?” Sephiroth whispered into the black-haired man’s ear, earning another head shake of no from Zack. “Cloud,” the general answered his own question, his breath making his lover’s ear feel hot and cold at the same time. 

That had a strong reaction from the younger SOLDIER, whose hips bucked back against the digit that thrusted in and out of him. Zack tried to shake his head no again, but this time, his hair was caught in Sephiroth’s iron grip. 

“No? Can’t see your adorable little ‘Cloudy’ begging for me to shove myself inside without so much as a drop of lube, minute of prep, or condom?” Now Sephiroth was teasing, but the silver-haired man also believed the words he was saying to be true. 

Zack made a sound of denial in the back of his throat, which turned into a desperate whine as a second finger joined the first. 

“Oh but I can. I can see him pleading for the same from you as well. What do you think he’d sound like -- asking his beloved Zack to make it so he can’t walk for days.” Sephiroth punctuated his words by sharply pressing his fingers into the younger’s hole, eliciting a deep, sensual moan. “He’d beg you to let him cum, even though in the back of his head, he’d be praying to Gaia that the pain of orgasm denial would continue.” A third finger was added, and the older man rubbed a soothing hand down Zack’s spine when he stiffened. “And he likes salty food so much, that I’d be willing to bet he’s a little cum slut as well. Think of how pretty he’d look, with his mouth and ass stuffed to the brim with all of our semen.” Sephiroth continued to tease harder, allowing his fingers to torturously graze against Zack’s prostate 

The smaller man’s back arched beautifully from the action, almost allowing himself to let out a loud moan, when the sound of the locker room door opening had his eyes snapping open. He knew from his own days as a recruit that no one came back here to use these stalls, but he also knew sound carried easily in the echoey room. 

Sephiroth took this opportunity to pull his fingers out of Zack’s hole, place a hand over his mouth, and line his cock up with his lover’s entrance. The black-haired man shook his head now in the grip when he felt the blunt tip of the general’s member. Sephiroth waited a moment to see if Zack would knock against the porcelain, ending things. When the knock never came, he smirked devilishly against the skin on the back of the younger man’s neck, and pressed forwards. 

Zack choked mutely on a whine of bliss, and fear that was desperately trying to come up. Sephiroth was the largest of all of them, and to take him in while being forced to not let out a sound was like mission impossible. 

Most of his rationale gone by now, Sephiroth was swiftly being overcome by that darker, more dangerous side of himself. His hips snapped forward at a faster and faster pace, while his teeth dug into Zack’s skin. He remained quiet, for that little voice in the back of his head told him he had to, but his body forced him to see things through until the end. 

Zack found himself gripping the surface under his hands tightly, so he wouldn’t end up collapsing from the powerful force Sephiroth used. He felt like putty under the larger man’s fingers, his entire mind falling into a blank slate of submission the closer he got to orgasm. 

All it took was a few more debilitating thrusts, and Zack went falling over the edge. The squeezing of his entrance around Sephiroth’s cock caused the general to sink his teeth deeper into Zack’s skin, before spilling his seed inside. The sensation was hot as it filled the black-haired man up completely, a small line of the liquid escaping, and dribbling down his thigh. 

As Sephiroth came down, he took to running his hands lovingly over Zack’s sides, and through his hair. The aftercare he gave was simple, and not as much as he’d like, but both of them had been in here for a while, and still had responsibilities to attend to. He placed feather light kisses up Zack’s spine, before nuzzling softly against where his hair jet-black met his neck. 

“That’s my sweet little flower, such a good boy--” Sephiroth trailed, being mindful of how loud he talked so whoever else was in the locker room wouldn’t hear. He finally pulled Zack’s underwear from the younger’s mouth, and listened to the gasps of breath he took in. 

“You,” Zack panted a couple more times before continuing, “are an absolute devil,” he finished. 

Sephiroth hummed, the corners of his lips quirking up at the half-hearted insult. He pulled his softening member out of Zack’s ass, and looked down at his cum that was trying to escape. The general didn’t like that, because his cum inside his lover was proof of who he belonged to. Glancing down at the underwear in his hand, he decided to let Zack wear the undergarments out after all. 

Zack barely managed to contain his shout of surprise, when he felt something plugging up his abused entrance. He soon realized it was his own underwear that Sephiroth was using to keep his cum from coming out. 

“We don’t have the luxury of time to clean you out, and you need somewhere to put your underwear, therefore, this is a best course of action,” Sephiroth stated, pushing the underwear further into place. Once it was settled in, he looked his work over proudly, and admired the way Zack’s legs shook from the sensation of the cum sloshing around inside. He wrapped an arm around the younger’s waist, helping him to stand up straight. Once Sephiroth was sure Zack was steady on his feet, he went to pull his lover’s pants back up his legs, but jolted when someone knocked on the stall they were still hiding in. 

***

“Are you two done in there yet?” Angeal’s voice rang out in the locker room, “I’m bored of playing guard dog while you have your fun -- I have a meeting in ten minutes, and Zack has to teach a conditioning class.”

Zack’s eyes widened with horror when he was reminded of the class he had to teach in less than half an hour. He wouldn’t even have time to go home and clean up before he was due to be in the classroom. 

He was completely, and utterly screwed. 

\------------------------

When Cloud woke up, the first thing he noticed was how devoid of nightmares his sleep had been. He didn’t wake up, jolting out of bed from a panic attack, nor did he have the spin-tingling fear that his enemy was waiting for him when he opened his eyes. He felt safe, and secure, and was almost willing to allow himself to drift back off to sleep, but he knew he’d already slept long enough. 

The second thing he noticed was how warm, and cozy he felt, with a comfortable weight resting over the side of his body. He snuggled back into the warmth, sighing contentedly from the sheer comfort it brought him. However, his eyes snapped open when that comfort groaned back. He went to sit up in the bed, only to realize there was a strong arm wrapped around his waist, preventing him from moving a single inch. His back was pressed against the front of Genesis, who had his arm secured around the blonde. 

Cloud searched through his brain for a way to get out of this without Genesis waking up, but he wasn’t even sure how heavy, or light of a sleeper the older man was. He decided to air on the side of caution, and took to slowly shimmying his way down, hoping to escape the hold by slipping underneath it. 

“Cloud, what are you doing?” Genesis grunted out, his voice thick from sleep, and making Cloud nearly jump out of his own skin. 

“What are you doing?!” Cloud shot back, his heart racing a million miles a minute as he gestured to the arm that trapped him. 

“I asked you first,” the redhead muttered tiredly, a yawn following his words. 

“My question makes more sense,” Cloud retorted quickly, feeling rather childish from this foolish argument. 

Genesis nearly got punched in the face when had the nerve to answer with “I’m keeping you warm.” 

“I’m not cold,” Cloud fired. 

“Because I’ve been keeping you warm,” Genesis restated, still having yet to open his eyes. 

“Would you mind letting me freeze?” Cloud asked, mock politeness in his voice. 

“Your heart is already frozen enough, ya’ little spitfire,” Genesis groaned, but stiffened when he realized he’d slipped up. It was too late though, because Cloud had already heard it. 

“Do you-- do you have an accent, Genesis?” Cloud asked, stilling his actions for a moment out of shock from the fact that the man who always articulated his words so well, and quoted verses like a well-groomed city boy, had a thick country-like accent when he woke up. 

Genesis released Cloud like the blonde carried the plague, before shoving him off of the bed. 

Cloud let out a shout as he fell to the ground, his head popping up a few seconds later with his trademark glare plastered on his features. 

“That’s what happens when you make fun of people,” Genesis stated snidely, his eyes now open, and challenging Cloud’s glare in return. 

“I didn’t make fun of you,” Cloud refuted, flinching at the ache in his side after falling onto the hard ground. 

Genesis was about to continue their bickering further, when an ill-timed guest decided to waltz into the room unannounced. 

The silence that followed was so deafening, that you could hear a feather fall to the ground. 

Now, how did one go about explaining this?

\-------------------------

Dun dun dunnn -- Question of the day: Who do you think walked in on Genesis and Cloud?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lovely cover by: Lauren Babic and Seraphim


	21. Ghost Town

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and Genesis deal with their unexpected visitor -- one better than the other. Angeal deals with an upset Cloud, finding a safer way to give the blonde the pain he craves. Reno is up to some shady stuff, as usual. Cloud has another dream of the girl he still can't remember, followed by an interesting conversation with Angeal. Genesis and Sephiroth get an emergency alert on their PHS about something pertaining to their blonde captive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ ME
> 
> Okay! I have an explanation, lol. So the reason I have been missing for so long is because I have been writing ahead two chapters. Why have I been writing ahead two chapters? Well if you go to my Twitter below, I will tell you, and tell you how to can read ahead a chapter today. :) 
> 
> Thank you guys so much for all of Your support, and other than the announcement on my Twitter, I don’t really have any authors notes for you today. :)
> 
> Twitter: https://mobile.twitter.com/AiyaniF

I cannot sleep  
I cannot see  
It's getting harder and harder to breathe  
Six feet buried beneath  
And all the dust is following me  
And the lights go out  
Grit my teeth shut my mouth  
When the night come around  
I become a ghost town

Cloud’s heart thrummed wildly in his chest, the feeling like he was just caught in some incriminating act weighing over his head like a stormy sky. Even he couldn’t keep complete composure in this situation, his eyes widening from the mixture of thoughts, emotions, and fears going through his mind. That’s when the realization of exactly what he’d done fully hit him like a cold dose of reality. Last night, he’d kissed Genesis, the feeling still a present ghost against his lips. He’d shared a bed with the man, and had, quite possibly, the best sleep he’d had in years. Barely even a day prior, he’d kissed Zack, and loved every second of it. He was overwhelmed with these desires that he shouldn’t have, and definitely shouldn’t be acting upon. 

Why was he allowing this to happen?

Why couldn’t he seem to control himself?

Why was it that, when it came to these men, he was constantly making mistakes the normal Cloud Strife would never even consider? 

And more importantly, in this moment, why was Sephiroth barging into Genesis’s room like he owned the place?

Sephiroth stood still in the room’s entrance, his hand still grasped on the handle of the door. His expression was unreadable for the most part, but he was clearly caught off guard by the scene he’d walked in on. 

“What do you want?” Genesis asked from the bed, his voice betraying all of the anger he still felt for the silver-haired man. Was it really so normal for Sephiroth to just enter the other’s homes though, that he had no reaction to that whatsoever?

Cloud wanted to run. 

He felt cornered -- caged -- like a bird being watched by the predatory eyes of a cat, without any way to escape its bared prison. 

The general did glance in Genesis’s direction when he asked the question, but for the majority of the time he stood in that doorway, his eyes were glued on Cloud’s sprawled form on the ground. His facial features were stern, and well guarded, but even the “emotionless silver general” could be read after a while. If Cloud didn’t know any better, he’d think Sephiroth was… pleased. Confused, and very curious how this all came to pass, absolutely, but why did the way the corner of his lips tilted, his head cocked, and his eyes brighten say he was enjoying what he was seeing? 

“Cloud, I thought you were supposed to be with Angeal,” Sephiroth’s baritone voice rang out, an air of amusement lacing the words. 

Don’t say anything Cloud, just keep your trap shut. Don’t say what you’re thinking of saying, it’ll only dig you into a deeper hole. Don’t say it. DON’T SAY IT.

“And I thought you were supposed to knock on people’s doors before entering their homes, cocky bastard.” 

Fuck, he’d said it. 

Each syllable was laced with venom and mocking, his eyes narrowing to the challenge. The defensive feeling he’d felt welling up inside had been steadily growing since Sephiroth had entered the room. Like an idiot, instead of just ignoring the situation, and waiting for a moment to escape like the level-headed Cloud would have done, he’d lashed out. 

Cloud heard a choking noise coming from the bed, and glanced over to see Genesis with a triumphant smirk on his face. Normally, the blonde knew Genesis would have probably said something equally as snippy in Sephiroth’s stead, in order to counter Cloud. However, because of his ongoing quarrel with the general, it was like the tables had turned and Cloud was doing the exact same thing for Genesis. The redheaded SOLDIER loved it, even if he was fully aware this didn’t mean Cloud was on his side; it just meant the younger male had been poked the wrong way, and was trying to defend his own pride. 

‘A cornered Cloud, in moderation, was a fun Cloud’, Genesis made the mental note. 

“And if I had knocked, do you really expect me to believe either of you would have answered?” Sephiroth quizzed in return, his arms crossing over his chest, and his head tilting backwards with his superiority. 

“No, which is why I’m still confused about you being here, when it is clear you know your presence is not wanted.” You need to shut up Cloud, you just need to find an opening, and slip away. The blonde really didn’t want to be at Angeal’s place right now, hating how wishy washy his living situation had been as of late. However, anywhere was better than here. He couldn’t exactly go to Zack’s place, because things still felt extremely tense for him. So he was left with only that one option, and simply hoped Angeal wouldn’t do something to make him think he should just jump out the window at this point to escape the four. 

“I could ask the same of you, why is it, that when I walk in I catch you leaving Genesis’s bed?” And there it was, the sentence out of Sephiroth’s mouth that made Cloud regret ever having opened his at all. 

The blonde’s face felt uncomfortably warm, while his gut was filled with that icy feeling he’d grown used to having around Sephiroth. The hot and cold danced around each other in his body, making his mind blank, and his muscles tense. He couldn’t answer that question, because he knew answering it would mean admitting to something he wasn’t able to relent. He could never tell the silver-haired devil that he’d come to comfort Genesis, nor could he utter about the kiss they’d shared, and the way he’d allowed himself to crawl into the redhead’s bed. Absolutely not, he’d sooner cut out his own tongue. 

Sephiroth took the look of horror on Cloud’s face in stride, and stepped further into the room. 

“Sephiroth,” he heard the warning in Genesis’s voice from the bed, his lover knowing how the general reacted to such challenges. Cloud, of course, wasn’t aware of that side of Sephiroth yet, but the oldest SOLDIER couldn’t ignore the voice inside, which screamed its promise that the young blonde would learn someday soon. 

The silver-haired man crouched down before Cloud, whose entire body was tensed, as sweat beaded up on his skin. 

Fear, Sephiroth’s trained mind supplied. Cloud was afraid of him, even though he had no idea why, but the predatory instincts inside him were screaming, and clawing to the surface. 

“You should be careful where you shake that pretty tongue, Cloud; make sure you can finish the battles you start,” Sephiroth chastised, his eyes glinting with something dangerous, and dark. 

Cloud was met with flashes of the Silver-haired demon -- licked by ashes and flame -- from his nightmares, and the silhouette of the Sephiroth from this world, who he had been trying to know. The overlapping of both forms came alight in that moment, and created a new image entirely -- one the blonde had no idea how to react to. They stared each other down, both sets of eyes alight with different emotions, and trying to read the other. 

This fear; he had to force it down. But he was afraid of what emotion he’d find underneath. The fear was aimed at the Sephiroth from his past, so if he managed to lock it away, what feeling would he then be met with? Cloud didn’t want to show weakness to the one person on Gaia he’d always seeked to best. But showing the feeling hidden beneath that might prove even more debilitating than the terror. 

He unconsciously leaned away from the silver-haired man, his tongue becoming a victim of his gnawing teeth. Nervous habits he tried so hard to get rid of. Even when he was uncomfortable with Tifa in the past, he’d always lean away from her. It wasn’t a sign of disgust, but rather, a sign of distrust in himself. He didn’t trust how he’d react in situations that made him unable to think properly, or hold a solid frame of mind. The tongue-gnawing, well, that was just the side of him that craved pain, and self-destruction as punishment for his own actions. 

‘Make it hurt. Make me forget. Make it sting, make it burn, make it disappear.’ Cloud’s mind repeated over and over, the same mantra it always had when he felt the terrifying shadows of his past memories creeping in. 

Before the blonde knew it, a line of blood spilled from his mouth, and tricked down his chin. 

Sephiroth’s eyes instantly shot down to it, before flickering back up to Cloud’s, trying to read what lied there. Unlike the others, he never found himself frantic when the blonde harmed himself. He was concerned with the tendency, absolutely, but he always found the younger man’s face revealed so much more in these moments of self-punishment. 

“Cloud,” Genesis shot up from the bed, quickly making his way to the blonde’s side. 

Cloud couldn’t hear him though, or rather, it sounded like the redhead was speaking to him while he was submerged in water. He barely registered the feeling of hands on his face, and a thumb trying to pry its way into his mouth, nor the fingers digging into his jaw, trying to get it to unclench. 

‘Make it hurt,’ the voice in the blonde’s head hissed -- begged -- once more. Silvery-green eyes stared straight into his own, and made it impossible for him to tear his gaze away. Trapped. Sephiroth could probably read everything: his fear, hatred, confusion, and perhaps even his secret growing affections for two first class SOLDIERs. 

“Cloud, stop it! Open your mouth,” Genesis barked, worried the blonde might bite his own tongue off if things continued further. 

Finally having enough of things, and having gauged all he could from Cloud safely enough, Sephiroth decided to step in. He nudged Genesis to the side, taking a shocked Cloud’s chin in his grip. He pushed a thumb into a corner of the blonde’s mouth, and used his other hand to press into a pressure point in the younger’s jaw. The combination of both finally had Cloud opening his mouth, and releasing the clamp on his tongue. Blood spilled out like water did from a broken dam, dribbling down his pale chin and into his lap. Cloud coughed as some of it spilled down the back of his throat, and made him gag with the coppery taste. 

Sephiroth leaned in closer to a pant Cloud, who looked just as shocked by the situation as Genesis. 

“Does making yourself hurt make the pain go away? Where does it hurt, Cloud?” Sephiroth asked the riddling question, his thumb still pressed inside the corner of the blonde’s mouth. 

Cloud took this opportunity to bite down on the appendage, causing the general to instinctively retreat from the sharp sting. 

The younger quickly stood, faltering for only a moment before retreating. 

‘All you do is run away!’ That nagging voice drew forth again, and Cloud wanted to cover his ears, but he couldn’t escape it when it was inside him. 

Running down the hall with blood staining his chin, he probably looked psychotic -- like he’d just ripped out someone’s jugular with his bare teeth. He couldn’t go back to Zack’s home, not without creating more unwelcome feelings. Angeal’s place was the only one left to him, and he really didn’t even want to be there. He wanted to be alone, with his own space. He wanted to be riding through the desert planes of Fenrir, without so much as a single soul in sight. At least when he was alone, he wasn’t forced to face the difficult things he didn’t want to. 

Before he knew it, Cloud was slamming through the front door of Angeal’s apartment. The raven had been sitting in the living room, one leg crossed over the other, head tilted into his palm. He had been flipping his way through a file when the blonde busted in, his reflexes making him tense in preparation for a fight at the sudden intrusion. 

Cloud tried to keep his head down, and his face hidden behind his har as he made his way to the bathroom. If he could just clean his face off without Angeal seeing anything, then he could say he had a stomach ache or something. The worse he’d have to worry about then was being forced to eat soup, and lay in bed watching some corny action movie. 

“Cloud, what’s wrong?” Angeal asked, instantly getting up to go to the blonde’s side. 

Cloud continued his route to the bathroom, his pace picking up even more in a pitiful attempt at escape. Angeal’s own footfalls grew quicker and heavier in kind, trying to catch up to the younger male before he could get away. 

“Hey, look at me,” Angeal berated, his concern growing by the second. Yah, Cloud could be evasive, but this was different. This wasn’t the blonde being his normally reserved self; this was him trying to hide something from the raven. 

Cloud nearly let out a cry of joy when he managed to slip into the bathroom, but that joy was quickly stomped out when Angeal managed to push his way in after the blonde, before he could close the door. 

“Angeal go away,” Cloud growled, his bangs still covering his face as he took steps backwards. 

“No, what are you hiding from me,” Angeal growled, taking his own frustrated steps forwards. 

The SOLDIER heard the wet sound of something dripping, and at first thought he might’ve not turned the sink faucet all the way off. However, when the dripping happened again, he realized the sound was coming from the floor at his feet, and looked down to see crimson speckles against the white tile. At the same time he made this discovery, Cloud’s footfalls backwards had him tripping over the edge of the tub. Angeal grunted and managed to catch him by his shirt before he could crack his head open on the marble. 

When he pulled Cloud back up to face him, he finally saw what the blonde had been trying to hide from him so desperately. 

“What happened?” Angeal asked, his pitch low and dangerous, but as calm as he could make it so as not to exacerbate the situation. 

Cloud stayed silent, his eyes betraying nothing of what he felt. It was like looking at the same, bottled up man from the first time they met in Zack’s home. 

Angeal’s first thought was that someone had hit the younger male, but he knew the only ones that had access to this floor were the four first class elites. Considering their previous conversation, and their efforts to get Cloud to step away from his destructive tendencies, he knew none of them would do that. Which left only one other explanation that wasn’t an accident. 

“You did this to yourself?” Angeal asked, tapping a finger under Cloud’s chin to get him to turn his face up. 

“Let go,” Cloud growled, jerking his head away from the touch. 

“No,” Angeal countered back, not willing to listen to the words spilling from a mouth that also spilled blood. Instead of letting his finger lay loosely under Cloud’s chin, this time, Angeal grabbed it between his thumb and forefinger. “Why do you do these things to yourself? Do you just not think, or do you really need to feel the pain that badly?” The raven quizzed, running his thumb through the flowing stream in an attempt at wiping some of it away. He used his free hand to drag Cloud to the sink. When the blonde managed to get his chin out of the grip again, he tsked and changed tactics. 

Cloud was caught completely off guard when a pair of hands grabbed him under his thighs, and hoisted him onto the counter next to the sink. His first instinct was to send a fist flying, but Angeal, having expected that reaction, caught the appendage with ease. 

“Stop, Cloud,” he warned, giving the blonde a hard look through his lashes. 

“You stop. All of you just stop. My problems are my problems, and aren’t anything you need to worry about or fix. Stop talking to me, stop touching me, and stop making me feel and face things I don’t want to.” Cloud bared his teeth as he spoke, his eyes narrow, and challenging. 

In the past, Angeal might’ve felt frustrated, but by now, after having known Cloud and his behavior all this time, he knew all this was, was the blonde’s own fears. 

Alright love, if you really crave pain that badly…

Angeal sighed -- these things were much more Genesis and Sephiroth’s forte, but he wanted to test something. 

“Calm down, and let me make sure you haven’t hurt yourself too bad,” Angeal ordered, hoping that would be enough. 

Cloud didn’t grace him with the sound of growling and shouting this time, instead, he tried kicking the raven in the chest. Angeal shoved the foot out of the way before it could connect, and pressed forwards. He grabbed the hands Cloud brought up to retaliate in one of his own, slamming them to the counter. The action made Cloud’s body lean towards where his hands pressed against icy marble, disorienting him enough for his neck to be on full display. Angeal saw his opening, and used his free hand to grip Cloud by the back of his neck, and press his thumb against the younger’s mandibular pressure point. This point on the body caused no actual harm to the recipient, but it did cause a throbbing pain to radiate down the neck. 

Cloud’s lips parted in a silent shout, his eyes going wide as he froze in place. The ache radiated from his jaw, and down through the side of his neck. He was like a cat who had been caught by the scruff of his neck, and the only sound he managed to get out was a stifled groan. His limbs went limp, and he found himself unable to fight at all as he both reveled in the pain, and tried to deny it. 

Angeal leaned forwards so his mouth was hovering right over Cloud’s ear.

“I’ve known you long enough now, sweetheart, that I know exactly why you do these things to yourself. The physical pain helps to block out the mental you suffer through. You crave it like an addict craves his fix, but it is not healthy, and you could cause serious damage.” 

Angeal’s voice was deep, and hot in Cloud’s ear, making a shiver travel down the blonde’s spine.His eyes began fluttering as the pain took him over, and began to replace all of the anger and fear he felt. 

“If you want it so badly that you can’t stand it, then allow me to help you,” Angeal finished, punctuating his words by bearing down a little harder on the pressure point. 

Cloud gave a short shout at the sudden assault, his body going fully limp in Angeal’s grasp. The raven wouldn’t admit that it made him want to do other things. Things outside of just trying to calm the blonde down, but he bit his lip and shoved those thoughts down before they could cause a problem.

When he deemed the situation to be back in his control, the SOLDIER released his old on Cloud, and allowed the younger male to lean back against the wall behind the counter. 

“Better?” Angeal asked, replacing his fingers under Cloud’s chin so he could look inside the injured mouth. 

The blonde gave no resistance, nor any reply, he just laid back in a state of silence and calm. 

Actually, it sort of reminded Angeal of how his lovers acted after a gruelling scene, where they simply basked in the afterglow of subspace. Of course, he and Cloud hadn’t gone through a session before, but the intimacy might be on a similar level in some ways. Cloud needed something, and Angeal gave him what he desired. Now he was free to tend the matter at hand without fighting with a grown man like he was a toddler. 

“Open,” the raven urged, trying his best to get a look at where the blood was coming from. Instead of waiting for Cloud to listen, he used the command as more of a warning for his next actions. 

He pressed down on Cloud’s lower teeth with his fingers, and tilted the blonde head up so the overhead light provided more illumination. Like this, he could see the teeth marks imprinted in the pink skin of his tongue, still swelling with beads of blood. 

“I don’t know what to do with you half the time,” Angeal stated, chuckling a bit to try and lighten the atmosphere. 

Trying to think, he released Cloud and patted his pockets searching for something he remembered he had from breakfast. He pulled a packet of sugar out from the front of his combat pants with a satisfied grunt, and went to work tilting Cloud’s head back again. 

“This should stop the bleeding,” he stated, before pouring the packet over the wounds in the soft flesh. 

Cloud’s face instantly scrunched up, and Angeal was quick to move his fingers away from the younger’s teeth when his mouth clamped shut. 

“Gross,” Cloud groaned, the sweetness and taste of blood and sugar mixing in a horrifying concoction on his tongue. 

“Come on, I know you hate sweets, but it’s gotta be better than drinking your own blood,” Angeal deadpanned, noticing Cloud’s clarity returning to him. 

Now that this was out of the way, maybe he could actually begin sifting through the pile of work he’d built up. Later tonight, he’d sit down and actually try to have a proper conversation with the blonde, but for now, he had things that had to be done, and he knew, more than anything, the best thing for Cloud was to give him his space. 

\----------------------

Reno leaned up against a wall in the semi-lit hallway of the intel unit, a cherry flavored lolly pop between his teeth. Every once in a while, a light overhead would flicker, as if it were a being taking its last few labored breaths. A few people walked by, mostly SOLDIERs, and a few infantrymen rushing to get to their lessons. The redhead smirked when he saw a third class shuffle past, covered in mud and all manner of guts and gore. The young combatant was grumbling under his breath about his situation “not being in the job description,” and how it would “take ten showers” before he was clean again. 

Reno couldn’t help but feel bad for the custodians who had to clean this building, but, at the same time, he wouldn’t admit these days were something he missed. Shinra had always been a demanding little fucker, but at least Reno always knew what to expect with his work. He didn’t have to make difficult moral decisions, because it was his JOB to be impartial -- it was his job to just do his job. Back at edge, working for a newly reformed Shinra and Strife Delivery Service, he had been forced to adapt. 

When presented with the option of whether or not to blow up a building full of people to keep monsters from escaping, back in the old days he would have been ordered to blow it up anyways. It had been up to him to do the brutal tasks no one else wanted to do for the sake of the masses. In a newly reformed world, however, the decision was now his own, and he would be forced to live with the consequences his decision wrought. 

He’d quickly learned that the freedom of choice came with a heavy burden. When one received the power to choose, they also received the curse of guilt that came from choosing wrong. The “what if”’s, and “how could I have done things different”’s weighed over you like a constant shadow. Rather than merely acting on orders that were not within his control to make, he was given a power he wasn’t sure he wanted to receive. 

Reno grabbed the stick of the sweet, artificially flavored treat in his mouth, twirling it around on his tongue. His eyes glanced up at the camera at the end of the hall, though he kept his head facing forwards so as not to draw attention to himself. He remained still, and quiet, like he was as much a part of the narrow hallway as the walls that made it up. Just as the last person rounded the corner, and left him the sole being in the small space, Reno got to work on his objective for being here. 

He looked down at his shoelace, which he had purposefully left untied for this very reason. He made quite the dramatic show of discovering the messy state of the laces for the camera, and knelt down to fix it. Just as he tightened the last knot, he pushed his sock down a fraction, and pressed the button on his ankle-band device’s screen that he’d already had on standby. 

The camera at the end of the hall made an electronic noise, its lights turning off, while the device began tilting downwards with its shut down. It would only be off long enough for someone to notice the disruption in the frequency, and fix it. Based on his experience, that gave the redheaded turk about ten minutes. He glanced down the hall one last time, just to make sure no one was coming, before he disappeared through the door to his right. 

Inside, the room was darkened, with the only lights coming from the many monitors and backlit keyboards adorning one wall. Reno sat down in front of the largest monitor on the desk, where a bunch of coffee cups and empty candy bar wrappers riddled the work space. If his partner were here, the man would definitely be grumbling about how untidy they were. Cracking his fingers, Reno let out a sigh before he began typing away. Rude had always been better at the electronic stuff, having the amount of patience and graceful tact that was usually necessary for such tasks. The redhead knew his way around tech though, more often than not, it just involved a lot of cursing on his part. 

Slim fingers smashed the keys as Reno set to work, his tongue working the lollipop in his mouth with his already growing frustration. Bypassing password entries was an absolute chore, and tedious on its best day. When the screen finally glowed with the typical Shinra welcome sign, he smiled around the cherry treat. 

“Alright,” Reno stretched his back with a cocky glint of triumph, bending from side to side in his seat. “Shinra data entry… classified persons file… records…” Reno mumbled along with his search as he did his best to navigate the programs. It had been so many years since he’d hacked a Shinra computer, that he was honestly surprised he could still do it. The redhead had to admit, he’d pretty much taken a shot in the dark with this plan, but following a just-go-for-it tactic was usually his way of doing things. 

“Where are you--” he trailed, scrolling through a vast list of profiles. Some of the pictures had red “deceased” tags over them, signifying the people the files spoke of were either killed, or missing in action long enough to be declared dead. After what felt like years, Reno finally scrolled past a familiar blonde head, causing him to back track quickly. 

“Gotcha,” he muttered in a sing-song voice, clicking on Strife’s file. “Man, they’ve really got you sounding like a nut case in here Cloud, I always knew you had a few screws loose.” Reno shifted in his seat, pulling out the micro-flash drive he’d hidden in a cut in the seam of his pants. 

As he plugged the flash drive in, the turk checked the timer he had going on his watch. He was already at seven minutes, with bypassing the passwords themselves having taken up a solid five; better speed this along. The screen flashed with an hourglass symbol, the words connecting underneath it as it turned in circles. A few seconds later, the screen loaded up with the information on the storage device. 

“Time to raise a little hell,” Reno spoke excitedly, his fingers now flying swiftly over the keyboard. He managed to finish working in two minutes, an electronic jingle coming from the speakers, followed by a female voice. 

“Data upload -- data alteration and encrypt complete.”

“Bingo.” Reno waas quick to close everything out, leaving no traces of him ever having been here in the first place. He was hitting the ten minute mark, just as he was about to exit the room, but he froze when he heard voices outside. They were garbled, but they were very obviously getting closer. Looking around, he tried to spot anywhere in the small room where he could hunker down and hide. 

The footsteps continued to get closer and closer, before the doorknob began to turn. 

“I know, it’s probably nothing, but it seems too strange for the cameras to shut down only a day after their maintenance report says they’re in perfect condition. With how much information is stored in here, I’d rather not risk a Wutai rat slipping under our noses.”

The two techs froze as soon as they entered the room, taking stock of what existed before them. 

“Who was the last person to work in here? I swear to fuck, there’s always a disaster all over this desk, and I get blamed for it,” the first tech grumbled, picking up a garbage can, before swiping all of the trash on the desk off with one arm. 

“I bet it's Ren, he’s always snacking during meetings. The guy always has one of these choco-’splosion bars in his mouth, and one in his pocket. If you asked him what he wanted for his last meal, he’d probably ask for a bucket of them,” the second tech stated, both humor and disgust lacing his words. 

“Next time, I’m going to use his face to clean off this table -- slob needs to learn some fucking manners.” The first tech finished cleaning the mess as he spoke, before waking up the computer monitor. The password screen greeted them like usual, and nothing else seemed out of the ordinary. 

“See, I told you, it was just a fluke. Even after passing their performance reviews, the shitty security systems here always wig out,” the second tech stated, already leaving his buddy behind in the room. 

“Hey wait!” The abandoned man shouted, turning the monitor off, before rushing out after his buddy. 

Reno finally let out the breath he’d been holding, causing dust to kick up in a plume around his face. He sneezed from the assault on his nose, causing his back to twinge with pain from his climb up to his hiding spot. The redhead laid on his stomach, peeking through the slits of the intel room’s air vent. 

There was no way he could get back out through the door now, so he’d have to traverse the maze of vents until he happened across a blind spot in the camera network. He scrunched himself up so he could turn around in the narrow space, and begin an army crawl to wherever his destination was. Already winded after two seconds, Reno tsked and bit down on his lollipop, leaving the stick behind -- abandoned. 

“I’m getting too old for this stuff,” he muttered, continuing his journey through the musty, dusty shaft. 

\-----------------

There was a whisper… And then there was silence. Cloud refused to open his eyes, for fear of what might await him beyond the veil. 

He recognized this voice that beckoned him from his previous dream, but also knew he recognized it from somewhere else, he just couldn’t remember where or when. 

“What do you want?” He asked it, his voice quickly swallowed by the nothingness. Emptiness. Darkness. 

A soft giggle followed, echoing about him in a way that made the adorable a little frightening. 

“You assume I want something from you, Cloud?” It asked from somewhere to his right, making him stiffen up instinctually. 

“Why else would you keep hounding me?” He asked the woman back, his voice dripping with an “isn’t it obvious?” tone. 

“You’re too cruel. Is it not enough for me to want to speak to a close friend?” She spoke again, this time from the left, with her tone bubbly, and cute, yet flowy, and melodic. 

“Friend? We’ve met?” He knew the voice sounded familiar, but knowing for sure he’d met the woman before was enough to satiate some of the confused frustration in him. 

“In a distant time, though not necessarily in this one. We used to be reall--y close, perhaps even best friends. We fought together, mourned together, until the day you mourned without me.” The woman spoke in riddles so often, that Cloud was torn between being blissful in his ignorance, and wanting to throttle straight answers out of her. 

“Okay, so we used to be comrades. It still doesn’t explain why you know so much about this situation, that I still can’t even believe is real…” Cloud paused for a second, mulling over his words and emotions. “I keep waiting to wake up, but every time I do, I’m still here.” 

“Speak and be heard, don’t cower in silence. Be afraid of being alone, not of those who want to help you escape your solitude. Give your gift,” She said, her words no longer appearing like casual conversation as they had before. 

Alright then, back to decoding riddles. 

“My gift?” I asked, having no idea what kind of gift I had to give, and to whom. 

“The gift traveled with you, transcending time itself. Gold and obsidian -- feathers in a halo, it is your gift to give,” She answered.

Cloud still couldn’t understand, until something clicked in his head, something that had been on him when he’d arrived here, but didn’t belong to him. 

“The bengal?” He asked with a sort of “ah-ha” tone, happy to have enough brain cells to decode that much. 

“Is it pretty? I made it myself,” she giggled, and Cloud felt her presence getting closer and closer with each word. 

“So it belongs to you? Why is it my gift? Who am I giving it to? What happens when I do give it away?” Cloud asked the questions as they came to mind, stopping only when he realized there were too many to voice all at once. 

“It belongs to no one… a--nd everyone -- it is memory made tangible,” the girl, sort of, responded to his questions. Well, half of them anyways. 

“So the bengal isn’t anyone’s, but it’s everyone’s, and I’m supposed to be giving my gift, that doesn’t belong to me, to someone, and this gift is memory? Does anything you say make any sense? How do you give someone memory?” Memory wasn’t something you could just hand to another person, it was something that you create yourself. 

“Something that you create yourself indeed, and is a gift not something you create yourself? You share memories with people all of the time: when you fight side by side in battle, when you spend a day at the beach, when you fall in love. Are these not memories you share, and is the very nature of their existence not a gift?” She tried to explain, her voice now right next to the blonde, as if she sat there with him. 

“It still doesn’t explain how giving away a bracelet can give away memory. What kind of memories exist within it?” If Cloud was willing to accept that the little bengal actually HELD memories, then he wanted to know what they were. 

“Memories of greed and guilt, betrayal and pain, love and loss, victory and defeat, death and rebirth. They are the memories of a lonely man, and the life that wronged him. In a way, the gift is an explanation -- a justification.” As the girl spoke, Cloud felt a head fall on his shoulder, and felt the tenseness leave his body. It was replaced with a feeling of familiarity, comfort, and warmth. 

Slowly, he reached his hand up to touch the head, the appendage’s journey feeling long, braided hair, smooth skin, and finally, a piece of cloth shrouded in warmth. The shape of the cloth was familiar; a bow, his mind supplied. The material of it was thin, and ribbon-like, smooth to the touch under his fingertips. 

“Ae--” 

Cloud’s eyes popped open, but at least this time he didn’t wake up feeling like he was out of his mind. The dream felt a bit hazy, but he still remembered the gist of it, just like he had with the previous one. A voice telling him things -- giving him information that he wasn’t sure whether or not he actually wanted, or if it were true.

Grunting, Cloud sat up in the bed, and reached for the leather-bound journal at his bedside. On the inside of the cushioned cover, a small slit revealed the most recent hiding place for the bengal. Just like the girl in his dream had described, it was a bracelet of gold and obsidian, compiled by a ring of metal feathers. 

Memory...

He heard the sounds of clinking coming from the kitchen, and could smell the scent of porridge in the air. Angeal must be cooking, the question is, what meal? 

Cloud swung his legs over the side of the bed and glanced at the bedside table, where the holographic display of the current time of day would give him his answer. 6 PM (18:00) stared at him in glowing numbers, letting him know it was dinner that Angeal was preparing, and that he’d somehow managed to be lethargic enough to practically sleep his day away. 

After his incident in the bathroom with Angeal, Cloud considered just staying in his room until he went with his next person tomorrow. He still had no idea which first would be coming to scoop him up and carry him off to his next hell fest, but he didn’t know much of anything these days. 

Cloud was reminded again of why he was considering hiding out in his room by a sharp pain on his tongue, and groaned into the pillow beneath his head. If he blamed anyone for this mess right now, it was definitely Sephiroth. He’s the one who got in a fight with Genesis, which, by the way, Cloud still had no idea what said fight was even over. Then he barged into the room, and gave the blonde his creepy, all-knowing staredown. A staredown, that had ultimately caused him to give himself a homemade tongue piercing. Which, of course, resulted in Angeal becoming a worried parent. The domino effect that existed between these four was horrendous, and Cloud wanted to stay as far away from it as possible. 

A knock on the door had Cloud jolting, and throwing the journal, along with the bengal, under his pillow like they had burned him. The short rapping was soon followed by Angeal walking into the room. 

Sure, come on in. 

“I thought you might still be sleeping. You should come and eat,” Angeal said, his lips slightly upturned in a barely-there, kind smile. 

Cloud knew if he turned the request down, he’d only be bullied into an even more awkward dinner than what would have been had he just agreed. Instead of arguing about another thing today, Cloud just got up from the bed to follow Angeal down the hall. The tension in the air was so thick, that Cloud really couldn’t stand it. He sat at the table next to the living room, his eyes wandering over the television screen where a girl was getting chased by a murderer. 

‘So we’ve moved on from corny action movies to corny horror movies, it seems,’ Cloud thought to himself. His nervous ticks began in the form of tapping his index finger on the table, before he began humming to himself absentmindedly. Honestly, he felt like a kid again, waiting for his mother to come to the table and ask about his horrible grades. 

“That song you're humming,” Angeal entered the space with a couple of bowls, setting one down in front of himself, and one before Cloud. “Where did you hear it?” He asked, sitting in the seat opposite of Cloud, his head now blocking the television, and the blonde’s only distraction. 

He didn’t even know what song he’d been humming, the tune pouring out of him with little to no thought. 

“I don’t know,” Cloud replied honestly, swirling his spoon in his bowl. 

“It’s called Hollow, and it’s one of Zack’s favorite songs, I thought maybe you’d heard it from him,” Angeal explained, taking a mouthful of his own porridge. 

The meal, though minimalistic, was fatty and hearty, with little bits of meat and vegetables seasoned nicely inside. It smelled good, and Cloud knew he was hungry, but his stomach was also cramping with his emotions, and unsettled mind. 

“Hollow? Doesn’t seem fitting of someone like Zack,” Cloud joked, even though there was no humor lacing his words. He didn’t really do the whole “humor and joke” thing with people. 

“Because he’s always so happy?” Angeal asked, nodding his head in understanding. “Yah, he’s a happy go lucky little puppy, but even he has his battle scars, and hidden wounds.” 

“Hn,” Cloud hummed, finally managing to scoop up a spoonful of the porridge, and press it against his tongue. It was warm, and satisfying, and warmed him up from the inside out, but it also made him feel heavy, and his stomach cramp further. He foresaw this would be a night where he could manage to eat some, but not all of the food presented to him. 

“Do you think that all of us don’t carry wounds of our own, Cloud? They are, I don’t doubt, different from your own in several ways, but they still hurt the same,” Angeal instructed, trying to give Cloud a sense of comfort in knowing he wasn’t alone in his torment. “Zack would probably kill me if he knew I told you this, so if he finds out, I’ll make sure sure to come after you first,” Angeal pointed his spoon at Cloud in warning, narrowing his eyes playfully with the threat. 

“When he first joined SOLDIER, Zack was just this meek little kid who had no idea what to do. He battled with insecurity as much as he did with his peers, and it was hard for him to make connections with anyone. The day I found him, he’d been bloodied and bruised after getting into a fight. I happened upon him in the men’s locker room while looking for Genesis -- even back then, Gen was a fucking terror with his antics, and though I’ll spare you the details, I was ready to draw blood. He was just this lonely, and confused kid, sitting underneath the cold spray of the shower. Zack’s lost so much, from his first love, to his own sense of self-image. He plays the animated, fun, loveable character a lot, but sometimes, he breaks down too, and Gen, Seph, as well as myself; we are always there to pick up the pieces he can’t seem to grapple.” 

Cloud’s chewing on the piece of meat in his mouth slowed as he processed the information that had been handed to him. Unlike Zack, Cloud had never bothered to put up facades, or rather, he never bothered to show anyone anything of himself. He was content being an emotionless being. It was the same label they’d always given Sephiroth; two sides of the same coin, he supposed. At the end of the day though, the blonde knew his one flaw lied in the fact that he allowed himself to feel more than he should. Sephiroth and Zack were polar opposites, and for the longest time, most of Cloud’s mental unrest came from the two, completely different personalities battling for dominance inside of him. As he grew older, and began retaining more of his own memories -- more of Cloud -- he found he didn’t really like what he saw. Instead of allowing Cloud to resurface, he just shoved away all three personalities, and locked them up tightly in the catacombs of his mind. 

“You’re thinking about something,” Angeal observed, tilting his head down a little to try and catch Cloud’s eyes, which stared blankly at his bowl. 

The blonde shook his head, waking up out of his temporary stupor so he could fill his mouth. The more he ate, the more his stomach cramped, but the more it also begged for continued sustenance. Just like his personality, his body could never decide what it wanted, and what to be. 

“You know, the more time I take to get to know you, the more I learn to read you, and the more I am able to detect when you’re lying to me. I’m a fast learner, Cloud, eventually you won’t be able to hide anything from me,” Angeal promised, smirking down at the younger male. 

Cloud felt a shiver trace up his spine at the choice of wording. If he couldn’t hide anything, would that mean he wouldn’t have to keep up his own facade? Could he finally let go, and not have to live as this unbearable, unfeeling creature? 

Again, however, that wasn’t exactly the truth. Cloud felt rarely, but when he did, he felt it too deeply. He was a slave to his own emotions, and could easily be overcome and broken down by them. It was much easier to bar up the feelings before they could cause him pain. But… What if he could have something like what Angeal and Zack had? When one falls, the other picks his comrade up -- picks up the pieces, as Angeal had put it. Could something like that exist for someone like Cloud? For someone so twisted, and shattered? 

Perhaps…Perhaps not. 

“Then take the time to get to know me,” Cloud found himself answering, against his better judgement. His attachments were growing too strong, and he needed to find a way to block them out, before he lost sight of his objectives. 

Angeal paused in his reach to grab the cup of water sitting in front of him, his eyes calculating as he regarded the blonde. 

“Well, it’s a two way street,” Angeal nodded his head, before picking up the glass and taking a drink. “You’ve got to meet me in the middle, but if you give a little, then I will as well.”

“You say that as if I haven't already given you, and the others so much,” Cloud countered, because even if it wasn’t intended, he had, in fact, relented to these four so much more of himself than he’d ever thought possible. Especially Zack and Genesis…

“Have you?” Angeal quizzed back, disbelieving. 

“Much more than you think, and much more than I care to admit.” Cloud kept his eyes trained down on the glass in his hands, the condensation feeling cool and welcoming on his fingertips. He rubbed his thumb over a scratch, wondering how much pressure he’d have to add before it shattered in his grasp. The scratch was a weakness in a perfectly forged structure, and weaknesses were too easily exploited. 

“Then why are you so surprised that we’ve begun to understand you more, when you’ve been willingly giving us the opportunity?” Angeal asked, realizing that, just maybe, everything they’ve been able to deduce about Cloud so far has been freely relented. 

“Because I’m surprised at myself, and what I’ve been willing to give. If you knew me from the place I come from, you’d be lucky to know my name, let alone when I’m lying to you. Lies spill from me easier than my blood flows from a wound, and yet, I’ve never tried to seriously lie to any of you. In fact, I’ve bent over backwards to prevent myself from having to tell a lie, and in the process, I’ve allowed you to see more than I wanted.” Cloud chanced a glance up at Angeal through his sleep-tousled fringe, “do you think, if I seriously wanted to keep something from you, that you’d be able to tell? You’re smarter than that, Angeal.” 

What was the one thing Cloud did when he didn’t want people to look inside? Wipe everything away. And since he first arrived here, he’s found it increasingly difficult to find that little switch inside him that would turn it all off. Turn off the side of him that was Zack, and the side that was Sephiroth; and the side that was Cloud, well, he’d been coming out more and more often as of late -- the side that Cloud himself was still scared to face. 

You’re greedy, Angeal. 

“The parts that you’ve won, that I didn’t want to share, are the parts that I fought to keep hidden. So, I suppose, you can take victory in knowing you’ve achieved something on your own,” Cloud gave a bitter smirk, taking a long sip from the weak glass in his hands. 

“Then I’m not sure I understand, if you don’t trust any of us, then why have you allowed us to take so much?” Angeal asked, his heart pounding in his chest. He was feeling a mixture of emotions right now, and it was causing a fog of confusion to fall over him. 

If Cloud had really been allowing them these small victories, save for a few larger ones, then why? It was like the blonde was fighting against himself. 

This time, rather than giving an answer, the blonde remained silent, and that allowed Angeal to learn something new. If Cloud tried his best to keep himself from lying to them, then when he refused to answer a question, it was because, if he did, then he’d be telling a lie. Which meant that the reason why Cloud had been allowing them these victories was the biggest kept secret in this whole ordeal. 

“Do you trust us, Cloud?” Angeal asked gently. 

And the glass finally shattered. 

\------------------

“Why did you do that to Cloud?” Genesis quizzed angrily, standing up to face his silver-haired lover in a fit of confusion and pure rage. He was still angry and fired up from their argument, but after what had just transpired, now he was even moreso. 

“I was observing him, and how he would react. I wasn’t going to allow him to cause himself serious damage,” Sephiroth replied in a monotonous tone of voice. 

“Serious dam-- Sephiroth! Is blood pouring from his mouth not damage enough? And you wonder why he doesn’t trust you? Why he’s afraid of you?” Genesis fired back, throwing his hands up in the air in exasperation. 

“He was fearful of me from the moment he first saw me, because he knows something we don’t. He knows something about me, or has been given information of me that has led him to believe I am a threat to him. I cannot control that. All I can do is try and persuade him to think of me from a different light,” Sephiroth countered, knowing full well there was never a movement when the blonde wasn’t fearful of him. 

“And you think dicking around like this is going to make him change his views? He’s not an animal in a zoo; you can’t always find your answers by observing his reactions. Sometimes, you have to actually, I don’t know, talk to him like a normal human being? Get to know him as a person, and not as a level in a video game you are trying to conquer.” Genesis had no idea why he was giving the silver-haired man advice on how to get closer to Cloud, when he was clearly still so angry. Perhaps it was because, while he, Ang, and Zack had been making significant progress, the general seemed to be still stuck at square one. 

“I’m not a normal human being, Genesis, nor have I ever been. The way I go about things is not the same, and I dare say it won’t ever be. I will make progress with Cloud in my own time. No progress can truly take route until I know how to dash his apprehension of me,” Sephiroth refuted, staring blankly as the redhead glared up at him. 

“And you can’t ‘dash his apprehension’ of you, without showing him that he shouldn’t be afraid of you. Practically threatening him is not the way of doing that, not for us, nor you, or anybody else for that matter.” Genesis knew it could be difficult for Cloud and Sephiroth to get on the same page with each other. Their similarities were actually their downfall, for both the blonde and the silver-haired general were extremely reserved people. The other three SOLDIERs were at least somewhat outgoing in certain aspects, but Sephiroth could sit in a room with someone for hours, and be content not exchanging a single word. In fact, depending on the person, he’d rather keep his mouth shut for a millennium than have to interact with them. Cloud was the exact same way, more often than not, so it was like trying to get two of the same poles to connect. 

A relationship between two people could not be forced, but dare he say the only way to get things started with Sephiroth and Cloud was to force them to interact with one another. 

“Isn’t Cloud supposed to be with you for the next two days?” Genesis asked after a long moment of silence, where he tried to wrap his brain around how to get Sephiroth and Cloud to see just how similar they really were. 

Sephiroth regarded the redhead with a curious, calculating look for a moment, before he gave a curt nod. 

“Alright, look, the way you're going to get Cloud to pay attention to you, honestly, is to just keep talking to him. Angeal did it when he first arrived here, and Zack, and I didn’t make true progress until I put my weapon down and started acting like I gave a fuck. If you talk enough, eventually, he’ll talk back. Say things you think will pique his curiosities, or share things about yourself. He gives a lot more when you have a lot more to give,” Genesis explained, flopping down on his bed with a grunt. “Once you at least have that attention, then you can go about gaining his trust in your own way. I’m not giving you anymore hints than that.”

“You think I need advice? One night with him, and you seem to think all of the problems are with me,” Sephiroth accused, adjusting his stance to one that was a little more defensive. 

“We didn’t do anything,” Genesis muttered, rolling over so his back was facing the General. 

“Nothing at all?” Sephiroth asked, disbelieving. 

“We didn’t do anything sexual, if that is what has you concerned, Seph,” the redhead teased, though he still could feel the remnants of Cloud’s lips upon his own. 

“You kissed him,” Sephiroth concluded, ever the observant one. 

“Perhaps I did, and perhaps he enjoyed it just as much as I took pleasure from it. He’s quite the tease, and for all of his submissive tendencies, he doesn’t allow himself to be seen as weak. I guess he’s what you’d call a ‘power bottom,’” Genesis joked, using the term often spoken by the cadets down in the barracks. “You know, I don’t doubt that if he and the four of us met on the field as enemies, he could take two or more of us out before we managed to claim victory. He might even stand a chance against you, ‘my esteemed General,’” the redhead teased. 

“Then we must make sure he is not our enemy in the future,” Sephiroth stated, not an ounce of discontentment in his voice. It was good to have a partner who was of significant strength. All of them knew, once they made first class, that they’d never be able to hold someone who could not defend themselves. Too many SOLDIERs had lost the people they cared for the most, because they were unprepared for the danger that came with loving someone whose life came with danger like the cold did with ice. That was exactly what had happened to Zack.

“I-- I want to know where he comes from. I want to know his past, and his secrets. I want to know that he is safe, and get rid of the pain he carries with him. More than anything, I think I understand the pain he feels too well.” Genesis’s tone grew softer, and he didn’t even consider Sephiroth’s words, because he knew Cloud would never be their enemy. He didn’t understand the blonde’s motives, but he knew that much, because he felt it to be the truth from his very core. 

“Guilt,” Sephiroth supplied, knowing full well how much guilt burdened Genesis on a daily basis. Their redheaded lover, for all of his crudeness and spite, had a heart that bled for the smallest of things. 

Genesis hummed his acknowledgement of the word, but didn’t wish to linger on it any longer as flashes of Fort Condor entered his memory. 

“There was a reason why I came here, Gen, and it wasn’t to upset you, or Cloud,” Sephiroth began. He saw the way Genesis’s shoulders tensed at remembering their argument the night before. 

“I had a hunch,” the redhead stated bitterly, still not facing the general. 

“It isn’t your fault -- what happened in fort Condor. “None of us could have known what would transpire, and I regret not paying closer attention to our teams. However, I think that Cloud might be ab--” Sephiroth was cut off by the sudden, beeping alarms going off on his and Genesis’s PHS’s.

Both SOLDIERs were quick to pull out their devices, and read the alert they had received. Genesis met Sephiroth’s eyes with a wide, and concerned look. 

‘This is an alert to make the following four Shinra employees aware, today, at approximately 4:35 PM (16:35), the individual under their guardianship, Cloud Strife’s, file was breached…’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ghost Town: Layato and Neoni
> 
> Next chapter summary: Cloud struggles with what Reno has left behind for him, and the pressure put on him by the other four. Hojo is still trying to figure out what went wrong with his last experiment on Cloud's cells, and we learn of an interesting partnership between ark, and another figure at Shinra. A look inside Fort Condor reveals the inner thoughts of three lazy Infantry cadets, and their guesses on what happened behind the set barriers. Cloud and Sephiroth finally get time alone in Sephiroth's apartment, where Sephiroth tries out his new nickname for the blonde, and Cloud divulges more information to the general than he wonders if he should.


	22. Shame On You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud struggles with what Reno has left behind for him, and the pressure put on him by the other four. Hojo is still trying to figure out what went wrong with his last experiment on Cloud's cells, and we learn of an interesting partnership between ark, and another figure at Shinra. A look inside Fort Condor reveals the inner thoughts of three lazy Infantry cadets, and their guesses on what happened behind the set barriers. Cloud and Sephiroth finally get time alone in Sephiroth's apartment, where Sephiroth tries out his new nickname for the blonde, and Cloud divulges more information to the general than he wonders if he should.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter! Updates will now be every Thursday, as I've gotten this book on a good schedule haha. Happy thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate it, and if you want to read the next chapter early, check out the post pinned on my Twitter! :3
> 
> Let me know what you guys think, and I'm not sure there are any warnings for this chapter aside from Hojo (ew) and lots of feels. Then again, pretty much all of my chapters come with lots of warnings. (Next chapter broke my heart to write the ending, I actually started crying T^T) Things are finally starting to come together, so the puzzle pieces should start making more sense now! 
> 
> You guys are the best, and as this story nears about 2/3 (about 100,000 words left) of the way complete, I just wanted to make sure you all know how much fun I've had writing, and how much I appreciate all of you! 
> 
> I'll stop talking now, enjoy the chapter ^^
> 
> -A <3

"You're like shackles on my heart

Chains around my feet

I bought your dirty lies

They got the best of me

Let everything you stole

Haunt you in your dreams

Shame on you"

\---------------------

Cloud stared at the message in front of him in the early hours of the morning, his heart thrumming, even as he remained as impassive as ever on the outside. Apparently, last night, the four SOLDIERs had received word of someone hacking his profile. Now that he sat in front of the results of said hacking, he was presented with a variety of difficult decisions. Now this was one secret he could not allow to be revealed, it was hitting too close to home, and way too dangerous. It gave him new information though, that he wasn’t sure if he was pleased with, or apprehensive about. 

“Think, Cloud, do you have any idea what this could be?” Angeal asked seriously from where he leaned over the blonde. 

Cloud didn’t correct the raven for standing so close, his chest pressing against the younger man’s shoulder. 

“Is it some kind of code?” Zack asked, unable to hide his curiosity from where he stood leaning against the arm of Angeal’s living room couch. 

“It looks encrypted,” Sephiroth stated, smooth, and unrevealing of his own inner feelings on this. 

“No shit,” Genesis grumbled, his arms crossed over his chest while he glared at the screen.

Cloud browsed over the message again, just to make sure he’d read it right. 

‘Sup blondie, floating topside again seems to have done both of us dirty -- I have something for you. Remember when I contacted you to help deal with the K.L.Y after the fall? K is the key. You’re welcome - R :P’

Even when sending an encrypted message, Reno still acted like a fucking idiot, and Cloud had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. He couldn’t reveal that he knew anything about this, because he had no idea what kind of information Reno had sent to him.

“Zack was dumb enough to try typing in K,” Genesis grumbled, changing the direction of his glare from the computer screen to the younger SOLDIER. 

“It says K is the key! It doesn’t hurt to try!” Zack defended, gesturing to the message on the screen. 

“Unless it could have, Zack. It could have been programmed to delete itself if an incorrect input was made,” Angeal chastised, typing in some information on the computer to try and see if they couldn’t bypass the block. 

“It’s sealed up tight with a UTM firewall, there is no way your going to get in without the cypher key, Angeal,” Sephiroth warned, watching the flashing red ‘error’ messages ping across the screen. “Do you know who sent this, Cloud, and what K means?” The silver-haired man asked, watching the blonde’s reactions closely. 

Cloud pinched his brows together to pretend he was concentrating, and pressed his lips to mimic frustration. 

Yah, there was no way in hell he could be mistaken about who sent him this. Reno was too obvious in his personality, and way of working things. Of course he’d send a cypher, because he always liked playing games. Honestly, Cloud was just surprised the ditzy headed turk could code something this complex, and not get caught in the process. Then again, he was a turk for a reason. 

“Try typing in Kira,” Cloud pulled the name out of his ass; he didn’t even know a Kira. Especially if Angeal was getting better at reading him when he lied, Cloud really didn’t want to flat out say he had no idea what the message was talking about. A small pang of guilt filled his chest, and he knew, no matter how much he might want to, he couldn’t reveal this message before them. 

Angeal leaned over again, typing the name into the ‘key’ text bar. 

As expected, a red screen flashed with the word ‘incorrect,’ along with the word ‘dumbass.’ Cloud had to stop the smirk that tried to pull itself onto his face. Yah, this was definitely Reno’s work. 

“Whoever sent you this, he’s rather eccentric. You sure you don’t know anyone who might’ve left the message?” Angeal quizzed, focussing his gaze on Cloud’s face. 

With everyone in the room trying to watch for the slightest of revealing actions from him, Cloud was beginning to feel a bit of pressure. This was why he should have never allowed them to get as close as they had in the first place. He felt like he’d been trapped between a rock in a hard place, with very few options presented to him. 

“Cloud, it’s okay,” Zack stepped forward, being the first to notice some of the distress leaking into the blonde’s features. 

Cloud automatically stiffened, cursing himself for the slip up. He was beginning to lose his composure, and his control. 

“Whatever is in this file, we won’t judge you for it, but we need to know,” his friend consoled, placing a hand on Cloud’s shoulder to try and appear comforting. 

Genesis twitched on the other side of the room, able to recognize the telltale signs of Cloud being secretive. Angeal picked up on it just as quickly, his close proximity allowing him to see the slight ticks in Cloud’s face. The blonde licked his lips, his teeth catching on the bottom one the tiniest bit. The pace of his breathing changed, and his ring finger began tapping silently against his palm. All of these things might’ve been mistaken for Cloud trying to think of an answer months ago, but now, the raven knew exactly what they were indicative of. Cloud wasn’t being honest with them, or rather, he was doing exactly what he told Angeal he often did with them last night. 

“You know who sent you this, and you know exactly what the cypher key is,” the redhead stated, not even bothering to ask, because he already knew. 

“I do,” Cloud stated coldly, his face now sternly set. There was no way around this, they’d have found out soon enough anyways. He couldn’t lie to them, not anymore. He could only hope his other secrets would remain in the dark indefinitely. 

Angeal hooked a hand under the blonde’s chin, pulling Cloud’s head back until he stared up at the raven looming behind him. Cloud clenched his jaw, shaking his head out of the grasp so he could glare back at the screen, unwavering. 

“Cloud.” Angeal spoke the younger man’s name sternly, caging him in completely with his arms by pressing his palms against the desk in front of him. “What are you hiding?” He asked, an air of desperation in his words. “I know for a fact, after all of this time, that if you were a danger to us you would’ve already had a blade to our throats. So what is so worth hiding? What has you so afraid? What do you know?”

“You accuse me of being secretive, when I know for a fact there is a mountain of things you all are hiding from me. Why should I reveal things I don’t want to be seen, when I’m constantly kept in the dark?” Cloud quizzed back, striking them where he knew it would hurt. 

“Last night, I asked you if you trust us, and you ended up smashing a glass in your palm,” Angeal stated gently, running his fingers over the blonde’s bandaged hand. He could hear Cloud’s breath hitch in his throat, but other than that, he received no other reaction. “You trust us a lot more than you want to, and that is why, rather than lying and saying you have no idea what this message is about, you’re being honest.” 

“I trust most of you more than I want to, that doesn’t mean I trust you completely, and that doesn’t mean I reserve trust for all of you,” Cloud shot back coldly, very aware of Sephiroth’s presence to his right. 

Genesis glanced at Sephiroth, noticing the way the general’s eyebrows pressed together the smallest fraction. They all knew exactly who it was Cloud was the least comfortable with -- the one who the blonde trusted the least. 

“I’m not one of you,” Cloud stated after he let his previous words sink in. 

“Cloudy,” Zack crouched down in front of where Cloud sat, glancing back and forth between the blonde’s face, and the computer screen he stared at. “That’s not completely true, is it?” The black-haired man asked, running one of his knuckles over the peak of Cloud’s cheek carefully. The younger man was barely able to hide the flinch in his posture, narrowing his eyes more at the screen, while refusing to look at Zack’s face. 

“Stop touching me,” Cloud commanded sternly, beginning to feel his aggravation rise with his anxiety. 

Zack did exactly as the blonde asked, hesitantly pulling his hand back to his body. Cloud was growing colder by the second, and if they didn’t find a way to deescalate the situation, they’d never be able to get into the file. 

“If you don’t trust in Sephiroth,” Zack stated what they all knew to be true, even though he knew the words stated out loud might hurt their silver-haired lover. He could deal with that later, now was not the time to be beat around the bush. “Then trust in me, I promise, no matter what is in this file, nothing bad will happen.” 

“Oh?” Cloud packed venom behind the chuckled word, “and what if it does tell you everything you want to know? You think you could handle it? I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, it’s easy to make a promise, but sticking with it until the end is harder.” Cloud did turn his glare on Zack then, trying to make a very important point. “For example, what if it is a plan to destroy Shinra? Could you still say nothing bad would happen?” He asked the question very seriously, because in his timeline, he had, in fact, been partly responsible for Shinra’s fall, and he regretted none of it. 

“Well is that what it is?” Zack asked back, a lightness to his tone that honestly had Cloud doing a double take. 

The blonde sighed and shook his head, growing tired of all of this. 

“Who knows -- this R person, trust me, he’s probably the most annoying, unpredictable, and idiotic bastard in existence. For all I know, the message could say my fly is undone,” Cloud answered honestly, because Reno would do something like that. “Still, he is a comrade that I’ve laid my life on the line for before, and I won’t ever sell him out. That much you can give up on,” Cloud stated firmly, never willing to give Reno up. 

“Reactors have been shutting down, people have been getting sick,” Sephiroth finally revealed the information they’d purposefully been keeping from Cloud. The room instantly went serious, and Cloud’s reaction to it was instant, and huge. 

The desk cracked under the force of the grip the blonde extended to it, his eyes went impossible wide, and his breathing stopped completely. All four of the firsts watched his reaction with poorly concealed shock, but Cloud couldn’t find it in him to care. 

“Cloud?” Zack quizzed with concern, trying his best not to touch the blonde when he had no idea how he would react in that moment. 

Cloud on the other hand didn’t even hear his name being called -- his ears were ringing with the sudden spike in his blood pressure, and he leaked fear so strongly that he was sure Angeal could probably smell it on him. 

The dream he had, and his worries that this world would also show signs of Jenova’s infection were all coming to fruition. 

“Calm down,” Angeal ordered, placing a gentle hand at the blonde’s neck, and applying the slightest bit of pressure to that pressure point in his jaw. 

The smallest twinge of pain was welcomed to Cloud, but he was still trying to work through the panic in his mind. 

“Stay away from the infected reactors,” Cloud finally managed to get out in a scratchy voice. “Geostigma will leak up through the contamination in the lifestream, and kill anyone it comes into contact with. Death can be instant, but it can also take years of agony before it claims your life.” 

“Geostigma? Do you know how to stop the infection?” Sephiroth asked, hoping a cure existed for the invasive illness. 

“There is only one cure that I know of -- the water of an abandoned church in sector five. The water mixes with a clean part of the lifestream there, and gets rid of the infected parts in your own” Cloud responded, his heart still pounding sporadically in his chest. 

“People infected would never be able to survive the trip, it’d take too long,” Angeal spoke to Sephiroth. If it really did only take three hours for the infected host to die, then a trip that takes around four to five hours would be useless. 

“How long did it take the infected to die?” Cloud asked. In his own timeline, most people lived for at least a few days before they were killed. 

“Three hours,” Sephiroth answered for him. 

“Three…” Cloud leaned forwards in his seat, feeling a little sick to his stomach. Whatever version of Geostigma this was, it became clear it was far more aggressive than what he remembered. The water from the church would never survive the trip, because its connection to the lifestream was what made it strong enough to combat the illness. If the infected couldn’t make it back in time either, then there was no way to fix the problem. “Then there is nothing I can do to help you, I’m sorry,” Cloud stated after a long minute. 

“You can start by opening this message, and allowing us to deal with the matter with the information you’ve given us,” Angeal informed, grabbing Cloud by his wrists, and placing his hands on the computer's keyboard. 

Cloud’s hands were shaking, and he could feel the pressure increasing inside. He wanted to unlock it, to read what Reno had sent him, but what if it revealed too much? The four SOLDIERs at least had shared a huge chunk of what they’d been hiding, but Cloud still wasn’t ready to divulge all of his secrets in return. How he’d let Zack die, and all of the lives he’d taken after that, how Sephiroth had caused so much pain, and been ended by Cloud’s own hands. Everything was happening all over again, but it was out of order, and not like how Cloud remembered it. 

In this timeline, Sephiroth hadn’t gone bat shit crazy, but why? People who had died were still living, and there weren't signs of degradation in any of them. He didn’t understand, and felt there was still so much information he lacked. The only cure for cellular degradation was Sephiroth’s cells, or his own. Unless the other three had ingested biological material from them, like hair, blood, tissue, etc, then they would have already begun degrading. Sephiroth never went on his mission to Nibelheim, and Jenova’s influence seemed to be nowhere near touching him. It made no sense! And all he could do was sit here at Shinra, without any idea what to do. 

He wanted to tell them everything, to seek comfort from Angeal’s soothing words, and Zack’s insistent skinship. To fall asleep with Genesis, and not worry about what nightmares he might’ve had. He wanted them to tell him everything was going to be alright, no matter what his past sins were. But he couldn’t, because the pain he’d be forced to face was too great. 

“I’ll unlock it on one condition,” Cloud finally managed to get the words out.

“Sure, anything Cloudy,” Zack nodded, his eyes alight with a mix of excitement and desperation. 

“I get to read it first, and decide whether or not I want to share information,” the blonde bargained. 

“But what--” Angeal was cut off quickly by Sephiroth. 

“Deal,” the silver haired man relented.

Cloud looked up at him for the first time, shock evident in his features. Of all the people he expected to agree to his term, he hadn’t expected it to be the general. 

“You’ve given us, I trust, honest and valuable information today, so I additionally will trust that if there is something important in that letter, which could cause people harm, you’d tell us. Anything else that deals with your secrets, and the things you still aren’t ready to share, I’ll allow you to keep,” the general explained, giving Cloud the softest look the blonde had ever seen on those harsh features. 

Cloud took a moment to study the soft, porcelain face of the older male, realizing for the first time exactly how soft those features were. Without the snarls and malice imprinted in the lines of his mouth and brow, Sephiroth could even be seen as having a sort of angelic beauty. He was still very obviously male, but captivatingly graceful in his appearances nonetheless. This Sephiroth definitely was not the one the blonde remembered, and for the first time, Cloud felt a tightening in his chest that made him want nothing more than to keep this Sephiroth from ever being wronged. After all, the beast that had been created in Sephiroth’s place in his timeline, was not actually Sephiroth. Cloud had never really been granted the chance to learn who the real general was underneath Jenova’s tainting. 

“Okay,” Cloud stated strongly, nodding his head in affirmation. He felt like this was something he could do for them, at the very least. “I never make promises, not anymore -- but this time... I promise, if there is anything in here that I believe is important for you to know, I’ll share it,” Cloud swore. His eyes held Sephiroth’s in an unyielding stare, allowing the silver-haired man to see the severity of what it meant to receive a promise from Cloud Strife. 

“Good,” the general nodded back, the corner of his lips querking up in an almost smile that shocked the blonde into looking away. The smirk had held no ill intent, nor malice, or teasing. It had been gentle, understanding, and most of all, trusting. 

“Alright,” Cloud breathed, grabbing the laptop from the desk, and retreating to go sit on one of the couches in the living room. He made sure no one followed him before he began typing in the password.

There was only one person he knew whose name had started with a K, and he knew as soon as he had seen “K.L.Y,” that it was referring to the three clones. 

Fingers poised over the keys, Cloud was quick to type in “Kadaj.” The second the correct password was entered, a few paragraphs of text popped up on the screen. 

“Glad to see this message finally made it to the right hands. First things first, you're an idiot, how could you just fall off a damn building man? That was definitely not an image for one of the ‘Cloud the hero’ fanclub posters.” 

Cloud rolled his eyes and had to prevent himself from saying out loud “well if you’re here, then you must’ve died too.” 

“Back then, Rude and I had been trying to head up to help you, but the building ended up collapsing. Rude managed to get out in enough time, but I wasn’t so lucky. Next thing I know, I woke up in the middle of the desert somewhere outside of Midgar. I have very little time to upload this file, so I can’t make it too long otherwise it’ll take longer to export from my USB, but I’m going to assume something similar happened to you. The turks are in a fit about you man, and you are, honestly, the talk of the fucking century down here, because you are a case they can’t seem to crack. So congrats, no matter where you go, you’re a walking fucking question mark -- you should have been a turk, I will forever stand by that belief.”

Reno had often told Cloud that after meteor, but even now the thought sent a sickening feeling through his gut. The last thing he’d ever want to have been, was a soldier of Shinra that had no choice but to do the dirty jobs handed to him. 

“I still haven’t been able to piece much of this together, but things are getting pretty hectic outside, and even inside Shinra. Geostigma is back, and that Jenova bitch is just spreading her disease like its candy. The labs have their eyes on you as well, so watch your back, and try to stick close to the people you think you can trust. Geostigma can’t be cured like last time, so they’re going to need to find something else -- it is way too aggressive. From what I’ve heard, SOLDIERs are the most susceptible, and it leaks up from places where there are high concentrations of mako, like the reactors. Aerith’s church should keep the vein that runs under Midgar safe, but others, I can’t tell you. It behaves sporadically, without any clear patterns yet.”

This much was what Cloud had already guessed based on what Sephiroth had just told him. The vein under Midgar would, most likely, be fine so long as Aerith’s church remained protected, and bound to her spirit in the lifestream. It was a sanctuary, and a place that filtered out the illness, otherwise Midgar probably would have been the first place to have been infected, based on the devastation Jenova could have caused, and the concentration of Mako. Reno’s words did beg the question though, why were SOLDIERs more susceptible this time around? 

He’d also already guessed the labs would be interested in him for the very nature of his existence, but he still couldn’t be sure of their plans. Hojo was a conniving little roach who was best known for his ability to keep things secret from the public, and even Shinra.

Cloud shook his head disdainfully and continued reading. 

“From what little information I could get out of the labs, and from the letters I’ve been able to intercept between Hojo and Hollander, they’re cooking up something big down there. Sephiroth is the only reason why your other three SOLDIER buddies haven’t gone through degradation, though I’m not really sure how. All it would have taken would be for them to have had his hair fall in their food or something though, and the degradation would have stopped upon ingestion. So I guess it's possible, if the four of them are closer in this timeline than in the past, that they might’ve accidentally had something like this occur.”

Closer… yah that’s for damn sure, but would a single piece of hair falling in food really be enough to stop total body degradation? There were still some holes in this theory. Cloud didn’t remember them ever being this close in his timeline, though they were definitely friends on some level. He’d just have to bide his time and see if he could figure out something more. 

“Other SOLDIERs are definitely feeling the bite of their own degradation though, and Hojo and Hollander are working on some type of a cure called ‘Project R’. Be careful, Cloud. We both know how unique your cells are, and Hojo has long since lost access to Sephiroth because of his value to Shinra. Should things go south, you might find yourself on the end of that crazy fucker’s scalpel. All humans on Gaia have a structure like the lifestream running through them, but Project R may be looking to recreate a more powerful one like seen in Jenova. I don’t know anything else about that, but I’ll be keeping an eye on things as much as I am able without arousing suspicions. Keep your head down, and if things take a turn for the worst, get yourself out. I’m sure, knowing you, you’ve already been planning your escape, but don’t let that attempt leave you exposed without protection. This isn’t our world, and we don’t know what could happen. If the safest place for you to be is up there playing rock, paper, scissors with your freaky buddies, then stay put. I’ll contact you again if I can. Later. - Reno”

‘Project R…’ Cloud thought of what the objective of such a project could be, but found himself coming up blank. He could be patient a little longer, and pause his escape plan until he’d gotten more information. If he left himself exposed for too long, it might give Hojo the opportunity he needed to have this project bare fruit. 

Zack, having noticed Cloud stopped reading, allowed his impatience to finally be known. 

“What does it say?” the SOLDIER asked, trying to make his voice sound a little more professional, and a little less whiny. 

Cloud looked up at the four who had, quite literally, been watching him read. There was obviously a lot he couldn’t say, but perhaps there was also a lot he could say. 

“The church in sector five, there is a reason why it can heal people of Geostigma, and also a reason why Midgar hasn’t been the target of the infection. Keep it safe, because if it falls, so does all of Midgar. SOLDIERs also seem to be more likely to get infected, so try to limit who goes near reactors right now to infantrymen,” Cloud began, observing their reaction to his words. 

“I’ve already done that,” Sephiroth stated, having pulled almost all SOLDIER personnel out of reactor sites. 

“Good,” Cloud nodded, before continuing. “I can’t tell you too much… but you need to keep an eye on the labs. R says there is a new project that could be dangerous, and they’ll be looking for a-- well, for a perfect specimen.” Cloud concluded, not divulging that he could be that specimen. That would raise too many more questions that he, once again, was not ready to answer. Cloud deleted the encrypted message after that, having already stored the information in his mind. This way, it couldn’t be prodded later by a cypher team. “Other than that, that’s all I can tell you,” the blonde concluded, closing the computer over, before walking over to place it back on the desk. 

He passed by the other four on his way to the guest room, but was stopped by a hand around his wrist. 

“Cloud, why don’t you stick around for a little bit today, rather than running off?” Zack asked, his eyes pleading.

Cloud, though, had had too much excitement for one day, and was pretty overwhelmed with all that transpired. He also needed to be quick about writing down his thoughts before he lost them, this way he could begin putting things together and, hopefully, finding some answers. 

“I’ve already helped you with what you wanted,” Cloud stated, pulling his arm from Zack’s grip. “I don’t have anything else to give you right now, so just let me be alone, Zack.” 

Cloud turned his back before he could see the slightly hurt look on the other’s face, and left the room. 

With the blonde already having run off, Zack sighed in defeat.

“He thinks the only thing we want from him is information, but that’s not what I meant when I asked him to stay,” the youngest SOLDIER grumbled. 

“In due time, puppy,” Genesis comforted, plopping down on the sofa with the laptop Cloud had abandoned. “As I suspected, he’s deleted it,” the redhead said without any surprise in his voice, closing the computer over and placing it on the center table. 

“Are you taking him with you when you leave, Seph?” Angeal asked, hitting Genesis in the back of the head when he tried to put his boots up on the raven’s coffee table. 

“Yes, but I’ll give him a moment alone,” the silver-haired man stated, still staring down the hall Cloud had retreated through. Thanks to getting the blonde involved, they knew a lot more today than they had yesterday. Perhaps he should have divulged this information sooner. For now, they’d work with what they were given, and hope Cloud would eventually begin to open up more. Sephiroth felt his willingness to show trust in the blonde had bore more fruit today than any and all progress he’d made so far -- which was pretty much none. 

Things were already trending in the right direction. 

\------------------

Ark observed Hojo as he continued to fiddle with the chemical ratios in his notes. Every once in a while, he’d mutter something angrily under his breath, but he remained quiet and stern for the most part. 

“I don’t understand,” the professor stated with great aggravation, finally having enough. He slammed his wrinkly hands on the tray, sending the vial of liquid crashing to the ground. 

“Professor, forgive me for saying this, but if you keep breaking all of our equipment, Shinra is going to cut some of our funding,” Ark warned. He would never reveal any of the deep satisfaction he felt inside, knowing he was the cause of Hojo’s inner turmoil. 

The scientist looked up at his pupil, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself down. 

“I just don’t know what caused the sample to degrade, and at such a rapid rate. Everything was going fine, and then it just--” the professor sighed, ducking his head in a mildly defeated gesture. 

“Well, you’re going about it the same way you did with your original Jenova subjects. Perhaps you need to reevaluate your methods. Science is not an exact course -- things need to be altered, and thought at from a different angle for each individual. Strife’s body may not be compatible with this particular substance, meaning you’d have to reevaluate the substance used. You need a control, in other words sir,” Ark supplied, hoping that would drive Hojo’s focus more away from Cloud, and closer to something else. 

“Jenova IS the control!” Hojo shouted, turning around aggressively to face the alien woman in her glass prison. He threw his hand up to gesture to her, a look of arousal mixed with godly awe on his face. 

“Is she not the most perfect specimen to ever walk this planet? How could I have a better starting point than her? I’ve gone through every single cell in her body, and have looked at every single microscopic piece of data. How could I possibly alter something that is already in its completed form?” He quizzed, baring his teeth disdainfully at the thought of starting back at square one. 

“You don’t need to alter Jenova herself, maybe just alter the base at which you are working from. Maybe less of an initial injection -- dilute it more. Or maybe the location from which you are extracting the cells. Little things can make a big difference in an outcome; you know that,” the white-haired scientist elaborated, picking up a rice cracker from the sanitized table in front of him, and popping it in his mouth. 

Hojo turned around to glare when he heard the crunching sounds again. 

“Must you eat those in here? This is a sanitized work space, and for all you know you could be contaminating something yourself,” Hojo chastised, ready to sweep the bag of crackers in the trash bin. 

“I didn’t eat lunch, sir,” was all Ark offered up as a defense, that bored look still pressed into his features. 

“I wonder how it is that you carry my blood. You have no care for anything, though your brilliance would suggest you should care about too much in the ways of science,” Hojo glared, plopping a clipboard full of notes in front of his pupil. 

“Forgive me, professor, I cannot help the way I am,” Ark said with faux-regret. 

“Yes, well, you’d do well to stop eating, and review these notes. I need a second opinion, not a bottomless pit of an assistant.” Hojo turned back around to begin cleaning up the mess he’d caused, and pull out more chemical ingredients from the cabinets. 

Ark stared down at the sloppily scrawled notes placed before him, brushing his crumb-covered fingers on his slacks. This phase was two out of three they had to hurdle through before they could continue on to the final stages of testing. After that, Hojo would be increasing his efforts in getting ahold of Cloud. They’d have all the data they’d need, by this point, to begin the project itself on the young man. How long could the white-haired scientist stall Hojo without getting caught, he wondered? Maybe he should just quit while he was ahead, because it really felt like he was delaying the inevitable. 

That turk, Reno, he said Cloud would probably be preparing some sort of escape from Shinra, but how much could he trust a turk? Was it trust enough that he could put his own neck on the line like this. 

Ark sighed, grasping Hojo’s attention where the older scientist had begun remixing a new set of chemicals with Jenova cells. 

“Is there a flaw?” He asked, assuming ark had sighed because he’d seen something wrong with the data. 

“Hm? Oh, not that I can see yet. I was just thinking of how we could reanalyze previous data, without having to rewrite the whole thing,” Ark lied. He knew there was nothing wrong with the original mix, and it was only a matter of time before Hojo decided to retest to see if the mistake had just been a fluke. By then, Ark would have to come up with his next stalling plan if he intended to keep this charade up. Right now, the younger scientist was basically a double agent, though his motives were his own. Ark didn’t pick sides, he was always, and always will be, on his own side, with his own moral compass and agenda. 

He didn’t even know when he’d started working with that turk. Perhaps it was when the redhead had told him he was friends with Cloud, or maybe when Ark had tipped him in on the letters between Hojo and Heidegger. Who knows. 

Before he made a decision on whether or not to continue these diversional tactics, he’d have to find time to meet his new, unorthodox partner. 

\------------------  
Fort Condor had finally been cleaned up. They’d sent tech in to retrieve the bodies of the fallen, and prepare them for an honorable burial. A large perimeter had been set up outside of the area to prevent anyone from going in, the shield unwavering, and designed to deflect anyone who tried to walk in. 

Currently, some idiodic new recruits to the infantry were trying to test that theory. 

“You first man, I don’t wanna get blown up or something,” one recruit, named Harvey, grumbled, clearly the voice of reason in this little trio. 

“Fine, you timid ass Chocobo!” Another recruit, named Jerix, rose to the challenge, obviously the one who made reckless decisions. 

“You two are idiots,” the last recruit, named Ko, said from where he sat in the sand with a tired expression, AKA, the one who couldn’t be bothered. 

Jerix backed up a good ten feet, before getting a running start to try and bypass the barrier. The young brunette let out a war-cry before he came in contact with the shimmering surface, and was bounced back about the same amount of distance he’d started running from. Jerix groaned from the ground he now laid on, right next to Ko, who barely spared him a glance. 

“That’s cool,” the daredevil brunette stated through his pain, this having been the first time he’d ever seen a mako barrier before. 

“Do it again, maybe it’ll knock some brain cells back into your thick skull,” Ko spoke snidely, a wicked grin plastering his pale features. The platinum-blonde male was from Nibelheim, so his features were indicative of his northern-bound ancestry. The only thing on him that wasn’t pale in coloration, were his strikingly deep, chocolate-brown eyes. Even those were seen as delicate and beautiful to most though. Because he came from a cold climate though, the heat of Midgar often drove right through him, and made him feel rather lethargic. 

“You’re too pretty to have a more wicked tongue than my grandfather, Ko,” Jerix whined, managing, after some time, to peel himself off of the ground. 

“What does appearances have anything to do with personality?” Harvey asked, plopping down on the ground next to them. “Drew looks like he could fold your spine in half with his eyes alone, but he’s really nice.” 

“Drew is also a thief, who stole my last chocolate biscuit at dinner two nights ago,” Jerix shot back, angry at the memory of coming back from the bathroom, and seeing crumbs where the treat he’d been saving used to sit. 

“Hey, chucklefucks, what do you think happened in there?” Ko asked, nodding his head at the lines of body bags resting outside of the barrier across the way. 

“Mako poisoning, maybe?” Harvey supplied, tugging on a tuft of black hair that had fallen out of his hair-tie. “I’ve seen it before, sometimes things go wrong with the reactors, and people end up kicking the bucket.” 

“Yah, but this many people?” Ko shook his head, “Reactors typically have around ten or so staff working inside at a time, and they are limited to engineers, and a couple of guardsmen. How did dozens die so quickly? It doesn’t feel right.” 

“I was thinking the same thing. Y’know, I walked past one of our commanding officers on the way here, and apparently the whole reactor is shut off. Something really bad must have been going down for them to do that. Shinra loses a shit ton of money for every minute that thing isn’t running,” Jerix passed the information he’d learnt to his friends. 

“You don’t think it could be a problem for us, do you? I mean, surely if it was too serious, they’d be warning people,” Harvey asked, someo of his worry leaking into his words. 

“Nah, not if it's something that would cause mass panic. Shinra would do everything it could to keep that under lock and key for fear of inciting riots. My guess is, it’s on a need to know basis -- super classified stuff that only the general, and maybe the first class elites would really know about. Well, aside from the people who were there, the president, and turks, of course. Small guys like us at the bottom of the food chain barely get notified when a bathroom is out of order,” Ko refuted, narrowing his eyes as another body was airlifted back to Shinra. 

“The most of a warning we’ll get is this barrier,” Jerix nodded, picking up a pebble off of the ground, and throwing it at the shimmering surface. 

All three of them shouted, and ducked when the pebble flew back at them with the speed of a bullet. They heard the sound of it connecting with something soft, but were too scared to open their eyes until they heard someone clear their throat. 

All three tilted their heads up to look at the looming shadow of first class elite, Zack Fair, standing over them like a god promising pain. 

“I fly all the way over here to help you guys out, and you're sitting on the job, throwing rocks at barriers,” the black-haired man chastised, shaking his head with a chuckle. Zack squatted next to them, turning the pebble over in his hand. 

“S-sir,” Harvey greeted, his form trembling from the massive presence the commanding officer, of his commanding officer, of his commanding officer gave off. 

“Let’s not throw rocks at the barriers anymore, they are designed not to do much harm to the things they deflect, but they basically become a loaded gun when small stuff like this is thrown hard enough. On the other hand...” Zack tossed the pebble up at Jerix, who caught it quickly with a gasp. “That’s a pretty good arm you’ve got there, recruit, I look forward to seeing you in SOLDIER someday -- if you decide to get up and start doing some work, of course,” Zack finished. The dark-haired man stood up, flashing them an encouraging smile, before heading over to talk to the top officials working the field today. 

“T-that was,” Harvey stuttered, still gawking at the back of the man who exuded leadership like the sun did light. 

“First class elite, Zack Fair, the youngest to ever make it to first class in all of Shinra,” Ko supplied, and for all of his stoicism, even he was still staring with wide, innocent eyes. 

“We should probably get up now,” Jerix stated, a blush slightly tinting his cheeks. 

The three of them spent the rest of that day the vision of model infantrymen, their eyes now set on becoming someone Zack Fair would praise. 

\--------------------

Cloud stood awkwardly in the center of Sephiroth’s apartment, the tension of his body the highest it’d been in a while. If he fell over right now, he’d tip like a plank of wood rather than a flailing figure. 

“Relax, Cloud,” Sephiroth chastised, walking around the blonde so he could enter the kitchen and grab a water. 

“I--” Cloud didn’t even get to finish his denial before he was cut off. 

“I don’t appreciate lies,” Sephiroth stated plainly, sipping his water as he observed the younger male, who still refused to make eye contact. This might be a little more difficult than he anticipated. “I don’t have a guest room like the others, they are all being used for something or another. So you can sleep out here, or, you may share a bed with me like you did so with Genesis, the choice is yours,” Sephiroth teased, though a small part of him hoped Cloud would choose the latter. 

“Out here is fine,” the blonde stated, his expressions schooled, and not revealing of what he thought about the idea of sharing a bed with the general. 

“Suit yourself,” Sephiroth resigned, stepping around the man, who was still stiff as a rail, so he could sit on his sofa. “You’re allowed to sit down, Cloud, you don’t have to stand there.” 

Cloud, after a moment of very strong hesitation, and ignoring of the alarm bells in his head, managed to sit down on the opposite end of the couch. His side was pressed into the arm as if moving one centimeter closer to Sephiroth would cause him to go up in flames. 

‘Gaia, could this be more awkward?’ Cloud thought to himself, wanting nothing more than to take refuge with Angeal again. His brain was picked a lot by the raven, but at least he wasn’t sharing a couch with a man he’d seen in his nightmares more times than he could count. He was beginning to accept that this Sephiroth was, for all intents and purposes, a decent man. It was just a hard concept to grasp when he’s suffered so much at the hands of someone who shared the same face. 

“Thank you for trusting me... earlier” Cloud managed to get out, though he cringed at the words. Why was this so difficult? 

Sephiroth glanced at him over the drink he still sipped from, huffing out a breath that sounded oddly like… a laugh?

Cloud looked up, seeing the same tilt in the man’s lips from earlier that day. Was this just Sephiroth’s version of a smile? Even if it wasn’t that obvious, the brightening of his features could make the fangirls howl. It made him look less like the stone-cold general of Shinra’s SOLDIER’s, and more like a gentle being. 

“I didn’t know you could thank someone, Cloud,” Sephiroth joked, and yah, the moment of awe at the silver-haired man’s beauty was gone. 

“I have manners, and use them when I feel they are deserved,” Cloud huffed, jerking his gaze back to the other side of the room. 

“A thanks, while always appreciated, is not needed. I wouldn’t have trusted you had I not thought I could. I, as well as the others, am still a believer that you are not as bad of a person as you’d wish for us to believe,” the general spoke as stern as usual, but with an air of casualty Cloud hadn’t heard before. It was like Sephiroth was beginning to relax with the blonde as much as the younger man was beginning to do so with him. 

“How do you know I didn’t hide anything from you?” Cloud asked, still unable to believe he’d earned the SOLDIER’s complete trust. 

“Oh I know for a fact you hid a lot from me, I just believe you hid only that which you did not want to share yet. I still harbor hopes that maybe you’ll indulge sharing more with us in the future, but I will not force you. I won’t take what isn’t mine,” Sephiroth stated, the double meaning of that last sentence flying over the blonde’s head. “I dare say sharing some of the weight you carry would help you, but it isn’t my weight to bear, even though I would bear it with you should you ask it of me.” 

“Why?” Cloud asked, gripping the material of the couch strong enough to make his nails ache. 

Sephiroth glanced up at the blonde, his brows pinched together in an observational way. His face relaxed when he found whatever it was he searched for, and extended the water bottle he’d been nursing out to Cloud. The blonde looked down at the offering, then back up at Sephiroth’s face. He hadn’t been intending to allow himself to eat or drink anything he received from the silver-haired man, but if Sephiroth had drunk from it first, then there couldn’t be anything in it. His mouth was dry, but he didn’t allow himself enough time to regret not grabbing a bottle or two from Angeal’s house. He grabbed the plastic from the general’s hands, only giving one last glance up at those snake-like eyes, before satiating his thirst. 

“Because I care enough to want to, is that a crime?” Sephiroth quizzed back, his gaze locked onto the way Cloud’s lips locked around the bottle where his own had just touched. There was something both innocent, and startlingly erotic about the indirect kiss they’d shared, as childish as that may sound. To Sephiroth, who still had yet to even touch Cloud in a way that wasn’t trying to move the blonde from his self-destructive path, it was a bit of a tease. 

“It’s not a crime, it’s just strange, I guess” Cloud explained after he swallowed a mouthful of water. 

“Strange how?” Sephiroth asked, curious to know what answer he’d receive. 

“It’s difficult for me to explain... I used to have this guy I idolized for most of my life. I wanted to be him some day, and in my eyes, he could do no wrong,” Cloud began, pausing so he could try and figure out how to finish the story, without revealing more than necessary. 

“And then?” Sephiroth could hear the “but” creeping its way into the blonde’s voice. 

“I was wrong. He did a lot wrong by me, by my friends, by everyone. I spent pretty much the rest of my life thereafter trying to keep a promise I made to a deceased friend, and fighting him. My life belonged to those two people -- it wasn’t my own anymore. I lived and breathed because of a promise, and a messed up childhood ideal. And you-- you remind me a lot of him; the man who I used to idolize.” Cloud tried his best to voice his inner thoughts, but it was difficult, and painful. He couldn’t tell Sephiroth that his idol had been the silver-haired general of Shinra’s army, especially since that wasn’t completely true. If he were to reveal this, he’d have to reveal everything, so he settled for half truths instead. 

“But I’m not this man. Do you think it is not a little unfair to completely deny my existence when we are two different people?” Sephiroth asked.

That question hit a little too close to home for Cloud, who had been battling with the same exact thought for weeks now. 

“You’re right, it isn’t fair, it’s just… self-preservation for what I’m afraid COULD happen.” That was the best way Cloud could explain it. He didn’t want to get too close to the general, in case he really did turn around and betray him again. But maybe -- MAYBE -- that could be the key to preventing the events from his previous timeline from transpiring. Maybe he could prevent Sephiroth from ever believing in an evil being, who wasn’t even his real mother. 

“Hey, Seph?” Cloud began, the questioning utter of the man’s name sounding vulnerable, and like it had come from the mouth of a child rather than an adult. The blonde was quick to clear his throat, and dash these childish fears away. 

“Sunshine?” Sephiroth tested the nickname he’d chosen for Cloud on his tongue, and found it fit perfectly. He didn’t miss the way Cloud’s breath caught in his throat, nor the way the blonde turned his head away in clear embarrassment. Eye contact could be fixed at a later date, for now, the general could be content enough that Cloud hadn’t scolded him for the term. 

“Do you know…” Cloud trailed, battling to get the words out. If he said them, they could cause more problems than they could fix, but he couldn’t help feeling they were important to be uttered. 

“Do I know?” Sephiroth echoed, trying to get the words out of the blonde. 

“I know this is a strange thing to ask, but do you know who your mother is?” Cloud quizzed, taking the general by surprise, for it had been the last thing he’d expected Cloud to ask. 

“My mother? Lucrecia Crescent,” the general replied with a bit of difficulty. His upbringing was one of his greater wounds, which he rarely shared about, even with the other three. 

Cloud gave him a poorly concealed look of surprise, biting his bottom lip to obviously prevent himself from saying something. 

“Did you know her?” Sephiroth asked, not sure if that was possible considering Cloud’s age, and when his mother had died. 

“Oh, no, the name just sounded familiar, I’m sorry,” Cloud told another half-truth, but felt nothing but confusion in his mind. Perhaps that’s why, in this timeline, Sephiroth never went insane, because he already knew the truth. Or maybe the name was the only thing different, and Sephiroth still didn’t know the rest. There was no way to tell, and Cloud wasn’t about to pry open wounds needlessly. 

“It’s alright, you’ve nothing to apologize for,” Sephiroth comforted gently, still a bit disgruntled by the way Cloud turned his head away. 

The blonde had this way of acting fragile and delicate, while not at the same time. Some of the actions he displayed looked like they’d belong to a kid, perhaps a part of the younger male that never fully matured, but they also held an air of strength and defiance that made them very much Cloud. Nothing about him said he was weak, and he made sure people knew that. However strong the blonde may be though, it was still obvious when he was fearful, flustered, or hiding something. 

“Would you like to play a game, Cloud?” Sephiroth asked, breaking the silence. 

“A game?” The blonde had a look of “are you kidding me?” etched into his features, but he was at least listening. 

“It’s not exactly the kind of game you’d play with children; it’s more of a warfare, or strategizing sort. It may prove enjoyable, if you’re willing,” Sephiroth explained, hoping Cloud would agree. 

The younger man looked like he was pondering it, before he finally relented and nodded his head. “Yah, sure.” 

The game was more than just a strategizer, it was also a test of IQ, and battle experience itself. Depending on Cloud’s ability to think, and develop a plan, Sephiroth would be able to get a basis of exactly how much Cloud was prepared to be a part of a class in the Shinra SOLDIER program. Brains was just as important as brawn, and if all went well, he could potentially find a place for the blonde among the first class elites. Surely Cloud might enjoy his own apartment in the future, not that any of them minded his presence, and not anytime too soon, but later on down the line. Sephiroth would also internally admit his personal curiosity, as well as how likely it was for the blonde to slip out from underneath them. If something happened, and Cloud decided to try and run off, his IQ and planning skills would tell Sephiroth exactly how much of an eye to keep on him. 

He didn’t think any of them could stomach letting the blonde go… not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shame on you by Jacob Whitesides
> 
> Next Chapter Summary: Cloud and Sephiroth play a game, which reveals Cloud might be more adept in war than Sephiroth thought. A look at Zack in Fort Condor reveals something rather disturbing. Cloud and Sephiroth have a moment while Sephiroth tries to tame Cloud's hair, which may or may not lead to sharing something neither of them knew was coming. Angeal and Genesis try to figure out the path of the infection, which leads to a startling revelation. Cloud has an inside battle after his encounter with Sephiroth, which leads him to question what he wants, and who he is.


	23. Hallucinogenics

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud and Sephiroth play a game, which reveals Cloud might be more adept in war than Sephiroth thought. A look at Zack in Fort Condor reveals something rather disturbing. Cloud and Sephiroth have a moment while Sephiroth tries to tame Cloud's hair, which may or may not lead to sharing something neither of them knew was coming. Angeal and Genesis try to figure out the path of the infection, which leads to a startling revelation. Cloud has an inside battle after his encounter with Sephiroth, which leads him to question what he wants, and who he is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright lovelies, here is the new chapter, on schedule, though maybe a little later in the day than I intended :'D I hope you all enjoy it, and let me know what you think. I know I'm waaaay behind on replying to comments because I've been so busy, but just know I read each and every one of them, and they reignite my determination to write each chapter. 
> 
> **WARNINGS: Panic attacks, graphic depiction of mental health problems, feels lots of feels, warning for something you probably didn't see coming and you'll know it when you read it**
> 
> Tag of the chapter: bless the patience of Zack Fair.

"Pushing past the limit

Tripping on hallucinogenics

And then crawled back to the life 

That I said I woudn't live in

Cause I carried on like the wayward son

And now through and through

I've come undone

And now I am just but the wayward man

What with my bloodshot eyes

and my shaky hand" 

-Hallucinogenics by: Matt Maeson

(For the last scene of this story, that starts out with Cloud thinking, I highly recommend listening to this song.)

\--------------------

“How does this work?” Cloud asked Sephiroth, staring down at the messy array of paper, pencils, and game materials. 

“I am on the opposing team, and it is my objective to defeat your military. As I mentioned before, this game is very highly based on strategy, where the decisions you make will determine the outcome of the war,” Sephiroth began explaining the game, organizing the items around them in a more neatly setup manner. “You may write down your strategy and future plans on this piece of paper,” Sephiroth passed over the paper, along with one of the pencils. “Be warned, if given the opportunity, my spies can sneak into your units, and snatch up this information. At which point, you would be forced to let me read your paper. This works vice versa as well, of course.” Sephiroth peaked up at Cloud as he spoke, his eyes examining for any signs of confusion in the blonde’s face. 

“What terrain can battles be fought on, and what determines the end of the war?” Cloud quizzed, his face as stoic, and unrevealing as ever.

“Battles can be fought anywhere. You can create a blockade on the ocean, and prevent supplies from reaching me from my allies. You can also launch an attack on any of my squadrons at any time, but be mindful of how close help is, and make sure you know where my other squadrons might be. If you attack my men in Junon, and I happen to have a team nearby that is greater than the strength of your attacking army, then you will lose your own men. Do you understand so far?” Sephiroth quizzed, only gaining a nod from Cloud, before continuing. “You have five army cards, which tell you the strength of that particular squadron. You additionally have ten warfare cards, which allow you to perform actions from stealing information, planting a spy, or even releasing a bomb. This is more of a play based on experience, or learn as you go game, so there isn’t much more I can tell you,” Sephiroth finished, dealing out the cards between himself and Cloud. 

“Alright, who goes first?” Cloud didn’t look bored with the idea of playing, but he also didn’t look overly enthused. The silver-haired man couldn’t for the life of him figure out what was going through the blonde’s head. Perhaps Cloud would be better at this game than he originally thought. 

In truth, there was a lot more he was supposed to have explained to Cloud before the game began, but he also wanted to gauge how well the younger male could function off of minimal information. 

“I’ll go first as a demonstration,” Sephiroth replied shortly, flipping over one of his army cards in the grasslands area outside of Midgar’s borders. The platoon was average in strength, with an attack power of 400, defense of 320, and magic ability of 50. He then pulled out a marker, demonstrating that he’d established communication channels with another, undercover squadron. He quickly jotted down the location of the hidden team so that he wouldn’t forget. 

Cloud’s brow arched upward for a microsecond as he processed the move, before he placed a squadron of his own in Fort Condor. He then placed a ward marker from his specialty card deck, signifying an up of 150 defense points. He also wrote something down, but was quick to place the paper face down on the table again. 

“Protecting your Fort Condor troops… they’re far away from mine, and have a decent attack power, why are you so defensive of them?” Sephiroth quizzed, but received no response. Cloud simply looked up at him with a guarded expression, and waited for Sephiroth to make his own move. 

“Fair enough,” the general nodded, placing his next squadron in Midgar. This was one of his stronger teams, with an attack power of over 100,000. He didn’t bother putting up defenses like Cloud had, as he felt secure that his two adjacent teams could easily overpower the blonde’s. “Do you know what the most effective type of attack is during a war?” Sephiroth asked after settling back in his seat. 

“There are too many strategies to count, and all of them are effective in their own ways,” Cloud responded, still playing on the defensive as Sephiroth’s troops began to surround his own. 

“That’s true, there are perhaps thousands of methods, and while you can play dirty, war comes with no rules or instruction manual like this game does. However, when attacking an opponent, there is one, sure-fire way to make them writhe,” Sephiroth elaborated. The silver-haired man stared down at his cards, and watched his opponent curiously as he jotted something down on his paper. 

“Oh?” Cloud acknowledged with a bored tone of voice, placing another squadron on the opposite side of Midgar, directly behind Sephiroth’s.

The general narrowed his eyes at the play; Cloud now had squadrons in Fort Condor, behind Midgar, and just outside Kalm. Sephiroth felt as though his troops, which were mostly circulated in the middle of the map, were beginning to be surrounded. Still, he wasn’t yet close enough to distress that he felt he needed to make any drastic moves, so he bided his time. 

“The most effective way to attack your opponent is by attacking their mind -- make them think they are about to achieve victory, and then snatch away all of their hope. An army without hope is as good as sending children into war, armed with nothing more than sticks and buckets.” Sephiroth noticed Cloud was relying very heavily on the notes he was taking, with the blonde constantly peaking at the paper beneath his finger tips. 

The silver-haired man’s mouth curved upwards in a tiny smirk at the novice approach to the game. That was a mistake many first time players made, and it left them painfully weak to double agents. Therefore, he felt fairly confident that his next move would help ensure his victory in this mock war. 

“I’ve planted a spy in your ranks, Cloud, hand over your paper,” Sephiroth announced, putting down the double agent card on the table. 

The blonde made a noise of disapproval in the back of his throat, and glared up at the general, but ultimately handed his paper over. 

Sephiroth gave Cloud a new paper, since the old information was “stolen,” and nodded approvingly when the younger male set it to the side rather than tried to fill it with new information. 

Lesson learned.

The game continued on rather smoothly, and Cloud still continued with the plan he’d written down on the paper Sephiroth had snatched. The ability to come up with a new plan quickly was another, extremely important skill one needed to adopt when they were responsible for the lives of their troops. So far, Cloud’s abilities were on level with a first-time war general. 

“How long have you been a combatant?” Sephiroth quizzed, focusing in on the way Cloud bit his lower lip. 

The blonde looked up from what he was doing, slightly taken aback by the question.

“A long time,” Cloud replied, his tone a mixture of sadness, and aggravation. 

“What pulled you into this world?” Sephiroth paused for a couple of beats after the question, feeling as though it might seem more like an interrogation than small talk if he didn’t offer something in return. “I’ve been fighting wars for Shinra for as long as I can remember, my first present from my father was a weapon.” There was a bit of light humor in the silver-haired male’s tone, as he’d long since gotten over his childhood hatred for his unconventional upbringing. 

“Why do you want to know?” Cloud countered with a question of his own, cocking his head to the side in a charming way as he maneuvered one of his squadrons around. 

“Call it curiosity that I would like to know a bit about you,” Sephiroth soothed, knowing the question had put Cloud on the defensive. 

The blonde hummed, finishing what he was doing, before giving Sephiroth his attention. Blue eyes searched silvery-green for any traces of deceit. When none was found, Cloud gave the barest of nods, and pulled that lower lip back into his mouth. 

“I grew up in a town that was nowhere near as advanced as Shinra, but the stories of war heroes still managed to reach us. I wanted to join ‘this world,’ as you put it, because, more than anything, I wanted to make a difference. Probably should have just stayed home,” Cloud grumbled out the last part, but Sephiroth heard it easy enough. 

“Those given the freedom of choice, very often choose wrong,” Sephiroth chuckled, the soft sound startling Cloud enough for his eyes to flicker upwards again. 

“I wouldn’t say I chose ‘wrong…’ when I consider my past, surely the best option would have been to stay home and save myself so much-- so much trouble, but I don’t think my choice was wrong. If anything, knowing what the future would have held, and choosing to never walk the path I did would have been more wrong.” It was a well thought out response, and Sephiroth could tell Cloud had put much thought to it in his own time. These were questions Cloud had asked himself before, and were more than likely the ones that had kept him awake on many nights. 

“Admirable -- but surely you’d do things differently? We all make mistakes on the roads we choose to travel. I imagine you aren’t any different.” Sephiroth was beginning to press into, what he might consider, dangerous territories when it came to talking about the younger male’s past. Even so, his curiosities couldn’t be sated by stopping the conversation where they had left it. 

“There are more things I’d do differently than I can even count. For the better part of my past, I was like a kid stumbling around in the dark. My ‘hero-fairytale-ideal,’ was definitely the vision of a boy who had no idea what he was doing. Life is never so simple though,” Cloud responded easily enough, not too uncomfortable with the conversation yet. 

“And what changed?” Sephiroth scattered some land mines across the board outside of Midgar, protecting his troops from Cloud’s own platoon, which was still stationed behind him. His fingers moved deftly over the cards and supplies he had left, as he tried to procure some sort of structure for the final rounds. 

Cloud took a long time to answer, his mouth set in a straight line. When his turn came around, Sephiroth expected him to move his platoons away from the threat Sephiroth imposed. Instead, he moved the cards across the board in a manner that was completely different than what he’d planned out on his paper. 

The general looked down at the jotted notes, realizing Cloud had long since diverted from his original plan. The squadron with an upped defense poured into the mainland, and easily took out two of his squadrons. The team in Midgar was faced with a hidden squadron, and bomb squad, which easily navigated the minefield he’d set out. By the time he was done, only one of Sephiroth’s squads remained, and he lost by overpower. 

“I grew up,” Cloud finally answered, placing his hands back in his lap while he looked over his handiwork. 

“The paper was a decoy; you never planned to go by this methodology,” Sephiroth concluded, realizing where his own mistake had been. 

“Your own words: Make the enemy think one thing, before snatching that line of thought away,” Cloud nodded as he spoke, flipping over his remaining cards. The arrangement made it clear that, should this plan have failed, he had many more lined up in a successive order. There was one card, however, that was cast to the side completely, and laid forgotten. 

“That card?” Sephiroth pointed to it, wanting to know how bad it must be for it to not even have a place in Cloud’s plans. 

Cloud glanced over at it, a look of distaste pressing itself into his soft features. He flipped it over, only because Sephiroth had inquired about it. 

The card, bathed in blue and green, with a transparent medical cross covering the front of it, wasn’t a bad card at all. On the contrary, the biowarfare card was one of the best in the deck, and could completely obliterate one, or more enemy platoons. 

“It’s a dirty card, and I didn’t want to use it,” Cloud stated plainly, already beginning to clean up the mess. 

“War is dirty,” Sephiroth shook his head, trying to understand what set of personal rules made Cloud Strife tick.

“War is just war, it’s humans that choose to fight unfairly. Greed can easily turn your own weapons against you.” Cloud was set in his thoughts, while Sephiroth was still attempting to figure out where the blonde learned how to strategize so effectively. 

There was no mistaking things; not only was Cloud incredibly intelligent, but it was clear he’d fought in enough wars of his own to know how to outsmart the enemy. In short, Sephiroth had underestimated his opponent greatly. If Cloud was given an IQ examination, and booked as a prisoner of war, his file would be flagged red for the highest threat level. 

What Genesis had said earlier really hit home now, because Sephiroth understood the truth behind those words. If Cloud was on the enemy side, there was no doubt in the general’s mind that he could easily take more than one of the four firsts with him before he fell. 

Shinra’s great general, and the young blonde that appeared out of nowhere… they were on equal ground. 

“What could possibly exist in this world, that has the ability to scare you so much, Cloud?” Sephiroth asked gently. 

Cloud, who was busy folding the game’s map up, froze mid-action, his eyes developing a far off look. 

“Why do you assume I’m scared of something?” Cloud quizzed, quickly recovering from his initial shock at the question. He finished packing up the game as he spoke, a look of approval on his face as he regarded the clean table. 

“For all of your intelligence, and strength, you still maintain the mentality of a child seeing their first battle. In many ways, you’re too innocent, and that shows in the way you fight to face your fears.” Sephiroth explained his thought process carefully, hoping not to say something that would cause his company to clam up again. 

“Or--” Cloud trailed, his full attention on the silver-haired man now that the living room was clean. “That’s just the way I am, and you’re looking too hard for something that isn’t there.”

If fear and pain were ingrained so much in a person, that they became a part of that person's personality, then that was even more sad than believing them to be a flaw…

\-----------------

“You’re sure Fort Condor has been completely cleared out, and there are no holes, or weaknesses in the barrier?” Zack asked the head of operations in Fort Condor -- a stoic man named Gerard, who was stronger than most infantrymen, but still below the bar for SOLDIER qualifications. 

“I’m positive. My men have scoured the entire perimeter checking the strength of the barrier, and all of the dead are currently being airlifted back to Midgar,” Gerard confirmed. The gruff man, with his greying beard and sturdy figure, paid hardly any attention to Zack as he read over some documents one of his underlings had handed to him. If it were anyone else, like Genesis, the clipboard would have been tossed to the other side of Gaia by now, but Zack was a patient man. He wouldn’t say the lack of respect and attention didn’t aggravate him a bit, but he wasn’t about to throw a temper tantrum over it either. 

“Have there been any other signs of illness, or any hints at a containment leak?” Zack asked his next question, carefully going through the protocols that had been assigned to him. 

“No, Mr. Fair,” the older male grumbled, his eyes flickering up at a group of infantrymen rough housing a little ways away. “I assure you, if I come across anything that seems dangerous, you will be the first to know.” 

Much of Gerard's bitter attitude came from the fact that he worked for people half his age. Sure, he was older, but all Zack had to do was lift his pinky finger, and he could knock the pompous bastard down a peg or two. Sephiroth absolutely hated Gerard, and Zack couldn’t help but wonder if that was the reason the grey-haired male had been sent to Fort Condor. Sephiroth, perhaps, hoped Geostigma would get rid of the massive pain in the ass, and then the general could just call it natural selection. 

“Just doing my job, Gerard,” Zack assured, trying to diffuse the situation a bit, so that he could begin asking his next round of questions. 

“Ain’t we all,” the officer stated plainly, flipping to the next page in the inch-thick pile of documents he held. 

“Have the samples the General asked for been sent to Shinra’s labs?” Zack hated these kinds of assignments where he basically was just playing babysitter to a bunch of middle men. Still, he couldn’t say it didn’t feel good to be back out in the field again after being stuck at home for so long. His patience right now, aside from just being his chilled out self, was partially the result of his good mood. 

“We’re exporting them as fast as we can, but many of them require a proper protocol for transport. Even Shinra’s general can’t expect us to be able to overnight biohazardous materials, without first making sure my men are safe handling them.” Gerard shot Zack a look over his shoulder, that was rather mocking. 

“I’m not a biologist, but I know biological matter degrades over time, be it from a SOLDIER or not. The longer the samples sit in a cooler, the harder it will be to process them. I’m trying to prevent more casualties, including the deaths of you and your men. The least you could do is work with me,” Zack chastised, his patience beginning to slip with how much shit Gerard was giving him. 

The officer looked like he was about to say something else, when one of his underlings interrupted. 

“Sir, we were patrolling the perimeter and-- and, well, there’s something we think you should see,” the young infantryman stated, bowing quickly, but respectfully at Zack as a way of acknowledging the SOLDIER’s presence. 

“I really can’t deal with more bad news right now, so this better be worth you bothering me,” Gerard barked, following behind the young man who began scurrying away. 

Zack followed closely behind, not wanting to be a burden, but also feeling like this was something he should look at as well. His boots kicked up dirt under his feet during the five minute trek, causing a cloudy film of dust to coat his black combat pants. It was sad that he’d been out of commission for so long, that he even missed being covered from head to toe in the desert dust. 

The infantrymen led them to one of the set up camp sites. In the center of the mass of tents and set up tables was a cluster of men, staring down at something which had obviously piqued their interest. Gerard barreled through the hoard, while Zack offered light “excuse me”’s as he followed closely. Once at the center of the circle, the black-haired SOLDIER stared down with equal interest at what awaited him. 

“What the hell is that?” Gerard asked, a mix of disgust and appallment making his words sound breathy. 

Zack had no answers, and felt just as confused as Gerard did staring down at the weird, black, goop that was slowly seeping up from the ground. It had the look of tar, bubbling every now and again as it forced its way from the ground. The sand around it shifted and sunk into the hole the goop created, which, Zack realized, looked oddly like the sludge covering the men who died. 

One of the infantrymen, probably a kid in his mid-teens by the look of his stature, bent over to touch the mysterious substance. Zack was quick to react, grabbing the startled combatant by his bicep, and forcing him to stand back up. 

“Don’t touch it, it’s dangerous,” he warned, giving the shivering male a reassuring smile to calm his nerves. He turned to face Gerard, raising his voice so that his message was clear to everyone. “I want these campsites cleared within the next twenty-four hours, and everyone here back at the screening gates outside Midgar. If anyone touches the tar after I’ve explicitly said not to, then leave them behind, because they’re as good as dead,” Zack announced, turning on his heels so he could begin heading back to the helicopter that brought him there. 

“You can’t just shut down operations here in one night, Mr. Fair!” Gerard called after him, hot on the SOLDIER’s heals. “We need time to get our things in order, and all of this has to go through General Sephiroth. You may be one of his favorite pets, but that does not give you the authority to shut down entire operations!” 

“If you wanna die, then by all means, stay Gerard, but I don’t plan on dying today, and I don’t plan on letting these men die either,” Zack countered humorously, loving when people played the ‘your the boss’s favorite’ card, just because he was young and successful. 

“Do you even know what’s going on? For all we know it could be nothing!” The man screeched, still chasing after Zack even as the SOLDIER began talking to the pilot of the helicopter. 

“I have a hunch, and, you know, common sense. Black sludge doesn’t just leak out of the ground for no reason, especially not directly outside of an already contaminated site. So no, I can’t say I know exactly what’s going on, but I do know one thing for certain,” Zack stated, pulling himself, along with a couple of younger infantrymen up into the aircraft. 

“And what is that?” Gerard hissed out the question, some saliva flying out of his mouth in a grotesque snarl. 

“The contamination is spreading, and these barriers we’ve set up will mean nothing soon. I have people I need to talk to, and I know for a fact Sephiroth would be making the same decision I am if he were here. We’re working hard to find answers, but in order to do so we actually need our men alive. Stop being such a pompous ass for a second, and just do as you're told, that’s an order,” Zack commanded, shooting a glare at Gerard as the helicopter began lifting off of the ground. 

If the barriers weren’t containing the problem, then they were about to have to seriously reevaluate their approach to this disease. 

\-------------------

Sephiroth was almost embarrassed to admit how closely he was watching Cloud fiddle with his spiky hair after the young male took a shower. It seemed the blonde really struggled to get the obnoxious tufts to behave, and something about that was rather cute. 

Cloud sneered as he pulled down on one of the longer spikes that framed his face, only for it to fluff back out like a ruffled chocobo. The younger male was trying to eat a bag of rice crackers Sephiroth had given him, but most of his focus was still on his hair. 

“Would you like some assistance, Cloud?” Sephiroth finally asked, trying to keep the humor out of his voice so as not to ruffle the blonde’s feathers even more. 

“It’s always like this, it’ll lay down soon,” Cloud grumbled, popping another cracker aggressively into his mouth like it had offended him. 

The silver-haired man hummed, setting down the documents he’d been reading on the marble countertop. Cloud glanced up at him when he left the room, but continued eating and virtually ignoring the general when he saw nothing of interest. 

Sephiroth perused through the many haircare products under the sink in his bathroom, searching for the one he knew would help Cloud with his problem. When he caught sight of a purple bottle with an “anti-frizz” label in the back, he let out a sound of approval, before beginning his walk back to the living room. 

“Head back,” Sephiroth ordered, uncapping the bottle, and squeezing a generous amount into his palm. 

“What is that?” Cloud asked, skeptical of the idea of allowing Sephiroth to rub some unknown substance into his hair. 

Sephiroth flashed the bottle in front of Cloud’s face, allowing the blonde to see what the product was. 

“It’s going to help your hair behave,” Sephiroth explained. When Cloud was still hesitant, Sephiroth placed a finger under his chin, and carefully tilted the younger male’s head back himself. The general could feel the way Cloud swallowed, his nerves at an all time high with his throat now exposed. “Relax, I wouldn’t do something that would hurt you--” Sephiroth trailed, thinking about whether or not he should allow the next words to fall from his lips. Well, a little teasing never hurt anyone. “That is, unless you asked me to.” 

Cloud’s breath hitched, his eyes widening just enough for Sephiroth to see the change in his soft features. The silver-haired man’s lips tilted in a half sweet, half dangerous smile, while his fingers massaged the product into Cloud’s mussed hair. 

“What do you mean?” The blonde asked after a moment of silence had stretched between them, his tone sounding thick, and, dare he say, sweetly innocent. 

“Exactly what you think I mean. Though I’m sure you won’t outwardly admit it to us right now, you love when you hurt, don’t you sunshine?” Sephiroth subtly caressed the sensitive flesh behind Cloud’s ear as he spoke -- an action that was so gentle, that one could easily mistake it for an accidental touch. 

Cloud remained silent, but his entire demeanor began shifting to that of someone battling with their nerves. Sephiroth could always tell he’d hit one of these nerves, when Cloud avoided answering the question he was prevented with. For someone so reserved, the blonde was typically rather open about defending himself. In this way, perhaps Cloud was also still rather sweetly innocent, and Sephiroth’s mind wandered to all of the other ways he was sweet, and the ways he could corrupt that innocence. 

“The four of you are playing the same game,” Cloud suddenly muttered, his head tilting into one of Sephiroth’s palms when the general massaged a particular area. 

“Game?” Sephiroth asked, amusement very obviously lacing his words. 

“Why… What I mean is, why are all of you acting so--” the words were caught in Cloud’s throat, but Sephiroth knew exactly what Cloud was trying to say. How much longer until they were really caught? How much longer until their intentions were so obvious, even Cloud would be able to see them for what they were?

Sephiroth stopped massaging the product into Cloud’s head for a second, trying to figure out what the right next move would be.

“I could show you,” the general finally managed to say, almost afraid to say the words at all. 

“Show me?” Cloud echoed softly, subconsciously tilting his head when the movement of Sephiroth’s fingers in his hair stopped. 

“I can show you exactly what my intentions are, and exactly what I desire, if it is what you wish,” Sephiroth’s tone was painfully softy and kind, but there was an air of something else there. Something darker, and more daringly sensual. 

“I--” Cloud began, but stopped short. With the direction things were trending in, it was clear he was beginning to lose his ability to think properly. 

Sephiroth couldn’t help wondering if this was what Genesis and Zack got to see before they felt the sweet touch of Cloud’s lips on their own. His mind also wandered to more sinister images; to visions of all the ways he could tease Cloud while the blonde tried to think of how to respond. His reactions would be so beautifully honest, and unguarded -- the complete opposite of Cloud on a normal day. 

Taking a leap of faith, Sephiroth swallowed down the warning bells inside his head that told him to release his hold on the blonde. He tightened his grip in Cloud’s hair, yanking the younger’s head back in a way that wasn’t too painful, but still elicited a groan. He listened to the quick pace of Cloud’s breath, as his mouth ghosted across that porcelain neck -- not quite touching the flesh, but allowing his breath to press heat into the flesh there. He could hear Cloud’s teeth grinding, as the blonde fought back whatever sounds he would have made. 

There was something dangerous about this, and all Sephiroth could think about was how he wanted more. 

“I want you to trust in me, Cloud,” Sephiroth whispered into the pale flesh behind Cloud’s ear. “I want you to extend to me the same amount of trust I’ve been extending to you. I would not do something that would harm you -- do you know why?” Sephiroth quizzed, rubbing a soothing thumb over Cloud’s chin. 

Cloud didn’t say anything, but the silver-haired man could feel the way his words affected the blonde when he shivered under Sephiroth’s touch. 

“Because I don’t destroy the things that are mine.” As soon as the words left Sephiroth’s lips, he placed them on Cloud’s. There was nothing violent, or overly hungry about the kiss, but the general did make his dominance in it known. He guided Cloud in the exchange, coaxing the blonde into moving his own lips like Sephiroth moved his. There was very little confidence in the younger male’s movements, but that just made it all the more sweet, and Cloud was, in fact, tooth-achingly sweet. Sephiroth’s tongue peaked out the tiniest bit -- searching, tasting. Cloud’s sweetness could be compared to that of the richest cream on Gaia, and it made the general wonder how the blonde could hate eating sweets so much when he was like sugar himself. 

Sephiroth’s way of kissing was not like the others, who were careful not to go too far. The more primal urges inside the general seeked to completely devour Cloud until he was a mess underneath of him. Harm Cloud -- he’d never. Mess him up until the only thing Cloud could say was his name -- gladly. 

At the feel of Sephiroth’s tongue on his lips, Cloud instinctually opened his mouth in a silent gasp. When he did, Sephiroth took the opportunity to, very carefully, touch the tip of his tongue to the blonde’s. Cloud made a sound of surprise, which slowly melted into something like a broken moan. It sounded so desperate, and pleading, that Sephiroth felt ill to decline. He pressed his tongue back into that sugary cavern, feeling the velvety softness that existed there. Only when Sephiroth needed to breath did he finally pull back, nipping the plump flesh of Cloud’s bottom lip, before licking the sting away. 

Cloud made a sound of discontentment in the back of his throat, which Sephiroth soothed with a gentle shushing noise, and a hand massaging back through blonde hair. 

“Do you even realize how beautiful your submission is, sunshine?how perfect you are?” Sephiroth asked breathily. “If not for your clear purity, I’d have you under me.” 

“Under?” Cloud echoed -- something he obviously did when he was unable to process the meaning behind words. 

But let these words fade, for Sephiroth feared, should he explain their meaning, Cloud might flee from being overwhelmed. That was something to be breached on another day, perhaps on one where they’d grown so close, that it would be alright for Sephiroth to ravage his newfound favorite treat. 

“I’ll let you rest now. Your hair shouldn’t be as fluffed about now, and let me know if there’s anything else you require.” Sephiroth didn’t want to overcrowd the blonde, though every instinct inside of him screamed that Cloud should be in his bed tonight, not on the couch. 

At the very least, he assuredly made his intentions very clear today. 

\-------------------

“Ang, would you be a dear and cook something for me?” Genesis asked for about the millionth time. His head hung off of the raven’s coach as he laid upside down, with his legs swung over the back of the furniture, and his spine pressing into the seat. 

“For the fifth time, I’m busy, Genesis,” Angeal muttered while typing something out on his computer. The raven wasn’t an expert on disease, nor on geography, and yet he was assigned with the task of mapping out the next potential geostigma outbreak location. There was no clear pattern on how the disease acted though, and the only true information he had was that it chose places with a high mako concentration. In short, trying to figure out where it would hit next was like trying to calculate when the next story would occur in a room without windows -- he couldn’t even see when the clouds were beginning to form. 

“How long was the down time between the incident at Junon, and the one at Fort Condor?” Genesis asked, hoping he might be able to help because he knew the faster Angeal had a breakthrough, the faster he’d be able to talk the raven into taking a break to feed him. The problem was that, other than both locations housing a reactor, there were absolutely zero similarities. Junon was on the water, while Fort Condor was in the middle of the desert, and aside from this, they also were hundreds of miles apart. How could someone predict the next location when there was nothing to go on?

“I believe the time between the first occurrences of something wrong in Junon, happened about a week before things went bad in Fort Condor,” Angeal answered, scratching at where stubble was forming on his chin. 

“That’s not very long… would it be safe to say that maybe the infection spread at the same time, but got to Fort Condor first?” 

“I’ve considered that, but that makes no sense, the closest thing to Junon is Midgar; everything else is separated by an ocean,” Angeal shook his head as he spoke, throwing the idea out the window. 

Genesis hummed and continued thinking, sitting up instantly when something clicked. 

“Cloud said Geostigma would never harm Midgar because of the church that purifies the disease in sector 5, right?” 

Angeal shot Genesis a weird look as the redhead spoke, nodding his head to confirm the man’s words. 

“Infections have to have a host, however, some hosts can spread illness, without getting sick. What if the church -- our antibody, if you will -- prevents Midgar from getting sick, but we’re still contagious?” Midgar has the absolute highest concentration of Mako on Gaia, it would make sense for the illness to attack there first. From there, it would be able to spread to Junon, and then to Fort Condor. That was Genesis’s line of thought, anyways. 

“If that were true, it would mean the cause of geostigma is right here in Midgar… but why wouldn’t Cloud tell us that?” Angeal asked, his brows pinching together thoughtfully. 

“Either because he didn’t know, or because he’s afraid us knowing might cause something bad to happen. I wouldn’t try to squeeze the answers out of him either way, until we at least know this theory is true,” Genesis warned, feeling like they were beginning to cross over into dangerous waters. 

“The only way to test this theory is to calculate where the next infection would happen, based on its distance from Midgar.” Angeal typed on the computer, trying to figure out the next closest reactor. 

“It would be either Corel, or the destroyed reactor in Gongaga--” Genesis trailed, knowing from memory where Shinra’s reactors were located. 

“Corel is closer. Would the infection spread to Gongaga though if the reactor isn’t active anymore?” Angeal quizzed, a look of doubt etched into his masculine features. 

“Infections can seep into wounds as well, and the devastation of the Gongaga reactor is most certainly a massive wound.” If they were going off of this lifestream infection theory, then Genesis had no doubt that the disease could spread to Gongaga. He hoped he was wrong, especially considering Zack’s family lived there, but if it did hit Corel, then they’d have their answers. 

“If this is coming from somewhere in Midgar, then we need to find the source as soon as possible,” Angeal stated after sending out a message to the Shinra officials who needed to be aware of their findings. 

“Which would mean we’d need to talk to our favorite blonde soon.”

\-----------------

Cloud still couldn’t wrap his brain around what had happened, nor could he even begin to understand why he’d, not only allowed it to happen, but enjoyed it so much. 

After their exchange, Sephiroth had retired to his own room, leaving Cloud to relax out in the sitting area. This, of course, left Cloud to process what transpired between him and the man he swore he’d always hate. Aside from that, this meant he’d now kissed three of the four firsts, and it made him feel both a fluttering sensation in his stomach, and guilt. 

Sure, the last two he hadn’t initiated himself, but he definitely hadn’t pulled away either. He’d kissed Sephiroth though, of all people, and that was a terrifying thing to begin unpacking. It wasn’t that he’d never found the older male attractive, and he didn’t pretend that all of the times he’d fantasized about the silver-haired general back in his infantry days didn’t happen. It was just that, after all he’d suffered at the hands of the Sephiroth in his own timeline, it felt strange to share something so intimate. 

In many ways, battling with another was an intimate thing, and, at times, you could learn more about a person's passions, hopes, and dreams through exchanging swipes of the sword than you could talking. A kiss was something else entirely though; a different kind of intimate that Cloud never knew he desired so much. The way the silver-haired man had touched him, and took control of every fiber of his being… it was something Cloud had never before felt. He was learning quickly that a kiss shared with each male was vastly different. 

Kissing Zack was sweeter, while kissing Genesis held a lot of emotion, and kissing Sephiroth was filled with unbridled passion. What would it feel like to kiss Angeal? Cloud imagined it to be more tinder, not as sweet as with Zack -- a little more primal than that -- but tender like biting into a ripe strawberry. 

The blonde shook his head, surprised by his own line of thought. It wasn’t bad enough he’d already kissed three out of the four men, but now he was fantasizing about what the fourth would feel like. This wasn’t like him; he was beginning to lose sight of his goals, and couldn’t even remember the last time he seriously thought about his escape. He was here in the first place, because he’d been kidnapped and held hostage. This wasn’t some romantic, fairytale story where his knights in shining armor came and knocked him off his feet. This was the real world -- this was reality, and she was a bitter mistress. Even if he did admit to his growing feelings, there was no way he could have all four, and no way things would even work out anyways. 

Cloud brought death, and destruction; he couldn’t hold onto something as fragile as love, because he’d only break it. This was the reality of his existence, and he merely had to live it out until the day he could finally be at peace. Cloud Strife was nothing more than a tool, which would work until the day it bent and outlived its usefulness. 

For the first time in as long as he could remember, rather than thinking this with zero emotion, the reality behind these words hurt him. Cloud felt a sharp pain in his chest, which caused him to grasp at the material of his shirt. 

He didn’t want to be a tool, that couldn’t care or be cared for. 

He didn’t want to live an existence devoid of feeling or emotion. 

He didn’t want to break everything he touched…

Was it so bold for him to believe that something was owed to him? After all he’d suffered, was it so wrong for him to want to feel human again?

Cloud wanted nothing more than to be selfish, and think about what HE wanted for a change, not what would make everyone else around him happy. 

Gripping the sides of his head, Cloud led out a pained sound. He was fighting between two completely different sides of who he was: the fake Cloud that he’d created as a barrier between himself and reality, and the real Cloud that he had long since tried to bury. 

The real Cloud, who loved rice crackers, and playing video games with Zack. The real Cloud, who may have a serious case of resting bitch face, but loved the feeling of a smile curving his lips. The real Cloud, who was as cat-like in his naturally gentle nature as Zack was in his puppy-like, exuberant nature. 

The real Cloud, who craved affection like someone in the desert craved water.

How long would he be able to keep pushing this Cloud down? 

As the days droned on, and the four men he’d grown so close to continued to extend their kind touches and words, he found it increasingly painful. And when that dam finally broke, and the real Cloud was thrust back up to the surface with the force of a thousand hurricanes, what would happen?

It would assuredly be one of the most painful experiences of his life. He’d be forced to come to terms with the emotions he kept behind closed bars, and forced to feel again. Every painful thing he’d lived through would be waiting for him like a SOLDIER waiting for the enemy on the front lines. It could tear him apart from the inside out. 

However…

It would potentially be one of the most freeing experiences of his life as well. He’d no longer have to pretend he was this emotionless tool. He’d no longer have to ignore the events that made him who he was. He’d no longer have to ignore the voice inside, that told him it was okay to feel, to accept these emotions, to be human. 

Could he still be human, or would he get ripped to shreds before his humanity could be revealed to the world again?

He wanted it. 

He wanted the pain, and he wanted the pleasure. 

He wanted to feel it all until he was a crying mess, and left on his knees from the force of the blow. He wanted this, because he knew he’d have someone there to pick up the pieces for him.

He’d have Zack, with his warm smile and bone-crushing hugs, waiting there with a pack of rice-crackers and another round of PVP games. 

He’d have Angeal, who’d assuredly make him whatever meal he requested, and cuddle the blonde in his lap until the tears stopped flowing. 

He’d have Genesis, who would give him the strength to fight off any mental enemy that tried to tear him down, and teach him that these emotions were something to be embraced. 

And he’d have Sephiroth, who’d caress his face and assure him nothing could harm him whilst the general was on guard. Sephiroth… who could show him how much beauty existed behind pain. 

Cloud hiccupped, and shoved his face into the tops of his knees to try and stifle the sounds of his cries. He was hurting so much as this little sliver of himself tried to breach the surface, and this wasn’t a pain he desired. This was the pain he usually blocked out with the physical agony he craved. This was the pain that hurt on a level so deep, that it made him forget what it felt like to be okay. 

This Cloud was so young -- still that teen entering Midgar for the first time with high expectations for his future. This Cloud was so fragile, that facing these nightmares from his life felt like a knife had been placed in his spine. 

He needed to shove this Cloud back down…

He couldn’t do it…

He had to…

He…

“Cloud?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter song is Hallucinogenics by: Matt Maeson


	24. Animal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sephiroth tends to Cloud after he deals with his emotions, where another layer of Cloud's hardened shell is cracked away. Genesis and Angeal call an old friend in Corel, hoping to warn him of the potential of an upcoming disaster, but the news reveals more bad news. Cloud wakes up and finds Sephiroth's apartment might be haunted. Zack goes about waking up Shinra SOLDIERs, preparing them for their tasks ahead. A look from Reno's perspective reveals something interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is so late guys! I several long shifts at work this week because of the holiday season, so I've been pretty exhausted. I wanted to explain a concept really quickly, called the five stages of grief. Basically they are denial, guilt, anger, depression, and acceptance. People don't always go through them in this same exact order, but it always ends with acceptance, if the cycle does end. You'll see what I mean in the first part of this chapter, but I felt it was a concept I should briefly explain. 
> 
> Also...
> 
> THANKS SO MUCH FOR 20000 READS! wow, I never imagined this story would gain so much traction. I appreciate all of your support, kudos, and comments. <3 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> **WARNINGS: Graphic depiction of mental health problems, feels, creepy moments, mildly vulgar language, mentions of anarchy/uprising.**

Dangerous 

How we toe the line

Push it every time 

My my

Compromised from how you say my name

I see those bright blue eyes

And I want you tied up in my bed

With my name carved deep into your chest

Harmless games went to my head

Now I want you breathing down my neck

Like an animal.

Animal - Jim Yosef x RIELL

Cloud’s breath came to a halt in his throat, as if he’d been trying to swallow and his meal had become lodged on its way down. Instinctively, he lowered his head and hid his overflowing, swollen eyes behind his spiky fringe. The soft brushing of his, now dry, hair, which Sephiroth had taken much care in tending to, only made his chest clench harder with a foreign pain. This pain, however, was something he was becoming bitterly familiar with, and was also becoming increasingly more difficult to ignore. It was a deep agony, brought on by a massive mix of emotions swirling around in his chaotic mind. 

Trying to make it seem as though he had just fallen asleep sitting up, Cloud had to keep the breath held in his throat. If he exerted the force it would take to remove the blockage of air through the passage, he feared it would cause him to start sobbing in front of Shinra’s esteemed general. 

Sephiroth -- the man Cloud had hated for the past several years of his life, the man he’d shared a kiss with just a while before, and the man whom he was beginning to feel an undeniable, and strong surge of emotion for. Perhaps it was that adolescent, hero ideal resurfacing from a time when the only thing Cloud could see was the general in the shine of his eyes. Or maybe the blonde was finally going insane. 

“Are you alright, Cloud?” Sephiroth’s voice filled the expansive living area like a flooding tidal wave, washing over the younger male who was trying to stop the shaking and quivering of his body. 

‘Just go away… PLEASE’ Cloud internally begged, hoping that maybe, for once, the planet would answer his prayers. 

The blonde was beginning to grow light-headed from how long he’d been holding his breath, but that didn’t matter. Even if he did pass out from lack of exhaustion, it would only help make his ‘I fell asleep sitting up,’ story more believable; honestly, losing his consciousness seemed much more appealing with each passing second. 

These men always saw the worst sides of him; constantly drawing his pains and fears out of his open wounds like one did poison. What’s worse is how maddening it was to know, with each passing day, he found himself wanting to relent more and more. Once again, it was a battle between the persona of Cloud Strife, and the real one the persona kept under lock and key. The bars of this prison were thinning and becoming brittle at a swift rate, to the point where they’d be as easy to snap as popsicle sticks fairly soon. 

Footsteps were drawing nearer as the silver-haired general moved in to investigate the blonde’s suspicious silence. Cloud’s mouth opened in something akin to a silent scream, his chest tightening painfully with the whispered sob forcing its way through his thin frame. 

Agony. 

“As an enhanced individual yourself, I’d imagine you know I can hear when you hold your breath,” Sephiroth stated in a mildly humorous tone of voice. 

Even if it wasn’t meant to be condescending, Cloud couldn’t help but bare his teeth into the material of his cloth covered knees. The unseen, yet aggressive expression was partially from indignation, but also from the sheer level of willpower he held onto in order to keep that breath inside. In his panicked haze, the consideration of the general’s enhanced hearing had completely slipped his mind. All the blonde could hear was the rushing of blood past his ears from his elevated blood pressure, and the echoey sounds of Sephiroth’s symphonic voice. 

“Are you in pain?” Sephiroth pressed, his steps growing slower, and more cautious as the distance separating him and the blonde drew shorter. 

Cloud squeezed his legs closer to his body, the tightly drawn band in his stomach threatening to snap at any second. His vision grew hazy, while his lungs screamed, and begged for mercy. The little bit of strength he had remaining in his jellying limbs was reserved for seeking physical comfort in holding himself together. There was something rather euphoric about the way his head swam, and everything lost its focus with his inability to concentrate anymore. Call him childish for holding his breath like a kid having a temper tantrum, but the pure high he felt from the self-inflicted asphyxiation was a beautiful thing. It was raw, pure, and soothing; like he was being lulled to sleep from the sounds of his bloodstream, and continuously beating heart. The tears leaking from his mako-infused eyes were soothing on his heated skin as they came out hot, but cooled with the air-conditioned room. The pain was still there -- complete and powerful like a raging storm -- but this small grace he was able to achieve on the other side of it felt like receiving a hug from a friend after a devastating event. It didn’t get rid of the hurt, but it did make you feel like it would eventually fade with the passing of time. 

If only that were true. 

“You need to breathe, or you are going to lose consciousness,” Sephiroth warned, his voice sounded farther away despite him being nearly directly next to Cloud now. 

‘Good,’ his persona answered for him, because out of everyone else in this world, it knew him best. It knew his pains, and his secrets -- his fears, and his desires. That was its job; it protected him, and kept the sixteen year old Cloud, who’d watched his village burn down and his hero betray him, safe in his cage of comfort. It kept the eighteen year old Cloud, who’d suffered numerous, torturous experiments at the hands of Hojo, safe behind his bars of security. It kept the twenty year Cloud, who’d watched his best friend die protecting him, safe beyond a padlock of repose.

Every trauma he experienced created a new persona, and locked the old one away. It was his constant evolution, which, over the years, had caused him to grow harder, rougher, and more difficult to look at in the mirror. It was perhaps a bit of a corny comparison, but Cloud was much like a geode, with his outer exterior being rough, ugly, and callus, and his very core being pure, bright, and beautiful. But geodes were hard to break open without the right tools, and Cloud’s outer shell -- his most recent persona -- was as thick as the planet itself, and as hard as a diamond. Each persona was a gate leading to the real Cloud, who was hidden with great care. What right did anyone have, but himself, to begin knocking down his fortress of protection? What usefulness did his persona offer, when it was allowing itself to become weakened. 

A gentle touch shocked Cloud out of his inner thoughts. Sephiroth’s palm was chilled against the bare flesh of where his chin met his neck, and it was there that thin fingers began to massage. They were coaxing -- but coaxing whom?

Who are you trying to see? 

The persona of Cloud Strife, or the real one? 

Who do you expect to stare up at you when you have your way?

Who is it you kissed? 

Whom do you care for? 

“Breathe,” Sephiroth’s voice broke through the onslaught of internally drawn questions, gentle, but still commanding in its own strength. 

Cloud still held it in, just waiting for this last bit of consciousness to fade away. In his reduced-oxygen-high, he took great comfort in the touch to his unguarded skin, allowing himself to press down into the palm. 

Instead of offering more of that gentle comfort, however, Sephiroth applied enough force to jerk Cloud’s bleary gaze up to his own. If the general had any thoughts on the mess of tears, snot, and blueing skin, he didn’t show it on his face. Rather, his features were sharper, and more stern; chastising the blonde with eyes alone. 

“I told you to breathe, Cloud,” the general ordered sharply, massaging at Cloud’s jaw in an effort to coax the awaited exhale. 

As if a switch had been flipped inside the younger male’s head, all of his internal despair, and agonzed torment was released in one sobbed breath. His chest heaved in what was the motion of a hiccup, but appeared more like a silent spasm. The threat of passing out was still very much present as the blonde struggled to figure out how to breathe again. There was no rhythm to his intakes and exhales, with some of the air being released in a short gust, while the rest was dispersed in long wheezes. And throughout relearning something as simple as inflating one's lungs, Cloud battled internally and externally to try and stop the sobs, and tears from leaking down his cheeks in thick lines. 

Exposed…

He felt way too exposed before this man. 

This display of emotion was akin to running out into the busy, midday streets naked for the reserved blonde. Yet, even as he fought to stop it, there was something mildly comforting, and refreshing about the shattering of one of his personas. For it was truly gone, leaving Cloud to deal with the aftermath of allowing one of his locked gates to burst open. Bars forged in torment, blood, and tears were now collapsing before his eyes, and stopping it was like trying to stop a force of nature; all you could really do was try to exercise damage control. 

“Slowly, in through your nose,” Sephiroth breathed in through his own nose in demonstration, “and out through your mouth,” he instructed, releasing air from his mouth in a slow stream. Unsurprisingly, the general’s way of saying ‘it’s going to be okay, so calm down,’ was more like ‘listen to me and breathe bitch before I make you.’ Though… this method wasn’t exactly unwelcome by Cloud, who really and truly did begin to slow his breathing. The tone of Sephiroth’s voice was the key; being smooth, deep, and meditatively calming. 

“Are you ready to tell me why you’re so upset?” The silver-haired male quizzed, while his thumb brushed a bit more carefully along the skin of Cloud’s jawline. The watery, doe-eyed look the blonde gave him tugged painfully at Sephiroth’s heartstrings; innocent in its blue, shining sadness, and painful in its honesty. 

Cloud was unguarded. 

Sighing, Sephiroth stood up, his tall frame looming over the younger man sitting on his couch. The general wasn’t particularly one for ‘plopping’ onto furniture like Zack often did, but his collapse onto the cushion next to Cloud wasn’t graceful either. 

The blonde jolted in his seat at the sudden movement from the other male, and made a conscious effort to lean away from the immense heat that poured off of Sephiroth in waves. Someone with the eyes of a snake shouldn’t have the feeling of fire pouring from their veins. Then again, you learned to expect the unexpected when it came to Sephiroth, and, in a way, this made being around the man more interesting. 

Cloud still couldn’t make words form on his tongue as he battled to keep himself somewhat whole. He wanted to be comforted just as much as he wanted to be left alone; different aspects of his old personas, and the real Cloud battling for dominance. Should he let the real Cloud out for a while, or should he lock him back up for fear the shock might break him. 

“I--” Cloud cleared his throat in an effort to cover up the quivering of his voice. He could do this, it’s just words, after all. “I’m fine, just tired.” 

Locking up it is -- protect what you have, lest you feel the bitter sting of losing it completely to the void. 

‘Dry your eyes, keep your mouth closed, and breathe. I’ll take the emotions away; I’ll turn you back to cold stone.’ 

Slowly, Cloud could feel the emotions slipping away again, and the rush of relief was like the strongest of narcotics. He didn’t even have it in him to sigh anymore, as he really, and truly did just feel… exhausted. 

It felt like he was a computer, whose memory was being wiped to reveal a clean slate once more. This didn’t mean those memories were lost forever, and couldn’t be recovered, but from an outer perspective, it was as if they didn’t exist. 

“You deal with things much like I do,” Sephiroth chimed, reminding Cloud that he was still there. 

The blonde, newly composed with his forced shut down, turned his gaze to the silver-haired man. 

“And how is that?” Cloud quizzed coldly, the muscles under his skin moving in tandem to each movement the general made. Should he feel threatened in any way, Cloud would be prepared to defend. 

“Defensiveness is your greatest offense. You push the things that worry you down, and remove any emotions you don’t wish to fear. In the end, all that is left is anger, and a sense of impassivity. The flaw to this defense is not in it’s strength, because it is the strongest shield you could possibly wield. It’s greatest flaw is in its stamina, and its blindside. It can only be held for so long before it weakens you to the point of breaking, and it can be shattered if hit in the right spot,” Sephiroth turned his eerie, glowing, green eyes to meet blue, and gave Cloud, what could only described as, a knowing smirk. “The difference between us enlies in our coping mechanisms, which we use to restrengthen our stamina. I have an outlet, and you, Cloud Strife, are a ticking time bomb. Learning when to use your shield, and when to lower it is the greatest asset you could ever provide for yourself.” 

“And I suppose I’m supposed to lower it for you because we’re so close and all,” Cloud refuted sarcastically, a hint of mocking in his tone. 

These weren’t the things the real Cloud would say. With his newest persona now gone -- the persona who let Cloud deny and ignore everything around him -- this older version was a burning flame of fury and anger. He remembered it all too well from different phases in his life: all of the times he punched brick until he bled, screamed to no one, and grit his teeth so hard he feared his skull would crack. This was the persona born from Sephiroth’s betrayal, where the last one had been the person born from pure denial of all the chaos his existence created. 

“I feel your energy drains so quickly, because you have so many shields weighing you down that you have forgotten what it feels like to even breathe. While I would love to see the man who exists behind them all, it does not have to be me whom you divulge in. I would, however, recommend letting go of some of that weight you carry, otherwise, when the enemy finally reaches you, you’ll be too exhausted to fight.” Sephiroth sounded as if he spoke from experience, and Cloud couldn’t help the smallest simmering of curiosity swelling up inside him. What had this Sephiroth experienced? What made him so different in this world, where he had been a raving lunatic in the previous one? What was this outlet he spoke of?

“The enemy?” Cloud asked, not sure who exactly Sephiroth was referring to as being the enemy out hunting for him. 

“Everyone has one enemy, who is greater than any foe you’d face on Gaia. You can’t see them, yet you envision your perception of them everyday. You hear them when no one else can, and they can single-handedly tear you to pieces before you even realize what went wrong.” 

Was this… some kind of riddle? Between his strange, recurring dreams, and the silver-haired general, Cloud had had enough riddles to last him a lifetime. You know what he learned from these experiences? He really, REALLY hated riddles. He’d always been a simple man of yes or no. It either is, or isn’t. Not things like “well if it is, then it must not be,” or some shit like that. 

“I’m going to bed,” Cloud grumbled, ignoring Sephiroth completely now. The general made hardly any sound when he got up, and left Cloud to traverse a sea of his own fury and hatred. 

How many of these ‘shields’ did he have left? 

How many still weighed him down?

\--------------------

“This is commanding officer, SOLDIER first class, Blakeny, positioned in the west continent, central zone, area 8-11, North Corel. I was instructed by the head of public safety to reach out to commanding officers Hewley and Rhapsodos regarding possible reactor tensions and health hazards in the area,” Ekko Blakeny stated with military grade professionalism. He was a fellow first class SOLDIER in a different squadron, and had been groomed from third, to first alongside both Genesis and Angeal. 

Said SOLDIERs were sitting on opposing couches in Angeal’s living room, with the redhead’s PHS on the coffee table between them. 

“It’s a pleasure to hear from you again, Ekko,” Genesis broke the silence first with some formalities of his own. He had many memories shared with the male speaking through the phone, and was quite fond of him. This didn’t seem like a big deal until you factored in the microscopic number of people Genesis actually admitted to enjoying being around. 

“Hey Gen, it’s been too long; being stuck over here in Corel has its perks, but I gotta say I’m starting to miss Shinra a bit more these days,” the younger first class chuckled light-heartedly into the speaker, the formal tone now forgotten. 

“What perks could there be living in that dump aside from the extra zero on your paycheck?” Angeal joked back, much of his tension leaving his body as he spoke to their old friend. 

“That IS the perk -- well, that, and the room I get over here has a bigger bed.” The rustling of paper could be heard on the other line, as Blakeny chastised one of the newer SOLDIERs about how to properly record the readings on the mako pressure gauges. “I’ll tell you what though, if you guys don’t start sending me some better prepared men, I’M going to start sending ‘em back.”

“perfect, that’s exactly what we want you to do.” Genesis’s tone grew more serious as he began breaching the main topic of their conversation. 

“I’m sorry?” Blakeny deadpanned after a moment of silence. Sure, a lot of the new recruits were ill equipped for the field, but you couldn’t learn about these things sitting behind Shinra’s walls. Eventually, the new SOLDIERs had to be sent out to learn the things they could only understand by doing it themselves. He had meant it as a joke, and not to be taken literally. 

“There are some… concerns, and we need you to start sending back as many men as you can spare. Only keep with you the barest minimum number you need to keep things running smoothly.” Angeal tried to keep his voice level, and contained, however, he couldn’t help but feel the twinges of worry in the back of his mind. The last thing he wanted to do was leave Blakeny there, and if he was able, he’d be sending a helicopter over for the man right now. However, Blakeny was the head of operations at Fort Condor, and any organization that might have existed with him there would be in shambles should he leave. 

“Concerns? What kind of Concerns?” 

Angeal knew the younger SOLDIER would ask questions, even though he hoped he wouldn’t. Even trained professionals felt an increase in stress when they felt their life was in danger, and stress could lead to poor decision making. It was Blakney’s right to know though… out of all the people in Corel, he held the only right. 

“There’s been incidents on the Eastern continent lately -- pretty nasty stuff. It started in Junon where the reactor shut down, then moved to Fort Condor, where people began falling ill. We hope it won’t get worse, and hope even more that it won’t make it over there. If our assumptions are correct though, Corel would be the next target,” Angeal began explaining, the words leaving a bitter taste on his tongue as he forced them out. 

“Wai-- hold on a sec. Reactors are shutting down, and people are getting sick as in a cold, or as in…” 

“People are dying, E,” Genesis revealed before their friend got even more worked up. 

“And nobody thought to say anything to me? What about the CO’s at other reactors, have they been notified yet?” Ekko’s voice had always been rather expressive, and right now it showed appallment, mixed with hints of annoyance. 

“This whole thing has been kept on a need to know basis, with very few Shinra employees being made aware. If it does spread to the western continent, our calculations say it will hit Corel, and then Gongaga. The last to be affected will probably be Nibelheim, so we’ll notify their CO should the need arise. Right now, we’re concerned about you, and the people and combatants in Corel,” Genesis chastised hardly, trying to stress the immediate problems they had, rather than focusing on the potential ones that might arise later. 

“Alright, I get it. What sort of abnormalities am I keeping my eyes open for?” 

Both Genesis and Angeal could tell Ekko wanted to keep pressing the issue, but relented in the face of current danger. He too had sense enough to understand when attention could only be focussed on one problem at a time, and right now, the possibility of danger in Corel was a VERY big problem. 

“Alright, pay attention so that you remember this,” Angeal warned, “you need to keep your focus on your men, and the reactor's mechanics. If you see a problem with the reactor, anything out of the ordinary, then you evacuate. If anyone starts experiencing any stange symptoms, especially a sudden, unexplained nosebleed, then you evacuate. If anything, and I really mean anything, strikes you as odd, or gives you a bad feeling, then you evacuate.”

“You’ve always had good instincts, use them,” Genesis chimed in right at the end of Angeal’s speech. 

“What about the reactor? It’s my job to keep it running.” There was hesitancy in Ekko’s voice, and the same thing that made him a great SOLDIER, could also end up getting himself killed. Everything their friend did, he saw through until the end; he’d never been one to give up halfway. 

“Trust me, we know from experience that once that reactor shuts down, nothing can turn it back on, and whatever comes after will be a living hell. I’d rather not see you on your deathbed before you even hit twenty-five. Not if I can help it.” Angeal’s eyes grew darker as he spoke, the images of all the past disasters this infection had caused playing in his mind like a sick horror movie. 

“Just--” Genesis was about to speak, but the line beeped from lost connection.

“Dammit!” Genesis cursed, picking up his phone and aggressively pressing buttons to try and fix his connection with Corel. He was about to throw his phone across the room when a notification popped up on the screen. 

“Ang,” he waved his hand to get the raven’s attention. “Turn the Midgar news channel on.” 

Angeal gave him a weird look, but complied with the odd request nonetheless. None of them had ever been particularly fond of the news, especially when a quarter of it was lies, and another quarter was talking about Seph and them like they were a walking weapon or desert — whichever they went with usually depended on the day. And well, the other half was just pessimistic bullshit they liked to pull out of their asses over at the news station, just to incite worry. 

A pretty newscaster with her hair done up in a tight bun, and her makeup painted up like she was going to walk the runway on Loveless avenue flashed onto the screen. As most people on the news channel did when they were about to give grim news, her appearance was stern like a teacher getting ready to scold their students. Her lips were pressed firmly together, while her eyes were hard, and shineless. 

“Following a recent notice of aircraft moving in and out of Midgar, many people have started to wonder what is going on behind the walls of Shinra. No news has been released from the esteemed company, or its president at this time, however, a few people have come forward with guesses of their own. Stay tuned until the end, as we have one individual who says they were a witness to a calamity that took place in Fort Condor. For privacy and safety reasons, this individual has asked to remain anonymous.”

Both Genesis and Angeal visibly paled at the last couple sentences. For once, they sat with bated breath before the news channel, waiting for what was to come. On one hand, they knew Shinra had full power to stop the broadcast before it could get to this individual, who supposedly was there at Fort Condor. There were a couple of problems with this tactic though. Firstly, it would only serve to increase the people’s already rising suspicions over whether or not something is going on. Secondly, they could stop it today, but what about tomorrow? Or the next day? It was impossible to turn the news off completely, and eventually the words of the person they interviewed would get out anyways. Humans were tenacious like that -- they just loved to hippity hop their way right into danger and panic. 

“I swear, I saw them airlift a fleet of body bags into the Shinra building! I used to work in a morgue, ya’ see, and mark my words, I wouldn’t forget the looks of one of them if I was half-blind and senile.” The first man interviewed, an elderly man with hardly any teeth left in his mouth, stated, waving his hand around in the air with a look of disgust on his face. 

“My cousin, she lives right over in Junon, and I haven’t been able to get a hold of her for weeks. My husband works in the communication towers, and he said all connection with Junon has been lost for a while now. Some Shinra officer told him it was just a temporary construction project in the reactor, but I’ve been seeing an awful lot of Rufus Shinra walking in and out of his daddy’s building. With him practically living over in Junon the past couple of years, I find it hard to believe he’d come home now, when he should be overseeing this so-called ‘construction,” the next person, a woman in her late twenties or so, spoke. There was both concern, and accusation in her voice, and she did little to make her views on this “great Shinra conspiracy,” hidden. 

“Shinra isn’t going to be able to keep this hidden for much longer. The people of Midgar may be nosy little pests at the best of times, but they are perceptive when it comes to the potential for danger,” Genesis mumbled, casting a quick glance in Angeal’s direction. 

“The feeling is the same as when the last war started… the secrets, and the lies. They know something is coming, and like the rest of us, they just want to be prepared.” Angeal’s gaze dropped to the floor as he pondered over his own words. In truth, he had sympathy for the people living above and below the plate; nobody liked being kept in the dark. At the same time, there was no way to predict how the people would act to the news of a threat, the likes of which they’d never seen before. It could go over well, with everyone banding together to help one another through hard and uncertain times. Or it could go terribly wrong, and cause a divide between the people, who would sooner trample their neighbors in their blind panic. Unpredictable outcomes were not in Shinra’s interests, and they’d do what they believed would risk the least amount of chaos. 

“And now, we have an audio recording of the anonymous individual, who wished to come forward with his alleged, first-hand experience in what can only be described as a living nightmare in Fort Condor.” The News anchor nodded to whoever was behind the camera, and the screen quickly turned to the digitized presentation of a masked audio-recording. 

“Firstly, I’d like to pass on a message to the families whose loved ones were working in Fort Condor. If they have not returned home to you by now, then presume them to have returned to the life stream. The events that I saw take place in Fort Condor were nothing short of a hell on Gaia, and Shinra is full of skeevy bastards trying to hide the truth from you. Your government has done nothing but try to cover their asses since the first occurrences of a problem in Junon. So I’m here to deliver to you the truth--” there was slight scuffling on the other end, before a distinctly different, but still masked voice chimed in. “the planet is sick yo!” The personality of whoever decided to force their way into the limelight was rather… interesting, to say the least. The original speaker cleared their throat, before continuing. “Both Junon, and Fort Condor reactors have shut down, and over a dozen men died in Fort Condor due to a violent illness. It is an illness, which causes your blood to leak black from every pore in your body, until you choke on it, and succumb to an agonizing death. It is spreading, and Shinra would rather cover this up until they can think of a way to pass their blame onto someone else. Do not believe what you are told, and do not allow yourselves to be fooled into a false sense of security. Turn your hatred, and blame now to Shinra, and may the planet spare you from such a fate.” A faint buzzing could be heard after the individual stopped speaking, before the screen flashed back to the reporter. 

“There is no word yet as to whether or not these accusations are true, but many have already begun planning to rally outside of Shinra’s building, until their questions have been answered. Next up…” Angeal switched the television off, thrusting the room into an eerie silence. 

This was bad. Soon, Shinra would have hoards of angry people knocking on their door, and using military force to get them to disperse would only make matters worse. 

“The president is going to have to make a statement soon, whether it be to deny these claims, or to offer some kind of truth,” Genesis stated, looking to Angeal with concerned features. The redhead was worried, that much was clear in the stressed lines of his usually delicate features. 

“The account was so accurate, and detailed in its description of Junon, and Fort Condor, that whoever it was had to have been at both locations during the time of the reactors shutting down. There were, from the sounds of it, two people -- a possible partnership -- so we need to make it our top priority to try and locate them before they can cause anymore trouble,” Angeal spoke carefully, and slowly, trying to compile his thoughts as he went. 

Genesis nodded his agreeance, tilting his head to look out Angeal’s massive window. The curtains were pulled back, revealing a sky full of dark Clouds. It was going to rain soon, so hopefully, if nothing else, they’d have a small grace period before the rioting began. There were many ways this thing could end, and none of them seemed like an optimal circumstance, but they’d been effectively backed into a corner by a single recording. 

“New game: Find the rat” The redhead stated bitterly, his head tilting to the side when the first raindrop hit the window pane. 

\----------------

Cloud jolted awake when a loud crash of thunder caused the windows and walls of the apartment to rattle. As the rolling rumble quieted down, he could hear the sounds of hushed voices speaking in Sephiroth’s room. A small stream of light came from the cracked door, but somehow, it did little to quell the nerves the vaguely sinister scene promoted inside him. 

The blonde sat up, doing his best to remain as quiet as possible, and jerked back a bit when a shadow passed by the ajar entrance. With the whispers, and the darkness combined, Cloud thought back to his memories of traversing the train graveyard with Tifa and Aerith. While not all of the ghostly beings had tried to kill him, a vast majority had, and it was enough for him to never want to come into contact with any spirit, ever again. Still, he wasn’t about to just roll over and go back to sleep like nothing was happening, even if going towards the creepy thing was how every horror movie, ever, started. 

Swinging his legs over the side of the couch, Cloud ignored his sleep-stiffened muscles and stood up. He nearly decided to say fuck it and go crawl back into Genesis’s bed when Sephiroth’s door was shut. Two scenarios were playing out in his mind right now: either Sephiroth had a late night visitor, which meant Cloud probably didn’t want to open that door, or Sephiroth had ghosts, which meant he REALLY didn’t want to open that door. Unless, of course, that outlet Sephiroth mentioned earlier was the general talking to himself in the middle of the night, which would be as humorous as it would be horrifying. Far be it from Cloud to deny the man of his private midnight pep talks, but he wasn’t about to let it mess with his sleep. 

Slowly, Cloud took cautious steps forwards so as not to alert who, or whatever was on the other side of that closed door. Instinctively, Cloud reached behind his back to grab his sword, but realized it was still in Angeal’s apartment. Damnit, he was really out of practice if he was forgetting to leave his sword by his side. As a replacement, Cloud opted for grabbing a broom that leaned against the wall by the kitchen. Even something as simple as a plastic handle could inflict serious damage when enough force was applied. 

Swallowing, Cloud continued on his path until he stood right in front of Sephiroth’s door, his hand poised over the handle, ready to throw it open. He didn’t even get the chance to grab it though, when it swung open on its own. Cloud let out a shout of surprise, as did the person on the other side of the door, who obviously hadn’t been expecting to see someone standing in waiting. Cloud lashed out with the broom handle, thonking it over the head of the individual he still hadn’t fully registered yet. 

“Cloud, stop, it's me!” A familiar voice called out to the blonde, while calloused hands tried to stop the blows to a raven head. 

“Angeal?!” Cloud breathed heavily, his face flush from adrenaline, and his previously anxious state. “What the fuck are you doing in Sephiroth’s room?” He asked accusingly. 

“What are you doing standing in front of the door, you little demon!” Genesis chimed in, a hand placed on his head as if the whole event had caused him a stress headache. He too looked like Cloud had scared the soul right out of his body, and the only one who looked unfazed was Sephiroth, who stood behind Genesis and Angeal. 

“I thought…!” Cloud stopped himself short, not wanting to say he thought there was a ghost in Sephiroth’s room, seeing as how anyone who never saw one themselves would think him childish, or possibly even crazy. “I thought someone broke in,” the blonde finished lamely, the volume of his voice having grown much quieter. 

“If someone had the balls to break into the apartment of the silver general, aside from all of the security they’d have to pass on their way up here, then they deserve to take off with whatever they want,” the redhead grumbled, taking his hand off his brow so he could grab the broom from Cloud with a glare. The blonde growled in retaliation when Genesis thonked him on the head too, though admittedly much softer than how Cloud had literally been pummeling Angeal moments before. Continuing with this thonking chain, Sephiroth hit Genesis on the back of the head with an open palm for talking about someone stealing his possessions so carefree. 

“You never answered my question, why are you all piled in Sephiroth’s room in the middle of the night?” Cloud repeated, rubbing away the dull ache at the top of his skull. 

The room went silent for a moment, as a serious tension began to develop, completely blanketing the previously light atmosphere. 

“What’s happened?” Cloud asked, knowing full well something must have taken place for them all to share the same, grim look. 

“Someone revealed what’s been going on with the reactors on live television, and now the whole building is being woken up early to prepare for a riot on Shinra. Worse yet is we don’t even know who is responsible for the information leak.” Genesis crossed his arms over his chest as he spoke, glancing to the side with a scowl of disapproval, that said he was itching to fight someone. 

“So you have a rat,” Cloud nodded his head, trying to think up a solution to their problem. He’d dealt with many people who’d divulged his information in the past, just to make a quick buck. There was even one time in Edge, when a man had been paid off to steal Cloud’s sunglasses. Those closest to him knew he was a SOLDIER, but his eyes tended to freak people out. When they saw what was hidden beneath shaded lenses, many people saw him as a monster more than a person -- not everyone, but enough. “Well, you know it has to be a Shinra employee, and you know it has to have been someone who was at the reactors at the time of the events. Have you determined whether or not it is a vengeful action, or someone being paid to stir the pot up a bit and cause chaos?” 

“Two rats, actually, by the looks of things. From what I can tell, it seems like it's either an action of revenge against Shinra, or, they could potentially have a superiority complex, where they feel it is their duty to the people to share the truth. Either way, both types are dangerous,” Angel answered, and he was right. 

Someone with a bloodthirst for revenge would often bend over backwards, and do whatever they could to strike their target where it hurts. Someone with a superiority complex was unpredictable, and were generally good at weaseling their way into stealing information. Both types had one weakness though. 

Cloud crossed his arms and cocked his head to the side, his lips pressing together thoughtfully in an almost-pout. It was an action that looked very… young on the blonde. 

“Both types, whether they be vengeful, or feel themselves superior, are generally sloppy. They’re tenacious, but because of their strong desire to wound, or divulge information to the public, they often leave behind traces. Your best bet is going to be trying to reverse engineer the voices in the recording, or, if that doesn’t work, bring in everyone who was present at both Junon, and Fort Condor. The one responsible will show signs of pride, no matter which agenda they fall under. They’ll be pompous, and arrogant, and more than likely will become aggravated if antagonized. If THAT doesn’t work, well, then you’re dealing with much craftier minds, who probably have a different objective in mind. In which case, finding them will be much harder,” Cloud instructed, biting his bottom lip due to some concerns he was keeping to himself. 

“You have… some experience in this sort of thing, Cloud?” Angeal asked, trying to mask the dumbfounded look that looked rather comical on his sharp, masculine features. 

“Yes, and no,” Cloud wobbled his head back and forth with the opposing responses. Sure, he had experience in this, but most of it was gained during his time working AGAINST Shinra, not FOR them. The fact that he was, in a roundabout way, working for this company right now left a sour taste in his mouth. 

“Would you be able to help us try and reverse the recording then?” Genesis asked, a hopeful look in his eyes when he considered Cloud might be the master key to this whole thing. 

“You don’t want me to help you,” Cloud shook his head, avoiding eye contact with the other three men.

“Why not?” Sephiroth spoke, though the silver-haired man was already fairly certain he knew the answer. 

“Because if I recognize the voice as someone I know, well… Then I’d have to lie to you.”

\----------------------

Zack was currently in the hallway at Shinra, which contained the barracks for all third class SOLDIERs. He went door by door, and gave a few sharp pounds to alert the combatants inside. 

“Up and at-um, we’ve got work to do!” Zack chirped to the men inside the last door at the end of the hall. People closer to the front of the hallway were already wandering out of their rooms, rubbing their eyes, with their uniforms messily thrown on. The men in the room he’d just awoken were groaning, and a few loud bangs could be heard as they began rolling out of bed. 

Zack did have some sympathy for them since it was the middle of the night, and many of them had been through long and grueling workout sessions the day before. However, this was what it meant to be in the military; problems didn’t always wait until you’d had your morning coffee to show their faces. 

Once the hall was full of the exhausted third class SOLDIERs, Zack smiled warmly yet sternly at all of them, and stood at the front of the crowd. 

“Because of allegations made about the Shinra Electric Power Company, we anticipate city-wide rioting will start in retaliation. Until president Shinra has decided what he wants to say to the public regarding these allega-- Fuck this,” Zack grumbled like a grouchy puppy, tossing the notecard Angeal had handed him, regarding what he should say, over his shoulder. “Alright, this is about the fourth time I’ve read that thing, and I really don’t feel like giving the same long, boring speech again. To sum it up, we’re going to need everyone, whether it be third class, first class, or infantry to pull their weight today. The streets are about to get rowdy, and the building needs to be locked down. I’ll be giving each of you assigned locations, and tasks to fulfill. If you are hungry, or need to piss, you’ve got ten minutes to get it down the hatch and out ya’ slacks. Any questions?” Zack asked, the same smile still pressed into his features as he took in the stupid way the combatants blinked at him. 

“I don’t have your assignment papers yet, however, I can say most of you will be out in sectors seven and three, or holding the guard line outside the Shinra building. A select few with exceptional skill will be accompanying our second class air units, while one or two might tag along with some of our first class troops on an intel gathering objective to try and sniff out who is behind the information slip. Whatever your task, do it to the best of your ability. Okay?” When no other sound was uttered outside of a cough in the awkwardly silent hall, Zack looked down at his watch.

“Great, your ten minutes starts now.” Before he even pressed the button to start the timer, the hallway was like a scattering hoard of ants, with half of the men running to the bathroom, and the other half running to be first in line at the mess hall. 

Zack stuck his hands in his pockets, and began walking to the assignment office, where he’d pick up the file full of assignment papers. His brows pressed together when he felt a shiver up his spine; a shiver that said his instincts were trying to alert him of something being amiss. He turned around just in time to see the silhouette of someone running out the stairwell door. The person had been thin, and roughly around Cloud’s height, and they definitely hadn’t been wearing a SOLDIER uniform, meaning there was no reason they should be on this floor. Zack turned around to go investigate, when a hand tapping his shoulder had him wrapping his own around the hilt of his sword. 

The young third class stepped back quickly, his hands raised up in a surrendering gesture. 

“M-Mr. Fair, I just wanted to a-ask if there were any other bathrooms on this hall, the one by the barracks are full,” the male stuttered, his wide eyes glued to the shiny point of Zack’s large blade, which stuck out from behind the first class. 

Zack sighed, releasing his grip on the weapon, before he began walking past the boy. The third class let out a sigh of relief over the fact that he was still alive, but also looked dejected because he didn’t receive an answer. 

Zack tossed a temporary key card over his shoulder before he turned out of the hall, glancing back at the younger male. 

“That’ll get you onto floor sixty, one of the first class floors. I haven’t woken them up yet, so the bathrooms should be good,” the black-haired man stated, before disappearing up the stairs. 

Whoever that man had been, he was long gone by now. 

\-------------------

Reno slipped quietly into the conference room after exiting the stairwell. He breathed a sigh of relief at the sudden feeling of security that washed over him, after having thought for sure Fair was going to catch him. Things were going as planned so far, and the building was already roaring to life under the pressure of an immediate threat. 

“Took you long enough,” a silky, yet snarky voice stated, drawing Reno’s attention to the white-haired man who sat at the table where they usually held big meetings. There was always something arrogant about Ark, but also a certain sense of trust and admiration to be held. Honestly, Reno had had a more compatible partnership since he’d worked with Rude -- not the Rude that existed here though, for Reno had no choice but to keep a mountain of secrets from him. 

“I had to take the long way, thought a SOLDIER might’ve seen me,” Reno answered, glancing down at the cup of coffee Ark sipped from. 

“How do things look out there after our little leak?” Ark quizzed, his head turning to the door where footsteps ran by. 

“Well, as we expected, it’s pure chaos, I still don’t know if this will do more harm than good though,” Reno moaned out, plopping down on a chair across the table from Ark, before putting his feet up on the polished wooden surface. 

“Shinra will clean this up quickly enough, so there should be minimal damage, and with things so excitable, and defenses up, Hojo won’t dare try anything until the place has calmed down. He’s actually quite… upset right now,” Ark huffed out a laugh, taking in another mouthful of his steaming beverage. 

“And you’re sure it’s Cloud he’s after? Not that I don’t care about whatever other poor sap he might be targeting but, uh, yah I don’t care.” Reno tossed his head back to stare up at the fluorescent lights, his eyes narrowing when one of them twitched with what was hopefully just a small power surge. 

“Positive. Why do you care so much what happens to Cloud anyways?” Ark asked, eyeing the redhead critically. 

“Why do YOU care? I’ve known him for years, and despite his piss poor attitude, I’ve shed blood at his side, and he’s covered my ass more times than I care to admit. I just figure it’s time I return the favor.” Reno purposefully left out the bit about him and Cloud being the only two people in this world who both of them could actually rely on with deep secrets. Deep secrets, like how the fuck they ended up in this world in the first place. 

“My agenda has always been pretty simple, I saw Cloud, and wanted to help him, and piss Hojo off in the process. That about sums it up,” Ark responded, shrugging his shoulders nonchalantly. 

“Simple agenda for a simple man,” Reno teased, but Ark simply smiled, and made no move to deny the claim, for he really was a man of a simple drive. 

“All that’s left for us to do is play our part. You go play brave little warrior with the turks for Shinra, and I’ll go play subservient assistant to the professor. With any luck, we’ll manage to get out of this little charade alive.” 

Reno scoffed, because clearly Ark wasn’t aware yet that killing someone like Reno was like trying to kill a cockroach; in other words, it was impossible. If things went south, he was prepared to grab Cloud, duck, and run. The blonde had survived being wanted by Shinra for years not too long ago, surely he could survive it again, because Cloud was like him. 

They may get damaged, but they were both impossible to kill.


	25. Let's Go To War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A look into the events of Shinra's efforts at keeping the public in line.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, I'm incredibly tired, so this note won't be too long, the biggest warning here is a bit of violence, and some emotional turmoil ^^ I would normally drone on for days in these notes, but I'm surviving off of liek 2 hours of sleep right now, so I really gotta roll over before I collapse. Thank you for your support, and I'll reply to your comments soon. <3

"I don't know what you had in mind  
But here we stand on opposing sides

Let's go to war  
Let's go to war

We arm ourselves with the wrongs we've done  
Name them off one by one"

Let's go to war

Let's go to war - Nothing More

\--------------

“Cloud!” Zack waved down the blonde who was walking from Sephiroth’s apartment, to Angeal’s. 

The SOLDIER had just finished waking up and briefing all of the halls he’d been assigned to, and had come upstairs to get the rest of his gear together before he took his own position. Today, Zack was responsible for instructing the line of officials outside, who would be holding back the crowds attempting to storm the building. Because he had a, as Sephiroth put it, more down to earth, mundane appeal to people, the general was hoping Zack might be able to talk some common sense into the rioters. 

Slim chance of that, as people who were involved in riots for the concern of their safety often didn’t think with a level head, but hey, it didn’t hurt to try. 

Having heard his name being called, Cloud turned to face Zack with a seemingly impassive gaze. If the black-haired male wasn’t mistaken though, he could’ve sworn there was the slightest brightening of Cloud’s eyes. 

“What are you up to?” The older male quizzed as he came to a slowing stop next in front of the blonde. 

“I was--” Cloud stopped short, his cheeks taking on the tiniest bit of a warmer tone. 

Zack blinked down at his friend, his head tilting to the side curiously because, now that he thought about it, Cloud was supposed to be staying with Sephiroth another night. Unless the blonde had gotten kicked out because of today’s chaos, there was no reason he should be heading to Angeal’s place. 

“Aw, did you miss Ang?” Zack teased, ruffling Cloud’s hair after judging the younger male to be in a relatively decent mood for doing so. 

“No!” Cloud refuted, shoving the appendage off of his head so he could fix the spiky tufts back into place. “Angeal just has better food!” After the words left snarling lips, Cloud seemed to instantly regret having opened his mouth at all. 

Cloud’s frustrations only grew when Zack began laughing at the admittance, pale cheeks turning from a light dusting of pink, to a full flame with both his anger and embarrassment. 

“I’m glad you have a better appetite -- Gaia knows you need to eat more -- but don’t you think your timing for getting a snack is a bit off?” Zack asked through his panted chuckles, using a fist to wipe away some of the tears that had formed in his eyes. 

“Because of the shit that’s happening around Shinra? Not my problem, and it’s not like I can do anything to help, even if I wanted to,” Cloud grumbled, leaving the whole ‘I’m still a hostage,’ thing hanging in the air. 

“Someone’s rather grouchy today,” Genesis’s voice chimed in. The redhead glanced up at the black-haired SOLDIER, and Cloud as he fiddled with one of the buckles on his gear. Genesis wore his newly replaced, red, leather combat coat, with pauldrons strapped securely over both shoulders. The metal gleamed brilliantly under the bright, fluorescent hall lights. The standard first class uniform hid underneath the covering, and was full of more straps than usual; obviously so that it could hold more gear. A dim, multicolored glow could be seen coming from a pouch on the redhead’s waist where he kept his materia. All in all, with his soft, almost beautiful features, proud presence, and battle-ready form, Genesis looked like a war god. 

It was rare for Cloud to see the four firsts fully armored up, and he just now realized Zack was wearing more armor and gear packs than usual as well. The blonde wouldn’t say it was a bad sight persay -- on the contrary, the image of the two men standing before him made his body heat up -- but it did promote some feelings of apprehension inside him. The word ‘war’ was hissing in his mind, and caused flashes of his own war-filled past to play before his eyes. Even if this was just controlling a public dispute, any number of things could go wrong; lives could be lost today. Tifa, Barret, Biggs, Jessie: they all had been civilians of said public, and they’d taken out more than a few Shinra employees during their fights against the electric company. It just goes to show you don’t know exactly what you’re up against until you really jump into the fray. 

“Don’t let your guard down just because you’re up against civilians, some of the best warriors I ever knew were, by Shinra’s standards, average people,” Cloud warned. Even if he wasn’t helping to reverse engineer the voice recording that had caused this mess, his conscience wouldn’t allow him to just pretend this wasn’t ‘his problem.’ Sure, he could go on and on for days about how it wasn’t, and give a hefty list of reasons why, but when all was said and done he’d always see the wellbeing of others as being his problem.

“I do believe that is the first time I’ve heard you voice genuine concern for our safety,” Genesis smirked, after finally managing to adjust his gear properly. 

“Believe what you want.” Cloud turned his head to avoid eye contact as he spoke, trying his best to get his emotions, and, for whatever reason, his constant aggravation under control. 

Zack sat back and watched the exchange with amusement, but also contemplation. Everyone at Shinra had a job today, and didn’t escape the black-haired male’s notice that maybe one of the reasons Cloud was so frustrated, was because he was the sitting duck on the sidelines. Zack knew that if everyone in the building were preparing for a fight, and Sephiroth ordered him to sit and stay, he’d lose his mind. 

“Hey Spike, wanna come down and help me hold the line today?” Zack asked before he could stop himself. He could feel Genesis’s glare piercing the back of his skull, but it wasn’t like it was the redhead’s decision. Besides, Zack was the one who’d signed the documentation making him responsible for the blonde, and his actions. Other than Sephiroth, the younger SOLDIER was probably the only other person who had the right to make such decisions. 

Cloud’s reaction to the uttered words was instantaneous. Zack watched as his head jerked up, pupils dilated, plump lips parted, and lean muscles tensed, and if the black-haired male didn’t know better, he’d mistake Cloud’s excitement for arousal rather than the desire to join the fight. It’d been a good while now since he’d seen that much life and fire ignite behind cerulean eyes, and it made Zack want to give Cloud whatever the blonde wanted, even the very flesh off his bones. 

“You can, if you’d like,” Zack offered again, and gave a gentle smile as he did so. 

No words were needed on Cloud’s end for the SOLDIER to know what the answer to his question would be. When Cloud finally managed to regain his composure though, his mildly timid nod made Zack’s heart swell with appreciation. 

Genesis sighed, and rubbed a hand over his forehead in frustration. Cloud hadn’t been cleared through the proper channels needed to determine whether or not someone was ready for combat. Sure, there had been sparring here and there, and holding the line might prove to be just listening to people shout angry profanities all day. It still didn’t change the fact that there was a mountain of things that could go wrong in a situation such as this one. There is a reason why there are protocols set in order -- mental evaluations, strength tests, technique assessments -- before someone can set foot into a potentially dangerous situation. 

Genesis was far from being a tattler though, and he still held a tiny bit of anger with Sephiroth after their argument the other day. He wasn’t about to go running to the general so he could rat Zack out, but he also wasn’t too keen on the younger male’s decision. Images of Cloud becoming overwhelmed by being suddenly thrust back into a life of fighting flashed before his closed eyes. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust the blonde, and he knew better than any of them the magnitude of Cloud’s strength. That same strength could become a detriment at times though, especially if you didn’t have the mental capabilities to back it up. Genesis could only imagine what a past Cloud had been like, but he also knew the younger’s current mental instability was mostly their fault. In trying to heal him, they also weakened the mental barriers that gave Cloud his faux strength. This wasn’t like Cloud walking into an altercation as he had been months ago; this was new, and highly unstable ground he would be fighting on. 

This was going to be an interesting day. 

\------------------

Sephiroth stood before the hoard of multiple platoons, a clipboard in hand as he prepared to read off proper assignment locations. The papers Zack had handed out made sure the men grouped in their correct squadron, and provided a basic rundown of what their tasks might entail. Now it was Sephiroth’s job to send them off to the right location. 

“Squad 7, 20, and 24,” Sephiroth read off, listening to the loud shouts of confirmation from the groups, letting him know he’d been heard. “You are stationed above plate today in sector four, any incidents of violence, or any signs of rioting are to be shut down immediately. Try to avoid exerting too much force, as our job today is not to harm our own people, but to keep the peace. Try to keep arrests minimal; if we go around arresting everyone who creates a problem, we’ll have cells full of civilians, and not enough time to process them all.” When Sephiroth finished the order, he only waited long enough for the shouts of ‘yes sir,’ to subside, before moving to the next assignments. 

“Squad 3, 5, 9, 14, 15, and 16” To most, these numbers might seem completely random, however, everyone at Shinra knew exactly how the platoons were structured. 

The lower the number, the lower the experience and skillset of the employees. Squads 1-9 were infantry, squads 10-19 were third class SOLDIERs, squads 20-29 were second class, squads 30-39 were first class, and squad 40 were the first class Elites. Squadron 40 was the one and only group that didn’t operate together, but rather, they were the ones responsible for keeping things running. They kept communication throughout the field through the handheld coms system, and were the group all the other squadrons fell back on. There was, after all, a reason why the first class elites had the biggest fan base, and that was because they were the strongest men Shinra had to offer. It was these men -- Angeal, Genesis, and Zack -- Sephiroth took great pride in, but also feared for the most for reasons not disclosed to the public. 

“You are all assigned under Zack Fair’s command holding the line outside of the Shinra building. More troops may be circled in or out as needed, but it is your responsibility to keep people from damaging the building, themselves, or your fellow combatants. Force may only be exerted when absolutely necessary, but let us hope they will not try their luck against a small army. Again, your task is not to harm civilians, but to protect, is that clear?” The problem with younger, less experienced men, like the ones you see in infantry and third class, is they are trigger happy, testosterone fueled fanatics. Their hero complex drove all of them to work hard, but tended to lead to them overcompensating. Especially with lack of experience, they are also more prone to exerting more force than necessary for the sake of self-preservation. Balance has not yet been acquired for them to fully grasp when to fight, when to fall back, and when to simply control a situation. This is why Zack’s role became imperative to the entire operation on the line, because his command will help to ensure these squads only do what is necessary. 

“Squad 17, 18, 21, 23, 25, and 30.” As Sephiroth gave a brief review of each squadron, and their skills, he was able to dish out roles off the top of his head. It was true he had assignment sheets made by Lazard, however, the director of SOLDIER only knew so much from behind his posh oak desk. The blonde was a great man, but that didn’t change the fact that there were some things only first hand experience could provide. Therefore, Sephiroth did his best to swap some squads around as he saw fit. 

“These squadrons are responsible for air support today, led by Tseng, and ground operated by Genesis Rhapsodos. Tseng’s helicopter will head the initial lift off of the group in V formation, and will split off approximately five miles out in spreading succession. One air support group will be given to each sector, negating sector six for obvious reasons. Some of you will be on the rooftops as guiding beacons, receiving orders directly via mobile com from Genesis. Whether you are on the ground or in the air, make sure you listen carefully to each order you are given. Many casualties can come from aircraft interference, and if anyone is seen going outside of orders, they will be sent back to our base of operations immediately.”

The silver-haired general continued giving out assignments, working his way around the easier, and mid-level tasks, until he finally got to the support, and higher skill assignments. 

“Squad 1, 4, 8, 13, and 22.” The second class squad in this group was the overseeing squad, who would keep the lower squads in line. This was important for a task force of this particular assignment, as the support groups were the backbone of any major operation. “These are the on site medical units. It is your job, should we require it, to provide basic in-field care to any wounded individuals. You flag with the air support units to have anyone who needs further medical care airlifted back to base operations. Red flag means airlift needed, blue flag means all is well. Your task can make or break our entire plan should things go wrong, so in some ways, you keep order in the field. Communication is imperative, so the head of each squad will have a mobile com for the sake of being able to contact Angeal Hewley, who is the main information passing vein today between all squadrons. And finally--” Sephiroth looked up to make sure he still had everyone’s attention after having spoken for so long. 

“Squad 31, 34, and 39 -- you all will be working with me. Our job is simple in words, but not so much so in practice. The whole reason we are in this disastrous situation to begin with is because of one or two of our own, who decided to let allegations slip to the media. Whether or not these allegations are true or not is not any of our concern. It is our objective to search out the individuals responsible for speaking to the media through mass investigation. If anyone has any questions about their assignments, positions, or anything else pertaining to operations today, ask now.”

The room was eerily silent as combatants prepared their minds for the battle ahead. It was just public dispute and rioting, but in the face of the civilian masses… In short, an ant by itself is strong by its own rights, but not strong enough to defeat a hungry animal. Put the entire colony to work, however, and the hoard of stinging ants could kill a full grown man. All hoped for the same thing; that this would simply be about keeping the masses calm, and re-establishing order. All it took was one act of violence to start a domino effect though, which could easily lead to casualties. 

But hope they still did, as they took up arms and prepared to head into the front lines -- their own home. 

\-------------------

Cloud leaned over and laced up his boots, before standing and stretching in his modified uniform. It’d been so long since he’d worn it, that he’d almost forgotten how comforting the metal, and leather felt against his skin. From being in Zack’s closet for so long, it carried some of the older male’s scent, and made Cloud feel both comforted, and on edge. Even if this wasn’t necessarily a battle, marching out into any sort of dispute with his friend made his nerves go haywire. 

‘History repeating itself? That’s what you’re worried about? Pathetic.’ Cloud’s inner voice had been going crazy lately, always there when he diverged off of the path he was supposed to tread. He needed to be cold, and unfeeling; that was the only way to ensure his own sanity. Right? Truthfully, being this slate of ice and bitter stone was the only way to ensure the infuriated voice inside stayed quiet. 

‘You don’t need to think, just quiet down and let me take care of everything.’

“Shut up,” Cloud mumbled, rubbing his temples with his frustrations. Observing himself in the mirror, the blonde saw that his face appeared flushed, and mildly pained with the force he now had to exert in order to keep himself under control. His experience last night with Sephiroth had been way too close, but the damage was still there, and irreversible. The more these men he’d grown increasingly close to pressed him, the more he wanted to give. It was like squeezing out sauce from a bottle. Cloud’s bottle had been carefully sealed with an inner tab, and exterior plastic. After last night, however, that layer of plastic on the outside had been peeled away. As a result, the more he was squeezed, the closer the bottle grew to simply exploding. 

‘You just need to press back, that’s what I’m here for, Cloud,’ the sinister voice inside purred. This persona was dark, antagonizing, and full of anger and hatred. If his previous persona had been bred from the desire to fade into a life of numbness and denial, this one must’ve been thrust forth from the fires of deep resentment. It was this very voice which had made him a ticking time bomb of rage and attitude during his earlier days in avalanche. He had wanted nothing to do with anyone, or anything, and his only motivator to help others had been a hefty pouch of gil. This Cloud was not the one he wanted, but then, he didn’t really have much of a choice, did he? This was what he had to work with, and unless he allowed this personal to be shattered as well, then he had to deal with it. 

‘When did you ever have a choice in your life? You want to be rid of me? Fucking try it and see how long you survive in your self-pity.’

“I said shut up!” Cloud nearly shouted the command this time, his fist weakly hitting the glass mirror before him. The shiny, reflective surface made a high-pitched creaking noise from the pressure, and the frame clanked and shuttered from the aftershocks. Despite this, it didn’t shatter, as the force hadn’t been quite enough to cause such damage. 

“I haven’t even said anything yet,” a humored voice spoke behind the blonde.

Cloud reacted to the invasion of his space instantly, jerking his body so he swung his sword out to slice his opponent. Because of his shocked stupor, and internal battle, reason had been pushed to the side like a forgotten relic. He hadn’t been wondering who it was that interrupted his private meeting with himself, his only concern was in making sure they never bothered him again. 

He looked on with a mixture of horror, and panic when Zack met him head on with his own blade. Zack looked quite stunned, but otherwise calm as his gaze pierced through Cloud. 

“Are you alright?” The black-haired male asked seriously. He gently knocked Cloud’s sword to the side, allowing the metal to clank against the ground with the younger male’s, now weakened, grip. He reached out a gloved hand to try and rub a pale cheek comfortingly, expecting Cloud was welcoming of their soft touches by now. 

Seeing the contact coming, Cloud jolted backwards, narrowly missing the skin on skin caress. He wanted it, but he couldn’t allow it. He’d almost sliced Zack in half because he was too much of a fucking whimp to handle his own emotions. 

The hurt look the younger male received from his friend made Cloud’s chest clench with guilt. Zack wanted to comfort his courting interest, just as much as Cloud wanted to accept the comfort, but the situation could not merit it. Cloud couldn’t merit it. 

‘Guilt? Who needs guilt? It’s a useless emotion that only serves to breathe life to future pain, and suffering.’ Cloud took another step back, as if the words had inflicted an invisible blow on him. He felt a little breathless, but did his best to cover it up, placing the back of his hand over his mouth. This action also helped to calm his rolling stomach a fraction. 

“I’m fine, it’s just been a while since I’ve been out in the field. You startled me,” Cloud gave the half lie easily. Zack had startled him, but nerves for being back out on the field wasn’t the reason behind his odd behavior. 

‘That’s right, lying is how you stay safe. Just listen to me.’ 

“A little nervous, Cloudy?” Zack cooed, allowing his hand to fall back down to his side. He seemed to accept this excuse, and didn’t make any more immediate moves to invade Cloud’s space until he deemed the blonde calm enough. 

The younger male shrugged, his gaze locked on to a particularly interesting wall across the room. He wanted Zack’s touch, and the comfort it would bring. He wanted to tell the truth, but what would that truth be? What would it look like?

‘Hey Zack, I’m so close to having a complete mental breakdown, and it’s all your, and the other’s fault. Despite this, I’m about to march out into a potentially dangerous situation with you, where I may or may not listen to the voice inside my head, which may or may not be a complete psychopath.’ 

Yah, that would go over so well. 

But still…

Cloud craved comfort in this moment like the night sky craved its stars. With each passing day, it grew to be less of a craving, and more of a deeply ingrained need, where he wasn’t even sure if he’d be able to sleep at night without knowing for certain one of the other four were nearby. Sleeping with Genesis… Sharing that heat, and that coexisting affection. It was like something Cloud never thought he deserved, let alone could have. Why were they so gentle with him? Why were they doing this to him? Why were they torturing him?

“You tied off your pauldron wrong, it’ll slip off if things end up getting heated,” Zack pointed out, breaking Cloud from his thoughts. 

“Huh?” The blonde asked dumbly, Lifting his shoulder so he could get a better look. 

“Here… let me-- may I?” Zack asked politely in a way that was more befitting of Genesis or Sephiroth than it was of the exuberant, anything-but-graceful male. 

Cloud took in the soft, yet strong structure of Zack’s face, as if updating the memories he kept of his friend. The last time he’d ever seen Zack -- the night he’d left the SOLDIER on that cliffside -- he’d looked so young and innocent. One could almost think he was sleeping, rather than releasing his final breath. In the end, Cloud couldn’t even bring himself to say goodbye, and had opted for ‘good night,’ allowing himself to believe the man he loved was only sleeping. 

Love…

‘You don’t know what love is,’ the voice mocked, forcing Cloud to shake his head to rid himself of the offending thoughts. 

“Yah,” the blonde covered up the shaking of his head quickly with a nod, and held his arm out so Zack could look at the pauldron. 

Zack offered Cloud a playful smirk, before grabbing the younger male’s arm, and pulling him closer. The tug on the appendage wasn’t aggressive, but it was strong, and guiding. Cloud swallowed as the SOLDIER set to work adjusting the straps and buckles that held the protective pad against his vulnerable side. It was customary for combatants to protect the spots they often left open, and weilding a weapon like the buster sword meant his swing was wider, and his vulnerability after his follow-through was greater. The shoulder pauldron made up for this, by guarding that vulnerable part of his body. 

“There, that should keep it in place, but I’d suggest tagging along with me next time I go to the weaponry. I think this pauldron is a bit too big. I’ll spot you the money, and you can just pay me back when you get a job...” Zack offered, giving a soft tap to the top of the hard surface. “Or you could not bother paying me back at all, and we can just call it me taking care of you.” 

Cloud allowed the last comment to resonate in his mind a moment longer, while having a love-hate feeling wash over him. He loved it because it made him feel wanted, cared for, and protected. He hated it because it made him feel weak, vulnerable, and uncertain. Was Zack just playing with him, or did he actually care? 

Cloud knew the pauldron was too big, but there was a reason behind that. Back when he’d been infected with geostigma, his arm would often swell with the pain and strain the illness produced. As a result, a tighter fitting pauldron would have caused him much more discomfort, and so he went up a size. 

“Su--” Cloud was about to agree to the offer, but was cut off when fingers wrapped under his chin, and warm lips pressed against his own. 

Blue eyes shot open as wide as they could go, but lean arms remained limp at the blonde’s sides. The kiss was short, but helped to soothe some of the anxiety, and turmoil in his flustered mind. It was as if Zack were breathing some semblance of life and control back into his being, and it even helped to quiet down the voice that had been pestering him nonstop. 

When the black-haired male pulled back, Cloud noticed he did this thing where he tucked his lips in for a microsecond, like he was trying to memorize the feeling. 

“That was for last time -- I thought I owed you my reply,” Zack smiled, running his thumb over Cloud’s bottom lip, before allowing his pointer knuckle to lightly knock under the younger male’s chin. The gesture caused Cloud’s head to raise up a little bit, so that it looked like he held much more confidence. “We leave out in five, so get your gear together. Oh and Seph gave me something to give to you a little bit ago, it’s in the nightstand drawer.” Zack pointed to the wooden structure, turning and exiting when Cloud nodded. 

Cloud stood for a second longer, blinking away the shock of what had just transpired. His body was practically moving on autopilot towards where Zack had directed, and he only came back to his senses when a familiar, green glow filled his vision. He picked up the healing materia in a gloved hand, rolling it around in his fingers observationally. 

Technically speaking, Cloud now had all of the materials and information he really needed to make his planned escape a reality. It couldn’t hurt to keep an eye on things here for a bit more though, could it? After all, Reno had told him to lay low, and stay up here where he was safe from Hojo. 

Here… where he was safe. 

A voluntary prisoner. 

\-----------------------

“Air units, report,” Genesis called out into the com in his palm, the warmth of the device barely distracting him from the screams and chaos outside. He was located on the roof of the Shinra building, where he could see each of the helicopters whirring about over the sectors. They looked like scattered stars as evening drew nearer, and each one was equipped with a bright searchlight, which continuously perused over the ground below. 

This day had basically been a living hell for all of them, and several men had already been wounded. Thankfully, there were no casualties to report, but that didn’t make any of it okay. Everyone was exhausted, and if things continued much longer, they’d be forced to put the town under ordered lockdown. This was yet another course they had tried to avoid at all costs, seeing as how it would only serve to make Shinra look like it was trying to further cover up things, rather than just defending itself. Desperate times called for desperate measures though, and if they had no other options before them other than “keep fighting until you die from exhaustion,” or “shut the city down to keep your men safe and worry about allegations later,” then he’d gladly choose the former. 

Even up this high, the furious crowds rioting below could be heard, as could the sounds of the destruction they were creating. The redhead clicked his tongue impatiently; sitting still had never been his style when it came to combat. He did as he was ordered, and knew the importance of his position, but his fingers twitched and flexed at his sides from the strong desire to join the fight. He’d taken up pacing for a good while, but ultimately stopped that when he realized it made him more anxious than it quelled his nerves. The firsts were reserved for real battle, where their high level skills were imperative for victory. Otherwise, they typically took on the roll of high commanders. 

“This is air squad alpha,” Tseng’s voice rasped through the com, letting Genesis know he’d heard the SOLDIER’s call. “Since the last report, we’ve had two units airlift injured men back to base, but there have been no serious medical emergencies, nor any need for our immediate intervention. I’ve had men dropped off at upper sectors five, and seven for fear of combat force overpower. We’re holding any and all fire unless we start experiencing extreme casualties. We’ll continue to offer support where needed.”

“Don’t fire at anyone! The last thing we need is civilians dropping dead because of an air attack ordered by Shinra. It will only make the situation worse,” Genesis warned, rubbing a palm over his face as he tried to consider other options. “I’ll keep in touch, for now, just continue what you are doing. Once I receive more information from Angeal, I’ll let you know what needs to be done.” 

“Understood,” Tseng replied stiffly, before the com went silent with a muffled static noise. 

That right there was the occasional problem with turks, they had no problems taking lives if it meant protecting their men. While this trait is admirable during times of great war, homeland disputes were a different story entirely. 

“Angeal,” Genesis spoke into the com for the second time after switching channels, searching for his raven-haired boyfriend. Even to his own ears, he could tell his voice sounded just as exhausted, strained, and aggravated as he felt. 

Angeal was stationed down on one of the lower levels of Shinra in the main com room, where he was responsible for recording and relaying all information to Sephiroth, who would disperse it to the higher ups. It was a giant circuit of interlocking parts, where communication was very important to make sure everyone was on the same page. 

“I’m here,” Angeal’s familiar voice filled Genesis’s ears, and helped some of the tension leave the redhead’s shoulders. Genesis knew his lover’s choice of wording was intentional, and meant to offer comfort. For that, he was grateful, because all he wanted to do at that point, was crawl into bed with the man and never leave. 

“Air support has reported in two medevacs, and two support force drop offs in sectors five and seven. I’ve ordered a hold on all gunfire, because Tseng is borderline insane behind all of his refined posturing.” As Genesis reported, his ears picked up on the loud sound of an engine revving below. It was like the sound you’d hear in movies before a stunt was performed, and it made him feel anything but reassured. 

“Okay, I’ll let Sephiroth know. Just try and hold out a little longer until they figure out what they want us to do to shut all of this down. We might have to order a city-wide lockdown, but if--” 

Angeal stopped speaking when the sound of tires squealing against pavement filled the night air. The loudly whirring engine only continued to rumble a bit longer, before an ear-piercing crash made him flinch. With him being so high up in the air, even with his enhanced hearing, the only way the crash could have been that loud was if it’d taken place directly below. The redhead ran to the edge of the building, grasping the handrail so he could look down where he’d heard the sound resonating from. 

“Hey Ang, Gen, we might have a problem down here.” Zack sounded like he was either about to laugh, or cry, which usually meant something was actually wrong. It probably didn’t help the younger SOLDIER’s sanity either to have been commanding such a large group all day, while fending off half of Midgar’s population. Out of all of them, their black-haired boyfriend was probably the most exhausted, and the most in need of a good nap. 

“Did something happen with Cloud? Are you alright?” Genesis asked before he could help himself, alerting Angeal to something both men had failed to share. 

“Cloud? What the fuck is Cloud doing down there?!” The raven asked with alarm clear in his voice. Aside from the risk of Cloud taking advantage of the chaos to slip off somewhere, there was also the concern over the fact that he hadn’t been cleared for combat, and he technically wasn’t even a Shinra employee. None of this was his battle to fight. 

“Cloud is fine, I’ll explain later, but right now we’ve got a car inside the building, and we can’t hold this line out here much longer. If they get past us, they’ll have direct access to the interior,” Zack explained the situation with mild strain, his attention preoccupied with something going on on his end. 

“Alright Zack, just try and hold out until we can send in a backup unit,” Angeal consoled, already preparing to connect to the closest squadrons. 

“Make that at least two, it’s getting real bad and--” Zack was cut off by a shout at his side. 

“That’s enough!” Cloud screamed, wiping away a stream of blood that escaped from a slim cut on his cheek. The last person he’d dealt with had got him good because the blonde was still trying not to become violent with civilians. He’d had it though, all of this had gone far enough, and even Zack looked like he was about to lose it. 

Unsheathing his sword from where it had been sitting against his spine, Cloud glared out at the masses, allowing the heavy metal to rest outward at his side. His loud tone was enough to have everyone quieting for a solid second, and that was all he needed to begin talking. “Look around you! You’re destroying your own city -- your own homes -- trying to get back at Shinra for something you aren’t even sure is true! And let’s say, just for the hell of it, that the allegations are true; what good do you think it will do to take down the only group in all of Midgar that has the military strength to defend you?! Driving cars into buildings,” Cloud gestured behind him to the mess that had once been the polished glass entrance to shinra. “Trashing the streets, destroying houses, setting things on fire -- what good does any of that do for anyone?!” By now, the surrounding crowd had already ceased their actions to listen to what this strange blonde man was saying; hopefully finding reason in his words. 

“I can promise you one thing though… If you start resorting to violence as a means to an end, the violence will never stop! You take one of Shinra’s men, and they’ll take five of yours, and as for me? Well, I’m not employed under Shinra, but I also don’t see any point in this. I’m tired, annoyed, and fucking pissed!” Cloud pointed the tip of his blade outwards in a lazy, battle-ready position. “And because I’m not employed by Shinra, I don’t have to listen to their orders, and I swear this to you: I am much, MUCH crueler than them. I have no problems with proving exactly how many of you I can take out on my own, before you can even lift a finger to retaliate. You can live without a limb or two, so go ahead and fucking try me, cause I’m tired of this pointless ‘revenge’, that is doing more harm than good!” Cloud finished, adjusting his stance from a lazier one, to a strike-ready one. His gaze was set sternly, with his brow creasing intensely from his anger. His eyes were dead serious, and had taken on a darker shade of cerulean, while the green in them glowed brighter with the darkened evening. Fire from nearby casted dark shadows along his otherwise soft features, and made him appear more like a devil shrouded in red than an angel of gold glimmer. 

A few people stepped back, their faces displaying a look of horror mixed with realization, but the important thing was that nobody was making any more moves to attack. 

“Cloud, calm down,” Zack ordered, his tone a bit sharper than he would normally use with the younger male. 

“Make me,” Cloud retaliated firmly, not even looking in Zack’s direction. “I meant what I said, Zack, I don’t take orders from Shinra, which means I don’t take orders from you.” 

Zack felt something like anger rising up inside his own chest; his exhaustion, combined with Cloud’s sudden defiance screamed at him to put the blonde in his place. He was about to do just that, taking long strides in Cloud’s direction, but he immediately stopped in his tracks when people in the crowd around the building started dispersing. They left the destruction they’d caused behind them, with no intentions to aid in the clean up of the mess they’d made, but it seems they found peace with Cloud’s advice. 

While many of them looked at Cloud in a way he’d gotten used to by now -- looked at him like he was a freak, or a monster -- many others simply scampered away, not willing to push the buttons of this insane man who’d threatened to cut their arms and legs off. 

Resolve -- that was the key to getting people to listen. In order for a threat to be believable, you had to believe in it yourself, and although Cloud had no intention of slicing people up, he made himself believe he would. He envisioned the tearing of flesh from all of the wars he had been in in the past, and the spillage of blood over grains of sand. He envisioned the screams, and the pain; the fire and the carnage. The look in his eyes was believable enough to even fool Zack, who had been genuinely concerned the blonde was going to start cutting people open. 

“Cancel those backup platoons, Ang,” Zack spoke with disbelief into the com device, watching as ninety-percent of the crowd dispersed off to who knows where. The few that stayed behind looked like they were still weighing their options, but didn’t appear to be an immediate threat. Certainly Zack and his men could handle a few stragglers. 

The questions that now remained concerned Cloud, but then again, when did they not?

\---------------

“What the hell were you thinking?” Angeal asked, hitting Zack over the head when he and Cloud returned to the head of operations. The front lines were now clear, so it was just the usual guards who were keeping watch outside, and were prepared to alert them should danger arise oncemore. 

“Ow! It wasn’t that big of a deal, he was with me the whole time, and in case you didn’t hear, Cloud is the reason why the building front is clear.” When Zack was aggravated with someone, it became clear, not only in his obvious glare, but also in the rigidity of his posture. The usually slouched, puppy-like Zack Fair was standing as if he were ready for a fight, though they all knew he would never actually hurt his mentor. 

“That’s not the point Zack, and you damn well know it. I would chew you out more on this matter, but I have a feeling you’ll get more than an earful from Sephiroth later,” Angeal warned, glancing over at Cloud, who was paying hardly any attention. 

It seemed like the blonde was in his own world, wherever that world may be, it definitely wasn’t where they were though. 

“Cloud,” Angeal called out, grasping the spacy blonde’s attention. 

Cloud turned his gaze to the raven, but didn’t make any other sounds or gestures. 

“Are you alright?” Angeal quizzed, hoping the incidents outside hadn’t fucked with the blonde’s head. His gaze flickered to the bruises littering exposed flesh, and the slice still bleeding on a pale cheek.

“I’m not a delicate little flower or anything, I’ll be fine, rest assured,” Cloud spoke almost as sarcastically as Zack would, shocking Angeal into a momentary silence. When had the blonde become so sharp and snarky. Surely he hadn’t spent so much time around the kings of sarcasm -- aka Zack and Genesis -- that he would begin picking up their behavior. 

“I’m just making sure you are alright, there is no need to become so angry,” Angeal countered with a slight glare, causing the blonde to look away again. 

Both Genesis and Zack shared looks, knowing how Angeal could get if he was tested too hard. They knew the raven would have some mercy for Cloud, who wasn’t inside their circle, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t awaken Angeal’s darker sides. 

Cloud didn’t answer, but Angeal, not wanting to press Cloud and end up in a situation like last time, simply sighed and walked away. There it was, something worse than getting yelled at -- the good ol’ ‘I’m disappointed in you’ turn around. 

Zack caught Cloud barely glancing in Angeal’s direction, but otherwise didn’t see much more of a reaction. He had no idea what was going on in Cloud’s head, or if he was more disturbed by the gesture than he was letting on. Either way, nothing good would come about from Cloud and Angeal still not getting along. As far as the rest of them could tell, Angeal was the only one making hardly any progress with the blonde. Even Sephiroth had passed him at this point, and considering how Cloud tended to react to Sephiroth, that was a major accomplishment. 

“This is starting to become tiresome,” Genesis remarked, gazing at the doorway Angeal had retreated through. 

Zack hummed, before walking over to Cloud, and pinching him on the arm. 

“What?” Cloud asked, shrugging away from the black-haired male’s touch for the second time that day. This time, however, Zack followed him, and ran his finger softly under where Cloud’s cut was, catching some of the dribbling blood. Cloud didn’t even flinch, but his lips did press together from the emotions flooding him. 

“Let’s go,” Zack prompted warmly, “I’ll patch you up, and then we can both get chewed out by Seph.” 

Cloud followed mindlessly, his gaze focussed intently on Zack’s strong back. He could see a nasty, purpling bruise peeking out from under the material of the black-haired male’s sleeve, and instantly felt bad. He wasn’t the only one who’d had a rough, tedious, and physically and mentally exhausting day. Zack had been by his side the whole time, and he had also been responsible for commanding hundreds of men, yet Cloud was acting like the world revolved around him. 

‘What’s wrong with being a little selfish?’ The voice inside returned with a vengeance, trying to justify his actions, like always. 

For now, Cloud would follow along with Zack back upstairs, and keep to his silence. 

Back upstairs. 

Back to where he had to learn what social interaction even was. 

Back to where Angeal was.


	26. Sine From Above

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zack and Angeal argue over what the proper first aid technique is, which ultimately leads to Angeal and Cloud having a major breakthrough in their relationship. Reno and Ark argue over the best course of action for getting Hojo off of the young scientist's back. Sephiroth ponders over his recent thoughts after getting the report about Corel. A new character enters the mix, but who exactly is this hooded figure standing over Midgar? Sephiroth and Angeal take a sleeping Cloud back to Sephiroth's apartment -- how will he react come morning?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! Sorry for the skipped week guys. I was dealing with a TON of stuff, from a family member getting arrested, to one of my social media accounts being hacked. Needless to say, my Christmas was a bit shaky this year. But either way! I am back, and here is the next update. There is some VERY significant progress here, which I'm sure some of you will enjoy, while others might be left shocked. I felt it was about time though, and what better way to make up for a missed week of updating. :) There is some HEAVY stuff here, so be warned that you might need to take a break every now and then. Lots of mystery, and a sprinkle of fluff, and we now have chapter twenty-six! Enhoy!
> 
> **Warnings: implications of mental illness, mildly sexual situations, cursing, cliffhanger (I'm sorry T^T it seems I don't know how to not leave one).** You know the drill, let me know if I missed a warning please!

"I heard one sine from above 

Then the signal split in two

The sound Created stars like me and you

Before there was love, there was silence"

Sine From Above - Lady Gaga

\-------------

Cloud sat in Zack’s apartment, his head bowed in silence as Angeal and Zack bickered away about the proper way to give first aid. He could see the two wrestling through the window created by Zack’s bar counter, which separated the kitchen from the sitting area. 

“No, you clean it with the peroxide, and then you add ointment, and the bandage. I’ve been doing it this way for years and have never had any problems,” Zack growled, trying to snatch a black bottle, labeled ‘Hydrogen Peroxide,” from Angeal. 

The raven continued to jerk it just out of reach every time Zack lunged, placing a grounding hand on Zack’s chest in an extra effort to keep his protege back. 

“You have to wash the wound out with water, then use the peroxide, then wash it with water again, before placing the ointment and bandage. I’ve been doing this longer than you, and this is the best way to prevent infection,” Angeal countered, grunting when Zack practically jumped on his back to try and retrieve the stupid bottle. 

“That’s too much water! And if you wash the peroxide off, it doesn’t do its job. Your way has too many steps.” Zack nearly fell to the floor when Angeal shoved back with his elbow. 

“Of course it’s too much water for you since I can’t even get you to drink water. You aren’t supposed to leave the peroxide on the skin; it’s a corrosive and can cause irritation. Just let me take care of it.” With one final shove, the raven managed to catch Zack off guard enough to grab the rest of the first aid kit and run back to where Cloud sat on the couch. 

“You cheater!” Zack’s shouts could be heard coming from behind the bar counter, though he couldn’t be seen since he was still on his ass from Angeal’s last blow. 

“Yeah yeah,” Angeal muttered under his breath, too soft for Zack to hear, but just loud enough for Cloud to pick up. 

He sat next to Cloud on the couch, setting the majority of the first aid supplies on the coffee table. The only things he kept in his hands was the bottle of peroxide, and a wet rag, while a dry rag sat on his thigh. 

Cloud couldn’t help but allow his gaze to drift upwards, the urge to not take his eyes off of someone who sat so close being too strong. He pressed his lips tightly together as his eyes ran over Angeal’s muscular form. The older male was looking down at the wet rage in his hands, folding it over and situating it in a way that would make it easier to manipulate. So used to looking up at the firsts, who were all infuriatingly taller than him, from this angle Cloud could see Angeal had fairly long eyelashes. They were dark, fanning across the pale highlights of the SOLDIER’s cheeks. With each blink, the lashes fluttered prettily like soft feathers, captivating Cloud. 

Feeling the eyes boring into him, Angeal quickly finished situating the cloth properly in his grip, using his palms to heat it up. When he looked back up, the tingling feeling of being watched was confirmed to be Cloud’s close observation of him. 

“Something wrong?” The raven asked, his tone somehow managing to dance on a line between gentle, and impassive. 

Gently impassive? 

Cloud shook his head to get the stupid thoughts out, almost willing to laugh at his childishness if it weren’t for the fact that the situation he was in was already awkward enough. Angeal seemed to take this head shake as a response to his question, because the next thing Cloud knew he had fingers pressing under his chin, and a sharp, masculine face way too close to his own. 

Angeal’s gaze was calculating as he studied the wound on Cloud’s cheek like a scientist would a specimen under his microscope. Finally, he hummed, and raised his other hand, which held the wet cloth. 

“It doesn’t look like it needs stitches, but it’s pretty deep so this will be a bit uncomfortable,” Angeal warned, before beginning to gently wipe away the dried blood that had managed to drip all the way down to Cloud’s jaw. 

The raven worked carefully and purposefully, but much quicker than Cloud would have if he were trying to tend to his own wounds. He knew Angeal -- and the others, for that matter -- well enough by now that he was certain they wouldn’t have left him to take care of it himself, even if he begged them to do so. It saved a lot of pointless effort if he just let Angeal do as he wished, and then they could go their separate ways for the evening. 

When Angeal first touched Cloud’s wound, after having cleaned up the streaks of blood off his face, the blonde hissed and tried to retreat. He had been lost in his own thoughts, and hadn’t been prepared for it, but apparently Angeal had been prepared for Cloud to retract. The raven tightened his grip on the blonde’s chin, not allowing him to move away. 

“Hold still, you’ll get an infection if it goes untreated,” the SOLDIER chastised as he continued cleaning the cut. 

One thing Cloud took notice of, however, was that Angeal’s touch was lighter over the damaged flesh than it had been when it was just cleaning up his face. Something about that made that annoying flutter return in Cloud’s stomach like an old enemy resurrecting themselves from the dead. What do you know, the damned butterfly sensation was basically his world’s Sephiroth. 

“’s fine-- not like my face will fall off,” Cloud grumbled petulantly, his eyes looking anywhere but at Angeal. 

Angeal scoffed in return, pressing a fraction harder into Cloud’s skin. This time the blonde didn’t flinch, or even blink; he remained still, and silently prayed for this ordeal to be over soon. Things felt a little awkward with Angeal, and, by the way, Cloud didn’t even understand why the raven had been aggravated earlier. He’d asked the younger male if he was alright, and Cloud had replied with -- albeit snarkily -- reassuring the man he wasn’t going to break from something so small. All four of the firsts seemed to think he was this delicate thing they all needed to be careful not to destroy, but if they knew the atrocities he’d committed with his bloodstained hands, they’d think him a demon made of leather skin and shrouded in cold fire. 

Angeal listened to the sound of Zack talking on the phone in the kitchen, while also paying attention to Cloud’s facial expressions, and cleaning the blonde’s wound. Being the more responsible, and mentally stable one in their little circle, Angeal had grown rather good at multitasking with everything, including his own thoughts. 

“Something is on your mind -- would you like to share with me? I’m sure you’d find I’m much better at listening than others. Perhaps a good starting point would be your short-string-temper.” Angeal prompted, trying to sound as reassuring as possible by swallowing all of his prior frustrations. 

Cloud didn’t relpy.

“You know, from what I can tell about you, you only act like this when you are feeling either guilty, scared, or confused. Given the amount of time you’ve been spending in a daze, I’d say the last one is a given, so we could always start there.” Angeal lightly thumped Cloud under the chin, giving him an encouraging, and supporting smile. 

Cloud stared up at him with an unreadable look, but if Angeal had to guess, he’d say it was indignity mixed with want; the want to spill all that bothered him, no doubt. 

“I--” Cloud was cut off by Zack’s booming, groaning voice. 

“I’m gonna be gone for a while, apparently I’ve gotta go take care of some cadets, who are causing trouble in the cafe. For fucks sake, you’d think they could find someone else to chastise kids about ‘etiquette’ or what not.” Zack paused his complaining when he took stock of the situation before him. “I’ve… interrupted something?”

“Yes” 

“No” 

Angeal and Cloud spoke their opposing responses at the same time, and Zack scratched at the back of his head with a nervous laugh. If their life were a cartoon, you’d be able to see an animated sweat drop attached to his temple. 

“Alright, I’ll leave you to not doing whatever you’re doing then,” the black-haired male stated, before hightailing for the door to get away from the awkwardness of the room. 

This awkwardness only got worse when the front door to the apartment was closed, and Angeal and Cloud were left sitting in silence. 

“You?” Angeal filled in the question, trying to get the blonde to keep going from where he’d been cut off a moment ago. 

“I’m fine,” Cloud stated, abandoning whatever it was he had wanted to say. 

“Nah ah,” Angeal shoved Cloud playfully, the light roughhousing adding a new lightness to the atmosphere around them. “You can tell me anything, but you can’t start saying something, and then give me that lame excuse I hear fifty times in a day. You saying ‘I’m fine,’ is basically you saying ‘I’m miserable.’”

Cloud closed one eye irritably, when Angeal placed a thick bandage on his cheek, having already washed and disinfected the wound. 

‘Cute,’ Angeal thought to himself, allowing his fingers to linger on the soft, bandaged cheek a little longer. 

“Even if I told you, it’s not like you can fix it… you’d probably make it worse,” Cloud mumbled out the last part, thinking about how the four first were the reason he was dealing with this mental aggravation to begin with. 

“You might be surprised,” Angeal pressed further, clearing his throat and removing his hand from Cloud’s cheek when cerulean eyes glanced up at him. “Just… try. Can you try, if not for yourself, then for me?”

Guilt. 

Cloud felt guilty. Angeal was a kind person, even if he could be a major, hard-headed asshole at times. Through the fog of all his self-loathing, and that angry, antagonizing voice inside, he was also feeling a stirring of want. He wanted to share the struggles he’d been going through, but another “want” he had was even more dangerous. 

“I’ve just been angry, I can’t really explain why, but there’s a-- I’m having a hard time processing things,” Cloud gave up the half-assed answer with great struggle, not sure if telling Angeal about how deep the internal struggle went was a good idea. 

“Anger doesn’t just happen without a reason, even though it sometimes feels like it does. What has been on your mind lately?” Angeal asked, relaxing a bit more into the couch next to Cloud. He was turned so that one of his legs were bent up on the couch, while the opposite was planted on the ground, and his arm was swung over the back. This way, he could face the younger male, but not overcrowd. 

“Too much,” Cloud scoffed bitterly. He was worried about geostigma, and Jenova, and all of the stuff with the reactors. He was worried about Reno, and the potential of the man getting caught in whatever he was scheming up next. He was worried about these strange dreams he’s been having, and whether or not to trust them. He was worried about Hojo, and the potential for him to end up in the sadistic creep’s claws again. He was worried about the four first class SOLDIERs he’d been growing increasingly close to, and all of the feelings they promoted in him. In truth, that last one was like looking left and right at the same time. On the left path, there was fear and darkness, but on the right, there was care and solace. 

No…

That’s not quite true. Rather than looking down two different paths at the same time, it was more like looking down one very long road. On this road, you had to get through the rough spots to get to the bright ones. The very end of the path was blindingly bright, yet something he craved, but the beginning was so dark one would be unable to see their hand in front of their face. Fear, anger, denial, sadness… all of these were necessary emotions he’d have to fight in order to feel truly happy again, and he wondered if it was worth it. There was so much he’d long since buried deep down, that he wasn’t even sure if he COULD make it, even if he tried. Would he simply fall apart along the way?

“You’re zoning out again dear,” Angeal spoke softly. He didn’t make any moves to touch Cloud yet, not wanting to shock the blonde, but he did lean in a bit closer to remind him of the raven’s presence. 

“I’m just scared,” Cloud finally admitted so quietly, that if Angeal hadn’t been leaning forward, he wouldn’t have heard it.

“Of what?” Just a little more -- Angeal would only press a little more. 

Cloud’s eyes flickered up and down, a thoughtful look crossing his features, before it was replaced by something painful. Cloud allowed his gaze to fall on the SOLDIER, a sickening feeling in his stomach when he realized the truth. 

“Everything,” Cloud admitted, his voice coming out as young as he felt. This wasn’t the Cloud of hate and anger, this one was the eighteen year old boy getting dragged across Gaia on Zack’s shoulder. He wasn’t able to move, or defend himself, and the prospect of the world around, in itself, terrified him. There wasn’t much he wasn’t afraid of, because he knew there was so much he should be afraid of, and what’s worse, was he had no one to go to. 

“Cloud…” Angeal leaned forward, slowly lifting a hand to grasp around a lean bicep in an act of comfort, and grounding. The raven was hurting because Cloud was hurting, and it wasn’t until then that he realized just how much he cared for the blonde. This level of desire, and compassion was something he reserved only for his three boyfriends… four, he hoped he could say soon. “I’ve told you this before, but I’ll say it again because I think you need to hear it: it’s okay to be scared--” 

“It doesn’t matter whether or not it’s okay!” Cloud shouted suddenly, cutting Angeal off. “What matters is it isn’t okay to me. Just because it is accepted by you, doesn’t mean I’ll accept it. I’m tired of being afraid, angry, or worse, nothing at all... I’m just so fucking tired!” Cloud gripped the sides of his head in exasperation, ready to tear the hair straight out of the roots if this sickly feeling didn’t leave his stomach. His heart was racing a million miles an hour, and he could practically hear the internal crackling noise inside that told him his barriers were breaking again. 

‘I’m breaking.’

Cloud could feel the panic coming on again, and chastised himself because he should have known better than to start speaking about his problems to any of these four tormentors. 

‘I just need to calm down, then I can go to bed early or something. Just calm down, it’ll be fine,’ Cloud spoke to himself at high speed, rambling the same things over and over. He couldn’t even hear Angeal, who was trying to softly bring him down from his haze of worry and fear. 

This is where his anger was coming from, and why this persona had been born. Underneath it rested a rolling ocean of fear and sadness, and those emotions gave birth to an anger that sought only to keep him together. His anger was a drill sergeant, and he’s been staying composed only because when that voice said jump, he asked ‘how high?’ 

And then… It all stopped. He wasn’t afraid, or angry, or anything bad. He felt warm, and safe, and could feel his stiff frame relaxing more and more. 

“Shh,” Angeal whispered out the shushing noise with his lips still against Cloud’s. 

It was an intimate feeling, which grew even warmer as the kiss was deepened. Angeal swallowed each of his hiccups, pressing his body closer to the blonde who craved more and more. Turns out he’d been right, Angeal’s kiss was strong, and firm, but much softer than Sephiroth or Genesis’s. It was dominating in its own merit, but not in a way that was overpowering. It was in a way that…

Cloud tried to turn his head away, and he succeeded just long enough for Angeal to press him back into the couch. The raven’s breath was coming out quickly, and those thick, long lashes were even more beautiful in the way they darkened hooded eyes. 

“No, wai-- Ah!” The cry escaped Cloud’s lips before he could even process what was happening. It felt so…

“You’re hard,” Angeal mused, his eyes wider, and more innocent than one would have expected on such an intimidating male. 

Good. It felt so good. 

The fluttery feeling in his stomach was there, and had completely replaced the panic from before. He felt light, and maybe a bit jittery, but it wasn’t from nerves persay. It was a jittery feeling that made him tingle from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. The front of his pants ached in a way he hadn’t felt in a long time. 

He was aroused. 

Kissing Angeal, after having practically suffocated on his own breaths just moments prior, turned him on. 

Cloud tried to process everything, but found a fog covering his mind in a blissful sort of peace. And then…

“M- aah,” the moan that escaped him didn’t even sound like it had been born from his own voice. It was like a sound from a stranger, but felt so good to release, even as his face flushed with embarrassment. 

Angeal had ground down experimentally, taking in the look of pure pleasure, and calm that had overcome all of Cloud’s worries. 

Said blonde instinctively opened his legs wide enough that he could fit them on the sides of Angeal’s hips in a leg hug of sorts. 

‘So good. Feels so right,’ the internal voice spoke words of encouragement for a change, and boy were those words the truth. His back arched when Angeal ground down again, and gazed up through pleasure-squinted eyes at the way Angeal took his plump bottom lip between his teeth. 

Oh.

Cloud could feel it now.

He wasn’t the only one who was… who was hard; Angeal was aroused too, and that much was evident in the massive bulge at the front of the raven’s pants. 

“A-Ange-- ah! I don’t kno--” Each movement caused Cloud to lose even more of his rationality, and ability to think. 

Angeal growled deeply, and he sound was so primal and animalistic that the blonde couldn’t hold back the whimper that tore from his throat. He began squirming more, trying to run from the pleasure while leaning into it. 

“Be still,” Angeal breathed huskily into Cloud’s ear, before scraping his teeth over the edge of it. And though he uttered this command, and though Cloud wanted to abide by it, his body wouldn’t listen to his mind. 

Angeal chuckled darkly, before leaning back and looking down at the mess he’d made of the small blonde, who made a sound of protest at the separation. One of his hands weakly grasped the front of Angeal’s shirt, and tugged on the material, stretching it out. 

“So needy,” Angeal smiled fondly, grabbing the hand, and lacing their fingers together, before slamming it down into the couch by Cloud’s head. The action was very similar to what Genesis had done before, and had him automatically tossing his head back in some weird, borderline instinctual action. 

“Do you want me to help you hun? You have to ask me for it, otherwise I will not continue,” Angeal warned. Partially, he was hoping to be the first to hear Cloud beg, and on the other hand, he wanted to make sure he wasn’t forcing anything. At first, he’d kissed Cloud to shock the blonde back into breathing properly, and hoped to relax him. This had taken a completely different path of its own though when he’d made the discovery of Cloud’s hard on. If blood had been rushing to his nether regions beforehand, he was now close to bursting. 

“Y-yes,” Cloud managed to get out, his voice low. Clearly, even aroused Cloud was still Cloud, but Angeal was thinking only of all the ways he could break that stubbornness and pride. How would the pale beauty look tied to his bed atop his black sheets, blindfolded, writhing, and oh so desperate for release. 

“Yes what?” Angeal asked, pressing his luck a little further. 

Cloud broke through the fog of arousal long enough to glare, but those narrowed eyes popped back open when Angeal pressed his fully hard member back down on the younger male’s. 

“Please!” Cloud shouted before he could stop the word in his throat, gritting his teeth afterwards to try and stave off the humiliation of begging. 

“Good boy,” Angeal rewarded with the sweet words, before leaning back down over Cloud to begin placing his mark into the flesh there. The other three would see it, and they’d KNOW. They’d know just who it was that had claimed this body, even if he had no intention of going all the way. There was no way Cloud was ready for that, but this would do. 

Angeal adjusted the thrusting of his hips so the rolls were harder, and a bit faster. Cloud’s breath grew hot and ragged in his ear, and he used all of his weight to press the beauty into the couch beneath him. 

Cloud was so beautiful…

It shouldn’t be allowed for someone to be so perfect, and yet Angeal felt like he had a little bit of that perfection in the palm of his hand. He still knew, of course, how much was too much, and how much Cloud could take. He had no expectations of the male that Cloud hadn’t already long since surpassed. 

And all too soon, it was over with two, loud cries, which echoed throughout the apartment in a symphony of fulfilled pleasure. 

\----------------------

Reno watched Ark pace from where he sat in a lounge chair in the white-haired male’s apartment. It was his first time seeing the posh space, and he found the scientists at Shinra might even have nicer living accommodations than the turks. Or, perhaps it was just because of the refined way in which Ark decorated. The redhead’s own apartment was much more cluttered, with now base for design, nor for color scheme. He wasn’t a slob in the sense that he left food and trash all over the place, but he wasn’t a very organized individual either. He kept just enough of this “organization” to make sure he didn’t misplace something important. 

“Would you sit down,” Reno groaned, his head now tilted back so he was looking up at the ceiling lazily. Watching Ark do whatever it was he was doing, was beginning to give the turk a headache. 

“I’m trying to think -- I have to be more careful, because Hojo is starting to suspect a rat in his vicinity. Our stunt has driven him up the wall, and if he wasn’t bat shit insane before, he is now. You have no idea what it’s like to be around when he’s having a tantrum.” Ark glared at the lazy redhead mussing up the pillows on his couch, and cursed him for his lack of caring. 

Caring… well, it was something Reno wasn’t particularly used to. As a turk, you were trained to be hard, disciplined, and completely UNcaring. The turk cared in certain ways -- for example, he cared enough to be trying to help Cloud. Actually caring about another human being took years of companionship for him though, and the other person had to be deemed strong enough in his eyes. Strong enough to stand alongside him in battle, not behind him. Otherwise it would cause him pointless worry and strife. 

“You’re his little pet, aren’t you? I doubt he’ll be suspicious of you when he has a whole lab full of--” Ark cut Reno off. 

“Idiots, he has a whole lab full of idiots. The number of people who have the brains to pull stunts like this are far and few between down there. If I get caught, I might as well off myself, because anything he dishes out will be torture.” The albino finally sat down with a sigh, his face impassive with his exhaustion, but his eyes still hard and stern. 

“You gonna quit then? I never asked you to help me, so it doesn’t really matter,” Reno shrugged through his response, taking in the way the albino snarled. 

“I don’t want to quit, I just need to figure out a way to drive suspicion away from me.” Ark leaned his head on one hand, watching the flickering of city lights outside. 

“I might have an idea, but mine are usually less graceful or whatever,” Reno mumbled while picking at a loose string on his pant leg. “Next time we make a move, just make sure you are at his side. If you are working where he can see you when shit goes down again, he’ll never suspect you.”

“I’d be leaving the exaction of our ploy up to you then -- are you sure you’d be capable of sneaking through the labs without my help?” Ark quizzed with a distrusting look maring his soft features. “This isn’t a stroll through the halls at Shinra, if you are caught down there, you’d be lucky to walk out with your legs still attached. Aside from Hojo and other scientists, there are also tons of nasty things -- beings created by Hojo himself for the sake of war.” 

“I’m a turk, I could sneak up someone’s ass without them knowing,” Reno pointed a finger upwards as a visual aid. “Getting in and out unseen won't be a problem so long as you draw me up a suitable map. Meanwhile, you will be right at Professor asshole’s side when the alarms start screaming.”

“And when those alarms ‘start screaming,’ you are sure you’ll be able to get out before the labs go under lockdown?” The albino was starting to look hopeful, but he also still held this look of disbelief; as if he thought this idea a suicide mission. 

In some ways, less qualified people WOULD consider it that, but this was Reno, and he was more than capable. 

“Trust me, by the time the needle drops, not even my shadow will be distinguishable. But if you betray me, nothing on your face will be distinguishable anymore.”

\--------------------------

“What is the news from Fort Condor?” Sephiroth asked the informant before him, knowing full well the answer wasn’t going to be good. 

“The containment failed to hold up; black tar covers the area surrounding the border, and has spread approximately twenty yards. We’ve sent word for Corel to start sending in detailed daily reports so that we can ensure it is evacuated in time, should things go dark.” The middle-aged male gave the response like he was reading from a textbook -- professionally, and concise, without any emotion whatsoever. 

“And what of Corel so far?” The silver-haired general leaned back in his chair, the pen poised over the report he was supposed to be filling out unmoving. 

“Communications have been a bit difficult lately, but Corel is so far away that it isn’t exactly an abnormality for the com systems to cut in and out on occasion. Once the channel is reestablished, we’ll be sure to get a detailed analysis of the reactor’s status.” The advisor flipped through a chart, scribbling down a new note every so often. 

“It isn’t just the reactor I’m worried about… Even if unsteady communications isn’t an odd occurrence, I’d like for you to send a couple of people over to check on things, and set up a better com system. I’ve got people here, and in Corel who I am trying to protect, so I don’t want to leave a single thing to chance.” Sephiroth’s mind wandered to Genesis and Angeal’s friend, Ekko, who they were obviously very worried about. Angeal had even mentioned going to Corel himself to make sure things were alright, but the general couldn’t risk it. If something happened to the four men he cared so much about, he’d never be able to cope. They meant everything to him, and there were some things he simply couldn’t allow. 

“Yes sir, I’ll be sure to pass the information along so people can get sent over as soon as possible,” the man nodded, before bowing respectfully and making his exit. 

Left in silence, the general sighed; he was finding it rather hard to focus, but another problem still existed. Despite all of their efforts today, he and his team had been unable to reverse the voice masking, and were no closer to figuring out who the culprits were than before. They’d tried everything, but the silver-haired male couldn’t help feeling like a certain blonde could solve it instantly. Whoever these people were, Cloud had to know one, or both of them, meaning he’d know exactly how their minds worked. Could one of them be R?

Sephiroth grunted, opening up a filing cabinet in his desk. He perused through the many folders, picking out the one he had been searching for quickly enough. He’d been expecting Cloud to delete the message should they allow him to open it, and would admit he’d taken a photo of the riddle and cypher. 

“K, L, and Y… an organization, perhaps?” He muttered, leaning his head on the thumb and forefinger of one of his hands. 

Was it possible Cloud had once been part of some sort of operation to take down a group of sorts? If that was true, the acronym could be the name of said group… or maybe people? If he could just figure out how this person who contacted Cloud acted, then he could apply the right amount of pressure needed to flush him out. For Cloud’s sake, he would allow the man to explain himself, but treason was not an easily forgiven thing. Things were complicated, and the general would have to keep certain information to himself, otherwise Cloud might be accused of aiding and abetting. 

First things first -- he could run the small paragraph through a behavioral analyzer, and find matches in Shinra. Perhaps there were one or two people who had similar personality traits, and this would help narrow down the search significantly. He only hoped he could figure it out before they caused more trouble. 

He had enough shit to deal with right now. 

\----------------------

The dark figure stood atop one of the buildings, staring out at the Shinra building in the distance. Thin lips contorted into a disgusted grimace, and the wind made tendrils of his blonde hair peek out from under the lining of his hood. The night was cold, while the air was filled with the scent of smoke, and destruction. 

“Sir, preparations are almost ready for you to be transported to Corel… Are you sure one of us can’t go?” Another hooded male quizzed, his frame much smaller than the man who stood before him like a king stood over his domain, but this king hated the view. 

“Until Cloud is ready to take up his role, I have to be the one to oversee things. Reno is great at stirring the pot exactly when I wish he wouldn’t, isn’t he?” The boss quizzed, a vicious smirk making its way onto delicate features. 

“There’s no guarantee he will survive this ‘transformation’ Hojo plans to enforce -- he may not be weak in body, but he is in mind. Should it fail, it would be best to have you somewhere safe. Geostigma will spread, and things will only get worse until his vessel is complete. Going to Corel could spell an early end for you.” The younger male sounded worried, not wanting to risk his boss’s safety for the sake of a plan based on a guessing game. 

“Cloud won’t be a failure; he doesn’t even know what failure means, and is next to impossible to kill. Trust me, once upon a time, I tried to do just that. He will be a success, and his internal lifestream will be used to cleanse the taint. In a sense, he will be a walking health vein like the one which exists below the sector five church. Things are so different here though… do you think not?” Thin fingers rubbed a plump bottom lip, as the hooded figure envisioned the future that might exist in this strange timeline. 

“Of course they are different, based upon the multiverse theory, it must be. This is what worries me -- how do you know for sure that this will be the outcome of Hojo’s experiments on the boy?” 

How indeed…

The boss tilted his head up so he could gaze up at the sky, which was dark enough from the night without the storm clouds rolling in to block the moon. 

“It was once my job to know everything that goes on at Shinra, and I happen to know a great deal about the secrets Hojo keeps. This project he speaks of is essentially a project of healing. That old fool, for a genius, is rather short minded, and doesn’t think past his own objective of creating the perfect SOLDIER. Project R will be something else completely though -- tortuous for the one who has to undergo the transformation, but its results could shake the foundation of this Gaia. It is my objective to make sure it happens, and your job to aid me, or have you forgotten your oath to serve at my side?” The larger figure’s presence grew heavier in the small space, allowing the sheer size of his strength to weigh down upon his underling. 

“Of course not, sir. I’d never leave your side, nor question your judgement. My only hope is that this objective won’t cause any more harm to fall upon you.” The underling reassured, his voice as calm as ever, even if he was struggling to breathe. 

“I’ve already died once before, what else could exist in any world for me to fear?”

\------------------

Sephiroth rapped softly on Zack’s door, before letting himself in. After hours of paperwork and deliberation, he’d come to retrieve Cloud who was supposed to be spending one more night with him. Upon entry, it took a moment for his vision to adjust to the darkness. Once it did though, two silvery-green eyes locked onto an interesting sight. 

“He fell asleep,” Angeal stated from where he sat on the couch, holding a very worn out Cloud. The raven was playing gently with Cloud’s hair, touching and caressing soft tufts. 

Sephiroth’s nose twitched from the smell that filled the space. It was the lingering of arousal, and semen, and those scents were coming from the two men who laid upon the couch. 

“What did you do?” Sephiroth asked accusingly, trying to keep concern, and the slightest twinges of jealousy out of his voice. 

“Nothing he didn’t ask me to do; I’m not a rapist, Seph. I made sure he wanted me to finish things before I went any further. You’d be surprised how beautiful it is when he surrenders himself to you. He was made to be ours,” Angeal practically purred the words out, his fingers dipping down to trail over the delicate features of Cloud’s face. 

“From arguing to coupling in the span of a single night, how characteristic of you,” Sephiroth joked with something akin to a diluted snort. 

“Well… he was having a panic attack, and the only thing I could think of to distract him was to kiss him. I used to do that for Zack too, and it always worked. What happened afterwards just… I mean it just happened. I don’t regret it though, and I hope he doesn’t either.” Angeal paused the gentle caresses, his mind clouding over with worry over the prospect of Cloud going back to hating him. 

“He won’t hate you, Ang. At this point, I think he cares too much to find the strength to do so. You know as much as I do the level of trust Cloud has to hold for someone if he is willing to relent that much. You two may go at each other’s throats a lot, but Zack and Genesis do the same, and they still care deeply for one another. He sees comfort in you.” Sephiroth explained his reasoning carefully, hoping not to say anything that would make Angeal feel worse. 

“I love when you are this talkative, Seph. You always give good advice when you are -- words of wisdom I guess,” Angeal smirked, before unwrapping his arms from around Cloud as the general approached. “You’re taking him, right?”

“You could come along with us,” Sephiroth offered, lifting Cloud up off the couch bridal style. His arm supported lean, but soft legs, while his other one supported sturdy, yet slim shoulders. 

“Shall I?” Angeal asked playfully, standing up so he could kiss Sephiroth lightly on the lips. 

“It’s been a while since we shared a bed, and I’m sure it would quell any concerns in Cloud’s mind to wake up and see you haven’t run away from him,” Sephiroth consoled. 

“Or it might make it worse for him to wake up and realize I’m still there,” Angeal countered, sounding doubtful.

“I doubt it, the gap is closing.” 

“Gap?” Angeal asked before Sephiroth could even get in another word, trailing behind the general who began the walk back to his apartment. 

“Cloud is getting closer to us by the day. He’s easier to read, easier to comfort, and has had less outbursts outside of his panicked episodes. They are easily managed as well though, and not what they used to be,” Sephiroth elaborated, stopping before he could enter his room when he saw Zack trailing down the hall. 

“Aw, Cloudy fell asleep?” The black-haired male asked with an edge of disappointment in his words. 

“We’re headed to bed as well, it’s been a long day for everyone, and Cloud isn’t the only one who is exhausted.” Angeal stated over the soft snores Cloud was now giving off. They were kind of cute, and endearing in a way.

Zack’s gaze shifted between the three of them, before he smirked and nodded in understanding. 

“Okay, I’ll leave you to it then, g’night,” Zack said, exchanging a kiss with Angeal, and Sephiroth, before placing a light one on Cloud’s forehead. 

The blonde’s skin wrinkled a bit from the action, but smoothed out as quickly as it had creased. 

“G’night Spike,” He whispered gently, running his hands familiarly through Cloud’s blonde spikes. 

“Sleep well,” Sephiroth nodded at Zack, who smiled in acknowledgement and began making his way back to his room. 

Only the turning of night into day would show how Cloud would react when he woke up in bed with the two firsts, but both were confident they could handle anything. 

They would handle anything if it was for Cloud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter song: Sine From Above by: Lady Gaga


	27. Cursed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud wakes up and finds himself in an interesting position, which may or may not lead to a monumental discovery for him. Zack and Genesis have a conversation about how things might change in their forming fivesome. A look in the Shinra coms center reveals the secrets at Shinra might go deeper than what we thought. Reno and Ark plot something that may end up costing Reno a lot more than he imagined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, the cliffhangers in this chapter aren't too bad, but you guys might actually hate me for the next one. I apologize in advance T^T like genuinely... it's probably going to be the worst in this book thus far. But that is next week and this is this week :) I don't really have any notes at the moment, so as always, just let me know what you guys think in the comments. 
> 
> **Warnings: Language, sensitive subjects (death, mental health), always feels** 
> 
> Let me know if I missed any! <3

"Don't say it's all in my brain

'Cause I can't help being this way

I feel the changes they've made

Now I don't feel the same.

Leave my secrets alone

They aren't for you to know

I hear the knock at my door

As they take me far from my home

They say "It's better this way"

But the voices, they tell me I'm sane

They think they're cleansing my veins

As they lock me up in this place."

\- Cursed by Jacob Lee

\--------------------

Cloud felt… strange. 

It wasn’t necessarily bad, but it was a sort of warmth, and spaciness that made him want to squirm. Squirm closer into the heat curling around the front of his body, or squirm away; he wasn’t quite sure which urge called to him more. He dug through his brain in an attempt at remembering exactly where he was. Surely he’d just fallen asleep on the couch… 

Well, that didn’t make much sense.

The first flaw in this logic was the springiness of the surface beneath him. The surface he laid on was much softer, and giving than the more sturdy structure of the couch. Even if Zack’s couch was rather comfortable, it was still a couch, and lacked the support and give of a proper bed. 

The second flaw existed in the simple fact that Zack kept his apartment in the negatives as far as temperature went. This level of warmth could never be achieved in his friend’s home, so that guess was wrong. 

Genesis’s apartment was rather warm, but Cloud could remember traveling there, nor did he have a reason to be there. He was supposed to be in Sephiroth’s apartment, wasn’t he? 

Sephiroth’s home…

This heat… 

This bed…

Cloud’s body instantly jerked, and memories of what happened the previous evening came rushing back into his mind at a dizzying rate. 

Cerulean eyes popped open, and Cloud was met with the slim, porcelain features of Sephiroth’s sleeping face. The blonde tried to sit up in his panic, desperately trying to escape this situation he’d found himself in. These attempts at lifting himself from the bed, however, were met with a brick wall -- this brick wall’s name being the vice-like grip Angeal had on his waist.

The raven slept so peacefully, even as Cloud tried to dig his way out of the center of the furnace he was imprisoned in. Sephiroth’s body temperature had to rival the surface of the sun itself, making the blonde shift uncomfortably. The heat, combined with his struggling, caused his skin to grow stickier with a light sheen of sweat. 

This was just perfect. One of the two men, who he was currently sharing a fucking BED with, was a literally ball of fire, while the other could probably sleep through the building blowing up. 

“You two are fucking perfect for each other,” Cloud spoke bitterly to no one in particular, still trying to worm his way out of Angeal’s grip. 

The blonde would never admit to the near squeak that left his lips when he was suddenly pulled even tighter to Angeal’s chest. With this proximity, he could feel every bulge and twitch of impressive muscle beneath… not beneath anything. Angeal was shirtless, and even though his heat couldn’t match Sephiroth’s, the warmth pressing into Cloud’s spine was indicative of the lack of barrier. If possible, Cloud grew even more heated when his ass felt the soft shape of Angeal’s more than impressive member hidden under sweatpants. Even without the flooding of blood into the organ, there was no mistaking how well endowed the raven was, but, of course, Cloud knew that from personal experience now. 

‘What did I do?’ Cloud thought to himself, completely mortified by his own sinful thoughts, and his previous actions. There was absolutely no way for him to sort through the mess of emotions he felt, with them all ranging from fear, to humiliation, and, of course, anger. These emotions only burned hotter when he realized there was one thing missing from the overwhelming concoction.

Where was the regret?

The reality was even harder to accept, because he didn’t feel any. Sure, he felt a sense of wrongfulness within him over the disgraceful way he had acted, but he didn’t actually regret any of it. His prior hopes of gaining a kiss from the raven suddenly seemed so much more innocent by comparison, and he almost had to fight the urge to laugh. He’d gotten his kiss alright, with a side of pure, molten fucking sin. 

Cloud slumped in the hold, covering his face with the balled up fists he rested on the pillow under his head. 

‘Pathetic’ the voice inside seethed, rocking his core, and causing tears to begin gathering at the corners of his eyes. These droplets of burning salt water were the kind born from so much anger, that Cloud’s body no longer had the strength to house them. 

‘Why don’t you rid yourself of them? Let me out to play, Cloud,’ the voice turned demonic, hissing like a snake on the cusp of striking. 

“No…” Cloud replied, his breath getting caught in his throat in a choked vocalization. 

‘They are pain, I can take your pain away,’ it fought back, baring its fangs at his slipping sanity. 

“Please stop,” he begged, a painful feeling blooming deep in his chest, and making fire erupt in his nerves as he fought against it. 

‘You don’t need them -- I am all you will ever need. Anger is safety, hatred is sanity, and barriers are security. You don’t need them,’ it crooned, almost too softly, especially in comparison to its earlier taunts and venom. 

“No… I need... I need the--” 

“Cloud,” a sleepy voice whispered gently, cutting off the blonde’s words before he could finish. A firm, yet caring hand wrapped around one of his wrists, trying to pull it away from his pained features. “What do you need?” 

Cloud registered the voice as belonging to Sephiroth, and began to feel Angeal stirring behind him. The ravens grunts, any other time, might have seemed cute, or even attractive to the blonde, who simply didn’t have enough room in his mind to feel anything but dread as the two he’d been trying to escape from awoke. 

Another tug, this one a bit stronger, almost had Cloud lashing out. Sephiroth was trying to rip him from his bubble of comfort, and if he only had a moment longer he could recompose himself. 

“Look at me,” Sephiroth ordered, desperately seeking the eye contact Cloud always refused to give. 

“Fuck off,” Cloud muttered in a failed attempt at making his voice hard and insulting. 

Angeal’s form shifted behind him, the muscled arm wrapped around his waist tightening in an almost grounding grip. There was comfort, and anxiety to be had in the simple gesture, and Cloud fought against both of them in equal measure until he was simply bouncing exhaustedly between the two. 

Calloused fingers brushed against the curve of his jaw, and Cloud might’ve found himself trying to press his face into the warm palm. He might’ve, until Angeal’s hand slipped under his chin and jerked his head up from its hiding spot. The action wasn’t painful, or super aggressive, but it was quick enough that Cloud couldn’t retaliate in time. Cool air hit his face and sent a shiver down his spine. His vision only remained blurred and distanced from reality long enough for the tears covering them to fall down his cheeks in a visible display of weakness. 

Sephiroth’s sleep fogged eyes met his, and appeared knowing, in a way. As if he’d known Cloud was crying -- as if he’d woken up because he could feel the younger male’s pain. Shinra’s general looked more disheveled and mundane than Cloud could ever remember seeing him. His silver hair was twisted about, some of it falling in front of his face and contrasting nicely with the glowing green eyes. His pupils were almost normal in their dilation, but slowly began turning back into serpent-like slits as he focussed on Cloud. Sephiroth’s normally colorless cheeks held the slightest tint of pink to them from sleep-heat. 

A softer palm than the one under his chin moved out from under the covers and caressed the side of Cloud’s face, carefully wiping away some of the tears there. 

“You’re sad -- why?” Sephiroth quizzed in a painfully gentle voice. The silver-haired man’s way of speech after having just woken up was endearing, and almost innocent in some ways. 

“I’m not,” Cloud denied, even though he fought a battle with his bottom lip to keep it from quivering, and his words felt thick with his clogged nose 

“Don’t cry, sunshine,” Sephiroth comforted, rubbing his thumb against the sensitive flesh under Cloud’s eye. 

The blonde could also feel Angeal’s mouth pressing into the back of his neck, and the tickle of the raven’s breaths against the skin there. He wasn’t using words like Sephiroth, but it was as if he were using his presence as a means of comfort for the younger. 

‘I’m here,’ that's what his occasional squeezes, and gentle nuzzles said to Cloud; they reminded him that Angeal was still there. 

A normal person would have run so far away from Cloud by now, that they might’ve found themselves on the other continent already. Not these four though. 

Cloud’s breath shuttered when he tried to take in a deep breath, and a feeling of relief and pain swept through him at the same time. It was deep, cooling, and felt bittersweet, but the tears stopped flowing for the time being. 

“You said you need something?” Sephiroth asked, leaning in closer to the blonde’s space. The general moved slowly, giving Cloud enough time to react or turn his head away. When the blonde merely stared at him with sad eyes, Sephiroth closed his mouth over Cloud’s in a mildly claiming kiss. It was much less heated than the one the two had shared before, but it still felt strong, and possessed the younger male deeply to his core. Tingles burst throughout his body, and it didn’t help that feeling in his stomach to know Angeal’s hand under his chin was holding his head up to meet Seph’s kiss.

The raven pressed feather light kisses into the junction where his shoulder met his neck. His teeth nipped at the younger male’s flesh every once in a while, so Cloud wasn’t able to forget Angeal was still there, even as his mouth was claimed by another. 

By the time Sephiroth pulled away, Cloud was panting, and more than a little confused. More importantly though, the limpness of his body was confirmation of how much he’d been able to calm down. 

“We could be all you need,” Sephiroth offered, his tone a mixture of heat, and that same sweetness that was painful to hear. 

‘We?’ Cloud quizzed to himself. Perhaps in his mental frustrations, he’d allowed blinders to fall over his eyes. Over the past several weeks, he’d been feeling guilt, and panic over the feelings and physical attention all four SOLDIERs had given him. Was Sephiroth encouraging him to allow the ministrations from all of them, and not just one? 

Now that Cloud really thought about it, with how close the first class elites were to each other, he doubted the four were oblivious to the fact that the blonde had been collecting kisses like they were candy. What did that mean though?

“You look confused,” Sephiroth broke Cloud’s train of thought with his amused tone of voice. 

“You’re all playing the same game,” Cloud repeated the words he’d uttered nights ago. At the time, those words had merely been speculation on his part, but now he was pretty certain. 

He was being courted. 

Rather than being so by each of the firsts individually though, it felt more like the four men were working as a single, cohesive force. It wasn’t a competition among them as much as it was like a battle they fought together, and Cloud had been oblivious for how long now? 

“I wouldn’t call it a game,” Angeal laughed lightly into the skin of Cloud’s neck, making butterflies explode in the blonde’s stomach. 

Cloud felt both stupid because of his obliviousness, and understanding of it. It wasn’t as if he’d been the object of someone’s fascination before outside of hatred, and war. He’d never felt this feeling in his stomach before now, which he was learning to identify as desire. He’d never shared a kiss with another person before, nor something like what he’d had with Angeal the night before. In short, he’d never learned to recognize the signs of someone’s interest, because he always thought himself unloveable. Allowing someone into his life seemed foolish when he knew they’d just end up leaving him behind in the end. Or worse, becoming his enemy instead. Cloud had always viewed himself as a means to a higher goal for anyone who might show minute interest; those who walked beside him only wished to walk ahead someday. 

As a teen, Cloud’s first romantic fascination had been Sephiroth -- as a young adult, his first love had been Zack… and he’d lost them both before his own eyes. 

He wasn’t sure if he could allow them too far in without running away first. 

“What do you want from me?” Cloud asked, his words coming out almost as uncertain as he felt. 

Sephiroth’s features pinched slightly for the barest microsecond, the only indicator that he didn’t like the blonde’s wording. 

“It’s not what we want FROM you, Cloud, it’s what we want to give TO you. Nobody expects anything from you,” Angeal voiced what Sephiroth was thinking. 

Cloud’s own face twisted into a look of confusion, his lips pressing together tightly. 

“Zack and Genesis…” the blonde trailed as he brought up his next concern. Was he really reading things correctly here, or was he just making a fool out of himself?

“Want the same thing,” Sephiroth finished for him. 

“And if you don’t want something FROM me, then what DO you want?” Cloud hesitated before asking this question, feeling uncertain of himself. He tried to make himself appear as impassive as possible, but it was growing increasingly difficult, and the blonde still felt like he was sitting on the surface of the sun. He wanted to crawl out of his own skin to escape the heat brought on by his own emotions, and being sandwiched between the human heater Sephiroth, and Angeal. 

“What do you think?” Sephiroth quizzed back, curious to see how the blonde would respond. He found it was always easier to dash any misconceptions Cloud held, by hearing exactly what the younger’s perception was from the get go. 

“You want…” Cloud’s face burst into flames in a way that neither SOLDIER had ever seen before, and Sephiroth immediately knew exactly what was going through his head. 

“While I don’t think any of us would refuse such things, that is not our biggest concern,” Sephiroth shut down the thought before it could even be allowed to fester in the air. 

Angeal was thankful he was positioned behind the blonde, because he was biting his lip to the point of nearly drawing blood in his attempts to hold back a bark of laughter. Cloud was a hard ass with a resting bitch face scary enough to have children crying, but that just made his innocent, cute moments all the better. 

“Things like that happen in their own time, don’t think too hard on it,” Angeal finally managed to console after having stomped out the laughter he was barely able to keep at bay. 

“Are all of you friends or?” Cloud made gestures with his hands in a rolling motion, trying to ask if they were just friends or more than that. 

“We are friends, but we’re also more,” Angeal nodded, answering Cloud’s question with a sort of confidence the blonde currently lacked. 

Angeal and Sephiroth spoke about this situation as if it were normal, which he supposed it might be for them. For Cloud, however, it was something new, and not necessarily strange, but very foreign. Four people involved with each other? Relationships were built off of two people who could supposedly trust each other. The thought of four made Cloud’s mind go crazy wondering how such a dynamic was even possible. 

“What are the views on relationships where you are from?” Sephiroth asked, trying to get to the root of things, so they could figure out where to go from there. 

“I assume one man and one woman, but I also couldn’t care less,” Cloud answered in a monotone voice, admitting he’d never been genuinely interested in a relationship before. 

‘Because they aren’t real,’ the voice in his mind hissed, and Cloud winced a bit but otherwise ignored it. 

Sephiroth, who had been paying close attention to Cloud’s reactions, saw this, but didn’t speak on it. 

“Well, we aren’t asking anything from you, as previously stated. If you want to ask questions, you may, but I only hope you might consider what we could give you,” Sephiroth stated, not wanting to overwhelm the blonde, who not only discovered the four men were involved with one another, but also that they wanted to “involve” him as well. Whatever thoughts were going through Cloud’s head, the general doubted he’d get the reserved male to relent them in one conversation. 

‘Nothing, there’s nothing that they can give you, but there's so much they could take,’ the voice warned Cloud, who began trying to squirm out of Angeal’s hold. 

The raven reluctantly let go, allowing the blonde to finally escape the bed. 

“I have to use the bathroom,” Cloud mumbled, before disappearing behind the door to the master bath. 

Angeal sighed and turned to lay on his back in the bed. He felt rather frustrated, but knew as well as Sephiroth that even just the little progress they’d made today was rather significant. 

Still, neither could escape the fact that they still had one more secret they hadn’t divulged, but the fear of scaring Cloud off while he was still processing things was too strong. 

Both could only hope for the day when Cloud was truly theirs. 

\-----------------

Zack sat with Genesis when he received the text message from Angeal. The two of them had been taking a lazy day after the events of yesterday. Zack’s legs were thrown over Genesis’s, while the redhead leaned back against the cushions on the younger male’s couch. Both were watching the news report, and Genesis couldn’t hide his obvious amusement when Cloud’s temper tantrum played on the television. He hardly even paid much attention when the puppy sat up abruptly, his phs held close to his face. 

“Cloud knows,” he stated in a voice of awe, and mild fear. 

“Cloud knows what, deary? You're going to need to be a little more specific,” Genesis pressed in a bored tone of voice, not finding anything interesting yet because he had no idea how big the situation was. 

“He knows about our relationship, and he knows we’re trying to loop him in,” Zack answered, his eyes moving up from the screen of the device he held to meet Genesis’s.

The redhead held a look of interest, his eyes widening the barest fraction through his cool facade. 

“Did Angeal and Seph actually TELL him?” Genesis’s tone was rather annoyed; he didn’t like the idea of their secret being spilled without him being there. “And just how much of our relationship did they reveal?” 

“Ang said Cloud just kinda connected the dots on his own about the relationship and courting thing, but they didn’t tell him about our specific dynamic. That would probably have been too much for him to think about at once anyways,” Zack answered, scrolling through the moderately lengthy text he’d received from his mentor. “According to him though, other than Cloud running off at the end, he took it rather well. Seph is still worried about Cloud’s lack of communication ability though. He thinks there's something eating away at spike.” Zack lowered the phone, getting lost in his pondering for a moment. “To be honest, I think I’ve noticed something like that too,” the younger male stated distantly. 

“I haven’t been around him much these past few days, not since that night he spent the night with me.” Genesis’s eyes visibly lightened at the memory of spending the night with Cloud, and now that Zack thought about it, he was the only one who hadn’t had that pleasure. 

“Well, he’s supposed to be with you the next couple of nights anyways, so I’m sure you’ll see something. To sum it up, his behavior has been a little… odd.” Zack hummed and tilted his head to the ceiling thoughtfully, trying to find the right words to explain a little better. “He has these points in time where it sounds like he’s yelling at himself, and he’s been much angrier lately. At first, we thought he was just mad in general, like always, but it's been kinda different. It’s like he’s arguing with himself, and angry with himself.” 

Genesis nodded his understanding, knowing just from that short explanation exactly what Cloud was going through. There was a reason the redhead was the angriest, and most short tempered of the bunch. 

“It’s a coping mechanism, and inner voice of sorts. When one feels they have no way to vent their problems, they often turn their hatred towards themselves. It is a defense, but it is also incredibly self-destructive, and unhealthy. While on the outside he might look composed, on the inside, all he’s doing is telling himself how worthless he is,” Genesis explained. The redhead had fought with the same thing for a good majority of his adult life, and especially so after the war with Wutai. Though he’d managed to get his struggles under control, a lot of that regained control earned with the help of the other three, he still heard the bitter sting of that voice on occasion. The last time it happened was that night he and Seph had their argument, and Cloud had been the one to bring him down from it. 

“Is there anything we can do?” Zack asked with concern, his brows creasing. 

Genesis smiled fondly at the younger male, before he brought a hand up to rub at the crinkling space between Zack’s eyes. 

“Mostly time will help, but it takes longer if the one experiencing it isn’t willing to communicate. The most you can do is ask him for this communication, calm him down when he seems upset, and a few reassurances and compliments don’t hurt to help boost his sense of self-worth. Don’t overkill it though otherwise he’ll just get pissed with you. When he cries out his frustration, hold him. When he bottles it up, support him. And when he asks for it, love him. But never smother him.” Genesis gave the response with carefully chosen wording. He didn’t want to make Zack worry more, but he also wanted to help the younger male to understand exactly what the situation entailed. 

“I’ve been thinking…” Zack trailed, before taking a deep breath to continue, “What if Cloud never really heals? What if he’s always hurting? I have no idea what’s happened to him in his life, but I can tell for certain he’s lost someone he cared for. I feel like he’s seen things I can’t even imagine, which feels strange considering I’m the older one, but…” 

“But it doesn’t always feel that way,” Genesis finished for his lover. Though he knew consciously of the age difference between himself and Cloud, at times, the blonde felt closer to Sephiroth’s age than Zack’s. Considering Cloud was in his early twenties, and the silver-haired man was in his early thirties, that was a pretty significant difference in age and behavior. 

“To answer your immediate question, let me ask you one. If I bring up Aerith, how does that make you feel?” Genesis quizzed, watching the expected wince mar Zack’s features. Cruel as it may have been to bring up the woman who still held a part of the blacked-haired male’s heart in her grave, it was necessary for making Zack understand. The young SOLDIER was a very example-driven learner, and could only take in many lessons the hard way. 

“It hurts,” Zack answered, his voice a bit thicker with traces of loss. 

“Does it hurt as bad as it did a couple of months after her passing?” Genesis inquired, receiving a head shake of no in return from Zack. 

“And did it hurt as bad a couple months after as it did when you first found out?” Genesis pressed further with his questioning. 

“Of course not, I-- when-- when I first found out, I thought I was going to die along with her,” Zack answered, squeezing a clenched fist tightly in his lap. 

“And today, can you still smile, and laugh? Can you live your life happily?” Genesis finished the line of questions, bringing his point to a close. 

Zack nodded, as realization began to fall across his face. 

“However long ago Cloud’s traumatic experiences may have transpired, there is a significant difference in why he hasn’t healed like you have. Time can help mend all that is broken, but fixing deep wounds takes a bit more than just time. When you get severely injured, sometimes you can’t just wait for the cut to heal on its own. Sometimes you need the extra aid of stitches. The three of us were your stitches, but Cloud never had any. As a result, his wound kept bleeding, and eventually became infected. He’ll never completely heal, just like you never will; the remaining scar will always be there as a reminder. But if we give him the antibiotics and stitches he needs to stop the infection from spreading, and the blood from flowing, he’ll be able to live happily again as well.” Genesis finished his explanation softly, with a reassuringly gentle smile on his face. It wasn’t a brutal or condescending smirk like the one that usually twisted the redhead’s mouth, but rather, it was comforting. 

“When I would wake up in the middle of the night and couldn’t breathe, Ang would always hold me close and trace letters with his finger on my back. He always told me to focus on what he was spelling, and even though I never got any right, the distraction helped me to calm down. I want to be that security for Cloud -- I want him to know he’s safe with me; with us.” Zack admitted, rubbing a stressed hand through the spiky hair at the back of his head. 

“Considering the manner at which Cloud was brought here, his lack of trust so far has been understandable. If you pay attention though, you’ll realize just how much he’s given, and how much closer he’s drawn. He wants to trust, he just doesn’t know how to. Don’t mistake fear for rejection.” Feeling a bit tired from their conversation, Genesis situated himself on the couch so his head was in Zack’s lap, and his eyes were closed. “We’ll get there, puppy,” the redhead reassured, enjoying the lighter atmosphere that had begun to settle in the room. 

Eventually, they’d all get there. 

\--------------------

“This is second class SOLDIER coordinator Jacobs calling from Shinra base operations in Midgar. We are attempting to contact North Corel, please answer.” Jacobs, a short, black-haired SOLDIER operative spoke into the speaker of his com. As per the general’s order, they’d sent some people to Corel as reassurance that communications would be stabilized. 

While it might’ve been true that keeping coms open with Corel was rather challenging at times, many people had grown concerned. It never took THIS long to contact the base, and channels had been seemingly dead for a good while now. The team assigned to the scoping out the location should arrive there within the next few hours or so, but until then, they were all left worried in the dark. 

“Still no word?” Cam, the head of the communications unit for Corel quizzed. She was a middle aged woman in her mid thirties, who’d long since retired her war uniforms for a pencil behind her ear, and a mahogany desk. Whenever they asked her why, her response was always the same: ‘I’ve seen enough of the bad side of humanity to last me three lifetimes.’

“Not yet,” Jacobs answered darkly, leaning back in his chair with his hands pressing against the top of his head in a stressed posture. 

“Nothing you can do about it until the unit we sent gets their systems set up. Until then, we can only hope we get a response.” The auburn-haired woman comforted, before handing Jacobs a cup of hot coffee. 

“I miss being back out on the field,” the young male grumbled as he held the steaming cup under his nose. 

“You went through hell at Fort Condor, being one of only three SOLDIERs to survive, and you want to jump into another potential hot zone?” She quizzed, with amusement in her voice even though she dropped it low enough that it couldn’t be heard by anyone around.

“Exactly, I’m a SOLDIER. I belong out on the field, not pushing papers, or sitting here waiting for more bad news. I must’ve survived for a reason in any case, so I should be doing everything I can to use my knowledge to help others,” Jacobs stated with impatience in his voice. He hated being stuck on the side of things, and knew if the same thing that hit Fort Condor also attacked Corel, they’d lose many more men. 

“Help others by giving up classified information to a certain intrusive turk?” She asked, a knowing look glimmering in her devilish eyes. 

Jacobs reacted instantly by tossing a hand over her mouth, and looking around to make sure no one was paying them any attention. 

“How do you know about that?” He whispered in a panicked voice.

Cam removed the hand from her mouth with little care, her eyes still looking into the coffee she was swirling in her foam cup. 

“I know everything that goes on down here, and before you freak out on me, know I have no intentions of giving you into the higher ups. I just have one question,” she looked up with an inquisitive look. 

Jacobs hesitantly nodded, his guard obviously still up. 

“Why’d you do it? If Rufus, or worse, the general finds out that the shit they went through yesterday was your doing, however indirect your involvement was, they’d have your neck. Hell, they’d probably even take turns breaking your bones before finally snapping your head from your shoulders.” The woman imprinted the gruesome image in Jacob’s mind, causing said male to pale a little. 

“I just… I don’t think it’s right to keep something so big from the public. Besides, I felt if I wasn’t the one to actually reveal the information to the news, that it probably wouldn’t get traced back to me. I can’t be the only informant either -- I wasn’t at Junon when the reactor went down, but they had information about what happened there as well. The people deserve to know… is what I thought.” Jacobs looked away in an expression of shame, catching the attention of Cam. 

“But you don’t think that anymore?” She quizzed in an amused tone. 

“It only caused more problems, and I had no idea the people would end up marching on Shinra. I thought they’d offer their assistance, or that the company might even get more recruits. I never once thought something bad could come out of telling the people what I felt they had the right to know.” Jacobs fiddled with the com device on the desktop, switching the channels with little beeping noises. 

Cam nodded, her lips, coated in violet lipstick, curling around the edge of her cup as she swallowed another mouthful. 

“You’re young, so I can see how you might think that, but you should have a little more faith in those with much more experience than you. Sometimes, the best thing you can do to keep things moving in a safe, and controlled way, is to hide the truth. The world isn’t as simple as you might think, and people are quick to jump to the conclusion of betrayal when secrets come out. You unknowingly forced Shinra into a corner though, and caused a lot of trouble for those people above you who you are supposed to trust.” The older woman chastised. 

“I know -- it’s the last time I’ll do something without asking first, and definitely the last time I speak to a Turk. Of all people, I decided to go to one of those little snakes.” Jacobs grimaced disdainfully, his lips curling with unspoken hatred. 

“By chance, do you remember the name of the turk you spoke to?” She inquired curiously, wanting to know who it was who put her cute underling in such a position. 

“Uh-- Cleo? Theo? Riko?” Jacobs cycled through the names that didn’t quite sound right. “Oh, I remember, his name was Ren--”

Static suddenly cut off the conversation, and caused both Jacobs, and even the level headed Cam to jolt from shock. The com device connecting to Corel had roared to live, with the little red light labeled “Communications open,” lighting up the dimly lit space. The unit they sent out wouldn’t have arrived so soon, which could only mean this was someone actually IN the Corel reactor site. 

Jacobs jumped forward, pressing the “talk” button on the square-shaped device. 

“Hello?! This is second class SOLDIER Jacobs, if you can hear me, please answer!” He practically screamed his desperation into the speaker. 

The static continued for a couple more, long seconds, before the intake of breath could be made out through the messy connection. 

“Hello, Mr. Jacobs,” a voice the young male didn’t recognize greeted back. It was obviously a man, but he sounded eerily calm, and the melodic voice sent a shiver of something akin to fear down the SOLDIER’s spine. 

“May I ask who I am currently speaking to?” Jacobs asked, trying to keep his voice from cracking. 

The line was still silent for a moment more, with the only sound registering being that of a small metal clunking noise in the background. It almost sounded like a coin being tossed up in the air, caught, and then tossed back up again. 

“Sir?” He pressed harder, his voice more stern. 

A sigh was followed with the last soft plopping noise of the metal object being caught again. 

“You’re late,” the stranger stated, almost sounding disappointed. “One after another, you so-called ‘employees of Shinra’ keep disappointing me more and more. If this is all you have to offer, then your men will continue to drop dead like flowers slumping over in a winter chill.” The man chastised, before resuming his coin tossing. 

“W-what do you mean we’re late? Who are you?” Jacobs asked, horror causing dark shadows to fall over his face. 

“You. Are. Late. It is exactly as I have stated, and I even arrived here a day early.” The man genuinely sounded upset, like a child being told they couldn’t go to the candy store. 

“Corel is…” Jacobs was afraid to ask what he knew the man was implying. 

“Corel has fallen, Gongaga is next. Try to arrive on time for the next round.” With those final uttered words, the com beeped its disconnection, a female, automated voice ringing out in the space. 

“Connection with North Corel has been lost, please check your system preferences at this time as we attempt to stabilize.” 

Jacobs felt like he couldn’t breathe, and flinched when Cam’s hand came down on his shoulder in an act of comfort. 

“We--” the young male sniffled, tears gathering in his eyes as he prayed to Gaia that at least some survived. “We need to contact the general -- figure out what to do next, you know?” He nodded to himself, before standing to try and locate the correct phs for contacting Sephiroth. 

“I’ll do it, just sit for a second, and try to relax. For all we know, it could just be someone trying to rile us up. We won’t know anything for sure until the team we’ve sent out arrives at the site.” Cam tried to soothe the SOLDIER,even though her eyes looked disbelieving of her own words. 

Jacobs sat back down, his pained looked slowly twisting into one of self-contempt, and resolve. 

“Gongaga is next…”

\----------------------

“You’re absolutely sure this map is one-hundred percent the real deal? If I end up on Hojo’s table because you picked up an outdated map, I swear I’ll fucking murder you,” Reno promised, holding the map up in front of his face. Before a mission, turks always did their best to memorize the way, as relying too much on a map meant having to slow down to read it. Being one of the lazier men amongst the refined group of intel-seeking men, however, usually saw the redhead memorizing about eighty-percent of a map, and leaving the last twenty-percent to fate. 

“I’m positive, this is the map from the latest renovations, and is perfectly accurate,” Ark mumbled, before snatching the map out of Reno’s grip. 

“Fucker!” The turk shouted, sitting up to try and grab his map back, and more than a little peeved that the action had given him a nasty paper cut. 

Ark jerked the paper away just before Reno could reclaim it, holding his hand out in a “halt” command. The white-haired male placed it down on the glass table of the meeting room, and pulled the little desk lamp to the side closer so it illuminated the parchment better. 

“I’m going to show you where you need to go,” Ark explained, pulling a red pen out of the front pocket of his lab coat. He used his teeth to uncap the pen, while holding the edges of the map with a splayed palm so it didn’t curl back up all the way. After spitting the cap out, he leaned over and unfurled the map out completely before them. 

“The entrance you’ll go through is here,” The scientist pointed, before placing a sloppy star on a wide doorway at the southernmost point on the map. “It is where we get in our equipment shipments, so it isn’t guarded unless we are expecting a delivery. Tomorrow, there are no scheduled shipments, so I’ll leave it propped just enough for you to slip in. Obviously, I’ll be with Hojo, but at exactly five P.M. the camera’s to that area will be temporarily disengaged.” Ark placed an ‘X’, along with the number ‘5’ on a corner directly next to the shipment dock. “From this point, you will need to proceed cautiously. The path I’m highlighting to the data room is the least likely to be populated at this hour, but that doesn’t mean nobody will be there. Move quickly, but keep your senses peeled for someone who might crash your party.” Ark drew a dark red line along a specified twisting of hallways to a smaller room in the center of the map. 

“That’s the com room? Right in the fucking middle of the labs?” The redhead growled frustratedly. 

Ark nodded, glancing up at Reno with a serious expression. 

“It is the most important place to Hojo, as it is where he keeps all of his stored data on his experiments, and subjects. Placing it in the center of the labs makes it more challenging for someone to infiltrate. Getting in is the easy part; once inside, you will need to hack the computer on the farthest right side, and pull up the files whose names I’ve already given you.” Ark instructed, placing a dot over the rightmost corner of the small room. 

“Then what?” Reno quizzed, already hating all of the work he’d have to put into seeing this thing through to the end. 

“Delete them. Afterwards, you just need to grab the physical copies of the files in the storage cabinet to the left of the computers. It will be the third cabinet from the door, and the last drawer. Put them in the trash can, and burn them. Burning leaves no traces behind, and will make it impossible for any information on them to be copied.” Ark jotted down ‘three from door,’ and ‘bottom’ on the map as a reminder. 

“Then it really gets hard, right?” The redhead began filing away all of this information in the back of his mind, and became more serious as more instruction was given. 

“Precisely. From here, you will have around five minutes before the fire alarm goes off, and only seven or so to make it back to the delivery door. The camera is set to shut down for two minutes at exactly 5:59 PM, and the door to the delivery dock will close at 6:00 PM on the dot. Don’t be late, Reno, or you’ll be screwed.” Ark warned, glaring up at the redhead. If Reno missed the deadline, and was caught, not even the white-haired scientist could save him at that point. 

“Alright, Camera shuts off at 5, avoid people, enter data room, delete some shit, burn some shit, run like hell and pray to the planet I can slip through before the door closes at 6, and I end up hippity hopping with Hojo to the hell house. Simple enough,” Reno nodded. 

“Nothing about this is simple, but if it helps you get your job done to tell yourself that, then sure,” Ark muttered, before rolling up the map again, and handing it to Reno. “Don’t fuck up turk.”

“Don’t miss me too much while I’m gone, sadist scientist” Reno joked, smiling scornfully at the white-haired male. 

“I’d only miss your annoyingly loud mouth if you ended up getting caught and effectively obliterated, and even then it’s a stretch,” Ark glared again, before shoving Reno out of the way so he could make his exit. 

“Why don’t you just say we’re friends already!” The turk shouted after him, laughing even harder when he was flipped off. 

Oh the joys of being a smart ass.


	28. Astronaut In the Ocean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cloud takes time to reflect in the bathroom; Reno goes through with the plan made by him and Ark; Jacobs gives his report to Sephiroth about matters in Corel; Cloud is presented with something difficult.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter I sincerely apologize for, because the sheer number of cliffhangers will make you hate me. It is all for a just cause though, I promise! There was so much, and I couldn't really fit it all into this chapter without overcrowding. I hope you guys enjoy it, and I'm sorry for the skipped week. :)
> 
> **WARNINGS: Panic attack and hallucinatory instances that involve blood, angst, cliffhangers,**

"What you know about rolling down in the deep?

When your brain goes numb you can call that mental freeze

When these people talk too much, put that shit in slow motion,

I feel like an astronaut in the ocean."

-Astronaut In The Ocean by: Masked Wolf

\-------------------

Cloud stared at his disheveled reflection in the mirror; his spikey tufts of hair were sticking out in all directions in a more shaggy way than usual, while his eyes were still slightly lidded from the deep sleep he’d awoken from. Drifting his gaze down his features, Cloud noticed his lips were a little puffier than usual, probably the result of his actions with Angeal the night before. His eyes themselves were a more startling shade of turquoise as the Mako flared brighter within them, surrounded by the glistening, red tinted whites. 

To his own eyes, he looked like a rabid animal on the cusp of biting whoever had the displeasure of being his victim. 

The blonde looked away from the mirror, opting instead to look down at the sink. He turned the water on as hot as it would go, and heard the satisfying click of the instant water heater activating within the pipes. 

Rather than using his hands to splash the water on his face, Cloud stuck his head under the blast, gritting his teeth against the welcomed burn. He inhaled shallow puffs of air, thick with steam. 

‘They don’t want you. Who could want you?’ The voice asked, something akin to a cackling digging into the back of his consciousness. 

“That’s not true,” Cloud bit back, trying desperately to believe in the words Sephiroth and Angeal had just uttered, rather than those of the demon in his head. 

‘You’re just a prisoner, or a charity case at best. Once they’ve taken all they can, you’ll be alone again.’ The persona bared its fangs with a furious hiss, and Cloud flinched from the harshness of what he was afraid might be true. 

“I’m not going to listen to you anymore,” Cloud promised weakly, shaking his head in the current of the water, and causing droplets to splatter the mirror. 

‘No friends.’

“I’m not listening,” he retorted more forcefully, his teeth grinding together painfully. 

‘No family.’ 

“I won’t listen,” Cloud felt like he was seeing double, with each object leaving behind a contrail of itself as he raised his eyes. 

‘Unlikeable.’

“You WILL leave me alone,” Cloud ordered, glaring at his reflection once more. His vision twitched and shuttered, his reality mixing with his past in a back and forth battle. The droplets of water on the mirror flickered between clear, crystalline orbs, and deep, crimson spatterings. Cloud’s soft features received the same gruesome treatment; his pale cheeks and gold hair dripping with water one second, only to be tainted with thick, sticky blood the next. 

‘Unloveable!’ It screeched, before the nightmare coated in red cemented itself as his new reality. 

Cloud’s breath shuddered; puffs of steam leaving his mouth in small billows. His eyes seemed like they had been completely taken over by the Mako, appearing more like the fury-induced green of Sephiroth’s mid-battle. They cast green highlights on the peaks of his cheeks, and almost completely drowned out his pupil. The crimson spatters dripping down his face, and coating the mirror was such a deep shade of red that it was almost black. There was no light but what the mako in his eyes gave, and there was no escape except for in the tresses of his mind. 

“It’s not real…” Cloud sobbed at his reflection, eyes narrowed with bitter hatred, and teeth still clenched in a snarl. Still the warrior he was born to be, even through the tears and agony. 

‘Aren’t I?’ The voice laughed at his attempts at recovering his reality.

“None of it is real,” the blonde remained as strong as he could in the face of his inner nightmare. How long had it been since he’d experienced these hallucinatory lapses in reality? How long had it been since he was forced to fight the demonic persona, who hid behind the guise of his protector?

‘This, Cloud Strife, IS your reality. You need me,’ it whispered so clearly, that it almost sounded like the words were spoken directly into his ear. ‘I AM you.’

“I am not you,” Cloud denied, his fists clenching so fiercely, that his nails dug half-moon shapes into his palms. 

‘Run,’ it commanded. 

“No.”

‘Do what you do best, and run away.’

“I can’t…” Cloud felt his gaze tearing away from the reflection he could no longer bear to look at. He was alone, and he was losing his resolve quickly. How did one win a fight with themselves?

‘You can,’ the persona crooned, its voice like a sinister caress. 

“I’m so tired of this fight,” Cloud muttered, his eyes drooping with this exhaustion. Perhaps the voice was right; after all, if there was anyone truly unloveable in this universe, it would have to be him. He was weak, pathetic, broken, and a monster. “But I trust them…” 

‘You TRUST them?” The voice laughed. ‘You trust them when they say they want to care for you? Or when they say you are beautiful? Or how about when they claim you aren’t just something they want to fuck and throw away?’ 

Each sarcastically mocked question was like a knife puncturing Cloud’s chest. 

“I trust them,” Cloud nodded his head, biting his lower lip until blood was drawn. 

‘You don’t trust me?’ It asked, tone diluted, and indistinguishable. 

“I don’t” Cloud shook his head.

‘Who don’t you trust?’

Cloud gave his final stand, as realization dawned upon him, and forced him to meet his own eyes in the mirror. 

“I don’t trust myself,” he whispered, tears breaking free from the confines of his sad eyes. 

That was it… the reason this persona was born, and the reason it was so cruel. It was bred from Clouds inability to trust in himself, and therefore, he believed himself to be anything but worthy of the smallest bit of happiness in this life. He could deny the truth, until the anger from inside swelled up and forced him to face it. 

“Cloudy!” A voice yelled from the other side of the door, followed by a loud knocking. 

The blondes breath caught in his throat, his eyes quickly jumping to the door. The slightest glimmer of light was shining through underneath, illuminating this small corner of the nightmare he was still in. 

“Ang said you’ve been in here a while, you okay?” The man called out. 

‘I know this voice,’ Cloud thought to himself. 

‘You do,’ the persona inside confirmed gently -- more gently than it ever had spoken before. 

“Zack,” Cloud all but sobbed the name out in a cry of relief. 

Even if the blonde couldn’t trust himself in that moment, this was someone he could. He’d placed his very life in Zack’s hands in his last life, and he’d do it again in any other that might follow. 

Cloud didn’t even register his body moving; his limbs feeling numb, while his ears rang so loudly he couldn’t even hear his own footsteps. Next thing he knew, his face was pressed into a sturdy warmth, and he was surrounded by the most amazing, comforting scent. The soft material caressing his cheeks soaked up every tear he’d allowed to escape his defenses. 

“Hey, what’s wrong? You’re soaking wet,” Zack quizzed, his fingers running through the dripping blonde spikes of Cloud’s hair. 

Cloud couldn’t answer; he didn’t trust that his voice wouldn’t betray him. 

Zack was tall… 

Cloud was able to process that information better when he was latched on to the black-haired male willingly. 

THe blonde couldn’t remember himself ever being this short, but perhaps the way he held himself made him feel like a giant at times -- standing tall, and full of all his burdens. When he did allow his shoulders to slump though, he didn’t feel so strong, but in this instance, that was okay because he felt safe. 

Zack was confused. 

He wouldn’t say he didn’t like the fact that Cloud had dove in head first for a hug, but it was rather uncharacteristic of the younger male, who would rather touch fire than another person. Most days, Zack would have to exercise the limits of his patience and wait until Cloud was relaxed enough to allow the slightest caress. Other days, Cloud would shut him down completely, and slap away any hand that dared to get to close. This time, however, it had been the blonde who initiated the physical contact, and Zack didn’t know whether to feel happy or concerned. 

He shared a glance with Angeal, whose wrinkled brow confirmed he too had no idea what had gotten into the younger. The raven was still resting lazily in bed, his PHS resting, forgotten, in his hand. Sephiroth had gotten called out for something important moments before, so he was the only one the large mattress still held. 

“Alright,” Zack consoled carefully, placing his hands on Cloud’s back. This position lasted for all of about two more seconds, before the SOLDIER shifted his hold to grasp the backs of Cloud’s thighs. 

Cloud let out a sound of surprise, about to pull back when Zack hoisted lean legs up. 

“Put me down!” Cloud growled in fear, and indignation. He didn’t feel like cracking his head open on Sephiroth’s floor today. 

“Stop squirming,” Zack grunted through the strain. Cloud wasn’t particularly heavy, but if he started jerking and flailing about, it made it significantly more difficult to keep his hold. 

Zack crossed the room quickly, and with minimal strain after Cloud stopped struggling to get out of his grip. When the SOLDIER reached the bed, he was careful to not plop the blonde down too hard on his back. 

Cloud went to get up, but was stopped when Zack crawled on top of him, and pressed his forehead against the younger man’s so their eyes were forced to meet. 

“You’ve been crying,” Zack stated, taking in the puffiness of Cloud’s cerulean eyes. They became so much brighter, and stunning with the tears the blonde’s pain brought. 

“It was the steam in the bathroom. Made my eyes red…” Cloud refuted, blinking up at his friend in a sort of daze. It’d been a long time since he really looked at Zack’s face, and it only managed to cause an explosion of warmth to spread in his chest. The SOLDIER had always been blessed with good looks, but Cloud felt like it was okay to acknowledge that now. 

“You suck at lying more than me,” Zack chuckled, pulling back so he could look down at the blonde, who was caged between his arms and legs. 

“Let me up,” Cloud grumbled, placing a fist on Zack’s chest, and adding light pressure. 

Zack smirked playfully, glancing down at the fist, and back up at Cloud’s face. He took hold of the blonde’s hand, and guided it to the pillow next to his head. 

“Make me,” the SOLDIER teased, cocking his head to the side in an inquisitive way. He was curious about what might happen; curious about what Cloud might do. 

“Zack” Angeal chastised in a warning voice, watching the interaction between the two with a calculating gaze. So far, nothing seemed too bad -- just playful interactions that could easily be seen as those between two close friends -- but he didn’t want Zack to try and force anything just because Cloud was now aware of their intentions. If anything, that might make it more important to give the blonde a bit more space. 

“If Spike wants me off, then he can make me get off,” Zack’s lips curled into a mildly cocky smirk. Everyone had experienced many things with Cloud at this point, and he’d be damned if he let them have fun without him. 

Cloud glared up at the older male who was clearly challenging him -- baiting him. The question was, did he ignore the wriggling worm swinging in front of his face, or did he bite? 

Zack’s eyebrows raised expectantly, as if to utter a cocky “I’m waiting.” 

Two seconds…

Two dizzying seconds was all it took for Zack to find himself in a completely opposite position from the one he held before. 

Cloud had used one leg to lock onto Zack’s hip, while his arms locked around the SOLDIER’s shoulders. Then it was just a matter of using the strength in his other leg to flip himself and Zack so that the blonde was now on top. Cloud kept one hand plastered to Zack’s broad chest, sensing any flexes in the muscles there that might suggest Zack was about to retaliate. 

“I’m tired, not timid,” Cloud stated, staring down at Zack through eyes of equal challenge. His face was stern, but his gaze was relaxed in a way that said he wouldn’t actually strike at, or try to harm his friend. It seemed that these four just loved to underestimate his strength though. Just because he didn’t use force most days, didn’t mean he couldn’t escape whatever “traps” they thought they’d snared him in. In fact, Cloud was so aware of his own strength -- which he fought on a daily basis to contain -- that he usually chose not to force himself out of situations he found undesirable, for fear he actually might hurt someone. 

The blonde’s own muscles twitched and flexed in bunches under his skin; years of training had him reacting as if this were a real gropel for his freedom. This didn’t escape Zack’s notice, and Cloud observed the black-haired male, whose eyes were tracing the lithe form looming over him. 

“I never said you were timid,” Zack smirked, flashing his teeth in something more like a snarl than a smile. 

The puppy was getting riled up. 

Cloud “hmph-ed,” and prepared to climb off of the older man, taking satisfaction in his victory. His actions were halted, however, when Zack’s hand shot out, and grabbed the blonde by his bicep. 

Cloud let out a sharp shout of surprise, and found his nose pressed in that delicious smelling heat once more. Zack held him to his chest, with Cloud’s arms trapped between them. 

“Wa y’ doon?” Cloud quizzed with a growl of frustration. His words, which were supposed to be “What are you doing?” were muffled by the material of Zack’s t-shirt. 

“You just seem like you need it.” Zack’s words were soft now -- lacking in the playfulness of when they’d been rolling over each other in a short wrestling match. 

Angeal, who had been as silent as possible during the interaction, glanced at the warm display with a small smile gracing his stern features. Even if Cloud was grumbling under his breath like there was anywhere else he’d rather be, the way he pressed himself closer to Zack and sighed was all the SOLDIERs needed to know how much he appreciated the comforting closeness. 

Zack looked up at Angeal, his chin resting against the top of Cloud’s head, and offered the raven a smile of his own. 

Somehow, in that moment, it felt like everything was going to be alright. 

\--------------------

Reno’s back was plastered against the wall, with his senses as tuned into his surroundings as he could possibly get them. The delivery dock door was right around the corner, but he needed a moment to mentally prepare himself for the challenge of what was ahead. After all, the redhead was rather reckless, but he wasn’t fucking suicidal, and this mission was borderline the latter. 

‘Okay, Slip in, find the filing room, delete and burn, get out, and run like hell.’ Reno relayed the plan to himself over and over in his head. Nervously, he flicked the lighter in his palm open and closed, finding solace in the sound of metal scraping metal. 

“I must be insane,” the turk muttered. He took a deep breath, and glanced down at the watch around his wrist. The screen flashed when it registered the movement of eyes on it, revealing the time to be 4:59 PM already. It was now or never. 

Just as Reno pushed his back up off of the wall, the click of the delivery door unlocking filled the enclosed, alley-like space with it’s echo. To the redhead’s ears, it almost sounded too loud, and made him wonder if anyone else might’ve heard it. Ark had assured him that there would be no one near the dock at this hour, but Reno had never been the type to completely place his trust in the words of another. The white-haired male had even more to lose than Reno though, so there wasn’t really anything he could gain from setting up the turk. That alone was the only reason Reno had agreed to this absurd plan. 

“Roughly ninety-percent chance of getting caught, ten-percent of success,” Reno nodded to himself, staring at the cracked door with a cocky smirk. 

The quiet beeping of the alarm on his watch was like a siren letting him know it was time to move. The clock was ticking, and he no longer had the luxury of standing around like he was some scared kid. 

Reno closed the lighter over one last time, placing it in his pocket with the heavy knowledge that the next time it was opened, he’d be participating in the race to keep his life. 

This was the easy part, after all. 

Shoving all of these thoughts into the back of his mind, the redhead placed all of his focus on his objection, and pulled forth the memory of the map he’d studied. 

He walked up to the door, pressing his ear against the cool metal in an attempt at picking up any vibration on the other side. When he heard nothing, Reno cracked it open further; just enough to see inside. All around the room his eyes scanned were boxes and packaging materials. Some were still sealed and stacked high, while others were open, and tipped over so that packaging peanuts and bubble wrap spilled out onto the floor. A knife -- probably used to open the boxes -- was stuck in a block of styrofoam next to the door, and gleamed when the five-o’clock sun hit its reflective surface. 

“Does anyone at Shinra know how to keep their workspace clean?” The redhead muttered under his breath, thinking back to when he infiltrated the tech room to leave Cloud his message. This time was different though, seeing as how walking through a room coated in bubble wrap and crunchy styrofoam was the fastest way to get caught. All he had to do was step on one thing, and anyone nearby would hear him coming. 

Cautiously, Reno slipped himself through the door, glancing up to make sure the security camera was still off. Once satisfied, he closed the delivery dock door over, effectively sealing his fate when the locking mechanism engaged. He looked down at his watch again, and saw he had about two minutes to get through this potentially noise-infested room before the camera powered back on. 

Anyone who knew Reno was the least graceful of the turks -- almost knocking rude out with his electric shock stick at least fifty times a day -- would be rather impressed with the delicate agility he displayed in quickly navigating the room. He admittedly almost stepped on five or six sheets of bubble wrap, and at least two packaging peanuts, but he didn’t so that was all that counted in his book. Besides, you accept Reno’s services, and you were already gambling on a disaster of epic proportions. He didn’t even have enough fingers to count the number of helicopters, machinery, and buildings he’d blown up during his years. A clean job with him was like asking for a baby to stop crying -- it might work out, but the odds weren’t in your favor. 

Reno hopped out of the room and into the hallway just as the mechanical whirring of the camera activating hit his ears. He let out a breath of relief, and surveyed the narrow, empty corridor he now stood in. If he’d read the map correctly, then he’d need to pass three other halls, before taking a right. With how small this space was, it was safe to assume he’d hear the echoing of footsteps should someone be getting close. For now, he’d tread lightly on his feet, but quickly. 

“One… two…” Reno counted the hallways as he passed, ensuring he wouldn’t end up accidentally wandering down the wrong one. His heart raced the closer he got to the third hall, his eyes catching sight of it a little ways away. 

“Three…Ha, easy--” The redhead slapped a hand over his mouth, and jumped away from the opening of the hall he was supposed to travel down. His chest pounded, and his breaths came out ragged. 

Just down the hall he needed to go through, was a couple of interns chatting and laughing amongst themselves. Their backs were mostly to Reno, but that didn’t mean the close call hadn’t scared the living shit out of him. His desire to rush things along like this was any other job had nearly signed him up to fill his casket early. There was too much riding on this for him to pretend this was a march through his own home. Not only his fate, but also Cloud’s, and even Ark’s rode on his success. 

“Yah, apparently Hojo has been going crazy over a new project lately. No one knows what’s really going on, but the professor has been even harder to work with.” One intern whispered -- a male. 

“You speak as if he wasn’t already crazy to begin with. I know we’re supposed to be here to get the experience for our resumes (aka CV), but I can’t stand working with him. It’s like… death surrounds whenever he is near.” The second intern -- a female -- responded. 

Reno snorted, because that was the understatement of the century. As far as the redhead was concerned, Hojo would forever be Doctor Death in his mind. 

“Shh, I think I heard something,” the male hushed, sounding nervous. “Let’s go,” he prompted after a moment of silence, dragging the girl along with him down a hall that led to the labs. 

Smart on their part -- getting caught talking shit about the guy who ruled this place like a tyrant king was not an ideal situation for anyone. It also now gave Reno his opening to get back on track to his destination. 

Letting out a sigh of relief, though still a little tense after such a close call, the turk began heading down the new hall. This one was even more narrow, and had less lighting. It made it easier to stay hidden, but even the quietness of his footsteps couldn’t be completely masked in such an echoey space. 

‘Please let me not run into anymore people,’ Reno begged whatever force in the universe that might be listening. He was already high strung, and didn’t think he could handle any more excitement. 

Just a couple more turns, and he’d be there. 

He wanted to run, because the closer he got, the more antsy he became. His training told him he needed to take this slow and steady though. A rushed job was never a good one, and if he got ahead of himself, he’d screw things up. 

“Focus,” Reno scolded himself, feeling sweat trickle down the side of his face as he peaked around the corner to ensure his path was still clear. 

How long had it been since an assignment had made him sweat? Gaia, he was so lame. 

He could hear more voices, but they sounded far enough away that he didn’t have to worry about them yet. He needed to keep himself on track, and just get to the door. He just had to get to the damn door!

The echoed voices around him had him going haywire, and threatened to make his brain short circuit from the stress. Was it just his mind playing tricks on him in his panic, and making him think people were closer than they actually were? 

He was almost there. 

Reno bit his lower lip to hold back the string of curses that so desperately wanted to break free. 

So close…

When he finally broke through the door and into the data storage room. He was breathing so hard he was sure someone would hear him come bursting in after him. The room itself was eerily silent though, to the point where all he could hear was the slight mechanical buzz of machinery, and his own heartbeat. 

Reno spent the few seconds he took to catch his breath looking at his watch. It was already past five-thirty, meaning he’d spent half of his time just getting here. If he didn’t finish this quickly, then he’d end up getting locked in. Part of that time had been spent waiting for the interns to clear the hall so he could slip through, but he knew it would take at least fifteen minutes to get back to the delivery dock. 

“The universe just couldn’t let me stay dead, could it? Instead, I’m here at Shinra working my ass off all over again,” the redhead grouched through his panted breaths as he began typing on the computer Ark had instructed him to use. It was surprisingly already unlocked, revealing why it had to be this computer specifically. Its location as the furthest from the door meant it was the least likely to be used, meaning its unlocked state was less likely to be discovered. He figured the only reason the files weren’t already up too was because of certain security measures that would put a flag on the device, and lock the documents down. 

“Project R, project R…” he repeated as he searched for the right documents. Once they were open, however, he paused the cursor over the delete button. 

His eyes scanned over the lines of writing, while his stomach churned uncomfortable more and more with each word. 

“Fuck,” he cursed breathily, before taking his phone out so he could snap pictures of the important stuff. He’d have to get this to Cloud, no matter what; the blonde needed to know exactly what he was up against with Hojo and his sick mind. 

Once satisfied, he deleted all of the files in the database, and pulled the plug on the computer in case of a back up alarm. 

Reno nearly tripped over the computer chair when he got up to search for the files in the cabinet. Third cabinet from the door, last drawer. As expected, it was already unlocked. In any other circumstance, Reno might’ve considered it an insult to his skills for Ark to have basically done all of the breaking and entering crap for him, but with time running out he only felt relief. 

The Project R file was close to the back, and Reno was quick to snatch it up. He crossed the room to the trash can quickly, tossing the file in and pulling out the lighter. 

He opened it and tried to switch it on, but it sparked and refused to ignite. 

“Come on!” Reno hissed, but the lighter refused to light. “Fuck!” The turk shoved the lighter back in his pocket, one hand fisted in his hair. He couldn’t take them with him for several reasons. If he was caught trying to escape, then he’d just be handing what he was trying to destroy back. Additionally, if they were found on him outside of the labs, he might be under investigation for Hojo’s misdoings. In other words, he’d inadvertently frame himself for a crime he wasn’t committing. Those were only a couple of reasons -- the bigger ones -- but there were many more he didn’t want to think about. 

Reno bit down on his thumb, looking around the room as if a lighter would magically appear out of thin air. 

Oh…Wait a fucking minute. 

He was in a room full of tech -- tech used electricity -- electricity equaled fire and how could he be so stupid to not think of this quicker. 

Reno shot back to the trash can, picking up one of the papers sticking out of the folder. His hands shook as he concentrated on twisting the paper into a pointed, log-like shape. He then stripped off his shirt, and wrapped it around his hand, hopefully protecting the appendage from what he was about to do. Next took a paper clip off of the desk next to the computer, and wrapped the wire around the end of the paper. Sticking paper in by itself would only cause the outlet to circuit, but his hope was that the current of electricity might heat up the metal enough to ignite the paper. In short, an electrical fire. 

Reno took a steadying breath when he knelt before the outlet. He unplugged one of the extension cords, casting half of the room in darkness without the glow of the computers. For this, he needed a direct flow from the source. 

“Please don’t blow up,” Reno begged the outlet, before slowly sticking the metal end of the paper clip into the outlet. He blew on the end of the paper that was connected to the metal, and squinted as the outlet sparked and crackled. 

The redhead nearly cried out with joy when the paper began to smoke, and took on a slight red glow. 

“Yes yes yes,” he urged as if he were willing a slot machine to match the last two symbols. 

The end of the paper suddenly burst into a small flame, which Reno quickly carried over to the trash can, and dropped inside. 

It only took around thirty seconds for the bin to burst into flames, which was Reno’s cue to get the hell out of there. He barely even had the mind to make sure the hall was clear before exiting, and with his adrenaline pumping, he began sprinting. 

The redhead looked down at his watch. The whole ordeal had taken him longer than he intended, and now he only had ten minutes. His only hope was to run and hope he didn’t get caught. 

His arms pumped at his sides, while his lungs burned in his chest. His heart hammered loudly against his ribs, making him feel nauseous. After only a minute of running, the fire alarm went off, as did the sprinkler system. 

Reno’s vision was obscured by the droplets falling into his eyes, but he didn’t have the time to care. He simply squinted, and tried his best to keep his gaze focussed. His shirt was still wrapped around his hand, soaking up the water raining down on it. He hadn’t even bothered to put it back on, and was thankful the material wasn’t clinging to his abdomen. 

Only a few minutes left.

Reno flew into the last hall that would lead directly to the delivery dock. He could hear shouts all around from people trying to escape the rain of water from the ceiling. Even if they were shouting at him though, he refused to stop. His shoes squeaked against the grown, and his hair was plastered against his forehead. Each time he threw a glance over his shoulder, the tendrils flew and slapped against the skin of his cheeks. He was going to be a frizzy mess when it finally dried. 

One minute left! 

This meant the camera was already powered off, and he could just run right out the door. 

Despite his legs screaming at him to stop, Reno forced them to move even faster. His vision blurred now more from a lack of oxygen than water, but he’d gladly collapse outside this hell hole rather than get caught inside. He could see the room up ahead, and nearly let out a cry of relief. 

Almost there!

So close!

\------------------

“Something is happening in Corel?” Sephiroth quizzed, not sure if he’d heard correctly since the young man giving him the information was mumbling. 

“Well, we aren’t exactly sure sir, but someone infiltrated Corel, and used our own communication devices to send us a message. They… they basically said we are too late, and that the next location to be hit would be Gongaga,” Jacobs stated, relaying the most important information first. 

Sephiroth showed signs of obvious distress for anyone who knew him, but for those who didn’t, he would seem as impassive as ever. 

“Did they give you any reason to believe they were the ones behind these incidents?” The general quizzed, not completely sure how he was going to be able to relay this information to Genesis and Angeal. One of their closest friends was stationed in Corel, and they’d been worried about something going wrong. To have to be the one to tell them their fears might’ve been justified after days of trying to reassure them… it wouldn’t be easy. 

“Not really… Uh,” Jacobs shuddered under the enormous presence that Sephiroth executed. Because he had been the one to listen to the recording, and speak with the man on the other line personally, it was his job to give this report. He had gone in expecting it to be a simple task, but Shinra’s general was even more terrifying to be around than he thought. It was even more so when he knew he had a secret he was desperately trying to hide. 

Sephiroth cast an impatient glare down at the young SOLDIER, who was no more helpful right now than a child learning to speak.

Feeling the scrutiny, Jacobs cleared his throat, and stood up a little straighter. Even if he was intimidated, he was still a SOLDIER, and it was his job to be unaffected, and help Shinra in any way he could. 

“No sir! From what I could gather from the wording the man used, and the fact that he gave us a tip about Gongaga, he seems like he is trying to help. He appears to be the type who is impatient, or even like he might be playing some sort of game, but I did not get any hints of malice, or ill-will directed at Shinra as a company.” It took all of Jacob’s will to get that out sternly, and precisely, but once he did he felt pride in himself. It felt like he was a part of something bigger, and that he was finally doing something to help for the first time since Fort Condor. 

Sephiroth nodded his understanding, rubbing his gloved forefinger and thumb together as he thought. 

“Shinra could always use more allies, even ones who tread in the darkness outside of what we can see. If he is helping us right now, then it would be in our best interest to at least take his warning seriously, and evacuate Gongaga,” the silver-haired man spoke more to himself than the brunette standing before him. 

“I’m sorry, sir, but evacuate? How do we evacuate a whole town of its people, without telling them why we are doing so? With all that has been going on, eventually this news will get back to Midgar, and then we’ll have another crisis on our hands. The people know something is wrong.” Jacobs tried to see the reasoning in all of this, and while yes, he agreed evacuation was the best way to prevent more casualties, he didn’t see a safe way of doing so without causing more trouble. It seemed like no matter which way they went, avoiding one problem only caused another. 

“So we tell the truth,” Sephiroth said after a moment of silence. “Shinra has already been backed into a corner, and with recent events, we couldn’t have hoped to keep this all quiet for much longer. President Shinra has been preparing to give a speech on live television since the first riots started.” 

Jacobs’ jaw dropped. Tell the public? As in tell them the world as they knew it might be ending because of reactor shut downs, and some illness that meant a guaranteed, painful death if you contracted it? The young SOLDIER may have thought sharing this information was a good idea a couple of weeks ago, but now it just seemed insane. 

“Until that time, we need to keep the city under continuous surveillance to prevent another mass public outburst, and keep searching for the people who are responsible for this disaster. I want to be notified as soon as you have made connection with the team sent to Corel, as this is a meeting that it is imperative I attend. Whatever awaits us, we need to prepare ourselves.” Sephiroth stated firmly, placing a strong hand on the young brunette’s shoulder as he began to walk out of the room. 

“Wait!” Jacobs shouted, his eyes widening when he realized he’d just barked an order at his general. If Sephiroth was upset though, it wasn’t revealed in his eyes. The silver-haired man merely turned his gaze back to the SOLDIER with a patient look. 

“I-I’m sorry, sir, but what if… what if telling the public the truth only causes more problems than we had before?” Jacobs quizzed, his brows pinching together, and his lips thinning in concern. 

“It won’t,” Sephiroth shook his head, his silver hair flowing like liquid around his stern features. 

“That is -- how do you know?” The brunette knew he was pressing his luck asking the general to explain himself, when by all rights Jacobs should seal his mouth shut and just nod his head. 

At first, it didn’t seem like Sephiroth was going to reply, but just before he slipped through the entryway of the room, he called out to the SOLDIER.

“Because we have Cloud Strife.” 

‘What’s a Cloud Strife?’ Jacobs internally quizzed, envisioning the puffy balls you’d see floating in the sky. He had no way of knowing he’d learn very soon exactly what a Cloud Strife was, and what it was capable of. 

\------------------

“Shinra is willing to pay you 50,000 gil if you do this for us, Cloud,” Shinra’s general stated, placing the paper in front of the blonde, who was looking down at it like it was cursed. 

He knew Sephiroth was just passing the message along from Rufus’s offices, but he could hear the barest hints of hope in the silver-haired man’s tone. 

If he agreed to this, he wasn’t just agreeing to the assignment itself, he was agreeing to be employed by Shinra again, even if only for a short time. It may seem a simple thing to agree to, but as Cloud had grown older, and experienced so many things, he’d learned to understand even the smallest matters could trickle into a bigger picture. Aside from this was the obvious fact that agreeing to help Shinra went against everything he’d promised himself. 

Now that he was sitting here between the four men he’d recently realized he cared for more than he should, he was faced with two options. 

Forsake his values and become a pawn of Shinra again, or refuse and risk the people he wanted to protect from getting hurt. It felt like he’d lose something no matter what he chose. 

He just wanted to ask one question before he made this decision. A question he’d always asked himself, but was never willing, nor able to ask others before. 

“Why does it have to be me?”

\------------------

**Author's Note:**

> Song for chapter quote and title: Kings by Tribe Society.


End file.
